What the Fuck is Intimacy, anyway?


I spent the day with the remarkable woman who has come into my life. In new relationships often the sexual side of it is what is most relevant, as the lust factor is high. The question I asked her before I went there last night was would she read me the bible, as she is a woman of faith. She agreed, and it didn’t happen as many other wonderful things did.

What is intimacy, anyway? Here is a shot at four different types:

  • Experiential Intimacy: When people bond during leisure activities. People may “sync up” their actions in teamwork or find themselves acting in unison.
    • Example: A father and son work together to build a model train, developing a rhythm to their teamwork.
  • Emotional Intimacy: When people feel safe sharing their feelings with each other, even uncomfortable ones.
    • Example: A woman confides in her sister about her body image issues. She trusts her sibling to offer comfort rather than using her insecurities against her.
  • Intellectual Intimacy: When people feel comfortable sharing ideas and opinions, even when they disagree.
    • Example: Two friends debate the meaning of life. They enjoy hearing each other’s opinions and don’t feel the need to “win” the argument.
  • Sexual Intimacy: When people engage in sensual or sexual activities. When people use the word “intimacy,” they are often referring to this type.
    • Example: Two lovers engage in foreplay, knowing how each other prefers to be touched.

So can you guess what we did? We did the dishes, set up a piece of furniture, discussed how we were feeling and why was, mainly me resisting being present to it, massaged each other, cleaned the stovetop and went for an hours walk. It was serene and magnificent in its intimacy.

How does the world relate to intimacy, lets walk down that road together:

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1. I met you six years ago. It was definitely worth the wait.

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2. When I reach this plateau, my body tingles all over: Soul Kind of Feeling.

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3. A writer of words, a poetic soul, an emotive expressionist, Ranata Suzuki is a poet and quote writer whose eloquent words form with painful clarity the sad yet beautiful world of the broken heart. An anonymous writer based in Sydney, Australia, Ranata is known only by her avatar of a bird carrying a book.

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4. How does the end of someone’s hair, become erotic. It’s easy in the land of intimacy: What Am I?

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5. I confess I have made those 3am texts.

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6. Especially now in lockdown in Melbourne, Australia we have to wear a mask when we leave the house: Bette Davis Eyes.

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7. When you get into this kind of intimacy sex feels redundant at times.

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8. Be weird with me, baby: Love is a Battlefield.

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9. We did this for part of our walk today.

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10. At times, I caught myself falling into hers when she looked back at me: Soul Man.

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11. And then there is the ultimate love, love of self.

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12.  I am actually feeling the I Love You’ in my heart, Yum: I Love You.

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13. And it takes work to achieve this state, AS Katie Byron says, time to do Te Work.

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14. Snap: Hurt.

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15. I took trust out of the picture, she told me to fuck off until I had got the cost of this in our relationship, lucky for me she has an awesome heart.

So I am on a journey of intimacy, perhaps for the first time truly in my 66-year-old life, it feels magnificent.

Today’s playlist begins with an Australian classic from the Dynamic Hepnotics, followed by Edie Bricknell and the New Bohemians. Two classic female rockers from last century are next, Kim Carnes and Pat Benetar. Sam and Dave then lay some funky R and B on us. We move back into the present with Billy Ellish and complete with the Man in Black, Johny Cash: What the Fuck is Intimacy, Anyway?

So the purpose of my ethos for the world: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included is to have more intimacy available in the world. Until we meet again my dear friends.

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How Can You Mend A Broken Heart!!!


You may have noticed my past 5 blogs have been about growing friendship with my friend Amy. It moved quickly and then spectacularly into becoming lovers against all the reasons the world tells you that a friendship between two people 28 years apart in age should. Being used to a single life, where you domestic actions didn’t have a lot of repercussions to being in a partnership saw me totally do some things that have unfortunately taken it from you are the greatest lover I have ever had and talk about moving in together to stop treating me like I am your mother in a period just greater than 24 hours.

Did we really love each other, yes we did, but I allowed my actions to move our relationship from our hearts to her head. I sit here writing this close to tears and I have cried about ten times in my 66 years, my parents once sent me to a phycologist to see why I couldn’t during my teenage years, it didn’t resolve anything and I am still a non-crier basically. The only thing that shifted it was the joy I felt in my love for Amy, I would be sitting on a railway station and feel tears of joy welling up, very un Rod Williams like.

