You May Never Be Good Enough For Everybody!!!


Stage Two of writing about the shadow that comes with investigating possible opportunities in situations where you meet new and interesting women and you are deep in lacking confidence because you are listening to all those stories your identity has been telling you for years and years.

Self-criticism can be debilitating because when our criticism becomes internal, it can be very difficult to shake.

You know that little voice that chimes in when you screw up? The one that tells you you’re no good, or that you made a stupid decision, or that you can’t succeed? That’s the voice of selfcriticism. And you’d be surprised how often that little voice runs the show.

Marisa Peer of MindValley has a great suggestion for dealing with this form of criticism. She encourages you to change that niggling voice of self-doubt into your own personal cheerleader.

The first step is being able to recognize the negative self-talk when it’s in action. The second step? Flipping the commentary to something more positive.

Marisa suggests imagining what a supportive parent or teacher might tell you. Would they tell you that you’re no good and that you’re only going to screw it up? No. They’d tell you that you’re a rock star and that you should keep trying and that you’re smart enough to get this done.

“It’s okay to make mistakes because you learn,” explains Marisa. “It is okay for someone to point out your mistakes because you can get better. What’s not okay is to beat yourself up.”

Unfortunately, I did not do this Saturday at Mojo – The Dance of Connection, I got stuck in my identity and gave myself a good beating.

What do the masters say about self-confidence, lets have a look:

connff1

1. Saturday night I failed Number One.

perff2

2. Forgot some of these essential self-loving things Saturday: Hey You.

perff3

3. Thich Nhat Hanh is one of our wisest.

perff4

4. Goethe learnt this at an early age, earning royal recognition at the age of 25: Who You Are.

perff5

5. Pride can be deemed to be negative or positive, most religions see it as the former and aim towards belief, in their god and yourself.

perff6

6. I am all these things at times: This Is Me.

perff7

7. In the book Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable: Transforming the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Dr Brené Brown, vulnerability is defined as “uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.” Brené says that “vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy and creativity.

perff8

8. Fear or Love: Choose: Don’t Choose Out Of Fear.

perff9

9. More about Fear.

pperff10

10. Be Okay for it to be Okay to be you: Be Yourself.

perff11

11. Your dreams do not live inside your excuses.

perff12

12. How good are you at resisting the world: Break Free.

perff13

13. Self-Care 101.

perff14

14. Written by the worlds greatest philosopher, Ms Unknown points to the magic of self-belief: Could It Be Magic.

perff15

15. And we finish with a silent meditation.

I am empowered by Brene Browns take on self-confidence. “Being vulnerable doesn’t just require courage and self-confidence. It requires self-compassion. Having self-compassion has profound effects both internally and externally. Even showing compassion to others can’t actually be achieved unless you have compassion for yourself. “When you cannot ask for help without self-judgment, you are never really offering help without judgment,” Brown says. “Because you have attached judgment to asking for help.”

This concept extends beyond helping. Whether it’s related to health, career or relationships, judging something about yourself means that you will always judge that same thing in others. For example, you must be able to accept and receive love before you can truly provide it.

Though 85 per cent of adults say they are capable of giving and receiving love, more than 30 per cent of men and women fear to be alone and tend to lose themselves in relationships. Reading Brene’s research and insights make me ponder where I am at the moment with all of it.

The playlist today contains that song from The Greatest Showman. We begin with Pink Floyd, followed by pop diva Jessie J. Then that song, Next is the Spoken Word from Jim Carrey. A fine rock song from Audioslave follows. The penultimate tune is from Ariana Grande, and we finish with disco diva Donna Summer: You May Never Be Good Enough For Everybody.

I feel that I am in the shadowland of the journey of having Love and Respect For All, Everyone Included be the world paradigm. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

inner peace 6

 

It is What It Is, No Means No!!


I went to a social occasion where a very lively conversation on consent was held recently. In my mind, this does not happen nearly enough in our instant gratification society, where things seem to be assumed as we do not have the time to discuss what works for all parties involved in interactions these days.

