Tough Times Never Last, Tough People Do!!!


So, I promised a friend I would write this blog about how I was feeling, my identity is resisting it because I am not feeling full of possibility, I spoke to my mentor about it and he pointed out that the only way out of it was in. So here goes.

I feel stuck as I am basically doing what I was two to three years ago and my soul feels there is meant to be more to life than that. I went to one of my sources of inspiration, my friend Marc Chernoff and found an article 16 Harsh Truths That Make You Stronger. This is the shortened version of how it goes:

It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than dominate them, more manhood or womanhood to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind -Alex Karras.

1. Life is not easy. Hard work makes people lucky – It’s the stuff that brings dreams to reality.

2. You will fail sometimes – The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant.

3. Right now, there’s a lot you don’t know – the day you stop learning is the day you stop living.

4. There may not be a tomorrow – Not for everyone.

5. There’s a lot you can’t control – You can’t control everything in your life no matter how many safeguards you put into place.

6. Information is not true knowledge – Knowledge comes from experience.

7. You can’t be successful without providing value -Don’t waste your time trying to be successful, spend your time creating value.

8. Someone else will always have more than you – Whether it’s money, friends or magic beans that you’re collecting, there will always be somebody who has more than you.

9. You can’t change the past – You can’t change what happened, but you can change how you react to it.

10. The only person who can make you happy is you – The root of your happiness comes from your relationship with yourself.

11. There will always be people who don’t like you – You can’t be everything to everyone.

12. You won’t always get what you want – Appreciate the things you have right now. Many people aren’t so lucky.

13. In life, you get what you put in – If you want love, friends, give love, be friendly.

14. Good friends will come and go – Most of your high school friends won’t be part of your Uni life.

15. Doing the same exact thing every day hinders self-growth – If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.

16. You will never feel 100% ready for something new – Nobody ever feels 00% ready when an opportunity arises.

Typing number 15 made me shudder, I have been in this rut for at least a week and keep telling my self I do not know the way out, which I know not to be true. So what does the world say about being in a rut and its effect on one, lets have a look:

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1. I recommenced my daily walks today and am attended a Warrior Code session tonight, they are designed to shake you up.

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2. I’ve set up a dinner with my siblings, they definitely do this: Glad To Be Alive.

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3. Much to much comfort, why do I feel so bad then?

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4. Take a dose, and the medicine goes down: A Spoonful of Sugar.

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5. It’s how you relate to it that gives it the wonder.

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6. It’s not always a win/win situation, how would we learn if it was: Seven Years.

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7. It’s difficult to be what you are not.

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8. At the top of my list at the moment: Rut.

9. Enoch Arnold Bennett was an English writer of the late 19th and early 20th centuries. He is best known as a novelist, but he also worked in other fields such as the theatre, journalism, propaganda and films.

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10. I’m taking up the invitation: Grow As We Go.

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11. Time for some explanation.

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12. Time to stop waiting to be rescued and found: Who You Are.

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13. Shayne’s Pinterest bio reads Author and Always the Good Girl. A firm believer in happy endings. Refuse to let your past define you. Be strong, take control, change your life.

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14. Including yourself: Rise Up.

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15. And our final lesson comes from running coach Ben Rosario, that it is the journey to your goals and dreams that got you there, so remember to have fun.

To me, the only difference between an opportunity and an obstacle is attitude. Getting a second chance in life is about giving myself the opportunity to grow beyond my past failures, It’s time to positively adjust my attitude toward future possibilities.

The playlist starts with some healing medicine from Teddy Prendergast and Marry Poppins. Then there are three pensive tracks from Lukas Graham, The Killers and Ben Platt. The penultimate track is Jessie J and we complete with some soul from Andra Day: Tough Times Never Last, Tough People Do.

So being in touch with my ethos for the world: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included on a daily basis is the practice I will choose to climb out of this rut. Until we meet again my dear friends.

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You Can Never Go Back!!!


