If at First, you don’t Succeed, You’re Normal!!!


 

In her excellent, book: Mindset, The New Psychology of Success – How We Can Learn to Fulfill Our Potential: Get it here. Carol Dweck, Stanford University psychologist in decades of research on achievement and success, has discovered a truly groundbreaking idea-the power of our mindset.  Dweck explains why it’s not just our abilities and talent that bring us success-but whether we approach them with a fixed or growth mindset. The major difference between the two is as follows, Carol writes:

“The growth-minded athletes, CEOs, musicians, or scientists all loved what they did, whereas many of the fixed-minded ones did not. Many growth-minded people didn’t even plan to go to the top. They got there as a result of doing what they love. It’s ironic: The top is where the fixed-mindset people hunger to be, but it’s where many growth-minded people arrive as a by-product of their enthusiasm for what they do. This point is also crucial. In the fixed-mindset, everything is about the outcome. If you fail—or if you’re not the best—it’s all been wasted. The growth mindset allows people to value what they’re doing regardless of the outcome.”

“Is it ability or mindset? Was it Mozart’s musical ability or the fact that he worked till his hands were deformed? Was it Darwin’s scientific ability or the fact that he collected specimens non-stop from early childhood?” 

“People with the growth mindset know that it takes time for potential to flower.” ~ Carol S. Dweck, PhD.

So how has the growth-minded mindset been viewed over the centuries, here are a few of my favourite sayings:

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1. Out there on the edge, that is where we discover what we love to do. What it is that we really want to spend our time on.

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2. What happens to the hundreds, even thousands of children’s mindset who were going to be astronauts when they grow up and that of the rare few that actually make it: How Far I’ll Go.

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3. The yellow ones say it all.

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4. As long as you really believe 100 per cent, another way of saying doing something you love: I Believe In Miracles.

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5. First attempt in Learning, Forever Acquiring Important Lessons, First Action in Learning equals your flaws.

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6. My group is called the Warriors of Love, brought together by my mentor Arion Light to spread Essence work around the globe: Essence.

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7. Did you see that chance fly by? No sorry, it isn’t part of my growth mindset.

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8. Definitely, from the land of the growth mindset, a challenge may not exist as a concept in Fixed Mindset land: Hey World, Don’t Give Up.

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9. “Every child needs someone to be crazy about them.” These are the words of Salome Thomas-EL, award-winning teacher and principal, and nationally recognized educator. They shape his life-long commitment to answering the question, “How do we ensure that every child achieves their greatest potential?” This question lies at the heart of the national dialogue on education policy, the day in and day out work of school personnel, and the hopes of every parent. Central to this challenge is how we succeed with children who are facing the most serious barriers to success: poverty, violence, neglect, and low expectations.

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10. It’s easier to master when it is truly doing what you love: #that Power.

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11. Everything, your body is not deaf, like we think it is at times.

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12. They have growth mindsets, they came out as someone’s bundle of joy just like the rest of us: Not Afraid.

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13. From Carol, three amazing important W questions to ask yourself each day.

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14. Beep, Stop-Go: I am not my Hair!!

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15. Obstacles, challenges, mistakes, frustrations, etc. etc. , all part of life.

What is the danger of the fixed mindset? If you are stuck in this mindset it can get us in (a lot of!) trouble. Let’s take a quick look at the “growth mindset”: “In this mindset, the hand you’re dealt is just the starting point for development. The growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Although people may differ in every which way—in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments—everyone can change and grow through application and experience.”

Some rock rhythms in today’s playlist. It begins with a soundtrack hit from Alessia Cara, then Hot Chocolate have us believe in miracles. We then rock it out with Lucinda Williams and Michaele Frente. Then pop from this century with Will.I.Am, an Eminem anthem finishing with India.Arie: If at First, you don’t Succeed, You’re Normal

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

Namaste2

 

I Saw That – Karma!!


