Yes, Life is Tough but You are Tougher!!


Nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, someone they need, or something they thought was meant to be. But it is these losses that make us stronger and eventually move us toward future opportunities for growth and happiness.

I really like Marc Chernoff’s list: 40 lessons for finding strength in hard times, here they are:

  1. You are not what happened to you in the past.
  2. Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
  3. Struggling with problems is a natural way of growing.
  4. It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.
  5. Life is fragile, sudden,  and shorter than it often seems.
  6. You will fail sometimes.
  7. You have the capacity to create your own happiness.
  8. Emotionally separate yourself from your problems.
  9. Don’t make a problem bigger than it is.
  10. Everything that happened is a life lesson.
  11. View every challenge as an educational assignment.
  12. Things change, but the sun always rises the next day.
  13. Giving up and moving on are two very different things.
  14. Distance yourself from negative people.
  15. Perfect relationships don’t exist.
  16. You must love yourself too.
  17. Don’t let others make decisions for you.
  18. Resentment hurts you, not them.
  19. You’re not alone. Everyone has problems.
  20. You still have a lot to be thankful for.
  21. Consciously nurture your inner hope.
  22. It’s better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie.
  23. It’s hard to tell how close you are to success.
  24. Not getting what you want can be a blessing.
  25. Laughter is the best medicine to stress.
  26. Mistakes are important to make.
  27. Worrying is literally a waste of energy.
  28. Even when it’s hard to move, take small steps forward.
  29. There will always be people who dislike you.
  30. You are better off without some people you thought you needed.
  31. You can’t control everything that happens to you.
  32. You are only competing against yourself.
  33. Life is not Easy.
  34. Your future is spotless.
  35. You are not trapped; you just need to re-learn a few things.
  36. Everything in life is two-sided.
  37. You always have a choice.
  38. Let others in when you’re in a dark place.
  39. If you ask negative questions, you will get negative answers.
  40. The end is a new beginning.

How does the world recommend you move forward in hard times, let’s take that journey:

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1. The answers are not out there, you are looking in the wrong place if you are seeking the solution from others.

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2. Love truthfully and unconditionally, a worthwhile life to lead: Soul Kinda Feeling.

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3. I survived after five years of mental health crises, that was my true inner strength speaking.

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4. And then there are times you use your inner strength in service of others: Praise You.

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5. From the founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund points us towards where our strengths come from.

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6. You are the creation of your experiences: You Get What You Give.

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7. And then there is meditation.

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8. And then your Inner Pilot Light is always on your side: Don’t Stop Believing.

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9. My friend Em took me in my troubled waters recently, my trust in myself was totally cleansed.

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10, And from a singer of both types of music, Sara Evans points out from little things, big things can grow: A Little Bit Stronger.

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11. Nothing, Nada, Nil.

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12. My 2019 set out for me: Small Stuff.

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13. All champions know it is not the destination but the inner journey that is the more important to achieving the final result.

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14. How much dust have you shaken off recently: Shake It Off.

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15. And some advice from Yoda: May the Force be With You. Some days are harder than others to locate it.

So, say to yourself: “Dear Past, thank you for all the life lessons you have taught me. Dear Future, I am ready now!” Because a great beginning always occurs at the point you thought would be the end of everything.

Not many divas on the playlist today, mainly rock and both types of music, country and western. We rock it through the first four artists with Dynamic Hepnotics, Fatboy Slim, The New Radicals and Journey. Then Sara Evans and Alabama provide both types and we complete with Taylor Swift: Yes, Life is Tough, But You are Tougher.

So today, show Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included to your beloveds until we meet again, my dear friends.

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All Good is Hard, All Evil is Easy.


Today is a follow up on habits via Marc and Angel Chernoff’s excellent book: 1000+ Little Thing Happy Successful People Do Differently: Marc and Angel Hack Life. Using my write about the page you open up to formulae, we come to 30 Challenges for 30 Days of Growth.

The chapter begins with the following statement: Scientists have suggested that, with a little willpower, it takes roughly 30 days for a person to form a new habit. As with mastering anything new, the act of starting and getting beyond the preliminary stage where everything feels awkward is 80% of the battle. This is precisely why it’s important to make small positive changes every day over the course of at least a 30-day challenge. 

Marc then offers you 30 suggestions, here they are:

  1. Use words that encourage happiness
  2. Try one new thing every day.
  3. Perform one selfless act every day.
  4. Learn and practice one new skill every day.
  5. Teach someone something new every day.
  6. Dedicate an hour a day to something you are passionate about.
  7. Treat everyone nicely, even those who are rude to you.
  8. Concentrate on being positive at all times.
  9. Address and acknowledge the lesson in inconvenient situations.
  10. Pay attention and enjoy your life as it happens.
  11. Get rid of one thing a day for 30 days.
  12. Create something brand new in less than 30 days.
  13. Don’t tell a single lie for 30 days.
  14. Wake up 30 minutes early every morning.
  15. Ditch 3 bad habits for 30 days.
  16. Watch less than 30 minutes of TV every day.
  17. Define one long-term goal and work on it for an hour every day.
  18. Read one chapter of a good book every day.
  19. Every morning, watch or read something that inspires you.
  20. Do something every day after lunch that makes you laugh.
  21. Go alcohol and drug-free for 30 days.
  22. Exercise for 30 minutes every day for 30 days.
  23. Get uncomfortable and face a fear every day.
  24. Cook one brand new healthy recipe every day.
  25. Spend 10 minutes every evening reflecting on what went well.
  26. Have a conversation every day with someone you rarely do.
  27. Pay down debt and don’t create any new debt for 30 days.
  28. Let go of one relationship that constantly hurts you.
  29. Publicly forgive someone who deserves another chance.
  30. Document every day with one photograph and one paragraph.

