Everyone Has Oceans to Fly!!


How do you know the difference between your preferences and your boundaries? I am doing this amazing online public speaking course called RISE with Fleassy Malay, it is the top 5 courses I have ever done, and I have done a lot over the years: Enter Fleassy’s World. and she points out that we often mix the two up, preferences become boundaries and boundaries become preferences. How do they differ, let’s look at their definitions:

Preference is defined as:

the fact that you like something or someone more than another thing or person:

Her preference is for comfort rather than stylish clothes.
I have a preference for sweet food over spicy.
Choosing furniture is largely a matter of personal preference.
It would be wrong to discriminate against a candidate because of their sexual preference (= the sex of the people they are sexually attracted to).

an advantage that is given to a person or a group of people:

We give preference to those who have worked with us for a long time.
Special preferences were offered initially to encourage investment.
Boundaries are defined as:
Like physical boundaries, emotional boundaries define separateness. Your emotional boundaries are the property lines that separate your thoughts and feelings from those of other people.
To me, preferences live in the realms of the examples above and boundaries are those gut feelings that much our stomach churn when we know they are not being respected or people have just walked through them.
So what does our society have to say about boundaries, there were some quite different expressions of it when I looked.
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1. Unlimited giving is a surefire recipe for health problems to emerge.

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2. Remember the age-old formulae: You are the result of the five people you spend the most time with, choose wisely: Get Up, Stand Up.

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3. Lamott has described why she writes: I try to write the books I would love to come upon, that are honest, concerned with real lives, human hearts, spiritual transformation, families, secrets, wonder, craziness—and that can make me laugh. When I am reading a book like this, I feel rich and profoundly relieved to be in the presence of someone who will share the truth with me, and throw the lights on a little, and I try to write these kinds of books. Books, for me, are medicine.

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4. You may lose some of your peeps when you put them in place, and who they are may surprise you: Brene’s take on it.

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5. Boundaries bring out people’s real nature.

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6. Have clarity when you set them, and then stand by them as if you are defending your child’s life: No Need to Argue.

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7. Boundaries actually increase your ability to give over time.

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8. You have to wake up with you in the morning, so make sure the respect is there: Respect.

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9. Teach the people in your life, or they will make it up how they relate to you.

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10. If how you relate to people crosses more than the one on one relationship you have some work to do: Crossing Boundaries.

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11. Today’s boundaries are how you live your life.

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12. Don’t accept an invitation if it crosses your boundaries, as said above no is a complete sentence: Ball and Chain.

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13. But always remember there are times your boundaries need to be fluid.

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14. Brene: Boundaries equals being courageous: Perfect.

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15. Our final lesson comes from the great Persian poet, Rumi. Have boundaries but remember to remain curious.

As we travel along our timeline some preferences may become boundaries and boundaries preferences. that is the joy of being human, each moment is a new experience allowing us to chose to grow or diminish. It’s up to Us, Because We Can, It’s our Time.

The Playlist honours some extremely powerful divas today. We begin with the only male, Bob Marley. The spoken word is next from Brene Brown. The sultry voice of the lead singer of The Cranberries is next followed by the powerful vocals of Aretha Franklin. Then a mini discovery in Mina AlAli. One of the great performances from the ’60s is next by Janis Joplin and we close with Pink: Everyone Has Oceans To Fly.

I don’t really like the other types of boundaries, I am fighting them as hard as possible to ensconce my world paradigm of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until next we meet, my dear friends.

Earth Tribe

 

 

Freedom is a State of Mind!!


Going off the grid for 5 days from 6AM tomorrow morning, off to Confest for the first time in 30 years with two of my friends who are Confest virgins. A little about the festival: ConFest (Conference/Festival) is a gathering of people wishing to share talents, skills, ideas, concerns and philosophies in a caring fun loving and tolerant atmosphere. The presentation of workshops, demonstrations, entertainments and the maintenance of site facilities are all performed by volunteers, monetary payment is neither accepted nor made.

At ConFest, people often set up villages with differing themes. ConFest is a clothing optional space, this means ConFesters can wear, or not wear anything they chose. Everywhere at ConFest is clothes optional. Don’t be surprised to have a naked ticket collector when you arrive at the ConFest gate. Clothing can range from nothing to body paint, a coat of mud, a sheet, a fairy costume, even a ball gown or dinner suit. At ConFest, clothing is not gendered specific. There is just one simple rule, respect other ConFester’s choices. A long-running and very popular ConFest tradition is the communal artist’s studio. Activities include body and sign painting, life drawing, clay work, organic art, photography etc. Artists, models and workshop facilitators are always welcome.