To me, evidence of this in the level of divorce, domestic violence and sexual assaults that take place daily around the planet. How different would communication be if we took the time necessary to set respectful boundaries for our social interactions?

How has the world related to gaining consent over the centuries, here are some takes at it:

consent

1. Possibly the most patriarchal argument that bad men use in cases of sexual assault, that the way she dressed caused them to act that way, not their inherent evil.

cons2 

2. This is becoming more widespread day by day, in our country recently our Federal police raided our national broadcaster in the name of national security, how to promote fear in the population 101: You Say,

cons3

3. In granting people consent, you take away their inferiority complex.

cons4

4. It is a legal contract, everything else within it needs to be based on open communication: Till It Happens To You.

cons5

5. Apathy has its price.

cons6

6. And it has a name, sexual assault: Don’t Touch My Body.

cons7

7. As the title of this blog says, No means No.

cons8

8. Unfortunately, this seems to be the direction the world is heading in Roll Jordan Roll.

cons9

9. Here is the opposing view when it is personal, not universal.

cons10

10. The state does not get to oppress their citizens unless the citizens allow it: Get Up, Stand Up.

cons11

11. Unfortunately, men may lie to get into government though.

cons13

12. What do you consent to in your life, creeping or soaring: Your Love.

cons14

13. Consenting to a cause where you are willing to die, that’s rare these days.

cons14

14. It isn’t only humans that require consent, remember how our beloved moggies behave when we move them: Best Kittycat Song.

cons15

15. MLK pointing out why consent is so important.

At the end of the discussion we had set what were basic premises for consent in the area we were discussing, it felt great.

The playlist today begins with two pop diva’s, Laura Daigle and Lady Gaga. Then a spoken word piece followed by a choir. Then two great classics from Jackie Wilson and Bob Marley. We close with a number from a cat: It Is What It Is, No Means No.

This is an area society needs to do a lot of work on if we are to live from the world paradigm, Love and Respect For All, Everyone Included. Until next time we meet, dear friends.

lovelight5

I Decide My Vibe!!


What am I feeling today, a little bit of fear as to what it will take me to break through my always knowing about how to perform in a relationship and ask my new friend if it can be more than a friendship, we can all relate to the just friends scenario, it has devastated me at different times in my life.

I feel something in my heart that has not been there for a long time, yet I feel almost frozen to do anything about it. It’s a, we work together situation and is it politically correct in these days of  #metoo to pursue it further. Fuck, it hurts my heart.

So, what have we, as a community said about moving to the next level in relationships, let’s open our hearts up and find out:

level1

1. So true, being numb and frozen clearly does not work.

level2

2. Which floor do you require? My lift operator in my heart to self: Level Up.

level3

3. The exact advice my friend Phoenix gave me in an Expand The Box exercise we were in last night when I tried to find the answer in my head, not my heart.

level4

4. Focus on what’s in your heart, not your head: Listen to Your Heart.

level5

5. Are you an Id flyer?

level6

6. Oops, this gets in: Same Old Shit.

level7

7. This will help break through the numbness.

level8

8. Shag pile carpet or facing reality, choose: Uncomfortable

level9.jpeg

9. Is that a goddess picture, maybe?

level10

10. How do you get from point A to point B: More Than Friends.

level11

11. Another way of saying what Phoenix pointed out that I needed to do for it to have any chance.

level12

12. I believe in the starseed theory, that the universe is listening to our spoken and unspoken requests and tries to answer them: Across The Universe.

level13

13. I’m sure my millennial nephews would understand what he is saying, I’m not so sure.

level14

14. Language, it can make you quite sad at times: Computer Games.

level15

15. And for our final lesson, Rod, fucking remember this and get out of your head.

When you are not researching possibility as your source but entering the world of feelings I notice that my blogs have become much shorter. How many words do I have blocked in the frozen parts of my body, we shall see over time.

The Playlist has a classic death metal fuck you track amongst it today. We begin with Ciara, travel back to Roxette. Cross the political correct boundary with Macz, then rock out with Halestorm. Jason Mraz and Meghan Trainor ask each other a relationship question. Rufus Wainwright redefines a Beatles song and we finish with an Oz classic from Mi-Sex: I Decide My Vibe.

