How do you break the Ice?


After a failed relationship which was my first in ten years I have become hesitant to dip my toes in the water again. But even with this hesitancy the opportunity has risen again and a wondrous women has appeared in my sights. I have wanted to kiss her almost from the moment I saw her across the room and attending a community dinner with her after the event we were at reinforced why I would want to do this.

I see the people from this event once or twice a month so if I want more to happen the hesitancy will have to go away. She kissed me goodbye last time we met and I have been flustered by this ever since. All the stories that raise their ugly heads have arisen since then.My friend Angel suggested a few things to do to move on from this:

  1. Free myself from negative people.
  2. Let go of those who are already gone.
  3. Give people you don’t know a fair chance.
  4. Show everyone kindness and respect.
  5. Accept people just the way they are.
  6. Encourage others and cheer for them.
  7. Be your perfectly imperfect self.
  8. Forgive people and move forward.
  9. Do little things for others every day.
  10. Pay attention to who your real friends are.
  11. Always be loyal.
  12. Stay in better touch with people who matter to you.
  13. Keep your promises and tell the truth.
  14. Give what you want to receive.
  15. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
  16. Allow others to make their own decisions.
  17. Talk less and listen more.
  18. Leave petty arguments behind.
  19. Ignore unconstructive, hurtful commentary.
  20. Pay attention to your relationship with yourself.

So what has the human race said about this dilemma over the centuries, let’s have a look:

1. Morgan Harper Nichols is an American Christian musician, songwriter, mixed-media artist, and writer, whose work is centred around the question “how can we create connection?”.

2. That this woman would walk up to me and kiss me was totally unexpected, I did not think she knew I existed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tq72aBL7GLY

3. They say the feeling between fear and excitement is only in what you choose to call it.

4. The period of Catherine the Great’s rule, the Catherinian Era, is considered a Golden Age of Russia. The Manifesto on Freedom of the Nobility, issued during the short reign of Peter III and confirmed by Catherine, freed Russian nobles from compulsory military or state service. Construction of many mansions of the nobility, in the classical style endorsed by the empress, changed the face of the country. She enthusiastically supported the ideals of the Enlightenment and is often included in the ranks of the enlightened despots. As a patron of the arts, she presided over the age of the Russian Enlightenment, including the establishment of the Smolny Institute for Noble Maidens, the first state-financed higher education institution for women in Europe.

5. Preferring Waldo to Ralph , Emerson was considered the 19th Centuries preeminent philosopher.

6. While Moore dealt with alcoholism and health issues throughout her life which make this statement by her ring true, it’s her work with television that will forever be remembered. And she amassed quite a hefty fortune thanks to her work. According to Celebrity Net Worth, Moore died with a net worth of $60 million: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSbnvgF-vOk

7. From a beautiful Coastal town in Australia, Lupytha is an aspiring young philosopher of this century.

8. If its not scary, it does not require bravery: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_FPN-bttVQ

9. Now from what Neil has stated he knows how to be really scared.

10. More wisdom from Waldo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz-DJr1Qs54

11. Boom!!!

12. It seems to be in this case, or is it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=be0rGkKxSGU

13. Not all those thoughts, especially the what if ones.

14. And we had to let Brene have a say on this subject: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYFRcK4hDes

15. And for our final lesson today, Mary Tyler Moore offers us a beauty.

Family and lovers are not always blood. They’re the people in your life who appreciate having you in theirs – the ones who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways, and who not only embrace who you are know but also who you want to be. These people – your real people – are the ones who truly matter.

Today’s playlist has a bit of cabaret in it: We begin with songstress Bernadette Peters, then an Olympic song by Boney M. One of America’s sweethearts Mary Tyler Moore is next before we access our three rock entries, David Bowie, The Cranberries and P.I.L. We complete with some sage advice from Brene Brown, Enjoy this diverse playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrscdcrz4k2Uhkp9ArVfJ4Na

Wouldn’t it be beautiful if we were able to express how we felt to each and every person, to show Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. This is the ethos of my two Facebook Groups, Thriving People – People who wish to make a difference to Humanity: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1126100227764949 and Interculturalism: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Interulturalism. By clicking on the links you can join our merry bands of adventurers.

Until we meet again, my dear friends.

We Grow Every Day!!!


Does the statement that is the title of this blog frighten you. In scientific truth in regards to age it is until we pass, but does it feel like that in other areas of our life. They say we develop our characteristics by the age of five, Earlier temperament seems to affect later life experience. For example, one 1995 study published in the journal Child Development followed children from the age of 3 until the age of 18. The researchers found, for instance, that children who were shyer and more withdrawn tended to grow into unhappier teenagers. 

