Intimacy is Into Me See!!


What is true intimacy? This is a question and a state of play I have been exploring for the last three years. Admittedly I am coming from a very low base. I have found one of the things that most gets in my way is when I come from I think I know what intimacy is. All those memes, books and audios on finding your true soulmate have begun to confuse me, how she should look, how old she should be, what sexual predications she prefers, does she have or want children, etc., etc. etc.

I make chai at a dance called Mojo, The Dance of Connection, It is a truly sacred place where most of the angst that society attaches to intimacy disappears over the duration of the night. One night I looked out over the dancefloor late into the night, and a sense of sadness came across me because I realised that over 50 per cent of these beautiful souls would go home alone. The expression Sacred Love Letters passed through me. I had no idea what that meant.

Over the next two weeks, I had many thoughts to what it could mean. This is what I came up with. Here we go: As we get older we are trained to not share our intimate moments, being told that it is not safe to reveal our greatest secrets. What does this lead to: Three facts, the divorce rate, average length of relationships 18 to 25: six months and the proliferation of dating apps with their dick picture postings.

So this workshop idea came through, its called The Sacred Love Stories workshop and the premise is that for each chakra you tell your, “If they ever knew that about me, they would never talk to me again story as well as your: Yes I actually did this, and I am not boasting story”. The premise is in doing it with people you might not know as well as your intimate beloved people there will be not as much as a charge and it will move you down the path to doing it with your beloveds.

I have not had the gonads to actually run it yet, but have a list of people I have to contact when I do. Its very close.

So what does society say about intimacy? There are lots of beautiful quotes on the subject, here are some of my favourites:

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1. I recently discovered that the person I hold in my heart does not feel the same way, surprisingly, in letting her go, I had the most erotic dance with her I have ever had in my life on Saturday night.

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2. Would you get an A-plus or an F: Hold My Hand.

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3. This is what I did the first night I put the women I mentioned in my heart.

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4. So who of my readers have heard of the 70’s group the Seekers: A World of our Own.

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5. Can’t read the authors name, but more Eye Gazing.

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6. Kiara was born in Barquisimeto, Venezuela. She took her first steps into the entertainment world when she joined her school choir but, because of her distinctive, powerful voice, the rest of the members didn’t feel she blended in well and wasn’t allowed to stay in their musical ensemble. Seven best selling albums later, she sort of proved them wrong: Liberame.

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7. Jim Carrey, Fear and Love, Google It.

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8. Mazlo missed this one: All of Me.

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9. One day we meet the one we never get over and then we know why all the others did not work out.

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10. You look across the room, and their weird says, Thank god I finally found you, game over: Sweet but Psycho.

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11. I love the saying it’s easy to get a kiss, not that hard to have sex, but finding the one who touches your heart and warms your soul, that’s hard shit.

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12. Rollo Reese May was an American existential psychologist and author of the influential book Love and Will (1969). He is often associated with humanistic psychology, existentialist philosophy and, alongside Viktor Frankl, was a major proponent of existential psychotherapy: Hope.

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13. Sometimes its not about the jiggy thing.

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14. Break down the wall that prevents you from having intimacy in your life: The Mystical Power of Intimate Relationships.

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15. And for our final lesson, a reminder that the intimacy must begin with ourselves.

So my breakthrough has come by being curious about it and checking with my heart, and not the memories in my head of my past failures. Would you like to be added to the Workshop waiting list? I promise it will happen this year.

Today’s playlist covers 5 decades and three countries. It begins with the County superstar, Jess Glynne. Then a blast from the past, the most popular 70’s Aussie band, The Seekers. We cross the ocean to Venezuela to hear Kiara. The smooth John Legend follows, then the quirky Ava Max. Pop diva Natasha Bedingfield sings a song of Hope and we finish with some spoken word from Marianne Williamson:Intimacy Into me See

As well as intimacy in my life I also wish for the community paradigm to be Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until we meet again my dear friends.

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If you Haven’t grown up by 50, You Don’t Have To!!


