Fill your Heart with what is Important!!


“I love, accept, and express that I fill myself first so I can heal the world.”  This is the affirmation Steve Sisgold of Whole Body Intelligence,His website got Lissa Rankin to use when she realised her belief system was the following: “You’re selfish and narcisstic if you take care of yourself first. You have no value unless you’re helping others. Your blog audience won’t love you anymore unless you give until you’re depleted. Your mother won’t love you anymore, either.”

This made my stomach turn as I was reading the secind statement, I think it covers some of my beliefs pretty well. Here is the Hero’s practice called Check Your Motives from Lissa’s book an Anatomy of a Calling:

Check Your Motives:

The next time you consider being helpful ir saying yes to service, pause. Get quiet, and ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” Are you afraid of disappointing someone if you say no? Are you motivated by pity or fear? Will you fear like, “not enough” if you don’t do  it? Are you trying to impress someone? Does it exhaust you to even think about saying yes? If any of these feel true, graciously say no to the opportunity to serve, knowing that you are not just filling yourself first but also protecting yourself from getting caught in a Rescuer/Victim/Persecutor triad, which will lead you to inadvertantly hurt yourself and others.

If, however, you are motivated by surges of love – which generate the impulse to leap out of your chair and say yes, free of any hidden language – go for it! If you’re so far down the spiritual path that there is little “self” to self-sacrifice and you are full to the brim with the desire fir pure service, knowing how fulfilling it is to serve in a clean way, say yes.

Practice this exercise every time you are inclined to serve. This will help you learn to be very discerning about your relationship to service and those you serve, and as a result, you will not only avoid depleting yourself but also expand your capacity for fulfillment and joy.

So how does the world relate to filling ones self up before others, It should be an  interesting journey:

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1. Once you are a bunch of smouldering ashes you are not much use to anyone.

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2. It’s never to late to write your bestseller, that one you don’t tell others about: Your Song.

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3. This is the number one way to stoppbecoming depleted in your life.

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4. The more energy you have and that you shine on the world the more you can give to it: I Gotta Feeling.

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5. The more you hide who you really are, the more harm can be done to you and by you.

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6. From one of TV”s favourite fictional characters comes some practical wisdom about filling yourself first: Love Myself.

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7. Ask yourself before you say Yes, What would Love Do in this situation?

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8. Heed the warming, rehydrate your soul when it needs it: Take care of Yourself.

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9. Manifexting with Marla, catchy name for a great piece of advice.

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10. Deepak’s friend Oprah has this to say about this , in a much more pragmatic way: When you undervalue what you do, the world will undervalue who you are:Give it UP to Me.

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11. Remember, to help with human rights, yours must be included amongst them.

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12. Might fine advice, R.Z., will help keep one out of the Rescuer/Victim/Persecutor triad: Put a little Love in your Heart.

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13. Remember to complete your Hero’s Journey, not everyone or everything will make ot to the end.

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14. Here in Australia, we have a condition called the tall poppy syndrome. It’s very dangerous for the future of our country: That’s What I Like.

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15. That deep satisfaction has to exist within your soul before there is any chance of another giving it to you.

When you’re motivated by the soul’s yearning rather than the ego’s “not enoughness” giving to others feeds you. Service can be like breathing. You give on the exhale, but the giving itself breathers life into you and you are nourished by the giving. So remember to do the exercise so that you are chosing from love and not depleting your life-force.

Music this week includes Annie Lennox, Al Green and Shakita. Enjoy!!

Namaste until next time , my dear friends

namaste prayer

Let not your Love become Attachment!!


A mission statement for a Blog by Lissa Rankin:

“We are committed to inviting you to explore your truth, knowing you are loved, safe and nurtured. We believe that true healing comes from loving and nurturing both ourselves and others as whole beings. When we own all the disparate parts of ourselves, we tap into the divine spark within us, allowing us to release limiting beliefs, overcoming fears, and enjoy our lives more fully. Once we are in touch with our own divinity – shedding our masks, revealing our authentic selves, and being accepted just as we are- we can see with “magical eyes,” gazing beyond the masks we tend to wear to see the unique and special humanity that lies within us all.

