It Can Struggle, But the Bond Cannot Be Broken!!!


Today, I am writing about how I often feel when I am in the presence of love directed towards me. What do you think the first line of the above quote I chose for the title of this blog was? It was about a version of love never failing the test. Yes, it was Unconditional Love, and through the experience of my identity, I know I have struggled with this over the years. Researching this I came across a great article on the matter: called Soulmates and Unconditional Love in a journal called PyschCentral by Darlene Lancer, here are the guts of it:

Are you searching for a soulmate or unconditional love? Your quest can set you on an impossible journey to find an ideal partner. The problem is twofold: People and relationships can never achieve perfection. Often unconditional and conditional love are confused.

Usually, we yearn for unconditional love because we didn’t receive it in childhood and fail to give it to ourselves. Of all relationships, parental love, particularly maternal love, is the most enduring form of unconditional love. (In prior generations, paternal love was thought of as conditional.) But in fact, most parents withdraw their love when they’re overstressed or when their children misbehave. To a child, even timeouts can feel like emotional abandonment. Thus, rightly or wrongly, most parents at times only love their children conditionally.

Is Unconditional Love Possible?

Unlike romantic love, unconditional love does not seek pleasure or gratification. Unconditional love is more a state of receptivity and allowing, which arises from our own “basic goodness,” says Trungpa Rimpoche. It’s the total acceptance of someone — powerful energy emanating from the heart.

Love that is unconditional transcends time, place, behaviour, and worldly concerns. We don’t decide who we love, and sometimes don’t know why. The motives and reasons of the heart are unfathomable, writes Carson McCullers:

The most outlandish people can be the stimulus for love. . . The preacher may love a fallen woman. The beloved may be treacherous, greasy-headed, and given to evil habits. Yes, and the lover may see this as clearly as anyone else — but that does not affect the evolution of his love one whit. ~ The Ballad of the Sad Café (2005), p. 26

McCullers explains that most of us prefer to love than be loved:

. . . the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself. It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. ~ ibid

Ideally, the giving and receiving of unconditional love is a unitary experience. Couples experience this most frequently when falling in love. It also happens when someone fearlessly opens up to us in an intimate setting. It’s a being-to-being recognition of that which is unconditional in each of us, our humanity, as if to lovingly say, “Namaste,” meaning: “The God (or divine consciousness) within me salutes the God within you.” When we delight in another’s being-ness, boundaries may dissolve in what feels like a spiritual experience. This allows energy to flow into places of resistance that surround our heart and can be deeply healing. It can happen during moments of vulnerability during therapy.

Yet, inevitably, these occurrences don’t last, and we return to our ordinary ego state — our conditioned self. We all have our preferences, idiosyncrasies, and particular tastes and needs, which have been conditioned by our upbringing, religion, society, and experiences. We also have limits about what we will and won’t accept in a relationship. When we love conditionally, it’s because we approve of our partner’s beliefs, needs, desires, and lifestyle. They match up with ours and give us comfort, companionship, and pleasure.

We’re fortunate to meet someone we can love conditionally and, at times, unconditionally. The combination of both forms of love in one relationship makes our attraction intense. It’s the closest we come to finding a soulmate.

How has humanity related to unconditional love over the decades, here are some ways they have taken a cut at it:

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1. Rev. Melony McGant aka Miss Mellie Rainbow is a storyteller, thought-leader, humanist, poet, & compassionate communications professional with more than 30 years experience in helping people find love. How my Essence must be flowing I feel for love of another to be present.

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2. As said in this quote it is a daily journey towards it: We Need Love.

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3. There are no Google entries for Akashwani, there should be just because of this quote.

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4. Oops, they got it wrong: Skin.

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5. The King Dick Gregory is talking about is Martin Luther King Jnr.

During the turbulent 1960s, Gregory became a pioneer in stand-up comedy for his “no-holds-barred” sets, in which he mocked bigotry and racism. He performed primarily to black audiences at segregated clubs until 1961, when he became the first black comedian to successfully cross over to white audiences, appearing on television and putting out comedy record albums.

Gregory was at the forefront of political activism in the 1960s, when he protested the Vietnam War and racial injustice. He was arrested multiple times and went on many hunger strikes. He later became a speaker and author, primarily promoting spirituality.

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6. You must have the strength in all situations, even the shitty ones: The Greatest Love of All.

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7. The scientific explanation of why love is not based on looks.

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8. Dedicated, Caring, Disciplined, Wise, Precise, Power-full, Committed and Cheeky are words often used to describe Tanya Curtis. She is the Founder and Managing Director of Fabic Behaviour Specialist Centre and Co-Founder and Managing Director of Sunlight Ink Publishing. Tanya is also an award-winning Business Woman, Behaviour Specialist, Teacher, Course Writer, Presenter, Author, DVD Presenter, App Creator, Product Developer, Mentor and Student Supervisor: Who You Are.

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9. Bliss in Love equals acceptance of both the Shadow and the Light.

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10. The times I have fallen in love have always been in spite of all the stories I tell myself why it won’t work out: Sing for My Life.

