How Do I Make It Up To You?


Been journeying the workshop scene lately: Dancing Eros for Men – a 7-week journey into the female archetypes, Expand The Box and Possibility Lab, two 5 day journeys into radical responsibility and the Tantra is Love Sexuality workshop last weekend.

Each comes with notes and exercises of sorts and I am really enjoying reading and expanding from Clinton Callahan/s book Directing the Power of Conscious Feelings: Grab a copy. In this life-altering book, there are the distinctions between low and high drama. Low drama is what we play out with each other, fulfilling one of the roles of victim, rescuer or perpetrator in our day to day scenarios, we are very skilled at this as we are trained from a very early age to fill one of these roles.

High drama is taking responsibility for change in your life. The page I opened the book to has a list about how to train yourself in living in a high drama state, here it is:

  1. Refuse to leave the adult ego state, where you are yourself in the minimized now of the present moment. Put a stake in the ground there.
  2. Declare that you are not a victim. If there is not a victim, there can be no low drama.
  3. Consciously feed your four distinct feelings: anger, sadness, joy, fear.
  4. Detect if you are experiencing a present feeling or an emotion projected from your past or from an authority figure or institution ( Hint, if the feeling lasts longer than a few minutes, it is an emotion.)
  5. Use your emotions to detect the healing you need to do.
  6. Use your feelings to responsibly handle things
  • Make a boundary/become the boundary
  • Ask for what you want
  • Make a decision yes or no
  • Make a distinction, be precise
  • Start something/End Something

7. Neutrally observe what is going on. Choose what is.

8. Make a paper thin gap of nothingness between you and your box

9. Take radical responsibility for creating your circumstances. It is no one else’s fault.

10. If there are other people’s voices in your head, blast them away with your voice blaster.

11. Apologise for your patterns that have caused the breakdown.

12. Willingly enter the pain of remorse. Clear your resentments.

13. Be authentic about your inauthenticity.

14. Determine whose problem it is. If it is your problem, take responsibility. If it is not your problem, it is none of your business.

15. Get centred, Find and keep your attention. Stay unhookable.

16. Use your innate genius to continuously invent new ways to get out of a low drama.       Share what you learn with your friends and your enemies.

For the terms you do not understand, I recommend getting the book. Responsibility  is one of those words that can plug you in  if you are operating from low drama, so what does our society say about it, here are a few statements about it:

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1. Being in your now is another part of the training, some of us hang around in our now for 15 years, what if now was three seconds.

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2. But I can’t, Its too hard, I’m scared, which way is this: The Real Slim Shady.

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3. One plays in the dirt, the other soars above storms.

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4. Yes, you, you are one powerful motherf****: Diamonds.

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5. What is your word for it?

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6. Hal actually died at age 20. Hit head-on by a drunk driver at 70 miles per hour, he was clinically dead for 6 minutes, broke 11 bones, and eventually woke from a coma to be told by doctors that he would never walk again. Not only did Hal walk, but he also went on to run a 52-mile ultra-marathon and become a hall of fame business achiever—before the age of 30: Back From The Dead.

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7. Another word for a perpetual victim.

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8. The most natural path to fulfilling your destiny, take responsibility for your life: Buttons.

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9. If you can own no matter, you instantly become free.

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10. Actions not words, for me. I watched Question Time for our legislature yesterday and could clearly see why they lost the confidence of the general population a long time ago, it was like a bad stand up comedy performance: This is Me. 

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11. Reading mainstream media makes it okay not to do this, it is all low drama.

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12. The three-sided triangle, the cause, the solution and the matter, Yes, please: What makes you Stronger.

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13. What a great insight to have in our lives.

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14. Are you really a leader if you do not ultimately accept it: Responsibility. 

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15. “A new civilization is emerging in our lives, and blind men everywhere are trying to suppress it. This new civilisation brings with it new family styles; changed ways of working, loving, and living; a new economy; new political conflicts; and beyond all this an altered consciousness as well…The dawn of this new civilisation is the single most explosive fact of our lifetimes.”

Alvin Toffler, from The Third Wave (1980)

Here is an example of low drama vs. high drama: You are the dinner table, and you would like some water to drink, and you say “I am really thirsty,” you are playing victim to a low drama, trying to manipulate someone else into rescuing you. If instead, you say, “Harry, will you please pass the water, you are playing the warrior in a high drama. High drama is that simple.

