Never tell people how to do Things, Tell them what to Do.


This list is from John C. Maxwell’s excellent book: The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Get It Here.

What would happen if a top expert with more than thirty years of leadership experience was willing to distil everything he had learned about leadership into a handful of life-changing principles just for you? It would change your life! John C. Maxwell has done exactly that in “21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership”. He has combined insights learned from his thirty-plus years of leadership successes and occasional mistakes with observations from the worlds of business, politics, sports, religion, and military conflict. The result is a revealing study of leadership delivered as only a communicator like Maxwell can. Here is the list:

THE 21 LAWS OF LEADERSHIP

1. The Law of the Lid. There’s a lid to your potential; it’s determined by your leadership ability. Therefore, expand your leadership capacity and expand your ability to impact the world.

2. The Law of Influence. As Maxwell says a number of times throughout the book, “The true measure of leadership is influence—nothing more, nothing less.”

3. The Law of Process. We can’t snap our fingers and become great leaders overnight. Maxwell tells us: “Leadership develops daily, not in a day.” 

4. The Law of Navigation. Steering the ship is relatively easy. Leaders chart the course—seeing where they want to go and charting the most effective course to get there.

5. The Law of Addition. Leaders serve. They focus on creating value for others. It’s not so much “What’s in it for me?” but “How can I serve?” That’s the law of addition.

6. The Law of Solid Ground. Maxwell tells us that trust is the foundation of leadership. We must stand on the solid ground of solid character—living with integrity, being trustworthy.

7. The Law of Respect. People “naturally follow leaders stronger than themselves.” We must cultivate our strength if we want people to respect us and be willing to follow our lead.

8. The Law of Intuition. As Emerson says, we must trust ourselves—“every heart vibrates to that iron string.” As a mentor of mine once said, “Trust yourself. Always.”

9. The Law of Magnetism. Who you ARE is who you will attract. Want to attract great people? BE GREAT. That’s the law of magnetism.

10. The Law of Connection. We must connect with others. Maxwell tells us, “Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand.”

11. The Law of Inner Circle. Our potential as leaders is determined by those closest to us. Whose in your inner circle?

12. The Law of Empowerment. You need to be confident enough to give power to others. Trust yourself and trust your team to crush it.

13. The Law of the Picture. People will do what they see. We need to create a “picture” of what awesome looks like which inspires people to follow our lead. Embody your ideals.

14. The Law of Buy-In. You have a great vision. Fantastic. (And essential.) But know this: People buy into YOU, the leader before they buy into the vision.

15. The Law of Victory. Victory. Leaders are FIERCELY committed to winning. Period. That relentless pursuit of victory is essential. (We’ll chat about this more as well.)

16. The Law of Big Mo. Mr Momentum. Is a very close friend of effective leaders. We need to create (and celebrate!) little wins—always remembering that progress is uber-powerful.

17. The Law of Priorities. It’s not enough to be busy. We need to be effective. Leaders take the time to properly line up their dominoes and focus on what’s most important.

18. The Law of Sacrifice. The higher you go, the more you need to be willing to give up. Leaders trade-off freedom with responsibility.

19. The Law of Timing. As Jim Collins says in Great By Choice, not all moments are created equal. Leaders know when to lean in and seize the moment.

20. The Law of Explosive Growth. Maxwell tells us about “leader’s math”—if you want to multiply your growth, create more LEADERS not followers.

21. The Law of Legacy. What do you want people to say at your funeral? Leaders keep this vision firmly in mind and dedicate their lives to its fulfilment. A quick inventory: Favourites? Strengths? Weaknesses?

“In a study of ninety leaders from a variety of fields, leadership experts Warren Bennis and Burt Nanus made a discovery about the relationship between growth and leadership: ‘It is the capacity to develop and improve their skills that distinguish leaders from their followers.’ Successful leaders are learners. And the learning process is ongoing, a result of self-discipline and perseverance. The goal each day must be to get a little better, to build on the previous day’s progress.

