What the Fuck is Intimacy, anyway?


I spent the day with the remarkable woman who has come into my life. In new relationships often the sexual side of it is what is most relevant, as the lust factor is high. The question I asked her before I went there last night was would she read me the bible, as she is a woman of faith. She agreed, and it didn’t happen as many other wonderful things did.

What is intimacy, anyway? Here is a shot at four different types:

  • Experiential Intimacy: When people bond during leisure activities. People may “sync up” their actions in teamwork or find themselves acting in unison.
    • Example: A father and son work together to build a model train, developing a rhythm to their teamwork.
  • Emotional Intimacy: When people feel safe sharing their feelings with each other, even uncomfortable ones.
    • Example: A woman confides in her sister about her body image issues. She trusts her sibling to offer comfort rather than using her insecurities against her.
  • Intellectual Intimacy: When people feel comfortable sharing ideas and opinions, even when they disagree.
    • Example: Two friends debate the meaning of life. They enjoy hearing each other’s opinions and don’t feel the need to “win” the argument.
  • Sexual Intimacy: When people engage in sensual or sexual activities. When people use the word “intimacy,” they are often referring to this type.
    • Example: Two lovers engage in foreplay, knowing how each other prefers to be touched.

So can you guess what we did? We did the dishes, set up a piece of furniture, discussed how we were feeling and why was, mainly me resisting being present to it, massaged each other, cleaned the stovetop and went for an hours walk. It was serene and magnificent in its intimacy.

How does the world relate to intimacy, lets walk down that road together:

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1. I met you six years ago. It was definitely worth the wait.

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2. When I reach this plateau, my body tingles all over: Soul Kind of Feeling.

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3. A writer of words, a poetic soul, an emotive expressionist, Ranata Suzuki is a poet and quote writer whose eloquent words form with painful clarity the sad yet beautiful world of the broken heart. An anonymous writer based in Sydney, Australia, Ranata is known only by her avatar of a bird carrying a book.

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4. How does the end of someone’s hair, become erotic. It’s easy in the land of intimacy: What Am I?

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5. I confess I have made those 3am texts.

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6. Especially now in lockdown in Melbourne, Australia we have to wear a mask when we leave the house: Bette Davis Eyes.

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7. When you get into this kind of intimacy sex feels redundant at times.

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8. Be weird with me, baby: Love is a Battlefield.

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9. We did this for part of our walk today.

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10. At times, I caught myself falling into hers when she looked back at me: Soul Man.

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11. And then there is the ultimate love, love of self.

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12.  I am actually feeling the I Love You’ in my heart, Yum: I Love You.

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13. And it takes work to achieve this state, AS Katie Byron says, time to do Te Work.

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14. Snap: Hurt.

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15. I took trust out of the picture, she told me to fuck off until I had got the cost of this in our relationship, lucky for me she has an awesome heart.

So I am on a journey of intimacy, perhaps for the first time truly in my 66-year-old life, it feels magnificent.

Today’s playlist begins with an Australian classic from the Dynamic Hepnotics, followed by Edie Bricknell and the New Bohemians. Two classic female rockers from last century are next, Kim Carnes and Pat Benetar. Sam and Dave then lay some funky R and B on us. We move back into the present with Billy Ellish and complete with the Man in Black, Johny Cash: What the Fuck is Intimacy, Anyway?

So the purpose of my ethos for the world: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included is to have more intimacy available in the world. Until we meet again my dear friends.

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How Can You Mend A Broken Heart!!!


You may have noticed my past 5 blogs have been about growing friendship with my friend Amy. It moved quickly and then spectacularly into becoming lovers against all the reasons the world tells you that a friendship between two people 28 years apart in age should. Being used to a single life, where you domestic actions didn’t have a lot of repercussions to being in a partnership saw me totally do some things that have unfortunately taken it from you are the greatest lover I have ever had and talk about moving in together to stop treating me like I am your mother in a period just greater than 24 hours.