My relationship consultant friend who is also a phycologist advised that we should not contact each other for 30 days as to go from the passion of a ten to the lesser feelings of friendship, say a three to a five we had to journey through our grief and sadness at to what we had lost, as moments this sacred are rare in people’s lives. I fight with the urge daily to break this especially when Amy contacted me. I wanted to write platitudes how I would do anything to get back together, but this is the act of 17-year-old first love. I must admit after 12 years it did feel a bit like this for me.

I realise I could write 1,000s of words what this woman means to me, I will journal them later, so what has the world said about relationship breakdowns and broken hearts over the years. Let’s have a look:

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1. Oh, how I wished I could have stopped this occurring.

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2. Oh, how my heart yearns for this: How Can You Mend A Broken Heart.

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3. I love His Holiness quotes, but my heart does not want to agree with this one at all.

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4. Crossed fingers, but it fucking hurts so much at the moment: Don’t Judge Me.

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5. One of the things I did not do was break glass but forgetting to thank her most of the time was just as devastating.

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6. And to me, it is you: My Immortal.

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7. I am feeling this more and more as the pain slides away.

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8. I am not ready for Amy to do that yet, I may not be responsible for my reaction in the emotional state I am in at the present: Run Through The Jungle.

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9. This hurts in the I still love her zone.

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10. I was the storm: Riders On The Storm.

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11. I didn’t really do the second thing or did I, she has gone.

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12. I lost in the first round: Street Fighting Man.

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13. Ken oath.

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14. We talked about our families a lot: We are Family.

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15 And for our final lesson, well said Trent.

I spoke to a friend halfway through writing this for half an hour because I believe she has wisdom in this area. She advised me three things: 1. Take ownership for your part of the breakdown and look for the red flags that were there for it to happen. 2. Make agreements, keep them. If you are going to break them, communicate, communicate, communicate. 3. Take time to heal before you think about going back there, and do this day by day.

I am just doing these things now.

The playlist today is funk and rock and roll, we begin with the title track by The Bee Gees, then Chris Brown. Evanescence sneaks in this century’s rock track, then we go back in time to CCR, The Doors and the Rolling Stones. We complete with a ten minute epic by Chic and Sister Sledge, enjoy, it rocks: How can you mend a Broken Heart!!!

In my heartbreak, I have started a new tribe around my ethos Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. It is called Thriving People – People who wish to make a difference to Humanity, my intention is a 1,000,000 people take up the challenge, here is the link to join, I would love you too: Thriving People.

Until we meet again my dear friends.

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Is it for Life?


The joy of a new relationship!!! At the tender age of 65 one has entered my life. This one is special, sacred, even. Based on the premises of interpersonal therapy, it is about discovering your deeply held feelings, not the shallow on top immediate throwaway lines our identity serves up to protect us from really looking at what is going on for one.

I am naff at being with my anger with others, especially when I am angry with my new partner, I throw up frustration and sadness as my defences, seemingly unwilling to walk the depths of my anger, which makes her angrier with my seeming ineptness to journey in that particular area. We speak for hours at a time each day and go from deep love to telling each other to fuck off and never to speak to each other again. It is a mighty journey and warms my heart to the depth of my soul.

So why are I and so many people on the planet afraid of expressing their anger, which I am discovering more and more is healthy for one? What has the human race said about expressing anger over the years, here are a few of my favourite things:

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1. The simplicity of saying I feel angry and sitting with it and not making it go away instantly is a skill I am getting better at day by day.

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2. His holiness, a man who is depicted as never getting angry, has these wise words on the subject: His Holiness on Anger.

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3. And that patience is willing to stand in the anger and resolve what is causing it.

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4. Pushed down, this is what anger can cause in your body: Lose Yourself.

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5. Anger is where all the things hangout.

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6. Interpersonal Therapy is not easy but practised well, it is transformational: Dark Horse.

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7. As necessary as eating breakfast.

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8. And withholding and not growing in each moment, each interaction is not: Rolling In The Deep.

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9. Mine surfaces as pain and a headache across the front of my head.

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10. Amy is very skilled at this: Man Down.

