Self Awareness and Self Love Matter!!


Up to Section 5 of Dare to Lead, Brene Brown’s exciting new book: Get It Here.

The section is titled Curiosity and Grounded Confidence and begins: “Grounded confidence is the messy process of learning and unlearning, practising and failing, and surviving a few misses. This brand of confidence is not blustery arrogance or posturing or built on bullshit; it’s real, solid, and built on self-awareness and practice. Once we witness how courage can transform the way we lead, we can trade the heavy, suffocating armour that keeps us small for grounded confidence that lifts us up and supports our efforts to be brave.” It’s unreasonable to believe that we can just rip off our self-protection mechanisms and streak through the office. Most of us armour up early in our lives because, as children, we needed to.

Brene then goes on about the paradoxes that elicit vulnerability in leaders and provides this excellent list:

  1. Optimism and Paranoia
  2. Letting chaos reign ( the act of building ) and reining in chaos ( the act of scaling )
  3. Big heart and tough decision making
  4. Humility and fierce resolve
  5. Velocity and quality when building new things
  6. Left brain and Right Brain
  7. Simplicity and Choice
  8. Thinking Global, acting Local
  9. Ambition and attention to detail
  10. Thinking big but starting small
  11. Short-term and long-term
  12. Marathons and sprints, or marathons of sprints in business-building

In a conversation with Dheeraj Pandey, CEO of a Silicon Valley IT company, Dheeraj says the following, “Leaders must learn the skills to hold these tensions and get adept at balancing on the ‘tightrope’ of life. Ultimately, leadership is the ability in the ambiguity of paradoxes and opposites.”

So, what does the world say about paradoxes and opposites, here are a few of my favourite things:

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1. How well do I embrace and opposites, better some days than others, a lifetime practice, methinks?

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2. Reads like lines from a really great song: Radiate.

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3. The gravity man, Sir Isaac Newton, watch out for the apples.

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4. The Light and the Dark, both are needed to transform: I Gotta Feeling.

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5. Anything goes, it is all required in our journey of life.

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6. That’s very Woo Woo, Albert: God Save The Queen.

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7. Fact check, did our favourite POTUS really say this?

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8. What do you say to your soul, I’m practising with I love You for five minutes in the mirror every day: A Whole New World.

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9. Something Judgement 101 does not allow.

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10. The classic reason why opposites attract, they are incomplete without their opposite, how many modalities teach us we need all the types of archetypes, personalities, etc. etc. etc: New Speedway Boogie.

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11. I post Ram Dass daily in Booker Looker land, he is one of my top ten faves on the net.

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12. More light and dark stuff, you can’t deny either for your life to work: Duality.

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13. They are sent to you to learn from them, what you resist persists, an old Landmark statement from the 1990’s that still rings true to this day.

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14. Best known for his book, The Myth of Equality, Wystma, a minister of the gospel helps us come to a deeper understanding of both the origins of these issues and the reconciling role people are called to play as a follower of the gospel. Inequality and privilege are real. The Myth of Equality opens our eyes to realities we may have never realized were present in our society and world. And we will be changed for the better as a result: Glory.

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15. The paradox of being attracted by an opposite, what are yours, mine is booze versus sobriety.

Brene sums it up as follows ” Learning how to rumble with vulnerability is work. And vulnerability never becomes comfortable, but practising means that when a vulnerability is washing over us, we can hear grounded confidence whisper in our ear, ” This is hard and awkward, and uncomfortable. You may not know how it’s turning out, but you are strong and you have practised what it takes to create and hold the space for it.” 

If you haven’t work it out from these two blogs, buy the book. It’s worth it for the free workbook and the glossary alone, not to mention the values list and the posters you get thrown in.

If you loved punk, there is a song for you on today’s playlist. We begin with a newbie for me, Hannah Kerr, then the iconic Black Eyed Peas, then the legend that is Johny Rotten leading the Sex Pistols. Another Disney classic from Alladin. An Aussie legend Courtney Barnett, then rocking out with Slipknot, then a beautifully smooth finish from John Legend: Self Awareness and Self Love Matter.