We often use the excuse that I don’t know where to begin, what does society say about that: let’s have a look:

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1. Recently I walked across 8 Km of beach rocks, I have no sense of balance, I definitely grew from this situation.

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2. The challenges begin within, after all, you made them a challenge: This Time.

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3. The picture says it all.

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4. Ralph puts it in your face why we challenge ourselves: Growth.

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5. To spell words correctly.

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6. In your challenges lie all your meaningful accomplishments: One Life.

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7. One small step forward a day is all it takes.

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8. Your Gut Feelings, that is what you want to know, stop ignoring them: Gut Feeling.

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9. I think Ralph should be talking to his lawyers about the origin of Gail’s quote.

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10. It’s really saying shake off the limits, isn’t it.: No Limit.

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11. Stop playing small!!

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12. Marlen Esparza is an American boxer. In May 2012, she qualified to compete at the 2012 Olympics, becoming the first American woman to qualify for the Olympics in the first year that women’s boxing was an Olympic event. She won the bronze medal in the women’s flyweight division at the 2012 Olympics in London: You Can Do It.

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13. Me, Myself, I: Challenge them all.

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14. Set your controls for the heart of the Sun: Chandelier.

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15. And some worldly advice from big Tone to finish.

You can’t do all these challenges at once, but they will make for an inspired 2019. As you progress through these challenges remember personal growth is a slow, steady process. It can’t be rushed. You need to work on it gradually every day. There is ample time for you to be who you want to be in life. Don’t settle for less than what you think you deserve or less than you know you can be. Despite the struggles, you will face along the way, never give up on yourself. You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and twice as capable as you have ever imagined.

Today’s playlist lies in the Hip Hop stadium with three offerings. We begin with Pia Toscano, then enter the stadium with Offset. Rock offerings from Boyce Avenue and Devo follow. Usher and Ice Cube make their entry and we complete with Australia’s own Sia: All Good is Hard, All Evil is Easy.

Remember to show Love and Respect to All, Everyone Included until we meet again, my dear friends:

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We are What we Repeatedly Do!!


Have you heard of James Clear, he wrote the insightful book on getting done what you want to called – Atomic Habits An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones: Get it Here, Free Shipping Worldwide.

People think when you want to change your life, you need to think big. But world-renowned habits expert James Clear has discovered another way. He knows that real change comes from the compound effect of hundreds of small decisions – doing two push-ups a day, waking up five minutes early, or holding a single short phone call.

He calls them atomic habits.

In this ground-breaking book, Clears reveals exactly how these minuscule changes can grow into such life-altering outcomes. He uncovers a handful of simple life hacks (the forgotten art of Habit Stacking, the unexpected power of the Two Minute Rule, or the trick to entering the Goldilocks Zone), and delves into cutting-edge psychology and neuroscience to explain why they matter. Along the way, he tells inspiring stories of Olympic gold medalists, leading CEOs, and distinguished scientists who have used the science of tiny habits to stay productive, motivated, and happy.

These small changes will have a revolutionary effect on your career, your relationships, and your life.

He sums it up with the following statement:

“If you find yourself struggling to build a good habit or break a bad one, it is not because you have lost your ability to improve. It is often because you have not yet crossed the Plateau of Latent Potential. Complaining about not achieving success despite working hard is like complaining about an ice cube not melting when you heated it from twenty-five to thirty-one degrees. Your work was not wasted; it is just being stored. All the action happens at thirty-two degrees. When you finally break through the Plateau of Latent Potential, people will call it an overnight success. … Mastery requires patience. The San Antonio Spurs, one of the most successful teams in NBA history, has a quote from social reformer Jacob Riis hanging in their locker room: ‘When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow, it will split in two, and I know it was not that last blow that did it—but all that had gone before.’”

So how are you with creating good habits, then again how is the planet, let’s have a look.

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1. Blessed may your day be if you take this on.

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2. What a simple action per day can do for your future: The Seven Habits.

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3. It’s not the peak experiences that make the ultimate difference, It’s what you do after them when it comes to light.

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4. The first ingredient in a brand new future: Have It All.

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5. Napoleon Hill is the grandfather of the self-development movement, He is known best for his book Think and Grow Rich (1937) which is among the 10 best selling self-help books of all time.

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6. Have we been listening, Aristotle who made this statement was born in 384 BC: This is How We Do.

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7. What’s your favourite addiction, is it good or bad for you?

