Self Awareness and Self Love Matter!!


Up to Section 5 of Dare to Lead, Brene Brown’s exciting new book: Get It Here.

The section is titled Curiosity and Grounded Confidence and begins: “Grounded confidence is the messy process of learning and unlearning, practising and failing, and surviving a few misses. This brand of confidence is not blustery arrogance or posturing or built on bullshit; it’s real, solid, and built on self-awareness and practice. Once we witness how courage can transform the way we lead, we can trade the heavy, suffocating armour that keeps us small for grounded confidence that lifts us up and supports our efforts to be brave.” It’s unreasonable to believe that we can just rip off our self-protection mechanisms and streak through the office. Most of us armour up early in our lives because, as children, we needed to.

Brene then goes on about the paradoxes that elicit vulnerability in leaders and provides this excellent list:

  1. Optimism and Paranoia
  2. Letting chaos reign ( the act of building ) and reining in chaos ( the act of scaling )
  3. Big heart and tough decision making
  4. Humility and fierce resolve
  5. Velocity and quality when building new things
  6. Left brain and Right Brain
  7. Simplicity and Choice
  8. Thinking Global, acting Local
  9. Ambition and attention to detail
  10. Thinking big but starting small
  11. Short-term and long-term
  12. Marathons and sprints, or marathons of sprints in business-building

In a conversation with Dheeraj Pandey, CEO of a Silicon Valley IT company, Dheeraj says the following, “Leaders must learn the skills to hold these tensions and get adept at balancing on the ‘tightrope’ of life. Ultimately, leadership is the ability in the ambiguity of paradoxes and opposites.”

So, what does the world say about paradoxes and opposites, here are a few of my favourite things:

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1. How well do I embrace and opposites, better some days than others, a lifetime practice, methinks?

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2. Reads like lines from a really great song: Radiate.

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3. The gravity man, Sir Isaac Newton, watch out for the apples.

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4. The Light and the Dark, both are needed to transform: I Gotta Feeling.

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5. Anything goes, it is all required in our journey of life.

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6. That’s very Woo Woo, Albert: God Save The Queen.

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7. Fact check, did our favourite POTUS really say this?

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8. What do you say to your soul, I’m practising with I love You for five minutes in the mirror every day: A Whole New World.

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9. Something Judgement 101 does not allow.

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10. The classic reason why opposites attract, they are incomplete without their opposite, how many modalities teach us we need all the types of archetypes, personalities, etc. etc. etc: New Speedway Boogie.

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11. I post Ram Dass daily in Booker Looker land, he is one of my top ten faves on the net.

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12. More light and dark stuff, you can’t deny either for your life to work: Duality.

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13. They are sent to you to learn from them, what you resist persists, an old Landmark statement from the 1990’s that still rings true to this day.

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14. Best known for his book, The Myth of Equality, Wystma, a minister of the gospel helps us come to a deeper understanding of both the origins of these issues and the reconciling role people are called to play as a follower of the gospel. Inequality and privilege are real. The Myth of Equality opens our eyes to realities we may have never realized were present in our society and world. And we will be changed for the better as a result: Glory.

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15. The paradox of being attracted by an opposite, what are yours, mine is booze versus sobriety.

Brene sums it up as follows ” Learning how to rumble with vulnerability is work. And vulnerability never becomes comfortable, but practising means that when a vulnerability is washing over us, we can hear grounded confidence whisper in our ear, ” This is hard and awkward, and uncomfortable. You may not know how it’s turning out, but you are strong and you have practised what it takes to create and hold the space for it.” 

If you haven’t work it out from these two blogs, buy the book. It’s worth it for the free workbook and the glossary alone, not to mention the values list and the posters you get thrown in.

If you loved punk, there is a song for you on today’s playlist. We begin with a newbie for me, Hannah Kerr, then the iconic Black Eyed Peas, then the legend that is Johny Rotten leading the Sex Pistols. Another Disney classic from Alladin. An Aussie legend Courtney Barnett, then rocking out with Slipknot, then a beautifully smooth finish from John Legend: Self Awareness and Self Love Matter.