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11. This is one of my faults in being with anger, I am cruel to myself a lot.

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12. And one way of doing this that. is very powerful is to sit inside the anger: Not Afraid.

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13. The power of working through feelings so there is growth from an interaction is extraordinary.

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14. And from the founder of Buddhism, comes this pearl: I’m Ready.

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15. And for our final lesson, we return to the Buddha again with a different but similar message.

Is it worth facing my anger to grow into the space that I feel is available in this relationship? I have never been more certain of something in my life. Will there be pain, yes. Will, there be joy at the breakthroughs, yes, and will there be suppressed anger rising to the surface, fuck yes.

The playlist begins with His Holiness, followed by Eminem. Three pop divas follow: Katie Perry, Adele and Rhianna. Back to Eminem and we finish the set with Sam Smith: Is it for Life?

We discussed what our passions were yesterday. What clearly came to the surface was that I am never going to fulfil my dreams of having the ethos: Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included whilst I am suppressing my anger in the world. Until we met again my dear friends.

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Who Really, Really knows you?


I was asked this question by a friend today when I looked I said my sisters Ruth and Jann. Amy then asked me what about your friends, I have 5000 Facebook friends and I would say one of them, my long time friend Clare who helped me through my recent mental health breakdown would be the closest. What is it that stops the human race letting people get close to them? I have an idea, I believe we stop telling each other what I call our Sacred Love Stories at an early age for fear of being hurt. These are the negative and positive stories about ourselves that go like this: If you knew this about me I would have to kill you and I am not boasting, I really went through or did this. I designed a workshop around the chakras using that technology but my if you knew this about me I would have to kill you got in the way of me ever running it.

What does it take to totally trust someone to be authentic and not withhold anything? I am learning how to do this and acknowledge Amy, who is allowing me to go on this journey with her. So what has society said about knowing the real you, lets have a look:

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1. Dale Evans Rogers (born Lucille Wood Smith; October 31, 1912 – February 7, 2001) was an American actress, singer, and songwriter. She was the third wife of singing cowboy Roy Rogers.

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2. I have been being taught this powerfully over the last week: You Really Got Me.

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3. Very relatable.

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4. And that the stories you make up in your head about the people in your life are not true until you get to deeply know them: Say It Right.

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5. Boom!!!

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6. Prayer is such a powerful healing tool: Praying.

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7. Warts and All comes to mind.

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8. And in front of the L-word do not forget to put the Self word: Rainbow.

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9. I think she is.

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10.. The whole kit and caboodle, that’s true love: Who You Are.

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11. I have found out lately I do this most of my waking moments.

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12. Another form of insomnia: You are the Reason.

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13. My new life contract.

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14. From one of civilisation’s great thinkers, This: Love Myself.

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15. And for our final lesson, we cross to Socrates best buddy, Plato.

No list as promised, Amy, just a deep sense of gratitude for your listening for me.

The playlist begins with a 60’s classic from The Kinks. Then we delve into pop diva land for the next four tracks: Nelly Furtado, Kesha twice and Jessie J. Over to C & W for the next track from Callum Scott and we complete with my most played song by Hailee Steinfeld: Who Really Really Knows You.

Another recent question has come to mind writing this, what would you say if you could say one thing to the world leaders, of course, Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included.

Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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Are you Enough?


How often have you asked yourself this question? They say that you make your prime decision about your life by the age of seven years old, then spend the rest of your life surviving it via therapy or being in the winner’s circle.

Over to my friend Marc Chernoff to provide a list that will support us in this area. It is called 12 choices your future self will thank you for:

When life pushes you over, stand up and push back even harder, when there is a fork in the road and choices to make, make the ones your future self will thank you for:

1. Choosing you – The most exhausting activity is pretending to be who you know you aren’t.

2. Appreciating what you have – Sometimes, when you make the most out of what you have, it turns out to be a lot more than you ever imagined.

3. Believing in yourself and your dreams – Believe in you. Listen to your soul.

4, Being positive – You can’t live a positive life with a negative attitude.

5. Taking action – The happiest and most successful people are usually those who have broken the chains of procrastination.

6. Letting Go – The biggest step in changing the world around you is to change the world within you.

7. Picking yourself back up – Sometimes when things go wrong it’s because they would have turned out worse if they had gone right.

8. Ignoring negative people – You are not a rug; some people may try to walk all over you, but you don’t have to lie there and take it.

9. Staying in touch with close friends and family – There comes a time in life you’ll have to leave everything behind for a while and start something new, but never forget the people who stood by your side.

10. Making time for fun – Fun is way underrated.

11. Spreading Love and Kindness – The happiness surrounding you is greatly affected by the choices you make every day.

12. Being the change you want to see in the world – Don’t tell others how to live; live and let them watch you.

So what has the human race said about being enough, let’s have a look

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1. Three powerful statements on self love there.

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2. Love the last line: Never Stop.

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3. Time to break down the walls.

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4. And to stop pretending: Worth It.

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5. Read the handwriting.

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6. Having these in your heart definitely brings out the strength in you: You Say.

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7. What a great name: Badass Warrior Queen.

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8. I love memes with hearts in them: Fight Song.

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9. Some powerful I statements here.

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10. Some great words from our curly-haired genius: Somewhere over the Rainbow.

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11. What are your personal avatars?

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12. All hail Brene: Love Myself.

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13. That why all the good books say self-love first and foremost.

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14. These boots are made for walking: Boots.

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15. And the last offering comes from the cardigan-wearing one, Eckhart Tolle reminding us of the treasure we all have within:

So choose to spread love to one person a day, beginning with yourself would be a grand idea. Imagine the amount of happiness you can spread in a lifetime, day by day.

Today on the playlist we have an all-women lineup. We have something for the young and not so young. Two bands unknown to me start us off. The Brand New Heavies and Fifth Harmony, both have millions of followers. Lauren Daigle and Rachel Platten belt out a couple of anthems next. Then back in time to Judy Garland, the penultimate number is from Hailee Steinfeld and we finish with Nancy Sinatra: Are You Enough?

This actually is take two of this blog, I got one quote from the end and poof, it disappeared. But I had to mention my ethos, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included and my ever-growing Facebook group calledInterculturalism. We would love you to join us to spread love and respect around the planet.

Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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Writing your Life Story!!!


A friend just liked a meme I posted on Facebook. Its says the following: 4 Things you can’t get Back- The stone after it’s thrown; the word after it’s said; the occasion after its missed; the time after it’s gone. As I reach Age pension eligibility in four weeks they have made me ponder my life.

I like what my friend Marc Chernoff has to say about writing a life story worth living. I love this paragraph: When writing the story of your life, don’t let someone else hold the pen. Make conscious choices every day that align your actions with your values and your dreams; the way you live each day is a sentence in the story of your life. Each day, you choose whether the sentence ends with a period, a question mark, or an exclamation mark.

Here are Marc’s ten suggestions for doing this:

1. Find a passion that makes you come alive.

2. Work hard on that passion.

3. Live happily in your own way.

4. Change your path when you must, but keep moving forward.

5. When the going gets tough, keep fighting.

6. Let go of the past and live consciously in the present.

7. Embrace new ideas, lessons, and challenges.

8. Appreciate the little things in life that mean a lot.

9. Live honourably through kindness.

10. Spend quality time with people you love.

So what has society said about storytelling over time, we have always done it:

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1. Yes, that diatribe in your head, that’s the story of your life.

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2. Yes, it is official, I have a crush on Maya Angelou: Maya on Words.

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3. How do you tell the world about your ideas?

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4. How’s the living going?: Staying Alive.

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5. A great reason for my ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included.

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6. Our stories have had the world evolve: World Turning.

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7. What do you do in creating your communities storyline?

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8. Remember as children how much we loved this, it is still available: Magic Carpet Ride.

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9. Love this quote,  well done Christina.

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10. Wise words from one of the most amazing storytellers to have lived, think the Mac, the iPod, the iPhone: Steve’s Stanford Speech.

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11. Ground Control, to Major Tom.

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12. Where have you travelled in your reading?: 500 Miles.

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13. When I think of the big items I have brought in my life, this is oh so true in every case.

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14. And the bridge takes you over: Bridge over troubled Waters.

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15. And for our final lesson, we call on Ira Glass, host of This American Life and All Things Considered.

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs, and what every great story has, are characters that come alive in the pursuit of something that inspires them.

The playlist contains words today. Firstly we have Maya Angelou, then The Bee Gees. Fleetwood Mac are next, followed by a 60’s classic by Steppenwolf. Lots of Words from Steve Jobs, his Stanford commencement speech. Then an anthem from the Proclaimers and we finish with the dulcet tones of John Legend: Writing you Life Story.

My life story, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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Smile at Strangers, We’re In This Together!!!


I have had a list on my kitchen wall called Key Statements, I don’t know why or when I wrote it, but here it is:

Don’t let an opportunity go by that that you can make a difference in.

Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included.

Don’t pull back from opportunities to explore the sexual world.

Don’t withhold your feelings for another, it will fester.

Ask, Ask, Ask.

Walk like the value is surging through your body.

I will release my empathic abilities to heal others.

I am a key member of the conscious Melbourne tribe.

Working on each of them at different levels at the moment, here are some things I could do to achieve them sooner:

  1. Take care of myself – Your relationship is the closest and most important relationship you will ever have.
  2. Do what I know is right, for ME – Don’t be scared to walk alone, and don’t be scared to like it.
  3. Follow my own unique path – Every new day is a chance to change your life.
  4. Lock myself away from the world and work on your goals – Dream big dreams, but realize that short term, realistic goals are the key to success.
  5. Adjust my goals and dreams as life changes – don’t forget that sometimes taking a positive step forward requires you to slightly adjust your dreams, or plan new ones – it’s OK to change your mind or have more than one dream.
  6. Forgive those who have wronged me – Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong and wise.
  7. Show everyone my love and kindness – If you are reserving your love only for those who you have decided are worthy of it – it may come as no surprise that is not loving, it is judgement.
  8. Stand up for others, even if it’s the unpopular thing to do – Sometimes you will say something really small and simple, but it will fit right into an empty space in someone’s heart.
  9. Fight through my failures – When I am feeling down or dealing with failure, don’t be ashamed.
  10. Keep my head held high and keep on smiling – Every day of your life is a page of your history.  The only time I run out of chances is when I stop taking them.

So what have people on the planet said about energy and how they use it, here are a few of my favourites:

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1. You have the opportunity to make it a better day for each person you come across, do that.

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2. Your first gut feeling is often incredibly accurate, trust it: Gut Feeling.

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3. You are your own personal lifesaver.

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4. Using the principles he teaches, T. Harv Eker went from zero to millionaire in only 2 1/2 years! He combines a unique brand of ‘street-smarts with heart’.

Eker’s high-energy, ‘cut-to-the-chase’ style keeps his audience spellbound. T. Harv Eker’s motto is “talk is cheap” and his unique ability is getting people to take “action” in the real world to produce real success: Can’t Stop The Feeling.

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5. What opus are you composing for your life?

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6. I love Prince Ea, check out his Youtube videos: Love Yourself.

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7. And then we have Oprah’s take on it.

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8. Heads or Tails: Love Myself.

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9. As can we, be an eagle in your life.

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10. And a piece of wisdom from the Man In Black: Your Own Personal Jesus.

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11. All you need is LOVE.

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12. A powerful line of study that will resolve much in your life: Energy.

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13. Shadow and Light, they travel together.

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14. The Chinese are great at profound proverbs: Winds of Change.

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15. And for our final lesson, this intriguing offering from Osho.

There are few joys in life that equal a good conversation, a good read, a good walk, a good hug, a good smile, or a good friend. As you empower your energy toy will have more and more opportunity to do this. One of my key statement is my ethos for the planet: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included, as I increase my energy it eventual occurrence comes closer and closer.

The playlist today has spoken word from Prince Ea, one of my faves. We start with Ella Mai and then bop along with Justin Timberlake. Prince Ea is next followed by pop diva Hailee Steinfeld. Then we finish with three male vocals: Johny Cash, Drake and Vance Joy: Smile at Strangers, We’re In This Together!!!

Until we meet again, my dear friends. Remember you can request these blogs in your inbox om the main page of I am an Interculturalist.

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Your job is not to be Perfect!!!


I went to my friends’ Australian citizenship ceremony on Australia day on Sunday. It a nice thing to do but it may me ponder as to why you have to say out loud I will uphold and obey the laws of the land. My friend said she crossed her fingers at this line. Why I pondered it is what if the laws of the land go against what is in your heart and soul and how boring would it be if every person in a country held the same value?

What should we care about as a human resident of our planet? Here is a list of some worthwhile things:

1. Start caring about your own happiness – It’s important to make people happy, but you have to start with yourself.

2. Start caring about your goals and dreams – If you want to know where your heart is, look where your mind goes when it wanders. 

3. Start caring about how you invest your time every day – There might not be a tomorrow, not for everyone.

4. Start caring about how you think and what you think about – In your quiet moments, what do you think about?

5. Start caring about how you treat yourself – Your relationship with yourself is the closest and most important relationship you will ever have.

6. Start caring about how you treat others – Live so that when the people around you think of fairness, caring and integrity, they think of you.

7. Start caring about how others treat you – Choose your relationships wisely.

8. Start caring about your health – Exercise to be fit, not skinny.

9. Start caring about your education and personal growth – Achieving higher consciousness comes from your commitment to personal growth.

10. Start caring about doing the BEST you can – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.

11. Start caring about all the wonderful things you have right now – Learn to appreciate the things you have before time forces you to appreciate the things you once had.

12. Start caring about this moment we call ‘life’ – Our whole life leads up to each new moment. Each moment is priceless.

So what have we said about being a human being residing on this planet of ours over time, here are a few of my favourite things:

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1. This arises when we start listening to and believing that other peoples opinions are more important than our own.

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2. To me, George Orwell wrote one of the great odes to the danger of perfection, 1984: I’m Not Perfect, But I’m Perfect for You.

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3. Anthony Robbins is an American author, life coach, and philanthropist. Robbins has worked on an individual basis with Bill Clinton, Justin Tuck, Wayne Gretzky, Serena Williams, Hugh Jackman, and Pitbull, quite a diverse group of individual human beings.

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4. The whole spiel from Tony: I Learnt from the Best.

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5. Humane: A humane person is one who shows great compassion and caring for others, including animals, and who tries whenever possible to alleviate another’s suffering. The idea of being humane is linked to a higher level of a person’s character:

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6. Shruti is either a data scientist or a Bollywood actress, which one do you think said this: Ego.

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7. Seven billion of us and counting.

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8. Artist Alex has come up with some sage wisdom here: Sincerity is Scary.

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9. An American stand up comic, Amy was nominated for two Grammy Awards, for Best Comedy Album for Amy Schumer: Live at the Apollo and Best Spoken Word Album for The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo

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10. And then sometimes we need a break, so just be an owl: Night Owl.

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11. And your task for your life is…

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12. Raised in small-town America, Wright’s mother died when he was six days old. His father later married a much younger woman, Gertrude:  “Gertrude was closer to my age than to my father’s”. Gertrude hated small-town life, but got along famously with Wright, as they shared many of the same childish tastes (both loved games, movies, and ice cream): Pure Imagination.

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13. Interesting website page name: Stop the Pain now, an interesting take on humanness.

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14. J. R. Rowling, creator of the Harry Potter empire stated she chose the name Dumbledore, which is a dialectal word for “bumblebee”, because of Dumbledore’s love of music: she imagined him walking around “humming to himself a lot”: The Humming.

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15. And for our final lesson, we hear from Brene Brown, who, before her fame researched shame for several decades.

Life is about taking chances. It’s about doing something you initially thought you could never do. It’s about being a little bit crazy, following your heart, being human and not worrying about every detail of what everyone else thinks. And above all. it’s about learning to love who you are and what you have, all of your humanness.

The playlist bounces all over the place today, from Beyonce to Gene Wilder. We begin with three divas: Grace Jones, Whitney Houston and Beyonce. My unknown offering is next, The 1975. Then across to England with Gerry Rafferty, dropping into Hollywood next with Gene Wilder before completing with Enya: Your Job is Not to Be Perfect!!!

If we had to wait until everyone was perfect my dream and goal of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included being the world paradigm would seem a long way off in our humanistic world.

Remember you can get these blogs in your inbox by signing up on the right-hand side of my main page at I am an Interculturalist. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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She Births New Beginnings!!!