So how many of the Laws do you work on daily, here’s what the world says about Leadership:

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1. You can’t do it on your own, Go that way and it will work out is what the leader is there for.

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2. Master, Miss, Ms, Dr, Mrs, Mister, they are titles, being a leader is not: If You’re Out There.

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3. Actions not words, Leadership 101.

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4. Obviously, they are speaking about Donald Trumps leadership style, aren’t they: When I’m Gone.

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5. I don’t take up the Challenge every day, do you?

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6. Presence, Presence, Presence, Leadership: My Immortal.

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7. Mark Yarnell died in 2015, lauded as the Worlds greatest network Marketer, he was truly inspiring — “I’ve lived a “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah” life he said. “I’ve squeezed every ounce of joy out of every single day. It’s been an absolute blast!” And, he encouraged each of us to become the best possible version of ourselves while living a life of freedom.

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8. Even for your mistakes, that’s what real leadership is: Responsibility.

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9. Are you the former or the latter, Your Choice.

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10. Trying leadership on: Try.

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11. Word origin of ‘courage’: Middle Eastern & Old French – corage, heart, spirit  Latin cor, heart. Where we find our passion, In the heart.

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12. I recently came back in contact with Fiona, the woman who showed the leadership to get 13 disparate individuals to travel from Australia to Moscow to run a marathon in the name of ending world hunger, her leadership was inspirational at the time. It was the year before the Berlin Wall came down and communism ended in Russia: Fight Song. 

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13. Remember, it’s your actions that create the opportunities for others to become leaders too.

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14. I would change the middle quotes to Goes there own Way: Go Your Own Way.

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15. It’s OK to take walks, but it’s leadership that makes the difference after all.

As author Hans Finzel observed, ‘Leaders are paid to be dreamers. The higher you go in leadership, the more your work is about the future. At the same time, leaders are practical enough to know that vision without action achieves nothing. They make themselves responsible for helping their followers take action.” Great leaders are BOTH visionary *and* practical.

Today’s songs begin with John Legend, then we travel to the rap of Eminem. Rock takes over for the next three tracks with Evanescence, MxPx and Janis Joplin. It closes out with a very cute video of Rachell Platten and a whole lot of kids and finishes with a classic Fleetwood Mac number: Never tell people how to do Things, tell them what to Do

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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We want Presence, Not Presents!!!


Amy Cuddy’s TED talk on Your Body shapes who you are is the second most watched after Sir Ken Robinson’s one on Creativity. Her book on Presence, funnily enough, called Presence: Get it Here. is a powerful look into what separates the great from the ordinary. In it, Amy states:

“The opposite of powerlessness must be power, right? In a sense, that’s true, but it’s not quite that simple. The research I’ve been doing for years now joins a large body of inquiry into a quality I call presence. Presence stems from believing in and trusting yourself—your real, honest feelings, values, and abilities. That’s important, because if you don’t trust yourself, how can others trust you? Whether we are talking in front of two people or five thousand, interviewing for a job, negotiating for a raise, or pitching a business idea to potential investors, speaking up for ourselves or speaking up for someone else, we all face daunting moments that must be met with poise if we want to feel good about ourselves and make progress in our lives. Presence gives us the power to rise to these moments.”

Presence = “the state of being attuned to and able to comfortably express our true thoughts, feelings, values, and potential.” Note: That’s not a *permanent* state of nirvanic bliss. It’s a moment-to-moment experience in which “We are no longer fighting ourselves; we are being ourselves.”

How do you relate to being present, for me, it has been an ongoing dichotomy with that little voice in my head that says Who do you think you are to………………….., fill in the dots. How has the world related to Presence over time, here are a few of my favourite takes at it:

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1. In September 2011, Mos Def joined the cast of the environmental children’s hip-hop musical – Pacha’s Pajamas: A Story Written By Nature – as narrator. He stated “the earth was given as a trust to mankind, so we have a responsibility to look after it, take care of it, treat it with respect ’cause it’s a gift from the creator to us… We’re so dependent on the natural world. The natural world’s also dependent on us… If we don’t treat it good, it’s not gonna treat us very good either.”

