I Trust My Intuition and Live a Courageous Life!!!


I have attended two meetings in the same room over the past three days. One was on the future of Interculturalism in our local council area, which I love and the second was on Race discrimination and racial and religious vilification which I despise to the core of my bones. At each meeting, there were different energies, one of what was possible and the other what to do when it all goes wrong. It made me think of what effect energy has on a situation and is that the primary driving factor of any situation.

My friends Marc and Angel Chernoff wrote an immensely popular blog called “30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself”, it was an instant hit. Soon they started receiving this request: “I would love to see you revisit each of these thirty principles, but instead of presenting us with a ‘to-don’t’ list, present us with a ‘to-do list’ that we can start working on today together ” Here is the list they created in response to that request:

  1. Start spending time with the right people.
  2. Start facing your problems head-on.
  3. Start being honest with yourself about everything.
  4. Start making your own happiness a priority.
  5. Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly.
  6. Start noticing and living in the present.
  7. Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you.
  8. Start being more polite to yourself.
  9. Start enjoying the things you already have.
  10. Start creating your own happiness.
  11. Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance.
  12. Start believing you’re ready for the next step.
  13. Start entering new relationships for the right reasons.
  14. Start giving new people you meet a chance.
  15. Start competing against an earlier version of yourself.
  16. Start cheering for other people’s victories.
  17. Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations.
  18. Start forgiving yourself and others.
  19. Start helping those around you.
  20. Start listening to your own inner voice.
  21. Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks.
  22. Start noticing the beauty of small moments.
  23. Start accepting things when they are less than perfect.
  24. Start working towards your goals every single day.
  25. Start being more open about how you feel.
  26. Start taking full accountability for your life.
  27. Start actively nurturing your most important relationships.
  28. Start concentrating on the things you can control.
  29. Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes.
  30. Start noticing how wealthy you are right now.

So that is a pretty awesome list, I would suggest picking a few favourites and work on those for a while, attempting all of them at once would be a case for overwhelm, methinks.

So when the world looks at positivity, what does it have to say, here we go:

posi1

1. Without providing these basic and essential ingredients don’t expect to be on the A list for very long.

posi2

2. Simply walk the talk is what this says to me: Listen to Your Heart.

posi3.png

3. Such beauty in the words. “Building a thoughtfully crafted life”.

posi4

4. As I am writing this in the Darebin Intercultural Centre I sure this is deeply profound and very positive,: Shab be oon cheshmat khab narese

posi5

5. The adage you can’t take it with you is addressed in this quote.

posi6

6. That one life has breathed easier because you have lived, a worthy task to take on: Breathing.

posi7

7. Printers don’t work if the paper is crumpled, if you stop living a positive life by burning the trust in it, you will probably attain the same result.

posi8.jpg

8. From little things big things grow: From Little Things.

posi9.jpg

9. My friend Fleassy talks about your comfort zone and your safety zones. The comfort zone is what you challenge for positive growth in your life, your safety zone is your declared boundaries, to be protected for all you are worth.

posi10.jpg

10. How about every new acquaintance in your life you greet with these words: Rise Up.

posi11.png

11. You can always get more money, but you have a finite time to live a life of positivity.

posi12

12. It is also great to remember that positive doesn’t necessarily mean neat and tidy: Messing with the Kid.

posi13.jpg

13. Works for my life essence of Curiosity. 

posi14

14. There are many different versions of positivity, pick your favourite: A Few of My Favourite Things.

posi15.png

15. And for our final lesson, I reveal the part of your body that your positivity resides in.

Right now is a miracle. Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. right now is life. So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future. Stop dwelling on what did and didn’t happen in the past. Learn to be in the “here and now” and experience life as it is happening. Appreciate the positive attributes that it holds, right now.

Today’s playlist contains Ireland’s greatest rock guitarist, and he’s not in U2, a jazz legend and a new version of one of Australia’s greatest songs. Roxette opens up, followed with a tune from Persia by Ebi Gheseye Eshgh. Then the pop diva track from Ariana Grande. John Butler, Missy Higgins and Dan Sultan rejig a great Australian anthem allowing the sultry tones of Andra Day to lead in the rocking guitar of Rory Gallagher. We finish with the majestic notes of John Coltrane Live: I Trust My Intuition and Live a Courageous Life!!!

