F.L.Y. – First Love Yourself!!


I have begun writing my blogs about how I feel about things in my life, I don’t want to write about having a cold or a dodgy knee so that leaves self-love. I went and saw my mentor Arion for my weekly session and as always he asked me what did I want to discuss. I said I would like to discuss why I am finding it hard to feel my ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included throughout my body.

He replied, but that is who you are for your friends and family. We went through a list of people and places I am a part of, he asked me if I asked them was I an example of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included what would they say about me, I had to admit that they would probably say I was. So the next question was if 99 people were saying this about me that why was I not getting the message, this is when the old warhorse lack of self-love raised itself through my body.

It’s interesting the decisions we make as young children, I don’t remember coming to don’t allow yourself to be loved, because you will have to leave from moving a lot but at times it controls me. Loaded up with some breathwork exercises, I headed to the local library to sit in the rooftop garden and contemplate the session. It made me think what have the mystics and soothsayers said about self-love over the decades, here are some of them:

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1. Lending his popular voice to various topics, Steve’s books, quotes, videos, and memes have become a social media sensation; being shared by millions across the globe in more than 25 languages.

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2. I’m a step from this, I feel: Conceited.

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3. I forgot the last line on my tattoo.

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4. As is each of us: Irreplaceable.

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5. Dodinsky’s home page has been hacked by a casino site, Love this quote.

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6. Makes me think of that civil war statement, Rebel Yell: Rebel Yell.

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7. Has to be some Brene in the mix.

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8. Somewhere, Everywhere: Somewhere Over The Rainbow.

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9. Marvel comics know this relates to both women and men.

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10. Some of the really tough work, mirror work: I’m Still Standing.

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11. Not surprisingly I became Community Manager of a company called Collective Potential.

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12. This is because you actually have boundaries when you love yourself: Emotional Boundaries are Important.

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13. Perfection, the ultimate booby prize.

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14. Supposedly they are already there: Loving You.

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15. The final lesson, don’t devalue yourself.

Writing this has made me feel a lot better, time to look at the evidence, not listen to identity.

There are two great yells in the playlist today, and we may double the views of the young woman who has been viewed a mere 35 times. We begin with rap diva Remy Ma, then four icons from totally different era follow. Beyonce, Billy Idol, Ariana Grande and Elton John make them up. Then the little known Nadia Nelson and we finish with a classic from the 1970s by Minnie Riperton: F.L.Y. – First Love Yourself

I’m learning to include myself in Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until we meet again my dear friends.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

 

 

Can Your Inner Child Come Out And Play?


I came in contact with my five-year-old inner child in a session with my mentor on Wednesday, I was researching how to define the influence your inner child can have on you when I came across a beautiful article from LonerWolf, they define it as:

No matter how big or small, almost all of us experienced some kind of trauma as children. These traumas could vary from having your favourite stuffed toy thrown in the trash, to being abandoned by your best childhood friend, to being physically or emotionally abused by your parents.

Inner child work is a vital component of inner work because it reconnects us with a wounded element of ourselves: the child within. When we reconnect with this fragmented part of ourselves, we can begin to discover the root of many of our fears, phobias, insecurities and sabotaging life patterns. This is where true healing happens!

Inner child work is the process of contacting, understanding, embracing and healing your inner child. Your inner child represents your first original self that entered into this world; it contains your capacity to experience wonder, joy, innocence, sensitivity and playfulness.

Why this came up  is I explained that after talking to a woman who I wish to speak to more than anyone in the known world at the moment for twenty minutes the dread and anxiety of What if she finds out what I’m really like took over and it became all too difficult, and it ceased rather quickly.

We had a conversation around who did I become, and it was the little 5-year-old who felt unworthy of being loved due to some decisions about the parenting he thought he had been offered by his maternal parents. Sixty years later, they are probably not true, so we did a process so that my internal parents took over my body.

So how has society discussed the inner child, When we deny and snuff out the voice of the child within we accumulate heavy psychological baggage. This unexplored and unresolved baggage causes us to experience problems such as mental illnesses, physical ailments and relationship dysfunction. Here are some ways:

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1. From my fellow Aussie, Trudy: this is one powerful way my mentor suggested I help heal my five-year-old.