Spread Love and Respect to All, Everybody Included until next, we meet my dear friends:

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Never tell people how to do Things, Tell them what to Do.


This list is from John C. Maxwell’s excellent book: The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Get It Here.

What would happen if a top expert with more than thirty years of leadership experience was willing to distil everything he had learned about leadership into a handful of life-changing principles just for you? It would change your life! John C. Maxwell has done exactly that in “21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership”. He has combined insights learned from his thirty-plus years of leadership successes and occasional mistakes with observations from the worlds of business, politics, sports, religion, and military conflict. The result is a revealing study of leadership delivered as only a communicator like Maxwell can. Here is the list:

THE 21 LAWS OF LEADERSHIP

1. The Law of the Lid. There’s a lid to your potential; it’s determined by your leadership ability. Therefore, expand your leadership capacity and expand your ability to impact the world.

2. The Law of Influence. As Maxwell says a number of times throughout the book, “The true measure of leadership is influence—nothing more, nothing less.”

3. The Law of Process. We can’t snap our fingers and become great leaders overnight. Maxwell tells us: “Leadership develops daily, not in a day.” 

4. The Law of Navigation. Steering the ship is relatively easy. Leaders chart the course—seeing where they want to go and charting the most effective course to get there.

5. The Law of Addition. Leaders serve. They focus on creating value for others. It’s not so much “What’s in it for me?” but “How can I serve?” That’s the law of addition.

6. The Law of Solid Ground. Maxwell tells us that trust is the foundation of leadership. We must stand on the solid ground of solid character—living with integrity, being trustworthy.

7. The Law of Respect. People “naturally follow leaders stronger than themselves.” We must cultivate our strength if we want people to respect us and be willing to follow our lead.

8. The Law of Intuition. As Emerson says, we must trust ourselves—“every heart vibrates to that iron string.” As a mentor of mine once said, “Trust yourself. Always.”

9. The Law of Magnetism. Who you ARE is who you will attract. Want to attract great people? BE GREAT. That’s the law of magnetism.

10. The Law of Connection. We must connect with others. Maxwell tells us, “Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand.”

11. The Law of Inner Circle. Our potential as leaders is determined by those closest to us. Whose in your inner circle?

12. The Law of Empowerment. You need to be confident enough to give power to others. Trust yourself and trust your team to crush it.

13. The Law of the Picture. People will do what they see. We need to create a “picture” of what awesome looks like which inspires people to follow our lead. Embody your ideals.

14. The Law of Buy-In. You have a great vision. Fantastic. (And essential.) But know this: People buy into YOU, the leader before they buy into the vision.

15. The Law of Victory. Victory. Leaders are FIERCELY committed to winning. Period. That relentless pursuit of victory is essential. (We’ll chat about this more as well.)

16. The Law of Big Mo. Mr Momentum. Is a very close friend of effective leaders. We need to create (and celebrate!) little wins—always remembering that progress is uber-powerful.

17. The Law of Priorities. It’s not enough to be busy. We need to be effective. Leaders take the time to properly line up their dominoes and focus on what’s most important.

18. The Law of Sacrifice. The higher you go, the more you need to be willing to give up. Leaders trade-off freedom with responsibility.

19. The Law of Timing. As Jim Collins says in Great By Choice, not all moments are created equal. Leaders know when to lean in and seize the moment.

20. The Law of Explosive Growth. Maxwell tells us about “leader’s math”—if you want to multiply your growth, create more LEADERS not followers.

21. The Law of Legacy. What do you want people to say at your funeral? Leaders keep this vision firmly in mind and dedicate their lives to its fulfilment. A quick inventory: Favourites? Strengths? Weaknesses?

“In a study of ninety leaders from a variety of fields, leadership experts Warren Bennis and Burt Nanus made a discovery about the relationship between growth and leadership: ‘It is the capacity to develop and improve their skills that distinguish leaders from their followers.’ Successful leaders are learners. And the learning process is ongoing, a result of self-discipline and perseverance. The goal each day must be to get a little better, to build on the previous day’s progress.

So how many of the Laws do you work on daily, here’s what the world says about Leadership:

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1. You can’t do it on your own, Go that way and it will work out is what the leader is there for.