Spread Love and Respect to All, Everybody Included until next, we meet my dear friends:

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When Life Give You a Hundred Reasons To Cry.


I am about to do a course called the International Schools of Temple Arts Spiritual Sexual Shamanic Experience/Training and in the registration form, it asked what spiritual path or tradition do you follow or have followed, my answer was Shakya Tibetan Buddhism which I was deeply involved in for a period of 7 years. I thought that would be a great subject to write a blog on and did some online research as I gave away all of my Buddhist tomes several years ago.  I came across The Buddha in Your Mirror Practical Buddhism and the Search for Self by Woody Hochswender, Greg Martin, Ted Morino: Get It Here.

In it they write the following:

“If we were to apply these notions to the realm of human relations, certain insights would emerge. We would begin to realize that the lives of those in our immediate environment tend to mirror our own inner lives. Generally, if an individual finds other people unfriendly, it is often because he or she is provoking that reaction, one way or another. Similarly, if that person becomes friendlier, the people around that person will begin to react differently. An unusually kind and good-hearted person will tend to believe that others are the same. To a person possessed by lust for power, even the most selfless, benevolent actions of others will appear as cunning moves to gain power. When we cherish people with the same profound reverence as we would the Buddha, their Buddha nature functions to protect us. On the other hand, if we belittle or regard people with contempt, we will be disparaged in return, as though gazing into our own image reflected in a mirror. As much as we sometimes resist the idea, a smile and a few kind words can achieve near miracles by reducing hostility in many situations. There are people who can walk into a room and immediately lighten things up and lift everyone’s spirits. These are all illustrations of what Buddhism terms the principle of the oneness of life and its environment.”

So what has society said about the Oneness of Life, here are some of my favourites:

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1. What do you do to make yourself proud?

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2. How many times has your life unexpectedly changed in the last year, your clinging to supposed to causes anxiety around this: Club Controller.

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3. This is more my spiritual practice these days.

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4. Here is a way to bring your oneness in life to life: The Lie.

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5. At 64 this statement rings true for me.

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6. Two of my friends reached the end this weekend, they were both quite a bit younger than me, what was their what-ifs they hoped to fulfil before they were 64: Take Your Chance.

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7. Your Oneness is unique, never forget that:

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8. Oneness is not stopping and hoping things will change, It’s dancing with it: Singing In The Rain.

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9. I can feel it getting closer and closer.

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10. We cannot live forever, but the greats create something that liver long past their physical form. Nelson, Martin, Theresa, etc. etc. etc.: Someone Like You.

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11. Confucius’s principles have commonality with Chinese tradition and belief. He championed strong family loyalty, ancestor veneration, and respect of elders by their children and of husbands by their wives, recommending family as a basis for ideal government. He espoused the well-known principle “Do not do to others what you do not want to be done to yourself”, the Golden Rule. He is also a traditional deity in Daoism.

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12. You’ve got to fight for the right to Party.

 

 

 

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13. Your Oneness with Life will pay you back in kind.

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14. Speaking the truth Carol is: I’d Love to Change the World.

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15. But finally, remember that your Oneness in Life is yours, for you and that part of it is respecting others way of thinking.

Another tenet of Buddhism mention in the book is another link to an enriched life: “No one exists in isolation. We are connected to parents who conceived and raised us, to teachers who have educated us, and to friends who have encouraged us. We are also linked to people we have never met who harvest and distribute our food, manufacture our clothing, write the books that shape our thinking—in fact, we are connected to everyone whose efforts help hold together the fabric of society. There is no one in the world who has no connection to us.” So we have Oneness in Life and no one existing in isolation to tie together.

The playlist today begins in South Africa with Prince Kaybee and friends, then some spoken word from the Lie. Three different type of songs follow. They are Fun Factory, Gene Kelly and Adele. One of the classic anthems by the Beastie Boys is the penultimate track ending with a beautiful ballad by Jetta: When Life Gives You a Hundred reasons to Cry.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namaste-with-light

 

How Do I Make It Up To You?


