People Think About What They Don’t Want!!


It’s a bit of a celebration today, on Wednesday I reached the old official retirement/pension age of 65 in Australia. Our right-wing government wanted to make it seventy before the backlash became too much when it reached 68. This is also my 450th blog. What did I do on my retirement day, I went to an event called Awakening Attraction, this is the blurb for it:

There is nothing that enlivens relationships more than the potency of ‘chemistry’ – the charge, the tension and the excitement of impassioned desire.

It is this magnetism, this enchantment, this allure that is the elixir of relating and it weaves certain magic through our romantic interactions.

Without it, we may still have great ‘friendships’ or ‘partnerships’ but we will be missing out on the ‘juice’!!

Attraction has often been considered as an elusive ‘Je ne se quo’, but what if attraction was not a mystery but rather something you could understand, cultivate and play within a healthy way to bring out the best in those around you? What if you could ignite the spark of attraction and keep the flame alive in relationships?

During this interactive special evening event for men and women where we will be navigating all things ATTRACTION.

The topic we will be exploring on the night…
– When it comes to intimate relationship what is your ATTRACTION STYLE?
– Understanding the effect you have (or don’t have) on others.
– What do you WANT to attract and what are you actually attracting?
– How you ignite the spark of attraction
– How you keep the flame burning deeper in a long term relationship.

I have done the feeder program for this night called Awakening Women for Men, a transformational experience that alters how you listen to your own inner feminine, your mother, mine has passed, your sisters if you have them, your lovers and your female friends and the sister program is Awakening Men for Woman. The ethos of these programs is

We believe that at our human core our greatest longing is to be seen, felt and heard by those we love.

Awakening Connections is a new paradigm of relating that empowers people to come into deeper wholeness, love and truth.

We know a world exists where humans feel enlivened within themselves which in turn creates an opening for healthy, sexy and inspired relationships.

Relationships with self and others are the most challenging emotional experiences we face, asking us to continually evolve and grow.

We give people the ability to really step into and navigate the challenges we face and turn them into gold.

Awakening Connections celebrates the journey of relationship through embracing both its ecstatic potential as well as the gritty, real and raw nature of the human experience.

It’s time to create extraordinary relationships, are you ready?

So how has society looked at attraction over the years, here are some of my favourite ways!!!

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1. This calls out to my heartspace.

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2. In the real field of attractiveness, you do not have to live by the rules that there are only certain desires that are OK: I Feel Good.

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3. But only with consent, we do not read it right every time.

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4. Are you great at receiving your desires, it is something I am working on after years of listening to the reasons why I couldn’t in my head: Waiting for Love.

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5. Body Butter, not something taught in standard high school sex education classes.

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6. Talking about what is present in the actual moment, not saying what you think they want to hear, now that is expansive: Titanium.

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7. Do you match your desires, I am about a 5 out of 10, always working on becoming stronger at it.

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8. And once you begin to awaken your conscious self, your lifeforce does not allow you to go back: Set Fire To The Rain.

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9. Magnets are built to attract to and stick to what are the right frequencies, listen to your magnetic power.

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10. Fear prevents you from approaching what you desire and what you are attracted to, there is that classic saying have your fear and do it anyway. Over to You: Anyway.

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11. Fuck Yes!!

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12. Awakening occurs at the moment, you can do it millions of time in your life, especially around attraction: Changes.

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13. Red or Blue, which are you attracted too?

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14. Remember in this attraction game that you have unique strengths and skills, may you find the one, or even two or three that honours them: The Way.

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15. And from the most famous of philosophers Ms Unknown comes the final lesson when awakening attraction.

A week or so after doing Awakening Women for Men a dear friend of mine asked me what did I learn about women from the course, it felt like she was checking to see what secrets Alley, Shaney and Jarrod had given away. Here is my answer: I said there was too much, it will take a lifetime to take it all in, but imagine I had never met you and I walked into the room and saw you and went: we must end up as lovers. I ask you out informing you that I broke up with Janice three months ago. I would know when I am placing my projections of being with Janice on our relationship, allowing it to be new and fresh and full of love and curiosity. She smiled and said that is beautiful.