I am looking forward to returning, last time I went it was around 1,000 people, it is now over 6,000. How do 6,000 people express their own individual shades of freedom? Then, how does society comment on personal freedom, let’s have a look:

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1. I love that saying, there is only climbing.

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2. Its all in the air: The Air that I Breathe.

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3. Thucydides has been called the father of the school of political realism, which views the political behaviour of individuals and the subsequent outcomes of relations between states as ultimately mediated by and constructed upon the emotions of fear and self-interest.

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4. You got to fight for the right to…: You’ve got to Fight…

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5. Mail, Key, Bike, etc. etc. etc.

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6. There are rules that you are not meant to follow in your life, they are your bullshit rules: Nkosi Sikilel iAfrika.

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7. The next step after freedom.

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8. I . have met many of these fine people in the past six years of my healing journey, far too many to mention, you know who you are, Thank you: Love Street.

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9. It travels hand in hand with integrity.

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10. Nothing, Nada, No way, Fuck Off: No Way, Get Fucked, Fuck Off.

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11. One word – Rumi!!

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12. It may be known as Nirvana: Come as You Are.

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13. Ask, expect. depend: Cry Freedom.

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14. The curly haired eccentric one knows how to say it: Believe.

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15. And our final lesson, two words: Fuck Yes.

What workshops will I do, they go all day supposedly. I will do ones that touch my heart.

Today’s playlist is great. A classic from The Hollies, The Beastie Boys next imploring you to …, A stirring National Anthem is thrown in next. Three of my faves from different eras, The Doors, The Angels from OZ, finishing with Nirvana. Mumford and Sons close it out with a plea to our senses: Freedom is a State of Mind.

Freedom to me would be the world living from Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until we meet again on the other side, my dear friends.

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We Make A Life By What We Give!!


What am I feeling? I am feeling pride in the 200 men I spent a day with at the Island of Men who had gathered to take a stand for we were in it together to become better men for each other, our families and friends, lovers and children. The day consisted of ceremonies and about twenty workshops on a wide range of subjects that could achieve the stated intention. The following poem was written by my mentor Arion about the day, it sums up what happened pretty damn well. Here is a link to his work: Living As Essence.

Men. When you take off your mask.
You break my heart, in every way. 
You share wisdom beyond your years
And unbearable trauma under that smile

Men, when you take off the mask
You show me bone-deep loneliness
No longer covered by the effort of living
And you break my heart, again

Men, when your mask falls away
I see tender beauty 
And breathtaking kindness 
That shatters all I knew, as you

Men, without masks 
I love you, I see you 
I see the depth of your feeling 
And the burden of keeping it down

Men free from masks 
I see your tears and tenderness 
And your ache to love and be loved
I see your true power stirring

Let celebrate all that is behind that mask 
In you, me and all of us 
Let’s start a rebellion 
Where we wear the masks no more

Let us cry in each other’s arms
Then build a new world, together
A world that bows to tenderness
In every living thing

Let us break our hearts together 
In our beauty and our pain 
I love you, I love me 
Let’s take this love, to the world.

So what has the world said about the power of community, here are a few of my favourites:

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1. We attended a magnificent event and are setting up structures so that we can fulfil the third stanza.

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2. There will be Shadow and Light moments on our journeys, but as it says when it’s hard, We’re In This Together: Let’s Stick Together.

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3. But due to all of us, the vulnerability of men and the power that can create will not be a secret much longer.

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4. And Yes, some of this happened: Bette Davis Eyes.

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5. And heaps of Bro Love, which I define as being truly seen by another man, of whatever age.

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6. I’m guessing this is not the Paul Ryan from the Tea Party in the States, great ethos though: I’m an Individual.

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7. Mark Hyman, MD, believes that we all deserve a life of vitality and that we have the potential to create it for ourselves. That’s why he is dedicated to tackling the root causes of chronic disease by harnessing the power of Functional Medicine to transform healthcare. Dr Hyman and his team work every day to empower people, organizations, and communities to heal their bodies and minds, and improve our social and economic resilience.

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8. Those African dudes know how to keep our intention simple: How Far I’ll Go.

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9. Gentleman, make some noise!!

