Judgement Day Is Coming!!


What does the title of this blog make you think of? The End of Days, in my case it was that I make judgements that stop me being able to be in the moment and feel what I am actually feeling moment to moment on an ongoing basis. This comes from a long history of having to KNOW what is going on and living in the belief that there is a certain way life should be especially in relationships.

I recently did this when dancing with a woman I would like to get to know a whole lot better. She made a request of me that my judgemental persona did not agree with. My People Pleasing identity did it anyway over the top of I don’t want to do this. It continued running me for three days until I had a discussion with my mentor. He pointed out that was I being in the moment of the request she had made of me or was I not being present and living inside the judgement I had made. My body shuddered as I realised the opportunity I had missed out on.

So how often as a society do we do this and what have we written about it over time? Here are a few of my favourites:

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1. How many times are we told this as children by our parents or teachers yet it doesn’t seem to sink in?

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2. Will Rogers provided an epigram: When I die, my epitaph, or whatever you call those signs on gravestones, is going to read: “I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn’t like.” I am so proud of that, I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved: It’s My Life.

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3. One could link this to many politicians as they lose their right to opinions of their own and must take on their parties beliefs and not truly act for the people who elected them.

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4. The three fingers pointing back under another name: Who You Are.

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5. He passed several years ago but the words of Wayne Dyer still hit home.

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6. Mainstream media is chock full of this: Say Something.

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7. Perhaps the most pervasive form of judgement, the silent passive-aggressive treatment.

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8. This reminds me of the famous Dalai Lama quote about are you really listening: Elastic Heart.

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9. Heartspace 101.

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10. Accepting what is and doing what it takes to have love present: Love and Compassion.

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11. Another way of saying it, is we judge the shit out of each other.

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12. Written 1900 years ago, these words are still totally relevant: The Lonely.

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13. Perfectionism, leading a mistake-free life, not following your dreams, more like letting your judgements rule your life.

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14. If people have to fit into your box, are you celebrating their uniqueness: Unique.

 

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15. And from the great Albert Camus, the final lesson. That hope we will stop judging others, the Buddhists call it enlightenment, do you have years to sit under a tree? All we can do is the best we can do not to be controlled by them each and every day.

My Essence /LifeForce is Unlimited Intimacy: when I enquire into the light of this, the shadows contained in my identity come out to play to have me learn the lessons I need to learn to cleanse my heartspace. It is an ongoing journey that I am willing to take:

Today’s playlist begins with one of Rock’s heartthrobs, John Bon Jovi. then a song I used on my previous blog, it’s so suitable for this topic too and it’s by Jessie J. Four of the remaining songs are pop diva’s, the first two being Christina Aguilera and then Sia. Our spoken-word piece is by His Holiness The Dalai Lama. We finish with Christina Perri and end with Sino: Judgement Day Is Coming.

Having my world ethos be Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included helps me when I am ravaged by the judgements my identity chooses to throw up at me on a daily basis. It reminds me of my big vision. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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You May Never Be Good Enough For Everybody!!!


Stage Two of writing about the shadow that comes with investigating possible opportunities in situations where you meet new and interesting women and you are deep in lacking confidence because you are listening to all those stories your identity has been telling you for years and years.

Self-criticism can be debilitating because when our criticism becomes internal, it can be very difficult to shake.

You know that little voice that chimes in when you screw up? The one that tells you you’re no good, or that you made a stupid decision, or that you can’t succeed? That’s the voice of selfcriticism. And you’d be surprised how often that little voice runs the show.

Marisa Peer of MindValley has a great suggestion for dealing with this form of criticism. She encourages you to change that niggling voice of self-doubt into your own personal cheerleader.

The first step is being able to recognize the negative self-talk when it’s in action. The second step? Flipping the commentary to something more positive.

Marisa suggests imagining what a supportive parent or teacher might tell you. Would they tell you that you’re no good and that you’re only going to screw it up? No. They’d tell you that you’re a rock star and that you should keep trying and that you’re smart enough to get this done.

