Love Hurts!!!


Did you know love is not enough? I found that out in a sudden, dramatic way yesterday. I was travelling in our lockdown city of Melbourne to visit my supposed partner outside the 5-kilometre allowable zone when I rang her because she had written to me that she felt a bit down about her zoom visit to her psychologist. I rang her to find out what could I do for her, two hours later I was heading home and it was all over.

It was because I had agreed with her and allowed her space the night before and it seems I should not have listened to her and gone against her will and taken care of her. We had discussed this for an hour after I was halfway there and she told me she felt the most empowered she had ever felt. It seems that I am not enough to meet her needs. A day later I realise that I cannot be different from where I am at the moment. I can grow but cannot miraculously be different from where I am at the moment, so yes, Love hurts.

What does society say about the pain of unrequited love, lets have a look:

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1. I hope it finds this place soon.

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2. I forgot: Stronger.

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3. I found out the embrace of love is not enough.

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4. How will I get her out of my heart, it seems impossible at the moment, only time will tell: Love Hurts.

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5. Being in the same city doesn’t seem far enough, I cannot stop thinking of her.

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6. I’m crying typing this: When I Look at You.

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7. I wish you the best life.

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8. No words needed: Disappear.

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9. It’s storming in my heart.

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10. I mistakenly thought this was not us: Almost in Love.

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11. It seems this was not us.

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12. And not just of a sexual nature: Dreaming of You.

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13. I fear this.

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14. Thank you karma, you hurt: Instant Karma.

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15. and our final lesson comes from the Twitter personality Bauvard – A work of art should stand on its own, divorced from the personality of the creator. That is the only way the creator can be a work of art in himself.  

So what am I learning? Embrace that individual inside you who has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms. And above all, be true to you – if you cannot put your heart into it, take yourself out of it. Starting today…

1. Get your priorities right.

2. Take full responsibilities for your goals.

3. Know your worth.

4. Choose the right perspective.

5. Don’t let your old problems punish your dreams

6. Choose the things that truly matter.

7. Love You.

8. Accept your strengths and Weaknesses.

9. Stand up for You.

10. Learn from others, and move on when you must.

11. Be honest in your relationships.

12. get comfortable with being UNcomfortable.

13. Be who you were born to be.

14. Never give up on You.

The playlist today is a bit maudlin, we begin with Kayne West, go back to the 1970s to hear that song by Nazareth. The four pop divas: Miley Cyrus, Beyonce, Olivia O’Brien and Selena. We finish off with John Lennon: Love Hurts!!!

This will not stop me from spreading the ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. I have extended it to a million people in my new tribe: Thriving People.

Join if you wish. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

unrl16

 

 

 

What the Fuck is Intimacy, anyway?


I spent the day with the remarkable woman who has come into my life. In new relationships often the sexual side of it is what is most relevant, as the lust factor is high. The question I asked her before I went there last night was would she read me the bible, as she is a woman of faith. She agreed, and it didn’t happen as many other wonderful things did.

What is intimacy, anyway? Here is a shot at four different types:

  • Experiential Intimacy: When people bond during leisure activities. People may “sync up” their actions in teamwork or find themselves acting in unison.
    • Example: A father and son work together to build a model train, developing a rhythm to their teamwork.
  • Emotional Intimacy: When people feel safe sharing their feelings with each other, even uncomfortable ones.
    • Example: A woman confides in her sister about her body image issues. She trusts her sibling to offer comfort rather than using her insecurities against her.
  • Intellectual Intimacy: When people feel comfortable sharing ideas and opinions, even when they disagree.
    • Example: Two friends debate the meaning of life. They enjoy hearing each other’s opinions and don’t feel the need to “win” the argument.
  • Sexual Intimacy: When people engage in sensual or sexual activities. When people use the word “intimacy,” they are often referring to this type.
    • Example: Two lovers engage in foreplay, knowing how each other prefers to be touched.

So can you guess what we did? We did the dishes, set up a piece of furniture, discussed how we were feeling and why was, mainly me resisting being present to it, massaged each other, cleaned the stovetop and went for an hours walk. It was serene and magnificent in its intimacy.

How does the world relate to intimacy, lets walk down that road together:

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1. I met you six years ago. It was definitely worth the wait.