Birthdays, we have one every year, I have had 64 of them, something I did not expect to happen in my earlier wild, lost years. We are sort of given a list we are meant to fulfil by our parents: The partner, the kids, the house etc. etc. – I have failed dismally in adding a tick next to these particular things. Instead, I have my conscious community of friends, wild adventures like attending Confest, dancing regularly every week and making chai for two of the dances.

I am at that time in my life that I hear and read about aging gracefully, Fuck That – Its time to party and experience and provide all the things that our community offers and needs us to share our gifts with them. I was having such a conversation with two amazing women at a friends birthday who had broken the mould as well. On our journeys, we tend to find each other over time, firstly we must make some mistakes on the way but our passion and purpose finally get us there.

What does society say about aging with passion, here are a few of my favourite things:

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1. Taken to the extreme in one of my all-time favourite movies, Scarface.

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2. Especially if you suffered the same fate as the author of this quote, they shot him: My Baby Shot Me Down.

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3. This looks like a good read, great title.

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4. Fever means something different to those with passion in their bones: Fever.

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5. Takes something to get here, but Fuck, Yes.

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6. Marie Dressler was a Canadian-American stage and screen actress, comedian, and early silent film and Depression-era film star. Successful on stage in vaudeville and comic operas, she was also successful in film. In 1914, she was in the first full-length film comedy. She won the Academy Award for Best Actress in 1931. A career that rose and fell only to rise again because she did not buy the I am too old bullshit: Fly Me To The Moon.

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7. Who wants to keep making those stupid societal errors anyway.

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8. And they all came to celebrate my friend Jules at Naked for Satan on Sunday: That’s What Friends are For.

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9. Hail the enthusiastic ones.

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10. In 1970, after stepping down as NOW’s first president, Friedan organized the nationwide Women’s Strike for Equality on August 26, the 50th anniversary of the Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution granting women the right to vote. The national strike was successful beyond expectations in broadening the feminist movement; the march led by Friedan in New York City alone attracted over 50,000 people. Betty was 49 at the time: I Feel Shitty

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11. Birthday today, time to break the rules.

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12. Not just a presidents wife, one rocking mama: Hello.

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13. Pick your favourite.

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14. If you do this properly, dementia will never be a thing: In My Life.

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15. For the final lesson, the first words are cut off, they are not really needed.

There are many ways to live ones live, your soul knows what is best for you.

Jules, the playlist is for you, Seven amazing female divas. Nancy Sinatra begins the journey followed by Peggy Lee. Dianne Krall and Dionne Warwick produce two absolute classics followed by the quirky Jane Friedman who you will not have heard of. The letter A features in the last two tracks with Adele and Allison Crowe. Jules, I expect to hear some of these at your next gig with Austin: If you Haven’t grown up by 50, You Don’t Have To!!

My life is dedicated to Love and Respect For All, Everybody Included no matter what your age, Until next time, my dear friends.

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Freedom is a State of Mind!!


Going off the grid for 5 days from 6AM tomorrow morning, off to Confest for the first time in 30 years with two of my friends who are Confest virgins. A little about the festival: ConFest (Conference/Festival) is a gathering of people wishing to share talents, skills, ideas, concerns and philosophies in a caring fun loving and tolerant atmosphere. The presentation of workshops, demonstrations, entertainments and the maintenance of site facilities are all performed by volunteers, monetary payment is neither accepted nor made.

At ConFest, people often set up villages with differing themes. ConFest is a clothing optional space, this means ConFesters can wear, or not wear anything they chose. Everywhere at ConFest is clothes optional. Don’t be surprised to have a naked ticket collector when you arrive at the ConFest gate. Clothing can range from nothing to body paint, a coat of mud, a sheet, a fairy costume, even a ball gown or dinner suit. At ConFest, clothing is not gendered specific. There is just one simple rule, respect other ConFester’s choices. A long-running and very popular ConFest tradition is the communal artist’s studio. Activities include body and sign painting, life drawing, clay work, organic art, photography etc. Artists, models and workshop facilitators are always welcome.