“It’s okay to make mistakes because you learn,” explains Marisa. “It is okay for someone to point out your mistakes because you can get better. What’s not okay is to beat yourself up.”

Unfortunately, I did not do this Saturday at Mojo – The Dance of Connection, I got stuck in my identity and gave myself a good beating.

What do the masters say about self-confidence, lets have a look:

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1. Saturday night I failed Number One.

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2. Forgot some of these essential self-loving things Saturday: Hey You.

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3. Thich Nhat Hanh is one of our wisest.

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4. Goethe learnt this at an early age, earning royal recognition at the age of 25: Who You Are.

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5. Pride can be deemed to be negative or positive, most religions see it as the former and aim towards belief, in their god and yourself.

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6. I am all these things at times: This Is Me.

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7. In the book Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable: Transforming the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Dr Brené Brown, vulnerability is defined as “uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.” Brené says that “vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy and creativity.

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8. Fear or Love: Choose: Don’t Choose Out Of Fear.

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9. More about Fear.

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10. Be Okay for it to be Okay to be you: Be Yourself.

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11. Your dreams do not live inside your excuses.

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12. How good are you at resisting the world: Break Free.

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13. Self-Care 101.

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14. Written by the worlds greatest philosopher, Ms Unknown points to the magic of self-belief: Could It Be Magic.

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15. And we finish with a silent meditation.

I am empowered by Brene Browns take on self-confidence. “Being vulnerable doesn’t just require courage and self-confidence. It requires self-compassion. Having self-compassion has profound effects both internally and externally. Even showing compassion to others can’t actually be achieved unless you have compassion for yourself. “When you cannot ask for help without self-judgment, you are never really offering help without judgment,” Brown says. “Because you have attached judgment to asking for help.”

This concept extends beyond helping. Whether it’s related to health, career or relationships, judging something about yourself means that you will always judge that same thing in others. For example, you must be able to accept and receive love before you can truly provide it.

Though 85 per cent of adults say they are capable of giving and receiving love, more than 30 per cent of men and women fear to be alone and tend to lose themselves in relationships. Reading Brene’s research and insights make me ponder where I am at the moment with all of it.

The playlist today contains that song from The Greatest Showman. We begin with Pink Floyd, followed by pop diva Jessie J. Then that song, Next is the Spoken Word from Jim Carrey. A fine rock song from Audioslave follows. The penultimate tune is from Ariana Grande, and we finish with disco diva Donna Summer: You May Never Be Good Enough For Everybody.

I feel that I am in the shadowland of the journey of having Love and Respect For All, Everyone Included be the world paradigm. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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When we have each other, We have Everything!!


Defining family can be a tough thing as the word “family” alone is a powerful word that conjures up multiple different meanings and emotions. How does one put into words all that define how they feel when it comes to what family is?

Oftentimes people will say a family includes a mother, father, and children all living together under one roof. Some might say a family can be anything that involves love.

Webster’s dictionary defines a family as “a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.” This definition is a good starting point when trying to define what family consists of, however, there are modern-day definitions that redefine what family is today. Yet, do these definitions define what family means to you? What comes to mind when you think of what family means?

Whether it is a mother and father together, a single mom or dad with kids, or possibly your friends that help to fill the void that your biological family wasn’t able to fulfil, the word family is a powerful word. These are people that surround you with care, concern, and love. These are the people who see you, who understand what you are going through and through it all, they stand by your side loving you through life.

For me, it includes my three beloved siblings, Hugo, Ruth and Jann and my extended dance community friends. Some say I am extremely lucky that I have been able to get on with my siblings for such an extended period of time as often people have to replace their siblings with others as it just hasn’t happened that way.

How has society spoken about that unit that takes our attention on a daily basis, here are some of my favourite things:

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1. Its all in the roots that keep us connected across time as we go in our different directions.

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2. For me, this has always been my siblings and when they were alive, my parents: We are Family.