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2. Master, Miss, Ms, Dr, Mrs, Mister, they are titles, being a leader is not: If You’re Out There.

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3. Actions not words, Leadership 101.

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4. Obviously, they are speaking about Donald Trumps leadership style, aren’t they: When I’m Gone.

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5. I don’t take up the Challenge every day, do you?

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6. Presence, Presence, Presence, Leadership: My Immortal.

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7. Mark Yarnell died in 2015, lauded as the Worlds greatest network Marketer, he was truly inspiring — “I’ve lived a “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah” life he said. “I’ve squeezed every ounce of joy out of every single day. It’s been an absolute blast!” And, he encouraged each of us to become the best possible version of ourselves while living a life of freedom.

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8. Even for your mistakes, that’s what real leadership is: Responsibility.

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9. Are you the former or the latter, Your Choice.

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10. Trying leadership on: Try.

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11. Word origin of ‘courage’: Middle Eastern & Old French – corage, heart, spirit  Latin cor, heart. Where we find our passion, In the heart.

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12. I recently came back in contact with Fiona, the woman who showed the leadership to get 13 disparate individuals to travel from Australia to Moscow to run a marathon in the name of ending world hunger, her leadership was inspirational at the time. It was the year before the Berlin Wall came down and communism ended in Russia: Fight Song. 

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13. Remember, it’s your actions that create the opportunities for others to become leaders too.

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14. I would change the middle quotes to Goes there own Way: Go Your Own Way.

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15. It’s OK to take walks, but it’s leadership that makes the difference after all.

As author Hans Finzel observed, ‘Leaders are paid to be dreamers. The higher you go in leadership, the more your work is about the future. At the same time, leaders are practical enough to know that vision without action achieves nothing. They make themselves responsible for helping their followers take action.” Great leaders are BOTH visionary *and* practical.

Today’s songs begin with John Legend, then we travel to the rap of Eminem. Rock takes over for the next three tracks with Evanescence, MxPx and Janis Joplin. It closes out with a very cute video of Rachell Platten and a whole lot of kids and finishes with a classic Fleetwood Mac number: Never tell people how to do Things, tell them what to Do

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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I Saw That – Karma!!


Exceptionalism = Unusual ; not typical. Reading the Philosophers Notes for Dr Bob Rotella’s great book How Champions Think I was struck by the following statement:

“One of the concepts I struggle with when I work with people both inside and outside of sport is reality. … My job with such people is to get them to understand and believe that exceptional people create their own reality. The average person won’t set a goal unless he thinks, and people close to him think, that he has at least a fifty-fifty chance of reaching it. That’s what the average person considers a realistic goal. The average person takes account of all the information that’s out there saying he can’t do something. If let’s say, he thinks about committing himself to become the best basketball player he can be and getting a college scholarship, he’ll be aware of the fact that maybe one high school player in thirty gets a college scholarship. Since that seems to make the odds a lot worse than fifty-fifty, the average person is likely to give up on that goal before he even commits to trying to reach it, settling for mediocrity in high school and giving up the game thereafter.

The exceptional person, the person who does great things, doesn’t see things that way. The exceptional person has a vision—of great performances, of a great career, of a great something— and doesn’t care about what others might say or think. He ignores information that suggests his dream is unrealistic. He just sets about making that vision a reality. He sees things before others see them. He creates his own reality. Afterwards, other people may say to him, ‘We knew you could do it. We always sensed you were going to be one of the great ones.’ But that’s probably not what he heard in the beginning. In the beginning, he probably heard, ‘You have to be crazy to think you can do that.’”

Rotella says: Average people are “realistic.” Exceptional people CREATE their reality.

So how does society relate to exceptionalism, here are some of the things they say:

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1. As part of exceptionalism, you must relate to the above koan, because you will not always win.

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2. Aren’t we always looking for a sign from God to confirm what we already know, here it is: Gods Plan.

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3. From The Monk who sold his Ferrari, luck has nothing to do with being exceptional, you need to put in the hard yards.

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4. When you ran those ten extra laps when you were a kid, I can still hear my friends calling me crazy, I later became a marathoner: Crazy, Sexy, Wild.

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5. More Ferrari moments.

