A Relationship Is Like A House!!


Shit, I forgot to do my Thursday blog, sorry if you rely on it for your morning coffee break but I been having such a great time lately it slipped my mind. This morning I am feeling joyful after attending my friend Cat’s awesome graduation for the process she created called the Cor Method. Here’s the link, travel to Melbourne for eight weeks, it’s worth it: Link To A New Life.

I have been to both graduations and often find myself moved to tears by the amount of heart the participants reveal to their families and friends. From singing to dancing to spoken word each is creative in their own way, all speaking from the heart.

So what has the people of planet Earth said about opening one’s heart to the people in your life, let’s have a look:

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1. Many of the participants spoke of the negative stuff their mind was saying to them, but then their hearts took over, superb!!

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2. I prefer the former, hate has never resolved anything for me: Love and Hate.

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3. Gangaji currently writes and tours as a teacher. She holds that the truth of who you are is already free and at peace, which can be realized simply by ending one’s search.

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4. The course definitely allows more space for this: Love Myself.

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5. Maya loves the Cor Process too.

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6. Lots of famous people know the power that is contained in the heart: So Much Magnificence.

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7. Having revealed their hearts to the people they love, the participants need not worry about the former.

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8. You could palpably feel the hearts cracking open last night: Hallelujah.

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9. When you reveal all of what is in your heart some of this may happen.

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10. The eyes have it every time, for me: Bette Davis Eyes.

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11. How old is your Inner Child and does She/He still enjoy play?

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12. You know where it is hanging out, Go there: Yogi B Truth Hurtz.

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13. And how could I leave out the Persian poets?

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14. Why Cat is such a heroine in having created this bundle of transformation work: Always Look On The Bright Side of Life.

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15. The final lesson for today, Is a life without mistakes a real life?

I must acknowledge how I got to know Cat was through her delightful partner Ryan McRobb, through many connections. They give me hope as to what a joyful relationship could be like.

Today’s playlist has some long live tracks, I prefer live tracks to those from the studio, it’s more real. Using 7 artists in each blog and having done over 450 blogs you discover new artists all the time, we begin with one of them, Michael Kiwanuka, then one of my standard songs about self-love by Hailee Steinfeld. Then two great live tracks by Deva and Miten and Jeff Buckley. For a song about eyes, there is only one choice, Kim Carnes. The heart has to have some Bollywood so Vassan is next, and for some silliness, we complete with Eric Idle: A Relationship is Like A House.

In my heart lies the expression: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Come for holidays in Melbourne and do the next course, we have some ace B and B’s here. Till we meet again, my dear friends.

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I Woke Up, I Have Clothes To Wear!!


One of my friend’s Passions is turning One, Nicole Gibson’s movement Love out Loud turned One yesterday, and she is offering all of her products at half price on the world’s special day for love, Valentines Day: Nicoles Offer.

Nicole has written a beautiful book called a matter of factly Love Out Loud so in honour of this special day I picked up the book and opened it to a page, so today we will be looking at the value of gratitude, Chapter 8 for when you buy this excellent book. Nicole states that “A big part of creating a gratitude practice for yourself is the understanding that gratitude is about honouring what has been normalised in your life, so that it may be sustained. “

I am also a big fan of Danielle LaPorte’s Daily Planner which has you write one thing you are grateful for each morning. So what has the world had to say about being grateful as it travels along the timeline, here are a few of my favourites:

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1. Many song titles amongst this little gem.

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2. Happy Birthday, Nicole, let’s Love Out Loud: Happy Birthday, Mr President.

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3. Perfectionism, otherwise known as the booby prize when it comes to commencing fulfilling your dreams.

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4. I live in Australia, that puts me in the top one per cent of the planet for privileges, for that, I will be eternally grateful: Dirty Laundry.

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5. There are times that I haven’t found it easy to think this, but with the journey comes the shadow and the light.

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6. What colour is your favourite cup, mine is sky blue: Running on Empty.

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7. I like the theory we are all starseed, it makes it so much easier to love everything and everybody out loud.

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8. As you walk out your front door be very grateful, not everyone gets to do this: Home.

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9. The past has gone, the future is yet to occur, all we have is Today.

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10. Yes, You and You and You: Thank You For The Music.

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11. We have the choice to begin anew each and every moment, although some days it may feel impossible.

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12. Big Tony has his say: Diva.

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13, Jessye is recognised as one of the worlds great Mezzo Soprano’s, daughter of an Insurance Salesman and a school teacher, she discovered opera after her parents gave her a radio on her 9th birthday opening her horizons, where she discovered the world of opera, that she Loved Out Loud.