Been journeying the workshop scene lately: Dancing Eros for Men – a 7-week journey into the female archetypes, Expand The Box and Possibility Lab, two 5 day journeys into radical responsibility and the Tantra is Love Sexuality workshop last weekend.

Each comes with notes and exercises of sorts and I am really enjoying reading and expanding from Clinton Callahan/s book Directing the Power of Conscious Feelings: Grab a copy. In this life-altering book, there are the distinctions between low and high drama. Low drama is what we play out with each other, fulfilling one of the roles of victim, rescuer or perpetrator in our day to day scenarios, we are very skilled at this as we are trained from a very early age to fill one of these roles.

High drama is taking responsibility for change in your life. The page I opened the book to has a list about how to train yourself in living in a high drama state, here it is:

  1. Refuse to leave the adult ego state, where you are yourself in the minimized now of the present moment. Put a stake in the ground there.
  2. Declare that you are not a victim. If there is not a victim, there can be no low drama.
  3. Consciously feed your four distinct feelings: anger, sadness, joy, fear.
  4. Detect if you are experiencing a present feeling or an emotion projected from your past or from an authority figure or institution ( Hint, if the feeling lasts longer than a few minutes, it is an emotion.)
  5. Use your emotions to detect the healing you need to do.
  6. Use your feelings to responsibly handle things
  • Make a boundary/become the boundary
  • Ask for what you want
  • Make a decision yes or no
  • Make a distinction, be precise
  • Start something/End Something

7. Neutrally observe what is going on. Choose what is.

8. Make a paper thin gap of nothingness between you and your box

9. Take radical responsibility for creating your circumstances. It is no one else’s fault.

10. If there are other people’s voices in your head, blast them away with your voice blaster.

11. Apologise for your patterns that have caused the breakdown.

12. Willingly enter the pain of remorse. Clear your resentments.

13. Be authentic about your inauthenticity.

14. Determine whose problem it is. If it is your problem, take responsibility. If it is not your problem, it is none of your business.

15. Get centred, Find and keep your attention. Stay unhookable.

16. Use your innate genius to continuously invent new ways to get out of a low drama.       Share what you learn with your friends and your enemies.

For the terms you do not understand, I recommend getting the book. Responsibility  is one of those words that can plug you in  if you are operating from low drama, so what does our society say about it, here are a few statements about it:

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1. Being in your now is another part of the training, some of us hang around in our now for 15 years, what if now was three seconds.

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2. But I can’t, Its too hard, I’m scared, which way is this: The Real Slim Shady.

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3. One plays in the dirt, the other soars above storms.

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4. Yes, you, you are one powerful motherf****: Diamonds.

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5. What is your word for it?

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6. Hal actually died at age 20. Hit head-on by a drunk driver at 70 miles per hour, he was clinically dead for 6 minutes, broke 11 bones, and eventually woke from a coma to be told by doctors that he would never walk again. Not only did Hal walk, but he also went on to run a 52-mile ultra-marathon and become a hall of fame business achiever—before the age of 30: Back From The Dead.

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7. Another word for a perpetual victim.

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8. The most natural path to fulfilling your destiny, take responsibility for your life: Buttons.

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9. If you can own no matter, you instantly become free.

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10. Actions not words, for me. I watched Question Time for our legislature yesterday and could clearly see why they lost the confidence of the general population a long time ago, it was like a bad stand up comedy performance: This is Me. 

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11. Reading mainstream media makes it okay not to do this, it is all low drama.

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12. The three-sided triangle, the cause, the solution and the matter, Yes, please: What makes you Stronger.

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13. What a great insight to have in our lives.

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14. Are you really a leader if you do not ultimately accept it: Responsibility. 

