Has COVID mandated Dislike of people who used to be friends.


I am not an anti vaccer, this is because as a young child to be kept alive I received quite a lot of vaccines and accepted that you had to take things that you may not like but were in the end good for you. Another term I heard recently regarding this area was Pro-choice which I thought related to the abortion movement, or it did in the seventies.

I have seen people posting via social media utter nonsense, that horse medicine is better than vaccines, that COVID is an international plot and the purpose of the vaccine is to put a microchip in you. If someone started a conversation about these subjects I would have to request that they stop as I am far too logical to listen to it.

What upsets me is that in these hard times I have heard of cases where people have written off friendships because we agree to disagree. Nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, someone they need, or something they thought was meant to be. Here are some lessons we have learnt over these painful times:

  1. You are not what happened to you in the past.
  2. Focus on what you have, not on what you don’t.
  3. Struggling with problems is a natural way of growing.
  4. It’s OK to fall apart for a little while.
  5. Life is fragile, sudden, and shorter than it often seems.
  6. Emotionally separate yourself from your problems.
  7. Don’t make a problem bigger than it is.
  8. View every challenge as an educational assignment.
  9. Things change, but the sun always rises the next day.
  10. Giving up and moving on are two different things.
  11. Perfect relationships don’t exist.
  12. You must love yourself too.
  13. Don’t let others make decisions for you.
  14. Resentment hurts them, not you.
  15. Consciously nurture your inner hope.
  16. It’s better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie.
  17. Not getting what you want can be a blessing.
  18. Laughter is the best medicine for stress.
  19. Worrying is literally a waste of energy.
  20. Even when it’s hard to move, take small steps forward.
  21. You are better off without some people you thought you needed.
  22. You are only competing against yourself.
  23. Life is not easy.
  24. Your future is unwritten.
  25. You are not trapped, you just need to relearn a few things.
  26. Everything in life is two-sided.
  27. You always have a choice.
  28. Let others in when you are in a dark place.
  29. If you ask negative questions , you will get negative answers.
  30. The end is a new beginning.

This is not the first time that disagreements like this have happened over time, I’m sure there are quotes over the decades that discussed this dilemma, lets have a look:

1. I is not worth going over the limit if you know their opinion is different to yours.

The Third POTUS, Thomas may be where the saying don’t talk about religion or politics came from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0r1AJMK79g

3. Mahatma used this principle to free a country.


4. We take it that friendly disagreement is progressing our friendships: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpqV3dzYOgk


5. Remember those school debates, you had to debate what you didn’t agree with at times.

6. Talking about the dreaded workplace disagreements: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x34icYC8zA0


7. One of my favourite actors with a very wise statement.


8. Repeat after me……..: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiVb8xizRXU


9. This one’s a smack in the face.

10. The stability get checked at the eye of the storm: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5vHWJhVvI4


11. Eugenia is an inspirational writer and poet. I believe this quote relates to her second book of poetry “Take a step right now towards your dreams“.


12. This is what I hope happens as COVID disappears into the distance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Py8OWAMkns


13. This profound piece of wisdom comes from an English cricketer if you believe Wikipedia.


14.There is a word for someone who is never wrong – Its a narcissist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3wKzyIN1yk


15.And for our final lesson, we look at the action versus the practice.

So from writing this, I have come to the solution that we can disagree to disagree but we do not need to give up our friendships.

Today’s playlist has two of my favourite songs on it, I will let you guess which one’s. We begin with 2 pop legends:John Legend and Shakira. Three lesser known groups and artists follow: Erasure, Prince Mpfarutsa and Bliss and Eso. The penultimate track is Carrie Underwood and we finish with Rag and Bone Man: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrt9dG5wUc1bJ9E1_DkZkEow

COVID has tested my ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included, but I have set up two Facebook groups to help with the spread of it: Interculturalism – https://www.facebook.com/groups/183421768519278 and Thriving People – People who wish to make a difference to Humanity: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1126100227764949. Whereever you are in the world reading this, I invite you to join our merry bands of travelers.

Until we net again, my dear friends.

What you tell your younger self!!!


