Are you a Good Ancestor?


I hadn’t heard this expression till earlier this week when I was cleaning up and came across the Consciousness Rising copy of Dumbo Feather, a magazine with a tagline Conversations with extraordinary people. One of the articles was about being a good ancestor. The term came about in the 1970’s from Jonas Salk, who also developed the polio vaccine.

It didn’t take off much since then due to neoliberal hyper-individualism, but is receiving more interest these days. A Good Ancestor tries as best they can, to think as far as they can beyond their own life span, to the time when their children’s children will be living.

Roman Krznaric, author of The Good Ancestor comes up with six conversation starters to have a Good Ancestor chat:

  1. Deep-Time Humility: What have been your most profound experiences of deep time, and how do they affect you?
  2. Intergenerational Justice: What, for you, are the most powerful reasons for caring about future generations.
  3. Legacy Mindset: What legacy do you want to leave your family, your community and for the living world?
  4. Transcendent Goal: What do you think should be the ultimate goal of the human species?
  5. Holistic Forecasting: Do you anticipate a future of civilisational breakdown, radical transformation or a different pathway?
  6. Cathedral Thinking: What long term projects could you purse others that extend beyond your own lifetime.

As the COVID pandemic keeps growing and growing, I think it is time we all become good ancestors and realize the planet is not just here for us to survive the years we are on it, what does society say about being good ancestors, lets have a look:

1.David Ross Brower was a prominent environmentalist and the founder of many environmental organizations, including the John Muir Institute for Environmental Studies, Friends of the Earth (1969), Earth Island Institute(1982), North Cascades Conservation Council, and Fate of the Earth Conferences.

2. Sustainability vs. Economics, which will save the world: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBEGxqJKup8

3. In Australia we are slowly learning that 60,000 years of warden-ship mean that we should listen to the indigenous people of our land.

4. Thomas Berry,was a cultural historian and scholar of the world’s religions, especially Asian traditions. Later as he studied Earth history and evolution, he called himself a “geologian.”  He rejected the label “theologian” or “ecotheologian” as too narrow and not descriptive of his cultural studies in history of religions. He was drawn early on to respond to the growing ecological and climate crisis and proposed the need for a “New Story” of evolution in 1978. In this essay he suggested that a deep understanding of the history and functioning of the evolving universe is a necessary inspiration and guide for our own effective functioning as individuals and as a species: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4_lUpnIoTo

5. I still have the stone my youngest nephew gave me, he is now 29.

6. Essentially to fall in love with nature and defend it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQOaUnSmJr8

7. And remember it will be their world longer than it will be ours!

8. And their kids as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvuN_WvF1to

9. Another indigenous race not listened to in the USA.

10. Can you hear it still, or is all the industry too loud: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH2J81ZjsGk

11. We have forgotten this on most continents!!!

12. Said a long time ago, now we have kids climate strikes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1Lu5udXEZI

13. And we are stupid enough to do this.

14. Penny Lancaster is best known as Rod Stewart’s partner, yet has a personal fortune of 20 million pounds sterling: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEAu5TFAUpE&list=PLwoaKzAN8kVmMdMqdlelhS4j2WfpFiWPq

15. Just remember 2020 and how can we not.

The three quotes in the articles are good reason of rus to become good ancestors as soon as we can, here they are:

“We’re using 1.6 Earths every year. We’re using more resources than we can naturally regenerate and create more waste than can be naturally absorbed in a carbon sink.”

“What I see is that my daughter or her great grand-child are not alone. They are in a web of relationships with people, with community, but they are also in the web of the living world. They need air to breathe and food to eat.”

“I don’t think this is going to be easy, and that all our problems will necessarily be solved. But there is the possibility. What we’re seeing in the world now is what transformative change looks like.”

Today’s playlist is from rock and roll royalty and includes some intercultural songs. We start with Sir Paul McCartney and friends, Leanne Rime’s golden voice is next. CSNY take us back to a golden period of rock. Little Dicky and Olena Uutai fill inthe middle. The penultimate song is by Matthew West and we finish with John Legend: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYruwVK7IDiAHKUvlsdM1-dk8

I hold my ethos, Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included as a Cathedral Project – it will continue much past my lifetime. Until next time, my dear friends.

How do you fill the gap left?


I was having trouble getting over a recent love affair so began reading about breakups. I found this really good blog in it titled: Losing the Love of Your Life: What to do when you lose the one by Natasha Adamo Here are the first four paragraphs of it, it explained it very well.

Losing the love of your life makes you realize that love can truly be a double-edged sword. It can make us feel so uniquely connected to the world and fill our hearts so they are overflowing. It can also slash our hearts to shreds, leaving painful emotion seeping out for a long time to come.

And one of the most painful places to be in is the one where you feel regret, guilt, and pain for losing someone you see as too much of a loss to recover from. The one who was there for you, loved you, and did the “thick and thin” thing because they believed in you. But now they are gone.

Losing the love of your life and actually realizing it can take some time to surface. There is pain on both sides when a breakup occurs. A time of healing. A time when moving on begins and life slowly becomes happier. The pain subsides, and you reflect on the lessons you learned and seek new love.

There are also times when this doesn’t happen. Where you find yourself thinking of someone every day.  Losing the love of your life is painful. You feel heavy with guilt, and regret lives in your gut. It is often at this point you question yourself, and think that this person you lost, has left a hole in your life that can never be filled.

I keep going between the two and feel I am leaning towards the former at the moment although there are days when the latter takes over. So how does society advise you to fill that hole when it sticks around, lets have a look, some are harsh:

1. Actually a phone call made to find out what groceries were needed.

2. We were in COVID .pandemic lock-down times so Zoom was a godsend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqMl5CRoFdk

3. Still pondering a lot of the time, getting better though.

4. Pretty close to the truth, it goes away eventually with taking other actions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm9Zf1WYQ_A&list=PL3-sRm8xAzY-v_i64uZfriFSPYHnQd8Vl&index=4

5. I don’t fully understand this quote.

6. This is the hole that can be never filled time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk4BbF7B29w

7. Makes me think of Deborah Harry’s Broken Glass.

8. I regret that I did this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sptQj1MPIwg

9. But time has come to realize you must move on.

10. On 22 December 2016, Coelho was listed by UK-based company Richtopia at number 2 in the list of 200 most influential contemporary authors: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzM71scYw0M

11. That’s OK until the heart meets someone again.

12. Strength or wisdom, which gets you through the day better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woOJRsXMQ5g

13. Do not let the shadows of your past darken the doorstep of your future, forgive and forget.

14. When things break badly, it is hard to repair them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5e8C1nhe_s

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15. And for the final lesson, an ultimate check list.

Are breaking up and letting go the same thing, both have nothing to do with weakness, the latter more to do with strength. Here are 12 things worth knowing as you wander this path.

  1. The past can steal your present if you let it.
  2. Not everyone, and not everything is meant to stay.
  3. Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.
  4. Sometimes you just need to do your best and surrender the rest.
  5. You are control of only one person: yourself.
  6. What’s right for you may be wrong for others, and vice versa.
  7. Some people will refuse to accept you for who you are.
  8. Relationships can only exist on a steady foundation of truth.
  9. The world changes when you change.
  10. You can make decisions, or you can make excuses.
  11. It usually takes just a few negative remark’s to kill a person’s dreams.
  12. Sometimes walking away is the only way to win.

Today’s playlist contains three classic sixties bands, two pop diva’s and two relatively unknowns: We begin with Early Stones, then Billy Ellish and Adele. Back to the Sixties for the Doors and The Walker Brothers. Then my two unknowns, the first has less than 1,000 YouTube hits, a rarity: Raven and we finish with the Struts: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrv2CMFf0MRxXaKqX5rg-2xG

You/I are responsible for our own happiness, no one else. You/I are responsible for our behavior, no one else. If you are not seeing the things in life that you want, look at yourself. What are you afraid of? Self-sabotage is when you pike at the last moment, afraid of what lies ahead (even if it’s good for you).

So you can be afraid of the gap, torn apart by the gap or learn to be courageous and jump the gap and move forward. The latter will bring you closer to Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

Our COVID Love Affair.


7 months,from 22nd March until now, that is how long our beloved city of Melbourne has been in lock-down from COVID, most of it stage 3 and 4. We have had a love affair with masks and crosses on the ground. I began the first stages in a psychiatric unit at the Melbourne Clinic and have ended it breaking up with the women I wanted to spend my life with.

It has made Zoom like technology a must at most houses, for the kids to do their school work, parents to do their work as the government asked them not to go to work unless they really had to, and for my friends in the conscious dance community to listen to the DJ’s they danced to weekly in dance halls all around Melbourne.

So what has the world said about COVID, because lets not forget it is a world-wide pandemic, here we go:

1. How long is 7 months, a frigging long time.

2. Charles Robert Darwin 12 February 1809 – 19 April 1882) was an English naturalist geologist and biologist, best known for his contributions to the science of evolution sounds like he would have been a great man to have on the COVID Health team: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HMP4zrJiM4

3. 5 basics of the pandemic.

4. Don’t forget the merch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARt9HV9T0w8

5. How true was this over the past seven months.

6. The naysayers are many, especially the journos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co6WMzDOh1o&list=PLhGO2bt0EkwvRUioaJMLxrMNhU44lRWg8&index=15

7. Did they have to put a limit on how much toilet paper you could buy in your country, we did.

8. I think after seven months, I’ve got there: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4pi1LxuDHc

9. COVID Parenthood 101.

10. Hadn’t thought of this, the royal handshake and hug: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4Vmjyjst4U

11. The streets and walk-paths are really empty.

12. This would be funny if it was not true: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MH4TVYT1OYQ

13. Ice cream.

14. The cute as pie one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygdB-ZE0daY

15. Oops, sprung.

So, what are some things that can help you get through this pandemic, here are a few suggestions:

  1. Wash your hands and face, and brush your teeth.
  2. Change your socks,
  3. Call a close friend.
  4. Stretch.
  5. Go outdoors.
  6. Take a light exercise break.
  7. Dress to feel your best.
  8. Listen to your favourite music
  9. Take a few deep, controlled breaths.
  10. Clear your stuffed nose.
  11. Cook a good meal.
  12. Walk away from energy vampires.
  13. Complete an important piece of unfinished business.
  14. Work on something that’s meaningful for you.
  15. Assist someone in need.
  16. Think about your latest (or greatest) success.
  17. Act like today is already an awesome day.
  18. Notice what’s right.
  19. Take a moment to acknowledge how far you’ve come.

The playlist today begins with two older songs by David Bowie and Gloria Gaynor. Following are two bands, U2 and the Lumineers. The only pop diva is next, Enca ft. Noizy. We finish with two COVID parodies of Foreigner and Michael Jackson: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtSY-drWEG7LyrzJbFT4GV2

Today is the day we were meant to find out about an easing of the restrictions, I think I saw an extension to November the 2nd, missed by that much. So during this time we really need the ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until next time my dear friends.

What did you decide?


I did an amazing process called the individuation cycle today which was about what beliefs I have created throughout my life and how I have compensated for them. It is from the work of William Whitecloud’s course Create Your Destiny. I saw that due to abandonment by my mother during the first months of my life and my father not being a communicative man during my childhood and suffering hurt due to this I decided that I was unworthy, I definitely don’t belong and that I can’t trust myself, others, or the world became my core beliefs. My strategy to resolve this was to become one of the worlds natural gentlemen, never say a bad word about anybody or do a bad deed against people. I have also spent my life searching for an authority or mentor to fix my brokenness.

I wondered what society had written about making decisions like this so I had a look:

1. I would chose I am unworthy for my strongest belief.

2. In knowing these beliefs it allows you freedom: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKaXY4IdZ40

3. Those beliefs place me in struggle town a lot, to get to anything is possible takes a journey through them.

4. Wise words from the Buddha: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26EP0ght2kI

5. What you resists persist , especially in your major beliefs.

6. My beliefs have taken me down both some rough and some beautiful paths:: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-vZlrBYLSU

7. A bold statement from a woman who had to walk through many difficult beliefs.

8. Our beliefs create our world, if we deny them in all cases we could never reach here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVGINIsLnqU

9. This is listening to your creative side, not your victim.

10. Gandhi knew about his beliefs with a statement like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuXNumBwDOM

11. Recognising those beliefs that hold you back allow for no limits.

12. Upgrading is getting to know what beliefs hold you back: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vpc3lFR0AwY

13. If you don’t know them and walk through them its hard to know your limits.

14. And from probably the most famous POTUS comes the fact that beliefs will not do it on its own, action must accompany them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qo8gX1Evay8

15. I agree with this, my nice guy permeated out of me when I am not in touch with my disempowering beliefs.

Until we discover this in our lives we will go through some tough times especially. in relationships. These relationship truths may be a bit difficult to accept at times, but in the end , they will help you weed out the wrong relationships, make room for the right ones, and nurture the people who are most important to you. Here are 15 steps you may go through:

  1. Some relationships will be blessings, others will serve as lessons.
  2. When times are tough, some people will leave you.
  3. Life is full of fake people.
  4. People can easily be insincere with their words.
  5. The less you associate with some people the m ore your life will improve.
  6. Harsh words can hurt a person more than physical play.
  7. A mistake is an accident. Cheating and lying are not mistakes.
  8. Excessive jealousy doesn’t tell someone how much you love them.
  9. When people get nasty with you, it’s usually best to walk away.
  10. People will treat you the way you let them treat you.
  11. One of the most difficult tasks in life is removing someone from your heart.
  12. Resentment hurts you, not them.
  13. Silence and a half smile can hide a lot of pain from the world.
  14. True love comes when manipulation stops.
  15. Even the best relationships don’t last forever.

Today’s playlist contains four of the biggest pop diva’s on the planet. We begin with Mariah Carey who is followed by Pink. Some country from Rascal Flatts is next.we go back in time to Devo. Taylor Swift and Christine Aguilera are separated by Jakatta and Seal: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrv64NSLNWFCCWN6KvgbACzZ

I hope my ethos for the world: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included is not a strategy to compensate for my beliefs I mentioned previously. My new tribe/movement of 1,000,000 signing up for this ethos can be joined via this bitly link: https://bit.ly/2ERbjc9. Until we meet again my dear friends.

What I don’t Know!!!


I have just spent three hours texting on the phone to my ex-partner, and it ended up in the usual Fuck Off. But during that I committed to writing a blog about what I didn’t know, a relative hard task because its about what I don’t know. Areas like how insecure I feel at times and how life confuses me. It seems the previous ones I wrote judging her personality based on my own defensiveness rather than any knowledge. I do not hold this to be totally true but apologise for causing her hurt in writing about her if it caused these feelings.

What do I feel insecure about? Many things: Insecure that I will fail in my new businesses, Insecure that I never feel my deepest emotions, Insecure that I will never respond to a woman in a way she feels worshiped, Insecure that I will always feel unlovable all my life and insecure that I will feel that if I let people get close to me they will reject me.

I am confused by how to meet a lovers needs, I am confused by fitting in, I am confused by feeling all the feels as my anger may get out of control, I am confused by what to do to be a good elder for my community, I am confused at the way the world is governed, it feels so wrong, I am confused by women’s intentions and I am confused by what it takes to find a woman who will love me for who I am.

So what has society said about insecurity and confusion, let’s take a walk down memory lane:

1. I’m not sure if I have as yet.

2. I have all three of these: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLmYZSu3NCc&list=PL6IfNZf-6l0gKdY4foPph_HTEm3nwrx8x&index=2

3. How many make your list?

4. They were for a while: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THeLVhU53ow&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=22

5. Boom!!!

6. I’m learning this big time, and the things about me that don’t work as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAfyFTzZDMM&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=28

7. This is why finding your perfect partner is so hard, because we all have these.

8. I haven’t as yet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXXQLa-5n5w&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=31

9. Not an easy thing to do.

10. Intuition is from innocence, Insecurity from your darkest places: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocDlOD1Hw9k&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=27&bpctr=1600577394

11. Hit the pause button and turn it onto play.

12. When this happens in your life it is a grand declaration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=26

13. Quite a broad recipe of circumstances of which insecurity is but one.

14. Not this takes something to meet on an equal plain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYa1eI1hpDE&list=PLxXNIlld_SoIPdy-IW_b4ksQWqsfFO7e2&index=30

15. I plead guilty to this.

I wish to add some words by Jeanette LeBlanc, they relate to the writing of this:

Write the truth of yourself. As you know it. Right Now. In this exact moment and only this moment. Make your words sing with the hope of you , with the want of you, with the very blood and bones and guts of you Select the lines that speak your heart. Your sex. Your sacred. Spill yourself into this paragraph as if lives depend on it. Because your lives – every last one – do.

Today’s playlist is all pop diva’s except for the opening number. Gnash starts us off followed by Jess Glynne. Three of the biggies follow Christine Aguilera, Beyonce and Pink. Cobie Caillat is the penultimate diva and we finish with Taylor Swift: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrsm9HO0oD7BenIjEVeZoRGT

When the world is willing to recognise its insecurities and confusion we will be able to recognise that Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included will have a chance. My new tribe: Thriving People – People who wish to make a difference to humanity has this as its ethos, if you would like to join here is the link: https://bit.ly/2ERbjc9. Until we meet again my dear friends.

You’ve got a Friend!!!


I’ve got a new friend, actually she is an old friend who become a lover for a period of time. We had been friends for ages, a little bit distant at times but had become closer in the past year that had grown onto a three month affair and then it ended. I tried to hold on and then one day realised if I did not agree that it was over it all would be, the friendship, everything. You do not find close friendships that easily, or I haven’t found this easy to do, so I returned to the status of being close friends.

Why do you keep friends who you classify as close around? Well, here are the reasons I kept this friend around: She is faithful to me, she believes in me when I don’t believe in myself, she doesn’t buy my bullshit, she asks me what am I feeling and listens and expects the same of me, she enjoys my company and I enjoy hers, and tells me what she will not put up with.

So how has society related to friendships over the centuries, I’m sure that it goes back to the start of history, let’s have a look:

1. And they really want to.

2. My friend loyally stuck in there until I came to my senses: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCQGnVrTsAM

3. My friend is a woman of faith, this is for you.

4. You can tell them about your nightmares: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIS-RuoZxCI&list=PLahlcCtGIBvjZidRBlzpqyLN2mntGJPl9&index=12

5. I fit into this category, slightly cracked, Thank you.

6. Not sure if I agree with all of this, I think friends allow you to cry as much as you need to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cizgXSegrko

7. John Hay was either a U.S. secretary of State or an Australian academic, neither was well known for writing quotes.

8. We live on opposite sides of town, yet never apart: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNHBT7wjqVI

9. There are times you need to do this for your friends, when they forget what friends are for.

10. Dual weirdo alert: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL41kS5OFxQ

11. Marcel is one of my favourite philosophers.

12. And can sit in silence as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bk7RVw3I8eg

13. I find it is on the way back after having had a great time with your friend.

14. I know this, I nearly lost it all: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlPhMPnQ58k&list=PLE6nCASEBsgD6HSVUjaKKa0a0h0XK3aGR

15. Thanks for doing this, and restoring my feelings.

To you my friends, I honour your insight, wisdom and friendship.

People have told me to use my words but I like my Friends Marc and Angel Chernoff’s lists, here is a list of questions your close friends would ask you:

  1. What do you need to spend less time doing?
  2. What makes you feel comfortable?
  3. What’s something simple that makes you smile?
  4. What would you regret not fully doing ,being, or having in your life?
  5. When you’re ninety years old, what will matter to you most?
  6. The best part of waking up, is?
  7. What’s one thing you love about your life?
  8. What would the child you once were think of the adult you have become?
  9. What’s something you look forward to almost every day?
  10. What’s something that makes you feel instantly better?

The playlist today cover most of the decades from the 70’s. We begin with the Friends Theme song, then back to the 70’s with James Taylor. Dianna Krall coves a Julie London classic next, then Dionne Warwick and her friends do that song. Then two old songs, Bob Marley first then a cover by Disturbed. We finish with Maroon 5: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtOCwYP1pbvpd6apSJTsShV

My aim is to have all the people of the earth be friends. I have created a tribe, Thriving People – People who want to make a difference to Humanity, 1,000,000 taking on the ethos Love and Respect for All – Everyone Included, you can join us here: https://bit.ly/2ERbjc9. Until we meet again my dear friends.

To Fuck Off, Or Not!!!


What do you do when you have been told to fuck off and live in your fantasy world and the person hates you. You feel broken for a period of time because you remember when life was not that way. You search for what went wrong and hope it will return to the latter. Then you begin to realize that it cannot as much as you wish for it to. So you go about rebuilding your broken heart and hope that the. person who said it will leave your heart space in a reasonable amount of time.

I’m still working on that because I felt that this was the person who would live there for the rest of my life. So I admit it my heart is broken at the moment. What have people said about having their hearts broken over the years, lets have a look:

hb1

  1. She was not the wrong person to me.

2. We spent glorious days together, and then it went awry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZInWGC5L2T8&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa

3. Let’s hope so.
4. Lawrence of Arabia was a wise man:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2Rch6WvPJE&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=2

5. No I didn’t I spent two hours on a station where I could have been arrested for breaking the COVID lock-down laws.

6. Yes, that is how long I put her in my heart for: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQHsXMglC9A&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=3

7. And don’t forget the tears as well.

8. I am beginning to realize this as time kicks in: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=4

9. It was the best two months of my 66 year life.

10. No words can explain the feeling in my heart and soul: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fvj6PE3gN4o&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=6

11. My glasses used to fog over when I was wearing my COVID mask, perhaps they were warning me.

12. and the answer is a fucking lot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXzC2eiHBG8&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=6

13. There is always that missing part.

14. Thats what it feels like now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2e9_jfzFr0g&list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa&index=7

15. Her denial that I ever Loved her hurts me a lot, I will not let her take it away from me.

As we mature in relationships, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones. Remember, life is kind of like a party. You invite a lot of people , some leave early, some laugh with you, and a few stay to help clean up the mess. The ones who are your real friends in life. They are the. one who. matter the most. This is what they do for each other:

  1. They face problems together.
  2. They give what they can because they truly care.
  3. They make time for each other.
  4. They offer each other freedom
  5. They communicate effectively.
  6. They accept each other as is.
  7. They are genuine, and expect genuineness.
  8. They compromise.
  9. They support each other’s growth changes.
  10. They believe in each other.
  11. They maintain realistic expectations of their relationship.
  12. They honour each other in small ways on a regular basis.
  13. They listen, and they hear every word.
  14. They keep their promises.
  15. They stick around.

So, as I read through this list, I know and wonder where I did not fulfill all the expectations of a mature relationship. I am still deeply in love with the woman this is written about and have no idea how to get her out of my heart.

Today’s playlist contains some classic songs about broken hearts. We go back a long way to the Bee Gees, and follow up with the soulful voice of Toni Braxton.They the vocal power of Adele. We return to a rock ballad next with Passenger. Forward to the present and Billy Ellish. A newbie for me, Tate Mcrae and we finish with SIA: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtoQ_FvfKkG7omrzyX-Yusa

WordPress have changed the system I use to write my blog so the links are different, I will read up on it and hopefully it will change back next week. Being in Love is part of relationships as is love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

Love Hurts!!!


Did you know love is not enough? I found that out in a sudden, dramatic way yesterday. I was travelling in our lockdown city of Melbourne to visit my supposed partner outside the 5-kilometre allowable zone when I rang her because she had written to me that she felt a bit down about her zoom visit to her psychologist. I rang her to find out what could I do for her, two hours later I was heading home and it was all over.

It was because I had agreed with her and allowed her space the night before and it seems I should not have listened to her and gone against her will and taken care of her. We had discussed this for an hour after I was halfway there and she told me she felt the most empowered she had ever felt. It seems that I am not enough to meet her needs. A day later I realise that I cannot be different from where I am at the moment. I can grow but cannot miraculously be different from where I am at the moment, so yes, Love hurts.

What does society say about the pain of unrequited love, lets have a look:

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1. I hope it finds this place soon.

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2. I forgot: Stronger.

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3. I found out the embrace of love is not enough.

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4. How will I get her out of my heart, it seems impossible at the moment, only time will tell: Love Hurts.

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5. Being in the same city doesn’t seem far enough, I cannot stop thinking of her.

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6. I’m crying typing this: When I Look at You.

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7. I wish you the best life.

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8. No words needed: Disappear.

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9. It’s storming in my heart.

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10. I mistakenly thought this was not us: Almost in Love.

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11. It seems this was not us.

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12. And not just of a sexual nature: Dreaming of You.

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13. I fear this.

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14. Thank you karma, you hurt: Instant Karma.

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15. and our final lesson comes from the Twitter personality Bauvard – A work of art should stand on its own, divorced from the personality of the creator. That is the only way the creator can be a work of art in himself.  

So what am I learning? Embrace that individual inside you who has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms. And above all, be true to you – if you cannot put your heart into it, take yourself out of it. Starting today…

1. Get your priorities right.

2. Take full responsibilities for your goals.

3. Know your worth.

4. Choose the right perspective.

5. Don’t let your old problems punish your dreams

6. Choose the things that truly matter.

7. Love You.

8. Accept your strengths and Weaknesses.

9. Stand up for You.

10. Learn from others, and move on when you must.

11. Be honest in your relationships.

12. get comfortable with being UNcomfortable.

13. Be who you were born to be.

14. Never give up on You.

The playlist today is a bit maudlin, we begin with Kayne West, go back to the 1970s to hear that song by Nazareth. The four pop divas: Miley Cyrus, Beyonce, Olivia O’Brien and Selena. We finish off with John Lennon: Love Hurts!!!

This will not stop me from spreading the ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. I have extended it to a million people in my new tribe: Thriving People.

Join if you wish. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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What the Fuck is Intimacy, anyway?


I spent the day with the remarkable woman who has come into my life. In new relationships often the sexual side of it is what is most relevant, as the lust factor is high. The question I asked her before I went there last night was would she read me the bible, as she is a woman of faith. She agreed, and it didn’t happen as many other wonderful things did.

What is intimacy, anyway? Here is a shot at four different types:

  • Experiential Intimacy: When people bond during leisure activities. People may “sync up” their actions in teamwork or find themselves acting in unison.
    • Example: A father and son work together to build a model train, developing a rhythm to their teamwork.
  • Emotional Intimacy: When people feel safe sharing their feelings with each other, even uncomfortable ones.
    • Example: A woman confides in her sister about her body image issues. She trusts her sibling to offer comfort rather than using her insecurities against her.
  • Intellectual Intimacy: When people feel comfortable sharing ideas and opinions, even when they disagree.
    • Example: Two friends debate the meaning of life. They enjoy hearing each other’s opinions and don’t feel the need to “win” the argument.
  • Sexual Intimacy: When people engage in sensual or sexual activities. When people use the word “intimacy,” they are often referring to this type.
    • Example: Two lovers engage in foreplay, knowing how each other prefers to be touched.

So can you guess what we did? We did the dishes, set up a piece of furniture, discussed how we were feeling and why was, mainly me resisting being present to it, massaged each other, cleaned the stovetop and went for an hours walk. It was serene and magnificent in its intimacy.

How does the world relate to intimacy, lets walk down that road together:

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1. I met you six years ago. It was definitely worth the wait.

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2. When I reach this plateau, my body tingles all over: Soul Kind of Feeling.

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3. A writer of words, a poetic soul, an emotive expressionist, Ranata Suzuki is a poet and quote writer whose eloquent words form with painful clarity the sad yet beautiful world of the broken heart. An anonymous writer based in Sydney, Australia, Ranata is known only by her avatar of a bird carrying a book.

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4. How does the end of someone’s hair, become erotic. It’s easy in the land of intimacy: What Am I?

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5. I confess I have made those 3am texts.

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6. Especially now in lockdown in Melbourne, Australia we have to wear a mask when we leave the house: Bette Davis Eyes.

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7. When you get into this kind of intimacy sex feels redundant at times.

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8. Be weird with me, baby: Love is a Battlefield.

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9. We did this for part of our walk today.

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10. At times, I caught myself falling into hers when she looked back at me: Soul Man.

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11. And then there is the ultimate love, love of self.

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12.  I am actually feeling the I Love You’ in my heart, Yum: I Love You.

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13. And it takes work to achieve this state, AS Katie Byron says, time to do Te Work.

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14. Snap: Hurt.

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15. I took trust out of the picture, she told me to fuck off until I had got the cost of this in our relationship, lucky for me she has an awesome heart.

So I am on a journey of intimacy, perhaps for the first time truly in my 66-year-old life, it feels magnificent.

Today’s playlist begins with an Australian classic from the Dynamic Hepnotics, followed by Edie Bricknell and the New Bohemians. Two classic female rockers from last century are next, Kim Carnes and Pat Benetar. Sam and Dave then lay some funky R and B on us. We move back into the present with Billy Ellish and complete with the Man in Black, Johny Cash: What the Fuck is Intimacy, Anyway?

So the purpose of my ethos for the world: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included is to have more intimacy available in the world. Until we meet again my dear friends.

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How Can You Mend A Broken Heart!!!


You may have noticed my past 5 blogs have been about growing friendship with my friend Amy. It moved quickly and then spectacularly into becoming lovers against all the reasons the world tells you that a friendship between two people 28 years apart in age should. Being used to a single life, where you domestic actions didn’t have a lot of repercussions to being in a partnership saw me totally do some things that have unfortunately taken it from you are the greatest lover I have ever had and talk about moving in together to stop treating me like I am your mother in a period just greater than 24 hours.

Did we really love each other, yes we did, but I allowed my actions to move our relationship from our hearts to her head. I sit here writing this close to tears and I have cried about ten times in my 66 years, my parents once sent me to a phycologist to see why I couldn’t during my teenage years, it didn’t resolve anything and I am still a non-crier basically. The only thing that shifted it was the joy I felt in my love for Amy, I would be sitting on a railway station and feel tears of joy welling up, very un Rod Williams like.

My relationship consultant friend who is also a phycologist advised that we should not contact each other for 30 days as to go from the passion of a ten to the lesser feelings of friendship, say a three to a five we had to journey through our grief and sadness at to what we had lost, as moments this sacred are rare in people’s lives. I fight with the urge daily to break this especially when Amy contacted me. I wanted to write platitudes how I would do anything to get back together, but this is the act of 17-year-old first love. I must admit after 12 years it did feel a bit like this for me.

I realise I could write 1,000s of words what this woman means to me, I will journal them later, so what has the world said about relationship breakdowns and broken hearts over the years. Let’s have a look:

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1. Oh, how I wished I could have stopped this occurring.

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2. Oh, how my heart yearns for this: How Can You Mend A Broken Heart.

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3. I love His Holiness quotes, but my heart does not want to agree with this one at all.

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4. Crossed fingers, but it fucking hurts so much at the moment: Don’t Judge Me.

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5. One of the things I did not do was break glass but forgetting to thank her most of the time was just as devastating.

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6. And to me, it is you: My Immortal.

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7. I am feeling this more and more as the pain slides away.

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8. I am not ready for Amy to do that yet, I may not be responsible for my reaction in the emotional state I am in at the present: Run Through The Jungle.

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9. This hurts in the I still love her zone.

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10. I was the storm: Riders On The Storm.

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11. I didn’t really do the second thing or did I, she has gone.

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12. I lost in the first round: Street Fighting Man.

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13. Ken oath.

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14. We talked about our families a lot: We are Family.

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15 And for our final lesson, well said Trent.

I spoke to a friend halfway through writing this for half an hour because I believe she has wisdom in this area. She advised me three things: 1. Take ownership for your part of the breakdown and look for the red flags that were there for it to happen. 2. Make agreements, keep them. If you are going to break them, communicate, communicate, communicate. 3. Take time to heal before you think about going back there, and do this day by day.

I am just doing these things now.

The playlist today is funk and rock and roll, we begin with the title track by The Bee Gees, then Chris Brown. Evanescence sneaks in this century’s rock track, then we go back in time to CCR, The Doors and the Rolling Stones. We complete with a ten minute epic by Chic and Sister Sledge, enjoy, it rocks: How can you mend a Broken Heart!!!

In my heartbreak, I have started a new tribe around my ethos Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. It is called Thriving People – People who wish to make a difference to Humanity, my intention is a 1,000,000 people take up the challenge, here is the link to join, I would love you too: Thriving People.

Until we meet again my dear friends.

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