I am looking forward to returning, last time I went it was around 1,000 people, it is now over 6,000. How do 6,000 people express their own individual shades of freedom? Then, how does society comment on personal freedom, let’s have a look:

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1. I love that saying, there is only climbing.

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2. Its all in the air: The Air that I Breathe.

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3. Thucydides has been called the father of the school of political realism, which views the political behaviour of individuals and the subsequent outcomes of relations between states as ultimately mediated by and constructed upon the emotions of fear and self-interest.

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4. You got to fight for the right to…: You’ve got to Fight…

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5. Mail, Key, Bike, etc. etc. etc.

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6. There are rules that you are not meant to follow in your life, they are your bullshit rules: Nkosi Sikilel iAfrika.

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7. The next step after freedom.

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8. I . have met many of these fine people in the past six years of my healing journey, far too many to mention, you know who you are, Thank you: Love Street.

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9. It travels hand in hand with integrity.

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10. Nothing, Nada, No way, Fuck Off: No Way, Get Fucked, Fuck Off.

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11. One word – Rumi!!

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12. It may be known as Nirvana: Come as You Are.

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13. Ask, expect. depend: Cry Freedom.

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14. The curly haired eccentric one knows how to say it: Believe.

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15. And our final lesson, two words: Fuck Yes.

What workshops will I do, they go all day supposedly. I will do ones that touch my heart.

Today’s playlist is great. A classic from The Hollies, The Beastie Boys next imploring you to …, A stirring National Anthem is thrown in next. Three of my faves from different eras, The Doors, The Angels from OZ, finishing with Nirvana. Mumford and Sons close it out with a plea to our senses: Freedom is a State of Mind.

Freedom to me would be the world living from Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until we meet again on the other side, my dear friends.

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We Make A Life By What We Give!!


What am I feeling? I am feeling pride in the 200 men I spent a day with at the Island of Men who had gathered to take a stand for we were in it together to become better men for each other, our families and friends, lovers and children. The day consisted of ceremonies and about twenty workshops on a wide range of subjects that could achieve the stated intention. The following poem was written by my mentor Arion about the day, it sums up what happened pretty damn well. Here is a link to his work: Living As Essence.

Men. When you take off your mask.
You break my heart, in every way. 
You share wisdom beyond your years
And unbearable trauma under that smile

Men, when you take off the mask
You show me bone-deep loneliness
No longer covered by the effort of living
And you break my heart, again

Men, when your mask falls away
I see tender beauty 
And breathtaking kindness 
That shatters all I knew, as you

Men, without masks 
I love you, I see you 
I see the depth of your feeling 
And the burden of keeping it down

Men free from masks 
I see your tears and tenderness 
And your ache to love and be loved
I see your true power stirring

Let celebrate all that is behind that mask 
In you, me and all of us 
Let’s start a rebellion 
Where we wear the masks no more

Let us cry in each other’s arms
Then build a new world, together
A world that bows to tenderness
In every living thing

Let us break our hearts together 
In our beauty and our pain 
I love you, I love me 
Let’s take this love, to the world.

So what has the world said about the power of community, here are a few of my favourites:

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1. We attended a magnificent event and are setting up structures so that we can fulfil the third stanza.

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2. There will be Shadow and Light moments on our journeys, but as it says when it’s hard, We’re In This Together: Let’s Stick Together.

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3. But due to all of us, the vulnerability of men and the power that can create will not be a secret much longer.

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4. And Yes, some of this happened: Bette Davis Eyes.

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5. And heaps of Bro Love, which I define as being truly seen by another man, of whatever age.

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6. I’m guessing this is not the Paul Ryan from the Tea Party in the States, great ethos though: I’m an Individual.

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7. Mark Hyman, MD, believes that we all deserve a life of vitality and that we have the potential to create it for ourselves. That’s why he is dedicated to tackling the root causes of chronic disease by harnessing the power of Functional Medicine to transform healthcare. Dr Hyman and his team work every day to empower people, organizations, and communities to heal their bodies and minds, and improve our social and economic resilience.