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15. “A new civilization is emerging in our lives, and blind men everywhere are trying to suppress it. This new civilisation brings with it new family styles; changed ways of working, loving, and living; a new economy; new political conflicts; and beyond all this an altered consciousness as well…The dawn of this new civilisation is the single most explosive fact of our lifetimes.”

Alvin Toffler, from The Third Wave (1980)

Here is an example of low drama vs. high drama: You are the dinner table, and you would like some water to drink, and you say “I am really thirsty,” you are playing victim to a low drama, trying to manipulate someone else into rescuing you. If instead, you say, “Harry, will you please pass the water, you are playing the warrior in a high drama. High drama is that simple.

All but one song are from this century on today’s playlist: We begin with Eminem and Rhianna. We then shift to rock with Skillet, then three pop divas, firstly The Pussy Cat Dolls, Kesha and finishing the trio with Kelly Clarkson. Finally one for the kids by Dolly Parton. Here’s the playlist link: How Do I Make It Up to You.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower

It’s preceded by Chaos!!


Marc and Angel time. In chapter 6, Getting Unstuck . of their inspirational book, Getting Back to Happy: The Entry Portal. they write – “The truth is, it’s never too late or too early to be who you are capable of being. There’s no time limit for when you can start living the life you’ve always dreamed of. There is no mythical door that shuts after you turn a certain age, blocking you off from experiencing the things you want to do. 

Human beings are experts at trying to avoid change, but change avoidance is one of the biggest factors that leads to unhappiness. When we find ourselves in situations that challenge our self-perception, we often react by feeling trapped or on guard. We often think that the worst thing that can happen is that the status quo will be interrupted. But who wants to spend their life thinking and feeling this way. Happily, life has a way of throwing up red flags when it’s time for us to make a change – we just . have to be watchful for them. With that in mind, take a look at this list and ask yourself: are any of these the reasons I’m unhappy with my life as it is now?

  1. Fear is holding you back,
  2. You catch yourself feeding the negative.
  3. Your mind is everywhere except right here, right now.
  4. You feel pressured to be someone other than yourself.
  5. You feel like you’re competing against everybody else.
  6. A relationship is making you miserable.
  7. You feel bored.
  8. You’ve been resisting change.
  9. Other people are writing your story for you.

If any of these resonate with you, you certainly aren’t alone. Many people are afraid to step forward and change their situation simply because they don’t know how or because they’re afraid to fail. Remember it’s always better to take an imperfect step forward that to take no step at all.”

It seems that there are so many more change agents on the planet these days via social media, etc. but let’s have a look at what history has said about it:

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1. Known for his statement on the difference between the East and the West: Asia is one. The Himalayas divide, only to accentuate, two mighty civilisations, the Chinese with its communism of Confucius, and the Indian with its individualism of the Vedas. But not even the snowy barriers can interrupt for one moment that broad expanse of love for the Ultimate and Universal, which is the common thought-inheritance of every Asiatic race, enabling them to produce all the great religions of the world, and distinguishing them from those maritime peoples of the Mediterranean and the Baltic, who love to dwell on the Particular, and to search out the means, not the end, of life.

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2. The man behind the origin of the species conversation, this is his major reason for why they survive: We are all Related.

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3. And what would our morning walks in Spring be like without the butterflies?

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4. No one ever said there would be no pain: Smack That.

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5. I grew up in an age where there was no internet, hard to believe.

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6. Each wave of your life is a unique experience, take that in: Turn The Tide.

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7. Advice from 25 centuries ago that is still relevant today.

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8. The Monk who sold his Ferrari, Robin introduces a major reason why we need a change in our lives, It leads to gorgeousness: Gorgeous.

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9. From my top ten people on the internet, Alan Watts calls on us to dive into change and life.

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10. No equals Next Opportunity: Stand Up For Something.

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11. And suddenly it all clears and its time.

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12. Nothing in nature stays the same, so why do we as human beings think that we are meant too: San Francisco.

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13. What if where you went in life was simply the detour you needed to take to make the change you needed in your life at that particular moment in time?

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14. A sobering thought, not something most people would look forward to, but a reality for a lot of humanity: California Dreaming.