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14. It’s such a perfect day, I’m glad I spent it with You: Perfect Day.

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15. And for our final lesson, we hear from Marilyn’s birthday boy.

So back to Nicole to finish off:

Gratitude is a Practice.

For something to become a habit, the brain relies on repetitive action. It takes approximately twelve weeks to form any type of behavioural habit that strengthens neural pathways so that the brain will begin automatically commanding this behaviour. I highly recommend beginning a gratitude practice daily; at the same time, each day. Again, a ritual is deeply embedded in who we are, and to become ritualistic in your practices will ensure the deep integration of the behaviours that lead a life of loving out loud.

Journal It, write it in your diary, start a daily gratitude jar, speak it out loud to the mirror, there are many ways to do it, choose one that turns you on and has you Love Out Loud.

Actresses and Opera Singers feature in today’s playlist. We begin with Marilyn Monroe, then take it to the limit with The Eagles. Jackson Browne is next, Then the oddly named Edward Sharpe and the Magnificent Zeros. A singalong with Abba, a pop diva number from Beyonce and we finish with a duet from Lou Reed and Luciano Pavarotti: I Woke Up, I Have Clothes To Wear.

Part of my Loving Out Loud is to spread the ethos of Love and Respect For All, Everyone Included in all of my actions. Join me in this until we meet again my dear friends.

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Make Your Life Simple But Significant!!


Someday life seems so complicated, yet other days we are in total flow: What is the difference? My friend Marc Chernoff suggests that there are things we should cease doing so we have more days of the latter. Here are Marc’s ideas:

  1. Stop berating yourself for being a work in progress.
  2. Stop doing immoral things just because you can.
  3. Stop meaning what you don’t say.
  4. Stop wasting time and money trying to acquire more of everything.
  5. Stop spending time with negative people.
  6. Stop trying to change people.
  7. Stop being lazy and cutting corners.
  8. Stop procrastinating,
  9. Stop worrying and complaining.
  10. Stop being dramatic.
  11. Stop trying to be everything to everyone.
  12. Stop making promises you can’t keep.
  13. Stop blaming others.
  14. Stop reacting without a plan.
  15. Stop confusing being busy with being productive.
  16. Stop over-committing and trying to do too much at once.
  17. Stop being inefficient simply because you’ve always done it that way.
  18. Stop cluttering your space.
  19. Stop overloading your mind by consuming useless information.
  20. Stop obsessing over the past and the future.
  21. Stop waiting for things to be perfect.
  22. Stop focussing so much energy on trying to avoid mistakes.
  23. Stop making emotional decisions.
  24. Stop being unhealthy.
  25. Stop holding onto intimate relationships that make you unhappy.
  26. Stop holding onto hate.
  27. Stop pretending like you know everything.
  28. Stop giving what you don’t want to receive.

Deep down in our hearts, we know these things would be good for us if we took them on. I wouldn’t recommend taking more than a few at a time, there is that adage new habits take 21 days to cement in place.

How far back does the advice on living life with ease go? Let’s have a look:

 

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1. Apparently, a long way: here is some wisdom on the subject from Confucius, who lived in China in the Fifth Century B.C.

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2. Time in nature is such a decluttering of the mind: Medicine.

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3. Some people prefer to complicate their life and even die before they make the changes that will benefit them.

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4. Physically steps are always forward, metaphorically, I am not so sure: Neon Blue.

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5. And then there is always an act of service.

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6. Are Kiss really a rock group on an acronym for a life less complicated: I was made for Loving You.

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7. Within the framework of his science-fiction stories, Heinlein repeatedly addressed certain social themes: the importance of individual liberty and self-reliance, the obligation individuals owe to their societies, the influence of organized religion on culture and government, and the tendency of society to repress nonconformist thought. He also speculated on the influence of space travel on human cultural practices.

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8. Self-explanatory really, each sunrise brings a new beginning if we are willing: A New Day Has Come.

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9. Start learning from your mistakes. Smile, then move on.

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10, Nike!!: Beat It.

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11. Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included.

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12. To turn left or right at the intersection, either way, It could profoundly change your life: Thinking Out Loud.

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13, Mini de complication list.

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14, Less complicated does not mean easy to do, they are entirely different things: It’s Not Easy,

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15, Finally, a reminder to surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be:, they are totally on your side.

What could you do to make your days less complicated, I’m sure there is something in this list that could empower you to live a less cluttered life, physically and mentally, go forward and try some on.

Today’s playlist contains some of the music industry heavies. We begin with the newbies, Queen Naija and Steps. Then four monoliths – Kiss, Celine Dion, Michael Jackson and Ed Sheeran. We finish with a visit to the African continent with Lucky Dube: Make Your Life Simple But Significant.