In those first few years everything is new and vital, and then the harsh truths of life start to kick in. What do we learn in this new sector of our life:

  1. Life is not Easy.
  2. You will fail sometimes.
  3. Right now, there’s a lot you don’t know.
  4. There may not be a tomorrow.
  5. There’s a lot you can’t control.
  6. Information is not true knowledge.
  7. You can’t be successful without providing value.
  8. Someone else will always have more than you.
  9. You can’t change the past.
  10. The only person who can make you happy is you.
  11. There will always be people who don’t like you.
  12. You don’t always get what you want.
  13. In life you get what you put in.
  14. Some friends will come and go.
  15. Doing the same exact thing every day hinders self-growth.
  16. You will never feel 100 percent ready for something new.

So what has society said about this period over time, lets have a look:

1. Interesting comment from a man who has been involved with baseball his whole life.

2. A great question, Which is your voice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuAH21DkJow

3. A man who made billions speaking to people’s inner child’s.

4. Lev Grossman (born June 26, 1969) is an American novelist and journalist who wrote The Magicians Trilogy: The Magicians(2009), The Magician King (2011),and The Magician’s Land (2014). A strange statement from someone who writes about magic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPE9a_epmWw

5. One day seems like a minute and sometimes like a week on this journey.

6. At Sixty-Six this has happened to me a lot, Dr Seuss: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlPhMPnQ58k

7. I think I was about 11 when this powerful statement by Iranian born Cassandra Clare kicked in.

8. You go from a whole school to one or two precious ones: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNHBT7wjqVI

9. a moment of sudden and great revelation or realization.

10. Boom: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoUH9b6xHyg

11. He is best known for his works of fiction, especially The Screwtape Letters, The Chronicles of Narnia, and The Space Trilogy, and for his non-fiction Christian apologetics, such as Mere Christianity, Miracles, and The Problem of Pain. Lewis and fellow novelist J. R. R. Tolkien were close friends. Two of the great fantasy writers of their time.

12. How old were you when this happened: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8Xb_7YDroQ

13. The magnificent Maya Angelou.

14. And it’s popularly called our Inner Child: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0cBhdvXfJA

15. Sir Peter Brian Medawar was a British biologist and writer, He is remembered for his wit both in person and in popular writings. Famous zoologists such as Richard Dawkins referred to him as “the wittiest of all scientific writers”, and Stephen Jay Gould as “the cleverest man I have ever known”.

I’m getting to the point of knowing all that I may know but playing my great uncle role on Sunday with my great niece Tawara who is all of six months old I must admit it takes you back to that period in your life when it’s all about Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included, It’s so beautiful watching her natural joy.

The playlist today is young, old and smarmy , we begin with Pink then fly back to the sixties with Steppenwolf. The first of two rock groups is next with Maroon 5. Back to the 70’s with Dione Warwick and Friends, we stays there with Peter Pan and Friends. The penultimate number is Eve 6 and we complete with Shaina Noll, which some people may find a bit smarmy: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrsSwgrDaJJ_VQtjpbCMe57v

Thank you for waiting a few weeks for this blog, until we meet again my dear friends.

With a Little Help for my Friends!!!


Lockdown number three in my hometown of Melbourne, Australia, bummer. Only 5 days this time, but the dreaded stage four: 5 kilometres and four reasons to leave your home. Even for that short period of time it severely effected two musician friends of mine earnings, they had to cancel their main income making events for the month. When contacted bt them I offered the first to keep the money and send me a download and the second I gave a donation to because she sent us a download for being on her dance crew.

These people keep our hearts open and alive and I am so willing to support them when life gets in their way as this five day hiatus has. I have been a Patreon contributor for over two years for two other friends and Amanda fucking Palmer. This is an excellent way of contributing to people who use these funds to do the work they need to do in the manner that allows them to be most creative. So over time how has the world looked at creativity, lets take a walk down that path:

  1. Musicians impress me in the fact that they are willing to do this for days.

2. There has been no one like you on this planet before: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIj4ojGFdDY

3. Maya knows best.

4. Rain and art, two useful cleansers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGB59HuKu-I

5. Being good is enemy number one – Pablo.

6. Being emotive brings out your creativity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vjPBrBU-TM&list=PL9A6W9rJ8TCvgGp2wo8IXenyGHqw-v_B7

