What does the title of this blog make you think of? The End of Days, in my case it was that I make judgements that stop me being able to be in the moment and feel what I am actually feeling moment to moment on an ongoing basis. This comes from a long history of having to KNOW what is going on and living in the belief that there is a certain way life should be especially in relationships.
I recently did this when dancing with a woman I would like to get to know a whole lot better. She made a request of me that my judgemental persona did not agree with. My People Pleasing identity did it anyway over the top of I don’t want to do this. It continued running me for three days until I had a discussion with my mentor. He pointed out that was I being in the moment of the request she had made of me or was I not being present and living inside the judgement I had made. My body shuddered as I realised the opportunity I had missed out on.
So how often as a society do we do this and what have we written about it over time? Here are a few of my favourites:
1. How many times are we told this as children by our parents or teachers yet it doesn’t seem to sink in?
2. Will Rogers provided an epigram: When I die, my epitaph, or whatever you call those signs on gravestones, is going to read: “I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn’t like.” I am so proud of that, I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved: It’s My Life.
3. One could link this to many politicians as they lose their right to opinions of their own and must take on their parties beliefs and not truly act for the people who elected them.
4. The three fingers pointing back under another name: Who You Are.
5. He passed several years ago but the words of Wayne Dyer still hit home.
6. Mainstream media is chock full of this: Say Something.
7. Perhaps the most pervasive form of judgement, the silent passive-aggressive treatment.
8. This reminds me of the famous Dalai Lama quote about are you really listening: Elastic Heart.
9. Heartspace 101.
10. Accepting what is and doing what it takes to have love present: Love and Compassion.
11. Another way of saying it, is we judge the shit out of each other.
12. Written 1900 years ago, these words are still totally relevant: The Lonely.
13. Perfectionism, leading a mistake-free life, not following your dreams, more like letting your judgements rule your life.
14. If people have to fit into your box, are you celebrating their uniqueness: Unique.
15. And from the great Albert Camus, the final lesson. That hope we will stop judging others, the Buddhists call it enlightenment, do you have years to sit under a tree? All we can do is the best we can do not to be controlled by them each and every day.
My Essence /LifeForce is Unlimited Intimacy: when I enquire into the light of this, the shadows contained in my identity come out to play to have me learn the lessons I need to learn to cleanse my heartspace. It is an ongoing journey that I am willing to take:
Today’s playlist begins with one of Rock’s heartthrobs, John Bon Jovi. then a song I used on my previous blog, it’s so suitable for this topic too and it’s by Jessie J. Four of the remaining songs are pop diva’s, the first two being Christina Aguilera and then Sia. Our spoken-word piece is by His Holiness The Dalai Lama. We finish with Christina Perri and end with Sino: Judgement Day Is Coming.
Having my world ethos be Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included helps me when I am ravaged by the judgements my identity chooses to throw up at me on a daily basis. It reminds me of my big vision. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.
A great topic to explore, Rod. Thanks for also sharing where it shows up in your life. I remember either Carolyn Myss or Bryon Katie saying that we can’t help but judge others, it’s how we respond to such thoughts that makes the difference in the end. I found this to be good news in that I had tried so hard not to judge others or myself but just couldn’t seem to stop such thoughts entering my head. Now I acknowledge them and know that I don’t have to act upon them.
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