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15. And sometimes the change may be that our field is returned to fallow – ploughed and left unseeded for a season or more.

So if you are hanging around in the list above, what’s the alternative? It’s in recognising that changing your situation is about taking action in the present. It’s about asking yourself: what are the things that I can do to improve my situation now? It’s coming to terms with the ideas and thoughts in your head that are holding you back. It’s about deciding that you are going to stop waiting, stop making excuses, and start making changes, however small they may be. Allow the chaos to begin and your life will transform.

Today’s playlist is eclectic in its nature. We begin with my favourite Nessi Gomes track followed by some rap for my nephew from Akon. Two pop divas in Sylver and Taylor Swift follow, then a possibility anthem from Andra Day with the list being closed out with two 60’s classics from Scott Mckenzie and The Mama and The Papas. Here is the link for your enjoyment: It’s Preceded By Chaos!!

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower

 

Forget The Risk and Take The Fall!!


Whats meant to Be Will Be: True strength comes when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead. There are blessings hidden in every struggle you face, but you have to be willing to open your heart and mind to see them. You can’t force things to happen. You can only drive yourself crazy trying. In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition, taking chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and learning through experience. It’s a long-term journey. You have to stop worrying, wondering and doubting every step of the way. You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be.

So what it means is mostly what is meant to be will be. You have the strength to survive whatever life throws at you, even though at times you may severely doubt this. How has society written about this over the eons, let us have a look:

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1. Rabindranath Tagore was a Bengali polymath, a poet, musician and artist who reshaped Bengali literature and music, as well as Indian art with Contextual Modernism in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Author of Gitanjali and its “profoundly sensitive, fresh and beautiful verse”, he became in 1913 the first non-European to win the Nobel Prize in Literature. Tagore’s poetic songs were viewed as spiritual and mercurial; however, his “elegant prose and magical poetry” remain largely unknown outside Bengal. He is sometimes referred to as “the Bard of Bengal”.

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2. How many years are you willing to wait to go home to where you are meant to be: I’m Going Home.

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3. You don’t have to stress and worry if it doesn’t happen straight away, no time frame to what’s meant to be.

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4. So you slept in and missed the 7 o’clock train. Don’t beat yourself up, you cannot change the circumstances: Right On Time.

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5. Reyna is a young African American woman with a YouTube channel on relationships and a best selling book called I Love my Life. Her video called How Vulnerability Can Help Us Grow is very insightful.

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6. I have had many a situation that did not turn out the way I planned only to have something better turn up soon after. I have learnt to not make it mean the world has ended because I didn’t get exactly what I wanted instantaneously, a problem in our instantaneous gratification society of today: Say Something. 

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7. The will of the Universal spirit works in mysterious ways. You may meet that person you think is the one, and God/Gaia will teach you the lesson that you need to learn at that stage.

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8. I had a period of  6 years where my mental health fell apart, I now believe if this had not happened I would not be doing the things I do that I love today: Shine Your Way.

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9. Assuming you will wake up tomorrow is an extreme assumption, but for some people, it does not happen.

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10. Marilyn Monroe (born Norma Jeane Mortenson; June 1, 1926 – August 5, 1962) was an American actress, model, and singer. Famous for playing comic “blonde bombshell” characters, she became one of the most popular sex symbols of the 1950s and was emblematic of the era’s attitudes towards sexuality. Although she was a top-billed actress for only a decade, her films grossed $200 million by the time of her unexpected death in 1962 (equivalent to $2 billion in 2017). More than half a century later, she continues to be a major popular culture icon: After You Get What You Want.

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11. If you have an attachment to a result when it does not happen when you expect it to, it adds much efforting to what you are up to.

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12. These practices take a lot of the risk out of living your life: Close To The Edge.

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13. That line, you have to draw the line of determination from desperation should be included in everybody’s boundary statement.

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14. Sometimes I feel really jealous when I see happy loving couples after my feeble attempts at having my romantic love affairs work out: Regardless.