7. Creativity is a unique form of breath-work.

8. Pablo was as much a philosopher as an artist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kc2iLAubras

9. Why would you need one if your life is art?

10. An essential part of your daily diet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPUmE-tne5U

11. Art is made up of all colours, or not.

12. He nearly did with that mustache: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6T97kHjKiY

13. A fun creativity list to live life from, Yummy!!

14. Lailah Gifty Akita is enthusiastic inspirational writer, born in Accra, Ghana. She is the author of ‘The Alphabet of Success’ , ‘ Think Great,Be Great; Beautiful Quotes Volume 1 and ‘The Wings of Hope:Survivor’. She is passionate about empowering the mind of young people to fulfill greatest mission: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76RTRjj7Jmw

15. It is in the eye of the beholder.

So we have the opportunity to be creative day to day, here is a list of questions to ask yourself each Sunday as to how you went:

  1. What did I learn last week?
  2. What was my greatest accomplishment over the past week?
  3. Which moment from last week was the most memorable and why?
  4. What’s the number one thing I need to accomplish this week?
  5. What can I do right now to make the week less stressful?
  6. What have I struggled with in the past that might also affect the coming week?
  7. What was last weeks biggest time sink?
  8. Am I carrying any excess baggage into the upcoming week that can be dropped?
  9. What have I been avoiding that needs to get done?
  10. What opportunities are still on the table?
  11. is there anyone I’ve been meaning to talk to?
  12. Is there anyone that deserves a big thankyou?
  13. How can I help someone else this coming week?
  14. What are my top three goals for the next three years?
  15. Have any of my recent actions moved me closer to my goals?
  16. What’s the next step for each goal?
  17. What am I looking forward to during the coming week?
  18. What are my fears?
  19. What am I most grateful for?
  20. If I knew I had only one week to live, who would I spend my time with?

Take thirty minutes every Sunday and give yourself the gift of self-reflection.

Today’s playlist is not a playlist, it is seven songs because YouTube is playing up: We begin with a new pop diva to me named Lenka. We then go back in time to 10CC. Sia is great next, then two bands, Modern Lovers and Katrina and the Waves. We finish with two international numbers by Mecano and Kuami Eugene.

So we have many opportunities in our lives to give to others, to me give and you will receive helping my world ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included spread to the other 46 countries it has not been read in. Here is the link to join our Facebook group – Thriving People: People who wish to make a difference to Humankind: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1126100227764949

Until we meet again, my dear friends.

Ending Things!!!


Well, we are nearly there, the end of 2020, some say the worst year we,as a species have gone through. For me, it meant a visit to the Melbourne Clinic, a beautiful relationship with Amy, a period of time alone, English tutoring weekly,then when COVID went away in our state of Victoria, Australia the opportunity to dance again, one of my favourite things to do.

So, as always, things ended. Some I wanted too , and others I didn’t. I was a prat and I learnt some good things. Looking up the meaning of prat I confess I did not know of the second:

  1. an incompetent or stupid person; an idiot.
  2. a person’s buttocks.

I was referring to the former in my use of the word, some may say I behaved in the manner of the second at times.

So what has society said about things ending over the centuries, let’s have a look:

1. Conrad Potter Aiken was an American writer and poet, honored with a Pulitzer Prize, a National Book Award, and was U.S. Poet Laureate from 1950 to 1952. I like his comment on aging.

2. Do you let go when your heart feels like letting go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7frF7Ir2oA

3. Stand by your she/her or he/him..

4. A or B, which describes your life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FMGYycBAMU

5. This happens, send me an email and ask.

6. Or cease or speed up the inevitable due to behaviors: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ga62NUGZjk

7. Laura Beatrice Marling (born 1 February 1990) is a British folk singer-songwriter. She won the Brit Award for Best British Female Solo Artist at the 2011 Brit Awards and was nominated for the same award at the 2012, 2014, 2016, and 2018 Brit Awards. Great insight, Laura.

8. I love stories, reading them and writing them, do you?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h64s0U1IarQ

9. And you were unforgettable and unique!!!

10. Poignant image of the verse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-u3TiRrh7jQ

11. Dark or Light, which is your favourite role?

12.Oops, failed this one badly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U&list=PLR8zgCuNIFtG0XSj73-VNzpCzAk1bp1n2&index=3

13. It’s was just a perfect day, I’m glad I spent it with you.

14. Proof that not only babies and dogs dribble: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9PD7J2XfUY

15. The latter becomes for the former.

Nobody gets through life with out losing someone they love, someone they need, or something they thought was meant to be. But it is these losses that make us stronger and eventually move us towards future opportunities for growth and happiness. Over the past 6 and a half decades, I’ve had my share of painful losses. When my time of mourning was over in each circumstance, I pressed forward, stronger and with a greater under standing and respect for life. Here are a few lessons I learnt on the way:

  1. You are not what happened to you in the past.
  2. Focus on what you have, not on what you don’t.
  3. Struggling with problems is a natural way of growth.
  4. It’s OK to fall apart for a little while.
  5. Life is fragile, sudden, and shorter than it often seems.
  6. Emotionally separate from your problems.
  7. Don’t make a problem bigger than it is.
  8. View each challenge as an educational assignment.
  9. Things change, but the sun always rises the next day.
  10. Giving up and moving on are two different things.
  11. Perfect relationships don’t exist.
  12. You must love yourself too.
  13. Don’t let others make decisions for you.
  14. Resentment hurts you, not them.
  15. Consciously nurture your inner hope.
  16. It is better to be hurt by a truth than comforted by a lie.
  17. Not getting what you want can be a blessing.
  18. Laughter is the best medicine for stress.
  19. Worrying is literally a waste of energy.
  20. Even when it’s hard to move, take a small step forward.
  21. You are better off without some people you thought you needed.
  22. You are only competing against yourself.
  23. Life is not Easy.
  24. Your future is unwritten.
  25. You are not trapped, you just need to relearn a few things.
  26. Everything in life is two-sided.
  27. You always have a choice.
  28. Let other’s on when you are in a dark place.
  29. If you ask negative questions, you will get negative answers.
  30. The end is a new beginning.

Today’s play list visit the seventies quite a bit, no Spotify playlists unfortunately, but one long live version of the classic ending song. We begin with Sir Paul McCartney, then move on to the Doors and finish the 70s with Eric Clapton. Two great Australian talents for our overseas listeners in Marie Hoy and Murray Kyle. We complete with two of my faves Eminem and Rhianna as the penultimate number finishing with Maroon 5. enjoy: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtMgN6Th9fo7YNZ-6cq7kPA

Would there be less ending if we lived from my world ethic, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. I think so, I have even created a Facebook group for 1,000,000 people to sign on board: It is called Thriving People – People who wish ot make a difference to Humanity. Here is the link if you would like to be one of them: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1126100227764949 . Until we meet again my dear friends.

How do you fill the gap left?


I was having trouble getting over a recent love affair so began reading about breakups. I found this really good blog in it titled: Losing the Love of Your Life: What to do when you lose the one by Natasha Adamo Here are the first four paragraphs of it, it explained it very well.

Losing the love of your life makes you realize that love can truly be a double-edged sword. It can make us feel so uniquely connected to the world and fill our hearts so they are overflowing. It can also slash our hearts to shreds, leaving painful emotion seeping out for a long time to come.

And one of the most painful places to be in is the one where you feel regret, guilt, and pain for losing someone you see as too much of a loss to recover from. The one who was there for you, loved you, and did the “thick and thin” thing because they believed in you. But now they are gone.

Losing the love of your life and actually realizing it can take some time to surface. There is pain on both sides when a breakup occurs. A time of healing. A time when moving on begins and life slowly becomes happier. The pain subsides, and you reflect on the lessons you learned and seek new love.

There are also times when this doesn’t happen. Where you find yourself thinking of someone every day.  Losing the love of your life is painful. You feel heavy with guilt, and regret lives in your gut. It is often at this point you question yourself, and think that this person you lost, has left a hole in your life that can never be filled.

I keep going between the two and feel I am leaning towards the former at the moment although there are days when the latter takes over. So how does society advise you to fill that hole when it sticks around, lets have a look, some are harsh:

1. Actually a phone call made to find out what groceries were needed.

2. We were in COVID .pandemic lock-down times so Zoom was a godsend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqMl5CRoFdk

3. Still pondering a lot of the time, getting better though.

4. Pretty close to the truth, it goes away eventually with taking other actions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm9Zf1WYQ_A&list=PL3-sRm8xAzY-v_i64uZfriFSPYHnQd8Vl&index=4

5. I don’t fully understand this quote.

6. This is the hole that can be never filled time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk4BbF7B29w

7. Makes me think of Deborah Harry’s Broken Glass.

8. I regret that I did this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sptQj1MPIwg

9. But time has come to realize you must move on.

10. On 22 December 2016, Coelho was listed by UK-based company Richtopia at number 2 in the list of 200 most influential contemporary authors: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzM71scYw0M

11. That’s OK until the heart meets someone again.

12. Strength or wisdom, which gets you through the day better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woOJRsXMQ5g

13. Do not let the shadows of your past darken the doorstep of your future, forgive and forget.

14. When things break badly, it is hard to repair them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5e8C1nhe_s

.