The playlist for today speaks to the awakening of attraction. We begin with the Sex Machine James Brown. then we move forward to this century with Avicii. David Guetta duets with Sia next. Adele and Martina McBride follow. @Pac does the penultimate number, finishing with Ariana Grande.

Honouring your attractions is needed if we are to live from Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. I sincerely believe that there is at least one awakened soul out there for us. Until next time, my dear friends.

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A Strong Soul Shines After Every Storm!!


I enjoyed the shamanic power of Kailash Kokopelli twice over the weekend.  Kailash has been running Sound Healings and Cacao ceremonies around the world since the 1990s. The Link to Kalaish’s World. the first event was a short healing at an Ecstatic Dance experience and the second one at this joyous event called The Alchemy of Joy which was a full-blown experience. The event was organised by a true lover of community spirit named Ivanna. I arrived with my pillow and lay down on the ground and was instantly offered a yoga mat so I didn’t get cold from the floor and the cherubic soul who offered it to me said to make sure I did not miss out on the free springwater, chai and soup.

Kailash offered us all his knowledge and experience about cacao ceremonies and how important it is to bless all the directions before consuming it. We then sang heart songs for about an hour to open our heart for the Sound Healing, they were beautiful and definitely opened my heartspace prior to the main ceremony.

I am a known snorer and have been woken up many a time for the said crime of disturbing others during Sound Healings, Kailash set up the intention so powerfully that there was no way I felt like entering the snoring state but went on a profound journey with my soul.

This has made me ask how does humanity relate to the soul across our different cultures, here are some of the ways:

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1. I love Mandi’s about details on her webpage:

HI.

I’m Mandi.

I used to be a U.S. Naval Officer.  Now I am a hippy artist and body positive activist living in New Zealand.

This website is where I house my personal work.  The work that bubbles up from the muse and me kind of just have to make it.   I make it for myself. and as a way of looking deeper at something that has caught my eye or tripped up my imagination.  I make it for the people of the world as a way of begging us to see past the superficial and to get down to the real meaty raw good stuff of our soul.

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2. How does one turn off that ever-consistent chatterbox: The Instrument to Heal Is The Soul.

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3. The beautiful sounds of the dual didgeridoos, the oldest wind instrument in the world sent healing vibes throughout the hall.

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4. Sha has an M.D. and a degree in traditional Chinese medicine. He is also a grandmaster of Tai Chi, was the lead acupuncturist for the World Health Organization, has been named Qigong Master of the Year and in 2006 was awarded the Martin Luther King Jr. Commemorative Commission Award for his humanitarian efforts. He teaches his patients that chanting mantras in Mandarin Chinese can heal their ailments.  He has also claimed to be able to replace organs using a technique he describes as a “soul software download”, and practices what he refers to as “soul healings”.

Sha’s practices have been deemed controversial in the west and their effectiveness has been called into question. An ophthalmologist who examined patients treated by Sha reported that none of their conditions was helped by his methods. He claims to treat cancer with “downloads”. A clear case of Eastern versus Western spiritual philosophies: The Voice Within.

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5. From Little Things/Steps, big things grow.

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6. On your tippy toes: Beautiful.

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7. And what would a discussion of healing the soul be without some Rumi?

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8. Each time I leave my city limits I am reminded of the power of nature: Colour of The Wind.

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9. Forgiveness is the ultimate form of healing and release.

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10. Socrates was a classical Greek (Athenian) philosopher credited as one of the founders of Western philosophy, and as being the first moral philosopher of the Western ethical tradition of thought. An enigmatic figure, he made no writings and is known chiefly through the accounts of classical writers writing after his lifetime: The Philosophy of Socrates.

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11. Indigenous wisdom is barely understood these days.

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12. All beautiful side effects: I’ve Got the Music In Me.

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13. Don’t forget that the inner work is the important type required.

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14. It seems that being your true self is magical and stuff these days: You Can Do Magic.

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15. And a final message from your soul after it has been healed.

So keep listening and singing those heart songs, your soul is listening.

The playlist today has two spoken word pieces, the first is from Carolyn Myss, the next two tunes are from Christine Aguilera, then some indigenous wisdom from Pocahontas. Socrates is next. Kiki dee does the penultimate tune and we finish with America: A Strong Soul Shines After Every Storm

I think the more we have of these events across the planet the sooner the ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included will be able to rise. Until next we meet. my dear friends:

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Judgement Day Is Coming!!


