How do you fill the gap left?


I was having trouble getting over a recent love affair so began reading about breakups. I found this really good blog in it titled: Losing the Love of Your Life: What to do when you lose the one by Natasha Adamo Here are the first four paragraphs of it, it explained it very well.

Losing the love of your life makes you realize that love can truly be a double-edged sword. It can make us feel so uniquely connected to the world and fill our hearts so they are overflowing. It can also slash our hearts to shreds, leaving painful emotion seeping out for a long time to come.

And one of the most painful places to be in is the one where you feel regret, guilt, and pain for losing someone you see as too much of a loss to recover from. The one who was there for you, loved you, and did the “thick and thin” thing because they believed in you. But now they are gone.

Losing the love of your life and actually realizing it can take some time to surface. There is pain on both sides when a breakup occurs. A time of healing. A time when moving on begins and life slowly becomes happier. The pain subsides, and you reflect on the lessons you learned and seek new love.

There are also times when this doesn’t happen. Where you find yourself thinking of someone every day.  Losing the love of your life is painful. You feel heavy with guilt, and regret lives in your gut. It is often at this point you question yourself, and think that this person you lost, has left a hole in your life that can never be filled.

I keep going between the two and feel I am leaning towards the former at the moment although there are days when the latter takes over. So how does society advise you to fill that hole when it sticks around, lets have a look, some are harsh:

1. Actually a phone call made to find out what groceries were needed.

2. We were in COVID .pandemic lock-down times so Zoom was a godsend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqMl5CRoFdk

3. Still pondering a lot of the time, getting better though.

4. Pretty close to the truth, it goes away eventually with taking other actions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm9Zf1WYQ_A&list=PL3-sRm8xAzY-v_i64uZfriFSPYHnQd8Vl&index=4

5. I don’t fully understand this quote.

6. This is the hole that can be never filled time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk4BbF7B29w

7. Makes me think of Deborah Harry’s Broken Glass.

8. I regret that I did this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sptQj1MPIwg

9. But time has come to realize you must move on.

10. On 22 December 2016, Coelho was listed by UK-based company Richtopia at number 2 in the list of 200 most influential contemporary authors: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzM71scYw0M

11. That’s OK until the heart meets someone again.

12. Strength or wisdom, which gets you through the day better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woOJRsXMQ5g

13. Do not let the shadows of your past darken the doorstep of your future, forgive and forget.

14. When things break badly, it is hard to repair them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5e8C1nhe_s

.

15. And for the final lesson, an ultimate check list.

Are breaking up and letting go the same thing, both have nothing to do with weakness, the latter more to do with strength. Here are 12 things worth knowing as you wander this path.

  1. The past can steal your present if you let it.
  2. Not everyone, and not everything is meant to stay.
  3. Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.
  4. Sometimes you just need to do your best and surrender the rest.
  5. You are control of only one person: yourself.
  6. What’s right for you may be wrong for others, and vice versa.
  7. Some people will refuse to accept you for who you are.
  8. Relationships can only exist on a steady foundation of truth.
  9. The world changes when you change.
  10. You can make decisions, or you can make excuses.
  11. It usually takes just a few negative remark’s to kill a person’s dreams.
  12. Sometimes walking away is the only way to win.

Today’s playlist contains three classic sixties bands, two pop diva’s and two relatively unknowns: We begin with Early Stones, then Billy Ellish and Adele. Back to the Sixties for the Doors and The Walker Brothers. Then my two unknowns, the first has less than 1,000 YouTube hits, a rarity: Raven and we finish with the Struts: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrv2CMFf0MRxXaKqX5rg-2xG

You/I are responsible for our own happiness, no one else. You/I are responsible for our behavior, no one else. If you are not seeing the things in life that you want, look at yourself. What are you afraid of? Self-sabotage is when you pike at the last moment, afraid of what lies ahead (even if it’s good for you).

So you can be afraid of the gap, torn apart by the gap or learn to be courageous and jump the gap and move forward. The latter will bring you closer to Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

Our COVID Love Affair.


