We Can’t Direct the Wind, but We can Adjust Sails!!


I was browsing through the offering of Brian Johnson’s Philosophers Notes, when he commented that he had never come across a book that he would recommend to read to help live an ideal life until he read Sonja Lyubmirsky’s The How of Happiness: A Practical Guide to Getting The Life You Want: Get It Here.

The key tenet of THE HOW OF HAPPINESS is that every human being has a happiness ‘set point’ which, depending on how high or low it is, can determine how positive or negative they feel. This book offers a practical approach to help readers increase their set point, and find a level of happiness above that which they would normally feel, and feel more satisfaction in life.

“In a nutshell, the fountain of happiness can be found in how you behave, what you think, and what goals you set every day of your life. ‘There is no happiness without action.’ If feelings of passivity and futility overcome you whenever you face up to your happiness set point or to your circumstances, you must know that a genuine and abiding happiness is indeed within your reach, lying within the 40 per cent of the happiness pie chart that’s yours to guide.”

Through remarkable studies with identical twins separated at birth, scientists have discovered that about 50% of our happiness is determined by our genetics and that we have what they call a “happiness set point”—a level of happiness we tend to gravitate toward. So 50% is FIXED. We can’t do anything about it. Now, there’s another 10% of our happiness that’s determined by our life circumstances. Most people spend all their energy on this variable but research shows that increasing our wealth, attractiveness and stuff like that has both a negligible and a temporary impact on our well-being. Which leads us to the 40% we want to focus on: “What makes up this 40 per cent? Besides our genes and the situations that we confront, there is one critical thing left: our behaviour. Thus the key to happiness lies not in changing our genetic makeup (which is impossible) and not in changing our circumstances (i.e., seeking wealth or attractiveness or better colleagues, which is usually impractical), but in our daily intentional activities. With this in mind, our pie chart illustrates the potential of the 40 per cent that is within our ability to control, the 40 per cent for room to maneuver, for opportunities to increase or decrease our happiness levels through what we do in our daily lives and how we think.”

Part II of the book delivers 12 Happiness Activities that’s been scientifically proven to increase our happiness levels. You’ll wanna get the book to explore the various studies that have established why these activities work and we’ll highlight a few of my favourites below. For now, here they are:

1. Expressing Gratitude

2. Cultivating Optimism

3. Avoiding Overthinking and Social Comparison

4. Practising Acts of Kindness

5. Nurturing Social Relationships

6. Developing Strategies for Coping

7. Learning to Forgive

8. Increasing Flow Experiences

9. Savouring Life’s Joys

10. Committing to Your Goals

11. Practising Religion and Spirituality

12. Taking Care of Your Body: Meditation + Physical Activity + Acting Like a Happy Person

(Another cool point Sonja makes again and again (!) throughout the book is that it’s *essential* for us to choose activities that inspire us as we’re much more likely to follow through on those activities than doing something we think we “should” do.)

So which of the above activities do you use to get your happy on? Statements on achieving happiness differ from their approach, here are just a few:

happy1

1. Considered one of the happiest people on the planet, His Holiness The Dalai Lama knows it is through your actions that this state is achieved.

happy2.jpeg

2. The first of the 12 activities mentioned above, expressing gratitude for the fact that recognising what we have is a powerful first step to happiness: Grateful.

happy3

3. A moot point to remember in the dark times.

happy4

4. As Mandy points out, It’s our daily intentional activities that ensure happiness, not those of others: Follow The Sun,

happy5

5. I got caught at the railway gates today, it went for five minutes. The person in the car behind me was losing it, this is a little thing.

happy6

6. Such a simple example, but beautiful in its concept: That’s Entertainment.

happy7.jpeg

7. An empowering fridge magnet to read daily.

happy8

8. Dancing is one way I choose to do it: Feel Good.

happy9

9. Waitley was also a founding member of the National Council for Self-Esteem and a former chairman of psychology for the U.S. Olympic Committee’s Sports Medicine Council. A worthy life of Happiness what a great title for the council.

happy10

10. Happiness spreads when you release it into the world due to its infectious nature: Spread a Little Happiness.

happy11

11. Back to the 1400’s for this quote that leaves out 50 per cent of the population. Erasmus was considered the greatest scholar of the Northern Renaissance.

happy12

12. Out beyond the horizon of accepting your imperfections lies the land of happiness: Perfect.

happy13

13. From the man with the most famous bedraggled hair in the world, Albert points out that giving away your happiness to people and things don’t really work.

happy14

14. I spent many years trying to be liked by everyone, it cost me a great deal of happiness, I’m getting better at not doing it: You Can’t Please Everybody.

happy15

15. And for our final look we return to the beginning of modern time, Seneca was around from 4 BC-AD 65. Still very relevant today though.