A way I find to not complicate my life is to show Love and Respect to All, Everyone Included. Best wishes until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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When It Hurts, Observe!!


Have you thought about what areas you have personally developed yourself in in 2018? For me, it has been in the areas of Expanding the Box of my Consciousness and Sexuality. Here are some statements about what may stop you from Personal Development by Marc Chernoff:

  1. The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing.
  2. Growing happens when what you know changes how you live.
  3. It’s not so much about finding opportunities as it is about creating them.
  4. No matter How Smart You Are, You Will make Mistakes.
  5. A good idea without action is nothing at all.
  6. What we don’t start Today, Won’t be finished Tomorrow.
  7. If you keep doing what you’re doing, You’ll keep getting what you’re getting.
  8. There is a lesson in everything you do, and learning the lesson is how you move forward.
  9. The Harder you work, The luckier you will Become.
  10. Nobody succeeds all by themselves.
  11. Being busy and being productive are two different things.
  12. Being successful is a journey, not a destination.
  13. Tough Times don’t last, but Tough People do.
  14. Having a plan, Even a flawed one at first is better than no plan at all.
  15. It’s uncomfortable to challenge the Status Quo, But it’s worth it.
  16. Lots of successful people have failed as many times as they have succeeded.

I like the saying by Mae West: You Only Live Once, But If You Do It Right, Once Is Enough. Apologies to the Reincarnationists amongst my readers. Let’s have a look at how society views Personal Development:

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1. Open that heart up the whole way.

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2. Remember you grow the longer you are on the journey: Don’t Look Back In Anger.

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3. But remember to find others to play with.

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4. Another way of saying it is get rid of these toxic people out of your life as soon as possible: One Day.

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5. And they say it in every language across the planet.

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6. And what would a blog on Personal Development be without a little Brene Brown: I’m Not The Only One.

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7. And from the man in the cardigan, comes the theory of madness.

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8. And to do this we need to keep our eyes, mind and heart wide open at all times: Boo’d Up.

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9. And of course, we need some Steve Covey.

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10. Time to put down that book you know so well, and start your brand new life: Feeling Good.

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11. Smile for the camera, it can even be a selfie.

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12. Hermann Karl Hesse was a German-born poet, novelist, and painter. His best-known works include DemianSteppenwolfSiddhartha, and The Glass Bead Game, each of which explores an individual’s search for authenticity, self-knowledge and spirituality. In 1946, he received the Nobel Prize in Literature.: Be Yourself.

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13. Herman was quite prolific on the subject.

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14. Don’t try and logically make your development fit in, after all, it is your unique offering: The Eyes of Truth.

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15. And here is an opportunity to take your own marriage vows.

If we can find the patience to see the world for what it is – dynamic, flexible and loaded with untapped potential – and if we can  accept the fact  that change is an inevitable and brilliant part of life, then we can partake in the thrill of progression, and help shape a world in which the impossible becomes possible.

Two oldies and quite a few people I have not heard of inhabit the Playlist today, we begin with Oasis, then Matisyahu. The crooner Sam Smith follows, then three new to me: Ella Mai, Avicii and Peruquios, finishing up with Enigma: When It Hurts, Observe!!

Spread Love and Respect For All, Everyone included with those you interact in this holiday time:

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Yes, Life is Tough but You are Tougher!!


Nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, someone they need, or something they thought was meant to be. But it is these losses that make us stronger and eventually move us toward future opportunities for growth and happiness.

I really like Marc Chernoff’s list: 40 lessons for finding strength in hard times, here they are:

  1. You are not what happened to you in the past.
  2. Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
  3. Struggling with problems is a natural way of growing.
  4. It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.
  5. Life is fragile, sudden,  and shorter than it often seems.
  6. You will fail sometimes.
  7. You have the capacity to create your own happiness.
  8. Emotionally separate yourself from your problems.
  9. Don’t make a problem bigger than it is.
  10. Everything that happened is a life lesson.
  11. View every challenge as an educational assignment.
  12. Things change, but the sun always rises the next day.
  13. Giving up and moving on are two very different things.
  14. Distance yourself from negative people.
  15. Perfect relationships don’t exist.
  16. You must love yourself too.
  17. Don’t let others make decisions for you.
  18. Resentment hurts you, not them.
  19. You’re not alone. Everyone has problems.
  20. You still have a lot to be thankful for.
  21. Consciously nurture your inner hope.
  22. It’s better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie.
  23. It’s hard to tell how close you are to success.
  24. Not getting what you want can be a blessing.
  25. Laughter is the best medicine to stress.
  26. Mistakes are important to make.
  27. Worrying is literally a waste of energy.
  28. Even when it’s hard to move, take small steps forward.
  29. There will always be people who dislike you.
  30. You are better off without some people you thought you needed.
  31. You can’t control everything that happens to you.
  32. You are only competing against yourself.
  33. Life is not Easy.
  34. Your future is spotless.
  35. You are not trapped; you just need to re-learn a few things.
  36. Everything in life is two-sided.
  37. You always have a choice.
  38. Let others in when you’re in a dark place.
  39. If you ask negative questions, you will get negative answers.
  40. The end is a new beginning.