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8. You wake up one day and feel really motivated. But that will not produce the result, taking up the habit of what you were motivated about is where the answer lies: Burn Bright.

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9. Sixty a day of these for ten years then I became a marathon runner.

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10. Self Love will help you walk this path: Love Myself.

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11. They are also known as breakthroughs.

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12. Make your destiny a grand one, in whichever way that shows up for you: High Hopes.

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13. Step one, write a bad poem, paint a crap portrait, just begin a new habit today.

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14. Maya is one of my top ten on the internet: Yum: And Still I Rise.

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15. Oops, seems they left out a bit in Aristotle’s quote at number Six, makes more sense now.

How to Create a Good Habit and then How to Break a Bad Habit The 1st law (Cue) Make it obvious. Make it invisible. The 2nd law (Craving) Make it attractive. Make it unattractive. The 3rd law (Response) Make it easy. Make it difficult. The 4th law (Reward) Make it satisfying. Make it unsatisfying. This seems like it would be simple enough to do , but with the busyness, we fill our life up with these days, maybe not so, time to unclutter and allow space for some new good habits.

The playlist today is full of pop diva songs of possibility: We begin with Jannah Bolin, then Jason Mraz. Three great pop divas follow: Kate Perry, Natalie Grant and Hailee Steinfeld. Then a bit of Electronica from Panic at the Disco finishing with some sage wisdom from Maya Angelou. Enjoy: We are What We Repeatedly Do.

Remember to spread Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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Don’t Let Anyone Else Hold The Pen!!


Back to Marc and Angel Chernoff for today’s blog, I stubbed my toe on their book 1000+ Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently: Hit them Up… As is my practice when writing about a possibility I open the book to any page and voila, that is the subject for today. On page 139 is the heading “10 Ways to WRITE a Life Story Worth Living” appeared.

The chapter begins with the following words from Marc:

‘When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen. Make conscious choices every day that align your actions with your values and your dreams. because the way you live each day is a sentence in the story of your life. Each day you make a choice as to whether the sentence ends in a period, a question mark, or an exclamation point.”

He then offers 10 ideas for writing a life story worth living:

  1. Find a Passion that makes you come alive.
  2. Work hard on that Passion.
  3. Live happily in your own way.
  4. Change your path when you must, but keep moving forward.
  5. When the going gets rough, keep fighting.
  6. Let go of the past and live consciously in the future.
  7. Embrace new ideas, lessons, and challenges.
  8. Appreciate the little things in life that mean a lot.
  9. Live honourably through kindness.
  10. Spend quality time with people you love.

What a beautiful, inspiring list, I’m willing to take it on. Now lets have a look at what the world has said about writing your own story, let’s take that journey:

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1. This beautiful image could be included on your vision board.

 

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2. Not all testimony is in the negative: when you have the feeling your words can make a difference, speak them: Song for Someone.

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3. Yes, You, the unique human being you are. Go on, you can do it.

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4. Mine says I am an Interculturalist: Love and Respect for All, Everyone included. Over to You: Live your Story.

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5. As Helen says, It will not always be easy. As Marc’s point 5 says, keep fighting during these time. Each little step makes a difference.

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6. To my new friend Josie, you are editing at the moment, your writing is magnificent: Write your Story.

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7. Excitement to me is covered in the expression Lolly Gobble Bliss Bombs.

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8. Ready, Set Write!!!: So Much Magnificence.

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9. Even the stars don’t necessarily have great stories. Greta was one of Hollywood’s shining lights in her time.

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10. And how could we leave out Deepak when writing about our lives: Change Your Life.

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11. Or Brene!!!

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12. 我是, Wer bin Ich, qui suis-je, ko wai Ahau, kas aš esu, هستم: Who I am.

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13. We all have friends we can do this with: don’t be stingy.

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14. To each of our glorious adventures: Yay!!!: This Is Me.

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15. And finally, some blank pages for you.

I will finish with some more words from Marc and Angel:

‘If you live honourably, no matter how old you get, you’ll never lose your beauty; it will gradually shift from your face to your heart. And remember, there is no better exercise for the heart than reaching out and holding the hand of someone in need.’

Today’s playlist even contains both types of music, County and Western. We begin with U2. Then to the European continent for Auli’i Cravalho and Francesca Battistelli. I just had to put in Miten and Deva Premal’s song about magnificence. Who would have thought I would ever include a Little Mix song, but here one is. Jessica Andrews is next and we complete with the cast of the Greatest Showman: Remember, Don’t Let Anyone Else Hold The Pen.

So remember to show Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included until next time we meet, my dear friends:

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There is no Elevator to Success!!!


I was having a deep and meaningful conversation with a friend into what prevents us from meeting our goals which made me think of Angela Lee Duckworth’s great book Grit: Why Passion and Resilience are the Secrets to Success: Get It Here. 