Exceptionalism = Unusual ; not typical. Reading the Philosophers Notes for Dr Bob Rotella’s great book How Champions Think I was struck by the following statement:

“One of the concepts I struggle with when I work with people both inside and outside of sport is reality. … My job with such people is to get them to understand and believe that exceptional people create their own reality. The average person won’t set a goal unless he thinks, and people close to him think, that he has at least a fifty-fifty chance of reaching it. That’s what the average person considers a realistic goal. The average person takes account of all the information that’s out there saying he can’t do something. If let’s say, he thinks about committing himself to become the best basketball player he can be and getting a college scholarship, he’ll be aware of the fact that maybe one high school player in thirty gets a college scholarship. Since that seems to make the odds a lot worse than fifty-fifty, the average person is likely to give up on that goal before he even commits to trying to reach it, settling for mediocrity in high school and giving up the game thereafter.

The exceptional person, the person who does great things, doesn’t see things that way. The exceptional person has a vision—of great performances, of a great career, of a great something— and doesn’t care about what others might say or think. He ignores information that suggests his dream is unrealistic. He just sets about making that vision a reality. He sees things before others see them. He creates his own reality. Afterwards, other people may say to him, ‘We knew you could do it. We always sensed you were going to be one of the great ones.’ But that’s probably not what he heard in the beginning. In the beginning, he probably heard, ‘You have to be crazy to think you can do that.’”

Rotella says: Average people are “realistic.” Exceptional people CREATE their reality.

So how does society relate to exceptionalism, here are some of the things they say:

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1. As part of exceptionalism, you must relate to the above koan, because you will not always win.

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2. Aren’t we always looking for a sign from God to confirm what we already know, here it is: Gods Plan.

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3. From The Monk who sold his Ferrari, luck has nothing to do with being exceptional, you need to put in the hard yards.

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4. When you ran those ten extra laps when you were a kid, I can still hear my friends calling me crazy, I later became a marathoner: Crazy, Sexy, Wild.

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5. More Ferrari moments.

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6. We create a box early on in our life so people can recognise us, how do you expand it to fit in your amazing: Lose Yourself.

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7. A new standard of imagination, they don’t teach that to you in schools.

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8. Nothing to get in your way as you approach your greatness, they are all left behind: Go The Extra Mile.

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9. Back to the 14th Century and the founder of the Jesuits for a quote that is still relevant today, the former deeds are what makes the difference.

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10. Actress, model, dancer and humanitarian, Audrey Hepburn lived and walked the talk of the second interpretation of the above letters: La Vie En Rose.

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11. Find the others who will say it about you, they are your keepers.

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12. Because its Maya, and she was exceptional: Love Liberates.

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13. Another word for Exceptionalism.

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14. Nine to Five is not it: Nine to Five.

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15. There is no right way for exceptionalism, you have to do what it takes.

Life is a precious (!!!) gift. We’re blessed with an opportunity to see just how good we can be at something we love doing. We get to have a ball for many years seeing how many beautiful things we can do with our lives. For each of us, this is unique. Get out there on the journey to what is your exceptional gift to give to humanity.

Today’s playlist wanders over the generations, something for the millennials and the grandparents. We begin with Drake and Inna for the younger at heart. Back to the beginning of rap with Eminem. Spoken word from Motivation 2016 comes next then from Grannies time Audrey Hepburn, is that French? We finish with two iconic women, Maya Angelou and Dolly Parton. Here’s the link: I saw that – Karma.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends:

namasteflower

 

Prometheus Is Reaching Out For The Stars!!


I discovered another Brene Brown book I didn’t know about yesterday: I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t): Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to ” I am Enough”. A long title and subtitle but flicking through it I just had to buy it.

I turned to a page that caught my attention and this is what Brene had written:

Reaching Out: When it comes to my personal struggles with appearance, family, parenting, motherhood and work, I’m one hundred per cent dependent on my connection network. I depend on them for advice, guidance, support, feedback, validation, praise and sometimes I need them for plain old handholding or babysitting.