7 months,from 22nd March until now, that is how long our beloved city of Melbourne has been in lock-down from COVID, most of it stage 3 and 4. We have had a love affair with masks and crosses on the ground. I began the first stages in a psychiatric unit at the Melbourne Clinic and have ended it breaking up with the women I wanted to spend my life with.

It has made Zoom like technology a must at most houses, for the kids to do their school work, parents to do their work as the government asked them not to go to work unless they really had to, and for my friends in the conscious dance community to listen to the DJ’s they danced to weekly in dance halls all around Melbourne.

So what has the world said about COVID, because lets not forget it is a world-wide pandemic, here we go:

1. How long is 7 months, a frigging long time.

2. Charles Robert Darwin 12 February 1809 – 19 April 1882) was an English naturalist geologist and biologist, best known for his contributions to the science of evolution sounds like he would have been a great man to have on the COVID Health team: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HMP4zrJiM4

3. 5 basics of the pandemic.

4. Don’t forget the merch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARt9HV9T0w8

5. How true was this over the past seven months.

6. The naysayers are many, especially the journos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co6WMzDOh1o&list=PLhGO2bt0EkwvRUioaJMLxrMNhU44lRWg8&index=15

7. Did they have to put a limit on how much toilet paper you could buy in your country, we did.

8. I think after seven months, I’ve got there: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4pi1LxuDHc

9. COVID Parenthood 101.

10. Hadn’t thought of this, the royal handshake and hug: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4Vmjyjst4U

11. The streets and walk-paths are really empty.

12. This would be funny if it was not true: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MH4TVYT1OYQ

13. Ice cream.

14. The cute as pie one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygdB-ZE0daY

15. Oops, sprung.

So, what are some things that can help you get through this pandemic, here are a few suggestions:

  1. Wash your hands and face, and brush your teeth.
  2. Change your socks,
  3. Call a close friend.
  4. Stretch.
  5. Go outdoors.
  6. Take a light exercise break.
  7. Dress to feel your best.
  8. Listen to your favourite music
  9. Take a few deep, controlled breaths.
  10. Clear your stuffed nose.
  11. Cook a good meal.
  12. Walk away from energy vampires.
  13. Complete an important piece of unfinished business.
  14. Work on something that’s meaningful for you.
  15. Assist someone in need.
  16. Think about your latest (or greatest) success.
  17. Act like today is already an awesome day.
  18. Notice what’s right.
  19. Take a moment to acknowledge how far you’ve come.

The playlist today begins with two older songs by David Bowie and Gloria Gaynor. Following are two bands, U2 and the Lumineers. The only pop diva is next, Enca ft. Noizy. We finish with two COVID parodies of Foreigner and Michael Jackson: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtSY-drWEG7LyrzJbFT4GV2

Today is the day we were meant to find out about an easing of the restrictions, I think I saw an extension to November the 2nd, missed by that much. So during this time we really need the ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until next time my dear friends.

Welcome to the World!!!


I live in the city of Melbourne, Australia and we have been in different stages of lock-down for over six months, the last two in the severity of lock-down stage 4. I also live alone and until two weeks ago that meant I could not have any visitors, now I have a social buddy who can visit but I cannot visit her unless she is alone in her house, which doesn’t occur that often.

This is not what I want to write about, it is the effect of the online tools such as Zoom and Google Meet on creating worldwide communities. In the past week I have attended a moon ceremony lead by two women who resided in two different states in the U.S.A.. A world wide personal transformation seminar broadcast worldwide lead by a man who lived in Los Angeles, two dance ceremonies coming out of Holland and New York, a visioning quest broadcast and English tutoring from Melbourne and a webinar from London, England.