Did we really love each other, yes we did, but I allowed my actions to move our relationship from our hearts to her head. I sit here writing this close to tears and I have cried about ten times in my 66 years, my parents once sent me to a phycologist to see why I couldn’t during my teenage years, it didn’t resolve anything and I am still a non-crier basically. The only thing that shifted it was the joy I felt in my love for Amy, I would be sitting on a railway station and feel tears of joy welling up, very un Rod Williams like.

My relationship consultant friend who is also a phycologist advised that we should not contact each other for 30 days as to go from the passion of a ten to the lesser feelings of friendship, say a three to a five we had to journey through our grief and sadness at to what we had lost, as moments this sacred are rare in people’s lives. I fight with the urge daily to break this especially when Amy contacted me. I wanted to write platitudes how I would do anything to get back together, but this is the act of 17-year-old first love. I must admit after 12 years it did feel a bit like this for me.

I realise I could write 1,000s of words what this woman means to me, I will journal them later, so what has the world said about relationship breakdowns and broken hearts over the years. Let’s have a look:

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1. Oh, how I wished I could have stopped this occurring.

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2. Oh, how my heart yearns for this: How Can You Mend A Broken Heart.

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3. I love His Holiness quotes, but my heart does not want to agree with this one at all.

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4. Crossed fingers, but it fucking hurts so much at the moment: Don’t Judge Me.

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5. One of the things I did not do was break glass but forgetting to thank her most of the time was just as devastating.

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6. And to me, it is you: My Immortal.

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7. I am feeling this more and more as the pain slides away.

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8. I am not ready for Amy to do that yet, I may not be responsible for my reaction in the emotional state I am in at the present: Run Through The Jungle.

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9. This hurts in the I still love her zone.

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10. I was the storm: Riders On The Storm.

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11. I didn’t really do the second thing or did I, she has gone.

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12. I lost in the first round: Street Fighting Man.

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13. Ken oath.

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14. We talked about our families a lot: We are Family.

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15 And for our final lesson, well said Trent.

I spoke to a friend halfway through writing this for half an hour because I believe she has wisdom in this area. She advised me three things: 1. Take ownership for your part of the breakdown and look for the red flags that were there for it to happen. 2. Make agreements, keep them. If you are going to break them, communicate, communicate, communicate. 3. Take time to heal before you think about going back there, and do this day by day.

I am just doing these things now.

The playlist today is funk and rock and roll, we begin with the title track by The Bee Gees, then Chris Brown. Evanescence sneaks in this century’s rock track, then we go back in time to CCR, The Doors and the Rolling Stones. We complete with a ten minute epic by Chic and Sister Sledge, enjoy, it rocks: How can you mend a Broken Heart!!!

In my heartbreak, I have started a new tribe around my ethos Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. It is called Thriving People – People who wish to make a difference to Humanity, my intention is a 1,000,000 people take up the challenge, here is the link to join, I would love you too: Thriving People.

Until we meet again my dear friends.

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Is it for Life?


The joy of a new relationship!!! At the tender age of 65 one has entered my life. This one is special, sacred, even. Based on the premises of interpersonal therapy, it is about discovering your deeply held feelings, not the shallow on top immediate throwaway lines our identity serves up to protect us from really looking at what is going on for one.

I am naff at being with my anger with others, especially when I am angry with my new partner, I throw up frustration and sadness as my defences, seemingly unwilling to walk the depths of my anger, which makes her angrier with my seeming ineptness to journey in that particular area. We speak for hours at a time each day and go from deep love to telling each other to fuck off and never to speak to each other again. It is a mighty journey and warms my heart to the depth of my soul.

So why are I and so many people on the planet afraid of expressing their anger, which I am discovering more and more is healthy for one? What has the human race said about expressing anger over the years, here are a few of my favourite things:

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1. The simplicity of saying I feel angry and sitting with it and not making it go away instantly is a skill I am getting better at day by day.