Pema Chodron says pretty much the same thing in her great book The Places That Scare You: “Acknowledging that we are all churned up is the first and most difficult step in any practice. Without compassionate recognition that we are stuck, it’s impossible to liberate ourselves from confusion. ‘Doing something different’ is anything that interrupts our ancient habit of indulging in our emotions. We do anything to cut the strong tendency to spin out… Anything that’s non-habitual will do—even sing and dance or run around the block. We do anything that doesn’t reinforce our crippling habits. The third most difficult practice is to then remember that this is not something we do just once or twice. Interrupting our destructive habits and awakening our heart is the work of a lifetime.”

The Playlist from today’s blog is quite joyous as you would expect songs dedicated to happiness to be. Empty Hands Music begins the journey, followed by an anthem from Xavier Rudd. I sneak some rock in with the Jam next, then some EDM with Felix Jaehn and Mike Williams. It gets a little darker with Sting followed by a beautiful duet from Ed Sheeran and Beyonce ending with some old time Funk from Rose Royce: We Can’t Direct the Wind, but We can Adjust Sails!!

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower

In a Cat’s eyes, All things belong to Cats.


I am part of a year-long training program called Warriors of Love where we declare a life essence and bring it into being powerful. I chose Intimate Belonging, my friend suggested I read Braving The Wilderness by Brene Brown: Get it Here.

I really enjoy Brene’s take on life, so I have been doing that this week, what really spoke to me was the following:

4 PRACTICES OF TRUE BELONGING

“What emerged from the responses to these questions were four elements of true belonging. These elements are situated in the reality of the world we live in today. The theories that emerge from this methodology are based on how we engage with the world in our everyday lives; they’re not hypothetical. This means you can’t develop a theory of true belonging without addressing how our increasingly polarised world shapes our lives and our experiences of connection and true belonging. I didn’t intend to write a book about belonging set against a backdrop of political and ideological chaos. But that’s not my call to make. My job is to be true to the data.

As you take a look at each of the four elements, you can see that each is a daily practice and feels like a paradox. They’re going to challenge us:

  1. People Are Hard to Hate Close Up. Move In.
  2. Speak Truth to Bullshit. Be Civil.
  3. Hold Hands. With Strangers.
  4. Strong Back. Strong Front. Wild Heart.”

Imagine if we everyone did this every day in their lives, what a different place the planet would be. In fact, how have we looked at belonging over the decades, here are a few of my favourite takes at it, profoundly Brene influenced:

tb1

1. Love and Belonging do not come out of a Mills and Boon episode, It comes from doing things that seem imperfect, that is vulnerable and real.

tb2

2. One of my daily battles, between the intellectualism of my mind and the love I have in my heart for my community: Love Myself.

tb3

3. Another Famous quoter named Brown. No relation, he was an African American baseball player born in the 1940’s.

tb4

4. Not by someone named Brown, but the worlds most famous, Ms Anonymous, this is an excellent recipe for well being: We are all Connected.

tb5

5. No change required, just genuinely being who you know you are.

tb6

6. Who wired us to use our mind to feel a sense of belonging not our hearts, a lousy person: You’re Worth It.

tb7

7. After 5 years of Mental Health episodes I woke up one day and made this decision, my life changed overnight.

tb8

8. A prominent 20th-century Jewish rabbi who was raised in Germany expelled to Poland by the Nazis and fled to America, Heschel’s sister Esther was killed in a German bombing. His mother was murdered by the Nazis, and two other sisters, Gittel and Devorah, died in Nazi concentration camps. He never returned to Germany, Austria or Poland. He once wrote, “If I went to Poland or Germany, every stone, every tree would remind me of contempt, hatred, murder, of children killed, of mothers burned alive, of human beings asphyxiated.: No Tears Left to Cry.

tb9

9. Self Love 101.

tb10

10. Have to think about this one, I apparently have not felt it fully: Feels.

tb11

11. Part of the four, Strong Back. Strong Front. Wild Heart.

tb12

12. When we talk about these, get vulnerable, we realise that: We are all in This Together.

tb13

13. If you feel like you belong where you are, why would there ever be a need for snobbery?

tb14

14. Renee has ten questions in her about Renee on her website, they were asked by a garden gnome apparently. My personal favourite:  If you could have a room full of any one thing, what would it be: The most delicious food from all over the world. Seriously. I travel to eat. It may seem shortsighted to you, but I swear I would be much happier than the jackass with a roomful of gold: We Belong.

tb15

15. How far can we take belonging? 

This box is a flub-up.
 