I’ve worked very hard to build this network – it’s now big and strong. I also depend on these people to lean on me. I know it sounds funny, but I want to be in relationships that work both ways. Receiving empathy is a wonderful gift, but so is offering it. Both giving and receiving make me a better person and help increase my shame resilience.

I can so relate to the last sentence because one of my major struggles in life is the act of receiving. I am one of the great givers and am regularly acknowledged for it, I have been given the title in my community of a beautiful man. I was recently acknowledged by my community to the tune of being gifted over $2000 to help replace my computer that was damaged by my English student. It involved over a hundred people saying to me you are enough and donating money. It wasn’t about the money to me but the act of people saying we love you and taking an action to express it.

So what ways does society have in place for people to reach out to each other, here are a few:

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1. At every moment in your day, there is an opportunity to do this. We walk through a world where we know so little about each other.

 

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2. Time to access your inner child. Remember when we were young and asking for things wasn’t a problem. We may not have got what we wanted every time, but we bravely asked anyway: Why.

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3. At the height of my Mental Health journey, I often forgot the first line of this mantra, so accessing the second and third were virtually impossible.

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4. An athlete who broke down the walls of racism in an international sport, I imagine there was a lot of light and shadow in his journey to achieve it:

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5. My life became a lot more joyful when I realised that the access to it lay in giving to others as well as myself.

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6. One of the great sages of our time. Why do we need Aristotle when we have a wise, cuddly bear: My Heart Will Go On.

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7. Heads or Tails?

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8. But It’s also useful to use some discernment, as the only person who can really rescue someone lives in our mirrors: How To Save A Life.

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9. Sometimes no answer, no words is the answer that is required when you reach out.

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10. I have become officially self-employed recently. I am finding more and more that until I reach out that very little success will come my way: Girl On Fire.

 

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11. And who does not want the divine reaching out to them?

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12. I was about to choose Pharrell’s Happy when this song came up on Youtube: Can’t Stop The Feeling.

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13. This image makes me think of the saying Power To The People, let us be one of them.

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14. This is what my world paradigm: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included is based on: True Colours.

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15. And for the final comment, I go to one of my top ten, Maya Angelou. Our society seems to have forgotten the power of a loving touch.

In her TED talks on vulnerability, Brene speaks about the power of speaking shame is learning to express how we feel and ask for what we need, Then I would say I am getting better at it. I recommend buying and reading Brene’s book, it will move you a fair way down the track.

Today’s playlist has a bit of good old rock and some beautiful musical songs in it. Pop diva Sabrina Carpenter starts us off, Linkin Park rocks it up next. The Celine Dion displays her incredible range, then back to some rock with The Fray, A great women’s anthem from Alicia Keys ending with two numbers from The Trolls animated movie. Here is the link for your enjoyment: Prometheus Is Reaching Out For The Stars.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower

 

 

 

 

Find Joy In The Ordinary!!!


It takes courage to open ourselves up to joy. Joy is possibly the most vulnerable emotion we experience in our life. Young children are great at it, society soon deals with this by sending them off to the structure of formalised education where joy is not cool anymore.

Brene Brown calls this being trained in foreboding joy,  beating vulnerability to the punch by imagining the worst or feeling nothing in hopes that the other shoe won’t drop. One way both Brene and I suggest around this is to feel gratitude, moment to moment for your ordinary life. Not wishing that it was different to what it is at this exact moment. This doesn’t mean having no dreams or goals, it means being deeply grateful for the progress you have made so far in your life.

So how does the world talk about Joy, let’s skip down that path together:

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1. Time to break out the Gumboots/Wellies. Remember those rainsoaked paths of your childhood and how long it took to walk down them as each puddle became a new adventure.

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2. Commenting on his imprisonment Nelson Mandela stated I went on a long holiday for 27 years. How many of us could retain our joy for that incredible amount of time: Nelson Mandela.

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3. We need both kinds – The dark and the light in the recipe that makes up joyfulness.

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4. This quote makes me think of the joy of being loved: Perfect.