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11. I think the two words at the bottom, self-acceptance sum it up pretty damn well!!

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12. I can hardly see without my glasses at times, but I do see and agree with this: Superficial Love.

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13. If the future Buddha says it, I’m in.

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14. All or None: Love ‘Em All

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15. And for the final lesson, a four-word mantra you must never forget in the game of love.

Opening the Heart

Unconditional love isn’t a high ideal we need to achieve. Actually, striving after it removes us from the experience. It’s always present as the unconditioned part of us — our “pure, primordial presence,” writes Buddhist psychologist John Welwood. He believes that we can glimpse it through mindfulness meditation. By observing our breath, we become more present and can appreciate our basic goodness. In mediation and in therapy, we find those places we choose to hide from ourselves and others.

Relationships can provide a path to opening the frozen places in our hearts. Love can melt a closed heart. However, maintaining that openness demands courage. The struggle for intimacy challenges us to continually reveal ourselves. Just when we’re tempted to judge, attack, or withdraw, we open to our hurt and that of our partner. In doing so, we discover what we’re hiding, and triggers from our past yield opportunities to heal and embrace more of ourselves.

The playlist today is chock full of pop divas singing about love. The only male starts off, John Legend doing one of his soulful numbers, then six divas: We begin with Rihanna, go back a few decades to Whitney Houston. Then hang around this century with Jessie J., Sia, Ruth B. and finish with K. Michelle: It Can Struggle but the Bond Cannot Be Broken.

if you wish to read my blog on a regular basis remember to sign up on the list with your email address. Love is a great subject for Love and Respect for All Everybody Included to manifest through. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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Someone Asked If I Knew You?


As I said in my last blog I turned 65 last week, on Sunday I attended a memorial service for a friend who will not. He was just 42 and one of the most vibrant people on the planet. He was a DJ, an environmentalist, a teacher and a beautiful man. He was taken by the big C, a condition that does not listen to reason.

In the weeks before his passing rumours spread of him passing and people began to write eulogies. He had not, so I began listening to his MixCloud sets. I was listening to one of these when posts began appearing from his nearest and dearest that he had actually passed. At this moment I received a download from him. It was just four words: Get On With It. You cannot assume you will be here to fulfil your passions and dreams next year, Get on with It.

Today an article from my friends Marc and Angel Chernoff titled 25 Things You Should Never Stop Doing for Yourself came through my news feed, I thought they were relevant:

  1. Never stop stretching and improving yourself.
  2. Never stop listening to your own inner voice.
  3. Never stop walking comfortably in your own shoes.
  4. Never stop working through your fears.
  5. Never stop being a little unrealistic.
  6. Never stop doing what needs to be done.
  7. Never stop embracing your struggles.
  8. Never stop being willing to make mistakes.
  9. Never stop getting back up.
  10. Never stop making the best of it.
  11. Never stop ignoring the naysayers.
  12. Never stop taking small steps forward.
  13. Never stop giving yourself a chance to soar to new heights.
  14. Never stop smiling.
  15. Never stop thinking positive.
  16. Never stop laughing at yourself and your life situations.
  17. Never stop appreciating the life you’re living right now.
  18. Never stop indulging in life’s little daily joys.
  19. Never stop spreading your kindness.
  20. Never stop giving what you can.
  21. Never stop giving your important relationships a fair chance.
  22. Never stop doing little things for your own happiness.
  23. Never stop opening your mind to new perspectives.
  24. Never stop evolving.
  25. Never stop writing your own story, your own way.

My friend did most of these, especially number 21, never stop giving your important relationships a chance. So how does society give friendships a chance, here are a selection of that is said about them:

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  1. Several hundred people attended the memorial for my friend. quite a few travelled from interstate, I think this supports the above statement.

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2. Through a lengthy friendship, all these and more situations arise: Black Coffee.

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3. When the physical sails off, we have the memories in our heart.

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4. As you get older and they pull down the structures of your past, it is the people that you remember who were there with you: That’s What Friends Are For.

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5. I met one of my dearest friends pretending to be a tree at a party in a flat in Carlton in the ’70s when we swayed into each other too vigorously. 

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6. The people who you can sit with next to a river for hours and not a word needs to be spoken, Fuck Yes: Down by the River.

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7. They’re the ones wearing the I’m with them tee shirts.

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8. Ama Ata Aidoonée Christina Ama Aidoo (born 23 March 1942) is a Ghanaian author, poet, playwright and academic. She was the Minister of Education under the Jerry Rawlings administration. In 2000, she established the Mbaasem Foundation to promote and support the work of African women writers because she realised it was important that all people received an education, not just the elite, She has portrayed the role of African women in contemporary society. She has opined that the idea of nationalism has been deployed by recent leaders as a means of keeping people oppressed. She has criticized those literate Africans who profess to love their country but are seduced away by the benefits of the developed world. She believes in a distinctly African identity, which she views from a female perspective: I am Woman.

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9. I think we are best at this as children.

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10. What does the F stand for: It Ain’t What You Do.