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2. His holiness, a man who is depicted as never getting angry, has these wise words on the subject: His Holiness on Anger.

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3. And that patience is willing to stand in the anger and resolve what is causing it.

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4. Pushed down, this is what anger can cause in your body: Lose Yourself.

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5. Anger is where all the things hangout.

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6. Interpersonal Therapy is not easy but practised well, it is transformational: Dark Horse.

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7. As necessary as eating breakfast.

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8. And withholding and not growing in each moment, each interaction is not: Rolling In The Deep.

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9. Mine surfaces as pain and a headache across the front of my head.

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10. Amy is very skilled at this: Man Down.

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11. This is one of my faults in being with anger, I am cruel to myself a lot.

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12. And one way of doing this that. is very powerful is to sit inside the anger: Not Afraid.

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13. The power of working through feelings so there is growth from an interaction is extraordinary.

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14. And from the founder of Buddhism, comes this pearl: I’m Ready.

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15. And for our final lesson, we return to the Buddha again with a different but similar message.

Is it worth facing my anger to grow into the space that I feel is available in this relationship? I have never been more certain of something in my life. Will there be pain, yes. Will, there be joy at the breakthroughs, yes, and will there be suppressed anger rising to the surface, fuck yes.

The playlist begins with His Holiness, followed by Eminem. Three pop divas follow: Katie Perry, Adele and Rhianna. Back to Eminem and we finish the set with Sam Smith: Is it for Life?

We discussed what our passions were yesterday. What clearly came to the surface was that I am never going to fulfil my dreams of having the ethos: Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included whilst I am suppressing my anger in the world. Until we met again my dear friends.

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Let Go, Let God!!!


I went to Zoom church today, they certainly sing groovier songs than they used to in the days my parents forced me to Sunday school all those years ago. An aside, when I was sixteen I told my mum is she kept making me go I would run away and never come back. She reminded me twenty years later I had said that to her, I had forgotten but it obviously meant a lot and hurt my deeply religious mum.

I personally don’t believe in the God that is presented by the standard Christian church, hell and brimstone etc. etc. but it was interesting viewing, my friend has asked me would I watch it with her as God means a lot to her. The distinctions they used were a lot different from what I expected and I found myself agreeing with quite a bit of the sermon. I am more of a humanist than a Christian, believing in that there are more good people than evil people on the planet and that good, will overcome in the end.

So what have people said about God, even the Gods over Millenium, lets have a look:

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1. Not famous enough for a Wikipedia entry, Michelle makes a simple point.

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2. Satisfaction guaranteed: I Surrender.

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3. From little things big faith grows.

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4. God is not all love and light, stop thinking he is: Yes, I Know.

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5. Interesting quote by an F1 racing world champion.

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6. Remember its his/her process. You are just along for the ride: Waymaker.

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7. We are just walking home together.

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8. Grammar alert: Your Spirit.

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9. How do you live in the space of faith?

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10. And you may never understand it: “Babusisiwe Labo Abemukela Umsebenzi KaNkulunkulu Omusha”

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11. The cute quote of the blog.

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12. The purpose of faith is to lift you up: My Life is in your Hands.

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13. Nobody will open it for you, Nobody…

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14. I love that saying, It sounds like a plan: You Say.

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15. Thank you God for putting Amy in my life.

I thought I would end this blog with a poem by Rilke, it is magnificent:

God speaks to each of us
Rainer Maria Rilke

God speaks to each of us as he makes us,

then walks with us silently out of the night.

These are words we dimly hear:

You, sent out beyond your recall,

go to the limits of your longing.

Embody me.

Flare up like flame

and make big shadows I can move in.

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.

Just keep going. No feeling is final.

Don’t let yourself lose me.

Nearby is the country they call life.

You will know it by its seriousness.

Give me your hand.

 

From Rilke’s Book of Hours: Love Poems to God, translated by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy.