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15. We go back to the years 767 CE to 820 CE  for our final quote and the words of the great Muslim cleric, Imam al Shafi’i. He was the founder of the Principles of Islamic jurisprudence otherwise known as Uṣūl al-fiqh which is the study and critical analysis of the origins, sources, and principles upon which Islamic jurisprudence is based.

The best thing you can do is keep going: Don’t be afraid to get back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, to dream again. Life’s best lessons are often learned at the toughest times and from the biggest mistakes. Sometimes you have to endure the worst to arrive at your best.

Today’s playlist contains some smooth soul and rocking Rock and roll, one of the great guitar anthems in my humble opinion starts it all off. Ten Years After from Woodstock then three soulful numbers from Aaron Cole, Justin Timberlake, and Owl City. Then a return to the sex symbol of the 1950’s, Marilyn Monroe. Another rock classic from Yes finishing with an ultra badass sex number from Masicka. Here’s the link, Enjoy: Forget the Risk, and Take the Fall.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends:

namasteflower

 

The Best Advice My Mother Ever Gave Me!!


As we journey through our personal and professional lives, there will inevitably be periods of incredible frustration and despair. During these hard times, it will seem that we’ve lost everything and that nobody and nothing could possibly motivate us to move forward in the direction of our dreams.

But luckily we are all holding a backpack of support that comes in many forms – it can be a simple SMS or email from someone we listen to, an inspiring Facebook Meme, a book a friend recommends to us, a blog you come across such as this one, a helpful neighbour etc., etc., etc.

In Getting Back to Happy: link to the website. Marc and Angel Chernoff state that there are two opportunities when we are feeling discouraged and unmotivated:

1. To recognise and appreciate our backpack of support – our external sources of motivation – before a random guru (or someone with much more crooked intentions) has to steal it from us so that we can finally see what we have always taken for granted.

2. To be present and tap into our own hearts and minds – our internal sources of motivation – which have the power to push us back up on our feet and guide us down the road to our backpack of support, even when it appears to be lost forever.

What does the world say about support, here are 15 gems to enquire into it:

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1. One of my musical friends is passing over to the other side and one of his closest buddies visited him for three hours recently. He wrote a post about it, that the most precious moments where when they went quiet together and just sat in the energy of their love for each other.

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2. Not sure about having to remain consistent, doesn’t unconditionality allow for all states of play: Perfect.

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3. For me, it’s my siblings. we have a deep love and respect for each other.

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4. It’s time to let your self-judgements drop away and let your worthiness shine on: Shine on You Crazy Diamond.

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5. The closer I get to this moment to moment the more joy is available to me on a daily basis.

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6. I like the theory that mistakes occur to show us that we are going down the wrong track: Same Mistake.

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7. Think Martin Luther King, Maya Angelou, Nelson Mandela, Wayne Dyer…etc, etc.

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8. I just spent 5 days at the Expand Your Box training that investigates what you have recorded in your body and how they control your ability to express yourself at 100%. It was revealing and transformational: Jump In The Line.

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9. A notion that is being supported more and more these days.

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10. Let go of your gaseous nebula, it’s holding your transformation up: A Star Is Born.

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11. The latter is not win: win it is winning happening on an ongoing basis.

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12. From little things, big things grow: From Little Things, Big Things Grow.

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13. I just love this image, I imagine myself as a 64-year-old replacing the child.

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14. One of the difficult things to give away in life, absolute trust: Trust.

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15. And a final word from Maya, actions not words is the best way of supporting yourself and your dreams.

No matter what your circumstances, you always have what it takes to take the next smallest step. As Epicurus so profoundly said. “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”

Be mindful, be present. Keep going. One small step at a time.

The playlist for today contains a few quirky numbers: First two varieties of Pink, then James Blunt followed by an outtake from Beetlejuice featuring Harry Belafonte. Then two duets by Babara Streisand and Kris Christofferson and possibly my favourite Australian song by Paul Kelly and Missy Higgins. Pop Diva Christina Perri finishes it. Here’s the link for your visual and aural pleasure: The Best Advice my Mother Ever Gave Me.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends:

namasteflower

 

How to Communicate Like A Buddhist!!