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8. Those African dudes know how to keep our intention simple: How Far I’ll Go.

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9. Gentleman, make some noise!!

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10. We Wee’d in nature on the island. it really gets you in contact with the power of the wellness offered by communing with the land: Oh, Well.

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11. And didn’t they share this so beautifully in the Heartspace process?

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12. A philosophical doctrine or approach to life that emphasizes social unity and generosity of spirit: Ubuntu.

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13. Even Rumi’s on our side.

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14. Here is my favourite movement creator, here are some of his words: I Have A Dream.

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15. And for our final lesson, Men of the Island remember the power of the snowflake.

There is so much great stuff happening across the communities of the world to have its heart space be transformed. It was an honour to attend one of them on Sunday.

There is a playlist, it has one of Australia’s greatest silly songs amongst other classics. We begin with Bryan Ferry them move to Kim Carnes. Who remembers Jacko then a musical tune from Moana. One of the great early Fleetwood Mac numbers follows then a world music number from World Edition. We finish with the wisdom of Martin Luther King: We Make A Life By What We Give.

If you really knew me, you would know in my heart there lives the statement: Love and Respect For All, Everybody Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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The Pain of the Process is only Temporary.


Wish you had more wellbeing? Are you longing for an evidence-based approach to consistently feel good and function more effectively at work? Do you need busy-proof practices to help you more confidently navigate the lows and highs we all experience?

What if you had a toolkit to unleash accomplishment. If you purchase Your Wellbeing Blueprint: Feeling Good and Doing Well at Work by Michelle Mcquaid and Dr Peggy Kern you get one: Get It Here.

There are seven levels to the tool kit, here they are:

  1. Setting Goals That Work – Know what you Want, Audit your Time, Stretch Yourself, Set Weekly Goals.
  2. Being Hopeful – Map Your Hopes, Start a Passion Project, Find Hopeful Friends.
  3. Practising Growth Mindset – Set Learning Goals, Get comfortable with Failure, Name your fixed Mindset, Growth Mindset Reflection.
  4. Developing Grit – Draw a Grit Map, Ask for Help, Invest in Deliberate Practice.
  5. Boosting Your Confidence – Strike a Power Pose, Take One Small Step, Acknowledge “Not Yet”.
  6. Being Self-Compassionate – Create a Mantra, Write a Letter, Soothe Your Pain, Remember to be Kind.
  7. Improving Your Resilience – Challenge Your Beliefs, Lean into the Suck, Ban “Always”, Flex Your Stress Mindset.

Shakespeare said, “Joy’s soul lies in the doing.” How has society written about this journey, Let’s take a look:

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1. Do what you love for work, and you will never work another day in your life.

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2. Burn, Baby, Burn: Burning Down the House.

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3. Charles Franklin Kettering sometimes known as Charles “Boss” Kettering was an American inventor, engineer, businessman, and the holder of 186 patents. He was a founder of Delco and was head of research at General Motors from 1920 to 1947. Among his most widely used automotive developments were the electrical starting motor and leaded gasoline.

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4. When you pass they will remember you for who you were, not what you owned: When I’m Gone.

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5. The dreams, they’re on the other side.

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6. Kids say such amazing things until we train it out of them: Lot To Learn.

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7. Eric Thomas, PhD is a critically acclaimed author, World-renowned speaker, educator, pastor and audible.com Audie Awards Finalist. ET, as he is better known, has taken the world by storm, with his creative style and high-energy messages. His words continue to impact tens of millions of people in several hundred countries across the planet!  Through a significant social media presence and his recent domestic and international tours, “ET, The Hip Hop Preacher” has become a global phenomenon!

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8. Boom: Tomorrow.

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9. You, Yourself, I.

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10. I learnt an expression at Landmark Education I will never forget, what you don’t know you didn’t know: Heaven.

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11. Katie Byron calls it the Work, you need to do it.

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12. of course, it’s Judy and Somewhere over the rainbow…: Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

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13. Two very similar statements with totally different meanings.