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11. There are 51 meanings for the acronym BFF, this could be for two of them: Best Friends Forever or Best Fan Forever.

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12. My friend was so good at this. Written in the 1930s or 1940s, still so relevant today: Humble and Kind.

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13. Until they are not if you have the thought I wonder how they are, time to reach out.

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14. From her Matched Trilogy of teenage novels comes this beautiful quote by author Ally Condie: Tangled Up In You.

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15. And we finish our lesson for today with the eating of buns.

We ended the ceremony with a drumming ceremony in a circle, as it lifted in energy, I could imagine our friend saying fuck this, and jumping into the middle and dancing his heart out. Farewell from the physical world, our dear friend, the eternal will hold you well as will our hearts.

The playlist for today is not really representative of the music our friend loved, but maybe it is as he loved all music. It begins with All Saints. Then drops back a century to Dionne Warwick, a long guitar solo by Neil Young, Helen Reddy and Bananarama. The penultimate track goes country by Tim Mcgraw as does the final number from Aaron Lewis: Someone Asked If I Knew You.

It took me two days to write this, it normally takes two hours. My friend lived Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. We will miss you, dear friend.

Until we meet again my dear friends, I love you.

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People Think About What They Don’t Want!!


It’s a bit of a celebration today, on Wednesday I reached the old official retirement/pension age of 65 in Australia. Our right-wing government wanted to make it seventy before the backlash became too much when it reached 68. This is also my 450th blog. What did I do on my retirement day, I went to an event called Awakening Attraction, this is the blurb for it:

There is nothing that enlivens relationships more than the potency of ‘chemistry’ – the charge, the tension and the excitement of impassioned desire.

It is this magnetism, this enchantment, this allure that is the elixir of relating and it weaves certain magic through our romantic interactions.

Without it, we may still have great ‘friendships’ or ‘partnerships’ but we will be missing out on the ‘juice’!!

Attraction has often been considered as an elusive ‘Je ne se quo’, but what if attraction was not a mystery but rather something you could understand, cultivate and play within a healthy way to bring out the best in those around you? What if you could ignite the spark of attraction and keep the flame alive in relationships?

During this interactive special evening event for men and women where we will be navigating all things ATTRACTION.

The topic we will be exploring on the night…
– When it comes to intimate relationship what is your ATTRACTION STYLE?
– Understanding the effect you have (or don’t have) on others.
– What do you WANT to attract and what are you actually attracting?
– How you ignite the spark of attraction
– How you keep the flame burning deeper in a long term relationship.

I have done the feeder program for this night called Awakening Women for Men, a transformational experience that alters how you listen to your own inner feminine, your mother, mine has passed, your sisters if you have them, your lovers and your female friends and the sister program is Awakening Men for Woman. The ethos of these programs is

We believe that at our human core our greatest longing is to be seen, felt and heard by those we love.

Awakening Connections is a new paradigm of relating that empowers people to come into deeper wholeness, love and truth.

We know a world exists where humans feel enlivened within themselves which in turn creates an opening for healthy, sexy and inspired relationships.

Relationships with self and others are the most challenging emotional experiences we face, asking us to continually evolve and grow.

We give people the ability to really step into and navigate the challenges we face and turn them into gold.

Awakening Connections celebrates the journey of relationship through embracing both its ecstatic potential as well as the gritty, real and raw nature of the human experience.

It’s time to create extraordinary relationships, are you ready?

So how has society looked at attraction over the years, here are some of my favourite ways!!!

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1. This calls out to my heartspace.

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2. In the real field of attractiveness, you do not have to live by the rules that there are only certain desires that are OK: I Feel Good.

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3. But only with consent, we do not read it right every time.

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4. Are you great at receiving your desires, it is something I am working on after years of listening to the reasons why I couldn’t in my head: Waiting for Love.

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5. Body Butter, not something taught in standard high school sex education classes.

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6. Talking about what is present in the actual moment, not saying what you think they want to hear, now that is expansive: Titanium.

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7. Do you match your desires, I am about a 5 out of 10, always working on becoming stronger at it.

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8. And once you begin to awaken your conscious self, your lifeforce does not allow you to go back: Set Fire To The Rain.

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9. Magnets are built to attract to and stick to what are the right frequencies, listen to your magnetic power.

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10. Fear prevents you from approaching what you desire and what you are attracted to, there is that classic saying have your fear and do it anyway. Over to You: Anyway.

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11. Fuck Yes!!

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12. Awakening occurs at the moment, you can do it millions of time in your life, especially around attraction: Changes.

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13. Red or Blue, which are you attracted too?

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14. Remember in this attraction game that you have unique strengths and skills, may you find the one, or even two or three that honours them: The Way.

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15. And from the most famous of philosophers Ms Unknown comes the final lesson when awakening attraction.

A week or so after doing Awakening Women for Men a dear friend of mine asked me what did I learn about women from the course, it felt like she was checking to see what secrets Alley, Shaney and Jarrod had given away. Here is my answer: I said there was too much, it will take a lifetime to take it all in, but imagine I had never met you and I walked into the room and saw you and went: we must end up as lovers. I ask you out informing you that I broke up with Janice three months ago. I would know when I am placing my projections of being with Janice on our relationship, allowing it to be new and fresh and full of love and curiosity. She smiled and said that is beautiful.