Have you ever written yourself advice in the past or the future. I have done both several times at different periods in my life, the first being in our counter-culture English teachers class in High School. I came across a list a friend wrote recently and feel it has some great advice as it was written around the same time in his life. It was for his future self to his younger self.

  1. Your thirties, forties and fifties won’t feel like your thirties, forties and fifties.
  2. Bad things will happen to you and your friends.
  3. Everyone can make a huge difference.
  4. First impressions aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.
  5. Big results come when you narrow your focus.
  6. Love yourself. Become your own priority.
  7. Sometimes you just have t go for it.
  8. In order to get, you have to give.
  9. Not much is worth fighting about.
  10. Don’t try to impress everyone.
  11. Keep having fun.
  12. Keep it simple.
  13. Little things stick with you.
  14. Keep your opinions to yourself.
  15. Manage your time.
  16. Manage your money.
  17. What you learn in school does matter.
  18. Dreams will remain dreams forever if you don’t take action.

What he did different was he interviewed his father who at the time was in his early 50’s. So what have we as a human race said about sage advice for the future, let’s have a look:

1. Three values for a bright, bright future.

2. Mahatma used this ethos to free a country for foreign rule: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RYNED5p2EY

3. If we do this every day we will have a lot of personal gratitude in our lives.

4. How’s the book of your life coming along: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1d4r9awjKE&list=PL0msuI7SJDFfd2BRR9rOYWF5X9NGlcVXW

5. And Serena is one of a few people who would have the money to even consider this.

6. Make mistakes, this is what you learn from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6rP-YP4c5I

7. Written by the famous Ms Anon, this fits with if you never lie you don’t have to remember anything.


8. Haven’t included a quote by a POTUS for a while, this is a great one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqolSvoWNck

9. To be great you will have to go in every direction, some that even you may not give yourself permission.

10. The future is really up to you to create, so do it well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm9Zf1WYQ_A

11. If you do good deeds throughout your life, you will not need campaigns, etc, etc.

12. Hard to believe the wisdom of Forrest Gump is 30 years old: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0yFOupUkKQ&list=PLq_6wXJhooZNrHqOq-PLaEQ-VFpgtNc4V&index=14

13. Evangelist Billy Graham talks a lot about faith, this quote is very poignant.

14. Take the suggestions but begin the journey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP4iY1TtS3s

15. What are you writing for yours?

So this made me think about advice my parents had given me over the years and the times I ignored them. As my friend said, looking back they were right most of the time. This is one of the gifts of eldership.

For today’s playlist we begin with one of my favourite Australian singer/songwriters Anne McCue. Then the second Elvis, Elvis Costello. Three fine female singers follow: Shakira, Marilyn Monroe and Billie Ellish. The penultimate song is a 60’s classic by Scott McKenzie and we finish with Martin Luther King: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrt4bcuSvPP1abdV9OUkpqgs

Supporting, guiding and making contributions to other people is one of life’s greatest rewards. Everything you do comes around. Who knows what our futures will be, all I know that mine will include spreading Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. I have set the plan in place through my two Facebook groups: Thriving People – People who wish to make a difference to humanity: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1126100227764949 and Interculturalism: https://www.facebook.com/groups/183421768519278. You are cordially invited to join one or both of these groups as the more supporting this ethos the merrier.

Until we meet again, my dear friends.

Do you listen to your Heart or your Head?


I had a coaching session with my friend Lou today and as per usual she asked me what was showing up and what would I like to work on today. We have been in lock-down for over 200 days in my state of Victoria in the last year and I was feeling it today so I stated that I felt a little empty inside especially in my hands. We did some exercises and I noticed that I was forming fists of anger instead of contacting my heart to resolve the issue of what was having me feel this way.

When do we go in the direction of our heads ILO our hearts to resolve matters of the body. Often I do it when life has pushed me over, when really it’s time to stand up and push back even harder. Where there is a fork in the road and choices to make, make the ones your future self will thank you for. Today,start:

  1. Choosing you.
  2. Appreciating what you have.
  3. Believing in yourself and your dreams.
  4. Being positive.
  5. Taking action.
  6. Letting go.
  7. Picking yourself back up.
  8. Ignoring negative people.
  9. Staying in touch with close friends and family.
  10. Making time for fun.
  11. Spreading love and kindness.
  12. Being the change you want to see in the world.