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10. We Wee’d in nature on the island. it really gets you in contact with the power of the wellness offered by communing with the land: Oh, Well.

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11. And didn’t they share this so beautifully in the Heartspace process?

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12. A philosophical doctrine or approach to life that emphasizes social unity and generosity of spirit: Ubuntu.

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13. Even Rumi’s on our side.

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14. Here is my favourite movement creator, here are some of his words: I Have A Dream.

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15. And for our final lesson, Men of the Island remember the power of the snowflake.

There is so much great stuff happening across the communities of the world to have its heart space be transformed. It was an honour to attend one of them on Sunday.

There is a playlist, it has one of Australia’s greatest silly songs amongst other classics. We begin with Bryan Ferry them move to Kim Carnes. Who remembers Jacko then a musical tune from Moana. One of the great early Fleetwood Mac numbers follows then a world music number from World Edition. We finish with the wisdom of Martin Luther King: We Make A Life By What We Give.

If you really knew me, you would know in my heart there lives the statement: Love and Respect For All, Everybody Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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A Happy Heart makes the face Free!!


Danielle LaPorte says that when you are living from your joy and working for meaningfulness, you are:

A. WAY more healthy and effective

B. SO much more fun to be around (Hello love and magnetism)

C. MUCH more able to make a contribution to the world around you.

You can look at it this way, in epic proportions: The planet needs you to be working from your joy, Humanity depends on you doing what’s meaningful to you. The future of civilization is counting on your fulfilling. No pressure. Here’s the micro perspective: You deserve to be lit up by what you do in the world. it’s your life.

There has been much said about being free and clear in our lives, here’s my selection:

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1. Pharrell Williams sings of the right to be happy in our lives, here is his suggestion how to achieve that state.

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2. Which definition of free calls to you: Hello.

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3. I am designing a workshop called Sacred Love Stories that increases peoples abilities to tell those stories that we think of people  knew about us they would never talk to us again. 

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4. Ah, The French, they do great quotes and philosophy as well as movies in my humble opinion: Clear Conscience.

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5. Show the world what lives in your heart, you are worth it!!

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6. From the great bard Anonymous another beautiful ode to being free and clear: Temporary Life.

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7. Another favourite depiction of what Danielle is talking about!!

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8. Loved that film it’s a Beautiful Life: Beautiful Life.

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9. Do not get caught up in their maze of madness. Live in your own story – Beautiful Words.

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10. I am excited about Today, Yay: Friday.

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11. If you make no mistakes, are you officially alive?

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12. Try a little ….., not why me: Try Me.

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13. What is calling you, for me it is Love and Respect for All: Everyone Included.

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14. Uncle Jim gets to the point immediately, how do you get lit up in the world and is it a happening thing at the moment: Riptide.

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15. Not sure why I chose this one. We are all students and teachers, get out there and fulfill life.

So Danielle finishes with the idea here is to see what lights you up,  so that you can plan to fell-have-do and experience more of that in your  life, Ready, Steady, Go.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends around the world from Melbourne, Australia

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Find Your Passion!!!!


Both of my English students have pulled the plug today so I get to write this blog a few hours earlier, I have decided to write an ode to my friend and anam cara Emeli Paulo. I met Emeli setting out chairs at a yoga and meditation event some years ago. Both Emeli and I are the sort of people who if they see something needs to be done we get in and do it. We introduced ourselves and I asked why she had come. Emeli said she was running a workshop that would address what stops you in your life from having what you want happen. I still have her card with Stop Running Away written on it. As always she delivered her promise.

I am reading Simon Sinek’s second book Leaders eat Last. If you don’t know who Simon is he’s the start with Why guy, here’s a link to his TED talk, the second most watched one in the history of TED ;How great Leaders inspire Action. Emeli had me stick to my Why, which I had been resisting for two and a half years: Love and Respect for All – Everyone Included.

Why, How, What, how has the world written about it over time, let’s have a look:

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1. Finding it difficult to get out of bed? Have you why written on your dresser window and it will go away.

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2. I’d lose that extra weight if I was motivated. Your only limit is You, Do it Now, If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you. Sounds like a Tony Robbins seminar in full flight. But if underneath it all, if you have not answered Why?, words spoken and written on parchment that will make no difference: No Excuses.

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3. Google has let me down, when I put in Coach Hite it brought up coach hire in Melbourne, Australia where I live, so he must remain anonymous, but it’s such a beautiful quote it deserves more.