The playlist for today speaks to the awakening of attraction. We begin with the Sex Machine James Brown. then we move forward to this century with Avicii. David Guetta duets with Sia next. Adele and Martina McBride follow. @Pac does the penultimate number, finishing with Ariana Grande.

Honouring your attractions is needed if we are to live from Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. I sincerely believe that there is at least one awakened soul out there for us. Until next time, my dear friends.

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Judgement Day Is Coming!!


What does the title of this blog make you think of? The End of Days, in my case it was that I make judgements that stop me being able to be in the moment and feel what I am actually feeling moment to moment on an ongoing basis. This comes from a long history of having to KNOW what is going on and living in the belief that there is a certain way life should be especially in relationships.

I recently did this when dancing with a woman I would like to get to know a whole lot better. She made a request of me that my judgemental persona did not agree with. My People Pleasing identity did it anyway over the top of I don’t want to do this. It continued running me for three days until I had a discussion with my mentor. He pointed out that was I being in the moment of the request she had made of me or was I not being present and living inside the judgement I had made. My body shuddered as I realised the opportunity I had missed out on.

So how often as a society do we do this and what have we written about it over time? Here are a few of my favourites:

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1. How many times are we told this as children by our parents or teachers yet it doesn’t seem to sink in?

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2. Will Rogers provided an epigram: When I die, my epitaph, or whatever you call those signs on gravestones, is going to read: “I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn’t like.” I am so proud of that, I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved: It’s My Life.

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3. One could link this to many politicians as they lose their right to opinions of their own and must take on their parties beliefs and not truly act for the people who elected them.

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4. The three fingers pointing back under another name: Who You Are.

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5. He passed several years ago but the words of Wayne Dyer still hit home.

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6. Mainstream media is chock full of this: Say Something.

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7. Perhaps the most pervasive form of judgement, the silent passive-aggressive treatment.

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8. This reminds me of the famous Dalai Lama quote about are you really listening: Elastic Heart.

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9. Heartspace 101.

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10. Accepting what is and doing what it takes to have love present: Love and Compassion.

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11. Another way of saying it, is we judge the shit out of each other.

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12. Written 1900 years ago, these words are still totally relevant: The Lonely.

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13. Perfectionism, leading a mistake-free life, not following your dreams, more like letting your judgements rule your life.

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14. If people have to fit into your box, are you celebrating their uniqueness: Unique.

 

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15. And from the great Albert Camus, the final lesson. That hope we will stop judging others, the Buddhists call it enlightenment, do you have years to sit under a tree? All we can do is the best we can do not to be controlled by them each and every day.

My Essence /LifeForce is Unlimited Intimacy: when I enquire into the light of this, the shadows contained in my identity come out to play to have me learn the lessons I need to learn to cleanse my heartspace. It is an ongoing journey that I am willing to take:

Today’s playlist begins with one of Rock’s heartthrobs, John Bon Jovi. then a song I used on my previous blog, it’s so suitable for this topic too and it’s by Jessie J. Four of the remaining songs are pop diva’s, the first two being Christina Aguilera and then Sia. Our spoken-word piece is by His Holiness The Dalai Lama. We finish with Christina Perri and end with Sino: Judgement Day Is Coming.

Having my world ethos be Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included helps me when I am ravaged by the judgements my identity chooses to throw up at me on a daily basis. It reminds me of my big vision. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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You May Never Be Good Enough For Everybody!!!


Stage Two of writing about the shadow that comes with investigating possible opportunities in situations where you meet new and interesting women and you are deep in lacking confidence because you are listening to all those stories your identity has been telling you for years and years.

Self-criticism can be debilitating because when our criticism becomes internal, it can be very difficult to shake.

You know that little voice that chimes in when you screw up? The one that tells you you’re no good, or that you made a stupid decision, or that you can’t succeed? That’s the voice of selfcriticism. And you’d be surprised how often that little voice runs the show.

Marisa Peer of MindValley has a great suggestion for dealing with this form of criticism. She encourages you to change that niggling voice of self-doubt into your own personal cheerleader.

The first step is being able to recognize the negative self-talk when it’s in action. The second step? Flipping the commentary to something more positive.

Marisa suggests imagining what a supportive parent or teacher might tell you. Would they tell you that you’re no good and that you’re only going to screw it up? No. They’d tell you that you’re a rock star and that you should keep trying and that you’re smart enough to get this done.

“It’s okay to make mistakes because you learn,” explains Marisa. “It is okay for someone to point out your mistakes because you can get better. What’s not okay is to beat yourself up.”

Unfortunately, I did not do this Saturday at Mojo – The Dance of Connection, I got stuck in my identity and gave myself a good beating.

What do the masters say about self-confidence, lets have a look:

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1. Saturday night I failed Number One.

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2. Forgot some of these essential self-loving things Saturday: Hey You.