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2. When I reach this plateau, my body tingles all over: Soul Kind of Feeling.

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3. A writer of words, a poetic soul, an emotive expressionist, Ranata Suzuki is a poet and quote writer whose eloquent words form with painful clarity the sad yet beautiful world of the broken heart. An anonymous writer based in Sydney, Australia, Ranata is known only by her avatar of a bird carrying a book.

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4. How does the end of someone’s hair, become erotic. It’s easy in the land of intimacy: What Am I?

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5. I confess I have made those 3am texts.

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6. Especially now in lockdown in Melbourne, Australia we have to wear a mask when we leave the house: Bette Davis Eyes.

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7. When you get into this kind of intimacy sex feels redundant at times.

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8. Be weird with me, baby: Love is a Battlefield.

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9. We did this for part of our walk today.

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10. At times, I caught myself falling into hers when she looked back at me: Soul Man.

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11. And then there is the ultimate love, love of self.

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12.  I am actually feeling the I Love You’ in my heart, Yum: I Love You.

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13. And it takes work to achieve this state, AS Katie Byron says, time to do Te Work.

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14. Snap: Hurt.

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15. I took trust out of the picture, she told me to fuck off until I had got the cost of this in our relationship, lucky for me she has an awesome heart.

So I am on a journey of intimacy, perhaps for the first time truly in my 66-year-old life, it feels magnificent.

Today’s playlist begins with an Australian classic from the Dynamic Hepnotics, followed by Edie Bricknell and the New Bohemians. Two classic female rockers from last century are next, Kim Carnes and Pat Benetar. Sam and Dave then lay some funky R and B on us. We move back into the present with Billy Ellish and complete with the Man in Black, Johny Cash: What the Fuck is Intimacy, Anyway?

So the purpose of my ethos for the world: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included is to have more intimacy available in the world. Until we meet again my dear friends.

inti16

 

How Can You Mend A Broken Heart!!!


You may have noticed my past 5 blogs have been about growing friendship with my friend Amy. It moved quickly and then spectacularly into becoming lovers against all the reasons the world tells you that a friendship between two people 28 years apart in age should. Being used to a single life, where you domestic actions didn’t have a lot of repercussions to being in a partnership saw me totally do some things that have unfortunately taken it from you are the greatest lover I have ever had and talk about moving in together to stop treating me like I am your mother in a period just greater than 24 hours.

Did we really love each other, yes we did, but I allowed my actions to move our relationship from our hearts to her head. I sit here writing this close to tears and I have cried about ten times in my 66 years, my parents once sent me to a phycologist to see why I couldn’t during my teenage years, it didn’t resolve anything and I am still a non-crier basically. The only thing that shifted it was the joy I felt in my love for Amy, I would be sitting on a railway station and feel tears of joy welling up, very un Rod Williams like.

My relationship consultant friend who is also a phycologist advised that we should not contact each other for 30 days as to go from the passion of a ten to the lesser feelings of friendship, say a three to a five we had to journey through our grief and sadness at to what we had lost, as moments this sacred are rare in people’s lives. I fight with the urge daily to break this especially when Amy contacted me. I wanted to write platitudes how I would do anything to get back together, but this is the act of 17-year-old first love. I must admit after 12 years it did feel a bit like this for me.

I realise I could write 1,000s of words what this woman means to me, I will journal them later, so what has the world said about relationship breakdowns and broken hearts over the years. Let’s have a look:

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1. Oh, how I wished I could have stopped this occurring.

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2. Oh, how my heart yearns for this: How Can You Mend A Broken Heart.

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3. I love His Holiness quotes, but my heart does not want to agree with this one at all.

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4. Crossed fingers, but it fucking hurts so much at the moment: Don’t Judge Me.

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5. One of the things I did not do was break glass but forgetting to thank her most of the time was just as devastating.

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6. And to me, it is you: My Immortal.

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7. I am feeling this more and more as the pain slides away.

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8. I am not ready for Amy to do that yet, I may not be responsible for my reaction in the emotional state I am in at the present: Run Through The Jungle.

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9. This hurts in the I still love her zone.

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10. I was the storm: Riders On The Storm.

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11. I didn’t really do the second thing or did I, she has gone.