Relationships must come from Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included, Peace out to next time, my dear friends.

love13

Sometimes, Strength Comes In!!


I have been to events where I have felt totally alone in a crowded room. Yet every person in that room has their own unique story, it is just that most of the time we do not know them, sometimes even the stories of our closest friends. Marc and Angel Chernoff, in their book Getting Back To Happy: Website link.  say the following:

Every passing face on the street represents  a story just as captivating, complicated, and crazy as yours. When you look at another person, any person, remember that everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through through something that’s inadvertantly changed them and forced them to grow. Everyone you meet has struggled, and continues to struggle in some way, and to them it’s just as hard as what you’re going through.  Marc’s grandmother told him the following – “If you think you know someone who never feels the way you do right now – who never feels a bit lost and alone, and downright confused and crazy – you just don’t know enough about them. Every one of us contains a measure of ‘crazy’  that moves us in strange, often perplexing ways. This side of us is necessary; it’s part of our human ability to think, adapt and grow. It’s part of being intelligent,” she said. “No great mind has ever existed without a touch of this kind of madness.”

She continued, “And sometimes how you feel simply won’t align with how you want to feel – it’s mostly your subconscious mind’s way of helping you look at things from a different perspective. These feelings will come and go quickly as long as you let them go…as long as you consciously  acknowledge them, and then push through them. At least that’s what I’ve learned to do for myself, out of necessity, on a regular basis. So you and I actually struggling through this one together , honey. And I’m pretty certain we are not the only ones.”

So what does the world say about the fact we are not alone, here’s some of my favourite quotes about it:

notalone1

1. We say we do not like rainy days, but without them we would not survive very long.

notalone2

2. Every year my friends from around the world on Booker Looker land send me birthday wishes that remind me that I am not alone and that I am well loved: There must be an Angel.

notalone3

3. A salient point made by the creator of the Four Hour Week, Tim Ferris. Remember it is the darkness our most profound insights come to us.

notalone4

4. How did you meet your best friend?: Freak Like Me.

notalone6

5. Makes me think of the Liverpool Football club theme song, We’ll never walk alone.

notalone5

6. The remedy to we are not alone: Travel outside the city until you can see the Milky Way, look up: You Are a Child of the Universe.

notalone7

7. God is a word that does strange things to me, which god are they talking about, Zeus or the christian one. Anyway, I think what they are saying is to have faith.

not alone8

8. I have friends who live in other countries but whenever we meet, it feels like we have been apart five minutes: Song For You far Away.

notalone9

 

9. Under all gifts you can give in the world, lies Love. this is what all the great prophets spoke of, unfortunately mankind misinterpreted it.

notalone10

10. Is this from Ernest Hemingway’s of Mice and Men? Not sure, but quite profound: You Are Not Alone.

notalone11

11. More proof that underlying all is Love, it just that life’s circumstances make us forget at times.

notalone12

12. Here’s the cute photo quote: Postcards From Italy.

notalone13

13. Green’s rapid rise to fame and idiosyncratic voice are credited with creating a major shift in the young adult fiction market. ) He is an American author, vlogger, writer, producer, actor, editor, and educator.

notalone14

14. This is not necessarily an easy thing to do. I remember during my six years of mental health issues I would pretend to be not home when my relatives came around because I was so sure that I was alone and that they were pretending to care about me. Luckily for me they never gave up on me: Mama, Weer All Crazy Now.

notalone15

15. And if you want to sing along with Michael, here is the chorus.

When times are tough, and some piece of you is chipped and broken, it’s easy to feel like everything – all of you – is broken along with it. But that’s not true. You will wake up again tomorrow, and each new day is a chance to begin again.

Todays playlist begins with the Eurythmics, a band named after a Steiner education method, Halestorm follow with a rap anthem then the timeless Desiderata. two pop icons in James Taylor and Michael jackson come next followed by Florence and the Machine. We close out with a timeless anthem by Slade. here is the link to the Youtube playlist: This Weeks Playlist.