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3. Thich Nhat Hanh is one of our wisest.

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4. Goethe learnt this at an early age, earning royal recognition at the age of 25: Who You Are.

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5. Pride can be deemed to be negative or positive, most religions see it as the former and aim towards belief, in their god and yourself.

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6. I am all these things at times: This Is Me.

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7. In the book Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable: Transforming the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Dr Brené Brown, vulnerability is defined as “uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.” Brené says that “vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy and creativity.

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8. Fear or Love: Choose: Don’t Choose Out Of Fear.

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9. More about Fear.

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10. Be Okay for it to be Okay to be you: Be Yourself.

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11. Your dreams do not live inside your excuses.

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12. How good are you at resisting the world: Break Free.

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13. Self-Care 101.

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14. Written by the worlds greatest philosopher, Ms Unknown points to the magic of self-belief: Could It Be Magic.

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15. And we finish with a silent meditation.

I am empowered by Brene Browns take on self-confidence. “Being vulnerable doesn’t just require courage and self-confidence. It requires self-compassion. Having self-compassion has profound effects both internally and externally. Even showing compassion to others can’t actually be achieved unless you have compassion for yourself. “When you cannot ask for help without self-judgment, you are never really offering help without judgment,” Brown says. “Because you have attached judgment to asking for help.”

This concept extends beyond helping. Whether it’s related to health, career or relationships, judging something about yourself means that you will always judge that same thing in others. For example, you must be able to accept and receive love before you can truly provide it.

Though 85 per cent of adults say they are capable of giving and receiving love, more than 30 per cent of men and women fear to be alone and tend to lose themselves in relationships. Reading Brene’s research and insights make me ponder where I am at the moment with all of it.

The playlist today contains that song from The Greatest Showman. We begin with Pink Floyd, followed by pop diva Jessie J. Then that song, Next is the Spoken Word from Jim Carrey. A fine rock song from Audioslave follows. The penultimate tune is from Ariana Grande, and we finish with disco diva Donna Summer: You May Never Be Good Enough For Everybody.

I feel that I am in the shadowland of the journey of having Love and Respect For All, Everyone Included be the world paradigm. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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When we have each other, We have Everything!!


Defining family can be a tough thing as the word “family” alone is a powerful word that conjures up multiple different meanings and emotions. How does one put into words all that define how they feel when it comes to what family is?

Oftentimes people will say a family includes a mother, father, and children all living together under one roof. Some might say a family can be anything that involves love.

Webster’s dictionary defines a family as “a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.” This definition is a good starting point when trying to define what family consists of, however, there are modern-day definitions that redefine what family is today. Yet, do these definitions define what family means to you? What comes to mind when you think of what family means?

Whether it is a mother and father together, a single mom or dad with kids, or possibly your friends that help to fill the void that your biological family wasn’t able to fulfil, the word family is a powerful word. These are people that surround you with care, concern, and love. These are the people who see you, who understand what you are going through and through it all, they stand by your side loving you through life.

For me, it includes my three beloved siblings, Hugo, Ruth and Jann and my extended dance community friends. Some say I am extremely lucky that I have been able to get on with my siblings for such an extended period of time as often people have to replace their siblings with others as it just hasn’t happened that way.

How has society spoken about that unit that takes our attention on a daily basis, here are some of my favourite things:

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1. Its all in the roots that keep us connected across time as we go in our different directions.

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2. For me, this has always been my siblings and when they were alive, my parents: We are Family.

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3. Find these ones, they are your family.

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4. But can you have both, I’m lucky that I do: Respect.

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5. Does family include the quality of being loyal – “his extreme loyalty to the Crown”. A strong feeling of support or allegiance.

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6. And from what some of my friends have said to me, they cannot even spend time under the same roof, it makes me feel so lucky: True Colours.
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7. George Bernard Shaw (26 July 1856 – 2 November 1950), known at his insistence simply as Bernard Shaw, was an Irish playwright, critic, polemicist and political activist. His influence on Western theatre, culture and politics extended from the 1880s to his death and beyond.
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8. My siblings and I have made that choice on those days of struggle: Someone Like You.
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9. I think that this may have a lot to do with how family relationships work out, imagine if we did this all our lives?
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10. Find the Others: I Choose You.
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11. They could be called the 12 Commandments of relationship.
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12. And they were very sharp: I Don’t Feel Like Dancing.
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13. But always be willing to ask.
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14. You don’t remember the size of the house, later on, you remember the memories that occurred in them: Make Me Smile.
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15. And we finish with a wide choice you can take your definition of family.
Childhood is supposed to be fun and carefree; but, the truth is, even little kids have stress, anxiety, and other issues affecting their mental well being. That’s why it’s so important to foster healthy habits early on and encourage resilience and self-esteem from day one. I reached out for a few top tips to help you with your Family journey.
Focus on feelings: 
Let children make mistakes:
Let children make decisions:
Nurture them:
Lead by example and take care of your own emotional well-being:
I’m not sure if all of these things happened in my life so I count myself lucky that my family has turned out so well.
Some drippy songs in the playlist this week: We begin with Sister Sledge, then the Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin. My favourite version of this song by Kasey Chambers is next, followed by Adele. Then 3 S’es finish it off: Sarah Bareilles, The Scissor Sisters and Steve Harley: When We Have Each Other, We Have Everything!!
From all that is written about families across the net, we have a little way to go to fulfil my world paradigm of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until next we meet, my dear friends.
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The Things They See Are Not Just Remembered, They are Soulfood!!