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2. I also love the quote on her home page as being a powerful way to improve: “Time spent amongst trees is never wasted time.” – Katrina Mayer: You Are Loved.

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3. A combination of ‘Its time to grow up education from your parents and the rigidity of the school system, methinks’.

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4. This ode is for the inner feminine child we all have in us, I’m sure there is one for the inner masculine as well: Into My Arms.

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5. Especially between our adult self and our inner child.

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6. That naff saying just let it go has never really worked for me: Changes.

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7. Hard to read, but a profoundly beautiful ethos,

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8. The 20-minute exercise in rewriting the parents of my inner child has had a profound effect on me, Who would believe so much change could occur in such a short time: Absolute Beginners.

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9. The wire cage installation from Burning Man has become a worldwide interpretation of what our inner children seek, and that is a connection with others.

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10. I just liked this image: MotherLove.

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11. A powerful statement from Jung and an image that really displays how much our inner child influences us.

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12. Wise words from one of my top ten philosophers, Thich Nhat Hahn: Peace Be With You.

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13. Diane also states: We’re spiritual beings having a human experience and everything we need is inside. When you connect with that inner guidance, you can hear the whispers of your intuition — your Wise Self — guiding you to your best life. Often it is your inner child.

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14. Carl Jung did quite a bit of work on our inner child, I think so should we: Over The Rainbow.

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15. And for our final lesson, a message from your own inner child, I’m going to skip with mine this week.

Here are 4 of the most powerful ways to perform inner child work:

  1. Speak to your Inner Child.
  2. Look at Pictures of Yourself as a Child.
  3. Recreate What You Loved to do as a Child.
  4. Make an Inner Journey.

For a moment I thought I was doing an all-male playlist again, but the last two songs prevented this. We begin with a newbie for me, Matthew Mole, then the most brilliant of songs by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. Two Bowie numbers follow, and Queen ends our male contribution. The penultimate number is by Shaina Noll, and we finish with a superb version of a classic song by Eva Cassidy: Can Your Inner Child Come Out and Play?

Through inner child work, you can learn to grieve, heal and resolve any sources of trauma you’ve been unconsciously holding on to for years. This can liberate you and allow you to live a life of real adulthood, emotional balance and wellbeing. Doing this has definitely got me closer to Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included because it includes me. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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Gandalf and Yoda Go Out On a Coffee Date!!!


I went to a men’s workshop on the weekend called Isle of Men with 160 of my brothers who are interested in becoming better men for themselves, their partners, their children their lovers, their parents, their siblings, in fact, everybody in their lives. There are strict confidentiality clauses that mean we cannot mention who is there without their direct permission, so today I am writing about what we looked deeply into, the four male archetypes of Warrior, Lover, Magician and King but specifically The Magician as what I discovered about myself rocked my soul.

Carl Jung understood archetypes as universal, archaic patterns and images that derive from the collective unconscious and are the psychic counterpart of instinct. They have inherited potentials which are actualised when they enter consciousness as images or manifest in behaviour on interaction with the outside world. They are autonomous and hidden forms which are transformed once they enter consciousness and are given particular expression by individuals and their cultures. In Jungian psychology, archetypes are highly developed elements of the collective unconscious. The existence of archetypes can only be inferred indirectly from stories, art, myths, religions, or dreams.

Before we move on, let’s be clear about something. Archetypes aren’t personality types. Jung didn’t think you could classify a person as a specific archetype. A man can’t take a test to tell him that he’s a “Shadow.” Instead, the archetypes are simply patterns of behaviour and thought, or “energies” that can be found in all people in varying degrees.

I am in a program called Warriors of Love so had some understanding of the psyche of the warrior archetype and have been on a journey recently with my lover archetype over the last year so was grateful for the insights I received, but when we got to the magician archetype the skill of the facilitator to use stories, art and myths was so much next level it shook me out of my hubris as to what is possible in one’s creative life.

The Magician archetype is summed up by Robert L. Moore,

Moore is probably most widely known as the senior author, with Douglas Gillette, of a series of five books on the in-depth structure of the male psyche, drawing on the account of the archetypal level of the human psyche developed by C. G. Jung.

  1. King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine is an introductory overview of four key sources of energy at the archetypal level of the human psyche.
  2. The King Within: Accessing the King in the Male Psyche centres on the most important and most difficult source of energy for men to access.
  3. The Warrior Within: Accessing the Knight in the Male Psyche centres on the source of energy that boys and men usually learn how to access relatively early in life, but it takes time and effort to learn how to access the optimally mature form of this source of energy in the human psyche.
  4. The Magician Within: Accessing the Shaman in the Male Psyche centers on another form of energy that boys and men usually learn how to access at a relatively early age, but, once again, it takes time and effort to learn how to access the optimally mature form of this source of energy in the human psyche.
  5. The Lover Within: Accessing the Lover in the Male Psyche centres on a very tricky source of energy in the human psyche.

as “All knowledge that takes special training to acquire is the province of the Magician energy. Whether you are an apprentice training to become a master electrician and unravelling the mysteries of high voltage; or a medical student, grinding away night and day, studying the secrets of the human body and using available technologies to help your patients; or a would-be stockbroker or a student of high finance; or a trainee in one of the psychoanalytic schools, you are in exactly the same position as the apprentice shaman or witch doctor in tribal societies. You are spending large amounts of time, energy, and money in order to be initiated into rarefied realms of secret power. You are undergoing an ordeal testing your capacities to become a master of this power. And, as is true in all initiations, there is no guarantee of success.”

It is in the last words of his description “there is no guarantee of success” that shook my soul so greatly. He weaved his magic on the crowd, reading and changing the content of his presentation as to what he felt would empower the gathered men moment to moment. I had forgotten I used to have this ability too.

So what has been spoken about the magician archetype over the centuries? Here are some of the most powerful things I could find:

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1. What is in the Magician toolbox you are given at the beginning of your training, an ample sprinkling of pixie dust.

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2. Envy and Competition, the two great destroyers of a child’s inner creativity: Jealous Guy.

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3. Definition of righteousness

1: acting in accord with divine or moral law: free from guilt or sin
2a: morally right or justifiable righteous decision
b: arising from an outraged sense of justice or morality righteous indignation
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4. Danielle says to live your life from your Core Desired Feelings, and master them as you do in your magician archetype: Don’t Believe a Word.
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5. During the Magician process, the facilitator created moments of the purest joy for the participants.
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6. Ben Okri OBE FRSL is a Nigerian poet and novelist. Okri is considered one of the foremost African authors in the post-modern and post-colonial traditions and has been compared favourably to authors such as Salman Rushdie and Gabriel García Márquez: Look Away.
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7. After Sunday, I do have to agree with this statement.
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8. I don’t think any of the men arrived there thinking we would take part in a classic mosh pit, we did: Mosh Pit.
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9. A trick in all magicians toolkits, the ability to walk through doors.
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10. Escher was possibly the greatest at this. Maurits Cornelis Escher was a Dutch graphic artist who made mathematically-inspired woodcuts, lithographs, and mezzotints. Despite wide popular interest, Escher was for long somewhat neglected in the art world, even in his native Netherlands. He was 70 before a retrospective exhibition was held. In the twenty-first century, he became more widely appreciated, with exhibitions across the world: Its Magic.
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11. I included this just to remind you of the power of mandalas.
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12. Thank You, mystery facilitator: Touching My Soul.
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13. I definitely had this done for me on Sunday.
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14. Outside the ordinary rules of life, Yes Please: Shout.
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15. And our final lesson from Johny Carson, that we all have the magician in us at the start, some of us just forget it.

There are two main roles that the energy of the Magician flow through—the initiate and the initiator. Or in other words, the mentee and the mentor.

As we just discussed, Magician energy drives us to obtain hidden knowledge. But contrary to the popular adage about professional magicians—that they never reveal their tricks—a man truly animated by the mature Magician archetype is eager to turn around and share what he has learned with others. He desires to elevate the serious and earnest seeker to his level.

This is why the lack of magician energy in modern culture is really at the heart of the issues many men are having today. There is a lack of mature men who have made a rite-of-passage themselves available to initiate other men into the “secret knowledge” of manhood. Dads and granddads, uncles and cousins, used to teach their sons and other young men how to act, dress, and behave like a man. But a lot of men have grown up without such a mentor these days and thus feel lost, directionless, and adrift. Its time we stopped this.

 

Today’s playlist is all masculine. We begin with one of my all-time favourite tunes by Donny Hathaway. Then two of the four rock bands, Thin Lizzy and Big Country. Flosstradamus provides a rap tune next, then some magic from Pilot. The penultimate tune is by Axel Rudi Pell and we finish with Tears for Fears: Gandalf and Yoda Go Out On a Coffee Date.

On Sunday I saw what the possibility of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included being the major theme can provide. Until next time we meet, my dear friends. If you enjoyed this, don’t forget to sign up to receive an email reminder when each blog is written.

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We Make A Life By What We Give!!


What am I feeling? I am feeling pride in the 200 men I spent a day with at the Island of Men who had gathered to take a stand for we were in it together to become better men for each other, our families and friends, lovers and children. The day consisted of ceremonies and about twenty workshops on a wide range of subjects that could achieve the stated intention. The following poem was written by my mentor Arion about the day, it sums up what happened pretty damn well. Here is a link to his work: Living As Essence.

Men. When you take off your mask.
You break my heart, in every way. 
You share wisdom beyond your years
And unbearable trauma under that smile

Men, when you take off the mask
You show me bone-deep loneliness
No longer covered by the effort of living
And you break my heart, again

Men, when your mask falls away
I see tender beauty 
And breathtaking kindness 
That shatters all I knew, as you

Men, without masks 
I love you, I see you 
I see the depth of your feeling 
And the burden of keeping it down

Men free from masks 
I see your tears and tenderness 
And your ache to love and be loved
I see your true power stirring

Let celebrate all that is behind that mask 
In you, me and all of us 
Let’s start a rebellion 
Where we wear the masks no more

Let us cry in each other’s arms
Then build a new world, together
A world that bows to tenderness
In every living thing

Let us break our hearts together 
In our beauty and our pain 
I love you, I love me 
Let’s take this love, to the world.

So what has the world said about the power of community, here are a few of my favourites:

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1. We attended a magnificent event and are setting up structures so that we can fulfil the third stanza.

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2. There will be Shadow and Light moments on our journeys, but as it says when it’s hard, We’re In This Together: Let’s Stick Together.

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3. But due to all of us, the vulnerability of men and the power that can create will not be a secret much longer.

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4. And Yes, some of this happened: Bette Davis Eyes.

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5. And heaps of Bro Love, which I define as being truly seen by another man, of whatever age.

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6. I’m guessing this is not the Paul Ryan from the Tea Party in the States, great ethos though: I’m an Individual.

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7. Mark Hyman, MD, believes that we all deserve a life of vitality and that we have the potential to create it for ourselves. That’s why he is dedicated to tackling the root causes of chronic disease by harnessing the power of Functional Medicine to transform healthcare. Dr Hyman and his team work every day to empower people, organizations, and communities to heal their bodies and minds, and improve our social and economic resilience.

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8. Those African dudes know how to keep our intention simple: How Far I’ll Go.

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9. Gentleman, make some noise!!

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10. We Wee’d in nature on the island. it really gets you in contact with the power of the wellness offered by communing with the land: Oh, Well.

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11. And didn’t they share this so beautifully in the Heartspace process?

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12. A philosophical doctrine or approach to life that emphasizes social unity and generosity of spirit: Ubuntu.

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13. Even Rumi’s on our side.

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14. Here is my favourite movement creator, here are some of his words: I Have A Dream.

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15. And for our final lesson, Men of the Island remember the power of the snowflake.

There is so much great stuff happening across the communities of the world to have its heart space be transformed. It was an honour to attend one of them on Sunday.

There is a playlist, it has one of Australia’s greatest silly songs amongst other classics. We begin with Bryan Ferry them move to Kim Carnes. Who remembers Jacko then a musical tune from Moana. One of the great early Fleetwood Mac numbers follows then a world music number from World Edition. We finish with the wisdom of Martin Luther King: We Make A Life By What We Give.

If you really knew me, you would know in my heart there lives the statement: Love and Respect For All, Everybody Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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Nurture Your Mind with Great Thoughts.


I was pondering the time that has gone by in my life, I’m 64 and the time that means I have left. Obviously the former is greater than the latter unless I discover the cure for reincarnation and even that would mean I might be an ant or an eagle and not Rocking Rod.

So what can one say or remember so that my later years are not spent in a sense of sedentary retirement? I recently enjoyed a list called Timeless Lessons Life teaches, here they are:

  1. Take everything you’ve ever learned – all the crazy experiences and lessons – and place it all in a box labelled “Thank You”.
  2. In life, you usually get what you ask for, but it rarely comes in the package you think it’s supposed to come in.
  3. The past can’t hurt you anymore – unless you let it.
  4. Maturity is not when we start speaking about big things, it’s when we start understanding the small things.
  5. Life is like a rainbow, you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear.
  6. Never let one bad day make you feel like you had a bad life.
  7. When you find yourself cocooned in isolation and despair and cannot find your way out of the darkness, remember that this is similar to the place where caterpillars go to grow their wings.
  8. Live in such a way that if someone decided to speak badly of you, no one would believe it.
  9. The only time you should look back is to see how far you’ve come.
  10. It’s your road and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.
  11. The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.
  12. The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open.
  13. Things change, but the sun always rises the next day. The bad news: nothing is permanent. The good news: nothing is permanent.

It also made me think of that famous line, Play it again Sam, Play as Time Goes By. What do members of society ruminate on as they get older, here are some of my favourites:

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1. I love the saying, It’s not the peak experience that affects your life the most, its what you go and do after them on a day to day basis that makes the difference.

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2. Makes me think of the saying time stood still as our eyes met across the room, did it really?: My Heart Will Go On.

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3. Love to give the words of Love, you never know how long you have got with each particular person.

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4. This quote is the right colour and theme for this song: As Time Goes By.

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5. Nike!!

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6. With age, comes logic, or so they say: Under Pressure.

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7. Henry Austin Dobson (18 January 1840 – 2 September 1921)  was an English poet and essayist. In 2005 the Industrial/Nu-metal band, Industrial Frost, used the words of a Dobson poem called “Before Sedan” as the lyrics of a song of the same name.

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8. Different ways to think about time: Only Time.

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9. Boom!!!

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10. Not even our remains, they change as time goes by: Some People Change.

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11. Exit, Door Right.

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12. Yes, both types – The Shadow and the Light: This is Me.

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13. And it was, amazing!!

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14. If we get it right, we spend our time as both the teacher and the student: Paradise.

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15. And for the final lesson, three salient points.

So here’s to the sun and the rain that makes up our lives day to day as time goes by, enjoy the ride.

Today’s playlist contains a few tunes from the movies – we begin with Celine Dion, the classic time song by Sam, Queen and Enya from the British scene then from the States, Montgomery Gentry, The Greatest Showman Cast and finishing with George Ezra: Nurture your mind with Great Thought.

It took me 59 years to come up with my life ethos and purpose of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. I would recommend finding it a little earlier. Until we speak again my dear friends.

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Don’t Let Anyone Else Hold The Pen!!


Back to Marc and Angel Chernoff for today’s blog, I stubbed my toe on their book 1000+ Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently: Hit them Up… As is my practice when writing about a possibility I open the book to any page and voila, that is the subject for today. On page 139 is the heading “10 Ways to WRITE a Life Story Worth Living” appeared.

The chapter begins with the following words from Marc:

‘When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen. Make conscious choices every day that align your actions with your values and your dreams. because the way you live each day is a sentence in the story of your life. Each day you make a choice as to whether the sentence ends in a period, a question mark, or an exclamation point.”

He then offers 10 ideas for writing a life story worth living:

  1. Find a Passion that makes you come alive.
  2. Work hard on that Passion.
  3. Live happily in your own way.
  4. Change your path when you must, but keep moving forward.
  5. When the going gets rough, keep fighting.
  6. Let go of the past and live consciously in the future.
  7. Embrace new ideas, lessons, and challenges.
  8. Appreciate the little things in life that mean a lot.
  9. Live honourably through kindness.
  10. Spend quality time with people you love.

What a beautiful, inspiring list, I’m willing to take it on. Now lets have a look at what the world has said about writing your own story, let’s take that journey:

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1. This beautiful image could be included on your vision board.