After doing 9 transformational workshops in 2018 it has been a bit quiet on that front this year. Just my first stop year-long training Warriors of Love with the Essence School: For your edification up until now. I have completed a one-day vulnerability workshop and the amazing Awakening Connections. Level Two in the past two weeks. Both provided a new level of being alive. Here is the mission of Awakening Connections:

We believe that at our human core our greatest longing is to be seen, felt and heard by those we love.
Awakening Connections is a new paradigm of relating that empowers people to come into deeper wholeness, love and truth.
We know a world exists where humans feel enlivened within themselves which in turn creates an opening for healthy, sexy and inspired relationships.
Relationships with self and others are the most challenging emotional experiences we face, asking us to continually evolve and grow.
We give people the ability to really step into and navigate the challenges we face and turn them into gold.
Awakening Connections celebrates the journey of relationship through embracing both its ecstatic potential as well as the gritty, real and raw nature of the human experience.
It’s time to create extraordinary relationships, are you ready?
Did they deliver on this, I would have to say FUCK YES in spades. For privacy reasons, even though as adults we did not have this agreement to reveal the contents of the course I will reveal the last practice at the end of this blog. But lets have a look at what society has said about the values of transformational experiences over time:
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1. Yes, he is a chef, a quite famous one, but this so relates to our lives.
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2. Have you seen that meme of the guy on the bike riding what we think life is like and the one below with the entangled ball of string that represents what life is truly like, this is saying the same thing, be courageous: Live Your Life.
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3. Sir Richard’s take on it.
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4. This was written quite a while ago, to me he is still speaking the truth: Free.
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5. From the world’s best-known cardigan wearer comes this powerful statement on transformation.
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6. I think it says Patti Smith, not sure: Because The Night.
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7. My man Thich Nhat Hanh, you rock.
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8. We discussed trust and safety quite a bit over the four days of the journey: Surrender.
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9. Lot’s of Heart opening too.
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10. I had the privilege of seeing one of the other participant’s souls, it was an ecstatic experience: Soul Sacrifice.
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11. What is wonderful about this type of workshop is you can go the whole gamut of life from rage to silence and this is what is provided.
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12. From ancient China is the offering of the whole world when it lands in your soul: We are the Champions.
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13. Welcome to your new career, my fellow participants.
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14. So here is a song that was played towards the end, not nearly loud enough. This song is meant to be so loud it rocks your soul: Lust for Life.
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15. And for the final lesson, this is what transformational experiences do. It turns the numbness and the noise down. And you get to hear your soul’s passion.
On the final day, we gave up our old lives, asked our partner to hold our old fears, mine was: Will you hold my Neediness of and total mistrust of women, she accepted. We walked down the aisle and my new vows are:
I vow to stand in my power, I vow to be a legendary lover, I vow to do what it takes to get the job done, I vow to have an open heart at all times, I vow to let love in and I vow to be part of healing the planets pain schisms through spreading Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included across the Globe.
The playlist today begins in the now and then goes back to the past to some of the classic transformational anthems: We begin with T.I. and Rhianna, moving on to Rudimental and Emeli Sande. Patti Smith then rocks your world, back further to the king Elvis. Then we complete with two out of the final three tracks being my all-time favourites. Santana from Woodstock, Google it if you don’t know what Woodstock was, followed by Queen telling you who you are, then completing with Iggy Pop as we did on the final day, remember as loud as possible: You Can’t Go Back.
So if you get to create your vows in such a supportive bubble your life with be different from the moment you take them. Thank you so much, Alley, Shaney and Jared, we owe you big time. Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included.

Why Walk When You Can Dance!!!


I made chai for Mojo, The Dance of Connection over the weekend. I have been chaistro for four different dances over the past month: Mojo, Dancing Freedom, Ecstatic Dance and Resonance Project. Here, in Melbourne Australia, we have a vibrant conscious dance scene which I love being part of. I hold that dance is one of the true forms of healing available on the planet. It has existed longer than language and takes us to states that words alone cannot.