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2. Perfectionism, often related to as the booby prize, when do perfectionists begin their projects: Living in the Moment. 

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3. During my Mental Health period, it was the presence of my siblings that got me through, not their words.

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4. I have reduced my Facebook online presence from seven days a week to three to express the above scenario: Glorious. 

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5. We all know people who enter the room, and the room stops.

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6. Where’s Wally: In my Presence.

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7. Remember to add value wherever you are at any time.

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8. I am still seeking that special someone: Boo’d Up.

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9. In 1969, Harbhajan Singh established the 3HO (Healthy, Happy, Holy Organization) Foundation to further his missionary work. The Yogi’s brand of Sikhism appealed to the hippies who formed the bulk of his early converts. The Sikh practice of not cutting one’s hair or beard was already accepted by the hippie culture, as was Sikh vegetarianism. They liked to experience elevated states of awareness and they also deeply wanted to feel they were contributing to a world of peace and social justice. Yogi Bhajan offered them all these things with vigorous yoga, an embracing holistic vision, and an optimistic spirit of sublime destiny.

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10. Another way Eckhart Tolle expresses the Power of Now equalling being present: Redemption Song.

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11. Soul presence, very special.

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12. Drescher’s first acting break was a small role as the dancer Connie in the blockbuster movie Saturday Night Fever (1977), in which she delivered the line “So, are you as good in bed as you are on the dance floor?” to John Travolta’s character. She is a uterine cancer survivor: Fran Rocking It.

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13. Marshall gifted the world Non-Violent Communication. According to his biographer, Marjorie C. Witty, “He has a fierce face– even when he smiles and laughs. The overall impression I received was of intellectual and emotional intensity. He possesses a charismatic presence. 

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14. Right Here, Right Now: Right Here, Right Now.

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15. Some of these conversations are silent.

Amy also asks us to recall a moment when you felt personally powerful. A time when you felt fully in control of your own psychological state—when you had the confidence to act based on your boldest, most sincere self, with the sense that your actions would be effective. Maybe it was at work, at school, at home, or in some other part of your life. Take a few minutes right now to remember and reflect on that experience of your personal power, on how it felt.

It’s that feeling we seek in our life, it’s available moment to moment if we let it blossom.

We begin with some modern tunes this playlist. Starting off is Jason Mraz, then Macklemore, Drake and Ella Mai. Then back in time to Bob Marley, Fran Drescher, yes, the Nanny, finishing off with a Fatboy Slim classic: We want Presence, not Presents.

Namaste until next time my dear friends, there’s now a search button to look up your favourite blog subjects:

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I don’t want Life to imitate Art!!


What obstacles do you have in your life and what do you do about them? Do you run from them, work out a way around them, or do what it takes to overcome them. In his insightful book ” The Obstacle is the Way: The timeless art of Turning Trials into Triumph.”: Get it Here.  Ryan Holiday writes:

“WHAT IS PERCEPTION? It’s how we see and understand what occurs around us—and what we decide those events will mean. Our perception can be a source of strength or of great weakness. If we are emotional, subjective, and short-sighted, we only add to our troubles. To prevent becoming overwhelmed by the world around us, we must, as the ancients practised, learn how to limit our passions and their control over our lives. It takes skill and discipline to bat away the pests of bad perceptions, to separate reliable signals from deceptive ones, to filter out prejudice, expectation, and fear. But it’s worth it, for what’s left is the truth. While others are excited or afraid, we will remain calm and imperturbable. We will see things simply and straightforwardly, as they truly are—neither good nor bad. This will be an incredible advantage for us in the fight against obstacles.”

We ALWAYS have a choice as to how we respond to any given situation. Between stimulus and response, there’s always a choice. We want to choose wisely. How has society written about overcoming obstacles over the decades, let’s take a journey:

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1. Time to check in with that part of you that embodies your essence, your spirit, your angel guide, etc., etc…

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2. Love that description: The Fear and The Mess, you and your friends are here to handle that: 500 Miles.

