It is What It Is, No Means No!!


I went to a social occasion where a very lively conversation on consent was held recently. In my mind, this does not happen nearly enough in our instant gratification society, where things seem to be assumed as we do not have the time to discuss what works for all parties involved in interactions these days.

To me, evidence of this in the level of divorce, domestic violence and sexual assaults that take place daily around the planet. How different would communication be if we took the time necessary to set respectful boundaries for our social interactions?

How has the world related to gaining consent over the centuries, here are some takes at it:

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1. Possibly the most patriarchal argument that bad men use in cases of sexual assault, that the way she dressed caused them to act that way, not their inherent evil.

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2. This is becoming more widespread day by day, in our country recently our Federal police raided our national broadcaster in the name of national security, how to promote fear in the population 101: You Say,

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3. In granting people consent, you take away their inferiority complex.

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4. It is a legal contract, everything else within it needs to be based on open communication: Till It Happens To You.

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5. Apathy has its price.

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6. And it has a name, sexual assault: Don’t Touch My Body.

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7. As the title of this blog says, No means No.

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8. Unfortunately, this seems to be the direction the world is heading in Roll Jordan Roll.

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9. Here is the opposing view when it is personal, not universal.

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10. The state does not get to oppress their citizens unless the citizens allow it: Get Up, Stand Up.

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11. Unfortunately, men may lie to get into government though.

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12. What do you consent to in your life, creeping or soaring: Your Love.

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13. Consenting to a cause where you are willing to die, that’s rare these days.

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14. It isn’t only humans that require consent, remember how our beloved moggies behave when we move them: Best Kittycat Song.

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15. MLK pointing out why consent is so important.

At the end of the discussion we had set what were basic premises for consent in the area we were discussing, it felt great.

The playlist today begins with two pop diva’s, Laura Daigle and Lady Gaga. Then a spoken word piece followed by a choir. Then two great classics from Jackie Wilson and Bob Marley. We close with a number from a cat: It Is What It Is, No Means No.

This is an area society needs to do a lot of work on if we are to live from the world paradigm, Love and Respect For All, Everyone Included. Until next time we meet, dear friends.

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There Lies Hidden Love in Each Friendship!!


Just spent a glorious weekend looking at Relationship with my fellow Warriors Of Love: Where we Hangout on line. One of the distinctions we looked at was How attachments learnt at an early age from our parents affect our ability to relate to society, as I had learnt a new set of distinctions on public speaking over the 6 previous weeks it felt like distinction overload. I relooked at it today and can see the benefit of studying the ideas a bit and how attachment can run your life.

So how has society dealt with attachment over the years, lets have a look:

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1. I think they call it Mindfulness these days.

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2. There is no try, yummy: Yoda’s Wisest Words.

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3. Ralph Marston  was a professional football player who spent a season in the National Football League with the Boston Bulldogs in 1929. His incisive motivational quotes are still used to this day.

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4. His Holiness rocks: Contemplate Impermanence.

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5. We are taught this from a young age, it takes a lot of practice to get over our early training.

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6. I spent quite a bit of time away from my mum early on, it may have had some effect later on to my relatioships, ha ha: Can’t Remember to Forget You.

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7. One word, Boom.

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8. Due to the early influences we need to practice this on a daily ongoing basis: Let Go of Attachment.

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9. The millennials take at it.

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10. Laughing at yourself, real Self Love: I Love to Laugh.

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11. Yasmin Mogahed received her B.S. Degree in Psychology and her Masters in Journalism and Mass Communications from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. After completing her graduate work, she taught Islamic Studies and served as a youth coordinator. She also worked as a writing instructor at Cardinal Stritch University and a staff columnist for the Islam section of InFocus News. Currently she’s an instructor for  AlMaghrib Institute, a writer for the Huffington Post, an international speaker, and author, where she focuses most of her work on spiritual and personal development. Yasmin recently released her new book, Reclaim Your Heart, which is now available worldwide. Visit her website, yasminmogahed.com, where you can find a collection of her articles, poetry, and lectures.

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12. Now known as spiritual bypassing: Spiritual Bypassing.

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13. One of a humans shadows, having to be in control, not easy to let go.