What does the title of this blog make you think of? The End of Days, in my case it was that I make judgements that stop me being able to be in the moment and feel what I am actually feeling moment to moment on an ongoing basis. This comes from a long history of having to KNOW what is going on and living in the belief that there is a certain way life should be especially in relationships.

I recently did this when dancing with a woman I would like to get to know a whole lot better. She made a request of me that my judgemental persona did not agree with. My People Pleasing identity did it anyway over the top of I don’t want to do this. It continued running me for three days until I had a discussion with my mentor. He pointed out that was I being in the moment of the request she had made of me or was I not being present and living inside the judgement I had made. My body shuddered as I realised the opportunity I had missed out on.

So how often as a society do we do this and what have we written about it over time? Here are a few of my favourites:

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1. How many times are we told this as children by our parents or teachers yet it doesn’t seem to sink in?

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2. Will Rogers provided an epigram: When I die, my epitaph, or whatever you call those signs on gravestones, is going to read: “I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn’t like.” I am so proud of that, I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved: It’s My Life.

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3. One could link this to many politicians as they lose their right to opinions of their own and must take on their parties beliefs and not truly act for the people who elected them.

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4. The three fingers pointing back under another name: Who You Are.

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5. He passed several years ago but the words of Wayne Dyer still hit home.

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6. Mainstream media is chock full of this: Say Something.

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7. Perhaps the most pervasive form of judgement, the silent passive-aggressive treatment.

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8. This reminds me of the famous Dalai Lama quote about are you really listening: Elastic Heart.

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9. Heartspace 101.

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10. Accepting what is and doing what it takes to have love present: Love and Compassion.

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11. Another way of saying it, is we judge the shit out of each other.

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12. Written 1900 years ago, these words are still totally relevant: The Lonely.

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13. Perfectionism, leading a mistake-free life, not following your dreams, more like letting your judgements rule your life.

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14. If people have to fit into your box, are you celebrating their uniqueness: Unique.

 

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15. And from the great Albert Camus, the final lesson. That hope we will stop judging others, the Buddhists call it enlightenment, do you have years to sit under a tree? All we can do is the best we can do not to be controlled by them each and every day.

My Essence /LifeForce is Unlimited Intimacy: when I enquire into the light of this, the shadows contained in my identity come out to play to have me learn the lessons I need to learn to cleanse my heartspace. It is an ongoing journey that I am willing to take:

Today’s playlist begins with one of Rock’s heartthrobs, John Bon Jovi. then a song I used on my previous blog, it’s so suitable for this topic too and it’s by Jessie J. Four of the remaining songs are pop diva’s, the first two being Christina Aguilera and then Sia. Our spoken-word piece is by His Holiness The Dalai Lama. We finish with Christina Perri and end with Sino: Judgement Day Is Coming.

Having my world ethos be Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included helps me when I am ravaged by the judgements my identity chooses to throw up at me on a daily basis. It reminds me of my big vision. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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You May Never Be Good Enough For Everybody!!!


Stage Two of writing about the shadow that comes with investigating possible opportunities in situations where you meet new and interesting women and you are deep in lacking confidence because you are listening to all those stories your identity has been telling you for years and years.

Self-criticism can be debilitating because when our criticism becomes internal, it can be very difficult to shake.

You know that little voice that chimes in when you screw up? The one that tells you you’re no good, or that you made a stupid decision, or that you can’t succeed? That’s the voice of selfcriticism. And you’d be surprised how often that little voice runs the show.

Marisa Peer of MindValley has a great suggestion for dealing with this form of criticism. She encourages you to change that niggling voice of self-doubt into your own personal cheerleader.

The first step is being able to recognize the negative self-talk when it’s in action. The second step? Flipping the commentary to something more positive.

Marisa suggests imagining what a supportive parent or teacher might tell you. Would they tell you that you’re no good and that you’re only going to screw it up? No. They’d tell you that you’re a rock star and that you should keep trying and that you’re smart enough to get this done.

“It’s okay to make mistakes because you learn,” explains Marisa. “It is okay for someone to point out your mistakes because you can get better. What’s not okay is to beat yourself up.”