 

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2. Not all testimony is in the negative: when you have the feeling your words can make a difference, speak them: Song for Someone.

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3. Yes, You, the unique human being you are. Go on, you can do it.

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4. Mine says I am an Interculturalist: Love and Respect for All, Everyone included. Over to You: Live your Story.

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5. As Helen says, It will not always be easy. As Marc’s point 5 says, keep fighting during these time. Each little step makes a difference.

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6. To my new friend Josie, you are editing at the moment, your writing is magnificent: Write your Story.

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7. Excitement to me is covered in the expression Lolly Gobble Bliss Bombs.

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8. Ready, Set Write!!!: So Much Magnificence.

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9. Even the stars don’t necessarily have great stories. Greta was one of Hollywood’s shining lights in her time.

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10. And how could we leave out Deepak when writing about our lives: Change Your Life.

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11. Or Brene!!!

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12. 我是, Wer bin Ich, qui suis-je, ko wai Ahau, kas aš esu, هستم: Who I am.

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13. We all have friends we can do this with: don’t be stingy.

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14. To each of our glorious adventures: Yay!!!: This Is Me.

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15. And finally, some blank pages for you.

I will finish with some more words from Marc and Angel:

‘If you live honourably, no matter how old you get, you’ll never lose your beauty; it will gradually shift from your face to your heart. And remember, there is no better exercise for the heart than reaching out and holding the hand of someone in need.’

Today’s playlist even contains both types of music, County and Western. We begin with U2. Then to the European continent for Auli’i Cravalho and Francesca Battistelli. I just had to put in Miten and Deva Premal’s song about magnificence. Who would have thought I would ever include a Little Mix song, but here one is. Jessica Andrews is next and we complete with the cast of the Greatest Showman: Remember, Don’t Let Anyone Else Hold The Pen.

So remember to show Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included until next time we meet, my dear friends:

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Paradise has never been about Places!!


Not about a book this time, it’s about an experience. On the weekend I attended Collective Potential’s People on Purpose retreat: Here’s their contact page. My friend Emeli, the facilitator had a surprise for us on Saturday night, it would test my physical and trust issues to the Nth degree. I had to let my fears of walking down any slight slope when I inherited when I fell down an escalator drunk at the age of 18, a long time to hold onto something seeing I am now 64, but my balance has been shot ever since.

I am one of the worlds great givers, even having the nom de plume, The World’s Greatest Volunteer, but am sometimes naff at receiving, I realise there is a profound cost to this, but have trained myself harshly from the I am Unlovable shadow world.

What I learned was the power of the tribe, of true connection, can have people do things that they had told themselves they were incapable of. What has the world said about the power of connection over the decades, let’s have a look:

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1. Number one spot to Brene, the Queen of Vulnerability.

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2. I love the quote: You can get a kiss easily enough, having sex isn’t that hard really, but finding those people that touch your soul, that’s another thing: Listen To Your Heart.

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3. Relationship 101.

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4. Find Your Others: People Help the People.

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5. Actions not words, true connections not Roses…

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6. As James, the financial planner on the retreat said, you do not change your habits overnight, this is especially true in relationships: Time after Time.

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7. For the Barbara De Angelis fan on the retreat.

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8. I was the elder at 64, there were lots in their 20’s and 30’s, even a teenager I think: Human.

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9. Albert was born in the 18th Century, still relevant today.

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10. Too me this is more profound in shared experience: Shared Experiences.

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11. They are your weirdo’s after all.

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12. Has to slip in Emeli’s favourite word: Purpose: Love Connection.

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13. I think I did this with someone on the weekend, we don’t meet them that often, Emeli was one for me, so glad to meet another.

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14. I  have had these conversations, and they have gone for days: Fresh.

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15. Nada!!!

So go out there and find your others, allow true connection in your life, Collective Potential is a great place to start if you are new to the journey.

The playlist today has some certifiable classics in it: We begin with Roxette, then Birdy’s anthem to People. One of my top ten songs by Cyndi Lauper, then the bass tones of Rag and Bone Man. An unknown electronic classic by Menog. And what would a love connection playlist be without some Bollywood by Shubham Tiwari and some disco to finish off by Kool and the Gang…

Remember to show Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included until we meet again, my dear friends.

IamLoved9