Here are some great lines from the book: 

“What I mean by a passion is not just that you have something you care about. What I mean is that you care about the same ultimate goal in an abiding, loyal, steady way. You are not capricious. Each day, you wake up thinking of the questions you fell asleep thinking about. You are, in a sense, pointing in the same direction, ever eager to take even the smallest step forward than to take a step to the side, toward some other destination. At the extreme, one might call your focus obsessive. Most of your actions derive their significance from their allegiance to your ultimate concern, your life philosophy. You have your priorities in order.”

“Why were the highly accomplished so dogged in their pursuits? For most, there was no realistic expectation of ever catching up to their ambitions. In their own eyes, they were never good enough. They were the opposite of complacent. And yet, in a very real sense, they were satisfied with being unsatisfied. Each was chasing something of unparalleled interest and importance, and it was the chase— as much as the capture—that was gratifying. Even if some of the things they had to do were boring, or frustrating, or even painful, they wouldn’t dream of giving up. Their passion was enduring.

In sum, no matter the domain, the highly successful had a kind of ferocious determination that played out in two ways. First, these exemplars were unusually resilient and hardworking. Second, they knew in a very, very deep way what it was they wanted. They not only had determination, but they also had direction.

It was this combination of passion and perseverance that made high achievers special. In a word, they had grit.”

How does the world navigate this thing called Grit: Lets take that journey:

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1. John Ortberg is an evangelical Christian author, speaker, and senior pastor of Menlo Church in Menlo Park, California. One of his publications, The Life You’ve Always Wanted, has sold more than 500,000 copies.

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2. Grit is a lifetime hobby: Work It.

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3. John says give peace a chance, Wayne not Lennon.

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4. You can have it all – that’s what we think as kids, unfortunately, this is taken away from us in our school years: You can Have It All.

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5. I am ……………

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6. Come across to the other side, its fun over here: On the Dark Side.

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7. Passion and Perseverance – Fuck Yeah!!!

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8. Minna Thomas Antrim was an American writer. She is famous for the quote “Experience is a great teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.” She was also well known for her collection of toasts: Say Something.

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9. Way back to the 18th Century and Ralph Waldo Emerson for part of the recipe of Grit.

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10. Thrusting, now that takes Grit: Call on Me.

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11. I agree with Brene, possibly the bravest thing we will ever do.

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12. Never give Up in search of your dreams: Tough Lover.

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13. Ovid, way back in the times of the Roman Emperor was known as a poet of Love.

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14. Jon Gordon, known for his earth-shattering book, The Energy Bus, which is said about: “If you want to fuel your family, your career, your team, and your organization with spirit read this book. Jon’s energy and advice will leap off the page and help you cultivate positive energy in everything you do—and you will make the world a better place for your having been here: We Shall Overcome.

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15. How often are you unyielding, what does it take?

“In fact, when people drop out of things, they do so for a reason. Actually, they do so for different reasons. Any of the following four thoughts might go through your head right before you quit what you’re doing:

‘I’m bored.’
‘The effort isn’t worth it.’
‘This isn’t important to me.’
‘I can’t do this, so I might as well give up.’

There’s nothing wrong—morally or otherwise—with thoughts like these. As I tried to show in this chapter, paragons of grit quit goals, too. But the higher the level of the goal in question, the more stubborn they are about seeing it through. Most important, paragons of grit don’t swap compasses: when it comes to the one, the singularly important aim that guides almost everything else they do, the very gritty tend not to utter the statements above. …

 

Together, the research reveals the psychological assets that mature paragons of grit have in common. There are four. They counter each of the buzz-killers listed above, and they tend to develop, over the years, in a particular order.” They are Interest + Practice + Purpose + Hope.

The playlist today contains quite a few Pop divas: We begin with Rihanna and Drake, Then some rock and roll from Yo Lo Tengo and Eddie and the Cruisers. Two Christina Aguilera tracks are intersected by Eric Prydz and we complete with some wise words from Martin Luther King: There is No Elevator to Success. 

Remember to provide Love and Respect for All, Everbody Included until we next meet, my dear friends.

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To the World, You might be Just One Person!!


I received a reply to the message from the woman I say I am in love with, I feel incredibly happy with this, she has been overseas the past six months. At the moment I am reading a book called Love 2.0 by Barbara Fredrickson which redefines our ability to feel the ultimate emotion: Get It Here.

We all know love matters, but in this groundbreaking book positive emotions expert Barbara Fredrickson shows us how much. Even more than happiness and optimism, love holds the key to improving our mental and physical health as well as lengthening our lives. Using research from her own lab, Fredrickson redefines love not as a stable behemoth, but as micro-moments of connection between people–even strangers. She demonstrates that our capacity for experiencing love can be measured and strengthened in ways that improve our health and longevity.

Ready for our new, upgraded definition of love? Love 1.0 = The emotion you feel for your “soul mate” or kids or family; what we hear about on the radio, etc. Love 2.0? Love 2.0 is ubiquitous. It’s that “micro-moment of warmth and connection that you share with another living being.” It’s what Barbara describes as “positivity resonance.”  Love is found in those TINY moments—the micro-moments—in which we are truly present, sharing a positive experience with someone. When that happens, our brains and bodies synchronize in truly stunning ways. Sprinkle in some mutual care for the others’ well being and you have positivity resonance—aka Love. What’s exciting about this upgraded version of love is that it’s not limited to our most intimate relationships (yet, very importantly, can be practised most frequently within them—something I’ve done a bunch of times since picking up the book yesterday). When we allow ourselves to open up to this possibility, we can create more of this positivity resonance with others and experience the extraordinary gains in health and happiness that go with practising this supreme emotion.