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12. I lost in the first round: Street Fighting Man.

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13. Ken oath.

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14. We talked about our families a lot: We are Family.

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15 And for our final lesson, well said Trent.

I spoke to a friend halfway through writing this for half an hour because I believe she has wisdom in this area. She advised me three things: 1. Take ownership for your part of the breakdown and look for the red flags that were there for it to happen. 2. Make agreements, keep them. If you are going to break them, communicate, communicate, communicate. 3. Take time to heal before you think about going back there, and do this day by day.

I am just doing these things now.

The playlist today is funk and rock and roll, we begin with the title track by The Bee Gees, then Chris Brown. Evanescence sneaks in this century’s rock track, then we go back in time to CCR, The Doors and the Rolling Stones. We complete with a ten minute epic by Chic and Sister Sledge, enjoy, it rocks: How can you mend a Broken Heart!!!

In my heartbreak, I have started a new tribe around my ethos Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. It is called Thriving People – People who wish to make a difference to Humanity, my intention is a 1,000,000 people take up the challenge, here is the link to join, I would love you too: Thriving People.

Until we meet again my dear friends.

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You Know, It’s Never to Late!!!


Twelve years ago, after an emotionally abusive long term relationship I decided subconsciously I would never put myself through that again and chose the Life of Being single. I started doing personal development stuff and looked at different issues over the years, this one seemed to slip through to the keeper. Then I met a woman at Mojo. The first time we eye gazed for twenty minutes, the second time we screamed at each other for ten.

I didn’t know what to do, as a single man she could have asked me to fuck her on the dance floor and I probably would have said no. So I spoke to my mentor, who unpacked my single man decision. We then went through an exercise imagining her walk through the door and to see how close she could get to me. Not really close at all at first, just a few steps into the room. Many sessions later, it allowed me to be standing next to her with her in my arms. Nothing happened with this woman, because I was ages away from breaking the single man mould.

Two years later and several failed attempts by women, I have the honour to be in a relationship with a woman I had known six years. She is brave, confronting, loving and willing to go the whole nine yards to make it work. At times I am shit scared that it will not work out again and at other times there is so much ecstasy surging through my body I feel that I will implode.

So what has the human race said about love relationships, lets have a look:

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1. Everything, my beauty. Not some of it, the fear, the scared little girl, the raging anger, the hurt, all of it.

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2. What is the name of your street? Mine is Ecstacy Street: Love Street.

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3. Was I in love before that totally unexpected phone call, maybe?

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4. This is the final destination I seek: That’s What Friends Are For.

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5. I cannot put this into actual words, its a feeling.

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6. No words and I am a wordsmith: Your Smile.

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7. And see you and have you grow side by side.

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8. I love it that you love God, Beauty: Love Of My Life.

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9. Sound familiar?

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10. I hand these to you willingly, beauty: Somebody to Love.

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11. Even when my scared little boy identity fucks up and makes your heart ache, I remember your orgasmic smile.

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12. Helen Keller, blind and deaf: Insightfully speaking the truth: You’re Beautiful.

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13. What exactly is need?

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14. Truth 101: I Love You.

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15. And in the final lesson for this blog, I plead guilty as charged.

The title of this blog was meant to contain the word’s, Lost Life Opportunities as well. Why is this relevant? I reached Age Pension age, 66, one week ago. It is never ever too late. I must mention my life ethos of Love and Respect, Everyone Included. But I will finish with a question, what is going on that humanity trains our hearts to not trust they can be totally loved?

The playlist of love songs starts with The Doors, then the soulful Dionne Warwick and friends, also Rene and Angela.. next, Queen by two.  The penultimate song is by James Blunt and we complete with the one-hit wonders from the sixties, The Volumes: You Know, It’s Never to Late!!!

Until we meet again, my dear friends.

Is it for Life?


The joy of a new relationship!!! At the tender age of 65 one has entered my life. This one is special, sacred, even. Based on the premises of interpersonal therapy, it is about discovering your deeply held feelings, not the shallow on top immediate throwaway lines our identity serves up to protect us from really looking at what is going on for one.