Unfortunately, I did not do this Saturday at Mojo – The Dance of Connection, I got stuck in my identity and gave myself a good beating.

What do the masters say about self-confidence, lets have a look:

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1. Saturday night I failed Number One.

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2. Forgot some of these essential self-loving things Saturday: Hey You.

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3. Thich Nhat Hanh is one of our wisest.

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4. Goethe learnt this at an early age, earning royal recognition at the age of 25: Who You Are.

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5. Pride can be deemed to be negative or positive, most religions see it as the former and aim towards belief, in their god and yourself.

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6. I am all these things at times: This Is Me.

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7. In the book Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable: Transforming the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Dr Brené Brown, vulnerability is defined as “uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.” Brené says that “vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy and creativity.

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8. Fear or Love: Choose: Don’t Choose Out Of Fear.

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9. More about Fear.

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10. Be Okay for it to be Okay to be you: Be Yourself.

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11. Your dreams do not live inside your excuses.

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12. How good are you at resisting the world: Break Free.

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13. Self-Care 101.

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14. Written by the worlds greatest philosopher, Ms Unknown points to the magic of self-belief: Could It Be Magic.

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15. And we finish with a silent meditation.

I am empowered by Brene Browns take on self-confidence. “Being vulnerable doesn’t just require courage and self-confidence. It requires self-compassion. Having self-compassion has profound effects both internally and externally. Even showing compassion to others can’t actually be achieved unless you have compassion for yourself. “When you cannot ask for help without self-judgment, you are never really offering help without judgment,” Brown says. “Because you have attached judgment to asking for help.”

This concept extends beyond helping. Whether it’s related to health, career or relationships, judging something about yourself means that you will always judge that same thing in others. For example, you must be able to accept and receive love before you can truly provide it.

Though 85 per cent of adults say they are capable of giving and receiving love, more than 30 per cent of men and women fear to be alone and tend to lose themselves in relationships. Reading Brene’s research and insights make me ponder where I am at the moment with all of it.

The playlist today contains that song from The Greatest Showman. We begin with Pink Floyd, followed by pop diva Jessie J. Then that song, Next is the Spoken Word from Jim Carrey. A fine rock song from Audioslave follows. The penultimate tune is from Ariana Grande, and we finish with disco diva Donna Summer: You May Never Be Good Enough For Everybody.

I feel that I am in the shadowland of the journey of having Love and Respect For All, Everyone Included be the world paradigm. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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When we have each other, We have Everything!!


Defining family can be a tough thing as the word “family” alone is a powerful word that conjures up multiple different meanings and emotions. How does one put into words all that define how they feel when it comes to what family is?

Oftentimes people will say a family includes a mother, father, and children all living together under one roof. Some might say a family can be anything that involves love.

Webster’s dictionary defines a family as “a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.” This definition is a good starting point when trying to define what family consists of, however, there are modern-day definitions that redefine what family is today. Yet, do these definitions define what family means to you? What comes to mind when you think of what family means?

Whether it is a mother and father together, a single mom or dad with kids, or possibly your friends that help to fill the void that your biological family wasn’t able to fulfil, the word family is a powerful word. These are people that surround you with care, concern, and love. These are the people who see you, who understand what you are going through and through it all, they stand by your side loving you through life.

For me, it includes my three beloved siblings, Hugo, Ruth and Jann and my extended dance community friends. Some say I am extremely lucky that I have been able to get on with my siblings for such an extended period of time as often people have to replace their siblings with others as it just hasn’t happened that way.

How has society spoken about that unit that takes our attention on a daily basis, here are some of my favourite things:

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1. Its all in the roots that keep us connected across time as we go in our different directions.

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2. For me, this has always been my siblings and when they were alive, my parents: We are Family.

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3. Find these ones, they are your family.

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4. But can you have both, I’m lucky that I do: Respect.

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5. Does family include the quality of being loyal – “his extreme loyalty to the Crown”. A strong feeling of support or allegiance.