Each dance is different: Mojo, to me, is the dance of healing where people get to be touched in a safe, loving manner during the forest and if they fulfil the request to dance with a different partner each track, they get to examine their relationship to connecting with others: How to contact Mojo. Dancing Freedom is more a personal shamanic transformational dance through the elements the earth is made from, you are a little bit different after each journey: How to contact Dancing Freedom. Ecstatic Dance each fortnight brings you diverse rhythms beats and melodies to attune your Body, Mind and Soul to: How to contact Ecstatic Dance. Resonance Project brings together an evening of 5Rhythms embodiment and sound medicine magic, a full sensory experience for you to journey deep and invite transformation of the highest frequency. It includes a guest musician as well: How to contact Resonance Project.

So there was dance before language, what have we said about it since we learned to speak, read and write, here are a few of my favourites:

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1. The Hebrew Bible is not somewhere I would expect to find this quote praising dance.

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2. Passion, turn to the left, hold on that’s: Fashion.

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3. My Happy Place.

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4. I just had to look up who Marilyn Ferguson was after reading this fantastic quote, A founding member of the Association of Humanistic Psychology, Ferguson published and edited the well-regarded science newsletter Brain/Mind Bulletin from 1975 to 1996. Her acquaintances included Bucky Fuller, Ram Dass and Al Gore: Let’s Dance

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5. Considered one of the most innovative dancers of the last century, Isadora Duncan began teaching dance in her teens, unfortunately, she suffered one of the most bizarre causes of death when her scarf went around her cars axle.

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6. Transcend the limitations of our self – what a beautiful description of ecstatic dance: Desert Dwellers at Burning Man.

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7. All hail the teachers of dance that exist on the planet.

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8. They have them, they are just made out of gossamer: Fly.

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9. We dance for all the things!!!

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10. And for me, it is always an honour: Waiting for Love.

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11. How true is this in a dancers world, very in mine.

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12. I feel so sorry for the deaf ones, they do not know what they are missing out on: My friend Suebee Fae.

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13. In all its forms: folk, ballet, conscious, line, rock and roll, swing, etc. etc. etc.\

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14. Even the cardiganed one has something to say about it: Dance Monkey.

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15. Our final lesson on the dance comes from an extraordinary source: Margaretha Geertruida “Margreet” MacLeod, better known by the stage name Mata Hari, was a Dutch exotic dancer and courtesan who was convicted of being a spy for Germany during World War I and executed by firing squad in France.

So as you may have guessed dancing is one of my passions, I have fallen in love with my friends Marc and Angel Chernoff’s lists again: Here are some questions on passion to make you think.

1. What will you never give up on?

2. What activities make you lose track of time?

3. What’s something you would do for every day if you could?

4. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

5. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

6. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

7. What is something you would hate to go without for a day?

8. Would you rather have less work to do or more work you actually enjoy doing?

9. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

I have tried to include some more obscure tracks beside the classic tracks about dance in the playlist today. We begin with David Bowie twice, yes, one of them is that track. From The Desert Dwellers next is a sunrise set then we fly with Marshmello. Avicii lays down the next track and then my friend from Byron Shire, Suebee Fae features. We end with a track from Ireland by the Tones and I: Why Walk When You Can Dance!!!

Remember to signup to receive these blogs in your email box if you enjoy them, we can dance our way to a new world ethos: Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until we meet again my dear friends.