15. And for the final lesson, an ultimate check list.

Are breaking up and letting go the same thing, both have nothing to do with weakness, the latter more to do with strength. Here are 12 things worth knowing as you wander this path.

  1. The past can steal your present if you let it.
  2. Not everyone, and not everything is meant to stay.
  3. Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.
  4. Sometimes you just need to do your best and surrender the rest.
  5. You are control of only one person: yourself.
  6. What’s right for you may be wrong for others, and vice versa.
  7. Some people will refuse to accept you for who you are.
  8. Relationships can only exist on a steady foundation of truth.
  9. The world changes when you change.
  10. You can make decisions, or you can make excuses.
  11. It usually takes just a few negative remark’s to kill a person’s dreams.
  12. Sometimes walking away is the only way to win.

Today’s playlist contains three classic sixties bands, two pop diva’s and two relatively unknowns: We begin with Early Stones, then Billy Ellish and Adele. Back to the Sixties for the Doors and The Walker Brothers. Then my two unknowns, the first has less than 1,000 YouTube hits, a rarity: Raven and we finish with the Struts: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrv2CMFf0MRxXaKqX5rg-2xG

You/I are responsible for our own happiness, no one else. You/I are responsible for our behavior, no one else. If you are not seeing the things in life that you want, look at yourself. What are you afraid of? Self-sabotage is when you pike at the last moment, afraid of what lies ahead (even if it’s good for you).

So you can be afraid of the gap, torn apart by the gap or learn to be courageous and jump the gap and move forward. The latter will bring you closer to Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

Our COVID Love Affair.


7 months,from 22nd March until now, that is how long our beloved city of Melbourne has been in lock-down from COVID, most of it stage 3 and 4. We have had a love affair with masks and crosses on the ground. I began the first stages in a psychiatric unit at the Melbourne Clinic and have ended it breaking up with the women I wanted to spend my life with.

It has made Zoom like technology a must at most houses, for the kids to do their school work, parents to do their work as the government asked them not to go to work unless they really had to, and for my friends in the conscious dance community to listen to the DJ’s they danced to weekly in dance halls all around Melbourne.

So what has the world said about COVID, because lets not forget it is a world-wide pandemic, here we go:

1. How long is 7 months, a frigging long time.

2. Charles Robert Darwin 12 February 1809 – 19 April 1882) was an English naturalist geologist and biologist, best known for his contributions to the science of evolution sounds like he would have been a great man to have on the COVID Health team: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HMP4zrJiM4

3. 5 basics of the pandemic.

4. Don’t forget the merch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARt9HV9T0w8

5. How true was this over the past seven months.

6. The naysayers are many, especially the journos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co6WMzDOh1o&list=PLhGO2bt0EkwvRUioaJMLxrMNhU44lRWg8&index=15

7. Did they have to put a limit on how much toilet paper you could buy in your country, we did.

8. I think after seven months, I’ve got there: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4pi1LxuDHc

9. COVID Parenthood 101.

10. Hadn’t thought of this, the royal handshake and hug: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4Vmjyjst4U

11. The streets and walk-paths are really empty.

12. This would be funny if it was not true: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MH4TVYT1OYQ

13. Ice cream.

14. The cute as pie one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygdB-ZE0daY

15. Oops, sprung.

So, what are some things that can help you get through this pandemic, here are a few suggestions:

  1. Wash your hands and face, and brush your teeth.
  2. Change your socks,
  3. Call a close friend.
  4. Stretch.
  5. Go outdoors.
  6. Take a light exercise break.
  7. Dress to feel your best.
  8. Listen to your favourite music
  9. Take a few deep, controlled breaths.
  10. Clear your stuffed nose.
  11. Cook a good meal.
  12. Walk away from energy vampires.
  13. Complete an important piece of unfinished business.
  14. Work on something that’s meaningful for you.
  15. Assist someone in need.
  16. Think about your latest (or greatest) success.
  17. Act like today is already an awesome day.
  18. Notice what’s right.
  19. Take a moment to acknowledge how far you’ve come.

The playlist today begins with two older songs by David Bowie and Gloria Gaynor. Following are two bands, U2 and the Lumineers. The only pop diva is next, Enca ft. Noizy. We finish with two COVID parodies of Foreigner and Michael Jackson: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtSY-drWEG7LyrzJbFT4GV2

Today is the day we were meant to find out about an easing of the restrictions, I think I saw an extension to November the 2nd, missed by that much. So during this time we really need the ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until next time my dear friends.

What I don’t Know!!!