I would not have attended quite a few of these if not for the pandemic extending the availability of these events online. So what has the world said about the greatest greatest emergency in 100 years. Lets have a look:

1. Remember, it doesn’t last for ever.

2. How did these instructions plus wear a mask become so confronting to some people: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEbq342BzZA

3. Who knew that school would become “out” for such a lengthy period of time.

4. When you only have yourself to talk to, writing quotes can help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXxtGz0JKTQ

5. A cheer squad of quotes.

6. My sister coming around to walk her dog once a week is a great help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyTpu6BmE88

7. Not an easy task.

8. And as we call them in Australia, the wearing of trackydacks ( track-pants): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My2FRPA3Gf8

9. I have a weekly chat with my siblings via SMS and phone call now.

10. The two most popular Birthday GIF s contain toilet rolls and masks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqYxyd1iSNk

11. And then I saw this one.

12. The last great virus, the Spanish Flu had four pandemics before it was over. Crossed fingers that it will not happen this time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VY1eFxgRR-k

13. The hard drive of a computer does not replace the heart of teachers like my sister.

14. 29% of consumers say they shop more online than in-person: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0kcet4aPpQ

15. Remember the seasons.

Luckily we have tools like Zoom, Google Meet, SMS and Messenger to keep in contact. But there are things we can do to keep our lifes in order, here are 12 of them.

  1. Let go of the past.
  2. Identify the lesson.
  3. Lose the negative attitude.
  4. Accept accountability for your current situation.
  5. Focus on the things you can change.
  6. Figure on what you really want.
  7. Eliminate the nonessential.
  8. Be specific.
  9. Concentrate of doing instead of not doing.
  10. Create a daily routine.
  11. Maintain self-control and work on it for real.
  12. Forget about impressing people.

Today’s playlist begins with Fifth Harmony followed by Bob’s son Ziggy Marley. Dionne Warwick and a group of friends have a jam next, then three pop diva’s: Miley Cyrus, Kate Perry and Selena Gomez. We finish with Pink Floyd: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtjzrEfSe9TzS7WRFDxzIpe

What the world needs is a new ethos to survive this pandemic. I suggest Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

What I don’t Know!!!


I have just spent three hours texting on the phone to my ex-partner, and it ended up in the usual Fuck Off. But during that I committed to writing a blog about what I didn’t know, a relative hard task because its about what I don’t know. Areas like how insecure I feel at times and how life confuses me. It seems the previous ones I wrote judging her personality based on my own defensiveness rather than any knowledge. I do not hold this to be totally true but apologise for causing her hurt in writing about her if it caused these feelings.

What do I feel insecure about? Many things: Insecure that I will fail in my new businesses, Insecure that I never feel my deepest emotions, Insecure that I will never respond to a woman in a way she feels worshiped, Insecure that I will always feel unlovable all my life and insecure that I will feel that if I let people get close to me they will reject me.

I am confused by how to meet a lovers needs, I am confused by fitting in, I am confused by feeling all the feels as my anger may get out of control, I am confused by what to do to be a good elder for my community, I am confused at the way the world is governed, it feels so wrong, I am confused by women’s intentions and I am confused by what it takes to find a woman who will love me for who I am.

So what has society said about insecurity and confusion, let’s take a walk down memory lane:

1. I’m not sure if I have as yet.

2. I have all three of these: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLmYZSu3NCc&list=PL6IfNZf-6l0gKdY4foPph_HTEm3nwrx8x&index=2

3. How many make your list?

4. They were for a while: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THeLVhU53ow&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=22

5. Boom!!!

6. I’m learning this big time, and the things about me that don’t work as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAfyFTzZDMM&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=28

7. This is why finding your perfect partner is so hard, because we all have these.

8. I haven’t as yet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXXQLa-5n5w&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=31

9. Not an easy thing to do.

10. Intuition is from innocence, Insecurity from your darkest places: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocDlOD1Hw9k&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=27&bpctr=1600577394

11. Hit the pause button and turn it onto play.

12. When this happens in your life it is a grand declaration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=26

13. Quite a broad recipe of circumstances of which insecurity is but one.

14. Not this takes something to meet on an equal plain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYa1eI1hpDE&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=30

15. I plead guilty to this.

I wish to add some words by Jeanette LeBlanc, they relate to the writing of this:

Write the truth of yourself. As you know it. Right Now. In this exact moment and only this moment. Make your words sing with the hope of you , with the want of you, with the very blood and bones and guts of you Select the lines that speak your heart. Your sex. Your sacred. Spill yourself into this paragraph as if lives depend on it. Because your lives – every last one – do.