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It’s About Breaking Down The Walls


I am starting to get a lot of information in my Facebook news feed as to what makes a man a real man, I was in my local library the other day when I saw the updated version of Steve Biddulph’s visionary book Manhood first released in 1998, now called the New Manhood: Love, Freedom, Spirit and the New Masculinity and re-released in 2015. I discovered a review of the book which sums how I see the situation, written by a phycologist named Katja:

Just reading the first ten pages of this book will probably be enough to leave you in no doubt – we in the Western world have a serious problem with men. Lonely, frustrated, confused, unhappy men. Men who can’t express their emotions and either numb them or channel them in negative and violent ways towards women, children, and other men. Men whose identities are tied up in their careers, because they never learned that there were any other options. Men whose fathers were authoritarian, cold, distant, abusive, or absent, and who are perpetuating those same patterns in their own families. Particularly affecting is the section in which Biddulph explores where we as a society got our modern conception of “manliness” – and where, frankly, it all started to go wrong. If this book impresses upon you one message, it is that our concept of manhood has become warped, constricted, deranged – and is in desperate need of re-evaluation. The fact that this is just as much the case as 20 years ago when it was written is extremely worrying. Biddulph doesn’t mince words – he cuts straight to the point and tells it like it is, succinctly but deeply exploring the problems of modern manhood, with a writing style that is refreshing and at times devastatingly emotional. So much so that the friend who lent it to me said that it made him cry – and if you think there’s anything wrong with that, then this book is for you in particular! Here is a link to the book: The New Manhood.

All over the world movements are arising to shift this, in my hometown, Melbourne we have one-day events called Isle of Men and a three-day retreat called Menergy, they are for men to attend to become a better man for themselves, their partners, their children, their families and their friends. So what has the world said about masculinity over the years, let’s take that journey:

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1. Withholding causes emotional and physical pain on an ongoing basis.

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2. Little Boxes, Little Boxes all in a row: Mask Off.

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3. What one could call living a complete life, not ignoring the hard parts.

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4. Wrong-way, go back: A Woman’s Worth.

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5. Boom!!!

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6. The shadow and the light, Its all part of the deal: Shadow of The Day.

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7. If this irritates you, its time to begin the journey.

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8. The journey from the mind to the heart and back again – a great start: Jar of Hearts.

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9. I am 65, I only learnt this in my last five years, it is very freeing.

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10. Both M and F words, but they have totally different meanings and distinctions attached to them: Breaking Free.

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11. Repeat after me, It is not given to you.

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12. The film industry has a lot to answer for: Gangsta’s Paradise.

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13. Because I can.

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14. Fuck, this is good: In My Feelings.

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15. And for our final lesson in masculinity, who is the greatest victim, time to go and look in your mirror.

Each chapter has a quote at the beginning, I thought I would finish with a few:

You and your father: Oh will you never return to see, your bruised and battered sons? Oh, I would, I would, if welcome I were for they loathe me everyone – Traditional Folk Song.

Real Sex: Slowly, Slowly in bed with a woman, I am learning to be human – Jesse Kornbluth

From Boy to Man: Between childhood, boyhood, adolescence and manhood there should be sharp lines drawn with tests, feats, rites, stories, songs and judgements – Jim Morrison.

You would think a playlist about masculinity would be all men lamenting on the subject, not so. There is quite a bit of rap though. We begin with Future who is followed by Alicia Keys. Linkin Park gets quite dark next then Christina Perri and Ruby Rose have their say. Back to rap to finish with Coolio and Drake: It’s about breaking down the Walls.

In the steps forward I have seen in the men’s movement in my country I hold great hope for my ethos: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until we meet again my dear friends.

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From Where We Are, There Is Always a Pathway to Love!!!


So, its the day after the Warriors of Love retreat and a feel many kilos of dross lighter. We looked at the power of choice in quite a rigorous and at time lighthearted way. I picked up a new nickname to go along with Tiny Tim and DF, I have to use the initials as the whole name and story behind it would not pass #Metoo guidelines these days. The latest addition is Naughty Boy. Here is some info about the Warriors of Love: Enter the Portal.

We worked with the distinctions The Loop and As it Is and What I Choose. I struggled with this for quite a time as the concept there are always consequences after making a choice got in the way. I got it in the end though.

So how has humanity worded choice over the centuries, let’s take that journey:

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  1. This quote is talking to you , not your circumstances.