So how do we as humans define love, here are a few of my favourite takes at it:

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1. Imagine if we were in contact with those micro-moments of love 24/7. It would transform my life for certain.

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2. Imagine if you glimpsed it every day, it would be blissful: A Slice of Heaven. 

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3. And this is what drops away.

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4. And your micro-moment mission is to…: When You Believe.

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5. Not really a choice is it?

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6. And you, and you, and you, and you…: Better Together.

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7. One never knows what those micro-moments of connection can turn into.

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8. Positivity resonance at some times, our greatest fears at others, it is our time to choose: How Deep Is Your Love.

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9. Not really an example of Love 2.0, but I had to fit the bard in somewhere.

 

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10. Definitely possible in both areas of love, one and two: Soul Shakedown Party.

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11. All of the emotions come with Love.

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12. Love is a two-way street: Give Love.

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13. But we always have a favourite.

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14. And then, time for some Rumi: I Love You for What You Are.

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15. And from the Love Prince, Bob Marley comes how to achieve Love 2.0.

Barbara introduces us to the fact that micro-moments of love are created by and result in changes in three main biological characters: your brain, oxytocin, and your vagus nerve. As she says: “Put simply, your body was designed for love, and to benefit from loving.”

Very briefly, when we have positivity resonance, our brains synchronize in astonishing ways. This “neural synchrony” or “neural coupling” is produced as we attune to the individual(s) with whom we’re interacting. Oxytocin, the “love hormone” is, apparently, more appropriately identified as a neuropeptide because it shows up not just in our bodies but also in our brains. Barbara talks about some fascinating research on how increasing levels of oxytocin increase trust and cooperation. Then we get to Vagus. Our vagus nerve is our tenth cranial nerve. “It emerges from your brain stem deep within your skull and, although it makes multiple stops at your various internal organs, perhaps most significantly it connects your brain to your heart.” Hmmm… A physical, biological component of our bodies that connects our brain to our hearts? I’m listening! The short story here: As per all the benefits articulated above, Optimizing our vagus nerve’s functioning is a good idea. Good news is: our “vagal tone” can be developed much like our “muscle tone.” It just takes practice. We’re almost ready for those practices. First, desire.

Today’s playlist begins across the trough from my homeland, for all you others, that’s slang for New Zealand with Dave Dobbyn, then Whitney. A few rocky numbers follow with Jack Johnson, Calvin Harris and Bob Marley. The penultimate number is some soul from Andy Grammer featuring Lunchmoney Lewis, finishing with a Bollywood masterclass.

Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included until we next meet, my dear friends:

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Choose to Shine!!


I have returned to Marc and Angel Chernoff’s first book 1,000 Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently, which was the book I discovered this remarkable couple through – Get on Board. Using my write about the page you open to, I am writing about 12 Choices Winners Make Every Day. How do you relate to the term winning: Here is what Marc says about it:

‘Follow in the steps of a winner. Don’t wake up at seventy-five-years of age, sighing over what you should have tried. Just do it, and be willing to fail and learn along the way. At least you will know you gave it your best shot.

At the end of the day, whether you chose to go with it, flow with it, resist it, change it, or hide from it, life goes on. If what you did today didn’t turn out as you hoped, tomorrow is a new opportunity to do it differently or to do nothing at all. What’s important to realise is that you have a choice.”

Here are the 12 choices they suggest:

  1. They don’t give up on the things they believe in.
  2. They work with and spend time with, the right people.
  3. They concentrate on the present.
  4. They maintain a positive attitude.
  5. They endure the pain.
  6. They ignore the naysayers.
  7. They live through Love.
  8. They accept 100% responsibility for their current situation.
  9. They take action and plant the right seeds.
  10. They don’t lose themselves in the commotion.
  11. They appreciate what they have.
  12. They make a positive difference.

A pretty great list – let us look at winning:

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1. A definite win in your life when this happens.

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2. You don’t have to win every battle, choose wisely which ones you fight: Battle Hymn of The Republic.

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3. This would be winning, in my eyes.

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4. You can choose Yes or No, It’s up to you: No Excuses.

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5. Another way to spell winning.

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6. Renee Oldstead is an American actress and jazz singer. She is a vegan. She appeared in a PETA ad, Fish Are Friends Not Food, urging her fans to become vegan themselves. In 2012, Olstead joined PETA’s campaign to free the elephant Mali from captivity at the Manila Zoological and Botanical Garden, where she has been alone for the last three decades: Count on Me.

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7. Win or Lose, it’s your choice.

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8. All of your friends like this, they are your winners: Crazy Little Thing Called Love.

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9. Shadow and Light, we move between them constantly.

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10. Where is your winning post?: A Thousand Miles.

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11. An unusual take on winning by a very famous man.