So what has society said about listening to the heart over the centuries, let’s have a look:

1. Advice Pocahontas gave to the invaders of her land.

2. A woman who could live this life in the face of much controversy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o9rLDCfO6o

3. It won’t matter after you escape, because we will have passed on to another pathway.

4. Some of my great moments live in this realm: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCC_b5WHLX0

5. Very practical advice.

6.Tres Cute piece of heart advice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eh44QPT1mPE

7. Bold, Brave and Strong, such worthy attributes in life.

8. Bryant McGill is a human potential thought leader, international bestselling author, activist, and social entrepreneur. He is one of the world’s top social media influencers reaching a billion people a year: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oa7PUQAQ3zo

9. There is a right way to listen, this explains it well.

10. Heart and Soul, they are telling it like it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOubjLM9Cbc

11. This is a mean trick to pull on your body.

12.The first woman to head a Fortune 500 company, hanging around in those circles you definitely would need to know how to do this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5-yKhDd64s&list=PLKsj3BQVDw-_vaWpOlYPbklt4fEbF6OhD

13. The more you follow your heart the shorter you regret list is on your death-bed.

14. Never let the former override the latter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pw-0pbY9JeU

15. Don’t doubt your heart!!

Believe in your heart. Listen to your soul as well. Trust your instincts. Acknowledge your own strengths. Dream it and dare it. Do what you are afraid of, and capable of. Follow your vision. Know that anything is possible. Know you Can.

A couple of classics on the playlist today. Elton John leads us off. Then Roxette do that song about hearts followed by Neil Young. 2Pac does a rap cover of Roxette next with Michael Kiwanuka rocking one out next. The penultimate song is Eminem and we complete with Twenty One Pilots: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrsF_nUjfphbe4SiEWUmM-ug

I think your heart wants the best for you but sometimes we forget this when we make mistakes following it and we get scared off. My ethos for Interculturalism: Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included comes from my heart-space. I use two Facebook groups to support the spread of it. The first and oldest is Interculturalism: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Interulturalism, the second is Thriving People – People who wish to make a difference to humanity: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1126100227764949. You are always welcome yo join our band of merry travelers, just click on the links. Until next time my dear friends.

I’m Alone, I’m Alone, I’m Alone!!!


I can’t wait to read your fucking blog, here it is my beloved.

This is from a text I received yesterday. The same person who told me to fuck off and live my fantasy life and that’s she hates me, see my previous blog To Fuck Off, or Not. This was one of over 20 texts that started with my heart is breaking ending in the classic Fuck You posts. To me the above statement is a classic cry for help. I have worked out that my friend has three unique identities: The first being the Wise, Insightful, Compassionate, Sensual one. The second being the doubting Thomas one, this won’t work out which still contains some of the former, and the third, the cruel, sadistic Fuck You one who will say anything to hurt you, including you should kill yourself.

Am I being sadistic staying in communication with her, or Am I still in love with her. When I look into my heart, it is the latter. I don’t know how to fall out of love in a week and a bit, which she seems to have been able to achieve. So now we are both alone per say still talking to each other via text. So what does the world say about being alone, lets walk down that street:

1. I am slowly learning this, too soon, although we are in COVID stage 4 Lock-down in Melbourne, Australia.

2. You can offer this, but when they have made the decision to end it, its over, but in ours there seems to be residue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzSgxvvTWvA

3. For me that I prefer a partner.

4. I sense I will eventually do this again:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQl3WQQoQ0&list=PLgP_WFDJWjxRBAnIeUupZ-XHAspFBJZ0i

5. Thats what my sister is saying to me about my current situation.

6. The joy of the previous months with my friend have ruined this for me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSDgHBxUbVQ&list=PLgP_WFDJWjxRBAnIeUupZ-XHAspFBJZ0i&index=3

7. Not Yet, for me.

8. That is what crushes your heart: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2U0Ivkn2Ds&list=

9. Peace Out.

10. I so miss this, I am getting teary typing these words: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGorjBVag0I

11. It goes back to my early childhood, being cared for and abandoned by my mum in the first three months of my life.

12. I have been told by many friends I should be doung this, not talking to her. My heart does not want to hear it:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA&list=PLgP_WFDJWjxRBAnIeUupZ-XHAspFBJZ0i

13. Nothing, not even that person.

14. I do this so I don’t have to feel so sad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhcc1KQlCS4&list=PLgP_WFDJWjxRBAnIeUupZ-XHAspFBJZ0i&index=9

15. This is for my friend, a woman of faith.

So when life gets stressful and you feel like you’re losing your emotional balance, use one or more of these simple tricks to help you relax your mind and recenter yourself in an instant:

1.Wash your hands and face, annd brush your teeth.

2. Change your socks

3. Call a close friend.

4. Stretch.

5. Go outdoors

6. Take a light exercise break.

7. Dress to feel your best.

8.Listen to your favourite music.

9. Take a few deep,, controlled breaths.

10. Clear your stuffed nose.

11. Cook a good meal.

12. Walk away from energy vampires.

13. Complete an important piece of unfinished business.

14. Work in something that is meaningful for you.

15. Assist someone in need.

16. Think about your latest or (greatest success).

17. Act like today is already an awesome day

18. Notice what’s right.

Take a moment to acknowledge how far you’ve come.

Today’s playlist is dripping with Pop divas: We begin with Beyonce followed by Adele, Ed Sheeran and Christine Aguilera. We travel back in time for Leonard Cohen classic and end with Passenger and Andra: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrsGy-xwtyPoagX95P3KDfEs

Still haven’t worked out the links issue, My mission is not to be alone, it is to have 1,000,000 state they will live from the ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included, you can join our tribe here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/1126100227764949. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

To Fuck Off, Or Not!!!


What do you do when you have been told to fuck off and live in your fantasy world and the person hates you. You feel broken for a period of time because you remember when life was not that way. You search for what went wrong and hope it will return to the latter. Then you begin to realize that it cannot as much as you wish for it to. So you go about rebuilding your broken heart and hope that the. person who said it will leave your heart space in a reasonable amount of time.

I’m still working on that because I felt that this was the person who would live there for the rest of my life. So I admit it my heart is broken at the moment. What have people said about having their hearts broken over the years, lets have a look:

hb1

  1. She was not the wrong person to me.

2. We spent glorious days together, and then it went awry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZInWGC5L2T8&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa

3. Let’s hope so.
4. Lawrence of Arabia was a wise man:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2Rch6WvPJE&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=2

5. No I didn’t I spent two hours on a station where I could have been arrested for breaking the COVID lock-down laws.

6. Yes, that is how long I put her in my heart for: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQHsXMglC9A&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=3

7. And don’t forget the tears as well.

8. I am beginning to realize this as time kicks in: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=4

9. It was the best two months of my 66 year life.

10. No words can explain the feeling in my heart and soul: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fvj6PE3gN4o&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=6

11. My glasses used to fog over when I was wearing my COVID mask, perhaps they were warning me.

12. and the answer is a fucking lot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXzC2eiHBG8&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=6

13. There is always that missing part.

14. Thats what it feels like now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2e9_jfzFr0g&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=7

15. Her denial that I ever Loved her hurts me a lot, I will not let her take it away from me.

As we mature in relationships, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones. Remember, life is kind of like a party. You invite a lot of people , some leave early, some laugh with you, and a few stay to help clean up the mess. The ones who are your real friends in life. They are the. one who. matter the most. This is what they do for each other:

  1. They face problems together.
  2. They give what they can because they truly care.
  3. They make time for each other.
  4. They offer each other freedom
  5. They communicate effectively.
  6. They accept each other as is.
  7. They are genuine, and expect genuineness.
  8. They compromise.
  9. They support each other’s growth changes.
  10. They believe in each other.
  11. They maintain realistic expectations of their relationship.
  12. They honour each other in small ways on a regular basis.
  13. They listen, and they hear every word.
  14. They keep their promises.
  15. They stick around.