On Thursday night I had the choice of attending two events, the first was the 3PBS volunteers party, free drinks and free food for volunteering over the radiothon and the second was the Warriors of Love MasterClass in a Yurt in far distant Warrandyte. I chose the latter, as I had a calling to explore my standing towards my reaction to my burgeoning eldership. See, I do not live the life my newsfeed says I should be interested in. I receive ads for river cruises in Europe with my fellow retirees and purchasing a residence in a retirement village according to their algorithms. Instead, I make chai and crew for conscious dance and attend breakthrough sexuality week-long courses. So that was what I chose for my personal ceremony, to land the vitality of being an elder of the conscious community of Melbourne.

I chose to vibrate the energy through my body from the top to the bottom and then from the bottom to the top, the energy is that of the earthsong I have recently come in contact with after an encounter with an indigenous elder. I also chose to lie on the earth and be as close to it as possible. It was an impressive ceremony and calmed down my stories that have been entering my space recently.

On the drive home I began to think about how society sees the importance of ceremony these days. These are a few of the quotes regarding the matter:

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1. In our ever so busy self-gratification lifestyle, the advice of If you have not got time to pray, the first thing you should do is pray.

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2. Starting with The Teachings of Don Juan in 1968, Castaneda wrote a series of books that describe his training in shamanism, particularly with a group whose lineage descended from the Toltecs. The books, narrated in the first person, relate his experiences under the tutelage of a man that Castaneda claimed was a Yaqui “Man of Knowledge” named Don Juan Matus. His 12 books have sold more than 28 million copies in 17 languages. Critics have suggested that they are works of fiction; supporters claim the books are either true or at least valuable works of philosophy: Work It.

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3. Saying things and actually doing them, two different things, one reason we need a ceremony.

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4. What if we could use each of our mistakes as a life-altering ceremony: Maya on Mistakes.

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5. Eleanor on dreaming, not just a POTUS wife, a great philosopher.

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6. In Warriors of Love, we call these states Identity and Essence: Growing Pains.

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7. Why I wished to do the ceremony on Eldership, biological age is relative.

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8. Even with different parts of yourself: Ceremony.

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9. You deserve to fulfil your dreams.

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10.” the safest general characterization of the European philosophical tradition is that it consists of a series of footnotes to Plato: Careless Whisper.

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11. And they call them their ceremonies.

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12. Ceremonies never cease in your life, they are just a new step to getting better, not to fulfil someone else’s label of being the best:  Proof Me Wrong.

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13. Amen!!

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14. More Maya, Fuck, I love this woman: Love her Life.

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15. Our final lesson about ceremony comes from our ally, Google.

Faith in what my heart tells me is a ceremony these days means a lot to me, they may be ancient kirtan ceremonies. listening to a meditation by a valued mentor, walking in the eternity that is nature, I get to choose what I call a ceremony and am doing it more and more these days. it does not even have to include others.

Today’s playlist contains one of the great friendships. We begin with Missy Elliott, then Oprah and Maya. Then move forward in time to pop diva, Allessia Cara. Radiohead is followed by George Michael. Some background music for tapdance by David pack and we end by revisiting Maya and Oprah.

I think a paramount part of the ceremony is to include Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included, Until we meet again my dear friends.

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Incredible Things Can Be Done Simply!!


Had a busy solstice weekend, crewed on Dancing Freedom Friday night, then Winter Solstice Chanting Meditation on Saturday but have chosen to reflect on the event I attended on Sunday that my friends Robbie, Maz and Paul ran called Own Your Desires. Here is the blurb for it:

Do you ever feel attracted to someone but fear rejection? Is it challenging approaching people you are attracted to? Do you struggle to ask for what you really want? We have all had these experiences….as human beings, we have hopes, needs, dreams and desires. This is a journey in exploring and resolving these situations in a safe, experiential space. This is an opportunity to dive deeper into these thoughts and emotions. A chance to unravel old habits and ways of being. There will be exercises and practices for you to discover and develop communications skills, a reframing of limiting beliefs and empowering you to own your desires.

What will this experiential journey give you?
-Freeing yourself from false expectations and imagination.
-Freedom and power to approach people and own your desires.
-Building courage and learning how to express how you truly feel.
-Developing self-awareness and harnessing your truth.
-Empowering yourself to express your affection for another.
-The opportunity to share your true self with another.

At 64 I was the elder of the group which had quite an age spread, the exercises were short and sharp experiences in asking for what you desired with time building up in each experience. There were also sessions were people could share their experiences. Confidentiality does not allow me to share anyone’s but my own.