I have just spent three hours texting on the phone to my ex-partner, and it ended up in the usual Fuck Off. But during that I committed to writing a blog about what I didn’t know, a relative hard task because its about what I don’t know. Areas like how insecure I feel at times and how life confuses me. It seems the previous ones I wrote judging her personality based on my own defensiveness rather than any knowledge. I do not hold this to be totally true but apologise for causing her hurt in writing about her if it caused these feelings.

What do I feel insecure about? Many things: Insecure that I will fail in my new businesses, Insecure that I never feel my deepest emotions, Insecure that I will never respond to a woman in a way she feels worshiped, Insecure that I will always feel unlovable all my life and insecure that I will feel that if I let people get close to me they will reject me.

I am confused by how to meet a lovers needs, I am confused by fitting in, I am confused by feeling all the feels as my anger may get out of control, I am confused by what to do to be a good elder for my community, I am confused at the way the world is governed, it feels so wrong, I am confused by women’s intentions and I am confused by what it takes to find a woman who will love me for who I am.

So what has society said about insecurity and confusion, let’s take a walk down memory lane:

1. I’m not sure if I have as yet.

2. I have all three of these: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLmYZSu3NCc&list=PL6IfNZf-6l0gKdY4foPph_HTEm3nwrx8x&index=2

3. How many make your list?

4. They were for a while: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THeLVhU53ow&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=22

5. Boom!!!

6. I’m learning this big time, and the things about me that don’t work as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAfyFTzZDMM&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=28

7. This is why finding your perfect partner is so hard, because we all have these.

8. I haven’t as yet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXXQLa-5n5w&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=31

9. Not an easy thing to do.

10. Intuition is from innocence, Insecurity from your darkest places: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocDlOD1Hw9k&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=27&bpctr=1600577394

11. Hit the pause button and turn it onto play.

12. When this happens in your life it is a grand declaration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=26

13. Quite a broad recipe of circumstances of which insecurity is but one.

14. Not this takes something to meet on an equal plain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYa1eI1hpDE&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=30

15. I plead guilty to this.

I wish to add some words by Jeanette LeBlanc, they relate to the writing of this:

Write the truth of yourself. As you know it. Right Now. In this exact moment and only this moment. Make your words sing with the hope of you , with the want of you, with the very blood and bones and guts of you Select the lines that speak your heart. Your sex. Your sacred. Spill yourself into this paragraph as if lives depend on it. Because your lives – every last one – do.

Today’s playlist is all pop diva’s except for the opening number. Gnash starts us off followed by Jess Glynne. Three of the biggies follow Christine Aguilera, Beyonce and Pink. Cobie Caillat is the penultimate diva and we finish with Taylor Swift: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrsm9HO0oD7BenIjEVeZoRGT

When the world is willing to recognise its insecurities and confusion we will be able to recognise that Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included will have a chance. My new tribe: Thriving People – People who wish to make a difference to humanity has this as its ethos, if you would like to join here is the link: https://bit.ly/2ERbjc9. Until we meet again my dear friends.

When the Love between you has ground to a Halt!!!


I only really care if you read this.

Is love really love when it goes from Deep Love to Its over in one day? One would have to doubt that there ever was a strong foundation to use the term deep love to explain the exquisite feelings two people had for each other in the previous months. I have found in the last two weeks that watching mindless TV does not replace very well the profound conversations that are had in the throes of love.

When you are cut off from all forms of contact after receiving 27 messages in a day without the right to reply to most of them because the person knew you were in an online retreat it begs the question as to what was behind their actions, As this person stills lives in my heart I have written to her in the hope she will open contact again but as the days roll on the chance of this seems to becoming less and less. I will need to take time to have the love for her not controlling my heart.

So what have people said about breakups over time, lets walk down that path.

1. Did I do this? I didn’t think so.

2. All in one day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8AYmSdaQZI&list=PL3-sRm8xAzY-v_i64uZfriFSPYHnQd8Vl

3. This was another option!!!

4. Sometimes your head tells you strange things: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm9Zf1WYQ_A&list=PL3-sRm8xAzY-v_i64uZfriFSPYHnQd8Vl&in

5. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (16 October 1854 – 30 November 1900) was an Irish poet and playwright. After writing in different forms throughout the 1880s, the early 1890s saw him become one of the most popular playwrights in London. He is best remembered for his epigrams and plays, his novel The Picture of Dorian Gray, and the circumstances of his criminal conviction for gross indecency for consensual homosexual acts, imprisonment, and early death at age 46.