So, as I read through this list, I know and wonder where I did not fulfill all the expectations of a mature relationship. I am still deeply in love with the woman this is written about and have no idea how to get her out of my heart.

Today’s playlist contains some classic songs about broken hearts. We go back a long way to the Bee Gees, and follow up with the soulful voice of Toni Braxton.They the vocal power of Adele. We return to a rock ballad next with Passenger. Forward to the present and Billy Ellish. A newbie for me, Tate Mcrae and we finish with SIA: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa

WordPress have changed the system I use to write my blog so the links are different, I will read up on it and hopefully it will change back next week. Being in Love is part of relationships as is love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

Love Hurts!!!


Did you know love is not enough? I found that out in a sudden, dramatic way yesterday. I was travelling in our lockdown city of Melbourne to visit my supposed partner outside the 5-kilometre allowable zone when I rang her because she had written to me that she felt a bit down about her zoom visit to her psychologist. I rang her to find out what could I do for her, two hours later I was heading home and it was all over.

It was because I had agreed with her and allowed her space the night before and it seems I should not have listened to her and gone against her will and taken care of her. We had discussed this for an hour after I was halfway there and she told me she felt the most empowered she had ever felt. It seems that I am not enough to meet her needs. A day later I realise that I cannot be different from where I am at the moment. I can grow but cannot miraculously be different from where I am at the moment, so yes, Love hurts.

What does society say about the pain of unrequited love, lets have a look:

unrl1

1. I hope it finds this place soon.

unrl2

2. I forgot: Stronger.

unrl3

3. I found out the embrace of love is not enough.

unrl4

4. How will I get her out of my heart, it seems impossible at the moment, only time will tell: Love Hurts.

unrl5

5. Being in the same city doesn’t seem far enough, I cannot stop thinking of her.

unrl6

6. I’m crying typing this: When I Look at You.

unrl7

7. I wish you the best life.

unrl8

8. No words needed: Disappear.

unrl9

9. It’s storming in my heart.

unrl10

10. I mistakenly thought this was not us: Almost in Love.

unrl11

11. It seems this was not us.

unrl12

12. And not just of a sexual nature: Dreaming of You.

unrl13

13. I fear this.

unrl14

14. Thank you karma, you hurt: Instant Karma.

unrl15

15. and our final lesson comes from the Twitter personality Bauvard – A work of art should stand on its own, divorced from the personality of the creator. That is the only way the creator can be a work of art in himself.  

So what am I learning? Embrace that individual inside you who has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms. And above all, be true to you – if you cannot put your heart into it, take yourself out of it. Starting today…

1. Get your priorities right.

2. Take full responsibilities for your goals.

3. Know your worth.

4. Choose the right perspective.

5. Don’t let your old problems punish your dreams

6. Choose the things that truly matter.

7. Love You.

8. Accept your strengths and Weaknesses.

9. Stand up for You.

10. Learn from others, and move on when you must.

11. Be honest in your relationships.

12. get comfortable with being UNcomfortable.

13. Be who you were born to be.

14. Never give up on You.

The playlist today is a bit maudlin, we begin with Kayne West, go back to the 1970s to hear that song by Nazareth. The four pop divas: Miley Cyrus, Beyonce, Olivia O’Brien and Selena. We finish off with John Lennon: Love Hurts!!!

This will not stop me from spreading the ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. I have extended it to a million people in my new tribe: Thriving People.

Join if you wish. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

unrl16

 

 

 

What the Fuck is Intimacy, anyway?


I spent the day with the remarkable woman who has come into my life. In new relationships often the sexual side of it is what is most relevant, as the lust factor is high. The question I asked her before I went there last night was would she read me the bible, as she is a woman of faith. She agreed, and it didn’t happen as many other wonderful things did.