I am naff at being with my anger with others, especially when I am angry with my new partner, I throw up frustration and sadness as my defences, seemingly unwilling to walk the depths of my anger, which makes her angrier with my seeming ineptness to journey in that particular area. We speak for hours at a time each day and go from deep love to telling each other to fuck off and never to speak to each other again. It is a mighty journey and warms my heart to the depth of my soul.

So why are I and so many people on the planet afraid of expressing their anger, which I am discovering more and more is healthy for one? What has the human race said about expressing anger over the years, here are a few of my favourite things:

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1. The simplicity of saying I feel angry and sitting with it and not making it go away instantly is a skill I am getting better at day by day.

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2. His holiness, a man who is depicted as never getting angry, has these wise words on the subject: His Holiness on Anger.

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3. And that patience is willing to stand in the anger and resolve what is causing it.

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4. Pushed down, this is what anger can cause in your body: Lose Yourself.

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5. Anger is where all the things hangout.

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6. Interpersonal Therapy is not easy but practised well, it is transformational: Dark Horse.

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7. As necessary as eating breakfast.

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8. And withholding and not growing in each moment, each interaction is not: Rolling In The Deep.

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9. Mine surfaces as pain and a headache across the front of my head.

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10. Amy is very skilled at this: Man Down.

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11. This is one of my faults in being with anger, I am cruel to myself a lot.

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12. And one way of doing this that. is very powerful is to sit inside the anger: Not Afraid.

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13. The power of working through feelings so there is growth from an interaction is extraordinary.

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14. And from the founder of Buddhism, comes this pearl: I’m Ready.

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15. And for our final lesson, we return to the Buddha again with a different but similar message.

Is it worth facing my anger to grow into the space that I feel is available in this relationship? I have never been more certain of something in my life. Will there be pain, yes. Will, there be joy at the breakthroughs, yes, and will there be suppressed anger rising to the surface, fuck yes.

The playlist begins with His Holiness, followed by Eminem. Three pop divas follow: Katie Perry, Adele and Rhianna. Back to Eminem and we finish the set with Sam Smith: Is it for Life?

We discussed what our passions were yesterday. What clearly came to the surface was that I am never going to fulfil my dreams of having the ethos: Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included whilst I am suppressing my anger in the world. Until we met again my dear friends.

ang16

 

Let Go, Let God!!!


I went to Zoom church today, they certainly sing groovier songs than they used to in the days my parents forced me to Sunday school all those years ago. An aside, when I was sixteen I told my mum is she kept making me go I would run away and never come back. She reminded me twenty years later I had said that to her, I had forgotten but it obviously meant a lot and hurt my deeply religious mum.

I personally don’t believe in the God that is presented by the standard Christian church, hell and brimstone etc. etc. but it was interesting viewing, my friend has asked me would I watch it with her as God means a lot to her. The distinctions they used were a lot different from what I expected and I found myself agreeing with quite a bit of the sermon. I am more of a humanist than a Christian, believing in that there are more good people than evil people on the planet and that good, will overcome in the end.

So what have people said about God, even the Gods over Millenium, lets have a look:

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1. Not famous enough for a Wikipedia entry, Michelle makes a simple point.

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2. Satisfaction guaranteed: I Surrender.

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3. From little things big faith grows.

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4. God is not all love and light, stop thinking he is: Yes, I Know.

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5. Interesting quote by an F1 racing world champion.

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6. Remember its his/her process. You are just along for the ride: Waymaker.

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7. We are just walking home together.

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8. Grammar alert: Your Spirit.

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9. How do you live in the space of faith?

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10. And you may never understand it: “Babusisiwe Labo Abemukela Umsebenzi KaNkulunkulu Omusha”

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11. The cute quote of the blog.

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12. The purpose of faith is to lift you up: My Life is in your Hands.

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13. Nobody will open it for you, Nobody…

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14. I love that saying, It sounds like a plan: You Say.

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15. Thank you God for putting Amy in my life.

I thought I would end this blog with a poem by Rilke, it is magnificent:

God speaks to each of us
Rainer Maria Rilke

God speaks to each of us as he makes us,

then walks with us silently out of the night.

These are words we dimly hear:

You, sent out beyond your recall,

go to the limits of your longing.

Embody me.

Flare up like flame

and make big shadows I can move in.

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.

Just keep going. No feeling is final.

Don’t let yourself lose me.