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6. We create a box early on in our life so people can recognise us, how do you expand it to fit in your amazing: Lose Yourself.

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7. A new standard of imagination, they don’t teach that to you in schools.

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8. Nothing to get in your way as you approach your greatness, they are all left behind: Go The Extra Mile.

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9. Back to the 14th Century and the founder of the Jesuits for a quote that is still relevant today, the former deeds are what makes the difference.

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10. Actress, model, dancer and humanitarian, Audrey Hepburn lived and walked the talk of the second interpretation of the above letters: La Vie En Rose.

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11. Find the others who will say it about you, they are your keepers.

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12. Because its Maya, and she was exceptional: Love Liberates.

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13. Another word for Exceptionalism.

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14. Nine to Five is not it: Nine to Five.

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15. There is no right way for exceptionalism, you have to do what it takes.

Life is a precious (!!!) gift. We’re blessed with an opportunity to see just how good we can be at something we love doing. We get to have a ball for many years seeing how many beautiful things we can do with our lives. For each of us, this is unique. Get out there on the journey to what is your exceptional gift to give to humanity.

Today’s playlist wanders over the generations, something for the millennials and the grandparents. We begin with Drake and Inna for the younger at heart. Back to the beginning of rap with Eminem. Spoken word from Motivation 2016 comes next then from Grannies time Audrey Hepburn, is that French? We finish with two iconic women, Maya Angelou and Dolly Parton. Here’s the link: I saw that – Karma.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends:

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H.O.P.E. – Hold On, Pain Ends


The Steppingstone in time for my Life: 65 Stepping Stones – 2843 Life Power Boosters At Your Fingertips by my ex TMLP buddy Thea Westra: At this site. reads as follows:

Experience “real” life. Are you waiting for “life” to begin? You just need to get some of those hurdles out of the way and need a few things to happen first. The children need to leave home, retirement at work first and then enjoy the things you love, the certain amount of dollars need to be saved, the time needs to be just right, etc. etc. etc… Consider that all these roadblocks ARE your life. When will you choose to experience them fully, along with all the other passing moments?

Boom, take that, the reality of life is that life is our reality. What has society had to say about that over the centuries, let’s have a gander:

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1. Experiences, not things equal reality.

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2. Ah, those first moments of relationships – phone calls at least once a day, later on, we may move to this: The Sounds of Silence.

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3. One could ask Lady Gaga what happened to the percentages, as a child we live more like 80//20.

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4. We are trained from an early age, not to say those things that may hurt another’s feelings. Time to tell a white lie, maybe: Honest.

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5. WTF up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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6. Søren Aabye Kierkegaard was a Danish philosopher, theologian, poet, social critic and religious author who is widely considered to be the first existentialist philosopher. He wrote critical texts on organized religion, Christendom, morality, ethics, psychology, and the philosophy of religion, displaying a fondness for metaphor, irony and parables. Much of his philosophical work deals with the issues of how one lives as a “single individual”, giving priority to concrete human reality over abstract thinking and highlighting the importance of personal choice and commitment. He was against literary critics who defined idealist intellectuals and philosophers of his time and thought that Swedenborg, Hegel, Goethe, Fichte, Schelling, Schlegel and Hans Christian Andersen were all “understood” far too quickly by “scholars”: Experience.

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7. This insightful quote can certainly make you think about how you value your time.

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8. I had five worst times AKA Pysch hospital admissions, I can so relate to this. The people who hang around are precious: True Colours.

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9. We hear from Soren again, don’t focus on the problems, live life fully: Everybody.

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10. They stick around because they are the people who love you from the bottom of their hearts: That’s what Friends are For.

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11. How’s your search for your reality going?

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12. Have you bruised your knees too often, the trick is to get back up and on the horse again: Try.

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13. Go on, get out there and do it.

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14. And it is said in many ways around the world: Namkeen.

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15. And for the final one today, one I have no idea about.

And the final word from Dale Carnegie – If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities. The thing is to get the work done.

Music for this blogs starts with going back over 50 years with Simon and Garfunkel, then the Chainsmokers followed by Ludivico Einaudi. Then over to our female entries, Kasey Chambers, Dionne Warwick and Pink finishing with our international guest R. D. Burnam.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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I’m going to see the World!!