6. I hope it is not to long, I was sure that this person was what I deserved: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrGS_6_HglU&list=PL3-sRm8xAzY-v_i64uZfriFSPYHnQd8Vl&index=4

7. I think this is starting to kick in, it makes me incredibly sad doe what we had.

8. This made my heart shudder as I read it and tears come to my eyes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EE-TQyOP9g0&list=PL3-sRm8xAzY-v_i64uZfriFSPYHnQd8Vl&index=8

9. I’m not sure if this is true about her.

10. Spending time with people who value me has helped with this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2e9_jfzFr0g&list=PL3-sRm8xAzY-v_i64uZfriFSPYHnQd8Vl&index=9

11. His Holiness is wise, I haven’t quite got this yet.

12. Self Love 101: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEhy-RXkNo0

13. The cruel one doesn’t care.

14. The pain is indescribable: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuNIsY6JdUw&list=PLR8zgCuNIFtG0XSj73-VNzpCzAk1bp1n2&index=5

15. I learnt that she had three personalities, I loved the first, liked the second and hated the cruel one. Probably my mistake in not accepting all her traits.

In a breakup both people has some responsibility for it occurring as love is not that easy to give up, it is the prime emotion. I still want this love, but am realising that it is not likely to occur in the near future. I would wait for it, but all my friends and support team say to feel the pain and move on. There is a question in my mind that makes this hard, how often do you find your true love in a life time, I’m thinking only once,

The playlist today is pop diva’s singing sad songs of break up: We begin with Nea, new to me. Billy Ellish is next, then Zoe Wees, followed by Hanne Leland. Then three of the biggies, Sia, Rhianna and Taylor Swift: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrsGGr8g9EcKSL5ntMSTyhhU

I read a list that has helped me on my path to recovered, 10 simple things:

  1. Happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed.’
  2. Be a student of Life every day.
  3. Experience is the best teacher.
  4. Your choices, your actions, your life.
  5. No one is “too busy”. It’s all about priorities.
  6. Be patient and tough. Someday this pain will be useful to you.
  7. It’s usually better to be kind than right.
  8. You can become a magnet for good things by wishing everyone well.
  9. Only you are in charge of your attitude.’
  10. Satisfaction is not always the fulfillment of what you want.

These attitudes remind me of the ethos of my new tribe: Thriving People – People who wish to make a difference to humanity. It is based on my ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included, I’m looking for 1,000,000 people to take it on and transform the world, you can join here: https://bit.ly/2ERbjc9 , until we meet again my dear friends.

You Are Not Alone In This!!!


I went to a local council meeting today to support a group who had been defunded, there was a lot of anger in the room. One group called the other racist for doing it, and there were allegations flying everywhere. I left as it did not seem to be serving many purposes, the decision to not defund them was watered down to a prissy offering of looking at other means of funding them. So it appears they must use the energy of their anger to fight the next battle.

So anger, what is its purpose and is it very useful in today’s world? Marc Chernoff writes about it as follows:

WHEN SOMEONE UPSETS us, It’s often because they aren’t behaving according to our fantasy of how they “should” behave. The frustration, then, stems not from their behaviour differs from our expectations. This is a moment for looking within.

You can’t control how other people behave. You can’t control everything that happens to you. What you can control is how you respond to it all. Your power lies in your response. Let’s practice together…

  1. Get comfortable with pausing.
  2. Respect people’s differences.
  3. Be compassionate
  4. Extend generosity and grace.
  5. Don’t take people’s behaviour personally.
  6. Talk less and learn to appreciate silence.
  7. Create a morning ritual that starts your day off right.
  8. Cope using healthy choices and alternatives
  9. Remind yourself of what’s right, and create more of it in the world.

What has the world written about the power that Anger has over us, here are a few of my favourites:

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1. I wouldn’t suggest telling someone they are being stupid if they make you angry, that would mean there would then be two angry people in the room.

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2. Known for his satirical wit and sardonic view of human nature, Ambrose Bierce earned the nickname “Bitter Bierce.” His mocking cynicism is on full display in The Devil’s Dictionary, a work that originally appeared under the title The Cynic’s Word Book. … As a short story writer, Bierce gave us many treasures: No Regrets.

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3. Ralph points out simple homegrown logic in a lot of his quotes, check out this classic.

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4. They say it is better to reclaim the anger than have it reclaim us by being blurted out all of a sudden: Just Give Me a Reason.

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5. In the development work I do, we speak of the immature feminine and masculine, and the mature feminine and masculine. Guess in which fields an insecure personality would hang around in?

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6. Anger doesn’t tend to hang around in the field of contentment: Going Through Changes.

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7. The cardigan-wearing one points out what lies within when we are angry.