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3. Find these ones, they are your family.

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4. But can you have both, I’m lucky that I do: Respect.

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5. Does family include the quality of being loyal – “his extreme loyalty to the Crown”. A strong feeling of support or allegiance.

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6. And from what some of my friends have said to me, they cannot even spend time under the same roof, it makes me feel so lucky: True Colours.
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7. George Bernard Shaw (26 July 1856 – 2 November 1950), known at his insistence simply as Bernard Shaw, was an Irish playwright, critic, polemicist and political activist. His influence on Western theatre, culture and politics extended from the 1880s to his death and beyond.
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8. My siblings and I have made that choice on those days of struggle: Someone Like You.
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9. I think that this may have a lot to do with how family relationships work out, imagine if we did this all our lives?
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10. Find the Others: I Choose You.
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11. They could be called the 12 Commandments of relationship.
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12. And they were very sharp: I Don’t Feel Like Dancing.
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13. But always be willing to ask.
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14. You don’t remember the size of the house, later on, you remember the memories that occurred in them: Make Me Smile.
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15. And we finish with a wide choice you can take your definition of family.
Childhood is supposed to be fun and carefree; but, the truth is, even little kids have stress, anxiety, and other issues affecting their mental well being. That’s why it’s so important to foster healthy habits early on and encourage resilience and self-esteem from day one. I reached out for a few top tips to help you with your Family journey.
Focus on feelings: 
Let children make mistakes:
Let children make decisions:
Nurture them:
Lead by example and take care of your own emotional well-being:
I’m not sure if all of these things happened in my life so I count myself lucky that my family has turned out so well.
Some drippy songs in the playlist this week: We begin with Sister Sledge, then the Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin. My favourite version of this song by Kasey Chambers is next, followed by Adele. Then 3 S’es finish it off: Sarah Bareilles, The Scissor Sisters and Steve Harley: When We Have Each Other, We Have Everything!!
From all that is written about families across the net, we have a little way to go to fulfil my world paradigm of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until next we meet, my dear friends.
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Incredible Things Can Be Done Simply!!


Had a busy solstice weekend, crewed on Dancing Freedom Friday night, then Winter Solstice Chanting Meditation on Saturday but have chosen to reflect on the event I attended on Sunday that my friends Robbie, Maz and Paul ran called Own Your Desires. Here is the blurb for it:

Do you ever feel attracted to someone but fear rejection? Is it challenging approaching people you are attracted to? Do you struggle to ask for what you really want? We have all had these experiences….as human beings, we have hopes, needs, dreams and desires. This is a journey in exploring and resolving these situations in a safe, experiential space. This is an opportunity to dive deeper into these thoughts and emotions. A chance to unravel old habits and ways of being. There will be exercises and practices for you to discover and develop communications skills, a reframing of limiting beliefs and empowering you to own your desires.

What will this experiential journey give you?
-Freeing yourself from false expectations and imagination.
-Freedom and power to approach people and own your desires.
-Building courage and learning how to express how you truly feel.
-Developing self-awareness and harnessing your truth.
-Empowering yourself to express your affection for another.
-The opportunity to share your true self with another.

At 64 I was the elder of the group which had quite an age spread, the exercises were short and sharp experiences in asking for what you desired with time building up in each experience. There were also sessions were people could share their experiences. Confidentiality does not allow me to share anyone’s but my own.

I noticed I had judgements on what each person would be willing to do and was often surprised when this did not turn out to be the result of the request. Out, damn judgements.

Given this, how has society related to desires over the centuries, here are a few takes at it:

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Coventry Kersey Dighton Patmore was an 18th Century English poet and critic best known for The Angel in the House, his narrative poem about the Victorian ideal of a happy marriage. I think desires in the 21st Century may be a little different.

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2. One distinction was to align your mind, your heart and your sex, all essential areas of your soul, methinks: Everybody Dance.

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3. Desire versus Love, an eternal conversation!!!

