Never Accept The Definition of Life From Others!!!


I am going through a 21-day process called Integrity and the Power of Habit via the Warriors of Love year-long training program I am in. Each week has a list of core principles, for week one they are as follows in the area of Integrity :

  1. Live from Embodies Essence.
  2. The Power of Declaration from Essence.
  3. Integrity – Do what you say you will do.
  4. With Integrity Comes Power.
  5. Write It Down – Put it in time.
  6. When Integrity falls out, we create distance.

For each of us, these principles will bring up different shadows where we could improve said integrity. I immediately noticed for me it was how I spend my mornings. I have watched ABC News Breakfast for at least an hour for the past five years. My friend Brian Johnson from Optimize, the best ten dollars you can spend on the internet: The link to Brian’s World. states that we are at our most refreshed first thing in the mornings . after we have rested our body.

So the TV is now turned off and I go for a half-hour walk wearing my absolutely fantastic Beats Bluetooth headphones listening to my morning meditation.

What do others say about the morning and how empowering it is when used to its full benefits, let’s have a look.

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1. My Tibetan Buddhist school referred to him as Shakyamuni Buddha. This is about living in the present.

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2. One is not the loneliest number sometimes: One.

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3. A bit out of integrity with the spelling but a great message.

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4. My life ethos is Love and Respect for all, Everyone Included so I cannot agree with this: One Love.

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5. Celebrations, Challenges and Commitments are what we look at in the group.

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6. Word Magic: Try.

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7. And hopefully we all have one of these, and if we don’t, they are out there, you just have not found each other yet.

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8. Refer to the Blog title…: Born This Way.

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9. Is this a tautology, even if it’s not, it’s clever.

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10. From the worlds most popular philosopher, Ms Unknown, the reason why early to bed, early to rise is such a great idea: Live It Up.

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11. From the early and mid-1800s, Ralph speaks of the benefits the mornings offer.

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12. Life is a Blessing, a powerful mantra to live life by: Blessed We Are.

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13. And is all across the planet.

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14. Cute cat photo of the blog: Moving On Up.

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15. And for our final lesson, there are 7 billion different ways to relate to these principles.

Today’s list from Marc and Angel Chernoff is entitled: 10 WAYS Successful people START Their Mornings:

  1. Get an Early Start.
  2. Clarify and Review Your Priorities.
  3. Prune any nonessential commitments for the day.
  4. Exercise.
  5. Eat a Healthy Breakfast.
  6. Kiss your partner good-bye.
  7. Practice 15 minutes of positive visualisation.
  8. Eat That Frog.
  9. Connect with the Right People.
  10. Stay Informed.

Today’s playlist educated me, I did not know that one of Australia’s musical icons went as far back as the sixties, but there you go. We begin with John Farnham and Bob Marley from the last century. Pink and Lady Gaga returns us to this one. Another Australian number one from Mental As Anything. Then a fantastic singalong from Peia, and we complete with some R and B from M People: Never Accept The Definition of Life From Others!!!

So here is to walking to my nearby lake in Rezza, aka Reservoir each morning. Showing myself Love and Respect For All, Everybody Included. Remember if you enjoy the subject matter of my blog, sign up on the right-hand side on the homepage. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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There Is No House Like The House Of Belonging!!!


We had a training day for my Warriors of Love yeat long training program yesterday, that’s Sunday for the rest of my readers who don’t live in Australia. Embarrassingly due to lack of sleep, I fell asleep twice in the theoretical section of the day. But towards the end of the day, we did an amazing exercise on Belonging – as in what was our belief’s that had us not fully belong in a group of over 30 people and what did we think was the core belief of the group that prevented it.

There was an amazing range of reasons offered, some people spoke easily, others did not comment at all. For myself, my bugbear “If they truly knew how unlovable I was they would hate me” was my offering. Others covered I am afraid to shine because I will be cut off at the knees too, I can’t bring all part of my life here. They were as many and varied and unique as the diverse individuals in the group.

