The joy of a new relationship!!! At the tender age of 65 one has entered my life. This one is special, sacred, even. Based on the premises of interpersonal therapy, it is about discovering your deeply held feelings, not the shallow on top immediate throwaway lines our identity serves up to protect us from really looking at what is going on for one.
I am naff at being with my anger with others, especially when I am angry with my new partner, I throw up frustration and sadness as my defences, seemingly unwilling to walk the depths of my anger, which makes her angrier with my seeming ineptness to journey in that particular area. We speak for hours at a time each day and go from deep love to telling each other to fuck off and never to speak to each other again. It is a mighty journey and warms my heart to the depth of my soul.
So why are I and so many people on the planet afraid of expressing their anger, which I am discovering more and more is healthy for one? What has the human race said about expressing anger over the years, here are a few of my favourite things:
1. The simplicity of saying I feel angry and sitting with it and not making it go away instantly is a skill I am getting better at day by day.
2. His holiness, a man who is depicted as never getting angry, has these wise words on the subject: His Holiness on Anger.
3. And that patience is willing to stand in the anger and resolve what is causing it.
4. Pushed down, this is what anger can cause in your body: Lose Yourself.
5. Anger is where all the things hangout.
6. Interpersonal Therapy is not easy but practised well, it is transformational: Dark Horse.
7. As necessary as eating breakfast.
8. And withholding and not growing in each moment, each interaction is not: Rolling In The Deep.
9. Mine surfaces as pain and a headache across the front of my head.
10. Amy is very skilled at this: Man Down.
11. This is one of my faults in being with anger, I am cruel to myself a lot.
12. And one way of doing this that. is very powerful is to sit inside the anger: Not Afraid.
13. The power of working through feelings so there is growth from an interaction is extraordinary.
14. And from the founder of Buddhism, comes this pearl: I’m Ready.
15. And for our final lesson, we return to the Buddha again with a different but similar message.
Is it worth facing my anger to grow into the space that I feel is available in this relationship? I have never been more certain of something in my life. Will there be pain, yes. Will, there be joy at the breakthroughs, yes, and will there be suppressed anger rising to the surface, fuck yes.
The playlist begins with His Holiness, followed by Eminem. Three pop divas follow: Katie Perry, Adele and Rhianna. Back to Eminem and we finish the set with Sam Smith: Is it for Life?
We discussed what our passions were yesterday. What clearly came to the surface was that I am never going to fulfil my dreams of having the ethos: Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included whilst I am suppressing my anger in the world. Until we met again my dear friends.