Today’s playlist is all pop diva’s except for the opening number. Gnash starts us off followed by Jess Glynne. Three of the biggies follow Christine Aguilera, Beyonce and Pink. Cobie Caillat is the penultimate diva and we finish with Taylor Swift: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrsm9HO0oD7BenIjEVeZoRGT

When the world is willing to recognise its insecurities and confusion we will be able to recognise that Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included will have a chance. My new tribe: Thriving People – People who wish to make a difference to humanity has this as its ethos, if you would like to join here is the link: https://bit.ly/2ERbjc9. Until we meet again my dear friends.

When the Love between you has ground to a Halt!!!


I only really care if you read this.

Is love really love when it goes from Deep Love to Its over in one day? One would have to doubt that there ever was a strong foundation to use the term deep love to explain the exquisite feelings two people had for each other in the previous months. I have found in the last two weeks that watching mindless TV does not replace very well the profound conversations that are had in the throes of love.

When you are cut off from all forms of contact after receiving 27 messages in a day without the right to reply to most of them because the person knew you were in an online retreat it begs the question as to what was behind their actions, As this person stills lives in my heart I have written to her in the hope she will open contact again but as the days roll on the chance of this seems to becoming less and less. I will need to take time to have the love for her not controlling my heart.

So what have people said about breakups over time, lets walk down that path.

1. Did I do this? I didn’t think so.

2. All in one day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8AYmSdaQZI&list=PL3-sRm8xAzY-v_i64uZfriFSPYHnQd8Vl

3. This was another option!!!

4. Sometimes your head tells you strange things: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm9Zf1WYQ_A&list=PL3-sRm8xAzY-v_i64uZfriFSPYHnQd8Vl&in

5. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (16 October 1854 – 30 November 1900) was an Irish poet and playwright. After writing in different forms throughout the 1880s, the early 1890s saw him become one of the most popular playwrights in London. He is best remembered for his epigrams and plays, his novel The Picture of Dorian Gray, and the circumstances of his criminal conviction for gross indecency for consensual homosexual acts, imprisonment, and early death at age 46.

6. I hope it is not to long, I was sure that this person was what I deserved: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrGS_6_HglU&list=PL3-sRm8xAzY-v_i64uZfriFSPYHnQd8Vl&index=4

7. I think this is starting to kick in, it makes me incredibly sad doe what we had.

8. This made my heart shudder as I read it and tears come to my eyes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EE-TQyOP9g0&list=PL3-sRm8xAzY-v_i64uZfriFSPYHnQd8Vl&index=8

9. I’m not sure if this is true about her.

10. Spending time with people who value me has helped with this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2e9_jfzFr0g&list=PL3-sRm8xAzY-v_i64uZfriFSPYHnQd8Vl&index=9

11. His Holiness is wise, I haven’t quite got this yet.

12. Self Love 101: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEhy-RXkNo0

13. The cruel one doesn’t care.

14. The pain is indescribable: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuNIsY6JdUw&list=PLR8zgCuNIFtG0XSj73-VNzpCzAk1bp1n2&index=5

15. I learnt that she had three personalities, I loved the first, liked the second and hated the cruel one. Probably my mistake in not accepting all her traits.

In a breakup both people has some responsibility for it occurring as love is not that easy to give up, it is the prime emotion. I still want this love, but am realising that it is not likely to occur in the near future. I would wait for it, but all my friends and support team say to feel the pain and move on. There is a question in my mind that makes this hard, how often do you find your true love in a life time, I’m thinking only once,

The playlist today is pop diva’s singing sad songs of break up: We begin with Nea, new to me. Billy Ellish is next, then Zoe Wees, followed by Hanne Leland. Then three of the biggies, Sia, Rhianna and Taylor Swift: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrsGGr8g9EcKSL5ntMSTyhhU

I read a list that has helped me on my path to recovered, 10 simple things:

  1. Happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed.’
  2. Be a student of Life every day.
  3. Experience is the best teacher.
  4. Your choices, your actions, your life.
  5. No one is “too busy”. It’s all about priorities.
  6. Be patient and tough. Someday this pain will be useful to you.
  7. It’s usually better to be kind than right.
  8. You can become a magnet for good things by wishing everyone well.
  9. Only you are in charge of your attitude.’
  10. Satisfaction is not always the fulfillment of what you want.

These attitudes remind me of the ethos of my new tribe: Thriving People – People who wish to make a difference to humanity. It is based on my ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included, I’m looking for 1,000,000 people to take it on and transform the world, you can join here: https://bit.ly/2ERbjc9 , until we meet again my dear friends.

I’m Alone, I’m Alone, I’m Alone!!!


I can’t wait to read your fucking blog, here it is my beloved.

This is from a text I received yesterday. The same person who told me to fuck off and live my fantasy life and that’s she hates me, see my previous blog To Fuck Off, or Not. This was one of over 20 texts that started with my heart is breaking ending in the classic Fuck You posts. To me the above statement is a classic cry for help. I have worked out that my friend has three unique identities: The first being the Wise, Insightful, Compassionate, Sensual one. The second being the doubting Thomas one, this won’t work out which still contains some of the former, and the third, the cruel, sadistic Fuck You one who will say anything to hurt you, including you should kill yourself.

Am I being sadistic staying in communication with her, or Am I still in love with her. When I look into my heart, it is the latter. I don’t know how to fall out of love in a week and a bit, which she seems to have been able to achieve. So now we are both alone per say still talking to each other via text. So what does the world say about being alone, lets walk down that street:

1. I am slowly learning this, too soon, although we are in COVID stage 4 Lock-down in Melbourne, Australia.

2. You can offer this, but when they have made the decision to end it, its over, but in ours there seems to be residue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzSgxvvTWvA

3. For me that I prefer a partner.

4. I sense I will eventually do this again:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQl3WQQoQ0&list=PLgP_WFDJWjxRBAnIeUupZ-XHAspFBJZ0i

5. Thats what my sister is saying to me about my current situation.

6. The joy of the previous months with my friend have ruined this for me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSDgHBxUbVQ&list=PLgP_WFDJWjxRBAnIeUupZ-XHAspFBJZ0i&index=3

7. Not Yet, for me.

8. That is what crushes your heart: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2U0Ivkn2Ds&list=

9. Peace Out.

10. I so miss this, I am getting teary typing these words: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGorjBVag0I

11. It goes back to my early childhood, being cared for and abandoned by my mum in the first three months of my life.

12. I have been told by many friends I should be doung this, not talking to her. My heart does not want to hear it:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA&list=PLgP_WFDJWjxRBAnIeUupZ-XHAspFBJZ0i

13. Nothing, not even that person.

14. I do this so I don’t have to feel so sad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhcc1KQlCS4&list=PLgP_WFDJWjxRBAnIeUupZ-XHAspFBJZ0i&index=9

15. This is for my friend, a woman of faith.

So when life gets stressful and you feel like you’re losing your emotional balance, use one or more of these simple tricks to help you relax your mind and recenter yourself in an instant:

1.Wash your hands and face, annd brush your teeth.

2. Change your socks

3. Call a close friend.

4. Stretch.

5. Go outdoors

6. Take a light exercise break.

7. Dress to feel your best.

8.Listen to your favourite music.

9. Take a few deep,, controlled breaths.

10. Clear your stuffed nose.

11. Cook a good meal.

12. Walk away from energy vampires.

13. Complete an important piece of unfinished business.

14. Work in something that is meaningful for you.

15. Assist someone in need.

16. Think about your latest or (greatest success).

17. Act like today is already an awesome day

18. Notice what’s right.

Take a moment to acknowledge how far you’ve come.

Today’s playlist is dripping with Pop divas: We begin with Beyonce followed by Adele, Ed Sheeran and Christine Aguilera. We travel back in time for Leonard Cohen classic and end with Passenger and Andra: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrsGy-xwtyPoagX95P3KDfEs

Still haven’t worked out the links issue, My mission is not to be alone, it is to have 1,000,000 state they will live from the ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included, you can join our tribe here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/1126100227764949. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

To Fuck Off, Or Not!!!


What do you do when you have been told to fuck off and live in your fantasy world and the person hates you. You feel broken for a period of time because you remember when life was not that way. You search for what went wrong and hope it will return to the latter. Then you begin to realize that it cannot as much as you wish for it to. So you go about rebuilding your broken heart and hope that the. person who said it will leave your heart space in a reasonable amount of time.

I’m still working on that because I felt that this was the person who would live there for the rest of my life. So I admit it my heart is broken at the moment. What have people said about having their hearts broken over the years, lets have a look:

hb1

  1. She was not the wrong person to me.

2. We spent glorious days together, and then it went awry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZInWGC5L2T8&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa

3. Let’s hope so.
4. Lawrence of Arabia was a wise man:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2Rch6WvPJE&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=2

5. No I didn’t I spent two hours on a station where I could have been arrested for breaking the COVID lock-down laws.

6. Yes, that is how long I put her in my heart for: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQHsXMglC9A&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=3

7. And don’t forget the tears as well.

8. I am beginning to realize this as time kicks in: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=4

9. It was the best two months of my 66 year life.

10. No words can explain the feeling in my heart and soul: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fvj6PE3gN4o&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=6

11. My glasses used to fog over when I was wearing my COVID mask, perhaps they were warning me.

12. and the answer is a fucking lot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXzC2eiHBG8&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=6

13. There is always that missing part.

14. Thats what it feels like now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2e9_jfzFr0g&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=7

15. Her denial that I ever Loved her hurts me a lot, I will not let her take it away from me.

As we mature in relationships, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones. Remember, life is kind of like a party. You invite a lot of people , some leave early, some laugh with you, and a few stay to help clean up the mess. The ones who are your real friends in life. They are the. one who. matter the most. This is what they do for each other:

  1. They face problems together.
  2. They give what they can because they truly care.
  3. They make time for each other.
  4. They offer each other freedom
  5. They communicate effectively.
  6. They accept each other as is.
  7. They are genuine, and expect genuineness.
  8. They compromise.
  9. They support each other’s growth changes.
  10. They believe in each other.
  11. They maintain realistic expectations of their relationship.
  12. They honour each other in small ways on a regular basis.
  13. They listen, and they hear every word.
  14. They keep their promises.
  15. They stick around.

So, as I read through this list, I know and wonder where I did not fulfill all the expectations of a mature relationship. I am still deeply in love with the woman this is written about and have no idea how to get her out of my heart.

Today’s playlist contains some classic songs about broken hearts. We go back a long way to the Bee Gees, and follow up with the soulful voice of Toni Braxton.They the vocal power of Adele. We return to a rock ballad next with Passenger. Forward to the present and Billy Ellish. A newbie for me, Tate Mcrae and we finish with SIA: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa

WordPress have changed the system I use to write my blog so the links are different, I will read up on it and hopefully it will change back next week. Being in Love is part of relationships as is love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

What the Fuck is Intimacy, anyway?


I spent the day with the remarkable woman who has come into my life. In new relationships often the sexual side of it is what is most relevant, as the lust factor is high. The question I asked her before I went there last night was would she read me the bible, as she is a woman of faith. She agreed, and it didn’t happen as many other wonderful things did.

What is intimacy, anyway? Here is a shot at four different types:

  • Experiential Intimacy: When people bond during leisure activities. People may “sync up” their actions in teamwork or find themselves acting in unison.
    • Example: A father and son work together to build a model train, developing a rhythm to their teamwork.
  • Emotional Intimacy: When people feel safe sharing their feelings with each other, even uncomfortable ones.
    • Example: A woman confides in her sister about her body image issues. She trusts her sibling to offer comfort rather than using her insecurities against her.
  • Intellectual Intimacy: When people feel comfortable sharing ideas and opinions, even when they disagree.
    • Example: Two friends debate the meaning of life. They enjoy hearing each other’s opinions and don’t feel the need to “win” the argument.
  • Sexual Intimacy: When people engage in sensual or sexual activities. When people use the word “intimacy,” they are often referring to this type.
    • Example: Two lovers engage in foreplay, knowing how each other prefers to be touched.

So can you guess what we did? We did the dishes, set up a piece of furniture, discussed how we were feeling and why was, mainly me resisting being present to it, massaged each other, cleaned the stovetop and went for an hours walk. It was serene and magnificent in its intimacy.

How does the world relate to intimacy, lets walk down that road together:

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1. I met you six years ago. It was definitely worth the wait.

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2. When I reach this plateau, my body tingles all over: Soul Kind of Feeling.

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3. A writer of words, a poetic soul, an emotive expressionist, Ranata Suzuki is a poet and quote writer whose eloquent words form with painful clarity the sad yet beautiful world of the broken heart. An anonymous writer based in Sydney, Australia, Ranata is known only by her avatar of a bird carrying a book.

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4. How does the end of someone’s hair, become erotic. It’s easy in the land of intimacy: What Am I?

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5. I confess I have made those 3am texts.

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6. Especially now in lockdown in Melbourne, Australia we have to wear a mask when we leave the house: Bette Davis Eyes.

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7. When you get into this kind of intimacy sex feels redundant at times.

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8. Be weird with me, baby: Love is a Battlefield.

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9. We did this for part of our walk today.

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10. At times, I caught myself falling into hers when she looked back at me: Soul Man.

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11. And then there is the ultimate love, love of self.

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12.  I am actually feeling the I Love You’ in my heart, Yum: I Love You.

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13. And it takes work to achieve this state, AS Katie Byron says, time to do Te Work.

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14. Snap: Hurt.

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15. I took trust out of the picture, she told me to fuck off until I had got the cost of this in our relationship, lucky for me she has an awesome heart.

So I am on a journey of intimacy, perhaps for the first time truly in my 66-year-old life, it feels magnificent.

Today’s playlist begins with an Australian classic from the Dynamic Hepnotics, followed by Edie Bricknell and the New Bohemians. Two classic female rockers from last century are next, Kim Carnes and Pat Benetar. Sam and Dave then lay some funky R and B on us. We move back into the present with Billy Ellish and complete with the Man in Black, Johny Cash: What the Fuck is Intimacy, Anyway?

So the purpose of my ethos for the world: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included is to have more intimacy available in the world. Until we meet again my dear friends.

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How Can You Mend A Broken Heart!!!


You may have noticed my past 5 blogs have been about growing friendship with my friend Amy. It moved quickly and then spectacularly into becoming lovers against all the reasons the world tells you that a friendship between two people 28 years apart in age should. Being used to a single life, where you domestic actions didn’t have a lot of repercussions to being in a partnership saw me totally do some things that have unfortunately taken it from you are the greatest lover I have ever had and talk about moving in together to stop treating me like I am your mother in a period just greater than 24 hours.

Did we really love each other, yes we did, but I allowed my actions to move our relationship from our hearts to her head. I sit here writing this close to tears and I have cried about ten times in my 66 years, my parents once sent me to a phycologist to see why I couldn’t during my teenage years, it didn’t resolve anything and I am still a non-crier basically. The only thing that shifted it was the joy I felt in my love for Amy, I would be sitting on a railway station and feel tears of joy welling up, very un Rod Williams like.

My relationship consultant friend who is also a phycologist advised that we should not contact each other for 30 days as to go from the passion of a ten to the lesser feelings of friendship, say a three to a five we had to journey through our grief and sadness at to what we had lost, as moments this sacred are rare in people’s lives. I fight with the urge daily to break this especially when Amy contacted me. I wanted to write platitudes how I would do anything to get back together, but this is the act of 17-year-old first love. I must admit after 12 years it did feel a bit like this for me.

I realise I could write 1,000s of words what this woman means to me, I will journal them later, so what has the world said about relationship breakdowns and broken hearts over the years. Let’s have a look:

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1. Oh, how I wished I could have stopped this occurring.

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2. Oh, how my heart yearns for this: How Can You Mend A Broken Heart.

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3. I love His Holiness quotes, but my heart does not want to agree with this one at all.

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4. Crossed fingers, but it fucking hurts so much at the moment: Don’t Judge Me.

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5. One of the things I did not do was break glass but forgetting to thank her most of the time was just as devastating.

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6. And to me, it is you: My Immortal.

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7. I am feeling this more and more as the pain slides away.

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8. I am not ready for Amy to do that yet, I may not be responsible for my reaction in the emotional state I am in at the present: Run Through The Jungle.

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9. This hurts in the I still love her zone.

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10. I was the storm: Riders On The Storm.

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11. I didn’t really do the second thing or did I, she has gone.

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12. I lost in the first round: Street Fighting Man.

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13. Ken oath.

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14. We talked about our families a lot: We are Family.

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15 And for our final lesson, well said Trent.

I spoke to a friend halfway through writing this for half an hour because I believe she has wisdom in this area. She advised me three things: 1. Take ownership for your part of the breakdown and look for the red flags that were there for it to happen. 2. Make agreements, keep them. If you are going to break them, communicate, communicate, communicate. 3. Take time to heal before you think about going back there, and do this day by day.

I am just doing these things now.

The playlist today is funk and rock and roll, we begin with the title track by The Bee Gees, then Chris Brown. Evanescence sneaks in this century’s rock track, then we go back in time to CCR, The Doors and the Rolling Stones. We complete with a ten minute epic by Chic and Sister Sledge, enjoy, it rocks: How can you mend a Broken Heart!!!

In my heartbreak, I have started a new tribe around my ethos Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. It is called Thriving People – People who wish to make a difference to Humanity, my intention is a 1,000,000 people take up the challenge, here is the link to join, I would love you too: Thriving People.

Until we meet again my dear friends.

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You Know, It’s Never to Late!!!


Twelve years ago, after an emotionally abusive long term relationship I decided subconsciously I would never put myself through that again and chose the Life of Being single. I started doing personal development stuff and looked at different issues over the years, this one seemed to slip through to the keeper. Then I met a woman at Mojo. The first time we eye gazed for twenty minutes, the second time we screamed at each other for ten.

I didn’t know what to do, as a single man she could have asked me to fuck her on the dance floor and I probably would have said no. So I spoke to my mentor, who unpacked my single man decision. We then went through an exercise imagining her walk through the door and to see how close she could get to me. Not really close at all at first, just a few steps into the room. Many sessions later, it allowed me to be standing next to her with her in my arms. Nothing happened with this woman, because I was ages away from breaking the single man mould.

Two years later and several failed attempts by women, I have the honour to be in a relationship with a woman I had known six years. She is brave, confronting, loving and willing to go the whole nine yards to make it work. At times I am shit scared that it will not work out again and at other times there is so much ecstasy surging through my body I feel that I will implode.

So what has the human race said about love relationships, lets have a look:

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1. Everything, my beauty. Not some of it, the fear, the scared little girl, the raging anger, the hurt, all of it.

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2. What is the name of your street? Mine is Ecstacy Street: Love Street.

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3. Was I in love before that totally unexpected phone call, maybe?

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4. This is the final destination I seek: That’s What Friends Are For.

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5. I cannot put this into actual words, its a feeling.

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6. No words and I am a wordsmith: Your Smile.

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7. And see you and have you grow side by side.

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8. I love it that you love God, Beauty: Love Of My Life.

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9. Sound familiar?

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10. I hand these to you willingly, beauty: Somebody to Love.

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11. Even when my scared little boy identity fucks up and makes your heart ache, I remember your orgasmic smile.

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12. Helen Keller, blind and deaf: Insightfully speaking the truth: You’re Beautiful.

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13. What exactly is need?

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14. Truth 101: I Love You.

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15. And in the final lesson for this blog, I plead guilty as charged.

The title of this blog was meant to contain the word’s, Lost Life Opportunities as well. Why is this relevant? I reached Age Pension age, 66, one week ago. It is never ever too late. I must mention my life ethos of Love and Respect, Everyone Included. But I will finish with a question, what is going on that humanity trains our hearts to not trust they can be totally loved?

The playlist of love songs starts with The Doors, then the soulful Dionne Warwick and friends, also Rene and Angela.. next, Queen by two.  The penultimate song is by James Blunt and we complete with the one-hit wonders from the sixties, The Volumes: You Know, It’s Never to Late!!!

Until we meet again, my dear friends.