When we moved on to the group ethos it tied into fear of what would our lives be like if we actually achieved this. The thought crossed my mind that my worrisome and sometimes anxious identity would have to die. So what has the world said about belonging, what stops or creates a sense of community, let’s have a look:

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1. Who else could we start this with but a classic Brene Brown quote?

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2. As children, we will try anything because everything is a new experience, and we belong to them all: Adventure of a Lifetime. 

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3. British film director Anthony Minghella powerfully states the control these thoughts have over us.

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4. I totally get where actor James Caan is coming with this statement: Hey Ho.

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5. Not just students: children, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, ex-lovers, etc. etc.

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 6. I think William should have called them the superpowers: Superpower.

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7. Wonder (curiosity), self-discovery, problem-solving, interaction, exploration, and play—that’s what Bev Bos taught me. Reading and writing come after these approaches to learning are established. Children learn best when they can make their own choices and set their own goals.

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8. The entertainment industry is featuring heavily in this blog, musician Tom Petty directs us towards our freedom spot: Freedom.

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9. That’s how powerful your story is – speak kindly to yourself.

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10. More Brene, Self Love 101: Love Myself.

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11. And from outside Western civilization comes proof this is a worldwide search.

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12. Being the daughter of famous parents may have something to do with this quote, Gail’s mother was Lena Horne: Stormy Weather.

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13. Belonging has many different meanings.

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14. Being the best or most extreme example of its kind. “the ultimate accolade”: Ultimate.

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15. The final lesson for today is this image because I loved it so much.

I like adding one of my friends Marc and Angel Chernoff, who wrote 1000+ Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently lists at the end of my blogs, I have found them extremely useful on my healing journey. Todays is entitled 10 TIMELESS lessons from a Life Well Lived:

  1. Happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.’
  2. Be a student of Life every day.
  3. Experience is the Best Teacher.
  4. Your Choice, Your Actions, Your Life.
  5. No one is “too busy.” It’s all about priorities.
  6. Be patient and tough. Someday this pain will be useful to you.
  7. It’s usually better to be kind than right.
  8. You can become a magnet for good things by wishing everyone well.
  9. Only you are in charge of your attitude.
  10. Satisfaction is not always the fulfilment of what you want.

Today’s playlist features Rock, Rap and Pop Diva’s. We begin with the rock of Coldplay and the Lumineers. Beyonce and Hailee Steinfeld are split by a classic Woodstock anthem from Richie Havens. The penultimate song returns to the time of World War Two from Lena Horne and we finish with a grungey rap number from Denzel Curry: There Is No House Like the House of Belonging!!!

I was thinking as we were standing in the completion circle of our Belonging process that if we achieve this it would be possible for the whole planet to come from Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included, my heart shuddered. Remember if you enjoy reading my musings you can sign up to receive them on the right-hand side of my home page. Until we meet again on the airwaves, my dear friends.

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F.L.Y. – First Love Yourself!!


I have begun writing my blogs about how I feel about things in my life, I don’t want to write about having a cold or a dodgy knee so that leaves self-love. I went and saw my mentor Arion for my weekly session and as always he asked me what did I want to discuss. I said I would like to discuss why I am finding it hard to feel my ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included throughout my body.

He replied, but that is who you are for your friends and family. We went through a list of people and places I am a part of, he asked me if I asked them was I an example of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included what would they say about me, I had to admit that they would probably say I was. So the next question was if 99 people were saying this about me that why was I not getting the message, this is when the old warhorse lack of self-love raised itself through my body.

It’s interesting the decisions we make as young children, I don’t remember coming to don’t allow yourself to be loved, because you will have to leave from moving a lot but at times it controls me. Loaded up with some breathwork exercises, I headed to the local library to sit in the rooftop garden and contemplate the session. It made me think what have the mystics and soothsayers said about self-love over the decades, here are some of them:

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1. Lending his popular voice to various topics, Steve’s books, quotes, videos, and memes have become a social media sensation; being shared by millions across the globe in more than 25 languages.

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2. I’m a step from this, I feel: Conceited.

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3. I forgot the last line on my tattoo.

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4. As is each of us: Irreplaceable.