Namaste until next time we meet, my dear friends:

namasteflower

 

 

If Not Now , When?


“When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see them you will see yourself. As you treat them, you will treat yourself. As you think of them, you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in them you will find yourself or lose yourself.”

It is amazing how many quotes written in this and the last century still use the sexist terminology of single genders, I have taken on replacing these words with more appropriate ones that include everyone.

How do you treat your daily encounters with each person? Is it I know what they are like, so I don’t need to listen to what they’re saying or is it what can they teach me today.

How does the world look at our holy encounters, what have we said about it over the generations:

he1

1. This would be an amazing state to be with another person,  what could we learn about them?

he2

2. For the better I hope: Change of Heart.

he3

3. I am part of a group called Sunday Assembly, a secular group that gathers once a month and has a service to celebrate life. Our motto’s are Live Better, Help Often and Wonder More.

he4

4. From the 12th Century comes Dante’s contribution, let’s resonate more and more: Soul Kind of Feeling.

he5

5. It is hard to believe that the magnificent lotus begins its journey through mud.

he7

6. The greatest form of holy encounter, and what is more powerful than anything: Love: Beauty and the Beast.

he8

7. It was Martin Luther King day yesterday, I watched a special. It was like every word he spoke was a quote on Love.

he9

8. That’s why I meditate daily , to be alert and awake: Say It Right.

he10

9. Epictetus taught that philosophy is a way of life and not just a theoretical discipline. To Epictetus, all external events are beyond our control; we should accept calmly and dispassionately whatever happens. However, individuals are responsible for their own actions, which they can examine and control through rigorous self-discipline.

he11

10. I think I am denying it at the moment, the feeling and events will just not go away: Only You.

he12

11. That’s what they read out at your passing, your acts of love not your assets.

he13

12. Too cute not to use: Elephant Love Medley.

he14

13. In the 1950s, Mignon began publishing aphorisms that were later collected in three books, entitled, The Neurotic’s Notebook, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook and The Complete Neurotic’s Notebook. She is known for a number of quotes, among them:

  • “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
  • “Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.”
  • “Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers.”

he15

14. One of the great statements about self holy encounter, Helen Keller live a magnificent life with issues most of us would have given up with: God’s Plan.

he16

15. Another take on the opening quote by Eckhart Tolle.

We decide want we want too see before we see it. We receive what we request “Projection makes Perception”. We can find – and in fact we will find what we look for in life. Our spirit or soul takes responsibility for what we chose to perceive, fear and hate or love and joy> It is up to each of us what path we go down.

Music today is from Cyndi Lauper, Australia’s fabulous Dynamic Hepnotics, Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson, Nelly Furtado, a classic oldie by the Platters, Molin Rouge and Drake.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower

 

We are a work in progress!!


Disruptive Engagement – what does Brene Brown mean by that term: It’s quite long but worthwhile -To reignite creativity, innovation, and learning, leaders must re-humanize education and work. This means understanding how scarcity is affecting the way we lead and work, learning how to engage with vulnerability, and recognizing and combating shame. Make no mistake: honest conversations about vulnerability and shame are disruptive. The reason that we are not having these conversations in our organizations is that they shine the light in dark corners. Once there is language, awareness, and understanding, turning back is almost impossible and carries with it severe consequences. We all want to dare greatly. If you give us a glimpse into that possibility, we’ll hold on to it as our vision.

To me it is engagement through the community, accepting self-love and love of others and giving your identity up. The juice is from service to others. I put in engagement quotes to find pictures and got a whole lot of rings and vows of deep love so I changed it to committed engagement and these are what came up. Let’s journey:

eng1

1. Be responsible for your life, it’s your engagement and stand for what it is that creates the story that will be told after you have passed.

eng2

2. He really did look like an eccentric 60’s hippie philosopher. Alan Watts is quoted by humanists, community builders, and generally good people: Work and Play.

eng4

3. Doing Life – How do you do yours? Is it a joyous journey you wake up every morning screaming Yes!!!!!! Or is it a life of darkness?

