Everyone Has Oceans to Fly!!

How do you know the difference between your preferences and your boundaries? I am doing this amazing online public speaking course called RISE with Fleassy Malay, it is the top 5 courses I have ever done, and I have done a lot over the years: Enter Fleassy’s World. and she points out that we often mix the two up, preferences become boundaries and boundaries become preferences. How do they differ, let’s look at their definitions:

Preference is defined as:

the fact that you like something or someone more than another thing or person:

Her preference is for comfort rather than stylish clothes.
I have a preference for sweet food over spicy.
Choosing furniture is largely a matter of personal preference.
It would be wrong to discriminate against a candidate because of their sexual preference (= the sex of the people they are sexually attracted to).

an advantage that is given to a person or a group of people:

We give preference to those who have worked with us for a long time.
Special preferences were offered initially to encourage investment.
Boundaries are defined as:
Like physical boundaries, emotional boundaries define separateness. Your emotional boundaries are the property lines that separate your thoughts and feelings from those of other people.
To me, preferences live in the realms of the examples above and boundaries are those gut feelings that much our stomach churn when we know they are not being respected or people have just walked through them.
So what does our society have to say about boundaries, there were some quite different expressions of it when I looked.
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1. Unlimited giving is a surefire recipe for health problems to emerge.

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2. Remember the age-old formulae: You are the result of the five people you spend the most time with, choose wisely: Get Up, Stand Up.

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3. Lamott has described why she writes: I try to write the books I would love to come upon, that are honest, concerned with real lives, human hearts, spiritual transformation, families, secrets, wonder, craziness—and that can make me laugh. When I am reading a book like this, I feel rich and profoundly relieved to be in the presence of someone who will share the truth with me, and throw the lights on a little, and I try to write these kinds of books. Books, for me, are medicine.

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4. You may lose some of your peeps when you put them in place, and who they are may surprise you: Brene’s take on it.

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5. Boundaries bring out people’s real nature.

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6. Have clarity when you set them, and then stand by them as if you are defending your child’s life: No Need to Argue.

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7. Boundaries actually increase your ability to give over time.

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8. You have to wake up with you in the morning, so make sure the respect is there: Respect.

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9. Teach the people in your life, or they will make it up how they relate to you.

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10. If how you relate to people crosses more than the one on one relationship you have some work to do: Crossing Boundaries.

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11. Today’s boundaries are how you live your life.

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12. Don’t accept an invitation if it crosses your boundaries, as said above no is a complete sentence: Ball and Chain.

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13. But always remember there are times your boundaries need to be fluid.

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14. Brene: Boundaries equals being courageous: Perfect.

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15. Our final lesson comes from the great Persian poet, Rumi. Have boundaries but remember to remain curious.

As we travel along our timeline some preferences may become boundaries and boundaries preferences. that is the joy of being human, each moment is a new experience allowing us to chose to grow or diminish. It’s up to Us, Because We Can, It’s our Time.

The Playlist honours some extremely powerful divas today. We begin with the only male, Bob Marley. The spoken word is next from Brene Brown. The sultry voice of the lead singer of The Cranberries is next followed by the powerful vocals of Aretha Franklin. Then a mini discovery in Mina AlAli. One of the great performances from the ’60s is next by Janis Joplin and we close with Pink: Everyone Has Oceans To Fly.

I don’t really like the other types of boundaries, I am fighting them as hard as possible to ensconce my world paradigm of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until next we meet, my dear friends.

Earth Tribe

 

 

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