I Fall Too Fast, Crash Too Hard!!


The title of the chapter on letting go in Marc and Angel Chernoff’s inspiring book, Getting Back To Happy: Their Website. is Letting Go: Surrender Attachments That Are Holding You Back.

In the chapter, they write the following: Limits illuminate beauty, and death is the ultimate limit – a reminder that we need to be aware of this beautiful person and appreciate this beautiful thing called life, Death is also a beginning, because while we have lost someone special, this ending, like the loss of any wonderful life situation, is a moment of reinvention. Although deeply sad, their passing forces us to reinvent our lives, and in this reinvention is an opportunity to experience beauty in new, unseen ways and places, And finally, death is an opportunity to celebrate a person’s life, and to be grateful for the beauty they showed us

Most of the time it’s tough, to be honest about what we really need and how our lives might benefit by letting go of some things If you have felt any of Marc and Angel’s list, maybe it’s time to reassess your situation.

  1. Someone constantly expects you to be Someone You’re Not.
  2. A Person’s actions don’t match their Words.
  3. You have a habit of moping and feeling Sorry For Yourself.
  4. You’re clutching Tight ti an Easy Street Mentality.
  5. You truly dislike your Current Situation.
  6. You catch yourself obsessing over and Living in the Past.

Letting Go is not giving up, it’s about surrendering obsessive attachments to specific people, outcomes, and situations. Where in your life could you do this on an ongoing basis?

Much has been said about Letting Go over time, here are a few of my favourites:

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1. God, Buddha, Allah, we know what they are pointing to in this insightful quote.

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2, It’s paramount that one of them is not yourself: I Was Here.

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3, His Holiness rocks.

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4. Vacate them from your space, so that there is room for those who are meant to be part of your tribe: Let It Go.

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5. I have felt this situation in my life several times. Each time it had to happen for the better version of me to flourish.

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6. They were experiences, not life sentences: Climb Every Mountain.

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7. Let go of those things that you know are costing you power on an ongoing basis.

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8. They say everyone we meet is either to teach us a lesson or to be taught one by them, remember the lessons: Let Go Of Attachment.

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9. You can only be you, don’t try and be someone else for someone else, it won’t work.

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10. If you are having difficulty with the latter, please reach out to others: Starting Over Again.

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11. I love the imagery of this Meme. It hits home in a very powerful way.

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12. In the end, the heart and soul are what has the final say over the often flawed logic of your mind: Heart and Soul.

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13. If we bodily don’t do this, we die. What difference in our psychological world.

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14. In my country, the voicemail number is 212. I don’t answer numbers that I do not know because of my past history with giving too often to charities who onsell your details, they don’t leave a voicemail: Living In The Past.

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15, The past is the past, it will not change. Use your energy towards whats next on your agenda in life.

So how can we let go and live better? By realizing that there’s nothing to hold onto in the first place. Most of the things – situations, problems, worries, ideals, expectations etc. –  we desperately try to grasp, as if they’re real, solid, everlasting fixtures in our lives, aren’t really there. Or, if they are there in some form, they’re changing, fluid, impermanent, or mostly created in our minds. Life gets significantly easier to deal with when we understand this.

We go further back than ever before in today’s Playlist. We begin with Beyonce and The Frozen Soundtrack then warp back to The Sound of Music. Some Spoken Word from Alan Watts and Co. then soulful Natalie Cole. Then there is our pre WW2 track by Bea Wain and Larry Clinton finishing up with the flute-driven Jethro Tull. Here’s the link to make for easy listening: I Fall Too Fast, Crash Too Hard.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower

Life Is A Brief Intermission!!