Aldo Leopold was an American author, philosopher, scientist, ecologist, forester, conservationist, and environmentalist. He was a professor at the University of Wisconsin and is best known for his book A Sand County Almanac (1949), which has sold more than two million copies. Leopold was influential in the development of modern environmental ethics and in the movement for wilderness conservation. His ethics of nature and wildlife preservation had a profound impact on the environmental movement, with his ecocentric or holistic ethics regarding land. He emphasised biodiversity and ecology and was a founder of the science of wildlife management. I think we forgot to take his advice.

Byron Katie has another great metaphor. She tells us that thinking the problem of belonging is “out there” is kinda like thinking the imperfect image on the movie screen is the problem. Nope. It’s the lint on the projector’s lens. Clean THAT off, and the movie screen of life is golden. “As you inquire into issues and turn judgments around, you come to see that every perceived problem appearing ‘out there’ is really nothing more than a misperception within your own thinking.”

A very bouncy playlist today. We begin with Hailee Steinfeld, then we do the connected dance. A positive number from Cimorelli, Arian Grande next, followed by Calvin Harris with a guest list of mega-stars. A boppy musical number from High School Musical, finishing up with an anthem from Pat Benatar: In a Cat’s eyes, All things belong to Cats.

Namaste until next time we meet, my dear friends:

namasteflower

 

If at First, you don’t Succeed, You’re Normal!!!


 

In her excellent, book: Mindset, The New Psychology of Success – How We Can Learn to Fulfill Our Potential: Get it here. Carol Dweck, Stanford University psychologist in decades of research on achievement and success, has discovered a truly groundbreaking idea-the power of our mindset.  Dweck explains why it’s not just our abilities and talent that bring us success-but whether we approach them with a fixed or growth mindset. The major difference between the two is as follows, Carol writes:

“The growth-minded athletes, CEOs, musicians, or scientists all loved what they did, whereas many of the fixed-minded ones did not. Many growth-minded people didn’t even plan to go to the top. They got there as a result of doing what they love. It’s ironic: The top is where the fixed-mindset people hunger to be, but it’s where many growth-minded people arrive as a by-product of their enthusiasm for what they do. This point is also crucial. In the fixed-mindset, everything is about the outcome. If you fail—or if you’re not the best—it’s all been wasted. The growth mindset allows people to value what they’re doing regardless of the outcome.”

“Is it ability or mindset? Was it Mozart’s musical ability or the fact that he worked till his hands were deformed? Was it Darwin’s scientific ability or the fact that he collected specimens non-stop from early childhood?” 

“People with the growth mindset know that it takes time for potential to flower.” ~ Carol S. Dweck, PhD.

So how has the growth-minded mindset been viewed over the centuries, here are a few of my favourite sayings:

minset1

1. Out there on the edge, that is where we discover what we love to do. What it is that we really want to spend our time on.

mindset2

2. What happens to the hundreds, even thousands of children’s mindset who were going to be astronauts when they grow up and that of the rare few that actually make it: How Far I’ll Go.

mindset3

3. The yellow ones say it all.

mindset4.jpeg

4. As long as you really believe 100 per cent, another way of saying doing something you love: I Believe In Miracles.

mindset5

5. First attempt in Learning, Forever Acquiring Important Lessons, First Action in Learning equals your flaws.

mindset6

6. My group is called the Warriors of Love, brought together by my mentor Arion Light to spread Essence work around the globe: Essence.

mindset7

7. Did you see that chance fly by? No sorry, it isn’t part of my growth mindset.

mindset8

8. Definitely, from the land of the growth mindset, a challenge may not exist as a concept in Fixed Mindset land: Hey World, Don’t Give Up.