I was in North Fitzroy Public Library the other day, and there was a book sale. Amongst them was a book called the Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness, the much anticipated follow up to Mindfulness In Plain English by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana.

My secret, I am a trained Tibetan Buddhist Calm Abiding meditation teacher and was one signature away from applying to become a monk during the eight years I spent under the tutelage of Lama Choedak Rinpoche,  who is based in Canberra, Australia and in my opinion the second best interpreter of Dharma after his Holiness the Dalai Lama.

Back to the book, it cost me one dollar. So using my write about the subject on the page you open it to, today’s topic is Correct Speech, one of the eight branches of The Eight Fold Path. A little from Bhante on meditation:

Meditation is not easy. It takes time, and it takes energy. It also takes grit, determination, and discipline. It requires a host of personal qualities which we usually regard as unpleasant and which we like to avoid whenever possible. We can sum it all up in the American word ‘gumption’. Meditation takes ‘gumption.’  It is undoubtedly a great deal easier just to kick back and watch television. So why bother? Why waste all that time and energy when you could be out enjoying yourself?
Why bother? Simple, Because you are human. And just because of the simple fact that you are human, you find yourself heir to an inherent unsatisfactoriness in life which just will not go away. You can suppress it from your awareness for a time. You can distract yourself for hours on end, but it always comes back–usually when you least expect it.

All of a sudden, seemingly out of the blue, you sit up, take stock, and realize your actual situation in life.

So let’s take a trip down the eightfold path, memories of the countless nights and retreats I attended studying the dharma are flooding back, I was very good at it according to Rinpoche:

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1. What, no judgement, gossiping, criticism. That would silence a few people I know.

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2. Straight back to the midnight shows at the Valhalla and The Blues Brothers: Think.

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3. Another concept of Buddhism is Loving Kindness, this stream of flowers reminds me of it.

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4. Love me a Mind Map; This should be tattoed on all politicians hands to read before they speak in the chamber: Think Before I Speak.

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5. From the symbol in the left-hand corner, I would say this is a Zen saying,  beautiful, isn’t it?

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6. People’s greedy desire for power, politically we never seem to remember this is a premise of the eightfold path if not addressed: Don’t Tell Lies.

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7. What will mainstream media employees do when this comes into force when I am elected to power in this country, I don’t think they know how to do this.

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8. How long do you spend being ethical with your speech each day?: Where Is the Love.

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9. Not just the Buddhists follow right speech, here’s something from Hinduism.

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10. One of the classic tales about incorrect speech, Pinocchio needs no words under this image to get the message: Bad Liar.

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11. I own up to when the words feel trapped like this when I feel they may not land properly.

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12. How hurt are we when what we think is the truth was revealed as Lies: I’m not a Lesbian Anymore.

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13. Why, How and What. Our job in life is to discover our Why, and then you will never work another day in your life.

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14. I still have a Tee Shirt with the Dharmacakra on it; The Noble Eightfold Path is a sexy beast: The Eightfold Path In The Style Of Adele.

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15. And finally for the definition nerds out there, here it is.

Correct Speech has four qualities, the Buddha told us. It is always truthful, it is uplifting, not malicious or unkind. It is gentle, not crude or harsh. It is moderate, not useless or meaningless. I have a ways to go to achieve this moment to moment, a new daily practice.

The playlist today is quite quirky. We begin with Aretha Franklin from the iconic Blues Brothers movie, Then pop Diva Astrid S. The Black Eyed Peas appear on the next two clips, one with Ariana Grande at the Manchester benefit. Back to pop divas with Selena Gomez. But we finish with a lesbian anthem by Bria and Chrissy and then Rachel Moss interpreting The Eightfold Path in the style of Adele. Here’s the link to the playlist: How To Communicate Like A Buddhist.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

namasteflower

Three Things that Can No Longer Be Hidden!!


