You Are Not Alone In This!!!


I went to a local council meeting today to support a group who had been defunded, there was a lot of anger in the room. One group called the other racist for doing it, and there were allegations flying everywhere. I left as it did not seem to be serving many purposes, the decision to not defund them was watered down to a prissy offering of looking at other means of funding them. So it appears they must use the energy of their anger to fight the next battle.

So anger, what is its purpose and is it very useful in today’s world? Marc Chernoff writes about it as follows:

WHEN SOMEONE UPSETS us, It’s often because they aren’t behaving according to our fantasy of how they “should” behave. The frustration, then, stems not from their behaviour differs from our expectations. This is a moment for looking within.

You can’t control how other people behave. You can’t control everything that happens to you. What you can control is how you respond to it all. Your power lies in your response. Let’s practice together…

  1. Get comfortable with pausing.
  2. Respect people’s differences.
  3. Be compassionate
  4. Extend generosity and grace.
  5. Don’t take people’s behaviour personally.
  6. Talk less and learn to appreciate silence.
  7. Create a morning ritual that starts your day off right.
  8. Cope using healthy choices and alternatives
  9. Remind yourself of what’s right, and create more of it in the world.

What has the world written about the power that Anger has over us, here are a few of my favourites:

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1. I wouldn’t suggest telling someone they are being stupid if they make you angry, that would mean there would then be two angry people in the room.

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2. Known for his satirical wit and sardonic view of human nature, Ambrose Bierce earned the nickname “Bitter Bierce.” His mocking cynicism is on full display in The Devil’s Dictionary, a work that originally appeared under the title The Cynic’s Word Book. … As a short story writer, Bierce gave us many treasures: No Regrets.

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3. Ralph points out simple homegrown logic in a lot of his quotes, check out this classic.

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4. They say it is better to reclaim the anger than have it reclaim us by being blurted out all of a sudden: Just Give Me a Reason.

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5. In the development work I do, we speak of the immature feminine and masculine, and the mature feminine and masculine. Guess in which fields an insecure personality would hang around in?

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6. Anger doesn’t tend to hang around in the field of contentment: Going Through Changes.

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7. The cardigan-wearing one points out what lies within when we are angry.

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8. From the 16th Century, noted English poet Alexander Pope talks about anger being revenge on oneself: Smells Like Teen Spirit.

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9. Duck!!!

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10. Not a good anxiety practice, going to bed angry: Fight for the Right.

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11. Fark!!!!

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12. From the man who found enlightenment under the Bodhi tree, why holding onto anger is so toxic: Burning Down The House.

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13. Commonly known as a foot in mouth disease.

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14. It’s the old one finger pointing forward, three backwards routine: Lithium.

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15. The final lesson is that anger is just as important to deal with as all the other things we feel.

Everybody gets upset and loses their temper sometimes. Remind yourself that we are all more alike than we are different. When you catch yourself being angry with someone, add “just like me sometimes” Choose to let things go. Let others off the hook. Take the high road today.

Today’s playlist is anthem clad. From the 60s we begin with The Walker Brothers followed by some angst from Pink. My favourite white rapper Eminem is next, then the first of two Nirvana entries. A unique version of The Beastie Boys biggest hit will test your mettle. Talking Heads second last then back to Nirvana to finish off this great rocking playlist: You are not alone in This.

So the world does not say anger is bad all the time, I believe I need some to get my ethos, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included to triumph over the current world conversation. Remember if you like these blogs of mine sign up to have them in your inbox on the day of creation. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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Never Accept The Definition of Life From Others!!!


I am going through a 21-day process called Integrity and the Power of Habit via the Warriors of Love year-long training program I am in. Each week has a list of core principles, for week one they are as follows in the area of Integrity :

  1. Live from Embodies Essence.
  2. The Power of Declaration from Essence.
  3. Integrity – Do what you say you will do.
  4. With Integrity Comes Power.
  5. Write It Down – Put it in time.
  6. When Integrity falls out, we create distance.

For each of us, these principles will bring up different shadows where we could improve said integrity. I immediately noticed for me it was how I spend my mornings. I have watched ABC News Breakfast for at least an hour for the past five years. My friend Brian Johnson from Optimize, the best ten dollars you can spend on the internet: The link to Brian’s World. states that we are at our most refreshed first thing in the mornings . after we have rested our body.

So the TV is now turned off and I go for a half-hour walk wearing my absolutely fantastic Beats Bluetooth headphones listening to my morning meditation.

What do others say about the morning and how empowering it is when used to its full benefits, let’s have a look.

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1. My Tibetan Buddhist school referred to him as Shakyamuni Buddha. This is about living in the present.

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2. One is not the loneliest number sometimes: One.

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3. A bit out of integrity with the spelling but a great message.

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4. My life ethos is Love and Respect for all, Everyone Included so I cannot agree with this: One Love.

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5. Celebrations, Challenges and Commitments are what we look at in the group.

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6. Word Magic: Try.

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7. And hopefully we all have one of these, and if we don’t, they are out there, you just have not found each other yet.

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8. Refer to the Blog title…: Born This Way.

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9. Is this a tautology, even if it’s not, it’s clever.

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10. From the worlds most popular philosopher, Ms Unknown, the reason why early to bed, early to rise is such a great idea: Live It Up.

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11. From the early and mid-1800s, Ralph speaks of the benefits the mornings offer.

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12. Life is a Blessing, a powerful mantra to live life by: Blessed We Are.

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13. And is all across the planet.

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14. Cute cat photo of the blog: Moving On Up.

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15. And for our final lesson, there are 7 billion different ways to relate to these principles.

Today’s list from Marc and Angel Chernoff is entitled: 10 WAYS Successful people START Their Mornings:

  1. Get an Early Start.
  2. Clarify and Review Your Priorities.
  3. Prune any nonessential commitments for the day.
  4. Exercise.
  5. Eat a Healthy Breakfast.
  6. Kiss your partner good-bye.
  7. Practice 15 minutes of positive visualisation.
  8. Eat That Frog.
  9. Connect with the Right People.
  10. Stay Informed.

Today’s playlist educated me, I did not know that one of Australia’s musical icons went as far back as the sixties, but there you go. We begin with John Farnham and Bob Marley from the last century. Pink and Lady Gaga returns us to this one. Another Australian number one from Mental As Anything. Then a fantastic singalong from Peia, and we complete with some R and B from M People: Never Accept The Definition of Life From Others!!!

So here is to walking to my nearby lake in Rezza, aka Reservoir each morning. Showing myself Love and Respect For All, Everybody Included. Remember if you enjoy the subject matter of my blog, sign up on the right-hand side on the homepage. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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There Is No House Like The House Of Belonging!!!


We had a training day for my Warriors of Love yeat long training program yesterday, that’s Sunday for the rest of my readers who don’t live in Australia. Embarrassingly due to lack of sleep, I fell asleep twice in the theoretical section of the day. But towards the end of the day, we did an amazing exercise on Belonging – as in what was our belief’s that had us not fully belong in a group of over 30 people and what did we think was the core belief of the group that prevented it.

There was an amazing range of reasons offered, some people spoke easily, others did not comment at all. For myself, my bugbear “If they truly knew how unlovable I was they would hate me” was my offering. Others covered I am afraid to shine because I will be cut off at the knees too, I can’t bring all part of my life here. They were as many and varied and unique as the diverse individuals in the group.

When we moved on to the group ethos it tied into fear of what would our lives be like if we actually achieved this. The thought crossed my mind that my worrisome and sometimes anxious identity would have to die. So what has the world said about belonging, what stops or creates a sense of community, let’s have a look:

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1. Who else could we start this with but a classic Brene Brown quote?

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2. As children, we will try anything because everything is a new experience, and we belong to them all: Adventure of a Lifetime. 

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3. British film director Anthony Minghella powerfully states the control these thoughts have over us.

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4. I totally get where actor James Caan is coming with this statement: Hey Ho.

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5. Not just students: children, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, ex-lovers, etc. etc.

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 6. I think William should have called them the superpowers: Superpower.

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7. Wonder (curiosity), self-discovery, problem-solving, interaction, exploration, and play—that’s what Bev Bos taught me. Reading and writing come after these approaches to learning are established. Children learn best when they can make their own choices and set their own goals.

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8. The entertainment industry is featuring heavily in this blog, musician Tom Petty directs us towards our freedom spot: Freedom.

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9. That’s how powerful your story is – speak kindly to yourself.

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10. More Brene, Self Love 101: Love Myself.

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11. And from outside Western civilization comes proof this is a worldwide search.

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12. Being the daughter of famous parents may have something to do with this quote, Gail’s mother was Lena Horne: Stormy Weather.

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13. Belonging has many different meanings.

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14. Being the best or most extreme example of its kind. “the ultimate accolade”: Ultimate.

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15. The final lesson for today is this image because I loved it so much.

I like adding one of my friends Marc and Angel Chernoff, who wrote 1000+ Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently lists at the end of my blogs, I have found them extremely useful on my healing journey. Todays is entitled 10 TIMELESS lessons from a Life Well Lived:

  1. Happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.’
  2. Be a student of Life every day.
  3. Experience is the Best Teacher.
  4. Your Choice, Your Actions, Your Life.
  5. No one is “too busy.” It’s all about priorities.
  6. Be patient and tough. Someday this pain will be useful to you.
  7. It’s usually better to be kind than right.
  8. You can become a magnet for good things by wishing everyone well.
  9. Only you are in charge of your attitude.
  10. Satisfaction is not always the fulfilment of what you want.

Today’s playlist features Rock, Rap and Pop Diva’s. We begin with the rock of Coldplay and the Lumineers. Beyonce and Hailee Steinfeld are split by a classic Woodstock anthem from Richie Havens. The penultimate song returns to the time of World War Two from Lena Horne and we finish with a grungey rap number from Denzel Curry: There Is No House Like the House of Belonging!!!

I was thinking as we were standing in the completion circle of our Belonging process that if we achieve this it would be possible for the whole planet to come from Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included, my heart shuddered. Remember if you enjoy reading my musings you can sign up to receive them on the right-hand side of my home page. Until we meet again on the airwaves, my dear friends.

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Take Time To Connect To The Divine.


I spent the weekend at three entirely different connections in my life. Friday night I made chai at Dancing Freedom, Saturday I crewed on a Spring Chant Meditation and Sunday I attended Sunday Assembly. Each fulfils a different part of my soul and the people come from completely different parts of society.

I believe the more parts of society I have contact with it helps me able to strengthen my resolve to see the ethos, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included become accepted across the planet. I am working on the Act Local, Think Global principle. I  live in the Darebin Council area in Melbourne, Australia where there are over 150 different cultural groups residing and volunteer at the Darebin Intercultural Centre where differences are Acknowledged, Explored, Understood and Embraced.

How has the world look at connecting in this time of world leaders talking about nationalism vs, Globalism and the difference which of these being dominant will make to human beings connecting with each other? Lets have a look over time:

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1. From Hollywood, the land of fables comes this wise insight regarding human connection.

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2. Jacqueline is an entrepreneur who left the banking industry to make a difference in the area of global poverty: We are all Connected. 

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3. In our instant gratification times, we can easily miss the message of deep connection.

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4. The We are all Starseed conversation: Across The Universe.

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5. It can be as simple as eyes locking across a crowded room at a party.

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6. Harvey grew up openly gay at a time when very few celebrities were. So to have the above be true he must have had a strong belief in universal connection: You’ve Got A Friend.

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7. Hip Hop artist Dramatik of the Wolves speaks about the mind, body and soul connection we make with certain individuals we come across in our life journey.

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8. Don’t really know what Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg . is referring to here, although I know I have connected to quite a few people on a deep level across the airwaves: So Far Away.

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9. I agree, if you can discuss your shadow and light with your connections, they tend to be more intimate than just making polite conversation.

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10. Our roots are our common humanity: Human.

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11. Connection isn’t always about spoken words, it may be a shoulder to cry on.

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12. And then there is the special one: We Found Love.

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13. One World.

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14. John is known for his work on marital stability and relationship analysis through scientific direct observations, many of which were published in peer-reviewed literature. The lessons derived from this work represent a partial basis for the relationship counselling movement that aims to improve relationship functioning and the avoidance of those behaviours shown by Gottman and other researchers to harm human relationships: Steady Love.

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15. And our final lesson is from Steve Maraboli, I spend my time on how to make all relationships like this. Imagine that world paradigm.

A short blog today, Dancing Freedom fuels my body transformation connection. Chanting my heart connection and Sunday Assembly my desire to connect to humanity through service.

Today’s playlist begins with one of the most unusual songs I have used, it is a group of scientists known as Symphony of Science. Then a cover by Rufus Wainwright followed by two songs by Carole King and James Taylor where they reverse roles. The beautiful anthem by Rag N Bone Man is next, the penultimate song is by Rihanna and we complete with the golden voice of India Arie: Take Time To Connect To The Divine.

A dear friend who passed way to early, said that Love was the Answer. I agree, the more we communicate it the closer we will get to having Love and Respect For All, Everybody Included in all our relationships. Remember, if you wish to receive a reminder about when I have done my latest blog, sign up on the right-hand side. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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In Praise of the Women and Men of DE, Sensual sisters to the Core.


OK, I admit I am a DE sister in a male body, and I love the distinctions of this magnificent portal in life.

My friend and mentor Arion Light recently wrote an epic article praising it, Here is some of what he said:

For me, this is medicine our disconnected culture so desperately needs. A return to an honour of the beauty of the feminine. I feel, as do many of you I’m sure, our disconnection from our deep love within is at the heart of our insatiable need for stuff and distraction. When we truly see ‘her’ beauty all we can do is bow and give our lives to celebrate and serve her.
I really get it’s not the ‘only’ answer. Clearly, this reverence for love, women, earth and simplicity has to turn to action if we are to make the cultural shift that many of us hunger for. Yet this is a portal to initiating women, men and all beings to know this wild dark love in themselves, and that has to be a very central step to the revolution we need to survive.

There are five archetypes studied, The Erotic Mother, The Wild Women, The Slut, The Maiden and the Priestess over either an intense week or an eight-week evening format. The way you look at life and the human beings in it are transformed forever.

Given this is relatively new work, just seven years young, how did the world speak about female archetypes prior to this, lets walk down that path:

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1. Sisters, do we run with the wolves?

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2. Spell time methinks: For Love of Woman.

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3. Could be the DE sister to-do list.

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4. This work clearly heals the participant’s relationships with their ancestors: Familiar.

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5. You enter many doors over the times, and you come out the other side, some easier than others.

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6. Lucy rocks: Tantric Shamanic Dance Journey.

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7. You get the opportunity to enquire into your relationship to the naked body if you wish.

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8. Fuck Off: Closer.

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9. Mrs POTUS, did she pass the test?

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10. Take the risk, sisters: Last Stand.

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11. Shadow and Light, they travel together and both are as necessary as each other.

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12. It was some brave male sisters who kept requesting who saw this work became available for he’s as well as she’s: Good For You.

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13. A drop of free water, magnificent line.

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14. And from the lesser-known member of the Gates partnership, comes this powerful quote: Touch.

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15. And our final lesson comes from Lord of The Rings. Haldir was an Elf of Lothlórien, probably a Silvan Elf, and a march warden who guarded the forest’s northern borders. When the Fellowship of the Ring arrived in Lórien, he became their guide to Caras Galadhon. He and his companions are described as wearing grey hooded cloaks and residing on platforms or flets. Underlying all is Love.

This is Arion’s final wish in his news feed article about the work and its courses, May they fill with people and may we all grow an inner and outer love that brings a revolution of deep love and healthy power throughout the fabric of our worlds. I second the motion.

Today’s playlist comes from one of the Dancing Eros playlists I created from existing Spotify lists that began with the Dancing Eros titles. See, I much prefer visual to the audio, there are some damn sexy videos in the lists. If you put in Dancing Eros in the Youtube search engine you will find a few. The first track comes from Perequios, then Agnes Obel which is followed by a momentous track from Leyolah Antara. Two men follow, NIne Inch Nails and Kwabs. The penultimate track is from Selena Gomez and we finish with Holy Other: In Praise Of.

If this amazing work could spread across the planet, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included would happen sooner than later, methinks. Remember if you like these blogs register to receive them in your inbox on the right-hand side. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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It’s About Breaking Down The Walls


I am starting to get a lot of information in my Facebook news feed as to what makes a man a real man, I was in my local library the other day when I saw the updated version of Steve Biddulph’s visionary book Manhood first released in 1998, now called the New Manhood: Love, Freedom, Spirit and the New Masculinity and re-released in 2015. I discovered a review of the book which sums how I see the situation, written by a phycologist named Katja:

Just reading the first ten pages of this book will probably be enough to leave you in no doubt – we in the Western world have a serious problem with men. Lonely, frustrated, confused, unhappy men. Men who can’t express their emotions and either numb them or channel them in negative and violent ways towards women, children, and other men. Men whose identities are tied up in their careers, because they never learned that there were any other options. Men whose fathers were authoritarian, cold, distant, abusive, or absent, and who are perpetuating those same patterns in their own families. Particularly affecting is the section in which Biddulph explores where we as a society got our modern conception of “manliness” – and where, frankly, it all started to go wrong. If this book impresses upon you one message, it is that our concept of manhood has become warped, constricted, deranged – and is in desperate need of re-evaluation. The fact that this is just as much the case as 20 years ago when it was written is extremely worrying. Biddulph doesn’t mince words – he cuts straight to the point and tells it like it is, succinctly but deeply exploring the problems of modern manhood, with a writing style that is refreshing and at times devastatingly emotional. So much so that the friend who lent it to me said that it made him cry – and if you think there’s anything wrong with that, then this book is for you in particular! Here is a link to the book: The New Manhood.

All over the world movements are arising to shift this, in my hometown, Melbourne we have one-day events called Isle of Men and a three-day retreat called Menergy, they are for men to attend to become a better man for themselves, their partners, their children, their families and their friends. So what has the world said about masculinity over the years, let’s take that journey:

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1. Withholding causes emotional and physical pain on an ongoing basis.

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2. Little Boxes, Little Boxes all in a row: Mask Off.

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3. What one could call living a complete life, not ignoring the hard parts.

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4. Wrong-way, go back: A Woman’s Worth.

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5. Boom!!!

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6. The shadow and the light, Its all part of the deal: Shadow of The Day.

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7. If this irritates you, its time to begin the journey.

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8. The journey from the mind to the heart and back again – a great start: Jar of Hearts.

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9. I am 65, I only learnt this in my last five years, it is very freeing.

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10. Both M and F words, but they have totally different meanings and distinctions attached to them: Breaking Free.

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11. Repeat after me, It is not given to you.

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12. The film industry has a lot to answer for: Gangsta’s Paradise.

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13. Because I can.

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14. Fuck, this is good: In My Feelings.

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15. And for our final lesson in masculinity, who is the greatest victim, time to go and look in your mirror.

Each chapter has a quote at the beginning, I thought I would finish with a few:

You and your father: Oh will you never return to see, your bruised and battered sons? Oh, I would, I would, if welcome I were for they loathe me everyone – Traditional Folk Song.

Real Sex: Slowly, Slowly in bed with a woman, I am learning to be human – Jesse Kornbluth

From Boy to Man: Between childhood, boyhood, adolescence and manhood there should be sharp lines drawn with tests, feats, rites, stories, songs and judgements – Jim Morrison.

You would think a playlist about masculinity would be all men lamenting on the subject, not so. There is quite a bit of rap though. We begin with Future who is followed by Alicia Keys. Linkin Park gets quite dark next then Christina Perri and Ruby Rose have their say. Back to rap to finish with Coolio and Drake: It’s about breaking down the Walls.

