You Are Not Alone In This!!!


I went to a local council meeting today to support a group who had been defunded, there was a lot of anger in the room. One group called the other racist for doing it, and there were allegations flying everywhere. I left as it did not seem to be serving many purposes, the decision to not defund them was watered down to a prissy offering of looking at other means of funding them. So it appears they must use the energy of their anger to fight the next battle.

So anger, what is its purpose and is it very useful in today’s world? Marc Chernoff writes about it as follows:

WHEN SOMEONE UPSETS us, It’s often because they aren’t behaving according to our fantasy of how they “should” behave. The frustration, then, stems not from their behaviour differs from our expectations. This is a moment for looking within.

You can’t control how other people behave. You can’t control everything that happens to you. What you can control is how you respond to it all. Your power lies in your response. Let’s practice together…

  1. Get comfortable with pausing.
  2. Respect people’s differences.
  3. Be compassionate
  4. Extend generosity and grace.
  5. Don’t take people’s behaviour personally.
  6. Talk less and learn to appreciate silence.
  7. Create a morning ritual that starts your day off right.
  8. Cope using healthy choices and alternatives
  9. Remind yourself of what’s right, and create more of it in the world.

What has the world written about the power that Anger has over us, here are a few of my favourites:

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1. I wouldn’t suggest telling someone they are being stupid if they make you angry, that would mean there would then be two angry people in the room.

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2. Known for his satirical wit and sardonic view of human nature, Ambrose Bierce earned the nickname “Bitter Bierce.” His mocking cynicism is on full display in The Devil’s Dictionary, a work that originally appeared under the title The Cynic’s Word Book. … As a short story writer, Bierce gave us many treasures: No Regrets.

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3. Ralph points out simple homegrown logic in a lot of his quotes, check out this classic.

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4. They say it is better to reclaim the anger than have it reclaim us by being blurted out all of a sudden: Just Give Me a Reason.

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5. In the development work I do, we speak of the immature feminine and masculine, and the mature feminine and masculine. Guess in which fields an insecure personality would hang around in?

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6. Anger doesn’t tend to hang around in the field of contentment: Going Through Changes.

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7. The cardigan-wearing one points out what lies within when we are angry.

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8. From the 16th Century, noted English poet Alexander Pope talks about anger being revenge on oneself: Smells Like Teen Spirit.

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9. Duck!!!

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10. Not a good anxiety practice, going to bed angry: Fight for the Right.

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11. Fark!!!!

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12. From the man who found enlightenment under the Bodhi tree, why holding onto anger is so toxic: Burning Down The House.

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13. Commonly known as a foot in mouth disease.

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14. It’s the old one finger pointing forward, three backwards routine: Lithium.

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15. The final lesson is that anger is just as important to deal with as all the other things we feel.

Everybody gets upset and loses their temper sometimes. Remind yourself that we are all more alike than we are different. When you catch yourself being angry with someone, add “just like me sometimes” Choose to let things go. Let others off the hook. Take the high road today.

Today’s playlist is anthem clad. From the 60s we begin with The Walker Brothers followed by some angst from Pink. My favourite white rapper Eminem is next, then the first of two Nirvana entries. A unique version of The Beastie Boys biggest hit will test your mettle. Talking Heads second last then back to Nirvana to finish off this great rocking playlist: You are not alone in This.

So the world does not say anger is bad all the time, I believe I need some to get my ethos, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included to triumph over the current world conversation. Remember if you like these blogs of mine sign up to have them in your inbox on the day of creation. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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If You Focus On Change, You Will Get Results!!!


I chose todays subject from a list of productivity questions called Productivity questions to make you think. There are nine of them, here they are:

  1. What could you AVOID to improve your productivity?
  2. What is WORSE, failing or never trying?
  3. When it’s all SAID and DONE, will you have said more than you’ve done?
  4. If not NOW, then when?
  5. So far, what has been the primary FOCUS of your recent life?
  6. What do you do when you feel like giving up?
  7. What are you one step CLOSER to today than you were yesterday?
  8. What PEOPLE and ACTIVITIES energize you?
  9. What are you GLAD to quit?