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4. Breath was an important part of the process, Dan Brule is a breathwork master who makes the following statement: Our Breathing is the only system in the body that is both completely automatic and also under our control. That is not an accident of nature, not a coincidence. That is an opportunity, an invitation, to take part in our own nature – our own evolution: Breathin

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5. The long and windy road of placing your dreams and desires in the hands of others.

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6. It looks like a scene from Marry Poppins so, that word: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

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7. How often do we leave our desires out so that our lives appear organized without ripples on the water?

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8. Do you purposefully bring your desires to life on a daily basis, you belong with these people if you do: Love Shack.

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9. As I found out I probably fit in the latter group when it comes to my desires.

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10. Grateful for both the Yes’s and the No’s, need to work on the latter: Kind and Generous.

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11. A bucket is just another word, as are To-do lists, both can prevent you from actually living in the moment.

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12. From the man who gave us the bliss distinction, here is another classic that points to why we may not be fulfilling all our desires: Staying Alive.

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13. It’s in the tax area our desires live.

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14. As Tantra came from India I had to include one image of a wise Indian guru or it would just not seem right: Slave To The Rhythm.

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15. And Oprah points out in our final lesson, that desires should excite you at first as it is that, that will keep you focussed.

I feel sated after the experience and acknowledge that Robbie, Maz and Paul delivered full value with love and compassion, they worked well as a facilitation team, I will be back.

Today’s playlist contains some musical royalty: We begin with funksters Chic, then shoot forward to pop diva, Ariana Grande. Then that word and song from Mary Poppins followed by a jump around track by the B-52’s. The superb voice of Natalie Merchant is next, then pop royalty The Bee Gees.  We finish with the always sultry Grace Jones: Incredible Things Can Be Done Simply!!

My major desire is that the world lives from this paradigm: Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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Leaving With A Lighter Load!!


My friend Emma invited me to her partner David’s choir Gloriana’s performance of Path of Miracles on Sunday: Here’s another Choir doing some of it… The music was as evocative and haunting as my friends who have braved the Camino say the courage it takes to complete it requires. What inspires people to walk 700 kilometres when they have never done anything like that in their lives before? My friend Marc says it was a major event in his life, divorce proceedings, my other friends Kavisha and Andy that it was a journey of faith. So what has the Camino community said about it over the years, here are a few sayings they came up with:

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1. Both of them said it was when they stopped listening to the logical no answers from their mind and what was possible in their hearts that saw them arrive in Spain.

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2. You could possibly get lost walking 700 kilometres in the fields of Spain. But all the people I have spoken to about it, say what they learnt about themselves is what had them complete it: Find Your Way Back.

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3. Norman Vincent Peale (May 31, 1898 – December 24, 1993) was an American minister and author known for his work in popularizing the concept of positive thinking, especially through his best-selling book The Power of Positive Thinking. I don’t know if he ever walked The Camino but this would be a useful tattoo to have done before you commenced your trek, I think.

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4. And it continues well after finishing if the looks on my friends’ faces apres arriving back from Spain were anything to go by: Shiny Happy People.

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5. This is one of my favourite all-time quotes, I can see how it would relate to The Camino as blisters miraculously appeared on your feet.

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6. This is a post by a younger Camino trekker: I am 21, will be 22 when I walk. I think it’s great being around older people, 30 or 70 years old. They have a different view of their country than someone in their teens/the early twenties(when it comes to telling stories it makes them more interesting) They will be able to share more experiences and their stories with you than most 18-year-olds would be. I know what you’re saying, but I wouldn’t be worried about it. You might not have much in common with a 60-year-old or even a 30-year-old but I think that’s part of the journey, to understand one another, appreciate our differences, and to share this one magical experience with people all over the world of all ages of all backgrounds of all classes. :) I think it’s good to feel out of place once in a while.: Roam.

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7. By the worlds greatest quote writer, Ms Unknown, comes this mighty insightful offering.