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14. I believe in miracles and unicorns, do you?: You Sexy Thing.

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15. And the final lesson, Yes, You are that person.
With more than 100 positive interventions to choose from, this book gives you everything you need to become an informed, confident, and active steward of your own wellbeing so you can wholeheartedly show up and be fully engaged in life — whatever it throws at you.

I really like today’s eclectic playlist. It begins with Talking Heads, moves over to Eminem, then another rapper in Luke Christopher. To the world of the musical with a track from Annie. The beautiful voice of Kane Brown is next, then the legend who is Judy Garland finishing with the sexy tones of Hot Chocolate: The Pain of the Process is Only Temporary.

So one of my accomplishments is to have Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included is part of common day language. Join me in spreading it until we meet again, my dear friends.

We are What we Repeatedly Do!!


Have you heard of James Clear, he wrote the insightful book on getting done what you want to called – Atomic Habits An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones: Get it Here, Free Shipping Worldwide.

People think when you want to change your life, you need to think big. But world-renowned habits expert James Clear has discovered another way. He knows that real change comes from the compound effect of hundreds of small decisions – doing two push-ups a day, waking up five minutes early, or holding a single short phone call.

He calls them atomic habits.

In this ground-breaking book, Clears reveals exactly how these minuscule changes can grow into such life-altering outcomes. He uncovers a handful of simple life hacks (the forgotten art of Habit Stacking, the unexpected power of the Two Minute Rule, or the trick to entering the Goldilocks Zone), and delves into cutting-edge psychology and neuroscience to explain why they matter. Along the way, he tells inspiring stories of Olympic gold medalists, leading CEOs, and distinguished scientists who have used the science of tiny habits to stay productive, motivated, and happy.

These small changes will have a revolutionary effect on your career, your relationships, and your life.

He sums it up with the following statement:

“If you find yourself struggling to build a good habit or break a bad one, it is not because you have lost your ability to improve. It is often because you have not yet crossed the Plateau of Latent Potential. Complaining about not achieving success despite working hard is like complaining about an ice cube not melting when you heated it from twenty-five to thirty-one degrees. Your work was not wasted; it is just being stored. All the action happens at thirty-two degrees. When you finally break through the Plateau of Latent Potential, people will call it an overnight success. … Mastery requires patience. The San Antonio Spurs, one of the most successful teams in NBA history, has a quote from social reformer Jacob Riis hanging in their locker room: ‘When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow, it will split in two, and I know it was not that last blow that did it—but all that had gone before.’”

So how are you with creating good habits, then again how is the planet, let’s have a look.

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1. Blessed may your day be if you take this on.

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2. What a simple action per day can do for your future: The Seven Habits.

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3. It’s not the peak experiences that make the ultimate difference, It’s what you do after them when it comes to light.

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4. The first ingredient in a brand new future: Have It All.

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5. Napoleon Hill is the grandfather of the self-development movement, He is known best for his book Think and Grow Rich (1937) which is among the 10 best selling self-help books of all time.

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6. Have we been listening, Aristotle who made this statement was born in 384 BC: This is How We Do.

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7. What’s your favourite addiction, is it good or bad for you?

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8. You wake up one day and feel really motivated. But that will not produce the result, taking up the habit of what you were motivated about is where the answer lies: Burn Bright.

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9. Sixty a day of these for ten years then I became a marathon runner.

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10. Self Love will help you walk this path: Love Myself.

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11. They are also known as breakthroughs.

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12. Make your destiny a grand one, in whichever way that shows up for you: High Hopes.

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13. Step one, write a bad poem, paint a crap portrait, just begin a new habit today.

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14. Maya is one of my top ten on the internet: Yum: And Still I Rise.

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15. Oops, seems they left out a bit in Aristotle’s quote at number Six, makes more sense now.

How to Create a Good Habit and then How to Break a Bad Habit The 1st law (Cue) Make it obvious. Make it invisible. The 2nd law (Craving) Make it attractive. Make it unattractive. The 3rd law (Response) Make it easy. Make it difficult. The 4th law (Reward) Make it satisfying. Make it unsatisfying. This seems like it would be simple enough to do , but with the busyness, we fill our life up with these days, maybe not so, time to unclutter and allow space for some new good habits.