If you had told me I would include a Hillsong Church song in one of my playlists I may have chortled loudly, but I have changed in the last  month. We begin with Hillsong Worship, then the Gaither Vocal Band. Two fine female singers next in Sinak and Tasha Cobbs Leonard. Then we travel to South Africa for some Zulu Gospel. Kirk Franklin is the penultimate song and we finish with Lauren Daigle: Let Go, Let God.

You will love this playlist, Amy. I feel so much closer to my ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included since I have been around a person of faith. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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Who Really, Really knows you?


I was asked this question by a friend today when I looked I said my sisters Ruth and Jann. Amy then asked me what about your friends, I have 5000 Facebook friends and I would say one of them, my long time friend Clare who helped me through my recent mental health breakdown would be the closest. What is it that stops the human race letting people get close to them? I have an idea, I believe we stop telling each other what I call our Sacred Love Stories at an early age for fear of being hurt. These are the negative and positive stories about ourselves that go like this: If you knew this about me I would have to kill you and I am not boasting, I really went through or did this. I designed a workshop around the chakras using that technology but my if you knew this about me I would have to kill you got in the way of me ever running it.

What does it take to totally trust someone to be authentic and not withhold anything? I am learning how to do this and acknowledge Amy, who is allowing me to go on this journey with her. So what has society said about knowing the real you, lets have a look:

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1. Dale Evans Rogers (born Lucille Wood Smith; October 31, 1912 – February 7, 2001) was an American actress, singer, and songwriter. She was the third wife of singing cowboy Roy Rogers.

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2. I have been being taught this powerfully over the last week: You Really Got Me.

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3. Very relatable.

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4. And that the stories you make up in your head about the people in your life are not true until you get to deeply know them: Say It Right.

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5. Boom!!!

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6. Prayer is such a powerful healing tool: Praying.

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7. Warts and All comes to mind.

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8. And in front of the L-word do not forget to put the Self word: Rainbow.

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9. I think she is.

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10.. The whole kit and caboodle, that’s true love: Who You Are.

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11. I have found out lately I do this most of my waking moments.

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12. Another form of insomnia: You are the Reason.

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13. My new life contract.

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14. From one of civilisation’s great thinkers, This: Love Myself.

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15. And for our final lesson, we cross to Socrates best buddy, Plato.

No list as promised, Amy, just a deep sense of gratitude for your listening for me.

The playlist begins with a 60’s classic from The Kinks. Then we delve into pop diva land for the next four tracks: Nelly Furtado, Kesha twice and Jessie J. Over to C & W for the next track from Callum Scott and we complete with my most played song by Hailee Steinfeld: Who Really Really Knows You.

Another recent question has come to mind writing this, what would you say if you could say one thing to the world leaders, of course, Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included.

Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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Are you Enough?


How often have you asked yourself this question? They say that you make your prime decision about your life by the age of seven years old, then spend the rest of your life surviving it via therapy or being in the winner’s circle.

Over to my friend Marc Chernoff to provide a list that will support us in this area. It is called 12 choices your future self will thank you for:

When life pushes you over, stand up and push back even harder, when there is a fork in the road and choices to make, make the ones your future self will thank you for:

1. Choosing you – The most exhausting activity is pretending to be who you know you aren’t.

2. Appreciating what you have – Sometimes, when you make the most out of what you have, it turns out to be a lot more than you ever imagined.

3. Believing in yourself and your dreams – Believe in you. Listen to your soul.

4, Being positive – You can’t live a positive life with a negative attitude.

5. Taking action – The happiest and most successful people are usually those who have broken the chains of procrastination.

6. Letting Go – The biggest step in changing the world around you is to change the world within you.

7. Picking yourself back up – Sometimes when things go wrong it’s because they would have turned out worse if they had gone right.

8. Ignoring negative people – You are not a rug; some people may try to walk all over you, but you don’t have to lie there and take it.

9. Staying in touch with close friends and family – There comes a time in life you’ll have to leave everything behind for a while and start something new, but never forget the people who stood by your side.

