Two weeks ago I did a course called Awakening Women for Men led by three of my friends, Alley, Shaney and Jared, for some reason I like befriending the leaders more than the participants. An exciting occurrence after having done this course my other women friends are very interested in what were we taught, something like, did they give our secrets away.

I shared in a non-revealing way one of the processes called opening the veil and that women like men being in control in certain situations that invoke the mature masculine in men. One of my friends who asked is my acupuncturist and as I lay there with my needles on board this came to me:

Say I had walked in the door and our eyes crossed, and I said beautiful one, I want to go out with you, by the way, I recently broke up with Julie a month ago. I would know when I am projecting Julie onto you when I am actually with you, It would give us a chance to create something new and magical, my friend shuddered.

Move on ten days, The woman who I did my first ever retreat with was in town, Tanishka Tantrika. It was back in December 2013 and called Rainbow Bridge 13:13:13. It’s another story how I got there but I gave up my what is this woo woo and trusted my friend who recommended I go. Tanishka was running a Sacred Union ritual with her new partner to heal the break between the divine masculine and divine feminine. The closing circle where 19 men and 19 women stated how they had betrayed the union between the two and the ceremony of forgiveness by washing them away while chanting I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You, I love You, an ancient Hawaiin chant will remain in my heart for the rest of my life.

So, how do we restore trust and what have we written about it over the centuries: let’s party.

1. It’s the actions that buy back the trust. Having sold 10 million books on the subject, Dr Clouds actions lie in homelessness in the inner city, as well as missions in the developing world.

2. I think my friends name for working with Anger: Reclaiming Anger speaks volumes as to who the person suffering is: Hold On I’m Coming.

3. From the worlds greatest quote writer, Ms Unknown, this one bites home.

4. How many times have you broken this trust in your life, you may even do it to yourself: Trust.

5. Heartbreak Hotel came to my mind, not a song track though.

6. You will be able to fire your Fortune Teller: Fortune Teller.

7. A vital part of the recipe.

8. Trust trumps Love: does it in your life: Nothing Else Matters.

9. Shadow and Light, they travel together.

10. Hate is the most dangerous form of Anger, it belittles our soul so much, but at times the last line speaks volumes: Part of Me.

11. One for the inner work.

12. What you serve up in life, that’s how much you are capable of receiving back: When You’re Gone.

13. I have a friend who did not speak to her parents for 13 years when she forgave them and reconnected they did not even remember the incident, please do not do this to yourself.

14. Three letters. MLK: New Attitude.

15. And the reason I chose this for our final lesson, I so love the image.

According to Nietzsche, to wish away our past is to wish ourselves out of existence. It’s nearly impossible to steer our lives in a particular direction until we come to terms with our past. Each significant event in our lives changes how we view the world and ourselves. The thought of reviewing our entire past is often overwhelming. But it an essential part of the process. Our past is a blessing that guides and teaches, and it carries as many positives as negatives. Will I be able to not project as much, we shall see, but it feels fucking magnificent.

The playlist goes nearly as far back as my year of birth, 1954. We begin with Sam and Dave, move forward to Christina Perri. Bounce back with early Rolling Stones, then rock it out with Metallica. Three superb women finish it off, all from different eras, Kate Perry, Avril Lavigne and to finish Patti Labelle: I’m a Good Enough Person to Forgive You, But.

So we will finish with the ho’oponopono mantra to presence Love and Respect For All, Everybody Included. Until next time, my dear friends.