I noticed I had judgements on what each person would be willing to do and was often surprised when this did not turn out to be the result of the request. Out, damn judgements.

Given this, how has society related to desires over the centuries, here are a few takes at it:

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Coventry Kersey Dighton Patmore was an 18th Century English poet and critic best known for The Angel in the House, his narrative poem about the Victorian ideal of a happy marriage. I think desires in the 21st Century may be a little different.

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2. One distinction was to align your mind, your heart and your sex, all essential areas of your soul, methinks: Everybody Dance.

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3. Desire versus Love, an eternal conversation!!!

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4. Breath was an important part of the process, Dan Brule is a breathwork master who makes the following statement: Our Breathing is the only system in the body that is both completely automatic and also under our control. That is not an accident of nature, not a coincidence. That is an opportunity, an invitation, to take part in our own nature – our own evolution: Breathin

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5. The long and windy road of placing your dreams and desires in the hands of others.

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6. It looks like a scene from Marry Poppins so, that word: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

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7. How often do we leave our desires out so that our lives appear organized without ripples on the water?

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8. Do you purposefully bring your desires to life on a daily basis, you belong with these people if you do: Love Shack.

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9. As I found out I probably fit in the latter group when it comes to my desires.

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10. Grateful for both the Yes’s and the No’s, need to work on the latter: Kind and Generous.

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11. A bucket is just another word, as are To-do lists, both can prevent you from actually living in the moment.

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12. From the man who gave us the bliss distinction, here is another classic that points to why we may not be fulfilling all our desires: Staying Alive.

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13. It’s in the tax area our desires live.

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14. As Tantra came from India I had to include one image of a wise Indian guru or it would just not seem right: Slave To The Rhythm.

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15. And Oprah points out in our final lesson, that desires should excite you at first as it is that, that will keep you focussed.

I feel sated after the experience and acknowledge that Robbie, Maz and Paul delivered full value with love and compassion, they worked well as a facilitation team, I will be back.

Today’s playlist contains some musical royalty: We begin with funksters Chic, then shoot forward to pop diva, Ariana Grande. Then that word and song from Mary Poppins followed by a jump around track by the B-52’s. The superb voice of Natalie Merchant is next, then pop royalty The Bee Gees.  We finish with the always sultry Grace Jones: Incredible Things Can Be Done Simply!!

My major desire is that the world lives from this paradigm: Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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Leaving With A Lighter Load!!


My friend Emma invited me to her partner David’s choir Gloriana’s performance of Path of Miracles on Sunday: Here’s another Choir doing some of it… The music was as evocative and haunting as my friends who have braved the Camino say the courage it takes to complete it requires. What inspires people to walk 700 kilometres when they have never done anything like that in their lives before? My friend Marc says it was a major event in his life, divorce proceedings, my other friends Kavisha and Andy that it was a journey of faith. So what has the Camino community said about it over the years, here are a few sayings they came up with:

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1. Both of them said it was when they stopped listening to the logical no answers from their mind and what was possible in their hearts that saw them arrive in Spain.

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2. You could possibly get lost walking 700 kilometres in the fields of Spain. But all the people I have spoken to about it, say what they learnt about themselves is what had them complete it: Find Your Way Back.

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3. Norman Vincent Peale (May 31, 1898 – December 24, 1993) was an American minister and author known for his work in popularizing the concept of positive thinking, especially through his best-selling book The Power of Positive Thinking. I don’t know if he ever walked The Camino but this would be a useful tattoo to have done before you commenced your trek, I think.

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4. And it continues well after finishing if the looks on my friends’ faces apres arriving back from Spain were anything to go by: Shiny Happy People.

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5. This is one of my favourite all-time quotes, I can see how it would relate to The Camino as blisters miraculously appeared on your feet.

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6. This is a post by a younger Camino trekker: I am 21, will be 22 when I walk. I think it’s great being around older people, 30 or 70 years old. They have a different view of their country than someone in their teens/the early twenties(when it comes to telling stories it makes them more interesting) They will be able to share more experiences and their stories with you than most 18-year-olds would be. I know what you’re saying, but I wouldn’t be worried about it. You might not have much in common with a 60-year-old or even a 30-year-old but I think that’s part of the journey, to understand one another, appreciate our differences, and to share this one magical experience with people all over the world of all ages of all backgrounds of all classes. :) I think it’s good to feel out of place once in a while.: Roam.

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7. By the worlds greatest quote writer, Ms Unknown, comes this mighty insightful offering.

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8. Deciding to walk the Camino, is that when you give up all your I can’t do it stories: Walk a Mile In My Shoes.

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9. http://www.womenoftheway2011.com is a wonderful website dedicated to a  brilliant doco that was made and information for our sisters who take the journey.

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10. I’m sure you would get a lot of time each day to ponder this as you stroll through the Spanish countryside: Long Way Home.

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11. Grace is from Canada, she has a Pinterest site called Discover Ideas about No Way.

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12. And it is not only written about in one language: El Camino.

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13. Am I off to The Camino, Maybe?

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14. Janette has written a free book of poems about the Camino called: Camino Quotes and Poems – The Meaning of The Journey, it’s downloadable, word magic: Listen To Your Heart.