mindset9

9. “Every child needs someone to be crazy about them.” These are the words of Salome Thomas-EL, award-winning teacher and principal, and nationally recognized educator. They shape his life-long commitment to answering the question, “How do we ensure that every child achieves their greatest potential?” This question lies at the heart of the national dialogue on education policy, the day in and day out work of school personnel, and the hopes of every parent. Central to this challenge is how we succeed with children who are facing the most serious barriers to success: poverty, violence, neglect, and low expectations.

mindset10

10. It’s easier to master when it is truly doing what you love: #that Power.

mindset11

11. Everything, your body is not deaf, like we think it is at times.

mindset12

12. They have growth mindsets, they came out as someone’s bundle of joy just like the rest of us: Not Afraid.

mindset13

13. From Carol, three amazing important W questions to ask yourself each day.

mindset14

14. Beep, Stop-Go: I am not my Hair!!

mindset15

15. Obstacles, challenges, mistakes, frustrations, etc. etc. , all part of life.

What is the danger of the fixed mindset? If you are stuck in this mindset it can get us in (a lot of!) trouble. Let’s take a quick look at the “growth mindset”: “In this mindset, the hand you’re dealt is just the starting point for development. The growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Although people may differ in every which way—in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments—everyone can change and grow through application and experience.”

Some rock rhythms in today’s playlist. It begins with a soundtrack hit from Alessia Cara, then Hot Chocolate have us believe in miracles. We then rock it out with Lucinda Williams and Michaele Frente. Then pop from this century with Will.I.Am, an Eminem anthem finishing with India.Arie: If at First, you don’t Succeed, You’re Normal

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

Namaste2

 

We want Presence, Not Presents!!!


Amy Cuddy’s TED talk on Your Body shapes who you are is the second most watched after Sir Ken Robinson’s one on Creativity. Her book on Presence, funnily enough, called Presence: Get it Here. is a powerful look into what separates the great from the ordinary. In it, Amy states:

“The opposite of powerlessness must be power, right? In a sense, that’s true, but it’s not quite that simple. The research I’ve been doing for years now joins a large body of inquiry into a quality I call presence. Presence stems from believing in and trusting yourself—your real, honest feelings, values, and abilities. That’s important, because if you don’t trust yourself, how can others trust you? Whether we are talking in front of two people or five thousand, interviewing for a job, negotiating for a raise, or pitching a business idea to potential investors, speaking up for ourselves or speaking up for someone else, we all face daunting moments that must be met with poise if we want to feel good about ourselves and make progress in our lives. Presence gives us the power to rise to these moments.”

Presence = “the state of being attuned to and able to comfortably express our true thoughts, feelings, values, and potential.” Note: That’s not a *permanent* state of nirvanic bliss. It’s a moment-to-moment experience in which “We are no longer fighting ourselves; we are being ourselves.”

How do you relate to being present, for me, it has been an ongoing dichotomy with that little voice in my head that says Who do you think you are to………………….., fill in the dots. How has the world related to Presence over time, here are a few of my favourite takes at it:

presence1

1. In September 2011, Mos Def joined the cast of the environmental children’s hip-hop musical – Pacha’s Pajamas: A Story Written By Nature – as narrator. He stated “the earth was given as a trust to mankind, so we have a responsibility to look after it, take care of it, treat it with respect ’cause it’s a gift from the creator to us… We’re so dependent on the natural world. The natural world’s also dependent on us… If we don’t treat it good, it’s not gonna treat us very good either.”

presence2

2. Perfectionism, often related to as the booby prize, when do perfectionists begin their projects: Living in the Moment. 

presence3

3. During my Mental Health period, it was the presence of my siblings that got me through, not their words.

presence4

4. I have reduced my Facebook online presence from seven days a week to three to express the above scenario: Glorious. 

presence5

5. We all know people who enter the room, and the room stops.

presence6

6. Where’s Wally: In my Presence.

presence7

7. Remember to add value wherever you are at any time.

presence8.jpeg

8. I am still seeking that special someone: Boo’d Up.

presence9

9. In 1969, Harbhajan Singh established the 3HO (Healthy, Happy, Holy Organization) Foundation to further his missionary work. The Yogi’s brand of Sikhism appealed to the hippies who formed the bulk of his early converts. The Sikh practice of not cutting one’s hair or beard was already accepted by the hippie culture, as was Sikh vegetarianism. They liked to experience elevated states of awareness and they also deeply wanted to feel they were contributing to a world of peace and social justice. Yogi Bhajan offered them all these things with vigorous yoga, an embracing holistic vision, and an optimistic spirit of sublime destiny.