How does the world recommend you move forward in hard times, let’s take that journey:

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1. The answers are not out there, you are looking in the wrong place if you are seeking the solution from others.

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2. Love truthfully and unconditionally, a worthwhile life to lead: Soul Kinda Feeling.

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3. I survived after five years of mental health crises, that was my true inner strength speaking.

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4. And then there are times you use your inner strength in service of others: Praise You.

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5. From the founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund points us towards where our strengths come from.

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6. You are the creation of your experiences: You Get What You Give.

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7. And then there is meditation.

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8. And then your Inner Pilot Light is always on your side: Don’t Stop Believing.

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9. My friend Em took me in my troubled waters recently, my trust in myself was totally cleansed.

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10, And from a singer of both types of music, Sara Evans points out from little things, big things can grow: A Little Bit Stronger.

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11. Nothing, Nada, Nil.

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12. My 2019 set out for me: Small Stuff.

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13. All champions know it is not the destination but the inner journey that is the more important to achieving the final result.

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14. How much dust have you shaken off recently: Shake It Off.

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15. And some advice from Yoda: May the Force be With You. Some days are harder than others to locate it.

So, say to yourself: “Dear Past, thank you for all the life lessons you have taught me. Dear Future, I am ready now!” Because a great beginning always occurs at the point you thought would be the end of everything.

Not many divas on the playlist today, mainly rock and both types of music, country and western. We rock it through the first four artists with Dynamic Hepnotics, Fatboy Slim, The New Radicals and Journey. Then Sara Evans and Alabama provide both types and we complete with Taylor Swift: Yes, Life is Tough, But You are Tougher.

So today, show Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included to your beloveds until we meet again, my dear friends.

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The Good News Is You are the Pilot!!


In their inspiring book Getting Back to Happy: Change your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs: Get It Here., Marc and Angel Chernoff explode myths. The one I am writing on today is that you have to wait for the “right time” to make a change in your life. The truth is it is never too late or too early to be who you are capable of being. There’s no time limit on when you can start living the life you’ve dreamed of. There is no mythical door that shuts after you turn a certain age, blocking you off from experiencing the things you want to do.

Happily, life has a way if throwing red flags when it’s time for us to make a change – we have to be watchful for them. With that in mind, take a look at this list and ask yourself: are any of these the reasons I’m unhappy with my life as it is now?

  1. Fear is Holding me Back.
  2. I catch myself feeding the negative.
  3. My mind is everywhere except right here, right now.
  4. I feel pressured to be someone other than myself.
  5. I feel like I’m competing against everybody else.
  6. A relationship is making me miserable.
  7. I feel bored.
  8. I’ve been resisting change.
  9. Other people are writing my story for me.

If any of these resonate with you, you certainly aren’t alone. Many people are afraid to step forward and change their situation simply because they don’t know how or because they’re afraid to fail. Remember, it’s always better to take an imperfect step forward than to take no step at all.

So, it is time to have a look at what society says about this situation:

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1. Without doing this you live yesterday after yesterday. I think its called Groundhog Day.

 

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2. After several failed attempts, Danny Sullivan won the Indy 500 and totalled $2 million dollars winning from 12 starts: The Time of My Life.

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3. Inspiring Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron, points out that the possibility is now.

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4. You will know when: Right Place, Right Time.

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5. But giving up your fear of failure will give it a more than even chance of it being the right time.

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6. I vote for making it: Hustle.

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7. Watch what they do, not what they say. Actions speak louder than words.

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8. Don’t give up, we all have mistakes along our journey: Don’t Give Up.

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9. They wrote some great song lyrics.

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10. As the navigator, you have to be right here, right now: The Navigator.

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11. Take that imperfect step into the above.

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12. When to do it by a man who changed the direction of the United States: His Greatest Speech.

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13. Begin it Now.

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14. Find the Others: Friends.

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15. We have the same 24 hours as Martin Luther King had, go for your dreams.