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12. And you will have won: Time of My Life.

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13. What are your winning values?

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14. Internal not external: You can get it If You Really Want It.

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15. Show me new ways, and then I can win at what I previously lost at.

Zig Ziglar has a great saying about winning: “You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.”

Today’s playlist begins with the United States Army Field Band, then pop diva Meghan Trainor. Bruno Mars then funks it up, followed by a Queen rock anthem. Then two females – Vanessa Carlton and Madonna, finishing with Jimmy Cliff.

Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included until next time, my dear friends.

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The Good News Is You are the Pilot!!


In their inspiring book Getting Back to Happy: Change your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs: Get It Here., Marc and Angel Chernoff explode myths. The one I am writing on today is that you have to wait for the “right time” to make a change in your life. The truth is it is never too late or too early to be who you are capable of being. There’s no time limit on when you can start living the life you’ve dreamed of. There is no mythical door that shuts after you turn a certain age, blocking you off from experiencing the things you want to do.

Happily, life has a way if throwing red flags when it’s time for us to make a change – we have to be watchful for them. With that in mind, take a look at this list and ask yourself: are any of these the reasons I’m unhappy with my life as it is now?

  1. Fear is Holding me Back.
  2. I catch myself feeding the negative.
  3. My mind is everywhere except right here, right now.
  4. I feel pressured to be someone other than myself.
  5. I feel like I’m competing against everybody else.
  6. A relationship is making me miserable.
  7. I feel bored.
  8. I’ve been resisting change.
  9. Other people are writing my story for me.

If any of these resonate with you, you certainly aren’t alone. Many people are afraid to step forward and change their situation simply because they don’t know how or because they’re afraid to fail. Remember, it’s always better to take an imperfect step forward than to take no step at all.

So, it is time to have a look at what society says about this situation:

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1. Without doing this you live yesterday after yesterday. I think its called Groundhog Day.

 

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2. After several failed attempts, Danny Sullivan won the Indy 500 and totalled $2 million dollars winning from 12 starts: The Time of My Life.

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3. Inspiring Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron, points out that the possibility is now.

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4. You will know when: Right Place, Right Time.

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5. But giving up your fear of failure will give it a more than even chance of it being the right time.

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6. I vote for making it: Hustle.

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7. Watch what they do, not what they say. Actions speak louder than words.

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8. Don’t give up, we all have mistakes along our journey: Don’t Give Up.

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9. They wrote some great song lyrics.

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10. As the navigator, you have to be right here, right now: The Navigator.

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11. Take that imperfect step into the above.

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12. When to do it by a man who changed the direction of the United States: His Greatest Speech.

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13. Begin it Now.

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14. Find the Others: Friends.

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15. We have the same 24 hours as Martin Luther King had, go for your dreams.

Rarely is life going to work out perfectly, and rarely will the stars align. If you’re waiting around to gather all the resources you think you need to take the next step forward, before you know it, you will have wasted all the time you have. Changing your situation is about being mindful of what you want to change- and then finding the one thing you can do first to improve it. That one action might not change everything, but it will put you on the path to something better.

The Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes classic starts the playlist today. Then the million-selling Olly Murs who I had never heard of. Jamelia funks it up next, then a superb live version of Peter Gabriels biggest hit. A  grungy offering from The Pogues, then some wise words from MLK, finishing with Ed Sheeran: The Good News is That you are the Pilot.

Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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Self Awareness and Self Love Matter!!


Up to Section 5 of Dare to Lead, Brene Brown’s exciting new book: Get It Here.

The section is titled Curiosity and Grounded Confidence and begins: “Grounded confidence is the messy process of learning and unlearning, practising and failing, and surviving a few misses. This brand of confidence is not blustery arrogance or posturing or built on bullshit; it’s real, solid, and built on self-awareness and practice. Once we witness how courage can transform the way we lead, we can trade the heavy, suffocating armour that keeps us small for grounded confidence that lifts us up and supports our efforts to be brave.” It’s unreasonable to believe that we can just rip off our self-protection mechanisms and streak through the office. Most of us armour up early in our lives because, as children, we needed to.

Brene then goes on about the paradoxes that elicit vulnerability in leaders and provides this excellent list:

  1. Optimism and Paranoia
  2. Letting chaos reign ( the act of building ) and reining in chaos ( the act of scaling )
  3. Big heart and tough decision making
  4. Humility and fierce resolve
  5. Velocity and quality when building new things
  6. Left brain and Right Brain
  7. Simplicity and Choice
  8. Thinking Global, acting Local
  9. Ambition and attention to detail
  10. Thinking big but starting small
  11. Short-term and long-term
  12. Marathons and sprints, or marathons of sprints in business-building

In a conversation with Dheeraj Pandey, CEO of a Silicon Valley IT company, Dheeraj says the following, “Leaders must learn the skills to hold these tensions and get adept at balancing on the ‘tightrope’ of life. Ultimately, leadership is the ability in the ambiguity of paradoxes and opposites.”

So, what does the world say about paradoxes and opposites, here are a few of my favourite things:

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1. How well do I embrace and opposites, better some days than others, a lifetime practice, methinks?