In the meeting about the Intercultural Centre, it was grand to see up to 10 different cultures being positive together. It gives me hope that there is a future for ny ethos of Interculturalism: Love and Respect For All, Everybody Included. If you enjoy reading this ode to possibility register yourself to receive future blogs in the space on the right-hand side. Namaste until we meet again, my dear friends.

posi16

You Are Not Alone In This!!!


I went to a local council meeting today to support a group who had been defunded, there was a lot of anger in the room. One group called the other racist for doing it, and there were allegations flying everywhere. I left as it did not seem to be serving many purposes, the decision to not defund them was watered down to a prissy offering of looking at other means of funding them. So it appears they must use the energy of their anger to fight the next battle.

So anger, what is its purpose and is it very useful in today’s world? Marc Chernoff writes about it as follows:

WHEN SOMEONE UPSETS us, It’s often because they aren’t behaving according to our fantasy of how they “should” behave. The frustration, then, stems not from their behaviour differs from our expectations. This is a moment for looking within.

You can’t control how other people behave. You can’t control everything that happens to you. What you can control is how you respond to it all. Your power lies in your response. Let’s practice together…

  1. Get comfortable with pausing.
  2. Respect people’s differences.
  3. Be compassionate
  4. Extend generosity and grace.
  5. Don’t take people’s behaviour personally.
  6. Talk less and learn to appreciate silence.
  7. Create a morning ritual that starts your day off right.
  8. Cope using healthy choices and alternatives
  9. Remind yourself of what’s right, and create more of it in the world.

What has the world written about the power that Anger has over us, here are a few of my favourites:

anger1

1. I wouldn’t suggest telling someone they are being stupid if they make you angry, that would mean there would then be two angry people in the room.

anger2

2. Known for his satirical wit and sardonic view of human nature, Ambrose Bierce earned the nickname “Bitter Bierce.” His mocking cynicism is on full display in The Devil’s Dictionary, a work that originally appeared under the title The Cynic’s Word Book. … As a short story writer, Bierce gave us many treasures: No Regrets.

anger3

3. Ralph points out simple homegrown logic in a lot of his quotes, check out this classic.

anger4

4. They say it is better to reclaim the anger than have it reclaim us by being blurted out all of a sudden: Just Give Me a Reason.

anger5

5. In the development work I do, we speak of the immature feminine and masculine, and the mature feminine and masculine. Guess in which fields an insecure personality would hang around in?

anger6

6. Anger doesn’t tend to hang around in the field of contentment: Going Through Changes.

anger7

7. The cardigan-wearing one points out what lies within when we are angry.

anger8

8. From the 16th Century, noted English poet Alexander Pope talks about anger being revenge on oneself: Smells Like Teen Spirit.

anger9

9. Duck!!!

anger10

10. Not a good anxiety practice, going to bed angry: Fight for the Right.

anger11

11. Fark!!!!

anger12

12. From the man who found enlightenment under the Bodhi tree, why holding onto anger is so toxic: Burning Down The House.

anger13

13. Commonly known as a foot in mouth disease.

anger14

14. It’s the old one finger pointing forward, three backwards routine: Lithium.

anger15

15. The final lesson is that anger is just as important to deal with as all the other things we feel.

Everybody gets upset and loses their temper sometimes. Remind yourself that we are all more alike than we are different. When you catch yourself being angry with someone, add “just like me sometimes” Choose to let things go. Let others off the hook. Take the high road today.

Today’s playlist is anthem clad. From the 60s we begin with The Walker Brothers followed by some angst from Pink. My favourite white rapper Eminem is next, then the first of two Nirvana entries. A unique version of The Beastie Boys biggest hit will test your mettle. Talking Heads second last then back to Nirvana to finish off this great rocking playlist: You are not alone in This.

So the world does not say anger is bad all the time, I believe I need some to get my ethos, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included to triumph over the current world conversation. Remember if you like these blogs of mine sign up to have them in your inbox on the day of creation. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

anger16

 

Never Accept The Definition of Life From Others!!!