Crewed on an event called Embody your Full Power as a Man last night. It’s an introduction to a body of work called Dancing Eros for Men. Surprisingly you do not journey with your male archetypes but with those of the sacred feminine: The archetypes are the Maiden, the Wild Woman, the Priestess, the Erotic Mother and the Slut and they live in all of us in their own unique way: Dancing Eros.

I began the journey in June 2018 with some trepidation as I looked out over the group of men gathered in the room the first night as to what a slightly over the hill 63-year-old would get out of such a program and would I have to dance like a slut in front of 20 other men, not really my bag. This what I wrote when requested to do a testimonial for the intro last night: The intimacy I created with the group of men I journeyed with transmuted to everyone in my life: Lovers, Brothers, Sisters, Parents, Workmates, Strangers in the Streets, see you at the intro. It was like the spirit of humanity sat in that room with me over the eight nights and days we spent together.

My friend Marc Chernoff has created a list which sums up pretty well what I got out of it:

A Silhouette of a human being stands before you. Perhaps a friend. Perhaps a lover. Perhaps a perfect stranger. They need you to connect with them. They need you to share this moment.

They need you to:

1. They need you to smile without hesitation.

2. Give without expectation.

3. Comfort without lying.

4. Guide without misleading.

5. Forgive without resentment.

6. Rest without judgement.

7. Notice without critiquing.

8. Appreciate without comparing.

9. Listen without interruption.

10. Question without objection.

11. Challenge without mocking.

12. Consider without doubting.

13. Discuss without criticizing.

So what have we said about our sacred feminine spirit over the centuries, here are some of the ways we expressed it:

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1. As children, we rely on what our heart says to us to be in the world, as our brain kicks in, we forget the purity of this.

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2. Just Man up is such a demeaning tool to dissect our full personality: On a Roll.

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3. You need to do the work.

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4. CARLOS ANDRÉS GÓMEZ is a Colombian American poet, speaker, actor, and author of Hijito, selected by Eduardo C. Corral as the winner of the 2018 Broken River Prize and a #1 SPD bestseller, and the memoir Man Up: Reimagining Modern Manhood, released by Penguin Random House: We’ve Only Just Begun.

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5. To take on a transformational shift like Dancing Eros, you need a fair bit of this.

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6. We need to have them in a healthy balance: Both Sides Now.

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7. From the 18th Century. Charlotte Brontë was an English novelist and poet, the eldest of the three Brontë sisters who survived into adulthood and whose novels became classics of English literature.

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8. Values can be buried with you and remembered, Ferrari’s can’t: I Gotta Feeling.

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9. French-born fashionista Rykiel was also a writer. She wrote several books about fashion, a collection of children’s stories, magazine columns and an epistolary novel with Régine Desforges. Her first book Et Je La Voudrais Nue (I Would Like Her Naked) was published in 1979. In 2012, she co-authored N’oubliez pas que je joue (Don’t forget it’s a game) with journalist Judith Perrignon. 

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10. This is why it was an honour to be part of the crew who gave the opportunity to 50 men to transform their lives: The Power of Love.

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11. Time to walk the Inner path.

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12. You can dance if you want to, It’s time: I Wanna Dance with Somebody.

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13. Or that suffering may take you to a Dancing Eros for Men intro in Collingwood.

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14. Listening deeply is part of the deal: Listen to The Earth.

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15. What others would you add?

In the end, what all people want deep down is the need for you to be uniquely you – just the way you are, and they need you to respect them – just the way they are.  This so fits in with my world ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included.

The playlist contains some of the classic female voices of all time: Unknown pop diva Ashley O begins the journey. Karen Carpenter and Joni Mitchell are the first of our female vocal legends. We return to this century with The Black Eyed Peas before being entranced by Celine Dion and Whitney Houston. We finish with some beats from Listen to the Earth: She Births New Beginnings.

Remember to sign up to receive these blogs in your inbox on the righthand side of my homepage at http://www.rodwill1707.com. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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Sometimes You Have To Fight For The Things!!!


The end of a decade,  you have done some amazing things, you have done some stupid things and you have done a lot of basic, ordinary things. What would you like to have said to your younger self if you could travel back in time to give yourself some advice about life?