presence10

10. Another way Eckhart Tolle expresses the Power of Now equalling being present: Redemption Song.

presence11

11. Soul presence, very special.

presence12

12. Drescher’s first acting break was a small role as the dancer Connie in the blockbuster movie Saturday Night Fever (1977), in which she delivered the line “So, are you as good in bed as you are on the dance floor?” to John Travolta’s character. She is a uterine cancer survivor: Fran Rocking It.

presence13

13. Marshall gifted the world Non-Violent Communication. According to his biographer, Marjorie C. Witty, “He has a fierce face– even when he smiles and laughs. The overall impression I received was of intellectual and emotional intensity. He possesses a charismatic presence. 

presence14

14. Right Here, Right Now: Right Here, Right Now.

presence15

15. Some of these conversations are silent.

Amy also asks us to recall a moment when you felt personally powerful. A time when you felt fully in control of your own psychological state—when you had the confidence to act based on your boldest, most sincere self, with the sense that your actions would be effective. Maybe it was at work, at school, at home, or in some other part of your life. Take a few minutes right now to remember and reflect on that experience of your personal power, on how it felt.

It’s that feeling we seek in our life, it’s available moment to moment if we let it blossom.

We begin with some modern tunes this playlist. Starting off is Jason Mraz, then Macklemore, Drake and Ella Mai. Then back in time to Bob Marley, Fran Drescher, yes, the Nanny, finishing off with a Fatboy Slim classic: We want Presence, not Presents.

Namaste until next time my dear friends, there’s now a search button to look up your favourite blog subjects:

Namaste2

Strength isn’t the ability to feel Strong!!


How do you relate to the story of David and Goliath? “David has nothing to lose, and because he has nothing to lose, he has the freedom to thumb his nose at the rules set by others.” In his excellent book David and Goliath: Get it Here. Malcolm Gladwell writes

“It was not the privileged and the fortunate who took in the Jews in France. It was the marginal and the damaged, which should remind us that there are real limits to what evil and misfortune can accomplish. If you take away the gift of reading, you create the gift of listening. If you bomb a city, you leave behind death and destruction. But you create a community of remote misses. If you take away a mother or a father, you cause suffering and despair. But one time in ten, out of that despair rises an indomitable force. You see the giant and the shepherd in the Valley of Elah and your eye is drawn to the man with the sword and shield and the glittering armour. But so much of what is beautiful and valuable in the world comes from the shepherd, who has more strength and purpose than we ever imagine.”

So how has the world handled turning a weakness into strength, here’s what they have said:

weak1

1. Feel those feeling, if you don’t they will keep coming back stronger and stronger until you have the strength to deal with them.

weak2

2. Light and Shadow all rely on Love: California Love.

weak3

 

3. Due to his father’s untimely death, J.C. Penney could not fulfil his dream to become a lawyer. Instead, he had to become a lowly store clerk, the rest is history.

weak5

4. You can choose how to relate to your perceived weaknesses: 

weak6

5. Well done, You!!

weak7

6. Fear = Forever Enduring, Always Ready; Forgetting Everything is All Right; Fear Expressed Allows Relief: When You Believe.

weak8

7. Maya Angelou, one of my top ten.

weak9

8. One foot in front of another, no looking back. That’s how I became a marathoner from a 60 a day cigarette smoker in six months: No Looking Back.

weak11

9. Vulnerability = Brene Brown’s fabulous TED talk on the subject, Google It.

weak12

 

10. And from the other side of the world, here’s their say on it: When I am Overcome by Weakness.

weak13

11. Remember these questions from your job interviews?

weak14

12. The answer isn’t running away, it’s in turning to face them and overcoming the storm: Riders On the Storm.

weak15

13. Take a dose of courage daily and you will give strength to those areas of your life that may need some loving.

weak16

14. Another way of looking at doing what it takes: The Lion Sleeps Tonight.

weak17

15. We all have growth spurts in our life that allow us to do things after them we couldn’t do before.

David and Goliath.

It’s time to revisit our ideas of strength and weakness.

It’s time to see that underdogs and misfits have advantages in their disadvantages and that we can powerfully turn difficulties into opportunities.

Here’s to embracing ALL of who we are as we optimize, actualize and give our gifts to the world!