You could spend the next month focusing on just one of them and in the resolution of it would transform your life, the one that calls to me is number 5 – So far, what has been the primary FOCUS of your recent life? My answer would have to be resolving the issues in my life that prevent me from having a partner. A little bit of history, my last serious relationship was just over ten years ago and when it broke up in less than pleasant circumstances I unconsciously made a decision that I am not going through that again and I will be single the rest of my life.

I discovered this after quite a bit of work on myself and have decided to cancel the request. Some opportunity has shown up but I still have a ways to go. So how has the world chosen to write about the focused life, here are some good ones:

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1. Netflix, Netflix, Netflix!!!

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2. You just have to love a great acronym: I’m Gonna Be.

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3. There will always be obstacles, that is a given. It is how you handle them that will get you the outcome.

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4. I used to play golf. To be any good you need extreme focus which I didn’t have: The Greatest.

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5. Refer to the title of this blog.

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6. People, Debts, Actions, it seems miraculous but focusing is like that, a real cleansing balm: I’m Falling Away.

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7. Even in Ancient Greek time, it was a subject discussed by the great philosophers.

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8. Much too cute not to include: Rabbit Song.

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9. We move on from rabbits to dogs, both quotes point to the same thing.

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10. I once said in a very drunken stupor to a wise woman friend that I was looking for a girlfriend. She said the same as this using different words. Sometimes hard to do when you are alone: Can’t Fight This Feeling.

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11. From the world’s most well-known philosopher Ms Anonymous comes this piece of pure wisdom.

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12. And here are the gifts you receive from choosing to focus: Lose Yourself.

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13. And the other great philosopher, Mr Unknown.

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14. We all know the noise that this is referring to, don’t we, the noise that lives in our head: Little Talks.

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15. And our final lesson for the days lies in the heavily underlined word, your wants not what others want for you.

My friend Marc Chernoff writes: It is said that highly productive people recognize that not all hours are created equal, and they strategically account for this when planning their day. For most of us, our minds operate at peak performance in the morning hours when we are well-rested. So obviously it would be foolish to use this for a trivial task like reading emails. These peak performance hours should be 100 per cent focused on the tasks that bring you closer to your goals.

Today’s Focus playlist begins with the Proclaimers with that karaoke song. Sia is next then I feature an ad from Sprite.  Boy and Bear lead a trio of male voices followed by REO Speedwagon and Eminem. We finish with Of Monsters and Men: If You Focus on Change, You Will Get Results!!!

I also focus on Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. If we related to each other from this paradigm, the world would be a different place. Remember, if you wish to receive these blogs in your mail, sign up on the right-hand side of the blog. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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Thoughts Give Joy When They Speak!!


Do you ever spend time with those thoughts that debilitate you or hope that they will go away? My thoughts like this that keep hanging around is that I am unworthy of love. Even if my life is totally in disagreement with this underlying it somewhere in my body that thought lingers. I have recently been working with my mentor to actually accept the idea as being part of my life. Fuck, it’s hard, as I have put 60 plus years into hoping it will go away or ignoring it. So how have you and life dealt with shadow thoughts, lets have a look:

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1. We go back to the 13th century and Persia for the first comment, unbelievable that these words are still current today.

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2. Nietzsche became the youngest ever to hold the Chair of Classical Philology at the University of Basel in 1869 at the age of 24. At 24, I was listening to my shadows, full-on: Be Yourself.

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3. I am doing the opposite at the moment, we shall see.

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4. Zen originated in China during the period 200 to 500 A.D. It was said to be a combination of Buddhism and Taoism and is most prevalent in Japan these days: Have You Seen Your Mother Baby, Standing In The Shadows.

5. Because it is so cute.

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6. As I delve more in accepting these thoughts as part of me, this statement makes more sense: Blinded by the Light.

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7. Past, Present, Future.

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8. Buddha said some ace things, didn’t he: Joy.

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9. What nationality is that name, great quote…

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10. That thought often leaves me not acknowledging when I am shown love, it’s a constant fight to express it: A Whole New World.

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11. Those thoughts keep on whispering their message, that’s why we say they are in the shadows.

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12. This doesn’t need words to explain what it depicts: Bette Davis Eyes.

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13. I could never bring myself to watch slasher movies, but even I remember the name Chucky from the Childs Play franchise.