How do you see the world? Gabrielle Bernstein says you can change the way through the statement – When i lean on certainty and faith I change my mind about the World I See. What does she  mean by this statement? Is it that when you believe in what you believe in you do not have to fall for what mainstream media is trying to push down your throat what you are meant to believe about what goes on day to day.

Let’s have a look at ways to do this, there are many:

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1. Do you open up your creativity to see the many different ways that it permits you to relate to the extraordinary journey that our lives are.

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2. I recently learnt that I had very western values about the Chinese culture when I became an English tutor for three Chinese mothers. I learnt as much each lesson about China as they did about the English language each lesson. It’s a great way to find out how sheltered how you see the world is: Curious.

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3. I watched a documentary about Romania, the host was appearing on a fashion reality show as thousands of people were protesting on the streets because the government were trying to legitimise corruption.

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4. How much do we owe to the photographers that travel the world and capture the images that make us go : I’ve never thought that way about that place. Alex Sattler is one of them: Photograph.

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5. I Think Maya is giving permission to young women to listen to their hearts and not what the fashion magazines tell them is their role in life with this statement.

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6. Dali and Picasso see the world very differently to a landscape or portrait artist. Yet each is revealing his soul on the canvas: Art for Arts Sake.

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7. I was in Leningrad the year before the Berlin Wall came down and Communism ended in the Soviet Union, the people we meant said they loved Russia, but they just made a mistake 70 years ago, Now known as St. Petersburg, it is a beautiful city.

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8. My sister takes thousands of photo’s when she travels the world, I don’t think one of them is of the local airport: Leaving on a Jet Plane.

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9. You don’t need to leave your lounge room, to have these if you are , curious that is. Although I imagine that will not be the case.

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10. Shaw’s expressed views were often contentious; he promoted eugenics and alphabet reform, and opposed vaccination and organised religion. He courted unpopularity by denouncing both sides in the First World War as equally culpable, He really meant keep yourself clean and bright: Windows of the World.

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11. How would life be, if this statement was true for each of us every day.

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12. The general theme of Rumi’s thought, like that of other mystic and Sufi poets of Persian literature, is that of tawhid — union with the Beloved, from whom he sees himself as being cut off and aloof. His longing and desire to attain it is evident in the following poem from his book the Masnavi:

I died to the mineral state and became a plant,
I died to the vegetable state and reached animality,
I died to the animal state and became a man,
Then what should I fear? I have never become less from dying.
At the next charge (forward) I will die to human nature,
So that I may lift up (my) head and wings (and soar) among the angels,
And I must (also) jump from the river of (the state of) the angel,
Everything perishes except His Face,
Once again I will become sacrificed from (the state of) the angel,
I will become that which cannot come into the imagination,
Then I will become non-existent; non-existence says to me (in tones) like an organ,
Truly, to Him is our return: Rumi, The Beloved.

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13. So are our opinions of people, as this is what we see people doing.

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14. The Chinese certainly have some quirky quotes, but they always hit home: Plant more Trees.

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15. So, remember to be curious and question what you think you can see or are told about our beautiful planet, or the above statement may be true.

We have the opportunity each day to do something about the planet, is it because we do not have the faith and certainty that what we believe is worthwhile or is necessarily true. It’s time to stand up for it.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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In Life you have Three Choices!!


” Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Never excuse yourself – Henry Ward Beecher”

I don’t know if I ever saw myself as someone who came up with excuses. The way I saw it, Life treated me unkindly, and If I was living an unhappy life it wasn’t because of me. It wasn’t because I was making up excuses, but because that’s how my life was. I was just being “realistic.”

The opening lines of chapter 4 in Luminita Saviuc’s aka The Purpose Fairies beautiful book 15 Things you should give up to be Happy – An Inspiring Guide to Discovering Effortless Joy Book Link.. I chose chapter four because it is about giving up and I am in the throes of giving up on my much loved workshop project. I am enquiring into what has got me to this point at the moment so what does society say about giving up on our dreams; down the trail we go:

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1. If that dream is well entrenched in your psyche, whatever life throws at you won’t stop you, there will be no excuse that will get in the way.