There are songs by three greats no longer with us in the playlist today. We begin with Tupac, then Hilary Duff doing some country, a Whitney Houston anthem follows,  a great new singer Damita, from Syria Ghada Alatrash, then Jim and the Doors, finishing with a powerful performance by Ladysmith Black Mambazo and the Mint Juleps: Strength Isn’t the Ability to Feel Strong.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends:

namasteflower

How Do I Make It Up To You?


Been journeying the workshop scene lately: Dancing Eros for Men – a 7-week journey into the female archetypes, Expand The Box and Possibility Lab, two 5 day journeys into radical responsibility and the Tantra is Love Sexuality workshop last weekend.

Each comes with notes and exercises of sorts and I am really enjoying reading and expanding from Clinton Callahan/s book Directing the Power of Conscious Feelings: Grab a copy. In this life-altering book, there are the distinctions between low and high drama. Low drama is what we play out with each other, fulfilling one of the roles of victim, rescuer or perpetrator in our day to day scenarios, we are very skilled at this as we are trained from a very early age to fill one of these roles.

High drama is taking responsibility for change in your life. The page I opened the book to has a list about how to train yourself in living in a high drama state, here it is:

  1. Refuse to leave the adult ego state, where you are yourself in the minimized now of the present moment. Put a stake in the ground there.
  2. Declare that you are not a victim. If there is not a victim, there can be no low drama.
  3. Consciously feed your four distinct feelings: anger, sadness, joy, fear.
  4. Detect if you are experiencing a present feeling or an emotion projected from your past or from an authority figure or institution ( Hint, if the feeling lasts longer than a few minutes, it is an emotion.)
  5. Use your emotions to detect the healing you need to do.
  6. Use your feelings to responsibly handle things
  • Make a boundary/become the boundary
  • Ask for what you want
  • Make a decision yes or no
  • Make a distinction, be precise
  • Start something/End Something

7. Neutrally observe what is going on. Choose what is.

8. Make a paper thin gap of nothingness between you and your box

9. Take radical responsibility for creating your circumstances. It is no one else’s fault.

10. If there are other people’s voices in your head, blast them away with your voice blaster.

11. Apologise for your patterns that have caused the breakdown.

12. Willingly enter the pain of remorse. Clear your resentments.

13. Be authentic about your inauthenticity.

14. Determine whose problem it is. If it is your problem, take responsibility. If it is not your problem, it is none of your business.

15. Get centred, Find and keep your attention. Stay unhookable.

16. Use your innate genius to continuously invent new ways to get out of a low drama.       Share what you learn with your friends and your enemies.

For the terms you do not understand, I recommend getting the book. Responsibility  is one of those words that can plug you in  if you are operating from low drama, so what does our society say about it, here are a few statements about it:

resp1

1. Being in your now is another part of the training, some of us hang around in our now for 15 years, what if now was three seconds.

resp2

2. But I can’t, Its too hard, I’m scared, which way is this: The Real Slim Shady.

resp3

3. One plays in the dirt, the other soars above storms.

resp4

4. Yes, you, you are one powerful motherf****: Diamonds.

resp5

5. What is your word for it?

resp6

6. Hal actually died at age 20. Hit head-on by a drunk driver at 70 miles per hour, he was clinically dead for 6 minutes, broke 11 bones, and eventually woke from a coma to be told by doctors that he would never walk again. Not only did Hal walk, but he also went on to run a 52-mile ultra-marathon and become a hall of fame business achiever—before the age of 30: Back From The Dead.

resp7

7. Another word for a perpetual victim.

resp8

8. The most natural path to fulfilling your destiny, take responsibility for your life: Buttons.

resp9

9. If you can own no matter, you instantly become free.

resp10

10. Actions not words, for me. I watched Question Time for our legislature yesterday and could clearly see why they lost the confidence of the general population a long time ago, it was like a bad stand up comedy performance: This is Me. 

resp11.jpeg

11. Reading mainstream media makes it okay not to do this, it is all low drama.

resp12

12. The three-sided triangle, the cause, the solution and the matter, Yes, please: What makes you Stronger.

resp13

13. What a great insight to have in our lives.

resp14.jpeg

14. Are you really a leader if you do not ultimately accept it: Responsibility. 

resp15

15. “A new civilization is emerging in our lives, and blind men everywhere are trying to suppress it. This new civilisation brings with it new family styles; changed ways of working, loving, and living; a new economy; new political conflicts; and beyond all this an altered consciousness as well…The dawn of this new civilisation is the single most explosive fact of our lifetimes.”