The playlist today is full of pop diva songs of possibility: We begin with Jannah Bolin, then Jason Mraz. Three great pop divas follow: Kate Perry, Natalie Grant and Hailee Steinfeld. Then a bit of Electronica from Panic at the Disco finishing with some sage wisdom from Maya Angelou. Enjoy: We are What We Repeatedly Do.

Remember to spread Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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Purpose is the Reason you Journey!!


As Nelson Mandela said, “It always seems impossible until it is done.” Marc and Angel Chernoff, in their wonderful life-aspiring book Getting Back To Happy: Link to Get It. have the following to say about this quote:

“Any goal you might have might seem impossible when looked at as a whole. The trick is recognising that it doesn’t have to happen all at once. Small acts of positive intention will only help to strengthen your resolve, reignite your passion for living, and. ultimately make it easier for you to turn your life for the better.

It’s important to remember that no act of changing your situation will cause regression, as long as that act is positive and intentional. With this in mind, one simple thing to start with when things are getting stressful, and your passion for taking action is sapped, is to take ten minutes taking a walk to clear your mind. A short walk does wonders. It gives you something new to look at, gets your body moving, and is a quick way to get yourself physically out of your present situation.”

On that ten minute walk we get to remember our passion, to reignite it, here are some of my favourite quotes on the subject of my and your passion:

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1. Self Love 101.

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2. Gabby Bernstein walks the talk of this quote: Tap Into The Power of Presence.

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3. Time to Wake Up!!

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4. One of my top ten, here’s some Maya: Still I Rise.

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5. Your passion is your gift to the world, please fulfil it.

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6. What is you favourite dance floor, time to go there: Dancing Queen.

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7. How to get over your fear of heights, don the parachute.

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8. Four simple letters that will transform your life: Love has come to Town.

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9. From the world most quoted, Ms. Anonymous come a moment to remember when it gets tough.

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10. They say that going down to the sea and watching the power of the ocean is a potent way to get in touch with your passion as you see whats possible: We Belong to the Sea.

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11. No words needed.

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12. I think this has been forgotten in standard education circles. One must go and seek out the education that does this for them these days: Light My Fire.

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13. Your life suddenly becomes the long way home when you miss it.

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14. Yes, it is. Free form Conscious dancing at 64: Dancing In The Streets.

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15. Another passion of mine: More Love Letters.

Marc and Angel continue:

” Many of us are still hopelessly trying to find our passion – something we believe will ultimately lead us closer to happiness, success, or the life situation we ultimately want. And we say hopelessly primarily because passion can’t really be found. When we say we’re trying to find our passion, it implies our passion is somehow hiding behind a tree or under a rock somewhere. But that’s far from the truth. The truth is, our passion comes from doing things right. If you’re waiting to somehow “find your passion” somewhere outside of yourself, so you finally have a reason to put your whole heart and soul into your life and the changes you need to make, you’ll likely be waiting around for an eternity.

On the other hand, if you’re tired of waiting, and you’d rather live more passionately starting today and experience small positive changes, it’s time to proactively inject passion into the very next thing you do. Think about it:

1. When was the last time you sat down and had a conversation with someone you love, with zero distractions and 100 percent focus?

2. When was the last time you exercised and put every bit of effort you could muster into it?

3. When was the last time you truly tried – truly tried – to do your very best?

Stop waiting for better opportunities. The one you have in front of you is the best opportunity.

Todays playlist contains wise words, classic songs and a sea shanty. Firstly Gabby Bernstein and Maya Angelou pass on their wisdom, then two classics from Abba and Talking Heads. Aqua then take us down to the sea, The Doors light our fire and Martha nad the Vandellas close the set having us dance in the streets. Here’s the link to the videos, enjoy: Purpose Is The Reason You Journey.

Namste until next time, my dear friends:

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