I am going through a 21-day process called Integrity and the Power of Habit via the Warriors of Love year-long training program I am in. Each week has a list of core principles, for week one they are as follows in the area of Integrity :

  1. Live from Embodies Essence.
  2. The Power of Declaration from Essence.
  3. Integrity – Do what you say you will do.
  4. With Integrity Comes Power.
  5. Write It Down – Put it in time.
  6. When Integrity falls out, we create distance.

For each of us, these principles will bring up different shadows where we could improve said integrity. I immediately noticed for me it was how I spend my mornings. I have watched ABC News Breakfast for at least an hour for the past five years. My friend Brian Johnson from Optimize, the best ten dollars you can spend on the internet: The link to Brian’s World. states that we are at our most refreshed first thing in the mornings . after we have rested our body.

So the TV is now turned off and I go for a half-hour walk wearing my absolutely fantastic Beats Bluetooth headphones listening to my morning meditation.

What do others say about the morning and how empowering it is when used to its full benefits, let’s have a look.

morn1

1. My Tibetan Buddhist school referred to him as Shakyamuni Buddha. This is about living in the present.

morn2.jpeg

2. One is not the loneliest number sometimes: One.

morn3

3. A bit out of integrity with the spelling but a great message.

morn4.jpeg

4. My life ethos is Love and Respect for all, Everyone Included so I cannot agree with this: One Love.

morn5

5. Celebrations, Challenges and Commitments are what we look at in the group.

morn6

6. Word Magic: Try.

morn7

7. And hopefully we all have one of these, and if we don’t, they are out there, you just have not found each other yet.

morn8

8. Refer to the Blog title…: Born This Way.

morn9

9. Is this a tautology, even if it’s not, it’s clever.

morn10

10. From the worlds most popular philosopher, Ms Unknown, the reason why early to bed, early to rise is such a great idea: Live It Up.

morn11

11. From the early and mid-1800s, Ralph speaks of the benefits the mornings offer.

morn12.jpeg

12. Life is a Blessing, a powerful mantra to live life by: Blessed We Are.

morn13

13. And is all across the planet.

morn14.jpeg

14. Cute cat photo of the blog: Moving On Up.

morn15.jpeg

15. And for our final lesson, there are 7 billion different ways to relate to these principles.

Today’s list from Marc and Angel Chernoff is entitled: 10 WAYS Successful people START Their Mornings:

  1. Get an Early Start.
  2. Clarify and Review Your Priorities.
  3. Prune any nonessential commitments for the day.
  4. Exercise.
  5. Eat a Healthy Breakfast.
  6. Kiss your partner good-bye.
  7. Practice 15 minutes of positive visualisation.
  8. Eat That Frog.
  9. Connect with the Right People.
  10. Stay Informed.

Today’s playlist educated me, I did not know that one of Australia’s musical icons went as far back as the sixties, but there you go. We begin with John Farnham and Bob Marley from the last century. Pink and Lady Gaga returns us to this one. Another Australian number one from Mental As Anything. Then a fantastic singalong from Peia, and we complete with some R and B from M People: Never Accept The Definition of Life From Others!!!

So here is to walking to my nearby lake in Rezza, aka Reservoir each morning. Showing myself Love and Respect For All, Everybody Included. Remember if you enjoy the subject matter of my blog, sign up on the right-hand side on the homepage. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

morn16.jpeg

Painting is just another way of keeping a Diary!!!


I . have just begun journalling again after a break of several years. I was in North Fitzroy Library yesterday when I saw the book: Creative Journal Writing – The art and heart of reflection on the shelves: Get it Here, Free Shipping… I could not resist even though I have three other books on the go at the moment. The following . review sums it up pretty well from my 3 hours reading:

Winner of the COVR Award for Book of the Year (2007) From the #1 creativity publisher in the country comes to our latest creativity bestseller–Creative Journal Writing–the ultimate book for those who are looking to use this powerful tool to heal, expand, and transform their lives. In this exceptionally positive and encouraging book, Stephanie Dowrick frees the journal writer she believes is in virtually everyone, showing through stories and examples that a genuine sense of possibility can be revived on every page. Creative journal writing goes way beyond just recording events on paper. It can be the companion that supports but doesn’t judge, a place of unparalleled discovery, and a creative playground where the everyday rules no longer count. Proven benefits of journal writing include reduced stress and anxiety, increased self-awareness, sharpened mental skills, genuine psychological insight, creative inspiration and motivation, strengthened ability to cope during difficult times, and overall physical and emotional well-being. Combining a rich choice of ideas with wonderful stories, quotes, and her refreshingly intimate thoughts gained through a lifetime of writing, Dowrick’s insights and confidence make journal writing irresistible? and your own life more enchanting. Included in Creative Journal Writing are stories of how people have used journal writing to transform their lives; – inspirational instructions, guidelines, and quotes;
– key principles, practical suggestions, and helpful hints;
– 125 starter topics, designed to help even the most reluctant journal writer;
– more than forty powerful exercises;
– and much more!

Starting to read it has made me think of the different ways I have journaled over the years. The most obscure was probably a period of time I attended Saturday afternoon art lessons in Brunswick for a year, the entry being a bottle of red as Miklos was a lover of the wee drop. I have used Julia Cameron’s methodology for several years: Morning Pages., attended Catherine Deveny’s superb Gunna’s Writing Workshops: This is what started my blog writing career. Another art experience was my dear friend Jac Price’s fantastic Creative Meditations Practice: Meditative Art. At the moment I am faithfully doing Danielle LaPorte’s Daily Planner, a short sharp precise journal of what you are committing to for the day, what you are grateful for, what isn’t working, what you should stop and a daily meditation are included, I also write a daily love meme and post it on my Facebook page: 5 years and counting, one of the original users.

So what do people say about journaling or what do they write that ends up as a quote, there are some beauties:

jor1

1. For some people they love quotes, I admit to this fetish.

jor2

2. We go back to the 17th century for this piece of sage wisdom from one of the founding fathers of the United States: A Song For You.

jor3

3. Or then you can journal new possibilities in your life.

jor4

4. Journal well, my friends: It Was a Good Day.

jor5

 

5. Journalling on these days will help you snap out of it quicker, remember, the shadow and the light both need some loving.

jor6

6. George was a Republican, he spoke in favour of African-American equality and civil rights. Something the current mob seem to have forgotten: It’s My Life.

jor7.jpeg

7. Did MLK keep a journal, they would be a great read.

jor8

8. Envision greatness, why not: The Greatest.

jor9

9. One of life’s great mysteries, creating your life with the written word.

jor10

10. A save your personal planet kind of space: Earth.

jor11

11. When putting the words on the page, don’t forget to water your soul.

jor12

12. And from one of the most famous of those who journal, why we do it.: You Only Live Twice.

jor13

13. Love this definition of writing.

jor14

14. I actually do a celebration, challenges, commitment practice: Life Is Worth Living.

jor15

15. And we finish with a lesson from the world’s most famous journal writer.

Stephanie makes some suggestions, lets finish with those:

  1. A routine for your journal writing supports what you are doing. It also keeps you on track. It isn’t essential to write every day, but writing most days does really make a difference.
  2. Sit somewhere to write that feels really good to you. Let go both physically and mentally before you begin to write.
  3. Whenever you feel flat or ‘stuck’, describe that state of mind in your journal. Be a scientific observer of your own condition. (‘I kept writing in circles, just commenting on that, then suddenly I took off against all my expectations…’)
  4. Go against the current tide that tells you ‘instant is best’ That’s only sometimes true in journal writing. Here you can be both tortoise and hare.
  5. ‘Forget what you wrote yesterday. Practise coming into this day, freshly. Bring to your journal writing your capacity to be present in the moment – even when you are writing about the past.
  6. Are your expectations high enough? Do you feel like trying something that you are at present? Taking greater risks with language or subject matter or point of view? Looking more attentively at what you might be avoiding?
  7. Concentrating mostly on ‘thoughts’? If so, look at the feelings associated with whatever topic you are writing about. If you have written a lot about your feelings, take some time to review your thoughts. Or to be a little more analytical and detached than usual. Or look at these feelings themselves somewhat dispassionately. What do you think about those feelings? How precise are they? Are they your familiar repertoire? Could you think about your feelings with great subtlety?
  8. Notice with interest where you might be limiting yourself. What are you telling yourself that you can’t afford to notice, feel or write about?
  9. Notice with interest what’s exciting you about the journal writing process. Let yourself be surprised.