10. Making time for fun – Fun is way underrated.

11. Spreading Love and Kindness – The happiness surrounding you is greatly affected by the choices you make every day.

12. Being the change you want to see in the world – Don’t tell others how to live; live and let them watch you.

So what has the human race said about being enough, let’s have a look

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1. Three powerful statements on self love there.

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2. Love the last line: Never Stop.

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3. Time to break down the walls.

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4. And to stop pretending: Worth It.

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5. Read the handwriting.

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6. Having these in your heart definitely brings out the strength in you: You Say.

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7. What a great name: Badass Warrior Queen.

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8. I love memes with hearts in them: Fight Song.

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9. Some powerful I statements here.

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10. Some great words from our curly-haired genius: Somewhere over the Rainbow.

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11. What are your personal avatars?

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12. All hail Brene: Love Myself.

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13. That why all the good books say self-love first and foremost.

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14. These boots are made for walking: Boots.

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15. And the last offering comes from the cardigan-wearing one, Eckhart Tolle reminding us of the treasure we all have within:

So choose to spread love to one person a day, beginning with yourself would be a grand idea. Imagine the amount of happiness you can spread in a lifetime, day by day.

Today on the playlist we have an all-women lineup. We have something for the young and not so young. Two bands unknown to me start us off. The Brand New Heavies and Fifth Harmony, both have millions of followers. Lauren Daigle and Rachel Platten belt out a couple of anthems next. Then back in time to Judy Garland, the penultimate number is from Hailee Steinfeld and we finish with Nancy Sinatra: Are You Enough?

This actually is take two of this blog, I got one quote from the end and poof, it disappeared. But I had to mention my ethos, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included and my ever-growing Facebook group calledInterculturalism. We would love you to join us to spread love and respect around the planet.

Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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Writing your Life Story!!!


A friend just liked a meme I posted on Facebook. Its says the following: 4 Things you can’t get Back- The stone after it’s thrown; the word after it’s said; the occasion after its missed; the time after it’s gone. As I reach Age pension eligibility in four weeks they have made me ponder my life.

I like what my friend Marc Chernoff has to say about writing a life story worth living. I love this paragraph: When writing the story of your life, don’t let someone else hold the pen. Make conscious choices every day that align your actions with your values and your dreams; the way you live each day is a sentence in the story of your life. Each day, you choose whether the sentence ends with a period, a question mark, or an exclamation mark.

Here are Marc’s ten suggestions for doing this:

1. Find a passion that makes you come alive.

2. Work hard on that passion.

3. Live happily in your own way.

4. Change your path when you must, but keep moving forward.

5. When the going gets tough, keep fighting.

6. Let go of the past and live consciously in the present.

7. Embrace new ideas, lessons, and challenges.

8. Appreciate the little things in life that mean a lot.

9. Live honourably through kindness.

10. Spend quality time with people you love.

So what has society said about storytelling over time, we have always done it:

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1. Yes, that diatribe in your head, that’s the story of your life.

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2. Yes, it is official, I have a crush on Maya Angelou: Maya on Words.

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3. How do you tell the world about your ideas?

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4. How’s the living going?: Staying Alive.

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5. A great reason for my ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included.

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6. Our stories have had the world evolve: World Turning.

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7. What do you do in creating your communities storyline?

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8. Remember as children how much we loved this, it is still available: Magic Carpet Ride.

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9. Love this quote,  well done Christina.

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10. Wise words from one of the most amazing storytellers to have lived, think the Mac, the iPod, the iPhone: Steve’s Stanford Speech.

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11. Ground Control, to Major Tom.

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12. Where have you travelled in your reading?: 500 Miles.

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13. When I think of the big items I have brought in my life, this is oh so true in every case.

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14. And the bridge takes you over: Bridge over troubled Waters.

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15. And for our final lesson, we call on Ira Glass, host of This American Life and All Things Considered.

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs, and what every great story has, are characters that come alive in the pursuit of something that inspires them.