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3. Remembered more for his insightful quotes, American career politician Frank Clark points out that a life led without challenges will not take you far.

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4. If you read any biography of the great ones, whichever century they came from, the major content is what they had to overcome that made it worth living for: You’ve Gotta Fight.

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5. In 2014, Jordan became the first billionaire player in NBA history. He is the third-richest African-American, behind Robert F. Smith and Oprah Winfrey.

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6. You can leave port and the sea will be flat as a tack, over the horizon are the thirteen-foot waves that make you a great sailor: Sailing. 

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7. An exercise, list the things you can now do you couldn’t a year ago.

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8. You shall overcome, One Day: We Shall Overcome.

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9. Garth Stein became famous for writing a book called The Art of Racing in the Rain,  the novel follows the story of Enzo, a race car-obsessed dog who believes he will be reincarnated as a human. While his owner, race car driver Denny Swift, teaches him about the art of racing, most of Enzo’s ideas and knowledge— including the Mongolian legend that a dog who is prepared will be reincarnated in its next life as a human come from watching television.

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10. Want radical responsibility in your life, take on more challenges: Don’t Give Up.

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11. You, You or You, choose which one works for you.

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12. Raised by his mother after his parents divorced at an early age, In 1989, Hawke made his breakthrough appearance in Peter Weir’s Dead Poets Society, playing one of the students taught by Robin Williams’s inspirational English teacher: Believe In Yourself.

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13. Yes, they were meant to be there so you could learn the lesson.

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14. Not 42, but an equally empowering distinction: Everybody.

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15. When you’re happy and you know it, overcome your obstacles and turn them into a challenge.

 

Overcomes obstacles by declaring them as challenges, It’s a beautiful idea. Psychologists call it adversarial growth or post-traumatic growth. “That which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” is not a cliché but fact.

The struggle against an obstacle inevitably propels the fighter to a new level of functioning. The extent of the struggle determines the extent of the growth. The obstacle is an advantage, not adversity. The enemy is any perception that prevents us from seeing this.”

Today’s playlist contains four songs that can rightly be called anthems due to their popularity back in the day, a gospel ditty, some spoken word and finishing with a love song. The Proclaimers, The Beastie Boys and Rod Stewart lead off with three of the anthems. Joan Baez slips in for some gospel then Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush remind us what not to do. Some spoken word by Eric Thomas culminating with pop diva Ingrid Michaelson makes for an enjoyable listening experience: I don’t want life to Imitate Art.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends

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How Do I Make It Up To You?


Been journeying the workshop scene lately: Dancing Eros for Men – a 7-week journey into the female archetypes, Expand The Box and Possibility Lab, two 5 day journeys into radical responsibility and the Tantra is Love Sexuality workshop last weekend.

Each comes with notes and exercises of sorts and I am really enjoying reading and expanding from Clinton Callahan/s book Directing the Power of Conscious Feelings: Grab a copy. In this life-altering book, there are the distinctions between low and high drama. Low drama is what we play out with each other, fulfilling one of the roles of victim, rescuer or perpetrator in our day to day scenarios, we are very skilled at this as we are trained from a very early age to fill one of these roles.

High drama is taking responsibility for change in your life. The page I opened the book to has a list about how to train yourself in living in a high drama state, here it is:

  1. Refuse to leave the adult ego state, where you are yourself in the minimized now of the present moment. Put a stake in the ground there.
  2. Declare that you are not a victim. If there is not a victim, there can be no low drama.
  3. Consciously feed your four distinct feelings: anger, sadness, joy, fear.
  4. Detect if you are experiencing a present feeling or an emotion projected from your past or from an authority figure or institution ( Hint, if the feeling lasts longer than a few minutes, it is an emotion.)
  5. Use your emotions to detect the healing you need to do.
  6. Use your feelings to responsibly handle things
  • Make a boundary/become the boundary
  • Ask for what you want
  • Make a decision yes or no
  • Make a distinction, be precise
  • Start something/End Something

7. Neutrally observe what is going on. Choose what is.

8. Make a paper thin gap of nothingness between you and your box

9. Take radical responsibility for creating your circumstances. It is no one else’s fault.

10. If there are other people’s voices in your head, blast them away with your voice blaster.

11. Apologise for your patterns that have caused the breakdown.

12. Willingly enter the pain of remorse. Clear your resentments.

13. Be authentic about your inauthenticity.

14. Determine whose problem it is. If it is your problem, take responsibility. If it is not your problem, it is none of your business.