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2. Reads like lines from a really great song: Radiate.

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3. The gravity man, Sir Isaac Newton, watch out for the apples.

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4. The Light and the Dark, both are needed to transform: I Gotta Feeling.

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5. Anything goes, it is all required in our journey of life.

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6. That’s very Woo Woo, Albert: God Save The Queen.

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7. Fact check, did our favourite POTUS really say this?

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8. What do you say to your soul, I’m practising with I love You for five minutes in the mirror every day: A Whole New World.

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9. Something Judgement 101 does not allow.

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10. The classic reason why opposites attract, they are incomplete without their opposite, how many modalities teach us we need all the types of archetypes, personalities, etc. etc. etc: New Speedway Boogie.

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11. I post Ram Dass daily in Booker Looker land, he is one of my top ten faves on the net.

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12. More light and dark stuff, you can’t deny either for your life to work: Duality.

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13. They are sent to you to learn from them, what you resist persists, an old Landmark statement from the 1990’s that still rings true to this day.

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14. Best known for his book, The Myth of Equality, Wystma, a minister of the gospel helps us come to a deeper understanding of both the origins of these issues and the reconciling role people are called to play as a follower of the gospel. Inequality and privilege are real. The Myth of Equality opens our eyes to realities we may have never realized were present in our society and world. And we will be changed for the better as a result: Glory.

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15. The paradox of being attracted by an opposite, what are yours, mine is booze versus sobriety.

Brene sums it up as follows ” Learning how to rumble with vulnerability is work. And vulnerability never becomes comfortable, but practising means that when a vulnerability is washing over us, we can hear grounded confidence whisper in our ear, ” This is hard and awkward, and uncomfortable. You may not know how it’s turning out, but you are strong and you have practised what it takes to create and hold the space for it.” 

If you haven’t work it out from these two blogs, buy the book. It’s worth it for the free workbook and the glossary alone, not to mention the values list and the posters you get thrown in.

If you loved punk, there is a song for you on today’s playlist. We begin with a newbie for me, Hannah Kerr, then the iconic Black Eyed Peas, then the legend that is Johny Rotten leading the Sex Pistols. Another Disney classic from Alladin. An Aussie legend Courtney Barnett, then rocking out with Slipknot, then a beautifully smooth finish from John Legend: Self Awareness and Self Love Matter.

Spread Love and Respect to All, Everybody Included until next, we meet my dear friends:

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What if Life is no Gamble?


Scott Adams is the creator of the hugely popular Dilbert cartoon. At the beginning of his career, he found it virtually impossible to find a mentor setting him off on a lifetime journey of researching what it takes to succeed culminating in the writing of his highly popular book, How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big Kind of the Story of My Life : Get It Here. Adams discovered some unlikely truths that helped to propel him forward. For instance: – Goals are for losers. Systems are for winners.
– “Passion” is bull. What you need is personal energy.
– A combination of mediocre skills can make you surprisingly valuable.
– You can manage your odds in a way that makes you look lucky to others. In the book Adams wrote the following:

“You could word-glue goals and systems together if you chose. All I’m suggesting is that thinking of goals and systems as different concepts has power. Goal-oriented people exist in a state of continuous pre-success failure at best, and permanent failure at worst if things never work out. Systems people succeed every time they apply their systems, in the sense that they did what they intended to do. The goals people are fighting the feeling of discouragement at every turn. The systems people are feeling good every time they apply their systems. That’s a big difference in terms of maintaining your personal energy in the right direction.

The systems-versus-goals model can be applied to most human endeavours. In the world of dieting, losing twenty pounds is a goal, but eating right is a system. In the exercise realm, running a marathon in under four hours is a goal, but exercising daily is a system. In business, making a million dollars is a goal, but being a serial entrepreneur is a system. For our purposes, let’s say a goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don’t sometime in the future. A system is something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run. If you do something every day, it’s a system. If you’re waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it’s a goal.”

So how do you live your life, via setting possible goals or following systems, here’s what society says about winning big:

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1. Back in the day, my goal was to run the Moscow Peace Marathon in ten months. My system was to get up at 5 a.m. every day and run as far as I could, something I had not done for 15 years.

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2. You win the door prize if you can name which witch Alyssa Milano played in my all-time favourite TV series, Charmed: A Thousand Years.

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3. One of a few comments on success by world leaders in this blog.

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4. You are a struggling entrepreneur and sometimes it feels like you are pushing a 3-ton boulder up a steep hill. Costs keep mounting and you are considering giving up. Well before you do, check out these 10 setbacks that Walt Disney had, some were financial nightmares that put him millions of dollars in the red:

A. Walt formed his first animation company in Kansas City in 1921. He made a deal with a distribution company in New York, in which he would ship them his cartoons and get paid six months down the road. He was forced to dissolve his company and at one point could not pay his rent and was surviving by eating dog food.

B. Walt created a mildly successful cartoon character in 1926 called Oswald the Rabbit. When he tried to negotiate with his distributor, Universal Studios, for better rates for each cartoon, he was informed that Universal had obtained ownership of the Oswald character and they had hired Disney’s artists out from under him.