eng5

4. Being silent is being busy if you planned it. I have many friends who have attended the 10-day Vispanna meditation retreat and said it was the hardest thing they had done and the best thing they had done all in the same breath: The Devil goes Down to Georgia.

eng6

5. How could you not choose this imagery and message, that’s why I said you need to give up your identity.

eng7

6. Engagement is a day to day adventure, make sure you do not wait to begin it: Alive.

eng8

7. Such a beautiful smile from a person who brings so much joy to the world. Can’t help but agree if you are fully engaged in loving your friends and family you are totally engaged in life.

eng9

8. Have you found a cause to sacrifice yourself into? They say it is the ultimate experience in your life. Parenthood is said to be this for many: Soul Sacrifice.

eng10

9. The Latter-day Saints base their religion on many hands engaged in a good cause> If you have ever been to Salt lake City you will never get lost as the first fifty streets around the temple are named Temple North, South , East and West.

eng11

10. I think it’s meant to be an anti-war slogan: The Universal Soldier.

eng12

11. Helen Keller definitely has the right to say this, I agree wholeheartedly.

eng13

12. Often people go and do self-development programs and get screamed out to go out and Do It Now, one big man being famous for it. Move at your own pace, its the only one you can: Piece of my Heart.

eng14

13. 7,000,000,000 unique folk battling a media who are trying to make you conform to fit a corrupted image of what it is to be human. Fight the good fight.

eng15

14. perhaps if we did this before doing it with a physical being there would not be so many of these: D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

eng16

15. There are heroes, and then there’s us, transforming the world one act at a time.

What you engage in will create your life. Think about that for a moment. Any change you want to make?

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namaste2

 

 

 

 

 

 

After the Hard Climb!!


What is the best view you have seen? I couldn’t think of a word or distinction for today so I just typed in inspirational quotes in google images and was amazed by what came up. I suppose I would count the Grand Canyon as the greatest I have seen. To see best views you have to put in an effort to get there, so let’s have a look at what quotes have inspired people in getting to their best views of life:

live1

1. They say the reaction time of elite athletes is phenomenal compared to that of the average punter on the street due to their reaction time. The average punter would not have moved by the time the target had arrived that the elite athlete manipulates so easily. 

live2

2. They say that when people pass a majority of them talk about the things they regret they did not do. That says something to me about taking as many chances as you can in your life: No Regrets.

live3

3. Often we make our lives a misery by thinking more about what we want than what we have. raise the gratitude level daily and your happiness level will increase.

live4

4. Set your controls for the heart of the sun, or the controls will set them for you and you have no idea where you may end up: Set Your Controls.

live5

5. George Bernard Shaw, known at his insistence simply as Bernard Shaw, was an Irish playwright, critic, and polemicist whose influence on Western theater, culture, and politics extended from the 1880s to his death and beyond. He wrote more than sixty plays, including major works such as Man and Superman, Pygmalion, and Saint Joan. With a range incorporating both contemporary satire and historical allegory, Shaw became the leading dramatist of his generation, and in 1925 was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature.

live6

6. Live your life to the full, remember you were destined to be: Leader of the Pack.

live7

7. Moment by moment you can take a chance in life or you can go back to what you know, but life will go on whatever you do.

live8

8. Before Enlightenment, chopping wood, after enlightenment chopping wood, one thing at a time, it’s all you can do: Step by Step.

live9

9. Exactly where you need to be even if it didn’t feel that great getting there.

live10

10. Doing a new program this week I now know about ten people I did not know before, I am a different person because of that: Changes.

live11

11. Open the lens of your life, if it’s not a great shot take another one.

live12

12. And remember to stop and smell the roses, or observe the beauty of the planet from time to time: Time after Time.

live13

13. I don’t always remember to breath when I am in my head. I have to let go to do that.

live14

14. And the best kind is a deep faith in yourself because you gotta have: Faith.

live15

15. Originality cannot be made better by rubbing it out. 

So lets Live life to the fullest so that we get to see the best views on the world.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namaste-with-light