The playlist contains words today. Firstly we have Maya Angelou, then The Bee Gees. Fleetwood Mac are next, followed by a 60’s classic by Steppenwolf. Lots of Words from Steve Jobs, his Stanford commencement speech. Then an anthem from the Proclaimers and we finish with the dulcet tones of John Legend: Writing you Life Story.

My life story, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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Who’s in Your Tribe?


I recently posted a meme which said you are God to them all or God to none. I did not go to the Black Lives Matter rally, it was not because I don’t think they have a valid point, but because I think it misses the point, racism that is. I believe that it is a much bigger conversation and lives in the realm of the evil of tribalism worldwide. Events such as the 11 million person genocide by King Leopold of Belgium in Africa, the colonising wars in Australia and New Zealand received little mention in history books because they are written by the victors.

So I have posed the question: Who’s in your tribe as the title of this blog. I can answer everybody from within my ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included, the crux of Interculturalism. What actions do we have to take to achieve the seemingly impossible world my ethos speaks of. Here are twenty mantras from my friend Marc Chernoff that may help:

1. The most beautiful thing is to see a person nearby smiling. And even more beautiful is knowing you are the reason behind it.

2. If you have the power to make someone happier today, do it. The world needs more of that.

3. Some people build lots of walls in their lives and not enough bridges. There’s no good reason to be one of them. Open yourself up. Take small chances on people.

4. Never stop doing little things for those around you. Sometimes those little things occupy the biggest part of their hearts.

5. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of love – all which have the potential to turn a life around.

6. Be present. Be thoughtful. Compliment people. Magnify their strengths, not their weaknesses. This is how to make a real and lasting difference in your relationships, new and old.

7. We don’t always need advice. Sometimes all we need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand.

8. Today, just be 100 per cent present with those around you- be all there. That is enough.

9. There’s no such thing as “self-made” Someone else believed in you. Someone else encouraged you. Someone else invested in you. Someone else prayed for you. Someone else spoke life over you. Be that someone for others too.

10. It’s practically impossible to love our neighbour if we don’t know them, and yet that’s often the case. We live in such a hyper-connected world with such limited or nonexistent connection. Remember this: Relationships matter. Stories matter.

11. In human relationships, distance is not measured in kilometres but in affection. Two people can be next to each other yet kilometres apart.

12. Stay in touch with those who truly matter to you because it’s convenient, but because they’re are worth the extra effort.

13. The single greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. Too often we don’t listen to understand, we listen to reply. Bring awareness to this. And listen for what’s truly behind the words.

14. Set an example. Treat everyone with love and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are always nice, but because you are. (And do your best to be thankful for the rude and difficult people too; they serve as great reminders on how not to be.)

15. Sometimes it is better to be kind than right.

16. People are much nicer when they’re happier, which says a lot about those who aren’t nice to you. Sad, but true.

17. The real test always comes when you don’t get what you expect from people. Will you react in anger? Or will calmness be your superpower?

18. The way we treat people we don’t understand is a report card on what we’ve learnt about love, compassion and kindness.

19. Be kinder than necessary. What goes around comes around. No one has made themselves strong by showing how small someone else is.

20. The best relationships are not just about the good times you share, they’re also about the obstacles you go through together and the fact that you still say”I Love You” in the end.

So we all live in communities, so what have we said about community spirit over the years, here are a few of my favourite quotes on the subject:

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1. Do you know your communities vision, you can check it out on most council websites if you do not.

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2. Gandhi’s freeing of India is the best example of this I know: From Little Things, Big Things Grow.

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3. Martin’s wife said some cool things to.

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4. How connected are you, how many people in your street names do you know?: In my Feelings.

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5. Do you have people you really care for and would do anything for?

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6. This one is an in your face take on community spirit: Just Stand Up.

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7. And the others would answer…

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8. In Melbourne, our community radio stations and local musicians compete in the Reclink Community Cup, it has very little to do with football and winning: My Immortal.