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2. This is an ongoing inquiry that ends when they throw the dirt on your coffin: The Path to Wisdom.

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3. Two words, great list.

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4. All hail Queen Oprah: Every Sperm Is Sacred.

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5. Probably been replaced with the word journalling these days.

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6. Trust the gut feeling and get the fuck out of there: Diamonds.

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7. Luckily for me, my siblings are amongst my dearest friends, are yours?

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8. What if you daily choices were that free: How Far I’ll Go.

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9. Your awesomely wonderful life isn’t choosing, your heart-space is.

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10. Blogger turned New York Times best-selling author and speaker Mandy Hale is the creator of the social media movement, “The Single Woman.” With a heart to inspire single women to live their best lives and to never, ever settle, Mandy cuts to the heart of the matter with her inspirational, straight-talking, witty, and often wildly humorous take on life and love. Mandy’s message reaches literally millions of women across the world every day through her blog, books, and social media platforms: I am Woman.

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11. I found this one on consequences.

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12. How many day and moments do you choose this: Can’t Stop The Feeling.

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13. When was that again, Today?

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14. Feeling life instead of just attending it, that would be novel: Freedom.

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15. And for your final lesson, realise that where you choices take you is your own unique journey, the one meant for you.

We will finish with one of my friend Marc Chernoff’s lists, Ten Timeless Lessons/Choices from a Life Well Lived:

  1. Happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed.
  2. Be a student of life every day.
  3. Experience is the best teacher.
  4. Your choices, your actions, your life.
  5. No one is “too busy” It’s all about priorities.
  6. Be patient and tough. Someday this pain will be useful to you.
  7. It’s usually better to be kind than be right.
  8. You can become a . magnet for good things by wishing everybody well.
  9. Only you are in charge of your attitude.
  10. Satisfaction is not always the fulfilment of what you want.

I have taken up the practice of including a relative unknown song on the playlist. Its begins todays and is by Mr. 48 Alec Verkuilen.  The next track speaks to the light side of the weekend and is by the Monty Python crew. Then back to my beloved pop divas with a number by Rihanna. A track from a musical follows from Auli’i Cravalho. An ode to women from Jordin Sparks is before the penultimate track by Justin Timberlake and we finish with the iconic Beyonce: From Where We Are, There is Always a Pathway To Love.

Remember to sign up to the email miss so you don’t miss out on my latest blogs. Each is based in Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included:

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F.L.Y. – First Love Yourself!!


I have begun writing my blogs about how I feel about things in my life, I don’t want to write about having a cold or a dodgy knee so that leaves self-love. I went and saw my mentor Arion for my weekly session and as always he asked me what did I want to discuss. I said I would like to discuss why I am finding it hard to feel my ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included throughout my body.

He replied, but that is who you are for your friends and family. We went through a list of people and places I am a part of, he asked me if I asked them was I an example of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included what would they say about me, I had to admit that they would probably say I was. So the next question was if 99 people were saying this about me that why was I not getting the message, this is when the old warhorse lack of self-love raised itself through my body.

It’s interesting the decisions we make as young children, I don’t remember coming to don’t allow yourself to be loved, because you will have to leave from moving a lot but at times it controls me. Loaded up with some breathwork exercises, I headed to the local library to sit in the rooftop garden and contemplate the session. It made me think what have the mystics and soothsayers said about self-love over the decades, here are some of them:

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1. Lending his popular voice to various topics, Steve’s books, quotes, videos, and memes have become a social media sensation; being shared by millions across the globe in more than 25 languages.

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2. I’m a step from this, I feel: Conceited.

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3. I forgot the last line on my tattoo.

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4. As is each of us: Irreplaceable.

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5. Dodinsky’s home page has been hacked by a casino site, Love this quote.

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6. Makes me think of that civil war statement, Rebel Yell: Rebel Yell.

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7. Has to be some Brene in the mix.