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5. Dodinsky’s home page has been hacked by a casino site, Love this quote.

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6. Makes me think of that civil war statement, Rebel Yell: Rebel Yell.

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7. Has to be some Brene in the mix.

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8. Somewhere, Everywhere: Somewhere Over The Rainbow.

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9. Marvel comics know this relates to both women and men.

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10. Some of the really tough work, mirror work: I’m Still Standing.

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11. Not surprisingly I became Community Manager of a company called Collective Potential.

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12. This is because you actually have boundaries when you love yourself: Emotional Boundaries are Important.

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13. Perfection, the ultimate booby prize.

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14. Supposedly they are already there: Loving You.

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15. The final lesson, don’t devalue yourself.

Writing this has made me feel a lot better, time to look at the evidence, not listen to identity.

There are two great yells in the playlist today, and we may double the views of the young woman who has been viewed a mere 35 times. We begin with rap diva Remy Ma, then four icons from totally different era follow. Beyonce, Billy Idol, Ariana Grande and Elton John make them up. Then the little known Nadia Nelson and we finish with a classic from the 1970s by Minnie Riperton: F.L.Y. – First Love Yourself

I’m learning to include myself in Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until we meet again my dear friends.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

 

 

Someone Asked If I Knew You?


As I said in my last blog I turned 65 last week, on Sunday I attended a memorial service for a friend who will not. He was just 42 and one of the most vibrant people on the planet. He was a DJ, an environmentalist, a teacher and a beautiful man. He was taken by the big C, a condition that does not listen to reason.

In the weeks before his passing rumours spread of him passing and people began to write eulogies. He had not, so I began listening to his MixCloud sets. I was listening to one of these when posts began appearing from his nearest and dearest that he had actually passed. At this moment I received a download from him. It was just four words: Get On With It. You cannot assume you will be here to fulfil your passions and dreams next year, Get on with It.

Today an article from my friends Marc and Angel Chernoff titled 25 Things You Should Never Stop Doing for Yourself came through my news feed, I thought they were relevant:

  1. Never stop stretching and improving yourself.
  2. Never stop listening to your own inner voice.
  3. Never stop walking comfortably in your own shoes.
  4. Never stop working through your fears.
  5. Never stop being a little unrealistic.
  6. Never stop doing what needs to be done.
  7. Never stop embracing your struggles.
  8. Never stop being willing to make mistakes.
  9. Never stop getting back up.
  10. Never stop making the best of it.
  11. Never stop ignoring the naysayers.
  12. Never stop taking small steps forward.
  13. Never stop giving yourself a chance to soar to new heights.
  14. Never stop smiling.
  15. Never stop thinking positive.
  16. Never stop laughing at yourself and your life situations.
  17. Never stop appreciating the life you’re living right now.
  18. Never stop indulging in life’s little daily joys.
  19. Never stop spreading your kindness.
  20. Never stop giving what you can.
  21. Never stop giving your important relationships a fair chance.
  22. Never stop doing little things for your own happiness.
  23. Never stop opening your mind to new perspectives.
  24. Never stop evolving.
  25. Never stop writing your own story, your own way.

My friend did most of these, especially number 21, never stop giving your important relationships a chance. So how does society give friendships a chance, here are a selection of that is said about them:

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  1. Several hundred people attended the memorial for my friend. quite a few travelled from interstate, I think this supports the above statement.

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2. Through a lengthy friendship, all these and more situations arise: Black Coffee.

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3. When the physical sails off, we have the memories in our heart.

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4. As you get older and they pull down the structures of your past, it is the people that you remember who were there with you: That’s What Friends Are For.

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5. I met one of my dearest friends pretending to be a tree at a party in a flat in Carlton in the ’70s when we swayed into each other too vigorously. 

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6. The people who you can sit with next to a river for hours and not a word needs to be spoken, Fuck Yes: Down by the River.

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7. They’re the ones wearing the I’m with them tee shirts.

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8. Ama Ata Aidoonée Christina Ama Aidoo (born 23 March 1942) is a Ghanaian author, poet, playwright and academic. She was the Minister of Education under the Jerry Rawlings administration. In 2000, she established the Mbaasem Foundation to promote and support the work of African women writers because she realised it was important that all people received an education, not just the elite, She has portrayed the role of African women in contemporary society. She has opined that the idea of nationalism has been deployed by recent leaders as a means of keeping people oppressed. She has criticized those literate Africans who profess to love their country but are seduced away by the benefits of the developed world. She believes in a distinctly African identity, which she views from a female perspective: I am Woman.

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9. I think we are best at this as children.

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10. What does the F stand for: It Ain’t What You Do.

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11. There are 51 meanings for the acronym BFF, this could be for two of them: Best Friends Forever or Best Fan Forever.

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12. My friend was so good at this. Written in the 1930s or 1940s, still so relevant today: Humble and Kind.

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13. Until they are not if you have the thought I wonder how they are, time to reach out.

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14. From her Matched Trilogy of teenage novels comes this beautiful quote by author Ally Condie: Tangled Up In You.

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15. And we finish our lesson for today with the eating of buns.

We ended the ceremony with a drumming ceremony in a circle, as it lifted in energy, I could imagine our friend saying fuck this, and jumping into the middle and dancing his heart out. Farewell from the physical world, our dear friend, the eternal will hold you well as will our hearts.

The playlist for today is not really representative of the music our friend loved, but maybe it is as he loved all music. It begins with All Saints. Then drops back a century to Dionne Warwick, a long guitar solo by Neil Young, Helen Reddy and Bananarama. The penultimate track goes country by Tim Mcgraw as does the final number from Aaron Lewis: Someone Asked If I Knew You.

It took me two days to write this, it normally takes two hours. My friend lived Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. We will miss you, dear friend.

Until we meet again my dear friends, I love you.

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My Story Matters because I Matter!!


Have you seen it, I’ve watched it five times, etc. etc.. I’m talking about the latest Netflix sensation, Brene Brown’s special The Call to Courage. I’ve watched it once but have viewed everything on Youtube several times over the years. The title of this blog is one of her quotes, and when her last book Dare to Lead was released I pre-ordered it three times by mistake, my two friends I gifted it to were rapt.

I have read every book she has written at least twice because she is a great writer and makes it easy to receive many aha moments per page. Let’s list them:

  1. The Gifts of Imperfection.
  2. Daring Greatly.
  3. I Thought It Was Just Me: But It Isn’t.
  4. Rising Strong.
  5. Rising Strong As A Spiritual Practice.
  6. The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting.
  7. The Power of Vulnerability.
  8. Braving The Wilderness.
  9. Connections Curriculum – 12 Sessions.
  10. Dare To Lead – Brave Work.
  11. Women and Shame, Reaching Out.

 

Oops,  I have not read them all after seeing the list, two to go. I put Brene Brown quotes in Ecosia Images, I use Ecosia search engine ILO Google because of the fact they plant a tree for each click, and there were hundreds, it’s like all of her words are a quote that can transform your life. These are the ones I have chosen, It’s time for some Brene bliss:

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1. These days of the online world, they are called Trolls.

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2. And the booby prize is …: Perfectionist Complex.

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3. Don’t forget the little things, remember to stop and smell the Roses.

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4. If you only do what you know what you feel safe doing, the word boring comes to mind. Time to step up to mistake land: Another Lifetime.

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5. Happy, Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, Joy.

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6. My marketing mentor laughed at me when I said I could do research for everybody. Andrew said, what about working with people you like working with, find the others: They must deserve It.

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7. We are not Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, at the base of it all, we are all human.

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8. Shadow and Light travel together, attempting to ignore the shadow is pure bullshit, the pain will remain and return tenfold until you are willing to deal with it: Growing Pains.

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9. For me, it lives in the realm of what we don’t know we don’t know.

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10. Kur-it. This is why my English students often stare at me with strange looks when I pronounce words for them: Reach Out.

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11. Repeat after me, I am Enough. Repeat after me, I am Enough, etc. etc…

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12. And at the base of it all, there is Love: Love Myself.

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13. How do you respond when a beloved shares their life with you?

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14. To be totally balanced in our bodies, we need to feel it all: Comfortably Numb.

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15. And fro Brene’s final lesson, it’s a long one and a doozy. If all you get is the aha moment from this one then Brene has done her job.

My top three: Daring Greatly, Rising Strong and Dare to Lead. It is also worth checking out her website, her free resources are awesome: Access to all Things Brene.

The playlist begins with two newbies to me, Jubyphonic and Nao. The spoken word has of course to be Brene, that’s next. Pop diva Alessia Cara follows and then we go way back to The Four Tops. Then my favourite Self Love song from Hailee Steinfeld and Pink Floyd close the set: My Story Matters Because I Matter.

So that’s my love letter to Brene Brown. She would be a fan of my lifetime paradigm: Love and Respect for All: Everybody Included. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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Not on my watch, Anymore!!


I wrote the following in my Facebook news feed two days after New Zealand:

I am sitting in Preston Town Hall at the Multicultural fair, cultural diversity Festival 2019. There are hijab’s and henna painted hands everywhere, so many different cultures. Firstly I went to the Preston Mosque, ironically the day after NZ they had already invited their neighbours so they could meet and enjoy a meal together. I was privileged to hear the Imaan give his welcome speech and his communities comment on NZ. I firstly had spent an hour having my hand shaken by both Muslim men and women thanking me for being there, I did not know if it is cool to walk around a mosque with tears flowing from your eyes so I sort of controlled it. The Imaan spoke of common humanity, then of a noble death, where you are looked after in the afterlife. He quoted the Koran where it says if you kill an innocent human being you kill the spirit of the human race. I made a promise to myself at that moment I will do everything in my power that this will never happen again on my watch. 

I picked up my friend and extraordinary poet Ari Amal’s beautiful tome: The Details and the Infinite when I got home and opened it to the following poem, it spoke to my heart, here is her webpage link: Find out about Ari.

May All The Blossoms Within You Unfurl

It only takes one brave bud

To start a revolution

So to the buds in you that are yearning to burst open

These words are for you:

Darling ones

Spring has come

It is time to become

All that you are

So lift your face to the sun

& laugh with the sky

For even your fragrance is a Gift

To those who happen by

It only takes one brave bud

To start a revolution

So tell me,

Who amongst you will inspire 

the Fiesta?

I don’t think the human being who committed the heinous act in Christchurch had read it, who amongst us will do what it takes to transform the world into the majestic place it could be. What have we written about it, let’s take a look:

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1. One of the bravest acts a human being , can commit in their lifetime, be themselves in the face of the crap society throws at them not to be.

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2. Can’t read their name, but I have enjoyed the revolution, my artistic friends have created for the past 45 years: Art for Art’s Sake.

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3. “Nisker’s book (Essential Crazy Wisdom) is twenty-three times more liberating than the Bible, the Torah, and the Koran combined. It may be crazy to say such a thing but it is also wise.”  — Tom Robbins, author.

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4. From the Black Panthers, if you don’t know who they are, google it. It’s not about the people, it’s about their stand: The Revolution Will Not Be Televised.

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5. Begin one today.

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6. No Isaac Newton here, grow some: Formation.

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7. Donald Trump, Scott Morrison and other far-right world leaders, Jacinda and us mob, we are coming for you.

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8. Dorothy got this answer to a question, I don’t accept it: Que Sera Sera.

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9. A revolution of desire has given us today’s world, pick again.

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10. Will it be yours, what area in your life will it be: Stir It Up.

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11. He, Joseph Stalin may have got carried away with his zeal but I get his point, just don’t go over the top like Uncle Joe did.

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12. When I read George’s books, I decided Tyrion Lannister was one of the great characters in literature. Not just fantasy literature – literature! A brilliant, caustic, horny, drunken, self-flagellating mess of a man. And there was only one choice to play him.”: Never Forget You.

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13. And, Go!!

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14. If you are decluttering your house to do this, stop it: Smooth Operator.

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15. And finally to my Mojo crew, Awakening Women for Men brothers, Warrior of Love travellers, Dancing Eros sisters in male bodies, Expand the Box and Possibility Lab cronies, my ISTA family and my siblings Hugo, Ruthie and Jann, two words, Fuck Yes!!

I think writing this has helped the sadness I feel in my gut for what happened in New Zealand, time to grow some and go.

I like today’s playlist, it has some of music’s icons and one of my favourite spoken word jazz tracks: 10cc with a classic head it off, Gill Scott-Heron then some diva pop from Beyonce. Then we go way back to Dorothy Day. The certified legend Bob Marley follows, next is new to me but not ten million people, The Noisettes, and we finish with the always sensual Sade: Not on my Watch, Anymore.

Do I really have to say it, We need Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included or we all may not wake up one day because we thought everything was OK and someone will prove that wasn’t true in an ultimate way.

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A Rock Musicians Career is Shortlived!!


There are a lot of lists out there that are based on what to stop doing to yourself to lead a better life, but not so many lists that advise you what to start doing. So here is one of my top ten’s go at it. From Marc Chernoff comes these 30 suggestions:

  1. Start spending time with the right people.
  2. Start facing your problems head-on.
  3. Start being honest with yourself about everything.
  4. Start making your own happiness a priority.
  5. Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly.
  6. Start noticing and living in the present.
  7. Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you.
  8. Start being more polite to yourself.
  9. Start enjoying the things you already have.
  10. Start creating your own happiness.
  11. Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance.
  12. Start believing that you’re ready for the next step.
  13. Start entering new relationships for the right reasons.
  14. Start giving new people you meet a chance.
  15. Start competing against an earlier version of yourself.
  16. Start cheering for other people’s victories.
  17. Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations.
  18. Start forgiving yourself and others.
  19. Start helping those around you.
  20. Start listening to your own inner voice.
  21. Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks.
  22. Start noticing the beauty of small moments.
  23. Start accepting things when they are less than perfect.
  24. Start working toward your goals every day.
  25. Start being more open about how you feel.
  26. Start taking full accountability for your own life.
  27. Start actively nurturing your most important relationships.
  28. Start concentrating on the things you can control.
  29. Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes.
  30. Start noticing how wealthy you are right now.

So what has the world said about doing things that empower you, here is my selection of several thousand options:

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1. Perfection, the booby prize that holds people back from beginning so many adventures and creative outlets.

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2. Blogger turned New York Times best-selling author and speaker Mandy Hale is the creator of the social media movement, “The Single Woman.” With a heart to inspire single women to live their best lives and to never, ever settle, Mandy cuts to the heart of the matter with her inspirational, straight-talking, witty, and often wildly humorous take on life and love. Mandy’s message reaches literally millions of women across the world every day through her blog, books, and social media platforms: Happy.

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3. Wishing that the world be a better place does not make the world a better place, action does.

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4. Mini list: Express Yourself.

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5. Self Love 101.

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6. Is the second line the new name for Social media: Medicine.

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7. Join a pride march today.

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8. All the things that make you happy, not the other stuff should be your focus: Yeh Hum Aa Gaye Hain Kahaan.

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9. Thrilling and voluptuous, Yes Please!!

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10. They all build on each other: Dressed for Success.

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11. What do you do for yourself to build your positive to do list?

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12. Doing these things is what has your ideas and dreams happen: Lose Yourself.

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13. And from the world’s greatest investor – humour, or is it?

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14. You have to be part of your A team, or it just won’t work: The A team.

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15. I love Alex’s ethos – Self Care: Everything!!

Remember today, for it is the beginning. Today marks the start of a brave new future.

A scene from Bollywood features in today’s tracks, hard to believe how little we know about the world’s largest film industry. We begin with Pharrell, follow with retro Madonna, then someone new to me but not 1.7 million viewers, Queen Naija. Off to Bollywood with Shah Rukh Khan and Preity Zinta, then Roxette and Eminem and we finish with Ed Sheeran quite an eclectic mix: A Rock Musicians Career is Short-lived!!

So as always I will recommend the practice of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included till we meet again my dear friends:

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