All but one song are from this century on today’s playlist: We begin with Eminem and Rhianna. We then shift to rock with Skillet, then three pop divas, firstly The Pussy Cat Dolls, Kesha and finishing the trio with Kelly Clarkson. Finally one for the kids by Dolly Parton. Here’s the playlist link: How Do I Make It Up to You.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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You can Play a Shoestring if you’re Sincere!!


I’m reading s great book called The Big Little Book of Resilience by Matthew Johnstone at the moment. Matthew wrote and illustrated it. It is subtitled How to Bounce back from adversity and lead a fulfilling Life. Each page has a little bit of wisdom with a supportive image.

Accepting what we can and cannot change is one of the most important aspects of understanding resilience. it’s learning to work with and grow what’s right in our lives while accepting, but not putting all our energy into , what’s not.

So bringing sincerity into our lives allows us to see what are our rights and what will empower us. Lets have a look at what people have said about rights over the years:

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1. Standing up for your rights means that you do not have to offend or please others all the time, It gives you time to consider them.

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2. This brave young woman has raised the voices of half the world’s population: Roar.

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3. You have the right to…. it’s up to you, whatever you listen to in your mind takes hold.

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4. I have difficulty with one of these, guess which one: Same Love.

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5. Our voices are given to us for a reason, It’s you time to use it.

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6. I say this to you all, you can do it, you rock: I will Survive.

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7. As a race, we have a fair way to go with this one.

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8. This year, I became a tutor to three Chinese mothers. Before I did this I didn’t realize who little I know about other cultures on the planet and how much my group of friends is from the one culture: Where is The Love.

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9. Mainstream media, Whilst in the hospital with my mum I unfortunately had to view it. The word puerile and the meaning of this question come to mind.

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10. As it say above, be a voice. This period of time in raising your your children cannot be taken back without some serious therapy bills if you stuff it up: Teach Your Children Well. 

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11. How do millions of people turn into killers during the time of war. Often they were neighbors who had lived next to each other peacefully for years and years. The above sentence speaks very loudly.

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12. The federal government in my home country, Australia seem to have forgotten this, they are about to implement a national Grade 1 grammar test: Better Place.

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13. This haunting image could not let me not include it.

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14. I spent many months contemplating this during my dark times. It was not Erin but Ruth and Jann and Hugo who said this to me, not in such dramatic style, but I heard it: Stay.

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15. Perhaps best known for the remark in a letter to an Anglican bishop, “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men. Donald Trump, or Nelson Mandela who will be remembered in the year 3030?

So I am imploring you to realize that you have rights and you have a voice. It’s our time, Its up to Us, Because we Can.

Namaste, until next time, my dear friends.

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There’s no good story without Romance!!


Had to rely on the noticeboard at work for a subject today as I forgot to bring a reference book. There was a brochure, free legal advice every Wednesday which made me think how seriously do we take free advice and when do we give it?

So what does this term mean, let’s look at each word:

free

(frē)

adj. fre·erfre·est

1.

a. Not imprisoned or confined: walked out of prison a free man; set the birds free.
b. Not controlled by obligation or the will of another: felt free to go.
2.

a. Not controlled by another country or political power; independent: free nation.
b. Governed by consent and possessing or granting civil liberties: free citizenry.
c. Not subject to arbitrary interference by a government: free press.
d. Not enslaved.
3.

a. Not affected or restricted by a given condition or circumstance: healthy animal, free of disease; people freefrom need.
b. Not subject to a given condition; exempt: income that is free of all taxes.
4.

a. Not bound by convention or the rules of form: free artistic style.
b. Not literal or exact: free translation.
5.

a. Costing nothing; gratuitous: free meal.
b. Publicly supported: free education.
6.

a. Unobstructed; clear: free lane on the highway.
b. Not occupied or used: free locker; free energy.
c. Not taken up by scheduled activities: free time between classes.
7.

a. Immoderate in giving or spending; liberal or lavish: tourists who are free with their money.
b. Frank or unguarded in expression or manner; open or outspoken: She is very free with her opinions.
8. Given, made, or done of one’s own accord; voluntary or spontaneous: free act of the will; free choices.
9. Chemistry & Physics

a. Unconstrained; unconfined: free expansion.
b. Not fixed in position; capable of relatively unrestricted motion: free electron.
c. Not chemically bound in a molecule: free oxygen.
d. Involving no collisions or interactions: free path.
e. Empty or unoccupied: free space; an atom with a free energy level.
10. Nautical Favorable: free wind.
11. Not bound, fastened, or attached: the free end of a chain.
12. Linguistics

a. Being a form, especially a morpheme, that can stand as an independent word, such as boat or bring.
b. Being a vowel in an open syllable, as the o in go.