I had the honour of meeting Nicole Gibson recently. Nicole was appointed Australia’s national Mental Health Commissioner at the tender age of twenty-one. A survivor of anorexia, which Nicole proclaims as her mental illness journey. Nicole has written a fabulous book: Love out Loud – A Millennials Guide to Enlightenment : Get It Here. The focus of the book is to spend your life enquiring into Love and what it means for you. writes the following: “It’s important that all of us are given a roadmap to understand the journey of self-love so we know and accept our need to love and to be loved. It’s beyond me as to why and how this has not yet been incorporated into our education systems. Love has been the single most transformative energy in my life, both in how it’s shaped and moulded my healing and my journey, as well as the transformative impact I’ve been able to have on hundred of thousands of people. Sometimes people hesitate when they hear the word “love”, and that’s because of its deep confrontational nature. Love has the power to light all our shadows and to birth us into a new state of being. Now is the time for this to happen. In 2020 mental illness is set to be the world’s leading epidemic and the biggest health epidemic in history to date. Suicide is now the leading cause of death in under 45’s in Australia – more than car accidents, cancer and overdoses, taking the lives of eight Australians a day. We have half of Australians battling mental illness at some point in their life”

So I wish to put forward the premise that a lot of this is caused by the way mental illness is treated, even the name mental illness suggests to me that we have the treatment of it arse about. My six-year bout was caused by extreme despondency and sadness, my treatment was medication to numb it and six visits to psych units because all it did was tried to hide what I was going through, not actually treat the symptoms. Don’t get me wrong, medication is a necessary part of some people’s treatment but what put me on the path to recovery was when my sister Ruth said something like the following: It doesn’t matter what you do to me, I will still love you. Through all the pain I heard this magnificent act of love and my healing journey began.

So using my formulae of writing about the subject on the page I open, on page 94 is the heading: LOVE HELPS PROCESS PAIN, INSTEAD OF AVOIDING IT.

What a radical idea, and how has the world processed pain over the centuries, let’s have a look:

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1. All we have to do is talk to our mothers and the pain they go through at the conception of their beloved children. Very few choose to continue the suffering as soon as they see the bundle of joy that has arrived into their lives.

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2. The old giving the power over to another trick, this works in the area of love too. Self love is self-responsibility: Who Says.

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3. As with my experience, and also Nicole’s recovery takes a long time, and there are no physical signs that you are “ill” so often people make the assumption that all is well far too early.

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4. All that efforting to not worry your dear ones that there is nothing wrong. What is we could use that energy to actually express our true feelings of pain and sadness and get the help we truly need: Stronger.

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5. I love this outlook on the use of words : “I choose to choose few words each day. Yes! few words that count. Few words that can make impact. Few words that talk much. Few words that can make people ponder to wonder. Few words that are indelible. Few words that can leave distinctive footprints on minds. Though we may fail to mind our words, we shall never fail to mind the works of our words.”  by Ernest Agyemang Yeboah.

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6. What you cannot feel you cannot take care of – a revolutionary thought in our instant gratification driven society: Feelings.

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7. As neither is an excellent life, you must deal with it all, the dark and the light, the pain and the joy, etc., etc.

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8. Known as possibly the world’s greatest artist who suffered severe bouts of depression Vincent speaks to how being over zealous can have counter effects to what you are seeking: Vincent.

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9. A question that we can answer about very few of the 7 billion humans on the planet. We come to most of our relationships with our box of what it will be well in place.

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10. We need to build a bridge to get over and out of these situations: Bridge Over Troubled Water.

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11. And they are out there, we just must make that journey.

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12. I can write the words, but have great difficulty shedding tears, how are you with doing it: Teardrops.

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13. 

Dale Harbison Carnegie spelled Carnagey until 1922 was an American writer and lecturer and the developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. Born into poverty on a farm in Missouri, he was the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936), a bestseller that remains popular today. He also wrote How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (1948), Lincoln the Unknown (1932), and several other books.

One of the core ideas in his books is that it is possible to change other people’s behavior by changing one’s behavior toward them.

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14. The pain of flashback, when we tell ourselves we are over him or her, but each time we see a reminder it comes back  in all its glory: Papa Was a Rolling Stone.

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15. All of it, The light and the dark, really!!!

Nicole makes three points in the chapter:

  1. Hold people in their pain, rather than rescuing them. When we are the hero.  others become the victim.
  2. Endings are always followed by beautiful beginnings.
  3. The key is to celebrate the growth, rather than wallow in the loss.

It’s a special ove when you love someone enough to be with them in their pain, instead of trying to save them from their pain. To save someone from their pain is to rob them of a deeper connection to love. Allowing them their darker experiences whilst supporting them to work through them is the ultimate gift you can give somebody.

The playlist for this blog is truly a blast from the past. It begins in our current century with Selena Gomez and Kelly Clarkson but then retreats to the time of flares and quirky dancing with Andy Williams, Don Mclean, Simon and Garfunkel, Womack and Womack peaking with a Temptations classic. Here is the Youtube playlist for your listening pleasure: LIfe Is a Brief Intermission.

Namaste until next time we meet, my dear friends.

namasteflower

You Will Not Know How Powerful You Are!!


Often when we talk about helping poor communities, we’re actually working not to save a life but to offer more choices. That’s how we improve our well-being – by enabling choice.

The above statement is from Seth Godin’s inspiring little book: We Are All Weird: The Rise of Tribes and The End of Normal: Link to Buy It. I like the testimonials – “This is a book about giving a damn. It’s about caring about what you do and (as important) who you do it for. Professional apathy is a relic of a dead era and, as Seth teaches brilliantly, a mentality you cling to at great peril. Everyone with a pulse and a paycheck should be living, We Are All Weird – Chris Taylor, founder, Actionablebooks.com.

But it is Sherold Barr’s testimonial, who describe themselves as a  Master Coach and Freedom Fighter that impressed me the most: “This book will resonate with anyone who wants to lead a tribe, be authentic, dance to the beat of their own music, and make a difference in the world. If your inner critic (the resistance) has been telling you that you are not enough, your work is not good enough, and who do you think you are to make a difference then buy this book. Let your freak flag fly high.”

So how does the world present enabling choice? It actually goes to many places and here are some of them:

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1. How often do we forget that the person we must first enable is the one looking back at us in the mirror?

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2. Rosemary Edghill (born 1956) is an American writer and editor. Some of her work has appeared under her original name, eluki bes shahar (lower case intentional). Her primary genres are science fiction and fantasy, but she began by writing Regency romance novels. The publishers of her first novel felt that “Eluki Bes Shahar” (her legal name at the time) sounded insufficiently English to attract readers, so she adopted the pen-name Rosemary Edghill, which became her legal name in 2004. Not really an enabling choice when you think about it: Choice.

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3. Relationship experts say that choice has nothing to do with who you fall in love with. I think that is what this quote is pointing out. Our heart doesn’t seem very logical at the time.

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4. Those people that are no longer in your life for an excellent reason, they didn’t stay around long enough to discover how truly valuable you were: Don’t Give Up

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5. Victor Hugo is the poet my brother took his new name from when he changed his given name to create a new identity.

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6. It’s the behaviour that rankles, stopping one person will not cease the violence committed against women by men. Its behavioural change that is required not naming the perpetrators: Bon Appetit.

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7. It’s become less and less that I wake up these days thinking of the opposite of this.

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8. You can choose to make a difference with your life or not, really, really, truly:  Where’s The Love.

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9. A title like Chief Executive Officer does not make you a leader, try Nobel Peace Prize Winner or something in that ilk.

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10. Sammy Davis Junior rose to the top of the entertainment tree in America at a time when African Americans had to sit at the back of the bus in most states, he had a commitment: Mr Bojangles.

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11. How often has it been said a particular person had the ability, but that person never chose to utilise it. That’s why it is the people who make the tough choices rise to the top.

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12. One may say, impossible, because they have to want to, you can not make them do it: Tough Lover.

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13. In psychotherapy and mental health, enabling has a positive sense of empowering individuals or a negative sense of encouraging dysfunctional behaviour. One must choose to give up the latter definition and allow the person to do what they need to so they can move forward.

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14. Don’t be forced into a hasty decision, what occurs in your life is your choice, not others. Unfortunately, I think 90% of the human race forget this at times: Thinking Out Loud.

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15. If you are making no decisions in your life there is nothing that is important to achieve, so how can your day to day actions be significant?

Today, some people can make a living as painters or professional bowlers or even poets. There are ten million households with a net worth of more than a million dollars. And there are millions (perhaps a billion) people who make enough money from their day job that they’re able to pursue something they enjoy with their spare time. More and more often, the thing they enjoy is something weird. Choice is what we choose.

The playlist begins with Bollywood superstars Miss Pooja and Manjit Rupowalia, followed by Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush with one of the great duets. Kate Perry adds some Pop Diva, then the Black Eyed Peas sing a sultry number before Sammy Davis Junior takes us back to another era. Christine Aguilera and Ed Sheeran close out the list: You Will Not Know How Powerful You Are.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower

Let Yourself Be Silently Drawn!!


Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams. Live the life you want to live. Be the person you want to remember years from now. Make decisions and act on them. Make mistakes, fall and try again. Even if you fall a thousand times, at least you won’t have to wonder what could have been. At least you will know in your heart that you gave your dreams your best shot.

Each of us has a fire in our hearts burning for something. It’s our responsibility in life to find it and keep it lit. This is your life, and it’s a short one. Don’t let others extinguish your flame. Try what you want to try. Go where you want to go. Follow your own intuition. Dream with your eyes open until you know exactly what it looks like. Then do at least one thing every day to make it a reality.

Two inspirational paragraphs from Marc and Angels first book – 1,000+ Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently, what do you do to follow your heart and intuition.

What has the world said about being in contact with your heart when it comes to fulfilling your dreams, here are some of them:

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1. Regrets, you will have a few if you do this.

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2. You do not read the answers to the questions and demands that this pair will ask of you: Listen to your Heart.

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3. You will never have to worry about being lost on your life’s path if you do this.

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4. And you do really know what it is that is good for you, stop running away from it: Soul Kind Of Feeling.

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5. Feel your heartbeat increase as your belief in the good things in your life increases.

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6. Maybe, what if, it mightn’t work out, all brain food. Eat from the heart and go for it: Do It Again

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7. Time to follow the Silly manifesto – your heart is calling you.

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8. How long is it since you have really articulated your truth in life, find a buddy to do it with weekly: Get Up, Stand Up.

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9. What happens to us that we forget this?

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10. Reward Offered: Mind lost somewhere on the path of my magnificent heart journey: Let Me Blow Ya Mind.

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11. The heart knows rules are meant to be broken!!

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12. Can we ever really turn that voice in our heads down long enough to feel the yearning of our hearts: Too Much.

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13. Angie Karan is a nurse who lives in Sydney, Australia and writes a great blog called: Angie Karan –  quotes, poetry, love & inspiration.

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14. Pharrell instantly comes to mind after reading this quote: Happy.

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15. We finish with 80’s pop icon Patti Labelle giving you the main reason to follow your heart – if you don’t your dreams get crushed.

The last paragraph in the 12 things you should be able to say about yourself is entitled I have no regrets: Follow your heart. Be true to Yourself. Do what makes you happy. Be with who makes you smile. Laugh as much as you breathe. love as long as you live. Say what you need to say. offer a helping hand when you’re able. Appreciate all the things you do have. Smile. Celebrate your small victories. learn from your mistakes. Realize that everything is a lesson in disguise. Forgive. And let go of the things you can’t control.

The playlist this week begins back in the 70’s and 80’s with Roxette, classic Aussie R and B band Dynamic Hepnotics, Steely Dan and then Bob Marley. it then moves forward to present days with Eve, Drake and Pharrell Williams. I am now making Youtube playlists of them to make your listening pleasure easier: Let Yourself Be Silently Drawn.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower

I want you to take off your Clothes!!


Forgot Brene again, so instead of Daring Greatly we get to look at sexuality and vulnerability today. I am doing a course called Dancing Eros for Men: Info Link. at the moment and it is transforming me molecule by molecule. I cannot talk about the practices, only my experience of them. last night we did the one that prudish Rod was going to survive, it was around our unleashed sexuality. I rated myself about two out of ten in this area at the beginning and moved to about a four.

What I did discover was that what had turned me prudish was an event that one could relate to as a males ultimate fantasy. I used to hang around the Rythm and Blues scene in Melbourne as a door bitch and a sometimes sound guy. We did a gig south of the river, Melbourne is split into Southside and Northside by the Yarra River and you have a favourite side. I lived north of the river and eventually got home late in the morning after drugs and alcohol. Comes a knock on the door ten minutes later, it’s the amazing looking woman from the gig. Her – I am here to fuck you. We did, I never knew her name or saw her again. I felt a deep shame about this even though she had instigated it and left the music scene never to return soon after.

So what are you vulnerability edges, what have people said about it over the ages, here we go:

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1. Possibly one of the worlds most famous TED talks, the book I meant to bring Daring Greatly is what Brene based this TED talk on.

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2. It’s not about the bodies that take part, its so much more: Sex with Me.

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3. Hot Chocolate – You sexy thing!!

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4. Pleasure me and you as part of the deal or if you are polyamory as many as you feel like: Is This Love.

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5. I am learning this more and more in Dancing Eros. I get to see how really, truly I have shut these areas down in my life, and yet they are a crucial part of who I am.

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6. Courageously show up and you will get what you need in all areas of your life, including your sexuality: Thinking Out Loud.

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7. As true as 50 is the new 30, or in my case 63 is the new 30.

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8. Self Love 101. master this and you become one sexy motherfucker: We R who we R.

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9. I think I’m one of these, will I change from Dancing Eros?

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10. Nudism is a natural state, negative thoughts about it are clearly not: Show me your Pussay.

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11. Handle the body to body stuff, then go for this. Yes, Please.

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12. the founder of psychoanalysis, a clinical method for treating psychopathology through dialogue between a patient and a psychoanalyst. Hence the creation of the patient couch: Vulnerable.

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13. More from the fabulous Brene, after all, she is the Queen of the subject.

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14. How many types of sexual are there, many to chose from these days: Demisexuality.

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15. What would the world be like if we all walked on this earth letting ourselves be truly seen?

So I have quite a journey still if I am ever to feel the pure joy of ten out of ten in this area, although I think a little bot is sneaking in, nanoseconds of it, time will tell.

The playlist for today begins with Rihanna being hot and sexy, followed by a classic from Bob Marley, then the uber raunchy Kesha. Lords of Acid then put it in your face, finishing with a milder Roxette and an info video on Demisexuality.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower

 

 

How Wonderful it Is!!


I’ve had to ride over to my sisters place to write the blog today as the day after commencing my new research online business Rods Rocking Research: Here’s the Link. my computer went blank screen and its a two week turnaround as Apple doesn’t have parts for a 2011 MacBook pro anymore. I was going to write on vulnerability via Brene Browns book Daring greatly but I didn’t put it in my Crumpler bag so its back to Marc and Angel’s Getting Back to Happy which was already in the bag.

Chapter 8 is entitled Getting Unstuck: Embrace Change and take Action When Necessary so I thought a discussion on taking action would be appropriate after riding over here.

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1. Foundational is not a word I would associate with Pablo Picasso, although I suppose you use foundation when you are creating a painting.

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2. All those negative thoughts our mind throws up from our memories will not overcome our fears but placing one foot in front of another and just beginning certainly will help: One Foot.

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3. Explode into action and your life will explode along with it!!

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4. There are three tenses, Past , present and future, Gandhi points out which one you take action in: Lets Live for today.

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5. Honoré de Balzac , born Honoré Balzacwas a French novelist and playwright. The novel sequence La Comédie humaine, which presents a panorama of post-Napoleonic French life, is generally viewed as his magnum opus.

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6. The man who forgot the influence that the Metoo movement has had on the planet, Big Tone talks to our abilities: F**kin Perfect (explicit version)

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7. What a sobering term, “Comfortable Inaction” I think that is why the world is where it is right now.

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8. As my friend Amanda said at one Unleashing retreat , get off your fucking arses: Say Something.

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9. I instantly though of the movie Field of Dreams, In 2017, the film was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant”.

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10.How long is it since you fell over or made a mistake regarding your career, time to step out: What a Girl Is.

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11. Yoda speak!!

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12. Celebrate good times: Celebration.

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13. Sounds of Silence and acts of doing is Walts suggestion.

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14. Seth Godin is Yoyodyne, launched in 1995, used contests, online games, and scavenger hunts to market companies to participating users. In August 1996, Flatiron Partners invested $4 million in Yoyodyne in return for a 20% stake.At Yoyodyne, Godin published Permission Marketing: Turning strangers into friends and friends into customers. In 1998, he sold Yoyodyne to Yahoo for about $30 million and became Yahoo’s vice president of direct marketing: Video Killed the Radio Star.

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15. Stop thinking so much, time to get out of your head and get out of your body.

Marc and Angel say it is never too late or too early to be who you are capable of being. There’s no time limit on when you can start living the life you’ve always dreamed of. there is no mystical door that shuts after you turn a certain age, blocking you off from experiencing the things you want to be.

The playlist for today is very eclectic. It begins with someone I have never heard of called Walk The Moon, followed by the 70’s classic The Grass Roots. Then on to pop diva Pink and Justin Timberlake. Who is Dove Cameron. Some funk from Kool and the Gang and that song from The Buggles to end. Enjoy.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower

 

 

Always desire to Learn Something Useful.


Once again we return to Danielle LaPorte’s great book White Hot Truth for today subject, that often misunderstood emotion called desire: Here’s the Link.

The chapter on desire is subtitled a broader view for creating reality and begins with the following poem:

Dear Infinity

soon

enough

My Future

will be

now

and my scars will have grown into

sacred geometry

(circles of Dignity, pyramids of Will, vortices of Love)

I hide what I have to let go of in furrows

behind a tail gate

and I whisper wishes

into every victory seed

I plant –

every one hears this prayer

Dear Infinity

Breathe life into

my every desire.

To give some context to desire let’s have a look at how different parts of society view it:

The Catholics: If you want it, you have to go through God to get it.

The Buddhists: Your problem is that you want it.

The Zen Buddhists: What’s to want?

The Hindus: You wanted that in your last life.

The Capitalists: You got to want it more than anyone else.

The New Agers: Just keep telling the Universe how much you want it.

I have followed Danielle’s Core Desired Feeling for over four years now, freed from my to do list perfection after one or two. So how do we as a society relate to this often verboten subject that is desire:

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1. Some people say Donald Trump is Ayn Rand’s love child. He obviously forget this piece of advice.

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2. I love this statement Tom Krause wrote about teaching, Welcome to teaching!!! You are now part of a profession solely dedicated to helping students of all ages learn. It is a profession where the more you give of yourself, the more you get in return. Most famous people are eventually forgotten. Teachers live on in the hearts and minds of their students for a lifetime: The Rose.

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3. “Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.” “There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else.

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4. 3 percent of people write their goals down. In a study they earned on average 10 times more than the other 97 percent. Do you write down your passions, your desired feelings: Change.

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5. Are you lost?

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6. And the surest way for them to be uncontrolled is to deny they exist and not deal with them: Scary Monsters.

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7. Whoever wrote this must have been following me around for a long time.

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8. I think the last word is praised: Praise You.

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9. But what if your fantasies become your reality: Yummy!!!

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10. A force to be reckoned with, desire can take you to some strange places:

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11. A photographer by trade, Jason uses his images and wealth to combat the negative effects ethnic identity has on the human race.

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12. Blind from the age of 7 to 15 after falling down the stairs, Eric Hoffer is famous for this insight – A movement is pioneered by men of words, materialized by fanatics and consolidated by men of actions: Opportunity.

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13. A prolific quoter, T. P. Chia has a site with over 800 quotes on it. Many of them pointing to it is up to us to fulfill our desires and turn them into achievements.

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14. A synonym for desire, curiosity is defined as a strong desire to know or learn something – “filled with curiosity, she peered through the window. Other ways of saying it are inquisitieness, interest, and spirit of enquiry: Curiosity killed the Cat.

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15. How many times has this  happened in your life, never knew there was such a sexy word for it.

Danielle comments that in her experience, desire works best when you have intersecting reasons for wanting what you want. Yu want it for yourself, and you want it for others. You want it for pleasure, and to be of service. You want it because having it gives you joy, and you can send that joy ( or money, or resources, or healing ) out in other directions. I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment.

The songs this time begin with a classic Bette Midler tune, then the pop diva Taylor Swift. We then return to the 80’s with Bowie followed by Fatboy Slim. Then a Bollywood tune from the Havoc Brothers, some Sia ending with an Australian icon Little River Band.

Namaste until next time , my dear friends.

namasteflower