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2. Stop listening to them, they are total BS: No Bullshit.

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3. MLK, Nelson Mandela and Mother Teresa had the same amount of time in their lives as we do each day, they did not give up on their dreams, why do so many people?

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4. How many people who were important in your life a few years ago have disappeared overtime. Those who stayed made the effort: Love the Way you Lie.

giveup55. At One Roof, a women’s coworking space in my home city of Melbourne, there is a quote which goes like this: An entrepreneur jumps off the cliff and builds the plane on the way down. Get the drift?

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6. Usually it takes a disaster like the one occurring  in Houston  at the moment to make these words irrelevant for most people, don’t be one of them: Never to Busy.

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7. Anti graffiti them off your mental walls.

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8. Supreme guitar player and street philosopher, Carlos Santana gets in our faces: Evil Ways.

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9. Take these up as daily practices and you will find  it harder and harder to give up.

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10. Listen, that’s your heart speaking to you. It’s not into the excuses your mind comes up with from your past: High for This.

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11. Nobody knows what you want except you, Fuck Yeah!!!

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12. When I used to train for the 4 marathons I ran in a life a long time ago after the first four kilometres I ran I had this incredible urge to stop running. I did several times but overcame it which allowed me to get to the fitness level I needed to complete the 42 kilometres that a marathon is: Stronger.

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13. Florence Nightingale is responsible for the founding of modern nursing, to overcome the male superiority belief that was prevalent in the 1800 and 1900’s Florence would have to definitely walked the talk of the above quote.

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14. No time to get lost: Find a Way.

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15. Defeat does not mean it’s all over, you can always get back up and continue towards your dream.

” All excuses are misalignment. Words like “difficult,” “risky,” “can’t,” “too weak,” ” too dumb” and “too complicated” do not apply to the divine mind. I urge you to reharmonize with energy that can do anything and everything, for that is your original nature.

  • Wayne Dyer

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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The Life you’ve always Wanted!!


I picked up Marc and Angel Chernoff’s majestic book 1000+ Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently this morning and flipped it open to a page, this is how I read ot and it gave my the Passion section. indeed it was a list of Passion questions to make you think: Here they are :

  1. What will you never give up On?
  2. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
  3. What activities make you lose track of time
  4. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
  5. What fascinates you?
  6. What is something you would hate to go without for a day?
  7. What’s something you would do every day if you could?
  8. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
  9. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
  10. What would you do differently if you know nobody would judge you?

Great questions to bring your passion alive, methinks. But now its time to take a passionate journey:

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1. What is your lightworker career. Don’t give up on finding it, the world is waiting for you.

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2. Now you’re looking in the mirror, say the things that get you in action, here’s one: Love is Action.

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3. What would a blog on Passion be without an Oprah quote, one of my top ten passion guru’s.

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4. This one is self explanatory, words are unnecessary: All of the Lights.

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5. Time to throw the dirt out of the grave you have buried your passion under.

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6. Stress or Passion, easy choice: All of Me.

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7. Another great tool in finding out your passionate why is Simon Sinek’s legendary TED talk How Great Leaders Inspire Action.

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8. Which intersection do you  live on. I live on Love and Respect for All – Everyone Included drive and sacred Love Avenue: Unwritten.

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9. Career counsellors tended to get this wrong at school, their suggestions lay between accounting and teaching.

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10. They say knowledge gives us a sense of who we are. Don’t give up your quest before you get to this point in your journey: Living Your Dreams.

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11. And the POTUS’s take on it, not sure I agree.

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12. Become an explorer and search your world for it, then run with it as fast as you can: Try Everything.

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13. Have you entered your shadowlands to find your passions, that is where they live sometimes.

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14. When I’m calling you oo oo oo oo, your passion is singing this song to you if you would just listen: Indian Love Call.

 

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15. How did it get to be 1:20pm. You can guess what I love doing.

There’s a fantastic parable in the book called the Art of being Naked, it displays passion at its most excellent, here is the link to the book, grab yourself a copy if you desire passion in your life: the link.

Namaste until next time my dear friends.

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