 

ad·vice

(ăd-vīs′)

n.

1. Opinion about what could or should be done about a situation or problem; counsel.
2. oftenadvicesInformation communicated; news: advices from an ambassador.
When combines it seems to relate to legal advice, but what do we say about free advice, here we go:
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1. Jack was involved with Canada’s sporting obsession: Ice Hockey for 46 years as a player and a coach. What do you rely on, the former or the latter?
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2. You know who these people are in your life, only reserve for the special ones: Stay.
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3. How come they ascertain beauty as fitting in a perfect mould/style of people when the greatest percentage of people do not look like that at all, thank god for personality.
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4. Take time before you reply, advice need time: Sounds of Silence.
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5. Which is more valuable to you, the latter does it for me.
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6. Sage advice to take on the path to success or just living life: Unfinished.
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7. What a beautiful line this is, do you love the most?
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8. Ain’t that the truth, as they come out of your mouth the counter starts turning: Love Story.
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9. Time to power up in your daily conversations. Don’t waste words where they are not welcomed.
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10. Who is more expert on your needs and desires than that person in the mirror, after all: Talking to Myself.
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11. More or Less, your choice.
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12. Leave the fake news and images to the media who want your money, listen to your heart: The Man I want to Be.
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13. Rin is a manga character, her advice will have you work out who are the keepers in your life.
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14. I met one of my best buddies at a very drunken and stoned parties in inner suburban melbourne playing trees, she is definitely not a dead leaf: Tree.
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15. We are the Martin Luther Kings and Nelson Mandela’s of our time, we have the same 24 hours in a day they did.
So come along to the East Reservoir Community Hub and get some free advice, or if you can’t make it, find it where you can.
Namaste until next time, my dear friends.
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Do you know who you Are?


I am about to begin my journey as a Sacred Love Workshop leader. I came up with the concept on the dance floor at Mojo Dance one night when I looked around and noticed that most of the people would go home alone but that they were all beautiful people and deserved so much more. About half an hour later the term Sacred Love came to me, and the concept that we had stopped being vulnerable with each other and telling each other our sacred stories.

I am still reading Daring Greatly, up to the section on vulnerability, the true caring and feeding of our spirits. Lets open up the board on vulnerability:

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1. Declaring herself as a poet and a woman in progress, Raquel Franco in her book of poetry Keep me Wild delves deeply into the bravery it takes to be vulnerable.

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2. I had to choose carefully so I didn’t end up with 15 Brene Brown quotes on vulnerability, but I like the simplicity of this one: You are so Beautiful.

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3. Considered an important figure in postmodern literature. Steven Poole of The Guardian praised Murakami as “among the world’s greatest living novelists” for his works and achievements. I love his cure.

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4. How many years do we forget this for between the openness of our childhood to having it be OK again: Vulnerable.

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5. I have a new friend tell me about her twin sisters death a month after I met her. I asked her why she had told me. She said that she felt she could trust me with anything.

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6. In my Sacred Love workshop you will practice declaring you weaknesses and your strengths for each chakra: When you Believe.

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7. We must never forget the shadow as well as the light, we need to go to both places to free our vulnerability.

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8. Open your heart the whole way, the most courageous act a human being can partake in: Open Your Heart.

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9. They say masked balls are the epitome of High Society. Myself, I reckon an unmasking ball would be a much more inviting evening.

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10. I don’t understand these modern gurus who make you pay thousands of dollars to yell and scream for a weekend as a way to be empowered when the above is what connects people and turns you into a leader: Thank U.

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11. In the classic relationship movie Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf, this quote is lived out on the screen . It was nominated for 23 awards.

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12. From Avatar, the classic scene: I see You, do you have the courage to say it to your loved ones and friends: I See You.