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6. And from what some of my friends have said to me, they cannot even spend time under the same roof, it makes me feel so lucky: True Colours.
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7. George Bernard Shaw (26 July 1856 – 2 November 1950), known at his insistence simply as Bernard Shaw, was an Irish playwright, critic, polemicist and political activist. His influence on Western theatre, culture and politics extended from the 1880s to his death and beyond.
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8. My siblings and I have made that choice on those days of struggle: Someone Like You.
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9. I think that this may have a lot to do with how family relationships work out, imagine if we did this all our lives?
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10. Find the Others: I Choose You.
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11. They could be called the 12 Commandments of relationship.
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12. And they were very sharp: I Don’t Feel Like Dancing.
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13. But always be willing to ask.
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14. You don’t remember the size of the house, later on, you remember the memories that occurred in them: Make Me Smile.
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15. And we finish with a wide choice you can take your definition of family.
Childhood is supposed to be fun and carefree; but, the truth is, even little kids have stress, anxiety, and other issues affecting their mental well being. That’s why it’s so important to foster healthy habits early on and encourage resilience and self-esteem from day one. I reached out for a few top tips to help you with your Family journey.
Focus on feelings: 
Let children make mistakes:
Let children make decisions:
Nurture them:
Lead by example and take care of your own emotional well-being:
I’m not sure if all of these things happened in my life so I count myself lucky that my family has turned out so well.
Some drippy songs in the playlist this week: We begin with Sister Sledge, then the Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin. My favourite version of this song by Kasey Chambers is next, followed by Adele. Then 3 S’es finish it off: Sarah Bareilles, The Scissor Sisters and Steve Harley: When We Have Each Other, We Have Everything!!
From all that is written about families across the net, we have a little way to go to fulfil my world paradigm of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until next we meet, my dear friends.
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The Things They See Are Not Just Remembered, They are Soulfood!!


On Thursday night I had the choice of attending two events, the first was the 3PBS volunteers party, free drinks and free food for volunteering over the radiothon and the second was the Warriors of Love MasterClass in a Yurt in far distant Warrandyte. I chose the latter, as I had a calling to explore my standing towards my reaction to my burgeoning eldership. See, I do not live the life my newsfeed says I should be interested in. I receive ads for river cruises in Europe with my fellow retirees and purchasing a residence in a retirement village according to their algorithms. Instead, I make chai and crew for conscious dance and attend breakthrough sexuality week-long courses. So that was what I chose for my personal ceremony, to land the vitality of being an elder of the conscious community of Melbourne.

I chose to vibrate the energy through my body from the top to the bottom and then from the bottom to the top, the energy is that of the earthsong I have recently come in contact with after an encounter with an indigenous elder. I also chose to lie on the earth and be as close to it as possible. It was an impressive ceremony and calmed down my stories that have been entering my space recently.

On the drive home I began to think about how society sees the importance of ceremony these days. These are a few of the quotes regarding the matter:

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1. In our ever so busy self-gratification lifestyle, the advice of If you have not got time to pray, the first thing you should do is pray.

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2. Starting with The Teachings of Don Juan in 1968, Castaneda wrote a series of books that describe his training in shamanism, particularly with a group whose lineage descended from the Toltecs. The books, narrated in the first person, relate his experiences under the tutelage of a man that Castaneda claimed was a Yaqui “Man of Knowledge” named Don Juan Matus. His 12 books have sold more than 28 million copies in 17 languages. Critics have suggested that they are works of fiction; supporters claim the books are either true or at least valuable works of philosophy: Work It.

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3. Saying things and actually doing them, two different things, one reason we need a ceremony.

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4. What if we could use each of our mistakes as a life-altering ceremony: Maya on Mistakes.

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5. Eleanor on dreaming, not just a POTUS wife, a great philosopher.

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6. In Warriors of Love, we call these states Identity and Essence: Growing Pains.

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7. Why I wished to do the ceremony on Eldership, biological age is relative.

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8. Even with different parts of yourself: Ceremony.

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9. You deserve to fulfil your dreams.

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10.” the safest general characterization of the European philosophical tradition is that it consists of a series of footnotes to Plato: Careless Whisper.

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11. And they call them their ceremonies.

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12. Ceremonies never cease in your life, they are just a new step to getting better, not to fulfil someone else’s label of being the best:  Proof Me Wrong.

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13. Amen!!

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14. More Maya, Fuck, I love this woman: Love her Life.

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15. Our final lesson about ceremony comes from our ally, Google.