By engaging with our community, we hope you will feel inspired, get motivated to bring your authentic self out of the closet, and take steps that bring you closer to health, healing and inner peace. If you have lost your mojo and feel you have little to give, we welcome you with no expectations. If you have lots to give in service to those in need, we invite you to share your gifts. Chances are good you are all of the above – sometimes seeking, sometimes giving, always enough..

Regardless of where you are on your personal path of awakening, we welcome you. Let us bear witness to your journey, knowing that while each of us walk a unique path, we walk it in good company.”

Lissa’s book The Anatomy of A Calling The Website., is worth visiting at least yearly as it contains so many profound gems about being on purpose.

But first of all she suggests you need to give up attachment, what do we say about attachment across the airwaves and through time: Here is a selection I have chosen to illustrate it:

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1. This is one I have struggled with over time, that the answer lies within not externally. Working on it daily.

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2. Why do we become flustered when the world started operating in a different way to that we know it should be, this is what happens when we hold on too tight: Holding on to Broken Things.

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3. What did Buddha mean by this, much to ponder in 7 simple words.

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4. You can’t should’ve done something. Gold: It was a Good Day.

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5. The Inner Universe, that’s where the healing lives and lies.

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6.  When we stop waiting to reply and genuinely listen to others, Its amazing how many of our judgements slip away: Crippled Inside.

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7. How often do we battle with these thing in our lives – The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.

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8. Judgement often feels chaotic, It’s not your task, bring on the calm: A Thousand Years.

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9. Love me a few of Pema’s wise words, get her books , they are magic.

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10. Here’s a memory test: Out damn spot, think High School: Time to Let Go.

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11. Lots of practice here, heart and  mind, methinks.

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12. Do we have the courage to give up that which has become toxic for us, I did it with alcohol over 3 years ago, feel so much better: Don’t Stop Believing.

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13. Surfs UP, which are your favourite emotions to surf, which put you in danger. Perhaps it’s time to give up your attachment to those waves.

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14. This is the  one thing in life I wish for more than anything else, to fly unaided. I have not been willing to give up everything that weighs the possibility down: I’ll Fly Away.

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15. The field of all possibilities: Has anyone ever reached this blissful state, or would it be so scary that we would implode?

Why is it difficult to detach from the beliefs and judgments that belittle  us? Perhaps as Craig Hamilton says in his Integral Enlightenment series ” The ego  as the part of you that has a need to see ourselves as a particular way” has a lot to do with it. Daily exercise in detaching what we know to be true sounds a great way to discover how to empower the purpose we were put on this planet for.

Namaste until next time , my dear friends.

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My Plan is To……..


There is much discussion as to whether you can lead a balanced life and succeed in the higher echelons of leadership. In his excellent book Leaders eat Last, Simon Sinek points out that not it is only possible it is in fact desirable if you are looking for an efficiently run company.

A leader who uses the top down management approach these days looks fated for the scrap heap. During the GFC of 2007 to 2008 fifty percent of America’s banks failed mainly due to their culture being based on making the holy dollar to the point that they had made some very unwise decisions in chasing larger and larger profits. Businesses that were more balanced in their cultures were able to survive due to the loyalty of their staff.

So what does a balanced life look like, let’s mosey on down that trail:

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1. We create as much information every two days as we did in the entire year of 2003. I think this means that the chances of us doing everything have long gone by the way.

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2. The near first female POTUS points to your job title is not the be all and end all of what provides a satisfactory life: Get a Job.

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3. Love Thomas Merton, didn’t know he was a Catholic priest until just now. A Trappist monk of the Abbey of Gethsemani, Kentucky, he was a poet, social activist, and student of comparative religion.