Rarely is life going to work out perfectly, and rarely will the stars align. If you’re waiting around to gather all the resources you think you need to take the next step forward, before you know it, you will have wasted all the time you have. Changing your situation is about being mindful of what you want to change- and then finding the one thing you can do first to improve it. That one action might not change everything, but it will put you on the path to something better.

The Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes classic starts the playlist today. Then the million-selling Olly Murs who I had never heard of. Jamelia funks it up next, then a superb live version of Peter Gabriels biggest hit. A  grungy offering from The Pogues, then some wise words from MLK, finishing with Ed Sheeran: The Good News is That you are the Pilot.

Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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Self Awareness and Self Love Matter!!


Up to Section 5 of Dare to Lead, Brene Brown’s exciting new book: Get It Here.

The section is titled Curiosity and Grounded Confidence and begins: “Grounded confidence is the messy process of learning and unlearning, practising and failing, and surviving a few misses. This brand of confidence is not blustery arrogance or posturing or built on bullshit; it’s real, solid, and built on self-awareness and practice. Once we witness how courage can transform the way we lead, we can trade the heavy, suffocating armour that keeps us small for grounded confidence that lifts us up and supports our efforts to be brave.” It’s unreasonable to believe that we can just rip off our self-protection mechanisms and streak through the office. Most of us armour up early in our lives because, as children, we needed to.

Brene then goes on about the paradoxes that elicit vulnerability in leaders and provides this excellent list:

  1. Optimism and Paranoia
  2. Letting chaos reign ( the act of building ) and reining in chaos ( the act of scaling )
  3. Big heart and tough decision making
  4. Humility and fierce resolve
  5. Velocity and quality when building new things
  6. Left brain and Right Brain
  7. Simplicity and Choice
  8. Thinking Global, acting Local
  9. Ambition and attention to detail
  10. Thinking big but starting small
  11. Short-term and long-term
  12. Marathons and sprints, or marathons of sprints in business-building

In a conversation with Dheeraj Pandey, CEO of a Silicon Valley IT company, Dheeraj says the following, “Leaders must learn the skills to hold these tensions and get adept at balancing on the ‘tightrope’ of life. Ultimately, leadership is the ability in the ambiguity of paradoxes and opposites.”

So, what does the world say about paradoxes and opposites, here are a few of my favourite things:

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1. How well do I embrace and opposites, better some days than others, a lifetime practice, methinks?

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2. Reads like lines from a really great song: Radiate.

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3. The gravity man, Sir Isaac Newton, watch out for the apples.

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4. The Light and the Dark, both are needed to transform: I Gotta Feeling.

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5. Anything goes, it is all required in our journey of life.

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6. That’s very Woo Woo, Albert: God Save The Queen.

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7. Fact check, did our favourite POTUS really say this?

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8. What do you say to your soul, I’m practising with I love You for five minutes in the mirror every day: A Whole New World.

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9. Something Judgement 101 does not allow.

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10. The classic reason why opposites attract, they are incomplete without their opposite, how many modalities teach us we need all the types of archetypes, personalities, etc. etc. etc: New Speedway Boogie.

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11. I post Ram Dass daily in Booker Looker land, he is one of my top ten faves on the net.

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12. More light and dark stuff, you can’t deny either for your life to work: Duality.

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13. They are sent to you to learn from them, what you resist persists, an old Landmark statement from the 1990’s that still rings true to this day.

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14. Best known for his book, The Myth of Equality, Wystma, a minister of the gospel helps us come to a deeper understanding of both the origins of these issues and the reconciling role people are called to play as a follower of the gospel. Inequality and privilege are real. The Myth of Equality opens our eyes to realities we may have never realized were present in our society and world. And we will be changed for the better as a result: Glory.

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15. The paradox of being attracted by an opposite, what are yours, mine is booze versus sobriety.

Brene sums it up as follows ” Learning how to rumble with vulnerability is work. And vulnerability never becomes comfortable, but practising means that when a vulnerability is washing over us, we can hear grounded confidence whisper in our ear, ” This is hard and awkward, and uncomfortable. You may not know how it’s turning out, but you are strong and you have practised what it takes to create and hold the space for it.” 

If you haven’t work it out from these two blogs, buy the book. It’s worth it for the free workbook and the glossary alone, not to mention the values list and the posters you get thrown in.

If you loved punk, there is a song for you on today’s playlist. We begin with a newbie for me, Hannah Kerr, then the iconic Black Eyed Peas, then the legend that is Johny Rotten leading the Sex Pistols. Another Disney classic from Alladin. An Aussie legend Courtney Barnett, then rocking out with Slipknot, then a beautifully smooth finish from John Legend: Self Awareness and Self Love Matter.

Spread Love and Respect to All, Everybody Included until next, we meet my dear friends:

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