15. Get centred, Find and keep your attention. Stay unhookable.

16. Use your innate genius to continuously invent new ways to get out of a low drama.       Share what you learn with your friends and your enemies.

For the terms you do not understand, I recommend getting the book. Responsibility  is one of those words that can plug you in  if you are operating from low drama, so what does our society say about it, here are a few statements about it:

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1. Being in your now is another part of the training, some of us hang around in our now for 15 years, what if now was three seconds.

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2. But I can’t, Its too hard, I’m scared, which way is this: The Real Slim Shady.

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3. One plays in the dirt, the other soars above storms.

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4. Yes, you, you are one powerful motherf****: Diamonds.

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5. What is your word for it?

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6. Hal actually died at age 20. Hit head-on by a drunk driver at 70 miles per hour, he was clinically dead for 6 minutes, broke 11 bones, and eventually woke from a coma to be told by doctors that he would never walk again. Not only did Hal walk, but he also went on to run a 52-mile ultra-marathon and become a hall of fame business achiever—before the age of 30: Back From The Dead.

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7. Another word for a perpetual victim.

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8. The most natural path to fulfilling your destiny, take responsibility for your life: Buttons.

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9. If you can own no matter, you instantly become free.

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10. Actions not words, for me. I watched Question Time for our legislature yesterday and could clearly see why they lost the confidence of the general population a long time ago, it was like a bad stand up comedy performance: This is Me. 

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11. Reading mainstream media makes it okay not to do this, it is all low drama.

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12. The three-sided triangle, the cause, the solution and the matter, Yes, please: What makes you Stronger.

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13. What a great insight to have in our lives.

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14. Are you really a leader if you do not ultimately accept it: Responsibility. 

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15. “A new civilization is emerging in our lives, and blind men everywhere are trying to suppress it. This new civilisation brings with it new family styles; changed ways of working, loving, and living; a new economy; new political conflicts; and beyond all this an altered consciousness as well…The dawn of this new civilisation is the single most explosive fact of our lifetimes.”

Alvin Toffler, from The Third Wave (1980)

Here is an example of low drama vs. high drama: You are the dinner table, and you would like some water to drink, and you say “I am really thirsty,” you are playing victim to a low drama, trying to manipulate someone else into rescuing you. If instead, you say, “Harry, will you please pass the water, you are playing the warrior in a high drama. High drama is that simple.

All but one song are from this century on today’s playlist: We begin with Eminem and Rhianna. We then shift to rock with Skillet, then three pop divas, firstly The Pussy Cat Dolls, Kesha and finishing the trio with Kelly Clarkson. Finally one for the kids by Dolly Parton. Here’s the playlist link: How Do I Make It Up to You.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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Then we have the DNA!!


“If you spend most of your life trying to be good at everything, you eliminate your chances of being great at anything. Unless your goal is to be mediocre at a lot of things, starting with what you are naturally good at is a matter of efficiency. Focusing on strengths is in many ways a basic time-allocation issue. Every hour you invest in an area where you have natural talent has a multiplying effect, whereas each hour you spend trying to remedy a weakness is like working against a gravitational force. Yet many people spend years or even decades working on weaknesses in hopes that doing so will make them well-rounded. Do everything you can to avoid falling into this trap. While well-roundedness may be helpful for acquiring the basic tools in any trade—such as reading, writing, and arithmetic—it loses value as you get closer to finding a career. At that point, what’s more, important and relevant is what sets you apart. If you want to be great at something in your lifetime, double down on your talents at every turn.”