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8. From the 16th Century, noted English poet Alexander Pope talks about anger being revenge on oneself: Smells Like Teen Spirit.

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9. Duck!!!

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10. Not a good anxiety practice, going to bed angry: Fight for the Right.

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11. Fark!!!!

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12. From the man who found enlightenment under the Bodhi tree, why holding onto anger is so toxic: Burning Down The House.

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13. Commonly known as a foot in mouth disease.

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14. It’s the old one finger pointing forward, three backwards routine: Lithium.

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15. The final lesson is that anger is just as important to deal with as all the other things we feel.

Everybody gets upset and loses their temper sometimes. Remind yourself that we are all more alike than we are different. When you catch yourself being angry with someone, add “just like me sometimes” Choose to let things go. Let others off the hook. Take the high road today.

Today’s playlist is anthem clad. From the 60s we begin with The Walker Brothers followed by some angst from Pink. My favourite white rapper Eminem is next, then the first of two Nirvana entries. A unique version of The Beastie Boys biggest hit will test your mettle. Talking Heads second last then back to Nirvana to finish off this great rocking playlist: You are not alone in This.

So the world does not say anger is bad all the time, I believe I need some to get my ethos, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included to triumph over the current world conversation. Remember if you like these blogs of mine sign up to have them in your inbox on the day of creation. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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If You Focus On Change, You Will Get Results!!!


I chose todays subject from a list of productivity questions called Productivity questions to make you think. There are nine of them, here they are:

  1. What could you AVOID to improve your productivity?
  2. What is WORSE, failing or never trying?
  3. When it’s all SAID and DONE, will you have said more than you’ve done?
  4. If not NOW, then when?
  5. So far, what has been the primary FOCUS of your recent life?
  6. What do you do when you feel like giving up?
  7. What are you one step CLOSER to today than you were yesterday?
  8. What PEOPLE and ACTIVITIES energize you?
  9. What are you GLAD to quit?

You could spend the next month focusing on just one of them and in the resolution of it would transform your life, the one that calls to me is number 5 – So far, what has been the primary FOCUS of your recent life? My answer would have to be resolving the issues in my life that prevent me from having a partner. A little bit of history, my last serious relationship was just over ten years ago and when it broke up in less than pleasant circumstances I unconsciously made a decision that I am not going through that again and I will be single the rest of my life.

I discovered this after quite a bit of work on myself and have decided to cancel the request. Some opportunity has shown up but I still have a ways to go. So how has the world chosen to write about the focused life, here are some good ones:

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1. Netflix, Netflix, Netflix!!!

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2. You just have to love a great acronym: I’m Gonna Be.

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3. There will always be obstacles, that is a given. It is how you handle them that will get you the outcome.

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4. I used to play golf. To be any good you need extreme focus which I didn’t have: The Greatest.

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5. Refer to the title of this blog.

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6. People, Debts, Actions, it seems miraculous but focusing is like that, a real cleansing balm: I’m Falling Away.

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7. Even in Ancient Greek time, it was a subject discussed by the great philosophers.

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8. Much too cute not to include: Rabbit Song.

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9. We move on from rabbits to dogs, both quotes point to the same thing.

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10. I once said in a very drunken stupor to a wise woman friend that I was looking for a girlfriend. She said the same as this using different words. Sometimes hard to do when you are alone: Can’t Fight This Feeling.

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11. From the world’s most well-known philosopher Ms Anonymous comes this piece of pure wisdom.

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12. And here are the gifts you receive from choosing to focus: Lose Yourself.

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13. And the other great philosopher, Mr Unknown.

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14. We all know the noise that this is referring to, don’t we, the noise that lives in our head: Little Talks.

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15. And our final lesson for the days lies in the heavily underlined word, your wants not what others want for you.

My friend Marc Chernoff writes: It is said that highly productive people recognize that not all hours are created equal, and they strategically account for this when planning their day. For most of us, our minds operate at peak performance in the morning hours when we are well-rested. So obviously it would be foolish to use this for a trivial task like reading emails. These peak performance hours should be 100 per cent focused on the tasks that bring you closer to your goals.

Today’s Focus playlist begins with the Proclaimers with that karaoke song. Sia is next then I feature an ad from Sprite.  Boy and Bear lead a trio of male voices followed by REO Speedwagon and Eminem. We finish with Of Monsters and Men: If You Focus on Change, You Will Get Results!!!

I also focus on Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. If we related to each other from this paradigm, the world would be a different place. Remember, if you wish to receive these blogs in your mail, sign up on the right-hand side of the blog. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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