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14. Ingrid E. Newkirk is a British animal rights activist and the president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, the world’s largest animal rights organisation. There are all types of shadows created on our planet: Choose Me.

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15. For the final lesson, Rumi points out that if there is the blessing of love, that included your shadows.

So acceptance of your shadows is one step to fulfilment in your life., I have fallen in love with my friend Marc’s lists again – here are his 30 things to start doing for Yourself:

  1. Start spending time with the right people.
  2. Start facing your problems head-on.
  3. Start being honest with yourself about everything.
  4. Start making your own happiness a priority.
  5. Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly.
  6. Start noticing and living in the present.
  7. Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you.
  8. Start being polite to yourself.
  9. Start Enjoying the things you already have.
  10. Start creating your own happiness.
  11. Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance.
  12. Start believing that you’re ready for the next step.
  13. Start entering new relationships for the right reasons.
  14. Start giving new people you meet a chance.
  15. Start competing against an earlier version of yourself.
  16. Start cheering for other people’s victories.
  17. Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations.
  18. Start forgiving yourself and others.
  19. Start helping those around you.
  20. Start listening to your own inner voice.
  21. Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks.
  22. Start noticing the beauty of small moments.
  23. Start accepting things when they are less than perfect.
  24. Start working towards your goals every single day.
  25. Start being more open about how you feel.
  26. Start taking full accountability for your own life.
  27. Start actively nurturing your most important relationships.
  28. Start concentrating on the things you can control.
  29. Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes.
  30. Start noticing how wealthy you are right now.

If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it. Talk to those closest to you. Tell them the truth about how you feel. Let them listen. The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step towards feeling great again.

Today’s playlist is male-dominated again as we approach Father’s Day in my country, Australia. We begin the journey with Audioslave, then some classic Stones. Manfred Mann follows then the sultry tones of Isaac Hayes. We then cross to film with Mena Massoud and Naomi Scott. The penultimate tune is Kim Carnes and we close with our unknown number by Musicians for a Cause: Thoughts Give Joy When They Speak!!!

If you are accepting all of yourself this means all areas of Love and Respect for All, Everbody Included are covered. Until we meet again, my dear friends. Remember to sign up to the email list to receive all the blogs as they come down the production line.

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Be your own self, Love what you Love.


You are powerful when you believe in yourself – when you know that you are capable of anything you put your mind to. You are beautiful when your strength and determination shines as you follow your own path – when you aren’t dishevelled by the obstacles along the way. You are unstoppable when you let your mistakes educate you, as your confidence builds from experiences – when you know you can fall down, pick yourself up, and move forward. 

These inspiring words are from Marc Chernoff, he also provides 11 ways to become this person:

  1. Stop judging, and appreciate the beauty within you.
  2. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.
  3. Care less about who you are to others.
  4. Know your worth.
  5. Don’t rush intimate relationships.
  6. Let go of those who aren’t really there.
  7. Forgive yourself and others.
  8. Focus on the Positive.
  9. Believe in the person you are capable of being.
  10. Work on Goals you believe in.
  11. Keep working and looking straight forward.

This chapter is entitled 11 ways to become the person you love, so lets have a look at what society has said about being the person you love:

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1. Amazing work! Kaci Diane has found a way to capture her raw emotions in a way that allows the reader to join her on a journey of hopes, dreams, ups and downs. You feel the highs and lows of each poem as Kaci gives you a glimpse into her heart and soul.”

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2. Feel that yearning deep in your soul: Yearning for Your Love.

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3. I’m sure when we pop out that this is in place.

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4. A million dollars worth: Who Says.

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5. A classic from the world’s great philosopher, Ms Unknown.

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6. Unrecognisable is the word that comes to mind for me: I Gotta Feeling.

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7. And your answer is?

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8.  Lalah hangs out in Mind, body, spirit, and life; wellness, wholeness, empowerment, and transformation, through Vibrational-based living, vibrating higher daily: Change Your Life.

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9. They travel everywhere together.

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10. The good things at both ends, changes the meaning of the classic burning at both ends analogy doesn’t it: Somewhere over the Rainbow.

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11. Seven Billion No one is You’s, amazing. Go and fly.

 

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12. When self-obsession becomes a powerful tool in your armoury: Love Me.