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14. Is this Enlightenment?: Young and Beautiful.

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15. And we finish with some uber wisdom from Ram Dass, if you need it or don’t there’s still work to be done.

I lost the sheet about the attachment styles so have meandered a bit from it, but it is worth a read.

The play list contains a lot of Spoken Word and even one silent track. We begin with Yoda, then to the silence of Art at Chance. one of our three female singers is next, it’s Shakira. Back to spoken word with Alan Watts. The over to the musical Mary Poppins. The penultimate spoken word is from Candance Van Dell and we finish with a sultry number by Lana Del Ray: There Lies Hidden Love in Each Friendship!!

I believe that racism comes from us attaching to the identities we are taught to attach to at an early age. That is why my mission is to have the world paradigm be Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included.

Until next we meet, my dear friends.

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I like the Way You Make Me Feel!!


Its Reconciliation Week in Australia, this is the official blurb for it:

At the heart of reconciliation is the relationship between the broader Australian community and Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. To foster positive race relations, our relationship must be grounded in a foundation of truth.

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples have long called for a comprehensive process of truth-telling about Australia’s colonial history. Our nation’s past is reflected in the present and will continue to play out in future unless we heal historical wounds.

Today, 80 per cent of Australians believe it is important to undertake formal truth-telling processes, according to the 2018 Australian Reconciliation Barometer. Australians are ready to come to terms with our history as a crucial step towards a unified future, in which we understand, value and respect each other.

Whether you’re engaging in challenging conversations or unlearning and relearning what you know, this journey requires all of us to walk together with courage. This National Reconciliation Week, we invite Australians from all backgrounds to contribute to our national movement towards a unified future.

Our local cancel has been showing indigenous directed films nightly, last night I saw a beautiful documentary named Connection to Country: Here’s the Trailer.

So how do you connect to your land, your family and your friends? Lets have a look at what the world has said about it:

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1. The one that this is happening with liked my Facebook picture yesterday. Is this a call to action?

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2. it is what it is: doesn’t work to wish it was another way: Chemistry.

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3. I’ve got the music in me, literally.

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4. I can’t hear what you are saying from the sound of the energy emanating from you: Good Vibrations.

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5. They aren’t called the gateway to the soul for no reason.

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6. The greatest thing you can say to someone: I see You: That scene from Avatar.

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7. And they are free.

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8. Our indigenous people have a Treaty with the land here in Australia: Treaty.

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9. This is what is written on Victoria’s landing page, beautiful: When you remain in your own authentic rhythm and peace you can exist and thrive as both a strong and tender thing simultaneously. Like poetry. Or plants. Or breath,
moving through the body. This is where your power lives.

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10. And to the animals and the plants as well: Say Something.
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11. All hail a life long friendship, they know all your tricks and when you need to be loved.
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12. I don’t want to talk about the hummus: Listen to Your Heart.
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13. One word: Brene.
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14. My favourite refreshment: Follow The Sun.
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15. And our final lesson for today is that what and whoever you connect with, be it the land or a new lover, it’s not about you but how you leave them feeling.
So I hope this helps you strengthen your foundation of connecting with our planet and its inhabitants.
Today’s playlist begins with another unknown pop lad named Asher Angel. Then back to the beaches of California with the Beach Boys. Next is the scene from Avatar that always makes me cry.  Then we have the biggest selling indigenous song ever by Yothu Yindi, you can dance if you wish followed by pop diva Christine Aguilera.  Roxette is the penultimate song and we close with a live version of Xavier Rudd’s anthem: I like the Way you Make me Feel.
My wish is we all connect through the paradigm, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until next time, my dear friends.
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It’s Impossible to Live Without Failing At Something!!


My friend Emeli Paulo from Collective Potential has returned to her source: Here’s the Link., fortnightly workshops on different purposeful subjects after attempting to generate a national road trip in supporting Mental Health initiatives, due to difficult circumstances this did not happen, I’m glad she survived the experience and retains her passion for transforming people, Emeli is very good at it. Collective Potential has inspired many people and will continue to do so in the future, despite what could be seen as a failure, but what is life without failures on the way? There is that well known saying by Abraham Lincoln: If you have never failed, You have never Lived.

So how does society look at the fine line between Failure and Success? Here are some of my favourite Quotes on the subject:

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1. James Cameron is a bit of authority on this subject. Cameron’s Avatar and Titanic are the highest and third highest-grossing films of all time at $2.78 billion and $2.19 billion respectively after many films that did not meet with financial success.

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2. Remember what Abraham said: Rise Up.

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3. Thomas Edison said: I speak without exaggeration when I say that I have constructed three thousand different theories in connection with the electric light, each one of them reasonable and appears to be true. Yet only in two cases did my experiments prove the truth of my theory. My chief difficulty, as perhaps you know, was in constructing the carbon filament, the incandescence of which is the source of the light.”

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4. From the queen of quotes, Ms Anonymous. comes this worldly advice on the subject: Give Your Heart a Break.

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5. Failure does not equal not trying. Michael Jordan missed: 12345 shots during his NBA career. Damn in perfect order, the guy truly was the greatest.

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6. You may fail many times before the success you seek arrives: Keep Failing and You Will Succeed.

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7. Squiggly lines will get you there, staying on the straight and narrow is limiting.

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8. Learning 101: Changes.

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9. This quote is not actually what Thomas said, but it reads better than 3,000 times as stated in his above statement.

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10. The Chinese have certainly come up with great quotes over time, think Lao Tzu, Confucious etc, etc…: Shallow.

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11. Get up, Stand Up.

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12. Get what Napoleon says, just one step: Don’t give up too soon: One Step Ahead.

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13. From the world’s most famous cigar smoker, I love this quote.

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14. Famous for his 2006 TED talk, Do Schools Kill Creativity, which has had 57,609,622 views,  his ideas on education have raised some heated debate. 57 million views lean towards success in my humble opinion: Wannabe.

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15. And the final lesson for today, don’t stop climbing, one step forward, sometimes three steps back.

So if I look through my life, I have had plenty of both failure and success. Was one better than the other, could it have been different? Not really, at 64 I have learnt to accept the lessons learnt and keep moving forward one step at a time.

The playlist today contains some very popular songs, over 100 millions hits for quite a few of them. We begin with Andra Day, then pop diva Demi Lovato. The spoken word for today is from Moversity, we then return to the 19’s with David Bowie. Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper follow with that song. The penultimate song is by one of New Zealand’s most popular acts, Split Enz and we finish with The Spice Girls: It’s Impossible to Live Without Failing at Something!!

I think that I have learnt a lot from setting my goal as seeing the world paradigm being Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until next time my dear friends.

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Everyone Has Oceans to Fly!!


How do you know the difference between your preferences and your boundaries? I am doing this amazing online public speaking course called RISE with Fleassy Malay, it is the top 5 courses I have ever done, and I have done a lot over the years: Enter Fleassy’s World. and she points out that we often mix the two up, preferences become boundaries and boundaries become preferences. How do they differ, let’s look at their definitions:

Preference is defined as:

the fact that you like something or someone more than another thing or person:

Her preference is for comfort rather than stylish clothes.
I have a preference for sweet food over spicy.
Choosing furniture is largely a matter of personal preference.
It would be wrong to discriminate against a candidate because of their sexual preference (= the sex of the people they are sexually attracted to).

an advantage that is given to a person or a group of people:

We give preference to those who have worked with us for a long time.
Special preferences were offered initially to encourage investment.
Boundaries are defined as:
Like physical boundaries, emotional boundaries define separateness. Your emotional boundaries are the property lines that separate your thoughts and feelings from those of other people.
To me, preferences live in the realms of the examples above and boundaries are those gut feelings that much our stomach churn when we know they are not being respected or people have just walked through them.
So what does our society have to say about boundaries, there were some quite different expressions of it when I looked.
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1. Unlimited giving is a surefire recipe for health problems to emerge.

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2. Remember the age-old formulae: You are the result of the five people you spend the most time with, choose wisely: Get Up, Stand Up.

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3. Lamott has described why she writes: I try to write the books I would love to come upon, that are honest, concerned with real lives, human hearts, spiritual transformation, families, secrets, wonder, craziness—and that can make me laugh. When I am reading a book like this, I feel rich and profoundly relieved to be in the presence of someone who will share the truth with me, and throw the lights on a little, and I try to write these kinds of books. Books, for me, are medicine.

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4. You may lose some of your peeps when you put them in place, and who they are may surprise you: Brene’s take on it.

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5. Boundaries bring out people’s real nature.

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6. Have clarity when you set them, and then stand by them as if you are defending your child’s life: No Need to Argue.

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7. Boundaries actually increase your ability to give over time.

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8. You have to wake up with you in the morning, so make sure the respect is there: Respect.

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9. Teach the people in your life, or they will make it up how they relate to you.

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10. If how you relate to people crosses more than the one on one relationship you have some work to do: Crossing Boundaries.

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11. Today’s boundaries are how you live your life.

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12. Don’t accept an invitation if it crosses your boundaries, as said above no is a complete sentence: Ball and Chain.

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13. But always remember there are times your boundaries need to be fluid.

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14. Brene: Boundaries equals being courageous: Perfect.

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15. Our final lesson comes from the great Persian poet, Rumi. Have boundaries but remember to remain curious.

As we travel along our timeline some preferences may become boundaries and boundaries preferences. that is the joy of being human, each moment is a new experience allowing us to chose to grow or diminish. It’s up to Us, Because We Can, It’s our Time.

The Playlist honours some extremely powerful divas today. We begin with the only male, Bob Marley. The spoken word is next from Brene Brown. The sultry voice of the lead singer of The Cranberries is next followed by the powerful vocals of Aretha Franklin. Then a mini discovery in Mina AlAli. One of the great performances from the ’60s is next by Janis Joplin and we close with Pink: Everyone Has Oceans To Fly.

I don’t really like the other types of boundaries, I am fighting them as hard as possible to ensconce my world paradigm of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until next we meet, my dear friends.

Earth Tribe

 

 

My Story Matters because I Matter!!


Have you seen it, I’ve watched it five times, etc. etc.. I’m talking about the latest Netflix sensation, Brene Brown’s special The Call to Courage. I’ve watched it once but have viewed everything on Youtube several times over the years. The title of this blog is one of her quotes, and when her last book Dare to Lead was released I pre-ordered it three times by mistake, my two friends I gifted it to were rapt.

I have read every book she has written at least twice because she is a great writer and makes it easy to receive many aha moments per page. Let’s list them:

  1. The Gifts of Imperfection.
  2. Daring Greatly.
  3. I Thought It Was Just Me: But It Isn’t.
  4. Rising Strong.
  5. Rising Strong As A Spiritual Practice.
  6. The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting.
  7. The Power of Vulnerability.
  8. Braving The Wilderness.
  9. Connections Curriculum – 12 Sessions.
  10. Dare To Lead – Brave Work.
  11. Women and Shame, Reaching Out.

 

Oops,  I have not read them all after seeing the list, two to go. I put Brene Brown quotes in Ecosia Images, I use Ecosia search engine ILO Google because of the fact they plant a tree for each click, and there were hundreds, it’s like all of her words are a quote that can transform your life. These are the ones I have chosen, It’s time for some Brene bliss:

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1. These days of the online world, they are called Trolls.

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2. And the booby prize is …: Perfectionist Complex.

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3. Don’t forget the little things, remember to stop and smell the Roses.

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4. If you only do what you know what you feel safe doing, the word boring comes to mind. Time to step up to mistake land: Another Lifetime.

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5. Happy, Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, Joy.

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6. My marketing mentor laughed at me when I said I could do research for everybody. Andrew said, what about working with people you like working with, find the others: They must deserve It.

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7. We are not Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, at the base of it all, we are all human.

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8. Shadow and Light travel together, attempting to ignore the shadow is pure bullshit, the pain will remain and return tenfold until you are willing to deal with it: Growing Pains.

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9. For me, it lives in the realm of what we don’t know we don’t know.

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10. Kur-it. This is why my English students often stare at me with strange looks when I pronounce words for them: Reach Out.

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11. Repeat after me, I am Enough. Repeat after me, I am Enough, etc. etc…

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12. And at the base of it all, there is Love: Love Myself.

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13. How do you respond when a beloved shares their life with you?

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14. To be totally balanced in our bodies, we need to feel it all: Comfortably Numb.

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15. And fro Brene’s final lesson, it’s a long one and a doozy. If all you get is the aha moment from this one then Brene has done her job.

My top three: Daring Greatly, Rising Strong and Dare to Lead. It is also worth checking out her website, her free resources are awesome: Access to all Things Brene.

The playlist begins with two newbies to me, Jubyphonic and Nao. The spoken word has of course to be Brene, that’s next. Pop diva Alessia Cara follows and then we go way back to The Four Tops. Then my favourite Self Love song from Hailee Steinfeld and Pink Floyd close the set: My Story Matters Because I Matter.

So that’s my love letter to Brene Brown. She would be a fan of my lifetime paradigm: Love and Respect for All: Everybody Included. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

Self Love 12

 

 

Be So Good They Can’t Ignore You.


I crew on three drug and alcohol-free dances within our community so ever rarely come across toxic drug and alcohol abuse spaces. I attended one on Saturday night as I had been invited by a DJ friend of mine, Mickey Space to attend his birthday gathering at a place called Horse Bazaar. It was like a return to my dark secret past. This was the venue my wildest girlfriend and I used to attend to dance after taking Acid or Ecstasy over a two year period every Saturday night 15 years ago. I never thought I would return there.

Mickey plays great music, so I was enjoying the dance when this rather drunken, amazingly beautiful young women, most of them are young when you are 64, came up to me and said, “You are too transparent, you’re not allowed to be that transparent, it’s unfair.”  I told her I was a Dancing Eros sister, an ISTA graduate and a Warrior of Love. I sat her down and showed her the Dancing Eros homepage, and said look it up when you are sober: Access to Dancing Eros.

What would life be like if we were all as transparent with each other as I was that scared the bejesus out of this young woman? I am an empath so often feel the effect we have on each other. Unfortunately, I feel the pain people think they are hiding that they don’t want people to see so often have to leave events early. What has society said about transparency over the decades? Here are the most relevant I could find:

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1. This is one gift if you think of it as one you receive as you become more and more transparent.

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2. Simply, His Holiness rocks: Dalai Lama’s Guide To Happiness

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3. All you do is confuse others when you continually change directions.

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4. Wikipedia thinks Himanshu is either an Indian Bollywood actor or a New York rapper, I’m not sure about that, but I really like the intent of this quote: There is So Much Magnificence.

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5. I have discovered I have worn a lot of masks over the years: Shyness, Judgemental, Alcohol and Drug Abuse, it takes committing yourself to a journey to remove them.

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6. Some words: Brene Brown, vulnerability, it’s worth it: Embracing Vulnerability.

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7. Not greatly relevant, but I like it.

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8. How often in our lives don’t we do this for the sake of keeping the peace: Honest.

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9. Transparency may lead you here.

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10. I think if you are living a transparent life, that the other two would just fall in place: I’m Your Man. 

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11. When I am writing a note to the woman I wish to be my beloved I write the following: Remember to Breathe next time we meet, my beloved. From your beloved, if that is what you have chosen. I am still waiting for a reply.

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12. It’s all in the eyes. They say they do not lie as they are the gateway to the soul: Bette Davis Eyes.

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13. Does this go along with Home is Where the Heart Is. Maybe.

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14. This may be a fallout out if people are on different journeys towards transparency: So Am I.

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15. And our final lesson comes from Bono, who points out powerfully the cost of not telling the truth.

There were quite a few definitions of what transparency means, this was my favourite: the quality of being done in an open way without secrets.

In tribute to being in Rise – Speaker Training the playlist contains two spoken word tracks. We begin with His Holiness, The Dalai Lama, then two of my favourites Deva and Miten. Then the current Netflix craze, Brene Brown. Then one of the many rappers around at the moment, Future. Two legends follow in Leonard Cohen and Kim Carnes, completing with Ava Max: Be So Good They Can’t Ignore You.

What I am transparent about is spreading the paradigm Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. The more people I can have see this as a possibility, the merrier. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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