Nearby is the country they call life.

You will know it by its seriousness.

Give me your hand.

 

From Rilke’s Book of Hours: Love Poems to God, translated by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy.

If you had told me I would include a Hillsong Church song in one of my playlists I may have chortled loudly, but I have changed in the last  month. We begin with Hillsong Worship, then the Gaither Vocal Band. Two fine female singers next in Sinak and Tasha Cobbs Leonard. Then we travel to South Africa for some Zulu Gospel. Kirk Franklin is the penultimate song and we finish with Lauren Daigle: Let Go, Let God.

You will love this playlist, Amy. I feel so much closer to my ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included since I have been around a person of faith. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

god16

 

Are you present , or in your head?


I recently invited a dear friend over for dinner, the second person besides my family I have had in my home in 6 and a half years. To say  I was excited is an understatement and I was thinking about how I could make the night perfect. That was where I made my blunder, I was in my head about it most of the night and not very present at all. Surprisingly my friend did not say anything directly at the time but let me know later that I had been mostly not present for her the whole time.

I have spent most of my adult life trying to work things out in my head and now have the opportunity to do it from and open up my heart. When she asks me what are you feeling I have to fight the urge to look in my head for the answer and feel into my heart also not to tell a story from my past or speculate on the future, but to be in the present or as Eckhart Tolle tells us, The Power of Now. It is a journey that we have agreed to take together to deepen our friendship.

Friendship, what has the universe said about that over the years, lets have a look:

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1. Christie Brinkley is an American model, actress, and entrepreneur. Brinkley gained worldwide fame with her appearances in the late 1970s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues, ultimately appearing on an unprecedented three consecutive covers starting in 1979. 

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2. The letters IM drop out of your life when everything becomes possible: Signed, Sealed, Delivered.

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3. They exist in that part of your heart that says, we will always be friends.

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4. Do you wait?: A Song for You.

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5. One is the most powerful number.

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6. True friends are cemented together at the heart: That’s What Friends are For.

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7. These are the people who where 5 years apart feels like 5 minutes when you meet.

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8. They light the way and you need to no longer be afraid of the dark: I will Always Love You.

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9. The Bible has some good stuff in it.

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10. I have several of the atter family in my life, I love them: We are Family.

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11. And you must keep proving it day to day if the friendship is to grow.

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12. Disturb them with the question, what are you feeling?: Endless Love.

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13. Like I will honour and love you, just as strong a promise.

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14. My heart shuddered reading this one: Baby Please Don’t Go.

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15. And for our final lesson today, the most profound statement of the blog, Hahaha.

So I am finishing this at 10.50 pm at night because I have spent many hours deepening our friendship over the past two days. It was joyous, confronting and loving and all the things in between. is it worth it, Fuck Yes!!!

The playlist tonight is dedicated to the BLM movement. Firstly Stevie Wonder leads off, following by the little known vocal genius Donny Hathaway. Dionne Warwick and her friends then hit the stage, handing it over to Whitney Houston. Chic and Sister Sledge then occupy the stage for a while, making way for Luther Vandross and Mariah Carey and we finish with a rocking tune by Muddy Waters and the Stones: Are you Present or in Your Head?

How changing is this journey of deep friendship I am taking? I intend that it transform my relationship to what friendship means and that my heart will be truly opened for the first time in my life. We have just begun but I am so more in touch with my world ethos of Love and Respect for all, Everyone Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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P.S. This one is for you, Amy.

Who Really, Really knows you?


I was asked this question by a friend today when I looked I said my sisters Ruth and Jann. Amy then asked me what about your friends, I have 5000 Facebook friends and I would say one of them, my long time friend Clare who helped me through my recent mental health breakdown would be the closest. What is it that stops the human race letting people get close to them? I have an idea, I believe we stop telling each other what I call our Sacred Love Stories at an early age for fear of being hurt. These are the negative and positive stories about ourselves that go like this: If you knew this about me I would have to kill you and I am not boasting, I really went through or did this. I designed a workshop around the chakras using that technology but my if you knew this about me I would have to kill you got in the way of me ever running it.