We cover 50 years in today’s playlist. Beginning in the 1970s with Leon Russell and Friends, then forward a bit with Ice Cube. Then to last decade with No Doubt and finally to today with Sia and Little Dicky. The penultimate number returns to the 70s with Nancy Sinatra and then forward in time for the last number with Justin Bieber: Painting Is Just Another Way of Keeping a Diary!!!

The more I journal, the closer I get to achieving Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Remember if you like reading my blogs to put your name on the email list on the dropbox on the right. Until we meet again my dear friends.

jor16

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In Praise of the Women and Men of DE, Sensual sisters to the Core.


OK, I admit I am a DE sister in a male body, and I love the distinctions of this magnificent portal in life.

My friend and mentor Arion Light recently wrote an epic article praising it, Here is some of what he said:

For me, this is medicine our disconnected culture so desperately needs. A return to an honour of the beauty of the feminine. I feel, as do many of you I’m sure, our disconnection from our deep love within is at the heart of our insatiable need for stuff and distraction. When we truly see ‘her’ beauty all we can do is bow and give our lives to celebrate and serve her.
I really get it’s not the ‘only’ answer. Clearly, this reverence for love, women, earth and simplicity has to turn to action if we are to make the cultural shift that many of us hunger for. Yet this is a portal to initiating women, men and all beings to know this wild dark love in themselves, and that has to be a very central step to the revolution we need to survive.

There are five archetypes studied, The Erotic Mother, The Wild Women, The Slut, The Maiden and the Priestess over either an intense week or an eight-week evening format. The way you look at life and the human beings in it are transformed forever.

Given this is relatively new work, just seven years young, how did the world speak about female archetypes prior to this, lets walk down that path:

fem1

1. Sisters, do we run with the wolves?

fem2

2. Spell time methinks: For Love of Woman.

fem3

3. Could be the DE sister to-do list.

fem4

4. This work clearly heals the participant’s relationships with their ancestors: Familiar.

fem5

5. You enter many doors over the times, and you come out the other side, some easier than others.

fem6

6. Lucy rocks: Tantric Shamanic Dance Journey.

fem7

7. You get the opportunity to enquire into your relationship to the naked body if you wish.

fem8

8. Fuck Off: Closer.

fem9

9. Mrs POTUS, did she pass the test?

fem10

10. Take the risk, sisters: Last Stand.

fem11

11. Shadow and Light, they travel together and both are as necessary as each other.

fem12

12. It was some brave male sisters who kept requesting who saw this work became available for he’s as well as she’s: Good For You.

fem13

13. A drop of free water, magnificent line.

fem14

14. And from the lesser-known member of the Gates partnership, comes this powerful quote: Touch.

fem15.jpeg

15. And our final lesson comes from Lord of The Rings. Haldir was an Elf of Lothlórien, probably a Silvan Elf, and a march warden who guarded the forest’s northern borders. When the Fellowship of the Ring arrived in Lórien, he became their guide to Caras Galadhon. He and his companions are described as wearing grey hooded cloaks and residing on platforms or flets. Underlying all is Love.

This is Arion’s final wish in his news feed article about the work and its courses, May they fill with people and may we all grow an inner and outer love that brings a revolution of deep love and healthy power throughout the fabric of our worlds. I second the motion.

Today’s playlist comes from one of the Dancing Eros playlists I created from existing Spotify lists that began with the Dancing Eros titles. See, I much prefer visual to the audio, there are some damn sexy videos in the lists. If you put in Dancing Eros in the Youtube search engine you will find a few. The first track comes from Perequios, then Agnes Obel which is followed by a momentous track from Leyolah Antara. Two men follow, NIne Inch Nails and Kwabs. The penultimate track is from Selena Gomez and we finish with Holy Other: In Praise Of.

If this amazing work could spread across the planet, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included would happen sooner than later, methinks. Remember if you like these blogs register to receive them in your inbox on the right-hand side. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

fem16

 

 

At Our Core, We Are Love And Light!!!