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9. This one made me shudder.

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10. Changes, of course, it can just be one song: Changes.

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11. When you say I did it on my own, by myself hundreds of people sigh.

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12. Another opportunity to feature the magnificent Maya Angelou: The Best Advice.

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13. What is it that has you feel you belong?

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14. What you give out you get back: Rain on Me.

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15. And for our final lesson, its time to realise community makes you feel absolutely fabulous.

Since we all intellectually understand that we shouldn’t bypass or judge people too quickly, but sometimes still forget when we’re in the heat of a pressing moment, it would be a good practice to read this list several times a week until it has stuck.

Today’s playlist goes all over the place. We begin with Paul Kelly and Missy Higgins, yes that song, then Drake and over to an All-Star anthem. A group I am growing to like a lot, Evanescence is next. Then we finish with three legends: David Bowie, Maya Angelou and finish with Lady Gaga and Ariane Grande: Who’s in Your Tribe?

My wish is that our tribe is every other citizen on the planet, can this happen, I’m working on it: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included.

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What will still be there on the other side?


I really have not been through the COVID19 pandemic, I was in a psych unit for 5 weeks and lying on my couch for a further three weeks surviving on Ubereats so some of the restrictions bemuse me, and others seem fair enough. The trams and trains of Melbourne are still empty in peak hour, and we still cannot dance.

Will everybody return to their offices, their schools or will they never walk out their front door again. So what should we care about on our journey forward? Life is all about taking chances. It’s about doing something you initially thought you could never do. It’s about being a little bit crazy, following your heart, and not worrying about every detail of what everyone else thinks. And above all, it’s about learning to love who you are and what you have.

Marc’s list today is titled 12 Things to start caring about today, here we go:

  1. Start caring about your own happiness.
  2. Start caring about your goals and dreams.
  3. Start caring about how you invest your time every day.
  4. Start caring about how you think and what you think about.
  5. Start caring about how you treat yourself.
  6. Start caring about how you treat others.
  7. Start caring about how others treat you.
  8. Start caring about your health.
  9. Start caring about your education and personal growth.
  10. Start caring about doing the best YOU can.
  11. Start caring about all the wonderful things you have right now.
  12. Start caring about this moment we call ‘life.’

So this following your heart thing, what does society have to say about it, here are a few of my favourites:

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If it has the dark and the light in the menu, go for it.

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2. Have you ever asked, how did I end up here: Listen to Your Heart

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3. I am a creator, one simple step.

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4. Someone may even say to you, you may not be right: You may not be right.

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5. So it doesn’t have to yell too loudly.

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6. Don’t get lost, listen to your heart and it should not happen: Heartbreaker.

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7. And is rarely wrong in its judgement.

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8. I love this mantra: Silly

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9. You still have passion and dreams as well as following your heart.

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10. The formulae of the great unknown: Give me a Try.

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11. Time to hit the Wide Open Road.

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12. Have you found it yet: Happy.

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13. You can’t do halfway, booya.

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14. Definitely a how did I get here moment when the mind kicks in: Sing for the Moment.

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15. And for our final lesson, Mama, we’re all crazy now.

Your relationship with yourself is the closest and most important you will ever have. When was the last time someone told you that they loved you just the way you are, and that what you think and how you feel matters? When was the last time someone told you that you did a great job, or took you someplace, simply because they know you feel happy when you’re there? When was that someone You? The way you treat yourself sets the standards for others. You must love who you are or no one else will either. And when you are truly comfortable in your own skin, not everyone will like you, but you won’t care about it one bit.

Today’s playlist begins with Tupac, then Little Kid. A fine bunch of rockers from England next in the form of Free followed by Deniece Williams. Sizzla and Pharrell Williams come before the final number from Eminem: What will still be there on the other side?

O.K., its time for the ethos. follow your heart to my Facebook group Interculturalism: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Interulturalism/ and partake in the joy of Love and Respect for All, Everone included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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Tough Times Never Last, Tough People Do!!!