Alvin Toffler, from The Third Wave (1980)

Here is an example of low drama vs. high drama: You are the dinner table, and you would like some water to drink, and you say “I am really thirsty,” you are playing victim to a low drama, trying to manipulate someone else into rescuing you. If instead, you say, “Harry, will you please pass the water, you are playing the warrior in a high drama. High drama is that simple.

All but one song are from this century on today’s playlist: We begin with Eminem and Rhianna. We then shift to rock with Skillet, then three pop divas, firstly The Pussy Cat Dolls, Kesha and finishing the trio with Kelly Clarkson. Finally one for the kids by Dolly Parton. Here’s the playlist link: How Do I Make It Up to You.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower

I Saw That – Karma!!


Exceptionalism = Unusual ; not typical. Reading the Philosophers Notes for Dr Bob Rotella’s great book How Champions Think I was struck by the following statement:

“One of the concepts I struggle with when I work with people both inside and outside of sport is reality. … My job with such people is to get them to understand and believe that exceptional people create their own reality. The average person won’t set a goal unless he thinks, and people close to him think, that he has at least a fifty-fifty chance of reaching it. That’s what the average person considers a realistic goal. The average person takes account of all the information that’s out there saying he can’t do something. If let’s say, he thinks about committing himself to become the best basketball player he can be and getting a college scholarship, he’ll be aware of the fact that maybe one high school player in thirty gets a college scholarship. Since that seems to make the odds a lot worse than fifty-fifty, the average person is likely to give up on that goal before he even commits to trying to reach it, settling for mediocrity in high school and giving up the game thereafter.

The exceptional person, the person who does great things, doesn’t see things that way. The exceptional person has a vision—of great performances, of a great career, of a great something— and doesn’t care about what others might say or think. He ignores information that suggests his dream is unrealistic. He just sets about making that vision a reality. He sees things before others see them. He creates his own reality. Afterwards, other people may say to him, ‘We knew you could do it. We always sensed you were going to be one of the great ones.’ But that’s probably not what he heard in the beginning. In the beginning, he probably heard, ‘You have to be crazy to think you can do that.’”

Rotella says: Average people are “realistic.” Exceptional people CREATE their reality.

So how does society relate to exceptionalism, here are some of the things they say:

except1.jpeg

1. As part of exceptionalism, you must relate to the above koan, because you will not always win.

except2.jpeg

2. Aren’t we always looking for a sign from God to confirm what we already know, here it is: Gods Plan.

except3.jpeg

3. From The Monk who sold his Ferrari, luck has nothing to do with being exceptional, you need to put in the hard yards.

except4.jpeg

 

4. When you ran those ten extra laps when you were a kid, I can still hear my friends calling me crazy, I later became a marathoner: Crazy, Sexy, Wild.

except5

5. More Ferrari moments.

except6

6. We create a box early on in our life so people can recognise us, how do you expand it to fit in your amazing: Lose Yourself.

except7

7. A new standard of imagination, they don’t teach that to you in schools.

except8

8. Nothing to get in your way as you approach your greatness, they are all left behind: Go The Extra Mile.

except9

9. Back to the 14th Century and the founder of the Jesuits for a quote that is still relevant today, the former deeds are what makes the difference.

except10

10. Actress, model, dancer and humanitarian, Audrey Hepburn lived and walked the talk of the second interpretation of the above letters: La Vie En Rose.

except11

11. Find the others who will say it about you, they are your keepers.

except12

12. Because its Maya, and she was exceptional: Love Liberates.

except13

13. Another word for Exceptionalism.

except14

14. Nine to Five is not it: Nine to Five.

except15

15. There is no right way for exceptionalism, you have to do what it takes.

Life is a precious (!!!) gift. We’re blessed with an opportunity to see just how good we can be at something we love doing. We get to have a ball for many years seeing how many beautiful things we can do with our lives. For each of us, this is unique. Get out there on the journey to what is your exceptional gift to give to humanity.

Today’s playlist wanders over the generations, something for the millennials and the grandparents. We begin with Drake and Inna for the younger at heart. Back to the beginning of rap with Eminem. Spoken word from Motivation 2016 comes next then from Grannies time Audrey Hepburn, is that French? We finish with two iconic women, Maya Angelou and Dolly Parton. Here’s the link: I saw that – Karma.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends:

namasteflower