Faith in what my heart tells me is a ceremony these days means a lot to me, they may be ancient kirtan ceremonies. listening to a meditation by a valued mentor, walking in the eternity that is nature, I get to choose what I call a ceremony and am doing it more and more these days. it does not even have to include others.

Today’s playlist contains one of the great friendships. We begin with Missy Elliott, then Oprah and Maya. Then move forward in time to pop diva, Allessia Cara. Radiohead is followed by George Michael. Some background music for tapdance by David pack and we end by revisiting Maya and Oprah.

I think a paramount part of the ceremony is to include Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included, Until we meet again my dear friends.

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Incredible Things Can Be Done Simply!!


Had a busy solstice weekend, crewed on Dancing Freedom Friday night, then Winter Solstice Chanting Meditation on Saturday but have chosen to reflect on the event I attended on Sunday that my friends Robbie, Maz and Paul ran called Own Your Desires. Here is the blurb for it:

Do you ever feel attracted to someone but fear rejection? Is it challenging approaching people you are attracted to? Do you struggle to ask for what you really want? We have all had these experiences….as human beings, we have hopes, needs, dreams and desires. This is a journey in exploring and resolving these situations in a safe, experiential space. This is an opportunity to dive deeper into these thoughts and emotions. A chance to unravel old habits and ways of being. There will be exercises and practices for you to discover and develop communications skills, a reframing of limiting beliefs and empowering you to own your desires.

What will this experiential journey give you?
-Freeing yourself from false expectations and imagination.
-Freedom and power to approach people and own your desires.
-Building courage and learning how to express how you truly feel.
-Developing self-awareness and harnessing your truth.
-Empowering yourself to express your affection for another.
-The opportunity to share your true self with another.

At 64 I was the elder of the group which had quite an age spread, the exercises were short and sharp experiences in asking for what you desired with time building up in each experience. There were also sessions were people could share their experiences. Confidentiality does not allow me to share anyone’s but my own.

I noticed I had judgements on what each person would be willing to do and was often surprised when this did not turn out to be the result of the request. Out, damn judgements.

Given this, how has society related to desires over the centuries, here are a few takes at it:

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Coventry Kersey Dighton Patmore was an 18th Century English poet and critic best known for The Angel in the House, his narrative poem about the Victorian ideal of a happy marriage. I think desires in the 21st Century may be a little different.

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2. One distinction was to align your mind, your heart and your sex, all essential areas of your soul, methinks: Everybody Dance.

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3. Desire versus Love, an eternal conversation!!!

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4. Breath was an important part of the process, Dan Brule is a breathwork master who makes the following statement: Our Breathing is the only system in the body that is both completely automatic and also under our control. That is not an accident of nature, not a coincidence. That is an opportunity, an invitation, to take part in our own nature – our own evolution: Breathin

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5. The long and windy road of placing your dreams and desires in the hands of others.

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6. It looks like a scene from Marry Poppins so, that word: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

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7. How often do we leave our desires out so that our lives appear organized without ripples on the water?

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8. Do you purposefully bring your desires to life on a daily basis, you belong with these people if you do: Love Shack.

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9. As I found out I probably fit in the latter group when it comes to my desires.

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10. Grateful for both the Yes’s and the No’s, need to work on the latter: Kind and Generous.

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11. A bucket is just another word, as are To-do lists, both can prevent you from actually living in the moment.

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12. From the man who gave us the bliss distinction, here is another classic that points to why we may not be fulfilling all our desires: Staying Alive.

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13. It’s in the tax area our desires live.

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14. As Tantra came from India I had to include one image of a wise Indian guru or it would just not seem right: Slave To The Rhythm.

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15. And Oprah points out in our final lesson, that desires should excite you at first as it is that, that will keep you focussed.

I feel sated after the experience and acknowledge that Robbie, Maz and Paul delivered full value with love and compassion, they worked well as a facilitation team, I will be back.

Today’s playlist contains some musical royalty: We begin with funksters Chic, then shoot forward to pop diva, Ariana Grande. Then that word and song from Mary Poppins followed by a jump around track by the B-52’s. The superb voice of Natalie Merchant is next, then pop royalty The Bee Gees.  We finish with the always sultry Grace Jones: Incredible Things Can Be Done Simply!!

My major desire is that the world lives from this paradigm: Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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