C. When Walt tried to get MGM studios to distribute Mickey Mouse in 1927 he was told that the idea would never work– a giant mouse on the screen would terrify women.

D. The Three Little Pigs was rejected by distributors in 1933 because it only had four characters, it was felt at that time that cartoons should have as many figures on the screen as possible. It later became very successful and played at one theatre so long that the poster outside featured the pigs with long white beards. 

E. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was sneak previewed to college students in 1937 who left halfway during the film causing Disney great despair. It turned out the students had to leave early because of dorm curfew.

F. Pinocchio in 1940 became extra expensive because Walt shut down the production to make the puppet more sympathetic than the lying juvenile delinquent as presented in the original Carlo Collodi story. He also resurrected a minor character, an unnamed cricket who tried to tell Pinocchio the difference between right and wrong until the puppet killed him with the mallet. Excited by the development of Jiminy Cricket plus the revamped, misguided rather than rotten Pinocchio, Walt poured extra money into the film’s special effects and it ended up losing a million dollars in its first release.

G. For the premiere of Pinocchio Walt hired 11 midgets, dressed them up like the little puppet and put them on top of Radio City Music Hall in New York with a full day’s supply of food and wine. The idea was they would wave hello to the little children entering into the theatre. By the middle of the hot afternoon, there were 11 drunken naked midgets running around the top of the marquee, screaming obscenities at the crowd below. The most embarrassed people were the police who had to climb up ladders and take the little fellows off in pillowcases.

H.  Walt never lived to see Fantasia become a success. 1940 audiences were put off by its lack of a story. Also, the final scene, The Night On Bald Mountain sequence with the devil damning the souls of the dead, was considered unfit for children.

I. In 1942, Walt was in attendance for the premiere of Bambi. In the dramatic scene where Bambi’s mother died, Bambi was shown wandering through the meadow shouting,” Mother! Where are you, Mother?” A teenage girl seated in the balcony shouted out, ” Here I am Bambi!” The audience broke into laughter except for the black-faced Walt who concluded correctly that war-time was not the best time to release a film about the love-life of a deer. 

J. The sentimental Pollyanna in 1960 made Walt cry at the studio screening but failed at the box office. Walt concluded that the title was off-putting for young boys.  

Walt was human, he suffered through many fits of anger and depression through his many trials. Yet he learned from each setback and continued to take even bigger risks which combined with the wisdom that experiencing failure can provide, leading to fabulous financial rewards: Let It Go.

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5. With a nickname like Bum, NFL coach Oail Andrew Phillips could not but live by this credo.

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6. A leaders job is to learn from each interaction, there better be smarter people to learn from in your vicinity: Most Girls.

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7. Paul Allen and Bill Gates took some risks while founding Microsoft. One huge risk taken by Gates was that he dropped out of college to help create Microsoft, Gates could have stayed in college to learn more but instead, he took the risk to drop out and live his dream of creating Microsoft. Bill Gates also took the risk of starting his business on a vision, the vision of the personal computer being a useful tool on every office desk and in every home. When Gates was asked about these risks he said that he feels that he did not take a risk but instead he had a plan that if his business failed, he had enough money that it would not hurt him. As for dropping out of Harvard, he did not drop out, he took a formal leave of absence that left him tied to Harvard if things did not work out. He had a system in place if his goal did not work out.

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8. Systems like lots of hard work in place equal luck, A Ho: Harder, Better, Faster.

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9. Yes, that Donald Trump, our one, and only POTUS.

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10. And from another side of the world and an earlier era, another world leader has her say: Rap Battle, Hilary vs. Donald.

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11. I want a million dollars, I have a million dollars, are you willing?

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12. John Davison Rockefeller Sr. was an American oil industry business magnate, industrialist, and philanthropist. He is widely considered the wealthiest American of all time, and the richest person in modern history: I’m Rich.

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13. And this from the most respected world leader of all time.

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14. And this is not the way to do it: That’s Life.

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15. Marcus does not exist on Google, The more famous quote is by Vince Lombardi which begins the man at the top…

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever heard goes something like this: If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. It sounds trivial and obvious, but if you unpack the idea it has extraordinary power. I know a lot of people who wish they were rich or famous or otherwise fabulous. They wish they had yachts and servants and castles and they wish they could travel the world in their own private jets. But these are mere wishes. Few of these wishful people have decided to have any of the things they wish for. It’s a key difference, for once you decide, you take action. Wishing starts in the mind and generally stays there. When you decide to be successful in a big way, it means you acknowledge the price and you’re willing to pay it.

I like today’s playlist, it has deep songs and silly songs, a bit of fun and thought. It begins with Christina Perri, then a Disney tune. Hailee Steinfeld from my collection of pop divas up next, then Daft Punk. The silly track is a Rap Battle between Donald and Hilary. We end with Ada and Frank Sinatra: What If Life Is Not A Gamble?

Show Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included until next we meet, my dear friends,

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Photo by Jasmine Wallace Carter on Pexels.com