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4. What a living example Eat , Pray, Love is of this beautiful quote: I’m not in Love.

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5. Star of 9 to 5, what a way to make a living, don’t have this be the major focus of your life and forget your dreams.

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6. Number five seems a tad out of place from the rest: Who You Are!!

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7. For me being silly and letting loose would be challenging, how about you?

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8. Mindmapping , there are three or four for me that are not in balance at the moment: Mo Bounce.

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9. One of the greatest living philosophers, Ms. Unknown shows us a tactic to inner balance.

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10. Koan or meme, what will I call them today. But remember to watch and spend time in today’s beauty: You are so Beautiful to Me.

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11. Attitude: when someone makes a settled way of thinking or feeling about something. … For example: You can tell a person’s attitude just by watching his body posture if he likes something or not. Aptitude: It’s a natural ability to do something or a natural tendency.

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12. The greatest skill in  life one must get rid of if they wish to lead a balanced life: Confessions of a Perfectionist.

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13. We have all seen that cartoon  of life as we hope it will go versus how it actually occurs, we spend a lot of time undoing knots.

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14. SETH GODIN is the author of 18 books that have been bestsellers around the world and have been translated into more than 35 languages. He writes about the post-industrial revolution, the way ideas spread, marketing, quitting, leadership and most of all, changing everything: Holiday.

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15. I love this list, it has helped balance my life on a daily basis.

I actually have terrible balance on my left side, I can’t do the Tai Chi white crane at all, perhaps I need to look at what has it out of kilter.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namaste prayer

 

How to walk on Water?


Cleaning up I found Marc and Angel Chernoff’s great so not little book 1000+ Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently. I flipped it open and the tale was How to Walk on Water. The premise was there was a child running into the shallows and Marc asked him what was he doing? Trying to walk on water he replied.

Marc gave him 9 pieces of advice, here’s the list

1. Make sure you were born to walk on water

2. Decide that nothing can stop you

3. Work on it for real

4. Let the whole world know what you’re up to

5. Value the people who value your ambitions

6. Ignore the negative naysayers

7. Prepare your self for the pain

8. Enjoy the pain of your greatest challenges

9. Never give up! Never Quit!

Each have a vignette of words underneath them , I especially liked number five, so today we discuss being valued. I hold the work of Marc and Angel as being value so here is the link to their webpage www.marcandangel.com

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1. Everybody who has ever lost someone at an early age before their time was expected to end knows the effect of this quote, love and hugs your way.

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2. HHDL says we are making a big mistake these days, we value things, not people and it should be the other way around. Reverse that car, baby: Diamonds

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3. My friend Yoko runs a natural food cafe and recently started charging 50 cents for takeaway containers. She posted that only one person had abused her for it and that other people were starting to bring their own containers. the feedback of support she got was amazing. Don’t give in ot the one.

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4. Oscar wrote this some time in the 19th century, do you think we have listened to him, Not: Love doesn’t cost a Thing.

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5. No words needed really.

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6. Translates to self love , really: Roar.

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7. You cannot take your assets with you, your actions are what remains in the conversations of those left behind.

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8. it’s often when we face loss that this quote hits home: Thanks for the Memories.

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9. Can’t take it with you again.

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10. Buffett is a notable philanthropist, having pledged to give away 99 percent of his fortune to philanthropic causes, primarily via the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. In 2009, with Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg, Warren founded The Giving Pledge, whereby billionaires pledge to give away at least half of their fortunes. I like this value: Give it Away.

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11. You get the final say, everything else is dross.

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12. Remember your worth, It’s time to say goodbye to that someone: Beautiful.

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13. If they only fit you in when it suits them, It’s time to move on.

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14. What will they think, what if……., etc. etc. Value yourself and this goes away: Closer.

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15. And for the final point, always value kindness, spread some of its magic value today.

I love the lists of Marc and Angel Chernoff, they are in my top ten on the net, I recommend you check them out.

Namaste until next time , my dear friends

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How do You ……..?


The Challenge of leading in a culture of never enough  is in chapter six of Daring Greatly which is headed Disruptive Engagement: Daring to rehumanize Education and Work. One of the questions asked in it is What’s the most significant barrier to creativity and innovation? The answer given is quite lengthy, but worth reading –

“I don’t know if it has a name, it’s the fear of introducing an idea and being ridiculed, laughed at, and belittled. If you’re willing to subject yourself to that experience and if you survive it, then  it becomes the fear of failure and the failure of being wrong. People believe they are only as good as their ideas and that their ideas can’t seem too “out there’ and that they can’t ‘know everything’ The problem is that innovative ideas often sound crazy and failure and learning are part of revolution. Evolution and incremental change is important and we need it, but we’re desperate for real revolution and that requires a different type of courage and creativity”.

The rehumanizing of work and education will take courageous leadership, so who is out there commenting on it,, let’s have a look:

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1. How did you act when you were challenged, did you lead others or were you a victim to it?

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2. Always remember that people you are leading have qualities that you must take in consideration: Don’t you worry Child.

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3. If your people are just coming to work to collect their money at the end of the week, you are not doing your job as a leader, you are managing the Titanic just before it sinks.

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4. If you train people to replace you and make yourself redundant that is closer to the mark of leadership: Mother Teresa.

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5. I used to try and run away from my struggles, sometimes over a thousand kilometres, the only thing was when I got there, the reason for the struggles was still there because it was within me.

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6. When I saw this I just had to include it to showcase why we should be very very afraid: Trump on Woman.

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7. They can give you tips and techniques but it is what you do with them after the event that matters.

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8. If you are doing it for another circumstances in your life will start to get in the way, if you are doing it for yourself, well that’s a different matter: Pony.

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9. This may be the only quote by Joshua J. Marine, there is little information about who he actually is.

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10. Does leadership come from the head or the heart, I’ll let you answer that: Heart of Gold.

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11. One word: Leadership = Oprah.

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12. The road to Leadership is not the road of less. It is in being better, more skillful and wiser: Wiser.

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13. The quickest road to true leadership is to learn the lessons the first time they are revealed to you.

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14. There are many books on the art of leadership out there, this quote speaks to the fact that that is what true leadership is, an artform: Art for Art’s Sake.

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15. As I mentioned before in great leadership there is a quality of redundancy, that it would happen if you were not there.

So, famous people and totally obscure people make comment on leadership which means you still have the time to exhibit yours this lifetime, Go for it , we need you and it to flourish.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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You are my greatest Adventure!!


I am re-reading Brene Browns great book, Daring Greatly. I must admit I haven’t completed it in three tries because I get so much out of it each time I put it down and reflect on the wisdom received before I get to the end. The latest is a  line: It’s not what you do, Its why you do it that makes the difference. It’s in the section about The care and feeding of our spirits. In it Brene talks about a distinction called shadow comforts – the difference between doing something to empower ourselves versus numbing behaviour.

What does life do to empower our spirits and what does it say about it, time to journey:

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1. From  one of the greats comes advice to believe our intuition first over others words.

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2. When you behold a guru in action, passion grabs a hold of your spine and begins a kind of erotic pole dance and strip tease upon it, revealing more and more of itself in you, until you too become fully aroused to live. It’s your soul speaking: Soul Kind of Feeling.

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3. Meher Baba said – There are two types of ego. The false ego has innumerable wants and desires. It says, I am a man, I want this; I am a woman, I want that; I am sick; I want to be happy; I am rich; I am very poor…. It is always “I.”

But when this ego is annihilated a transformation takes place: the false “I” is replaced by the real “I,” and the experience, “I am free from desires and wanting, I am infinite, I am one with God” is gained. That is the Real Ego.

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4. Explains itself, really: Teardrops.

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5. I went to a church service last Sunday for the first time in maybe twenty years. I loved the way they were so positive and spoke about faith and Love and not having to believe in the fire and brimstone God of my early religious days.

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6. We have all seen those pictures of idyllic African children in circumstances we would not survive with our instant gratification upbringings: sage advice I say: Move On Up.

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7. One of the great free spirits who fought against the bubble of the Royal Family she was placed in when she married Prince Charles. Sad ending!!

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8: What’s your favourite song that touches you where words alone can’t: I’ve got the Music in Me.

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9. “If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation.” – Osho

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10. My essence is that of curiosity, that each moment occur as something brand spanking new: Curious.

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11. Anger is very much a shadow comfort in that you are the one it hurts.

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12. When you know everything about your life, you may have reached the last two words of this quote: Bad Habit.

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13. To me this is the most essential part of our daily diet.

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14. From little things, big things grow, start right now: From Little Things Big Things Grow.

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15. And finally, Pastor Bob Marvel, what a name sums it up so coolly, put the cream in your spirit first, the rest will handle itself after that.

So a question from Brene – Are my choices comforting and nourishing my spirit, or are they temporary reprieves from vulnerability and difficult emotions ultimately diminishing my spirit? Are my choices leading to my Wholeheartedness, or do they feel me leaving empty and searching? It’s up to us to live a life that fulfils the former.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namastebutterfly

 

Why don’t you Understand?


One of the most obscure and funny workshops I have done is a jargon workshop. Each person had to do a five minute talk using the jargon of their profession and the other participants had to guess what their profession or career was. The one profession nobody could guess was aeronautical engineer. It made me realise that jargon can be very costly when dealing with people  who do not work in your industry. Little wonder that you see a lot of blank stares from people at shops, online and in government institutions.

So what has been said about the cost of using jargon over the centuries, let’s have a look:

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1. While wading through the whimsies, the puerilities and unintelligent words of many documents to apply for most legal actions we know why lawyers are one of the highest paid professions.

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2. Chesterton is often referred to as the “prince of paradox”. Time magazine has observed of his writing style: “Whenever possible Chesterton made his points with popular sayings, proverbs, allegories—first carefully turning them inside out: Perfect Illusion.

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3. What words does your profession confuse people with?

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4. The curly haired genius , Albert points out why using jargon is not the way to go: One Little Finger.

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5. Mason Cooley (1927 – July 25, 2002) was an American aphorist known for his witty aphorisms. Perhaps he was using some of his own when he wrote this quote.

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6. I think I know what two of these words mean, not sure about the others though: So What.

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7. I am a one on one English tutor to three Chinese mothers, I would not dare do this to them.

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8.I didn’t know Helena began her cosmetic empire in my country. She migrated to Australia at the age of 30 and began her empire in Melbourne  before moving to London: Lay me Down.

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9. Don’t know about this, at least books you can usually understand the words contained in them.

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10. The Irish have a term Anam Cara, it means soul friend, I have the honour of being declared one by a dear friend: Anam Cara.

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11. the dumbing down of society, methinks.

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12. What culture are these words from, do they relate to yours: Instant Karma.

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13. Katherine Anne Porter (May 15, 1890 – September 18, 1980) was a Pulitzer Prize-winning American journalist, essayist, short story writer, novelist, and political activist.  Her 1962 novel Ship of Fools was the best-selling novel in America that year, but her short stories received much more critical acclaim. She is known for her penetrating insight; her work deals with dark themes such as betrayal, death and the origin of human evil.

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14. The recommendation these days is to write blogs, because they personalise events, even for businesses, they are fascinating stories: Amazing Grace story.

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15. The jargon of twenty years ago is now obsolete, if we used it how would we explain the Iphone?

Jargon may be costing you meeting your Anam Cara, cut it out of your arsenal of words.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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