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13. Out, damn thought – William Shakespeare, well, nearly.

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14. Bravery and Brene Brown, touche: Shame is Lethal.

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15. Bette Midler!!

In the end, loving yourself os about enjoying your life, trusting your own feeling. taking chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and learning from the past. Sometimes you have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting. Have faith that things will work out maybe not exactly how you planned, but just how it’s meant to be.

Today’s playlist is crowded with pop divas and some worldly advice. We begin with ex-members of the Gap Band, Charles Wilson and Tyrese, then our first diva Selena Gomez. The Black Eyed Peas appear before divas Iggy Azalea, Ariana Grande and Kate Perry. We finish with the wisdom of Brene Brown: Be your own self, Love what you Love.

Becoming the person you love allows you to love others: Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included, I look forward to seeing you again next time we meet, my dear friends.

 

Sunset is still my favourite Colour!!


There is a poem towards the back of The Four Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss called the Slow Dance written by child psychologist David L. Weatherford, it goes like this:

The Slow Dance

Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight? Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down, Don’t dance so fast.

Time is short. The music won’t last.

Do you run through each day on the fly?

When you ask: How are you? Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in bed

With the next hundred chores running through your head?

You’d better slow down. Don’t dance so fast.

Time is short. The music won’t last.

Ever told your child, We’ll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste, not seen their sorrow?

Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time to call and say, “Hi”?

You’d better slow down. Don’t dance so fast.

Time is short. The music won’t last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere, You miss half the fun of getting there

When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an unopened gift thrown away.

Life is not a race. Do take it slower.

Hear the music Before the song is over.

Timothy talks about busyness being one of the major causes of stress and the enemy of the new rich, the four hour week workers whose lives are about living for fulfilling their dreams, dancing through life. So I have chosen some dancing quotes to look at hearing the music before the song is over:

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1. I hear their reply when I ask, How are you because my heart is open from the dance of life.

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2. Don’t let those hundred chores that need to be done in your head forget how much you and your friends would dance to the music and the not music when you were little: Safety Dance.

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3. We have all met that person who makes us break our rules, often more than one on our lifetimes.

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4. Not sure what the difference is, they say perfectionism is its own worst enemy: Let’s Dance.

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5. I like doing it with another soul so all that exists are our two hearts beating as one.

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6. I love this image of the dog leaping in pure ecstasy, who gives a fuck how it looks if it fully expressed: Dancing Fool.

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7. Always remember what had you take up the dance in the first place, the joy and freedom.

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8. Before enlightenment, take one step then another.  After enlightenment and success, take one step and then another: How Far I’ll Go.

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9. To me, dancing is about the expressive bits, not the steps that make it up.

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10. My 90 year old mother said to me she would like me to lose some weight. I am 63 and over 100 kg again, and yes, I am a dancer: Better when I am Dancing.

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11. I just took part in Dancing Freedom’s 21 day dancing challenge. You got sent 10 to 20 minutes music to dance to everyday. The  only space I really have in my flat is the kitchen and the back yard.

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12. I dance on dance floors where speech is not optional, we are there to dance, we are all quiet: Can’t stop this Feeling.

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13. Not the slow dance, these times are special.

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14. Don’t mess with a dancer, we are tough as nails and sweet and kind all in one: Shake It Off.

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15. And this is what the poem is about, the Heart.

Doing the slow dance is like turning off the noise. Surprisingly the world doesn’t end and you end up being liberated in a way few people ever know. During this time follow the koan – If you don’t have attention, you don’t have time.

Namaste until next time my dear friends:

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You can Play a Shoestring if you’re Sincere!!


I’m reading s great book called The Big Little Book of Resilience by Matthew Johnstone at the moment. Matthew wrote and illustrated it. It is subtitled How to Bounce back from adversity and lead a fulfilling Life. Each page has a little bit of wisdom with a supportive image.

Accepting what we can and cannot change is one of the most important aspects of understanding resilience. it’s learning to work with and grow what’s right in our lives while accepting, but not putting all our energy into , what’s not.

So bringing sincerity into our lives allows us to see what are our rights and what will empower us. Lets have a look at what people have said about rights over the years:

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1. Standing up for your rights means that you do not have to offend or please others all the time, It gives you time to consider them.