Tom Rath wrote this in the highly potent Are you Fully Charged: Here is the link to It. I am great with words, it took me about 59 years to realise this and launch my blog, I am an Interculturalist. I now have written over 300 and have a worldwide audience. What are you avoiding being great at? Let’s see what the world says about it:

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1. Notice being mediocre doesn’t get a mention.

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2. I have recently been in contact with the Sceptics association, I find these people repugnant as if their thought patterns controlled the airwaves creativity would stop as nothing new comes out of what already exists: Your Spirit.

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3. I was part of a conversation about Perfectionism begets procrastination on the weekend. This quote points to the same thing.

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4. How many mistakes were made before the first effective light globe came along? P.S. it wasn’t Edison’s, google it if you like fact checking: Foolish.

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5. In 2009, Rogan launched his podcast The Joe Rogan Experience which has become one of the most popular podcasts available; in October 2015, it was downloaded 16 million times. Rogan also is an advocate for the legalization of cannabis, an avid hunter and part of the “Eat What You Kill” movement.

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6. Greatness also means that you will have to make decisions that will mean a lot of goodbyes having to occur to clear the space for the new hello’s that you require to move towards it: Hello Goodbye.

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7. John Hume is regarded as one of the most important figures in the recent political history of Ireland and one of the architects of the Northern Ireland peace process. He is a recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, the Gandhi Peace Prize and the Martin Luther King Award, the only recipient of the three major peace awards. In 2010 he was named “Ireland’s Greatest” in a public poll by Irish national broadcaster RTÉ to find the greatest person in Ireland’s history.

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8. It is never too late to be the greatest, in fact perhaps the later the better: We are the Champions.

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9. Zig Ziglar, one of the early doyens of the self-development movement has some simple advice for us.

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10. From being homeless on the streets of Detroit to having Lebron James credit him as the reason behind his championship-winning season. Eric Thomas is proof of doing what it takes to find your greatness: Born To Be Alive.

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11. On the way to greatness, the bills can be exorbitant.

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12. Baby, we were born to RunBruce.

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13. Magic Johnson’s career achievements include three NBA MVP Awards, nine NBA Finals appearances, twelve All-Star games, and ten All-NBA First and Second Team nominations. He led the league in regular-season assists four times, and is the NBA’s all-time leader in average assists per game, at 11.2. Here is what greatness meant for him.

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14. From being positive Bob Marley became a musical and philosophical legend: Natural Mystic.

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15. Choose!!!

We’ll finish with some golden wisdom from Gary Vee:

Most people don’t jab—bring value—enough before pulling back for the right hook—going in for the sale. They’re less concerned with providing value than with making the sale, and it backfires every time. … You want to be tactical, but you have to practice the religion of providing value first. How many people put out stories, give free stuff, or engage with people? Probably quite a lot. Now, how many do that without any expectations in return? Very, very few. Be one of those few. When you have no expectations people can sense it, and funny enough, the absence of pressure or obligation actually makes them want to reciprocate.

Have a wonderful journey on your way to greatness, enjoy the bumps and curves.

The playlist today begins with a powerful number from Tasha Cobbs Leonard, followed by another R and B diva, Ashanti. We then return to the last century for The Beatles, Queen, Patrick Hernandez, Bruce Springsteen finishing off with Bob Marley: Then We Have The DNA.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends:

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I Fall Too Fast, Crash Too Hard!!


The title of the chapter on letting go in Marc and Angel Chernoff’s inspiring book, Getting Back To Happy: Their Website. is Letting Go: Surrender Attachments That Are Holding You Back.

In the chapter, they write the following: Limits illuminate beauty, and death is the ultimate limit – a reminder that we need to be aware of this beautiful person and appreciate this beautiful thing called life, Death is also a beginning, because while we have lost someone special, this ending, like the loss of any wonderful life situation, is a moment of reinvention. Although deeply sad, their passing forces us to reinvent our lives, and in this reinvention is an opportunity to experience beauty in new, unseen ways and places, And finally, death is an opportunity to celebrate a person’s life, and to be grateful for the beauty they showed us

Most of the time it’s tough, to be honest about what we really need and how our lives might benefit by letting go of some things If you have felt any of Marc and Angel’s list, maybe it’s time to reassess your situation.