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4. I always thought David Bowie was singing: Passion , turn to the left ilo Fashion, so here it is: Fashion.

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5. As kids we run around all day like this, then something happens. Time to take it back.

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6. In my youth I would boast I read Nietzsche to look cool, now he writes leadership and motivational quotes. His books are not quite so accessible: Roar.

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7. My birthday, is 17th July, must admit can’t remember the other. I do know where, at the Darebin Intercultural Centre one, windy, rainy day during a Melbourne winter.

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8. But Mummy, The unicorn was that big. Never forget your childhood unicorns: Dark Horse.

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9. In the mirror. It’s You, Yay!! Out on the streets to kick some ass.

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10. Here is the man himself, Simon Sinek, something we love called passion: beautiful words and ethos: Love is Action.

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11. This is what finding your Why allows you in life. Get on board, the bus is leaving now.

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12. My mentor Arion always says to have a vision and essence for any project you wish to fulfill in your life. It will be there to remind you when the going gets tough. Thanks brother , for that: You and Me.

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13. This is why we spend our lives finding our Why, because of the things that never were that we are meant to create, little or large,

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14. I’d add one, Know your Why on a daily basis: Believe in Yourself.

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15. One smile at a total stranger is enough to do this. Don’t be withholding.

I just realised you may not know what an Anam cara is? Anam Cara is the old gaelic term for “soul friend.” anam meaning soul and cara meaning friend. Anam Ċara is the title of a 1997 bestseller on “Celtic spirituality”, the first publication by Irish author and then-priest John O’Donohue. According to O’Donohue, the Irish term anam cara (lit. “soul-friend”) originates in Irish monasticism, where it was applied to a monk’s spiritual advisor.

The book was an international bestseller and catapulted the author to public notability as an author and much sought-after speaker and teacher particularly in the United States. O’Donohue left the priesthood in 2000. As O’Donohue puts it: The term is greatly misconstrued to mean “soul mate”, anam meaning soul and cara meaning friend.

What is Emeli’s Why. here is the link: Collective Potential.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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She believed she could, so she Did!!


I met the new police inspector for our region at an interfaith celebration last month, she is a 28 year veteran of the force and specializes in Social Justice, Kelly has renamed her team Dynamic Darebin. I like it a lot, when do we declare something as dynamic in our lives? Are our relationships dynamic, our finances dynamic, our careers dynamic.

Let us have a look at what people have said over the years that they find dynamic:

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1. Mahesh Sharma is an Indian politician belonging to the Bharatiya Janata Party. He was elected in the Indian general election, 2014 from Gautam Buddha Nagar. He is a physician by profession. 

If you wish to fulfill your ideas do not wait around.

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2. From the prolific philosopher, Anon. comes worldly advice people will not be lead by you if you are not seen as dealing with them on a day to day basis: If You’re Out There.

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3. Uneeka Jay is an award-winning speaker, personal consultant and the founder of Rewrite 365 LLC. Uneeka has over 20 years of progressive leadership experience in companies with revenues up to a half billion dollars. Using that experience, Uneeka effortlessly walks women through the process of rewriting their lives by refusing to settle. Rewrite is more than a brand for Uneeka; it is her life story.  Finding herself pregnant at age 16 and on welfare, she refused to allow statistics define her future.  She identified her Hatements (things preventing her from living her best life) and removed them one by one to achieve her goals. Uneeka lives her mantra; settling is not an option.

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4. Your time is now, you are neither too young or too  old: The Climb.

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5. My friend and mentor Arion said he liked it when I laughed, that it was new for me. I gave up a long time ago when my life was endangered. I feel dynamic when I do it.

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6. I think the person who takes a job in order to live – that is to say, for the money – has turned himself into a slave _ Joseph Campbell. Finally it’s never about the money: If we ever meet Again.

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7. However you do  it, via keyboard or artistically by pen and pencil, remember they cannot get it out of your brain once you have passed.

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8. When do you feel most dynamic? Doing your 9 ot 5 or doing what turns you on: Surprise, Honeycomb.

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9. Start Young!!

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10. Lolly Daskal is founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world. Based on a mix of modern philosophy, science,and nearly thirty years coaching top executives, Lolly’s perspective on leadership continues to break new ground and produce  exceptional results. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World: Brave.

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11. Being dynamic also means standing up for your truth, nor pretending to like others.