What does it take to totally trust someone to be authentic and not withhold anything? I am learning how to do this and acknowledge Amy, who is allowing me to go on this journey with her. So what has society said about knowing the real you, lets have a look:

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1. Dale Evans Rogers (born Lucille Wood Smith; October 31, 1912 – February 7, 2001) was an American actress, singer, and songwriter. She was the third wife of singing cowboy Roy Rogers.

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2. I have been being taught this powerfully over the last week: You Really Got Me.

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3. Very relatable.

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4. And that the stories you make up in your head about the people in your life are not true until you get to deeply know them: Say It Right.

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5. Boom!!!

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6. Prayer is such a powerful healing tool: Praying.

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7. Warts and All comes to mind.

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8. And in front of the L-word do not forget to put the Self word: Rainbow.

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9. I think she is.

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10.. The whole kit and caboodle, that’s true love: Who You Are.

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11. I have found out lately I do this most of my waking moments.

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12. Another form of insomnia: You are the Reason.

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13. My new life contract.

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14. From one of civilisation’s great thinkers, This: Love Myself.

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15. And for our final lesson, we cross to Socrates best buddy, Plato.

No list as promised, Amy, just a deep sense of gratitude for your listening for me.

The playlist begins with a 60’s classic from The Kinks. Then we delve into pop diva land for the next four tracks: Nelly Furtado, Kesha twice and Jessie J. Over to C & W for the next track from Callum Scott and we complete with my most played song by Hailee Steinfeld: Who Really Really Knows You.

Another recent question has come to mind writing this, what would you say if you could say one thing to the world leaders, of course, Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included.

Until we meet again, my dear friends.

try16

 

 

Are you Enough?


How often have you asked yourself this question? They say that you make your prime decision about your life by the age of seven years old, then spend the rest of your life surviving it via therapy or being in the winner’s circle.

Over to my friend Marc Chernoff to provide a list that will support us in this area. It is called 12 choices your future self will thank you for:

When life pushes you over, stand up and push back even harder, when there is a fork in the road and choices to make, make the ones your future self will thank you for:

1. Choosing you – The most exhausting activity is pretending to be who you know you aren’t.

2. Appreciating what you have – Sometimes, when you make the most out of what you have, it turns out to be a lot more than you ever imagined.

3. Believing in yourself and your dreams – Believe in you. Listen to your soul.

4, Being positive – You can’t live a positive life with a negative attitude.

5. Taking action – The happiest and most successful people are usually those who have broken the chains of procrastination.

6. Letting Go – The biggest step in changing the world around you is to change the world within you.

7. Picking yourself back up – Sometimes when things go wrong it’s because they would have turned out worse if they had gone right.

8. Ignoring negative people – You are not a rug; some people may try to walk all over you, but you don’t have to lie there and take it.

9. Staying in touch with close friends and family – There comes a time in life you’ll have to leave everything behind for a while and start something new, but never forget the people who stood by your side.

10. Making time for fun – Fun is way underrated.

11. Spreading Love and Kindness – The happiness surrounding you is greatly affected by the choices you make every day.

12. Being the change you want to see in the world – Don’t tell others how to live; live and let them watch you.

So what has the human race said about being enough, let’s have a look

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1. Three powerful statements on self love there.

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2. Love the last line: Never Stop.

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3. Time to break down the walls.

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4. And to stop pretending: Worth It.

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5. Read the handwriting.

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6. Having these in your heart definitely brings out the strength in you: You Say.

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7. What a great name: Badass Warrior Queen.

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8. I love memes with hearts in them: Fight Song.

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9. Some powerful I statements here.

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10. Some great words from our curly-haired genius: Somewhere over the Rainbow.

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11. What are your personal avatars?

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12. All hail Brene: Love Myself.

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13. That why all the good books say self-love first and foremost.

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14. These boots are made for walking: Boots.

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15. And the last offering comes from the cardigan-wearing one, Eckhart Tolle reminding us of the treasure we all have within:

So choose to spread love to one person a day, beginning with yourself would be a grand idea. Imagine the amount of happiness you can spread in a lifetime, day by day.

Today on the playlist we have an all-women lineup. We have something for the young and not so young. Two bands unknown to me start us off. The Brand New Heavies and Fifth Harmony, both have millions of followers. Lauren Daigle and Rachel Platten belt out a couple of anthems next. Then back in time to Judy Garland, the penultimate number is from Hailee Steinfeld and we finish with Nancy Sinatra: Are You Enough?