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8. Deciding to walk the Camino, is that when you give up all your I can’t do it stories: Walk a Mile In My Shoes.

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9. http://www.womenoftheway2011.com is a wonderful website dedicated to a  brilliant doco that was made and information for our sisters who take the journey.

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10. I’m sure you would get a lot of time each day to ponder this as you stroll through the Spanish countryside: Long Way Home.

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11. Grace is from Canada, she has a Pinterest site called Discover Ideas about No Way.

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12. And it is not only written about in one language: El Camino.

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13. Am I off to The Camino, Maybe?

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14. Janette has written a free book of poems about the Camino called: Camino Quotes and Poems – The Meaning of The Journey, it’s downloadable, word magic: Listen To Your Heart.

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15. Google won’t give me the exact answer if Tom Petty actually walked The Camino, but this quote from him appears all over it. A worthy lesson to finish on.

So these are some of the things and reasons that have had people walk and comment on the sacred journey that is known as El Camino de Santiago (The Way of St. James). Music, poetry and quotes, all point towards the transformational experience it seems to be.

Today’s playlist is mainly made up of Rock groups. We begin in the ’80s with Jefferson Starship, REM and the B52’s follow. Back even further to Joe South before returning to our current time with Garth Emery. Our Intercultural offering is The Gypsy Kings and we finish with Roxette: Leaving With A Lighter Load.

From the 21 years old’s offering I sense that El Camino de Santiago fits right in with my world paradigm of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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It is What It Is, No Means No!!


I went to a social occasion where a very lively conversation on consent was held recently. In my mind, this does not happen nearly enough in our instant gratification society, where things seem to be assumed as we do not have the time to discuss what works for all parties involved in interactions these days.

To me, evidence of this in the level of divorce, domestic violence and sexual assaults that take place daily around the planet. How different would communication be if we took the time necessary to set respectful boundaries for our social interactions?

How has the world related to gaining consent over the centuries, here are some takes at it:

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1. Possibly the most patriarchal argument that bad men use in cases of sexual assault, that the way she dressed caused them to act that way, not their inherent evil.

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2. This is becoming more widespread day by day, in our country recently our Federal police raided our national broadcaster in the name of national security, how to promote fear in the population 101: You Say,

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3. In granting people consent, you take away their inferiority complex.

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4. It is a legal contract, everything else within it needs to be based on open communication: Till It Happens To You.

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5. Apathy has its price.

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6. And it has a name, sexual assault: Don’t Touch My Body.

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7. As the title of this blog says, No means No.

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8. Unfortunately, this seems to be the direction the world is heading in Roll Jordan Roll.

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9. Here is the opposing view when it is personal, not universal.

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10. The state does not get to oppress their citizens unless the citizens allow it: Get Up, Stand Up.

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11. Unfortunately, men may lie to get into government though.

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12. What do you consent to in your life, creeping or soaring: Your Love.

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13. Consenting to a cause where you are willing to die, that’s rare these days.

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14. It isn’t only humans that require consent, remember how our beloved moggies behave when we move them: Best Kittycat Song.

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15. MLK pointing out why consent is so important.

At the end of the discussion we had set what were basic premises for consent in the area we were discussing, it felt great.

The playlist today begins with two pop diva’s, Laura Daigle and Lady Gaga. Then a spoken word piece followed by a choir. Then two great classics from Jackie Wilson and Bob Marley. We close with a number from a cat: It Is What It Is, No Means No.

This is an area society needs to do a lot of work on if we are to live from the world paradigm, Love and Respect For All, Everyone Included. Until next time we meet, dear friends.

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We Don’t Make Mistakes, Just Happy Little Accidents!!