What is intimacy, anyway? Here is a shot at four different types:

  • Experiential Intimacy: When people bond during leisure activities. People may “sync up” their actions in teamwork or find themselves acting in unison.
    • Example: A father and son work together to build a model train, developing a rhythm to their teamwork.
  • Emotional Intimacy: When people feel safe sharing their feelings with each other, even uncomfortable ones.
    • Example: A woman confides in her sister about her body image issues. She trusts her sibling to offer comfort rather than using her insecurities against her.
  • Intellectual Intimacy: When people feel comfortable sharing ideas and opinions, even when they disagree.
    • Example: Two friends debate the meaning of life. They enjoy hearing each other’s opinions and don’t feel the need to “win” the argument.
  • Sexual Intimacy: When people engage in sensual or sexual activities. When people use the word “intimacy,” they are often referring to this type.
    • Example: Two lovers engage in foreplay, knowing how each other prefers to be touched.

So can you guess what we did? We did the dishes, set up a piece of furniture, discussed how we were feeling and why was, mainly me resisting being present to it, massaged each other, cleaned the stovetop and went for an hours walk. It was serene and magnificent in its intimacy.

How does the world relate to intimacy, lets walk down that road together:

inti1

1. I met you six years ago. It was definitely worth the wait.

inti2

2. When I reach this plateau, my body tingles all over: Soul Kind of Feeling.

inti3

3. A writer of words, a poetic soul, an emotive expressionist, Ranata Suzuki is a poet and quote writer whose eloquent words form with painful clarity the sad yet beautiful world of the broken heart. An anonymous writer based in Sydney, Australia, Ranata is known only by her avatar of a bird carrying a book.

inti4

4. How does the end of someone’s hair, become erotic. It’s easy in the land of intimacy: What Am I?

inti5

5. I confess I have made those 3am texts.

inti6

6. Especially now in lockdown in Melbourne, Australia we have to wear a mask when we leave the house: Bette Davis Eyes.

inti7

7. When you get into this kind of intimacy sex feels redundant at times.

inti8

8. Be weird with me, baby: Love is a Battlefield.

inti9

9. We did this for part of our walk today.

inti10

10. At times, I caught myself falling into hers when she looked back at me: Soul Man.

inti11

11. And then there is the ultimate love, love of self.

inti12

12.  I am actually feeling the I Love You’ in my heart, Yum: I Love You.

inti13

13. And it takes work to achieve this state, AS Katie Byron says, time to do Te Work.

inti14

14. Snap: Hurt.

inti15

15. I took trust out of the picture, she told me to fuck off until I had got the cost of this in our relationship, lucky for me she has an awesome heart.

So I am on a journey of intimacy, perhaps for the first time truly in my 66-year-old life, it feels magnificent.

Today’s playlist begins with an Australian classic from the Dynamic Hepnotics, followed by Edie Bricknell and the New Bohemians. Two classic female rockers from last century are next, Kim Carnes and Pat Benetar. Sam and Dave then lay some funky R and B on us. We move back into the present with Billy Ellish and complete with the Man in Black, Johny Cash: What the Fuck is Intimacy, Anyway?

So the purpose of my ethos for the world: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included is to have more intimacy available in the world. Until we meet again my dear friends.

inti16

 

How Can You Mend A Broken Heart!!!


You may have noticed my past 5 blogs have been about growing friendship with my friend Amy. It moved quickly and then spectacularly into becoming lovers against all the reasons the world tells you that a friendship between two people 28 years apart in age should. Being used to a single life, where you domestic actions didn’t have a lot of repercussions to being in a partnership saw me totally do some things that have unfortunately taken it from you are the greatest lover I have ever had and talk about moving in together to stop treating me like I am your mother in a period just greater than 24 hours.

Did we really love each other, yes we did, but I allowed my actions to move our relationship from our hearts to her head. I sit here writing this close to tears and I have cried about ten times in my 66 years, my parents once sent me to a phycologist to see why I couldn’t during my teenage years, it didn’t resolve anything and I am still a non-crier basically. The only thing that shifted it was the joy I felt in my love for Amy, I would be sitting on a railway station and feel tears of joy welling up, very un Rod Williams like.

My relationship consultant friend who is also a phycologist advised that we should not contact each other for 30 days as to go from the passion of a ten to the lesser feelings of friendship, say a three to a five we had to journey through our grief and sadness at to what we had lost, as moments this sacred are rare in people’s lives. I fight with the urge daily to break this especially when Amy contacted me. I wanted to write platitudes how I would do anything to get back together, but this is the act of 17-year-old first love. I must admit after 12 years it did feel a bit like this for me.

I realise I could write 1,000s of words what this woman means to me, I will journal them later, so what has the world said about relationship breakdowns and broken hearts over the years. Let’s have a look:

relbreak1

1. Oh, how I wished I could have stopped this occurring.

relbreak2

2. Oh, how my heart yearns for this: How Can You Mend A Broken Heart.

relbreak3

3. I love His Holiness quotes, but my heart does not want to agree with this one at all.

relbreak4

4. Crossed fingers, but it fucking hurts so much at the moment: Don’t Judge Me.

relbreak5

5. One of the things I did not do was break glass but forgetting to thank her most of the time was just as devastating.

relbreak6

6. And to me, it is you: My Immortal.

relbreak7

7. I am feeling this more and more as the pain slides away.

relbreak8

8. I am not ready for Amy to do that yet, I may not be responsible for my reaction in the emotional state I am in at the present: Run Through The Jungle.

relbreak9

9. This hurts in the I still love her zone.

relbreak10

10. I was the storm: Riders On The Storm.

relbreak11

11. I didn’t really do the second thing or did I, she has gone.

relbreak13

12. I lost in the first round: Street Fighting Man.

relbreak14

13. Ken oath.

relbreak15

14. We talked about our families a lot: We are Family.

relbreak16

15 And for our final lesson, well said Trent.

I spoke to a friend halfway through writing this for half an hour because I believe she has wisdom in this area. She advised me three things: 1. Take ownership for your part of the breakdown and look for the red flags that were there for it to happen. 2. Make agreements, keep them. If you are going to break them, communicate, communicate, communicate. 3. Take time to heal before you think about going back there, and do this day by day.

I am just doing these things now.

The playlist today is funk and rock and roll, we begin with the title track by The Bee Gees, then Chris Brown. Evanescence sneaks in this century’s rock track, then we go back in time to CCR, The Doors and the Rolling Stones. We complete with a ten minute epic by Chic and Sister Sledge, enjoy, it rocks: How can you mend a Broken Heart!!!

In my heartbreak, I have started a new tribe around my ethos Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. It is called Thriving People – People who wish to make a difference to Humanity, my intention is a 1,000,000 people take up the challenge, here is the link to join, I would love you too: Thriving People.

Until we meet again my dear friends.

relbreak17

 

You Know, It’s Never to Late!!!


Twelve years ago, after an emotionally abusive long term relationship I decided subconsciously I would never put myself through that again and chose the Life of Being single. I started doing personal development stuff and looked at different issues over the years, this one seemed to slip through to the keeper. Then I met a woman at Mojo. The first time we eye gazed for twenty minutes, the second time we screamed at each other for ten.

I didn’t know what to do, as a single man she could have asked me to fuck her on the dance floor and I probably would have said no. So I spoke to my mentor, who unpacked my single man decision. We then went through an exercise imagining her walk through the door and to see how close she could get to me. Not really close at all at first, just a few steps into the room. Many sessions later, it allowed me to be standing next to her with her in my arms. Nothing happened with this woman, because I was ages away from breaking the single man mould.

Two years later and several failed attempts by women, I have the honour to be in a relationship with a woman I had known six years. She is brave, confronting, loving and willing to go the whole nine yards to make it work. At times I am shit scared that it will not work out again and at other times there is so much ecstasy surging through my body I feel that I will implode.