This actually is take two of this blog, I got one quote from the end and poof, it disappeared. But I had to mention my ethos, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included and my ever-growing Facebook group calledInterculturalism. We would love you to join us to spread love and respect around the planet.

Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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Tough Times Never Last, Tough People Do!!!


So, I promised a friend I would write this blog about how I was feeling, my identity is resisting it because I am not feeling full of possibility, I spoke to my mentor about it and he pointed out that the only way out of it was in. So here goes.

I feel stuck as I am basically doing what I was two to three years ago and my soul feels there is meant to be more to life than that. I went to one of my sources of inspiration, my friend Marc Chernoff and found an article 16 Harsh Truths That Make You Stronger. This is the shortened version of how it goes:

It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than dominate them, more manhood or womanhood to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind -Alex Karras.

1. Life is not easy. Hard work makes people lucky – It’s the stuff that brings dreams to reality.

2. You will fail sometimes – The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant.

3. Right now, there’s a lot you don’t know – the day you stop learning is the day you stop living.

4. There may not be a tomorrow – Not for everyone.

5. There’s a lot you can’t control – You can’t control everything in your life no matter how many safeguards you put into place.

6. Information is not true knowledge – Knowledge comes from experience.

7. You can’t be successful without providing value -Don’t waste your time trying to be successful, spend your time creating value.

8. Someone else will always have more than you – Whether it’s money, friends or magic beans that you’re collecting, there will always be somebody who has more than you.

9. You can’t change the past – You can’t change what happened, but you can change how you react to it.

10. The only person who can make you happy is you – The root of your happiness comes from your relationship with yourself.

11. There will always be people who don’t like you – You can’t be everything to everyone.

12. You won’t always get what you want – Appreciate the things you have right now. Many people aren’t so lucky.

13. In life, you get what you put in – If you want love, friends, give love, be friendly.

14. Good friends will come and go – Most of your high school friends won’t be part of your Uni life.

15. Doing the same exact thing every day hinders self-growth – If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.

16. You will never feel 100% ready for something new – Nobody ever feels 00% ready when an opportunity arises.

Typing number 15 made me shudder, I have been in this rut for at least a week and keep telling my self I do not know the way out, which I know not to be true. So what does the world say about being in a rut and its effect on one, lets have a look:

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1. I recommenced my daily walks today and am attended a Warrior Code session tonight, they are designed to shake you up.

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2. I’ve set up a dinner with my siblings, they definitely do this: Glad To Be Alive.

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3. Much to much comfort, why do I feel so bad then?

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4. Take a dose, and the medicine goes down: A Spoonful of Sugar.

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5. It’s how you relate to it that gives it the wonder.

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6. It’s not always a win/win situation, how would we learn if it was: Seven Years.

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7. It’s difficult to be what you are not.

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8. At the top of my list at the moment: Rut.

9. Enoch Arnold Bennett was an English writer of the late 19th and early 20th centuries. He is best known as a novelist, but he also worked in other fields such as the theatre, journalism, propaganda and films.

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10. I’m taking up the invitation: Grow As We Go.

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11. Time for some explanation.

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12. Time to stop waiting to be rescued and found: Who You Are.

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13. Shayne’s Pinterest bio reads Author and Always the Good Girl. A firm believer in happy endings. Refuse to let your past define you. Be strong, take control, change your life.

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14. Including yourself: Rise Up.

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15. And our final lesson comes from running coach Ben Rosario, that it is the journey to your goals and dreams that got you there, so remember to have fun.

To me, the only difference between an opportunity and an obstacle is attitude. Getting a second chance in life is about giving myself the opportunity to grow beyond my past failures, It’s time to positively adjust my attitude toward future possibilities.

The playlist starts with some healing medicine from Teddy Prendergast and Marry Poppins. Then there are three pensive tracks from Lukas Graham, The Killers and Ben Platt. The penultimate track is Jessie J and we complete with some soul from Andra Day: Tough Times Never Last, Tough People Do.

So being in touch with my ethos for the world: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included on a daily basis is the practice I will choose to climb out of this rut. Until we meet again my dear friends.

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