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13. One of the great paradoxes of life, if we withhold our trust of others we never reach the plateau of Love and Joy.

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14. I wonder what the tipping point is for reversing this situation for the planet, the Dalai Lama is working on it: Unconditionally.

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15. Finally use all of it.

The quest is to know yourself first and then this will allow others to reveal themselves to you.

Namaste until next time, my  dear friends.

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It is What it Is!!


They say when people break up there are three versions: Yours, Theirs and Reality as to what really happened. There are 7,000,000,000 versions of reality walking around the planet. Some are very similar as they label themselves as belonging to a religious or political belief system and this often takes away the act of thinking freely.

Life is what it is, some of it affects our reality more than other actions do. At the moment it seems to be terrorism or mass migration that is on the top of the list of what is wrong with reality. I don’t think these are new to the world as my country is a totally migratory country except for the indigenous First Australians.

What have they said about reality over the centuries, let’s go on that journey:

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1. Who would have thought someone from the 18th centuries quote would be so relevant these days. As idealists, we get a little exasperated with tedious attention to prices over people, numbers over names, logic over love.

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2. We form our reality and Jarod Kintz points out a practice that stains it: Inconsiderate.

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3. In the great book the Fear Cure, Lissa Rankin points out there are two types of fear. one you should listen to because you are in danger and the other that are all those thinks you think will happen if you do something and never actually do.

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4. Danish philosopher Soren Kieregaard was considered to be the first existentialist philosopher. Much of his philosophical work deals with the issues of how one lives as a “single individual”, giving priority to concrete human reality over abstract thinking and highlighting the importance of personal choice and commitment: Let It Go.

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5. They say police often have trouble getting facts about what happens at a crime scene because of what is written in the above quote.

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6. I wonder how many people live by this premise, I don’t think it’s a question they ask in the census: Made to Dream.

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7. It took being shot for this remarkable young woman to be listened to. I think she will fulfill this reality.

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8. Mainstream media seems to have forgotten this seeing the way they interpret life: I’ll Show You.

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9. Andy tried many ways to change reality in the 1960’s. His works explored the relationship between artistic expression, celebrity culture, and advertising that flourished by the 1960s and utilize a variety of media, including painting, silk screening, photography, film, and sculpture. Some of his best-known works include the silkscreen paintings Campbell’s Soup Cans (1962) and Marilyn Diptych (1962), the experimental film Chelsea Girls (1966), and the multimedia events known as the Exploding Plastic Inevitable (1966-67).

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10.In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes. Why do we resist the latter so ferociously: Rivers of Tears.

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11. Management expert James O’Toole, in a 2005 issue of Compass, published by Harvard University’s John F. Kennedy School of Government, claimed that Bennis developed “an interest in a then-nonexistent field that he would ultimately make his own — leadership — with the publication of his ‘Revisionist Theory of Leadership’ in Harvard Business Review in 1961.” O’Toole observed that Bennis challenged the prevailing wisdom by showing that humanistic, democratic-style leaders are better suited to dealing with the complexity and change that characterize the leadership environment.

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12. How often do we fall for this, that what is said about us is the actual reality vs. what we are actually experiencing: Human.

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13. It changes moment to moment, each one a new reality.

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14. Or seemingly not in mainstream media. If we believed them we would think the whole world is at war or committing acts of terrorism or be dying in accidents: Don’t Lie.

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15. They looked across the room and fell in love/lust. The reality struck when they tried a relationship.

So what is your reality?   How do you arrive at it and when are you willing to change it?

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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Is Your House Clean?


My mentor Arion writes great poetry, he wrote this about befriending who you really are:

Oh Great Mystery

Beloved friend who has always been

I see you have a thousand faces

And a thousand ways you dance in my skin

So Before I quest to see your one true face

Let me delight in each and every one

For each is so precious that I sing

From my bones and through my blood

For in staring into your thousand directions

I embrace you, again and again

So having attempted to befriend all the different modalities that make us our own best friends how do we walk the journey of friendship with others, let’s take that beautiful trip:

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1. Jean de La Fontaine (IPA; 8 July 1621 – 13 April 1695) was a famous French fabulist and one of the most widely read French poets of the 17th century. He is known above all for his Fables, which provided a model for subsequent fabulists across Europe and numerous alternative versions in France, and in French regional languages. What a fabulous word fabulist is!! It means a person who composes or relates fables or a liar, especially one who invents elaborately dishonest stories – “a born fabulist, with an imagination unfettered by the laws of logic and probability”

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So there is only one song I can use for this, take it away Slade: Mama, We’re all Crazee Now.