So, I promised a friend I would write this blog about how I was feeling, my identity is resisting it because I am not feeling full of possibility, I spoke to my mentor about it and he pointed out that the only way out of it was in. So here goes.

I feel stuck as I am basically doing what I was two to three years ago and my soul feels there is meant to be more to life than that. I went to one of my sources of inspiration, my friend Marc Chernoff and found an article 16 Harsh Truths That Make You Stronger. This is the shortened version of how it goes:

It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than dominate them, more manhood or womanhood to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind -Alex Karras.

1. Life is not easy. Hard work makes people lucky – It’s the stuff that brings dreams to reality.

2. You will fail sometimes – The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant.

3. Right now, there’s a lot you don’t know – the day you stop learning is the day you stop living.

4. There may not be a tomorrow – Not for everyone.

5. There’s a lot you can’t control – You can’t control everything in your life no matter how many safeguards you put into place.

6. Information is not true knowledge – Knowledge comes from experience.

7. You can’t be successful without providing value -Don’t waste your time trying to be successful, spend your time creating value.

8. Someone else will always have more than you – Whether it’s money, friends or magic beans that you’re collecting, there will always be somebody who has more than you.

9. You can’t change the past – You can’t change what happened, but you can change how you react to it.

10. The only person who can make you happy is you – The root of your happiness comes from your relationship with yourself.

11. There will always be people who don’t like you – You can’t be everything to everyone.

12. You won’t always get what you want – Appreciate the things you have right now. Many people aren’t so lucky.

13. In life, you get what you put in – If you want love, friends, give love, be friendly.

14. Good friends will come and go – Most of your high school friends won’t be part of your Uni life.

15. Doing the same exact thing every day hinders self-growth – If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.

16. You will never feel 100% ready for something new – Nobody ever feels 00% ready when an opportunity arises.

Typing number 15 made me shudder, I have been in this rut for at least a week and keep telling my self I do not know the way out, which I know not to be true. So what does the world say about being in a rut and its effect on one, lets have a look:

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1. I recommenced my daily walks today and am attended a Warrior Code session tonight, they are designed to shake you up.

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2. I’ve set up a dinner with my siblings, they definitely do this: Glad To Be Alive.

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3. Much to much comfort, why do I feel so bad then?

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4. Take a dose, and the medicine goes down: A Spoonful of Sugar.

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5. It’s how you relate to it that gives it the wonder.

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6. It’s not always a win/win situation, how would we learn if it was: Seven Years.

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7. It’s difficult to be what you are not.

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8. At the top of my list at the moment: Rut.

9. Enoch Arnold Bennett was an English writer of the late 19th and early 20th centuries. He is best known as a novelist, but he also worked in other fields such as the theatre, journalism, propaganda and films.

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10. I’m taking up the invitation: Grow As We Go.

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11. Time for some explanation.

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12. Time to stop waiting to be rescued and found: Who You Are.

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13. Shayne’s Pinterest bio reads Author and Always the Good Girl. A firm believer in happy endings. Refuse to let your past define you. Be strong, take control, change your life.

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14. Including yourself: Rise Up.

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15. And our final lesson comes from running coach Ben Rosario, that it is the journey to your goals and dreams that got you there, so remember to have fun.

To me, the only difference between an opportunity and an obstacle is attitude. Getting a second chance in life is about giving myself the opportunity to grow beyond my past failures, It’s time to positively adjust my attitude toward future possibilities.

The playlist starts with some healing medicine from Teddy Prendergast and Marry Poppins. Then there are three pensive tracks from Lukas Graham, The Killers and Ben Platt. The penultimate track is Jessie J and we complete with some soul from Andra Day: Tough Times Never Last, Tough People Do.

So being in touch with my ethos for the world: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included on a daily basis is the practice I will choose to climb out of this rut. Until we meet again my dear friends.

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