I go around to my sister Ruth’s, I call her Ruthie place on most Tuesdays for family connection. It comes out of a practice we used to do of taking our dear mum who passed at the end of 2017 op shopping, think thrift shops for the US nearly every Tuesday for seven years. She advised me that she had visited St. Arnaud, one of the towns we sent 4 years during our childhood. This was 50 years ago, and for some inexplicable reason, I remembered it used to be called The New Bendigo goldfields and that the only remaining item of that name was a derelict cemetery 10 km outside town on the Donald road. Mind you, I have not been there for 30 plus years. I am such a research nerd, no fact, however small leaves my grey matter.

We began talking about our memories of the place, our friends’ names, the local pool and then for some reason I moved onto the mistakes I had made. This is not a complete list, but here goes: 1. Setting the lounge room chimney on fire so that the Fire Brigade had to be called to put it out. 2. Setting the paddock behind our house on fire with matches and lying about it, yes the fire brigade had to come again, who’s the closet pyromaniac. 3. Sinking the other rafts in the Scout regatta by putting holes in their drums with a hammer and nail punch, we were quite inventive with this, I don’t know how we weren’t thrown out. My sister asked me why would you do things like that, I have contemplated it and come up with the devil in me was looking for an escape clause.

What do mistakes cost us and how has society looked at it, here we go:

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1. I have never lit a fire again in my life, I say I am terrible at it.

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2. The pyromaniac in me needed a couple of lessons: Firestarter.

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3. I have come to the realisation that mistakes are just our shadow side talking to us, sometimes in funny ways.

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4. This appealed to the People Pleaser in me: U Can’t Touch This.

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5. Mistakes are definitely an essential part of our formative education.

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6. Mistakes, your own personal Power Ranger: Gangsta’s Paradise.

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7. Regarding the fire stuff,  luckily, both of my parents were loving and understanding.

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8. Marilyn’s mistake: messing with the POTUS: Happy Birthday, Mr President.

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9. By the greatest quoter, Ms Unknown, but a beauty.

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10. How many of us are guilty of this: Rehab.

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11. Sofia Villani ScicoloneDame of the Grand Cross, OMRI  born 20 September 1934), known professionally as Sophia Loren is an Italian film actress and singer. She is one of the last surviving stars from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Encouraged to enrol in acting lessons after entering a beauty pageant, Loren began her film career at age 16 in 1950. She appeared in several bit parts and minor roles in the early part of the decade until her five-picture contract with Paramount in 1956 launched her international career. Notable film appearances around this time include The Pride and the PassionHouseboat, and It Started in Naples.

Her talents as an actress were not recognised until her performance as Cesira in Vittorio De Sica’s Two Women; Loren’s performance earned her the Academy Award for Best Actress in 1962 and made her the first actress to win an Oscar for a foreign-language performance. She holds the record for having earned six David di Donatello Awards for Best Actress: Two WomenYesterday, Today and TomorrowMarriage Italian Style (for which she was nominated for a second Oscar); SunflowerThe Voyage; and A Special Day. After starting a family in the early 1970s, Loren chose to make only occasional film appearances. In later years, she has appeared in American films such as Grumpier Old Men (1995) and Nine (2009).

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12. One, Two, Three, begin the forgiveness: Courage.

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13. If you have people around you who do this, time to say goodbye to them.

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14. Do Buddhist monks doing a three-year meditation retreat in a cave make mistakes: Hell Yes: Mirror.

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15. From this list comes the message, your job is to learn.

Did I stop making mistakes after we moved from St. Arnaud nee New Bendigo, FUCK NO!! I am 64 and am sure I still have several hundred to go, but they all will be part of the beautiful journey we call life.

The playlist rocks tonight. The Prodigy smashes you First, Two rap icons in MC Hammer and Coolio follow next, then a throwback with a tune by Marilyn Monroe. Amy Winehouse follows with the penultimate piece being the spoken word by Bruce Lee, in Chinese with subtitles. We finish with more rap from Little Wayne and Bruno Mars. Enjoy, I did creating it: We Don’t Make Mistakes, Just Happy Little Accidents.

So mistakes, all the more reason we need to embrace my world paradigm, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until Next time, my dear friends.

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