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3. You get the whole gamut with a true friend.

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4. I have had several of these through my life, includes my siblings and a couple of others: Lay Me Down.

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5. Remember when we ………… fill in the blanks, only your bestie can.

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6. They are the people you call when you need someone to do this or kick you up the arse: Cry me a River.

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7. At one time in our lives, our best friends were a rabbit and their friend in this quote, the teddy bear. I’m sure they did this for us.

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8. it’s fantastic having people in your lives that you haven’t seen for years but it feels like 5 seconds,  I think this is what this quote is pointing out: That’s what friends are For.

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9. I totally agree with you, Hubert, so have I.

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10. I met one of these people in a restaurant in Leningrad. Raisa was a soviet submarine officer who pressed the nuclear buttons: Thinking the same Thing.

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11. Concise but very true by Ralph.

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12. Two of the great philosophers, Piglet and Pooh hit the spot with this one: Friends for Life.

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13. This puts you in the class of superhero.

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14. Reminds me of the night I ended up in the back of a divvy van with my friend Petar, It didn’t work then either: Scuz Me.

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15. My friend Kavisha sings a song Bound for Glory with a line that goes: We are Angels, We’ve forgotten these things and are wings are broken, Luckily we have good friends who remind us they are not.

So fall in love with your thousand friends that reside in your body and get out there and meet someone else’s thousand.

Namaste until next time my dear friends

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It’s often its own Reward!!


Being rewarded, is that receiving you a financial salary for what you do in life? Or is it a more spiritual path as spoken of by luminaries like His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Deepak Chopra and Carolyn Myss.

Above me, there is a flier advertising the Compassionate Voices Community Choir quoting words such as Rejoice, Improve, Connect and Learn. If this is what being Compassionate has to offer I’m on board.

In our busy lives, compassion is one of those things that is easy to drop out, for ourselves and others. So let’s have a look at what society has said to remind us not to do that over the centuries:

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1. I recently read a quote that said do not complain for 24 hours, not even once and your life would transform. I can imagine the same applies for judging oneself and others.

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2. Putting life off is not a part of a Compassionate journey. it would be like being in the now moment to moment. How much more would you get done if you did not procrastinate over things: Do It Right Now.

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3. Grandparents are old, even older than our parents, and our younger siblings, why do they cling so hard? These are ideas you need to transform because you will probably be all these things sometime in your life.

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4. Always have a mirror around so that you can remember you always have someone to practice compassion with, the most important person in your life: Compassion.

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5. Compassion has some worth housemates, these are some of them.

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6. Compassion, another name could be heart to heart surgery: Open Your Heart.

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7. How would the world transform if we taught compassion in the education system as well as knowledge? I say it would be a very different place.

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8. The compulsory cute animal photo quote, If you don’t ask or act what you think is purely supposition: Rolling In the Deep.

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9. As Byron Katie said in her quote we always have someone to practice compassion with. And when we get that down pat we can then open our heart to others.

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10. I’m the leader, the leader of the gang of compassion I am, so can you be too: Leader of the Pack.

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11. Each of our senses has a purpose that can empower our lives and the world.

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12. Probably better known as Uma Thurman’s dad, Robert Alexander Farrar Thurman (born August 3, 1941) is an American Buddhist writer and academic who has written, edited or translated several books on Tibetan Buddhism. He is the Je Tsongkhapa Professor of Indo-Tibetan Buddhist Studies at Columbia University, holding the first endowed chair in this field of study in the United States. He also is the co-founder and president of the Tibet House New York and is active against the People’s Republic of China’s control of Tibet: Om Mani Pad Me Hung.

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13. Have compassion for the days to come, keep growing and creating the best day of your life.

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14. Thoughts don’t get a lot done, it needs physical actions as well for anything to happen: Would You.

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15. They call it the technological revolution, don’t forget the spiritual technologies such as compassion, kindness, serenity, mindfulness and humility.

Remember to look in the mirror when you first get up and say I Love You then go and pass it on to whoever you come across during the day.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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