So what has the human race said about love relationships, lets have a look:

lrel1

1. Everything, my beauty. Not some of it, the fear, the scared little girl, the raging anger, the hurt, all of it.

lrel2

2. What is the name of your street? Mine is Ecstacy Street: Love Street.

lrel3

3. Was I in love before that totally unexpected phone call, maybe?

lrel4

4. This is the final destination I seek: That’s What Friends Are For.

lrel5

5. I cannot put this into actual words, its a feeling.

lrel6

6. No words and I am a wordsmith: Your Smile.

lrel7

7. And see you and have you grow side by side.

lrel8

8. I love it that you love God, Beauty: Love Of My Life.

lrel9

9. Sound familiar?

lrel10

10. I hand these to you willingly, beauty: Somebody to Love.

lrel11

11. Even when my scared little boy identity fucks up and makes your heart ache, I remember your orgasmic smile.

lrel12

12. Helen Keller, blind and deaf: Insightfully speaking the truth: You’re Beautiful.

lrel13

13. What exactly is need?

lrel14

14. Truth 101: I Love You.

lrel15

15. And in the final lesson for this blog, I plead guilty as charged.

The title of this blog was meant to contain the word’s, Lost Life Opportunities as well. Why is this relevant? I reached Age Pension age, 66, one week ago. It is never ever too late. I must mention my life ethos of Love and Respect, Everyone Included. But I will finish with a question, what is going on that humanity trains our hearts to not trust they can be totally loved?

The playlist of love songs starts with The Doors, then the soulful Dionne Warwick and friends, also Rene and Angela.. next, Queen by two.  The penultimate song is by James Blunt and we complete with the one-hit wonders from the sixties, The Volumes: You Know, It’s Never to Late!!!

Until we meet again, my dear friends.

Is it for Life?


The joy of a new relationship!!! At the tender age of 65 one has entered my life. This one is special, sacred, even. Based on the premises of interpersonal therapy, it is about discovering your deeply held feelings, not the shallow on top immediate throwaway lines our identity serves up to protect us from really looking at what is going on for one.

I am naff at being with my anger with others, especially when I am angry with my new partner, I throw up frustration and sadness as my defences, seemingly unwilling to walk the depths of my anger, which makes her angrier with my seeming ineptness to journey in that particular area. We speak for hours at a time each day and go from deep love to telling each other to fuck off and never to speak to each other again. It is a mighty journey and warms my heart to the depth of my soul.

So why are I and so many people on the planet afraid of expressing their anger, which I am discovering more and more is healthy for one? What has the human race said about expressing anger over the years, here are a few of my favourite things:

ang1

1. The simplicity of saying I feel angry and sitting with it and not making it go away instantly is a skill I am getting better at day by day.

ang2

2. His holiness, a man who is depicted as never getting angry, has these wise words on the subject: His Holiness on Anger.

ang3

3. And that patience is willing to stand in the anger and resolve what is causing it.

ang4

4. Pushed down, this is what anger can cause in your body: Lose Yourself.

ang5

5. Anger is where all the things hangout.

ang6

6. Interpersonal Therapy is not easy but practised well, it is transformational: Dark Horse.

ang7

7. As necessary as eating breakfast.

ang8

8. And withholding and not growing in each moment, each interaction is not: Rolling In The Deep.

ang9

9. Mine surfaces as pain and a headache across the front of my head.

ang10

10. Amy is very skilled at this: Man Down.

ang11

11. This is one of my faults in being with anger, I am cruel to myself a lot.

ang12

12. And one way of doing this that. is very powerful is to sit inside the anger: Not Afraid.

ang13

13. The power of working through feelings so there is growth from an interaction is extraordinary.

ang14

14. And from the founder of Buddhism, comes this pearl: I’m Ready.

ang15

15. And for our final lesson, we return to the Buddha again with a different but similar message.

Is it worth facing my anger to grow into the space that I feel is available in this relationship? I have never been more certain of something in my life. Will there be pain, yes. Will, there be joy at the breakthroughs, yes, and will there be suppressed anger rising to the surface, fuck yes.

The playlist begins with His Holiness, followed by Eminem. Three pop divas follow: Katie Perry, Adele and Rhianna. Back to Eminem and we finish the set with Sam Smith: Is it for Life?

We discussed what our passions were yesterday. What clearly came to the surface was that I am never going to fulfil my dreams of having the ethos: Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included whilst I am suppressing my anger in the world. Until we met again my dear friends.

ang16