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5. Freely Interdependent exuberance – Orgasmic!!

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6. And what brings Joy to your life? Being in Action: Confident.

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7. No regrets, please.

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8. Dumbledore is a very wise wizard, after all, he ran Hogwarts: Turn On The Lights.

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9. How does the Universe speak to you? If not joyfully time to reboot it.

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10. What will be on your tombstone? For me, my definition of Interculturalism: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included: Nessun Dorma.

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11. We are born free, what happens?

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12. Love this beautiful list of life: The Joy of Life.

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13. I, I, I,I, I, I,I, I, I,I, I, I,I, I, I,I, I, I,I, I, I,I, I, I,I, I, I,I, I, I,I, I, I,I, I, I,I, I, I,I, I, I.

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14. Smell the Roses: English Country Garden.

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15. His real name is Rolihlaha Mandela……his teacher gave him the name Nelson! His name means troublemaker.

To seek out moments of collective joy and to show up for moments of collective pain, e have to be brave. This means we have to be vulnerable. Brene Brown, in her 200,000 plus pieces of research couldn’t find a single example of courage that did not require vulnerability. Can you, In Your Life?

Today’s playlist contains the first Operatic song I have chosen, we begin with The Special, followed by the uber pairing of Ed Sheeran and Beyonce. Then a pop diva in Demi Lovato by the rapper Future. Then comes our operatic number with Pavarotti, then off to the Emerald Isle with The Corrs, finishing off with a quirky ditty from Jimmy Rodgers. Here is the Youtube Playlist for your viewing pleasure: Find Joy In The Ordinary.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower

 

Expect Problems and Eat Them For Breakfast!!


I got banned from Facebook for four days recently. I posted a picture of a pregnant woman just above one of the alt-right demonstrators belching out hate speech, guess which one I got banned for and did not meet community standards. I am motivated by the premise you can use Facebook for possibility and love the expression my friend Jo Jo uses, Booker Lookers, it delights me, and that’s what today’s blog is about, what motivates you in life.

Back to Marc and Angel Chernoff for their empowering description of What is Motivation: At its most basic level. motivation is what spurs you to act on a desire; it’s the determination and drive to make that desire a reality. Motivation moves you to show up to the project and get the right things done. It’s the force that moves an idea from point A – where it lives only in your head – to point B – where you make the idea a reality. Here’s the link to their webpage, I cannot recommend their work highly enough, and they have a new book, it’s marvellous: The Portal.

How does the world say things so we stay motivated, let’s have a look:

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1. Who remembers what clock cards where. My employment history goes back to these archaic days where you had to clock on and off at your work. The practice of clocking your workmates in and out was rampant.

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2. I used to live outside the city, the power of looking at the Milky Way in the night sky, there are probably not words that fulfil the magical desires it conquers up: Starman.

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3. We go all the way back to the Third Century to discover who St. Jerome was. Venerated in the Catholic, Orthodox, Anglican and Lutheran Churches. He is best known for his translation of most of the Bible into Latin (the translation that became known as the Vulgate).

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4. Remember when you were wooing your beloved? We did all that had to be done because we knew there was no other alternative: Don’t Stop.

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5. I did a training program on the weekend, I am a Warrior of Love. We created the resonance of your seed essence that embodies why you exist. At eight out of ten was challenge.

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6. And Arthur Ashe did a lot. The first African American to break through on the professional Tennis Circuit, he used his skill to change a conversation about who could play the game.: Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen.

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7. Could I do a blog on motivation without including the big Tone.No, not really?

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8. What are the sounds of silence? only one song: Sounds of Silence.

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9. Who remembers The Hour of Power being on the telly on a Sunday morning. Robert Schuller was the host of the show. Strangely, World Wrestling was on soon after.

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10. Is your comfort zone Netflix: The Comfort Zone.

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11. Your Why, Simon Senik’s TED talk, what else do you think of?

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12. May your dreams all come true: A Million Dreams.

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13. I think the first film I saw Bill Murray in was Ghostbusters. A second viewing years later dated the film.