In the steps forward I have seen in the men’s movement in my country I hold great hope for my ethos: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until we meet again my dear friends.

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Thoughts Give Joy When They Speak!!


Do you ever spend time with those thoughts that debilitate you or hope that they will go away? My thoughts like this that keep hanging around is that I am unworthy of love. Even if my life is totally in disagreement with this underlying it somewhere in my body that thought lingers. I have recently been working with my mentor to actually accept the idea as being part of my life. Fuck, it’s hard, as I have put 60 plus years into hoping it will go away or ignoring it. So how have you and life dealt with shadow thoughts, lets have a look:

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1. We go back to the 13th century and Persia for the first comment, unbelievable that these words are still current today.

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2. Nietzsche became the youngest ever to hold the Chair of Classical Philology at the University of Basel in 1869 at the age of 24. At 24, I was listening to my shadows, full-on: Be Yourself.

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3. I am doing the opposite at the moment, we shall see.

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4. Zen originated in China during the period 200 to 500 A.D. It was said to be a combination of Buddhism and Taoism and is most prevalent in Japan these days: Have You Seen Your Mother Baby, Standing In The Shadows.

5. Because it is so cute.

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6. As I delve more in accepting these thoughts as part of me, this statement makes more sense: Blinded by the Light.

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7. Past, Present, Future.

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8. Buddha said some ace things, didn’t he: Joy.

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9. What nationality is that name, great quote…

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10. That thought often leaves me not acknowledging when I am shown love, it’s a constant fight to express it: A Whole New World.

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11. Those thoughts keep on whispering their message, that’s why we say they are in the shadows.

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12. This doesn’t need words to explain what it depicts: Bette Davis Eyes.

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13. I could never bring myself to watch slasher movies, but even I remember the name Chucky from the Childs Play franchise.

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14. Ingrid E. Newkirk is a British animal rights activist and the president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, the world’s largest animal rights organisation. There are all types of shadows created on our planet: Choose Me.

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15. For the final lesson, Rumi points out that if there is the blessing of love, that included your shadows.

So acceptance of your shadows is one step to fulfilment in your life., I have fallen in love with my friend Marc’s lists again – here are his 30 things to start doing for Yourself:

  1. Start spending time with the right people.
  2. Start facing your problems head-on.
  3. Start being honest with yourself about everything.
  4. Start making your own happiness a priority.
  5. Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly.
  6. Start noticing and living in the present.
  7. Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you.
  8. Start being polite to yourself.
  9. Start Enjoying the things you already have.
  10. Start creating your own happiness.
  11. Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance.
  12. Start believing that you’re ready for the next step.
  13. Start entering new relationships for the right reasons.
  14. Start giving new people you meet a chance.
  15. Start competing against an earlier version of yourself.
  16. Start cheering for other people’s victories.
  17. Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations.
  18. Start forgiving yourself and others.
  19. Start helping those around you.
  20. Start listening to your own inner voice.
  21. Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks.
  22. Start noticing the beauty of small moments.
  23. Start accepting things when they are less than perfect.
  24. Start working towards your goals every single day.
  25. Start being more open about how you feel.
  26. Start taking full accountability for your own life.
  27. Start actively nurturing your most important relationships.
  28. Start concentrating on the things you can control.
  29. Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes.
  30. Start noticing how wealthy you are right now.

If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it. Talk to those closest to you. Tell them the truth about how you feel. Let them listen. The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step towards feeling great again.

Today’s playlist is male-dominated again as we approach Father’s Day in my country, Australia. We begin the journey with Audioslave, then some classic Stones. Manfred Mann follows then the sultry tones of Isaac Hayes. We then cross to film with Mena Massoud and Naomi Scott. The penultimate tune is Kim Carnes and we close with our unknown number by Musicians for a Cause: Thoughts Give Joy When They Speak!!!

If you are accepting all of yourself this means all areas of Love and Respect for All, Everbody Included are covered. Until we meet again, my dear friends. Remember to sign up to the email list to receive all the blogs as they come down the production line.

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