I will begin today’s blog with two paragraphs from Brene Brown’s unknown tome I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) on that verboten subject, Shame. The chapter it is form is entitled Practicing Compassion in a Culture of Blame: Get It Here, Great Read.

“This is YOUR fault! This is all MY fault! You’re to blame. I’m to blame. We are a culture obsessed with finding fault and assigning blame. Holding ourselves or others accountable is a good thing, but blame and accountability are very different. I think the difference between accountability and blame is very similar to the relationship between guilt and shame> Like guilt, accountability is most often motivated by the desire to repair and renew – it is holding someone responsible for their actions and the consequences of their actions.

On the other hand, we often use blame to discharge over=whelming feelings of fear and shame: “This is painful – who can I blame? I’ll blame you! You are bad and this is your fault.” Inherent in holding ourselves or others accountable for our behaviour is expecting change or resolution. Like shame, blame shuts us down and it is not an effective tool for change.

So what is the opposite behaviour we could utilise, we travel to the land of Nepal and visit one of the greatest human beings, His Holiness, The Dalai Lama. This is the person that instantly comes to mind when the words and actions of compassion are uttered. Mind you I was a practising Tibetan Buddhist for Eight years and lead 4 hours of calm abiding meditation and diety practice for five years every Sunday.

So what has the world said about practising compassion over the journey. Here are a few of HHDL comments and the rest:

comp1

1. His most famous quote on the subject, by a long way. Features across the planet.

comp2

2. Got to love this acronym C.A.R.E, replace God with your favourite entity, for me it is Gaia: Unstoppable.

comp3

3. Looks like old school crayon writing, but what a question.

comp4

4. What is your Bodhi tree: True Power.

comp5

5. This powerful image says it all really, no comment.

comp6

6. Some world leaders have forgotten this: Killing In The Name Of.

comp7

7. Jack Kornfield trained as a Buddhist monk in the monasteries of Thailand, India and Burma. He has taught meditation internationally since 1974 and is one of the key teachers to introduce Buddhist mindfulness practice to the West.

comp8

8. Life a simple life, his Holiness rocks: Who You Really Are.

comp9

9. The first step, Self Love 101.

comp10

10. Repeat after me, we are not alone: Is This Love. 

comp11

11. Why this, I just loved this image.

comp12

12. A bit difficult to read for us bespectacled folk, but very insightful: Morning Has Broken.

comp13

13. Pick it up in your hands and offer it, love.

comp14

14: We are one day away from the worldwide school strike for the climate crisis, One of my slogans best describes this event: It’s Up To Us, Because We Can, It’s Our Time: Big Yellow Taxi.

comp15

15. And for our final lesson, we go to the good old USA, American-born multi-genre author Aberjhani (born July 8, 1957, in Savannah, Georgia) is a historian, columnist, novelist, poet, artist, and editor. Although well known for his blog articles on literature and politics, he is perhaps best known as the co-author of Encyclopedia of the Harlem Renaissance and author of The River of Winged Dreams. The encyclopedia won a Choice Academic Title Award in 2004.

I will finish with some comments from the interviews Brene did in relation to shame:

  1. “She’s Chinese or something – you know, she’s smart.”
  2. “She’s Indian, They’re super rude like that.
  3. “She’s so closed-minded – I can’t stand old people.”
  4. ” I think she’s like that because she was raped a couple of years ago.”
  5. “It won’t hurt her feelings- She’s the sweet grandma type.”
  6. “I don’t think she’s mad, she’s just got that whole angry black thing going on.”
  7. “Her boyfriend is from Pakistan – she’s probably not allowed to go out.”

How would you answer the questions that had these type of answers occur?

Our playlist today contains some classic tunes and if I don’t say so myself, the best obscure track so far. We start with Sia, then the unknown Emily Ebert, great song. One of the great rock anthems from Rage Against the Machine is next. We then enter the spiritual world with a tune from Kirtana. We go back a century for the last three numbers. Bob Marley, Cat Stevens and Joni Mitchell end this beautiful playlist: At Our Core, We Are Love and Light!!!