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8. Somewhere, Everywhere: Somewhere Over The Rainbow.

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9. Marvel comics know this relates to both women and men.

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10. Some of the really tough work, mirror work: I’m Still Standing.

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11. Not surprisingly I became Community Manager of a company called Collective Potential.

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12. This is because you actually have boundaries when you love yourself: Emotional Boundaries are Important.

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13. Perfection, the ultimate booby prize.

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14. Supposedly they are already there: Loving You.

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15. The final lesson, don’t devalue yourself.

Writing this has made me feel a lot better, time to look at the evidence, not listen to identity.

There are two great yells in the playlist today, and we may double the views of the young woman who has been viewed a mere 35 times. We begin with rap diva Remy Ma, then four icons from totally different era follow. Beyonce, Billy Idol, Ariana Grande and Elton John make them up. Then the little known Nadia Nelson and we finish with a classic from the 1970s by Minnie Riperton: F.L.Y. – First Love Yourself

I’m learning to include myself in Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until we meet again my dear friends.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

 

 

Let Go of Your Mind and Then Be Mindful!!


I have been missing for a while, firstly a cold then a very painful knee that had me sitting very still for about a week. I returned to life by attending a Waking the Warrior workshop run by my friend and mentor Arion Light, if you are interested in Warrior of Love work here is the link to WOL land: Warriors of Love.

We travelled a journey that began in the Immature male, I could list the characteristics but give my readers enough intelligence to work them out for themselves. Starting here was to exemplify what hanging around there a lot costs you. We then moved onto the Mature Feminine, that part of our life that is often known as our intuition. Picking up the gifts from here allows us to move through the area our identity that you can hang out in for days and days, that of the immature feminine. As we are empowered by the mature feminine we learn to not hang around here as long and move on to that area of life that completes our Warriors of Love, the mature masculine, that enables you to get those things done you have wished to your whole life.

So are the distinctions Feminine energy and Masculine energy new to the planet, I went on a search via Google to see what had been produced, here are some of my favourites:

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1. From Sai Baba land we get this very succinct definition.

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2. I like how they have balanced the two energies in this meme: Balance

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 3. Kundalini was first mentioned during the 3rd to 9th centuries BCE in India, so the concept has been around for a very long time.

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4. Author of 18 books over a 40 year period Shakti Gawain is considered an expert on vibrational energies: Dance of the Sacred Union.

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5. This is the cost of the Immature male being dominant I was talking about.

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6. All contained within the one vessel, yours truly: All I Want.

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7. To acknowledge all four areas exist and keep moving between them.

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8. Immature, Mature, Toxic, Divine: whatever words work for you: Human.

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9. I liked the image, the quotes good too.

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10. Another oldie from the Buddha. This is one of the takeaways I got from the workshop, thanks Arion: Focus.

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11. Love the logic of this one.

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12. It’s very hard to be somewhere else than where you are: Whenever, Where-ever.

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13. I thought this was a great reminder not to become am immature, mature junkie.

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14. All is needed, the immature, the mature, the toxic, the divine: Light My Fire.

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15. And for our final lesson on the feminine and masculine is the addition of a powerful tool, that of the art of hugging the two together and passing on a gift to another so they can see the possibilities they may have missed.

I forgot to mention the four areas were drawn on top of your tree of life so that having power in them increased the power of your roots and branches in life. Funnily the workshop took place at a beautiful retreat centre called Vines and Branches.

Today’s playlist contains a song that has a mere 200 plays and one that has over 500.000.000 plays. Have a guess before you listen. We begin with two relative unknowns to me, Timaya and Anu Sophia Ra El. Then Kodaline followed by the deep tones of Rag and Bone Man. Two pop divas belt their songs out next, Ariana Grande and Shakira. We complete with The Doors: Let Go of Your Mind and Then Be Mindful!!

It’s not about being balanced 100% of the time but the journey. Add some Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included and who knows where the planet could end up. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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