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14. Just had to use this for the image: Never Give Up.

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15. It’s all in the languaging, use negative words and the world will be a dark place, change them to be more positive and you will get what you reap.

More Marc and Angel, There are two big pieces to motivation: the motivation to just get started and the motivation ot keep going. In the best of both worlds, one leads to the other: once you find the motivation to get started, your progress keeps you going as you build and sustain momentum.

The playlist this week begins with two classics from David Bowie and Michael Jackson. Then a quirky offering from Baz Luhrmann followed by another classic from Simon and Garfunkel. It becomes more modern with Vanessa Williams followed by the Greatest Showman soundtrack and ends with Sia.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower

 

Excuses will always be There!!!


Kate Swoboda writes in her excellent book, The Courage Habit: Here’s the link., What are Stories? Stories are internal narratives and assumptions that we make about how the world operates. But, here’s the important part: stories might not be objectively true. They are your lens on life and, like a pair of sunglasses can change how you see the world. The story you put on your experience has everything to do with whether you see yourself as a victim or a survivor, whether an experience is dangerous or an opportunity, and whether you have the capacity to develop more courage if you are just not very courageous.

What stories have you made up and accepted that stop you from doing those deepest wishes you have had all your life. The world has had a lot to say about limiting beliefs, so let’s begin that journey:

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1. I first heard this expression in my Anam Cara, Emeli Paulo’s RAW workshop, always remember you are Enough.

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2. Remember when you used to believe in dragons and unicorns, what happened: Changing your Limits.

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3. When is that possible while I have all these things to do today, it’s a Nike situation, do it now!!

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4. There is that saying, whispering sweet nothings, Isn’t it time we changed nothing to something: Careless Whispers.

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5. You have to guess what some of these empowering beliefs are as you can not quite make them out, what do you think they are?

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6. While sitting alone on his cushion, Adyashanti had a classic kensho, or awakening experience, in which he “penetrated to the emptiness of all things and realized that the Buddha I had been chasing was what I was: Love No Limit.

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Where do you come on the scale, perhaps you discuss the non-real people our TV screens toss at us via reality TV every day.

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8. Didn’t all quite fit in, my vote is for Is no box: Little Boxes.

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9. I have many positive signs on my walls, hadn’t thought of using my clothesline.

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10. Bring on the Gorgeous for me, love the Gorgeous: Gorgeous.

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11. One step forward or one step back, just don’t stay stuck where you are for a very long period.

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12. Of course, Guatama had something to say about limiting Beliefs: An Unguarded Moment.

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13. And here are limited beliefs playmates that quell your happiness.

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14. I often dream of the South African plains and being a Lion: The Lion Sleeps Tonight.

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15. What would or could you do if you didn’t know it was impossible? I would make the world paradigm, Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included.

These quotes show exactly why it’s important to examine the Stories that we inherently assume to be true. You could ask if it’s possible to cjange your stories? The answer. I have known many people who have shown me it is possible to consciously choose another story. Consciously choosing your stories is a matter of where you  put your attention and what you decide to make things mean.

Music and words for today starts with some Wayne J. Dyer wisdom, followed by a fantastic George Michael anthem. Then a love song from Mary J. Blige and back in time to Pete Seeger. Then my favourite pop diva Taylor Swift, an iconic Aussie band, The Church many  of you willl not have heard of and finishing with a street Acapella ensemble, Alcapella Soul.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower

 

 

I didn’t change, I just found Myself!!