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15. Google won’t give me the exact answer if Tom Petty actually walked The Camino, but this quote from him appears all over it. A worthy lesson to finish on.

So these are some of the things and reasons that have had people walk and comment on the sacred journey that is known as El Camino de Santiago (The Way of St. James). Music, poetry and quotes, all point towards the transformational experience it seems to be.

Today’s playlist is mainly made up of Rock groups. We begin in the ’80s with Jefferson Starship, REM and the B52’s follow. Back even further to Joe South before returning to our current time with Garth Emery. Our Intercultural offering is The Gypsy Kings and we finish with Roxette: Leaving With A Lighter Load.

From the 21 years old’s offering I sense that El Camino de Santiago fits right in with my world paradigm of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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We Don’t Make Mistakes, Just Happy Little Accidents!!


I go around to my sister Ruth’s, I call her Ruthie place on most Tuesdays for family connection. It comes out of a practice we used to do of taking our dear mum who passed at the end of 2017 op shopping, think thrift shops for the US nearly every Tuesday for seven years. She advised me that she had visited St. Arnaud, one of the towns we sent 4 years during our childhood. This was 50 years ago, and for some inexplicable reason, I remembered it used to be called The New Bendigo goldfields and that the only remaining item of that name was a derelict cemetery 10 km outside town on the Donald road. Mind you, I have not been there for 30 plus years. I am such a research nerd, no fact, however small leaves my grey matter.

We began talking about our memories of the place, our friends’ names, the local pool and then for some reason I moved onto the mistakes I had made. This is not a complete list, but here goes: 1. Setting the lounge room chimney on fire so that the Fire Brigade had to be called to put it out. 2. Setting the paddock behind our house on fire with matches and lying about it, yes the fire brigade had to come again, who’s the closet pyromaniac. 3. Sinking the other rafts in the Scout regatta by putting holes in their drums with a hammer and nail punch, we were quite inventive with this, I don’t know how we weren’t thrown out. My sister asked me why would you do things like that, I have contemplated it and come up with the devil in me was looking for an escape clause.

What do mistakes cost us and how has society looked at it, here we go:

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1. I have never lit a fire again in my life, I say I am terrible at it.

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2. The pyromaniac in me needed a couple of lessons: Firestarter.

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3. I have come to the realisation that mistakes are just our shadow side talking to us, sometimes in funny ways.

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4. This appealed to the People Pleaser in me: U Can’t Touch This.

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5. Mistakes are definitely an essential part of our formative education.

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6. Mistakes, your own personal Power Ranger: Gangsta’s Paradise.

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7. Regarding the fire stuff,  luckily, both of my parents were loving and understanding.

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8. Marilyn’s mistake: messing with the POTUS: Happy Birthday, Mr President.

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9. By the greatest quoter, Ms Unknown, but a beauty.

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10. How many of us are guilty of this: Rehab.

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11. Sofia Villani ScicoloneDame of the Grand Cross, OMRI  born 20 September 1934), known professionally as Sophia Loren is an Italian film actress and singer. She is one of the last surviving stars from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Encouraged to enrol in acting lessons after entering a beauty pageant, Loren began her film career at age 16 in 1950. She appeared in several bit parts and minor roles in the early part of the decade until her five-picture contract with Paramount in 1956 launched her international career. Notable film appearances around this time include The Pride and the PassionHouseboat, and It Started in Naples.

Her talents as an actress were not recognised until her performance as Cesira in Vittorio De Sica’s Two Women; Loren’s performance earned her the Academy Award for Best Actress in 1962 and made her the first actress to win an Oscar for a foreign-language performance. She holds the record for having earned six David di Donatello Awards for Best Actress: Two WomenYesterday, Today and TomorrowMarriage Italian Style (for which she was nominated for a second Oscar); SunflowerThe Voyage; and A Special Day. After starting a family in the early 1970s, Loren chose to make only occasional film appearances. In later years, she has appeared in American films such as Grumpier Old Men (1995) and Nine (2009).

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12. One, Two, Three, begin the forgiveness: Courage.

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13. If you have people around you who do this, time to say goodbye to them.

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14. Do Buddhist monks doing a three-year meditation retreat in a cave make mistakes: Hell Yes: Mirror.

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15. From this list comes the message, your job is to learn.

Did I stop making mistakes after we moved from St. Arnaud nee New Bendigo, FUCK NO!! I am 64 and am sure I still have several hundred to go, but they all will be part of the beautiful journey we call life.

The playlist rocks tonight. The Prodigy smashes you First, Two rap icons in MC Hammer and Coolio follow next, then a throwback with a tune by Marilyn Monroe. Amy Winehouse follows with the penultimate piece being the spoken word by Bruce Lee, in Chinese with subtitles. We finish with more rap from Little Wayne and Bruno Mars. Enjoy, I did creating it: We Don’t Make Mistakes, Just Happy Little Accidents.

So mistakes, all the more reason we need to embrace my world paradigm, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until Next time, my dear friends.

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