  1. Someone constantly expects you to be Someone You’re Not.
  2. A Person’s actions don’t match their Words.
  3. You have a habit of moping and feeling Sorry For Yourself.
  4. You’re clutching Tight ti an Easy Street Mentality.
  5. You truly dislike your Current Situation.
  6. You catch yourself obsessing over and Living in the Past.

Letting Go is not giving up, it’s about surrendering obsessive attachments to specific people, outcomes, and situations. Where in your life could you do this on an ongoing basis?

Much has been said about Letting Go over time, here are a few of my favourites:

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1. God, Buddha, Allah, we know what they are pointing to in this insightful quote.

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2, It’s paramount that one of them is not yourself: I Was Here.

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3, His Holiness rocks.

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4. Vacate them from your space, so that there is room for those who are meant to be part of your tribe: Let It Go.

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5. I have felt this situation in my life several times. Each time it had to happen for the better version of me to flourish.

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6. They were experiences, not life sentences: Climb Every Mountain.

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7. Let go of those things that you know are costing you power on an ongoing basis.

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8. They say everyone we meet is either to teach us a lesson or to be taught one by them, remember the lessons: Let Go Of Attachment.

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9. You can only be you, don’t try and be someone else for someone else, it won’t work.

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10. If you are having difficulty with the latter, please reach out to others: Starting Over Again.

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11. I love the imagery of this Meme. It hits home in a very powerful way.

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12. In the end, the heart and soul are what has the final say over the often flawed logic of your mind: Heart and Soul.

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13. If we bodily don’t do this, we die. What difference in our psychological world.

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14. In my country, the voicemail number is 212. I don’t answer numbers that I do not know because of my past history with giving too often to charities who onsell your details, they don’t leave a voicemail: Living In The Past.

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15, The past is the past, it will not change. Use your energy towards whats next on your agenda in life.

So how can we let go and live better? By realizing that there’s nothing to hold onto in the first place. Most of the things – situations, problems, worries, ideals, expectations etc. –  we desperately try to grasp, as if they’re real, solid, everlasting fixtures in our lives, aren’t really there. Or, if they are there in some form, they’re changing, fluid, impermanent, or mostly created in our minds. Life gets significantly easier to deal with when we understand this.

We go further back than ever before in today’s Playlist. We begin with Beyonce and The Frozen Soundtrack then warp back to The Sound of Music. Some Spoken Word from Alan Watts and Co. then soulful Natalie Cole. Then there is our pre WW2 track by Bea Wain and Larry Clinton finishing up with the flute-driven Jethro Tull. Here’s the link to make for easy listening: I Fall Too Fast, Crash Too Hard.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower

Life Is A Brief Intermission!!


I had the honour of meeting Nicole Gibson recently. Nicole was appointed Australia’s national Mental Health Commissioner at the tender age of twenty-one. A survivor of anorexia, which Nicole proclaims as her mental illness journey. Nicole has written a fabulous book: Love out Loud – A Millennials Guide to Enlightenment : Get It Here. The focus of the book is to spend your life enquiring into Love and what it means for you. writes the following: “It’s important that all of us are given a roadmap to understand the journey of self-love so we know and accept our need to love and to be loved. It’s beyond me as to why and how this has not yet been incorporated into our education systems. Love has been the single most transformative energy in my life, both in how it’s shaped and moulded my healing and my journey, as well as the transformative impact I’ve been able to have on hundred of thousands of people. Sometimes people hesitate when they hear the word “love”, and that’s because of its deep confrontational nature. Love has the power to light all our shadows and to birth us into a new state of being. Now is the time for this to happen. In 2020 mental illness is set to be the world’s leading epidemic and the biggest health epidemic in history to date. Suicide is now the leading cause of death in under 45’s in Australia – more than car accidents, cancer and overdoses, taking the lives of eight Australians a day. We have half of Australians battling mental illness at some point in their life”