The title of this blog comes from one of the great musician/philosophers, Bob Marley. Today I would like to put lists within a list, one of them being quite long. They are the list of lessons for finding your strength in hard times. There are forty of them so it will take a while to ponder them all. They come from my friends Marc and Angel Chernoff, I have the honour of being a Facebook friend of Angel. here they are:

You are not what happened to you in the past, Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t. Struggling with problems is a natural part of growing. it’s OK to fall apart for a while. Life is fragile, sudden, and shorter than it often seems. You will fail sometimes. You have the capacity to create your own happiness. Emotionally separate yourself from your problems. Don’t make a problem bigger than it is. Everything that happens is a life lesson. View every challenge as an educational assignment. Things change, but the sun always rises the next day. Giving up and moving on are two very different things. Distance your self from negative people. Perfect relationships don’t exist. You must love yourself too. Don’t let others make decisions for you. Resentment hurts you, not them. You’re not alone. Everyone has problems. You still have a lot to be thankful for. Consciously nurture your inner hope. It’s better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie. It’s hard to tell how close you are to success. Not getting what you want can be a blessing. Laughter is the best medicine for stress. Mistake are important to make. Worrying is literally a waste of energy. Even when it’s hard to move, take small steps forward. There will always be people that dislike you. You are better off without some people you thought you needed. You are ONLY competing against yourself. You can’t control everything that happens to you. Life is NOT easy. Your future is spotless. You are not trapped: you just need to re-learn a few things. Everything in life is two-sided. You always have a choice. Let others in when you are in a dark place. If you ask negative questions, you will get negative answers and The end is a new beginning.

Pretty cool list. But I wish to ponder how society deals with our strengths, sometimes we have to go through a lot to realise them. It’s a common human frailty, a thing you will notice in the quotes I have chosen as examples, here we go:

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1. We all feel better in summer under the sun. Remember to use winter to recuperate and allow your inner strength to shine when it needs to.

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2. Reminds me of the last few kilometres of the first marathon I ever ran. I wondered why all the people around me were talking to themselves, and then realised I had said that out aloud: Not Afraid.

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3.  My name is Brigitte Nicole I am a writer, specifically quotes and self-help material. I dedicate myself to providing help through my writings to people who are struggling with life. My goal is for my page to revolve mine around my writings, which I fondly call “the art of words”, for I believe in the power of words to induce change personally and globally.

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4. Heart, mind and spirit. In the training program I am in called Warriors of Love it is your seed essence: Spirit Bird.

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5. Just your best, it may be as simple as sleeping all day some days.

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6. The day after mothers day, I am reminded of how my mother held on for three months without really eating at the end of her precious life. How much did we put our mothers through: Superwoman.

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7. You are here for your unique reason, some days you are closer to it than others.

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8. A bit like the perfect relationship does not exist, even the one with yourself. Remember to look beyond the imperfections: Perfect Day.

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9. The honour of not hiding your vulnerabilities anymore, your life empowered by the strength that is given to you by this not so simple action.

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10. I have been asked to list my perfect life several times, I always seem to leave out the pain that life included in its recipe, Oops: My Immortal.

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11. How many times have you been broken? Congratulations, you are still here, that strength within got you through, Yay!!

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12. There will always be things that happen in our lives that as young innocent children we could never imagine. Well done for still being here: Imagine.

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13. As a qualified proofreader, it amazes me that they can create these images and leave words out. But you get the drift without the to.

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14. Mahatma was a dude: Everybody Hurts.

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15. American-born author Aberjhani (born July 8, 1957, in Savannah, Georgia) is a historian, columnist, novelist, poet, and editor. Although well known for his blog articles on literature and politics, he is perhaps best known as co-author of Encyclopedia of the Harlem Renaissance and author of The River of Winged Dreams. The encyclopedia won a Choice Academic Title Award in 2004.

Everyone you meet, everything you encounter, etc. They’re all part of the learning experience we call ‘life’ Never forget to acknowledge the lesson, especially when things don’t go your way. if you don’t get a job you want or a relationship doesn’t work, it only means something better is out there waiting. And the lesson you just learned is the first step towards it.

The music today begins with some rap from Eminem, then the beautiful Spirit Bird from Xavier Rudd, followed by Alicia Keys anthem to women. Back to the 70’s with Lou Reed and Jools Holland, followed by a little bit of rock with Evanescence. Then hope for the world with John Lennon and finishing with the powerful pop divas, Kelly Clarkson and Pink.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower