It’s About Breaking Down The Walls


I am starting to get a lot of information in my Facebook news feed as to what makes a man a real man, I was in my local library the other day when I saw the updated version of Steve Biddulph’s visionary book Manhood first released in 1998, now called the New Manhood: Love, Freedom, Spirit and the New Masculinity and re-released in 2015. I discovered a review of the book which sums how I see the situation, written by a phycologist named Katja:

Just reading the first ten pages of this book will probably be enough to leave you in no doubt – we in the Western world have a serious problem with men. Lonely, frustrated, confused, unhappy men. Men who can’t express their emotions and either numb them or channel them in negative and violent ways towards women, children, and other men. Men whose identities are tied up in their careers, because they never learned that there were any other options. Men whose fathers were authoritarian, cold, distant, abusive, or absent, and who are perpetuating those same patterns in their own families. Particularly affecting is the section in which Biddulph explores where we as a society got our modern conception of “manliness” – and where, frankly, it all started to go wrong. If this book impresses upon you one message, it is that our concept of manhood has become warped, constricted, deranged – and is in desperate need of re-evaluation. The fact that this is just as much the case as 20 years ago when it was written is extremely worrying. Biddulph doesn’t mince words – he cuts straight to the point and tells it like it is, succinctly but deeply exploring the problems of modern manhood, with a writing style that is refreshing and at times devastatingly emotional. So much so that the friend who lent it to me said that it made him cry – and if you think there’s anything wrong with that, then this book is for you in particular! Here is a link to the book: The New Manhood.

All over the world movements are arising to shift this, in my hometown, Melbourne we have one-day events called Isle of Men and a three-day retreat called Menergy, they are for men to attend to become a better man for themselves, their partners, their children, their families and their friends. So what has the world said about masculinity over the years, let’s take that journey:

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1. Withholding causes emotional and physical pain on an ongoing basis.

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2. Little Boxes, Little Boxes all in a row: Mask Off.

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3. What one could call living a complete life, not ignoring the hard parts.

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4. Wrong-way, go back: A Woman’s Worth.

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5. Boom!!!

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6. The shadow and the light, Its all part of the deal: Shadow of The Day.

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7. If this irritates you, its time to begin the journey.

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8. The journey from the mind to the heart and back again – a great start: Jar of Hearts.

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9. I am 65, I only learnt this in my last five years, it is very freeing.

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10. Both M and F words, but they have totally different meanings and distinctions attached to them: Breaking Free.

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11. Repeat after me, It is not given to you.

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12. The film industry has a lot to answer for: Gangsta’s Paradise.

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13. Because I can.

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14. Fuck, this is good: In My Feelings.

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15. And for our final lesson in masculinity, who is the greatest victim, time to go and look in your mirror.

Each chapter has a quote at the beginning, I thought I would finish with a few:

You and your father: Oh will you never return to see, your bruised and battered sons? Oh, I would, I would, if welcome I were for they loathe me everyone – Traditional Folk Song.

Real Sex: Slowly, Slowly in bed with a woman, I am learning to be human – Jesse Kornbluth

From Boy to Man: Between childhood, boyhood, adolescence and manhood there should be sharp lines drawn with tests, feats, rites, stories, songs and judgements – Jim Morrison.

You would think a playlist about masculinity would be all men lamenting on the subject, not so. There is quite a bit of rap though. We begin with Future who is followed by Alicia Keys. Linkin Park gets quite dark next then Christina Perri and Ruby Rose have their say. Back to rap to finish with Coolio and Drake: It’s about breaking down the Walls.

In the steps forward I have seen in the men’s movement in my country I hold great hope for my ethos: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until we meet again my dear friends.

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From Where We Are, There Is Always a Pathway to Love!!!


So, its the day after the Warriors of Love retreat and a feel many kilos of dross lighter. We looked at the power of choice in quite a rigorous and at time lighthearted way. I picked up a new nickname to go along with Tiny Tim and DF, I have to use the initials as the whole name and story behind it would not pass #Metoo guidelines these days. The latest addition is Naughty Boy. Here is some info about the Warriors of Love: Enter the Portal.

We worked with the distinctions The Loop and As it Is and What I Choose. I struggled with this for quite a time as the concept there are always consequences after making a choice got in the way. I got it in the end though.

So how has humanity worded choice over the centuries, let’s take that journey:

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  1. This quote is talking to you , not your circumstances.

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2. This is an ongoing inquiry that ends when they throw the dirt on your coffin: The Path to Wisdom.

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3. Two words, great list.

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4. All hail Queen Oprah: Every Sperm Is Sacred.

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5. Probably been replaced with the word journalling these days.

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6. Trust the gut feeling and get the fuck out of there: Diamonds.

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7. Luckily for me, my siblings are amongst my dearest friends, are yours?

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8. What if you daily choices were that free: How Far I’ll Go.

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9. Your awesomely wonderful life isn’t choosing, your heart-space is.

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10. Blogger turned New York Times best-selling author and speaker Mandy Hale is the creator of the social media movement, “The Single Woman.” With a heart to inspire single women to live their best lives and to never, ever settle, Mandy cuts to the heart of the matter with her inspirational, straight-talking, witty, and often wildly humorous take on life and love. Mandy’s message reaches literally millions of women across the world every day through her blog, books, and social media platforms: I am Woman.

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11. I found this one on consequences.

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12. How many day and moments do you choose this: Can’t Stop The Feeling.

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13. When was that again, Today?

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14. Feeling life instead of just attending it, that would be novel: Freedom.

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15. And for your final lesson, realise that where you choices take you is your own unique journey, the one meant for you.

We will finish with one of my friend Marc Chernoff’s lists, Ten Timeless Lessons/Choices from a Life Well Lived:

  1. Happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed.
  2. Be a student of life every day.
  3. Experience is the best teacher.
  4. Your choices, your actions, your life.
  5. No one is “too busy” It’s all about priorities.
  6. Be patient and tough. Someday this pain will be useful to you.
  7. It’s usually better to be kind than be right.
  8. You can become a . magnet for good things by wishing everybody well.
  9. Only you are in charge of your attitude.
  10. Satisfaction is not always the fulfilment of what you want.

I have taken up the practice of including a relative unknown song on the playlist. Its begins todays and is by Mr. 48 Alec Verkuilen.  The next track speaks to the light side of the weekend and is by the Monty Python crew. Then back to my beloved pop divas with a number by Rihanna. A track from a musical follows from Auli’i Cravalho. An ode to women from Jordin Sparks is before the penultimate track by Justin Timberlake and we finish with the iconic Beyonce: From Where We Are, There is Always a Pathway To Love.

Remember to sign up to the email miss so you don’t miss out on my latest blogs. Each is based in Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included:

Power 11

We Make A Life By What We Give!!


What am I feeling? I am feeling pride in the 200 men I spent a day with at the Island of Men who had gathered to take a stand for we were in it together to become better men for each other, our families and friends, lovers and children. The day consisted of ceremonies and about twenty workshops on a wide range of subjects that could achieve the stated intention. The following poem was written by my mentor Arion about the day, it sums up what happened pretty damn well. Here is a link to his work: Living As Essence.

Men. When you take off your mask.
You break my heart, in every way. 
You share wisdom beyond your years
And unbearable trauma under that smile

Men, when you take off the mask
You show me bone-deep loneliness
No longer covered by the effort of living
And you break my heart, again

Men, when your mask falls away
I see tender beauty 
And breathtaking kindness 
That shatters all I knew, as you

Men, without masks 
I love you, I see you 
I see the depth of your feeling 
And the burden of keeping it down

Men free from masks 
I see your tears and tenderness 
And your ache to love and be loved
I see your true power stirring

Let celebrate all that is behind that mask 
In you, me and all of us 
Let’s start a rebellion 
Where we wear the masks no more

Let us cry in each other’s arms
Then build a new world, together
A world that bows to tenderness
In every living thing

Let us break our hearts together 
In our beauty and our pain 
I love you, I love me 
Let’s take this love, to the world.

So what has the world said about the power of community, here are a few of my favourites:

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1. We attended a magnificent event and are setting up structures so that we can fulfil the third stanza.

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2. There will be Shadow and Light moments on our journeys, but as it says when it’s hard, We’re In This Together: Let’s Stick Together.

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3. But due to all of us, the vulnerability of men and the power that can create will not be a secret much longer.

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4. And Yes, some of this happened: Bette Davis Eyes.

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5. And heaps of Bro Love, which I define as being truly seen by another man, of whatever age.

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6. I’m guessing this is not the Paul Ryan from the Tea Party in the States, great ethos though: I’m an Individual.

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7. Mark Hyman, MD, believes that we all deserve a life of vitality and that we have the potential to create it for ourselves. That’s why he is dedicated to tackling the root causes of chronic disease by harnessing the power of Functional Medicine to transform healthcare. Dr Hyman and his team work every day to empower people, organizations, and communities to heal their bodies and minds, and improve our social and economic resilience.

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8. Those African dudes know how to keep our intention simple: How Far I’ll Go.

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9. Gentleman, make some noise!!

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10. We Wee’d in nature on the island. it really gets you in contact with the power of the wellness offered by communing with the land: Oh, Well.

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11. And didn’t they share this so beautifully in the Heartspace process?

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12. A philosophical doctrine or approach to life that emphasizes social unity and generosity of spirit: Ubuntu.

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13. Even Rumi’s on our side.

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14. Here is my favourite movement creator, here are some of his words: I Have A Dream.

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15. And for our final lesson, Men of the Island remember the power of the snowflake.

There is so much great stuff happening across the communities of the world to have its heart space be transformed. It was an honour to attend one of them on Sunday.

There is a playlist, it has one of Australia’s greatest silly songs amongst other classics. We begin with Bryan Ferry them move to Kim Carnes. Who remembers Jacko then a musical tune from Moana. One of the great early Fleetwood Mac numbers follows then a world music number from World Edition. We finish with the wisdom of Martin Luther King: We Make A Life By What We Give.

If you really knew me, you would know in my heart there lives the statement: Love and Respect For All, Everybody Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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Not on my watch, Anymore!!


I wrote the following in my Facebook news feed two days after New Zealand:

I am sitting in Preston Town Hall at the Multicultural fair, cultural diversity Festival 2019. There are hijab’s and henna painted hands everywhere, so many different cultures. Firstly I went to the Preston Mosque, ironically the day after NZ they had already invited their neighbours so they could meet and enjoy a meal together. I was privileged to hear the Imaan give his welcome speech and his communities comment on NZ. I firstly had spent an hour having my hand shaken by both Muslim men and women thanking me for being there, I did not know if it is cool to walk around a mosque with tears flowing from your eyes so I sort of controlled it. The Imaan spoke of common humanity, then of a noble death, where you are looked after in the afterlife. He quoted the Koran where it says if you kill an innocent human being you kill the spirit of the human race. I made a promise to myself at that moment I will do everything in my power that this will never happen again on my watch. 

I picked up my friend and extraordinary poet Ari Amal’s beautiful tome: The Details and the Infinite when I got home and opened it to the following poem, it spoke to my heart, here is her webpage link: Find out about Ari.

May All The Blossoms Within You Unfurl

It only takes one brave bud

To start a revolution

So to the buds in you that are yearning to burst open

These words are for you:

Darling ones

Spring has come

It is time to become

All that you are

So lift your face to the sun

& laugh with the sky

For even your fragrance is a Gift

To those who happen by

It only takes one brave bud

To start a revolution

So tell me,

Who amongst you will inspire 

the Fiesta?

I don’t think the human being who committed the heinous act in Christchurch had read it, who amongst us will do what it takes to transform the world into the majestic place it could be. What have we written about it, let’s take a look:

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1. One of the bravest acts a human being , can commit in their lifetime, be themselves in the face of the crap society throws at them not to be.

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2. Can’t read their name, but I have enjoyed the revolution, my artistic friends have created for the past 45 years: Art for Art’s Sake.

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3. “Nisker’s book (Essential Crazy Wisdom) is twenty-three times more liberating than the Bible, the Torah, and the Koran combined. It may be crazy to say such a thing but it is also wise.”  — Tom Robbins, author.

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4. From the Black Panthers, if you don’t know who they are, google it. It’s not about the people, it’s about their stand: The Revolution Will Not Be Televised.

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5. Begin one today.

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6. No Isaac Newton here, grow some: Formation.

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7. Donald Trump, Scott Morrison and other far-right world leaders, Jacinda and us mob, we are coming for you.

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8. Dorothy got this answer to a question, I don’t accept it: Que Sera Sera.

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9. A revolution of desire has given us today’s world, pick again.

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10. Will it be yours, what area in your life will it be: Stir It Up.

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11. He, Joseph Stalin may have got carried away with his zeal but I get his point, just don’t go over the top like Uncle Joe did.

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12. When I read George’s books, I decided Tyrion Lannister was one of the great characters in literature. Not just fantasy literature – literature! A brilliant, caustic, horny, drunken, self-flagellating mess of a man. And there was only one choice to play him.”: Never Forget You.

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13. And, Go!!

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14. If you are decluttering your house to do this, stop it: Smooth Operator.

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15. And finally to my Mojo crew, Awakening Women for Men brothers, Warrior of Love travellers, Dancing Eros sisters in male bodies, Expand the Box and Possibility Lab cronies, my ISTA family and my siblings Hugo, Ruthie and Jann, two words, Fuck Yes!!

I think writing this has helped the sadness I feel in my gut for what happened in New Zealand, time to grow some and go.

I like today’s playlist, it has some of music’s icons and one of my favourite spoken word jazz tracks: 10cc with a classic head it off, Gill Scott-Heron then some diva pop from Beyonce. Then we go way back to Dorothy Day. The certified legend Bob Marley follows, next is new to me but not ten million people, The Noisettes, and we finish with the always sensual Sade: Not on my Watch, Anymore.

Do I really have to say it, We need Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included or we all may not wake up one day because we thought everything was OK and someone will prove that wasn’t true in an ultimate way.

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The real Santa Claus is at the Mall!!


I have found an old favourite book of mine: Debbie Ford’s The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams. I suspect it may not be my copy as there are quite a few underlined sections in it. I suspect that it may belong to my sister, Ruth. It is one of these under-linings that caught my attention, the statement We only see that which we are.

This statement brings to mind the premise that we judge our lives based on that which we believe to be true and that this is not necessarily the case. So how do we break out of this lifelong habit of assuming that our world is fixed? It covers all areas of our lives and there have been many fine quotes written about it, here are a few of my favourites:

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1. It is often difficult to remember that failures occur to point us towards that we are truly meant to be doing. For some time it feels like life sucks big time.

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2. Unfortunately, one thing we cannot keep only seeing that which we are: Planet Earth.

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3. The planets favourite bard has a go at it, pointing out that it takes our relationship to others to make up our daily lives.

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4. Adams was an advocate for environmentalism and conservation, a lover of fast cars, technological innovation and the Apple Macintosh, and a radical atheist which makes his statement a bit contradictory: Stuff that Works.

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5. Takes the half glass full to an entirely new level, doesn’t it?

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6. And how C.S. went about changing our beliefs with his classic novel The Chronicles of Narnia: Who You Are.

 

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7. They say you can change a habit by doing something else for 21 days, is it the same for our beliefs?

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8. I think we have all had those moments where we feel we need to contact someone even though we haven’t heard from them when these arise they may contact you out of the blue: As you Are.

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9. Peace cannot happen through the use of weapons, books are another matter.

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10. It’s up to us because we can, It’s our time – Rod Williams: What About Us.

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11. What history are you on the planet to make?

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12. Remember to breathe next time we meet: The night we Meet.

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13. Even for the mountain climbers, this is true.

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14. And that which we are is Enough, always Enough: Never Enough.

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15. And I finish with the quote I have on the side of my altar, often credited to Nelson Mandela, but actuaally it’s from Marianne Williamson here.

Debbie says – I like to think of it in terms of energy. Imagine having a hundred different electrical outlets in our chests. Each outlet represents a different quality. The qualities we acknowledge and embrace have cover plates over them. They are safe, no electricity runs through them, But the qualities that are not okay with us, which we have not yet owned, do have a charge. So when others come along who act out one of these qualities they plug right into us. She finishes the paragraph with the line: It is only when you’re lying to yourself or hating some aspect of yourself that you’ll get an emotional charge from someone else’s behaviour. So it’s up to you to keep working on those areas and install a cover plate.

The music for today begins in the past with Duran Duran and Texan singer Guy Clark. We then return to this century with Jessie J. A recent discovery of mine, Rag and Bone Man is next, then the versatile Pink. Someone new to me, Lord Huron follows finishing with one of the magnificent tunes from The Greatest Showman soundtrack.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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Not all Superheroes wear Capes!!


My sister and I take my 89 year old mum op shopping every Tuesday, for those across the seas think Thrift shop shopping. Recently I realised that I have many friends who are motherless who are much younger than me. My birth-name is Rodney Paul Williams and my mum is one of two people who call me Rodney, the other being a friend I have come back in contact with after 30 years when I used to call myself that name.

When you are 89 you sometimes forget what you have said and when reading our families reunion book mum takes pleasure in reminding me I was a very shy child, about every five minutes. I used to get frustrated but realise that she is showing her love as best she can. So what do we write about our dear Mums that make it into the quotes section of Google Images, lets begin the journey.

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1. They are the people who carry us in their womb for 9 months, harbouring us until we are ready to enter the world and begin our journey, and yes, they are everywhere.

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2. During one of my mental health issues, I argued with my mother that people didn’t care and that I was going to go away. She wouldn’t let me leave and rang the local mental health team so that I received the treatment I needed at the time. They are our Guardian Angels

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3. I’m sure at times with the issues that children go through in their lives, their mothers may feel this. But whose name do people call out in periods of extreme fear.

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4. It used to make me wonder how women felt about giving their career up to become a mother. My friend Mary says it was the most beautiful period of her life. A Mother’s Prayer.

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5. Abraham Lincoln ; (February 12, 1809 – April 15, 1865) was the 16th President of the United States, serving from March 1861 until his assassination in April 1865. Lincoln led the United States through its Civil War—its bloodiest war and its greatest moral, constitutional, and political crisis.In doing so, he preserved the Union, abolished slavery, strengthened the federal government, and modernised the economy. Even presidents of the most powerful nation on the planet love their mothers.

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6. During my years of health issues, I could always go home and my mum would heal me with her love. Mother Knows Best.

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7. I was lucky enough to experience the joy of watching my sisters children fall asleep in her arms. They are now 30 and 25. My time fly’s by quickly

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8. There are periods in our life where we rely entirely on them, then the period we wish they would leave us alone, and then we return to the love as we begin to fear that we will lose them for ever. This happens all across the World : Elderly Mother- Chinese.

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9. In that period we do not see eye to eye with our parents, Our heart is what began beating in the womb: our heart knows best.

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10 Terri Guillemets is a quotation anthologist from Phoenix, Arizona who has collected quotes since age thirteen. Her passion is sharing literary, inspirational, thought-provoking, and humorous quotations with a worldwide audience via her website The Quote Garden at http://www.quotegarden.com, one of the most long-standing online quotation collections and the first to offer a wide variety of special occasion topics. With a speciality in reviving vintage writings from the 1800s, she shares her love of old books, the art of writing, and the beauty of words with a personal, heartfelt approach — “spreading quotations joy” as she calls it. A curmudgeonesque optimist whose inner child will never grow up, she also enjoys nature, photography, cloud gazing, and family. Another one from across the planet A Mother’s Love

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11. And then there are times one must have a laugh at the relationship.

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12. Rumi is the most famous Persian poet so we must Have a Persian Mothers Love song: Mother.

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13. We come out of the womb with wonder for the whole world. No racism, no sexism, no homophobia. It is the guidelines our mother and father give us that help  us show up in life.

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14. I remember the times we would get home from school and there would be gifts waiting when we least expected it. So each year I thank Gaia that my dear old mum has reached another : Happy Mothers Day.

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15. Did you know mother was an acronym. 

I’m sure there are times we have not felt this about our dear mothers, but our heart holds the memory of the womb and still having my mother at 62 years of age as an 89 year old shaman I regret those times.

Namaste until nest time, my dear friends.

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I will Play while Unleashing!!


Missed last Thursday, I was getting ready for a retreat I attended on the weekend called Unleashing the Dragon. It was with my mentor Arion Light through his Activation School. The school’s motto is What you Embody, You Create. It is body work that  revolutionises how you come alive, heal & create. Dropping mental force creating and instead taps into the power of creating from an awakened body and your inner essence.

The definition of unleashing has two meaning in the dictionary:

unleash – 
  1. release (a dog) from a leash.
    “they dig up badger setts and unleash terriers into them”
    synonyms: let loose, release, free, set free, loose, unloose, unbridle, untie, untether, unchain,unbind, unshackle, unmanacle; More

    2. cause  force to be released or become unrestrained.
    The latter was more what we were dealing with on the weekend although at times it felt like the former and my body is quite sore today.

So what does the world have to say about the noble art of unleashing, there are many derivatives so lets have a look at a few:

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1. For more than 40 years, Jim Rohn honed his craft like a skilled artist-helping people the world over sculpt life strategies that have expanded their imagination of what is possible. Those who had the privilege of hearing him speak can attest to the elegance and common sense of his material. It is no coincidence, then, that he is widely regarded as one of the most influential thinkers of our time, and thought of by many as a national treasure. He is famous for down to earth quotes as well. 

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2. Deep Inside You, many people got to discover this as they unleashed the dragon hiding in their caves. for some it was power, others rage, for some their sexuality and others their tenderness. Try a little Tenderness.

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3. We actually saw people break through those fears that had been holding them back, an act of pure courage. 

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4. Things we do not confront build up pain in our bodies, it takes up more and more space unless you unleash it. Time to Start Over Again.

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5. Sai Marie Johnson is a creative concept designer, graphics artist, activist writer, and author of several series. A mother of four children, and the proud wife of a US Army Veteran Sai enjoys many different activities. The owner of a dachshund, and two lovely cats Sai is an animal lover, and a woman who simply calls herself, “A woman with a dream, and a pen.” Here she is writing about to be careful about what you allow to unleashed by our governments.

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6. Another way of saying unleash is to liberate, remember you are Awesome. It’s For the Good Times.

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7. What we each unleashed on the weekend was a mystery to us, even though we were called to have an intention.

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8. Another reason to be unleashed, actually 12 of them. Helps with the Communication in your life.

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9. We went deep into the pockets of our fears and as this quote say, all that now remains is us. There are always fears to work on.

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10. My mind knows a lot, and then there is a saying You don’t know what you don’t know, go there: Who You Are.

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11. OMG, I love lists, here is a great one.

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12. People had some sexy names on the weekend, here’s another, Ricardo Housham has his own quote page : Make your Move.

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13. The greatest Love I have got from fairy tales is to believe in Unicorns, I have friends that I swap Unicorn pictures with.

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14. Besides being a magnificent facilitator Arion is an awesome poet, here is one of his offerings:

 Precious love, you are beautiful. I know that you cling to that steering wheel because you think all manner of bad things will happen if you let go, but I want to let you know its ok, that controlling everything is not much of a life for me or you. 
Yes life can be harsh and brutal, but control doesn’t protect from that anyway, and here is the most beautiful thing….. Even though it feels like death to move to the back seat, it is so much more than that. Yes a certain rigidity dies, but you precious mind, can’t die, you are luminous brilliance and when you can let go of that steering wheel, in time your shell will crack away and your true nature of genius and light will be revealed.
 So my love, let go, come and rest in the back of the bus, I have installed a jacuzzi and all you have to do is relax. I love you so much.

It’s Poetry in Motion.

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15. Three words, YOU ARE ALLOWED, Unleash that dragon. This saying I acknowledge my other mentor and my Anam Cara,  Emili Paulo. Here is a link to her work: Collective Potential

As I said in the beginning there are many cuts at Unleashing, be mindful about which ones you do or just go for it, both of these types of advise where given at the end of the weekend.

Namaste until next Thursday, I promise, my dear friends.

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