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12. Remember those times you thought, Why Me? And it turned you in a new wonderful direction  in your life, keep on keepin on: Everything happens for a reason!!

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13. And aren’t we glad he followed his own advice.

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14. This is such a beautiful ethos, may all creatives follow it: Heart of Gold.

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15. Matthew Kelly (born July 12, 1973 in Sydney, Australia) is a motivational speaker, author, business consultant, and founder of Dynamic Catholic. He is a founding partner at Floyd Consulting, a management consulting firm whose clients include more than 35 Fortune 500 companies. His lecture topics include identifying negative routines and actions in daily life, and the value and positive inspiration of Catholicism on everyday life.

So for me I feel dynamic when I am blogging and teaching English to improve relationships between the cultures in Darebin, we have 164 different ones.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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Why does this keep Happening?


The impossible happened, he won. Coming from the shadow world where he made promises he cannot keep because it is no longer the 1950’s, the world is an international stage and you cannot create a future looking back at the world’s past because the one thing you are guaranteed in life is change.

Yet this is one of the core values of mainstream media, that change is bad for the planet. Look at how they relate to alternative energy, entrepreneurship, and rehabilitation of prisoners versus a law and order regime. So let’s have a journey through the shadowlands:

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1. In the past few years, I have been exploring why when it got difficult I used to numb out. I discovered the work of Arion Light at The Activation School and have been living a journey through my body and what it takes for me to flourish since.

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2. Suan Sontag was active in writing and speaking about, or traveling to, areas of conflict, including during the Vietnam War and the Siege of Sarajevo. She wrote extensively about photography, culture and media, AIDS and illness, human rights, and communism and leftist ideology. Although her essays and speeches sometimes drew controversy, she has been described as “one of the most influential critics of her generation.”  Her most famous book is ” Against Interpretation ” : Batata Vada.

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3. We are entering the shadowlands when people take the truth to be what they are spewed out on mainstream media. A missing part of it is Fact checking, most of it would have to be taken off the air if that formula was added.

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4. I recently gave up drinking, a habit I took up to crush my empathic abilities in my early twenties. Since doing this I can relate to what Joanne is saying, that you can see too far, the reality for people that is hidden behind a mask: Rolling in the Deep.

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5. Born and raised in a Hindu merchant caste family in coastal Gujarat, western India, and trained in law at the Inner Temple, London, Gandhi first employed non-violent civil disobedience as an expatriate lawyer in South Africa, in the resident Indian community’s struggle for civil rights. After his return to India in 1915, he set about organising peasants, farmers, and urban labourers to protest against excessive land-tax and discrimination. Assuming leadership of the Indian National Congress in 1921, Gandhi led nationwide campaigns for easing poverty, expanding women’s rights, building religious and ethnic amity, ending untouchability, but above all for achieving Swaraj or self-rule.

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6. Author, poet, and essayist Ursula K Le Guin points out that yes, the planet is in balance, we may just not agree with what is going on: Balance.

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7. A number of phrases from Tennyson’s work have become commonplaces of the English language, including “Nature, red in tooth and claw” (In Memoriam A.H.H.), “‘Tis better to have loved and lost / Than never to have loved at all”, “Theirs not to reason why, / Theirs but to do and die”, “My strength is as the strength of ten, / Because my heart is pure”, “To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield”, “Knowledge comes, but Wisdom lingers”, and “The old order changeth, yielding place to new”. The latter of these is extremely relevant given the going on’s in the last few days.

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8. Remember when you first realized you had a shadow and tried to get away from it, you can’t: Moonshadow.

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9. One of the things we used to believe about the planet, that it was flat, no longer true. But a truth is, you cannot touch your shadow. You can accept them and take their power away, though.

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10. Ah, the french philosophers, not sure what this means, but they are beautiful words: Shadowplay.

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11. I agree with this line from Don’s hit there is not enough love in the World.

 

12. Sylvia is one of those creative geniuses who chose to take her own life well before the world wished to see her leave it : Sylvia’s poetry.

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13. One of the great fallacies of the new age movement is you can just ignore and let go of the shadows in your life. The more you walk away the more powerful they become.

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14. What a great sentence by Sylvia recognizing that we must have dark and light in our lives: The Young Ones.

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15. I hope Donald remembers this.

We are about to enter a world with the most powerful man using one liners as policy, it will be interesting times. What color do you want the wall to be?

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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