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2. This brave young woman has raised the voices of half the world’s population: Roar.

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3. You have the right to…. it’s up to you, whatever you listen to in your mind takes hold.

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4. I have difficulty with one of these, guess which one: Same Love.

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5. Our voices are given to us for a reason, It’s you time to use it.

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6. I say this to you all, you can do it, you rock: I will Survive.

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7. As a race, we have a fair way to go with this one.

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8. This year, I became a tutor to three Chinese mothers. Before I did this I didn’t realize who little I know about other cultures on the planet and how much my group of friends is from the one culture: Where is The Love.

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9. Mainstream media, Whilst in the hospital with my mum I unfortunately had to view it. The word puerile and the meaning of this question come to mind.

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10. As it say above, be a voice. This period of time in raising your your children cannot be taken back without some serious therapy bills if you stuff it up: Teach Your Children Well. 

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11. How do millions of people turn into killers during the time of war. Often they were neighbors who had lived next to each other peacefully for years and years. The above sentence speaks very loudly.

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12. The federal government in my home country, Australia seem to have forgotten this, they are about to implement a national Grade 1 grammar test: Better Place.

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13. This haunting image could not let me not include it.

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14. I spent many months contemplating this during my dark times. It was not Erin but Ruth and Jann and Hugo who said this to me, not in such dramatic style, but I heard it: Stay.

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15. Perhaps best known for the remark in a letter to an Anglican bishop, “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men. Donald Trump, or Nelson Mandela who will be remembered in the year 3030?

So I am imploring you to realize that you have rights and you have a voice. It’s our time, Its up to Us, Because we Can.

Namaste, until next time, my dear friends.

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Time, not just Money!!!


Let’s say you’re moving to a new house interstate. To help you out one of your friends pay for the moving company. A very generous offer worth $5,000. another friend comes to your house and helps you pack the boxes, load the truck, travel with you to the new house, unload and unpack the boxes. Two weeks later, both friends need a favour on the same day. Who would you be inclined to help, the one who wrote a cheque or the one who committed time and energy?

Unlike the time and effort people put into something, it is what money represents that give it value. The cost of something is relevant to what people place on it whereas time cannot be given back. There are 2 million dollar watches and 10 dollar watches that both do the same job, possibly made with a process that took approximately the same time. How many times have you been in a meeting thinking, I will never get this time back.

So what has society said about the value of time versus money, lets delve into it:

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1. People don’t come around to your place to look at your possessions, they come to exchange stories of the great times that you spent together, your experiences.

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2. If you lock them up in the kennel , and only bring them out to show them off as an asset, no tail wagging: I Love My Dog.

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3. It’s what you focus on that gets the money rolling in, how you spend your time.

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4. We don’t go on and on about the time that some one gave us lots of money, the money soon is not there. But that time we were feeling suicidal and you held our hand all night, now, thats a different matter: Hold my Hand.

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5. Remarkably the only thing that is always there is you, not your money, your friends. It depends on how you direct your life that makes it work out or not.

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6. There are many meanings for prosperity such as wealth, success, profitability, affluence, riches, opulence, the good life, (good) fortune, ease, plenty, welfare, comfort, security, well-being; nowhere does it just say money: Prosperity.Yeha-Noha.

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7. A car cannot love you.

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8. Why are there so many books compared to museums. Simply put, people like stories that entertain, not things that people collected: Love Story.

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9. What children remember, not the toys.

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10. The big Tones take on it: you can’t get more time: Invest in Yourself.

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11. Two ultra rich musicians recently took their own lives, they were not happy because they were ultra-rich.

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12. Bhutan is a country that measures their gross happiness product, not their gross domestic product. Guess which country has the highest well being: Happy.

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13. Better known as the advice columnist Dear Abbey, this quote would have been written in the 1950’s or 60’s. I think it is far more relevant in our instant gratification days that we now live in.

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14. What should come first is your vision for life, not your bank balance. Fulfilling your vision means you are living life on your terms: Live your Life.

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15. Love does not carry a price tag, remember this daily.

Why do we call a business a “company” – because it is a collection of people in the company of other people. it’s the company that matters.

Namaste until next time my dear friends.

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