So I wish to put forward the premise that a lot of this is caused by the way mental illness is treated, even the name mental illness suggests to me that we have the treatment of it arse about. My six-year bout was caused by extreme despondency and sadness, my treatment was medication to numb it and six visits to psych units because all it did was tried to hide what I was going through, not actually treat the symptoms. Don’t get me wrong, medication is a necessary part of some people’s treatment but what put me on the path to recovery was when my sister Ruth said something like the following: It doesn’t matter what you do to me, I will still love you. Through all the pain I heard this magnificent act of love and my healing journey began.

So using my formulae of writing about the subject on the page I open, on page 94 is the heading: LOVE HELPS PROCESS PAIN, INSTEAD OF AVOIDING IT.

What a radical idea, and how has the world processed pain over the centuries, let’s have a look:

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1. All we have to do is talk to our mothers and the pain they go through at the conception of their beloved children. Very few choose to continue the suffering as soon as they see the bundle of joy that has arrived into their lives.

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2. The old giving the power over to another trick, this works in the area of love too. Self love is self-responsibility: Who Says.

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3. As with my experience, and also Nicole’s recovery takes a long time, and there are no physical signs that you are “ill” so often people make the assumption that all is well far too early.

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4. All that efforting to not worry your dear ones that there is nothing wrong. What is we could use that energy to actually express our true feelings of pain and sadness and get the help we truly need: Stronger.

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5. I love this outlook on the use of words : “I choose to choose few words each day. Yes! few words that count. Few words that can make impact. Few words that talk much. Few words that can make people ponder to wonder. Few words that are indelible. Few words that can leave distinctive footprints on minds. Though we may fail to mind our words, we shall never fail to mind the works of our words.”  by Ernest Agyemang Yeboah.

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6. What you cannot feel you cannot take care of – a revolutionary thought in our instant gratification driven society: Feelings.

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7. As neither is an excellent life, you must deal with it all, the dark and the light, the pain and the joy, etc., etc.

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8. Known as possibly the world’s greatest artist who suffered severe bouts of depression Vincent speaks to how being over zealous can have counter effects to what you are seeking: Vincent.

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9. A question that we can answer about very few of the 7 billion humans on the planet. We come to most of our relationships with our box of what it will be well in place.

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10. We need to build a bridge to get over and out of these situations: Bridge Over Troubled Water.

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11. And they are out there, we just must make that journey.

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12. I can write the words, but have great difficulty shedding tears, how are you with doing it: Teardrops.

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13. 

Dale Harbison Carnegie spelled Carnagey until 1922 was an American writer and lecturer and the developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. Born into poverty on a farm in Missouri, he was the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936), a bestseller that remains popular today. He also wrote How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (1948), Lincoln the Unknown (1932), and several other books.

One of the core ideas in his books is that it is possible to change other people’s behavior by changing one’s behavior toward them.

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14. The pain of flashback, when we tell ourselves we are over him or her, but each time we see a reminder it comes back  in all its glory: Papa Was a Rolling Stone.

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15. All of it, The light and the dark, really!!!

Nicole makes three points in the chapter:

  1. Hold people in their pain, rather than rescuing them. When we are the hero.  others become the victim.
  2. Endings are always followed by beautiful beginnings.
  3. The key is to celebrate the growth, rather than wallow in the loss.

It’s a special ove when you love someone enough to be with them in their pain, instead of trying to save them from their pain. To save someone from their pain is to rob them of a deeper connection to love. Allowing them their darker experiences whilst supporting them to work through them is the ultimate gift you can give somebody.

The playlist for this blog is truly a blast from the past. It begins in our current century with Selena Gomez and Kelly Clarkson but then retreats to the time of flares and quirky dancing with Andy Williams, Don Mclean, Simon and Garfunkel, Womack and Womack peaking with a Temptations classic. Here is the Youtube playlist for your listening pleasure: LIfe Is a Brief Intermission.

Namaste until next time we meet, my dear friends.

namasteflower