Here is a list by my friend Marc Chernoff called Lessons Life Taught Us that will make you think:

  1. Spend more time with those who make you smile and less time with those who make you feel pressured to impress.
  2. Laugh at stupid jokes. Apologise. Tell someone how much they mean to you. It’s the small moments that make life grand.
  3. Life is way more enjoyable when you stop being trying to be cool and simply focus on being yourself.
  4. Complaining is like slapping yourself for slapping yourself. It doesn’t solve the problem, It just hurts you more.
  5. Learn to adjust the sails of your life to unpredictable winds, while keeping your focus clear on your destination and keep sailing until you get there.
  6. Freedom is the greatest gift. Self-sufficiency is the greatest freedom.
  7. If you want something in your life you’ve never had, You’ll have to do something you’ve never done.
  8. Your health is your life,  keep up with it. Get an annual physical check-up.
  9. Living a life of honesty creates peace of mind, and peace of mind is priceless. Period. Don’t be dishonest and don’t put with people who are.
  10. Forgiving yourself is far more important (and difficult) than getting others to forgive you.
  11. There are few joys in life that equal a good conversation, A good read, A good walk, a good hug, a good smile, or a good friend.
  12. Laughter is the best medicine for stress. Laugh at yourself often. Find the humour in whatever situation you’re in.
  13. Everything that happens in life is neither good nor bad, It just depends on your perspective.
  14. You’re not alone. Everyone has problems. Some people are just better at hiding them than others.

So what does life say about the lessons we learn over our journey, let’s have a look:

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1, Don’t waste time on those quick to judge and not take the time needed to find out about the real you.

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2. Going out your front door each day is an inherent risk: Mine.

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3. I have had periods of both, I am called the beautiful man.

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4. Karen Salmansohn came out of advertising to create the popular salmon.com due to the awful ongoing mispronunciation of her name.  People used to joke that she couldn’t drink a glass of water without it spurting out the knife holes in my back – because there were so many jerks and “drama llamas” in the ad business: My Immortal.

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5. Better known by his pseudonym “The Colonel”.

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6. For each their one: Oh My God.

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7. I know which I prefer.

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8. From the world’s most popular quote writer, Ms Unknown comes this insightful piece of wisdom.: Walk a Mile.

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9. What a great name.

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10. They are very special, these people, as it says do not let them go.: Time of My Life.

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11. I just love this image, I have used it before.

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12. in the early 1960s, Rohn was invited to speak at a meeting of his Rotary Club. He accepted and, soon, others began asking him to speak at various luncheons and other events. In 1963 at the Beverly Hills Hotel, he gave his first public seminar. He then began presenting seminars all over the country, telling his story and teaching his personal development philosophy until the time of his passing in 2009.: Run The World.

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13. Life has both Shadow and Light in it.

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14. This reminds me of the African philosophy of Ubuntu: ‘A person is a person through other people’ strikes an affirmation of one’s humanity through recognition of an ‘other’ in his or her uniqueness and difference. It is a demand for a creative intersubjective formation in which the ‘other’ becomes a mirror (but only a mirror) for my subjectivity. This idealism suggests to us that humanity is not embedded in my person solely as an individual; my humanity is co-substantively bestowed upon the other and me. Humanity is a quality we owe to each other. We create each other and need to sustain this otherness creation. And if we belong to each other, we participate in our creations: we are because you are, and since you are, definitely I am. The ‘I am’ is not a rigid subject, but a dynamic self-constitution dependent on this otherness creation of relation and distance.: Ubuntu.

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15. And for our final lesson………

And to take Self Love into 2020 here are some questions from Marc:

  1. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?
  2. Why are you, you?
  3. In one sentence, what do you wish for your future self?
  4. What’s something you have that everyone wants?
  5. What’s something Nobody can steal from you?
  6. What has the little voice in your head been saying lately?
  7. What makes you feel incomplete?
  8. What’s something new you recently learnt about yourself?
  9. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
  10. What promise to yourself do you still need to fulfil?

For the final list of the decade, I have returned to some pop divas and an all-time classic. We begin with Taylor Swift, then rock out to Evanescence. Across to Malta for Ira Losco. Then Joe South followed by Dirty Dancing. Beyonce is the penultimate number and we complete with all things Ubuntu: Sometimes You Have To Fight For The Things!!!

Life teaches us many lessons, one of mine is that Love and Respect For All, Everyone Included answers question two and three above. Until next time we meet in the new decade, dear friends.

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