So, we have discussed our penchant to blame when life becomes hard and the compassion practised by His Holiness.  One of Brene’s lines sums up the choice for me: – it is holding someone responsible for their actions and the consequences of their actions. To me, compassion allows for this, and blame does not. It behoves us to walk alongside Love and Respect For All, Everybody Included. Until next time, my dear friends. If you are enjoying reading these blogs of mine, sign on to receive them in your inbox on the right-hand side of the blog.

comp16

 

 

 

It’s About Breaking Down The Walls


I am starting to get a lot of information in my Facebook news feed as to what makes a man a real man, I was in my local library the other day when I saw the updated version of Steve Biddulph’s visionary book Manhood first released in 1998, now called the New Manhood: Love, Freedom, Spirit and the New Masculinity and re-released in 2015. I discovered a review of the book which sums how I see the situation, written by a phycologist named Katja:

Just reading the first ten pages of this book will probably be enough to leave you in no doubt – we in the Western world have a serious problem with men. Lonely, frustrated, confused, unhappy men. Men who can’t express their emotions and either numb them or channel them in negative and violent ways towards women, children, and other men. Men whose identities are tied up in their careers, because they never learned that there were any other options. Men whose fathers were authoritarian, cold, distant, abusive, or absent, and who are perpetuating those same patterns in their own families. Particularly affecting is the section in which Biddulph explores where we as a society got our modern conception of “manliness” – and where, frankly, it all started to go wrong. If this book impresses upon you one message, it is that our concept of manhood has become warped, constricted, deranged – and is in desperate need of re-evaluation. The fact that this is just as much the case as 20 years ago when it was written is extremely worrying. Biddulph doesn’t mince words – he cuts straight to the point and tells it like it is, succinctly but deeply exploring the problems of modern manhood, with a writing style that is refreshing and at times devastatingly emotional. So much so that the friend who lent it to me said that it made him cry – and if you think there’s anything wrong with that, then this book is for you in particular! Here is a link to the book: The New Manhood.

All over the world movements are arising to shift this, in my hometown, Melbourne we have one-day events called Isle of Men and a three-day retreat called Menergy, they are for men to attend to become a better man for themselves, their partners, their children, their families and their friends. So what has the world said about masculinity over the years, let’s take that journey:

masc1

1. Withholding causes emotional and physical pain on an ongoing basis.

masc2

2. Little Boxes, Little Boxes all in a row: Mask Off.

masc3

3. What one could call living a complete life, not ignoring the hard parts.

masc4

4. Wrong-way, go back: A Woman’s Worth.

masc5

5. Boom!!!

masc6

6. The shadow and the light, Its all part of the deal: Shadow of The Day.

masc7

7. If this irritates you, its time to begin the journey.

masc8

8. The journey from the mind to the heart and back again – a great start: Jar of Hearts.

masc9

9. I am 65, I only learnt this in my last five years, it is very freeing.

masc10

10. Both M and F words, but they have totally different meanings and distinctions attached to them: Breaking Free.

masc11

11. Repeat after me, It is not given to you.

masc12

12. The film industry has a lot to answer for: Gangsta’s Paradise.

masc13

13. Because I can.

masc14

14. Fuck, this is good: In My Feelings.

masc15

15. And for our final lesson in masculinity, who is the greatest victim, time to go and look in your mirror.

Each chapter has a quote at the beginning, I thought I would finish with a few:

You and your father: Oh will you never return to see, your bruised and battered sons? Oh, I would, I would, if welcome I were for they loathe me everyone – Traditional Folk Song.

Real Sex: Slowly, Slowly in bed with a woman, I am learning to be human – Jesse Kornbluth

From Boy to Man: Between childhood, boyhood, adolescence and manhood there should be sharp lines drawn with tests, feats, rites, stories, songs and judgements – Jim Morrison.

You would think a playlist about masculinity would be all men lamenting on the subject, not so. There is quite a bit of rap though. We begin with Future who is followed by Alicia Keys. Linkin Park gets quite dark next then Christina Perri and Ruby Rose have their say. Back to rap to finish with Coolio and Drake: It’s about breaking down the Walls.

In the steps forward I have seen in the men’s movement in my country I hold great hope for my ethos: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until we meet again my dear friends.

Power 6