I was saddened when Debbie Ford died in 2013, I loved her work, it was so insightful. I recently found her book: The Dark Side of the Light Chasers – Reclaiming your Power, Creativity, Brilliance and Dreams in one of my cupboards. I opened it to page 68 and the following paragraph caught my attention: “Unconcealing is the first step of the shadow process. Unconcealing requires rigorous honesty and willingness to see what you haven’t been able to see. Acknowledgment of our shadow self-begins the process of integration and healing. Remember that each of these “negative’ traits has a positive gift for you, more value than you can even imagine. It’s only a matter of doing the work, and in a short while you’ll receive the blessings of wholeness, happiness and freedom.”

She still has a fine website dedicated to her work: The Gifts of Debbie Ford., you get a free audio if you sign up, her work is worth it. on the next page there are about 200 shadow words, here are just a few: Greedy, liar, phony, cheap, hateful, jealous, vindictive, controlling, nasty, possessive, bitchy, wimp, evil, geek, prudish, womanizer, slut, angry, secretive, codependent, predator, alcoholic, drug addict disgusting stupid,idiot, fearful, unconscious: that’s enough, you will have to buy the book if you want the whole list.

So why don’t we unconceal our shadows and dive deep into them to allow them to be healed by bringing them to the fore, the best way I have found to achieve this is through presencing them in your body, mind work does not do it for me anymore.

Let’s have a look at some quotes on the subject of unconcealing our lives:

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1. As Byron Katie says, do the work, it’s the only way.

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2. Don’t know if I agree with the first line, perhaps in Donald Trump: You’re so Vain.

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3. And this is one area in our lives that what we don’t unconceal can have terrible costs, please reveal your sacred love stories to each other.

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4. These rules will help you unconceal the areas you don’t do it, because with the light comes the shadow: Fight the Power.

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5. Myrtle Reed was an American author, poet, journalist, and philanthropist. She wrote a number of bestsellers and even published a series of cookbooks under the pseudonym Olive Green.

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6. Art, when unconcealed centuries later, reveals a lot about the cultures that have gone before us: Art for Art’s Sake.

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7. Having appreciated Rodin’s The Thinker sculptor for time immemorial love this quote re unconcealing our naked form.

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8. I have cried three times in my life since my baby days, one of them was when I was watching a tearjerking episode of Apple’s Way, a cheesy 1970’s TV show, go figure: Hello.

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9. As is a man.

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10. Have you unconcealed your commitment to service, it comes when you get to realise that life on earth isn’t satisfying when its all about you: People Help The People.

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11. Beautiful image, time to unconceal the Universe, my friends.

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12. Putting in Isha brings up Esha Gupta, an insanely beautiful Indian Bollywood Actress, arguments get the matter dealt with: Zombie.

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13. Think Donald in the U.S.A, Malcolm and Peter in Australia, Recep in Turkey, Bashar in Syria.

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14. Drisi is a young woman from India who describes herself as a bibliophile and a learning enthusiast, It’s great she is featured in Google images: Love Yourself.

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15. And finally, Unconceal the wild woman and man within you and unhide the love for yourself.

At the end of the demonstrative list of negatives is the following exercise and insight: “Imagine that an article was written about you in your local newspaper. What are the five things you would not want to be said about you? Write them down. Now try to imagine five things they could say about you that wouldn’t matter to you at all. the question is. are the first five things true and the second five untrue? Or, have you decided with the help of your family and friends that the first five things are the wrong thing to be, therefore you do not want them said about you? We  must uncover what is behind these words, so we can take back these disowned parts of ourselves.

Write down the judgements you have about each of these words. See if you can identify when you first made that judgement or whom you took that judgement from. Was it your father, mother or another family member? I’m sure this excercise will unconceal enough to start the transformation, its a worthwhile book to get to have the entire list.

The Playlist today begins with the 1970’s icon Carly Simon, then some grit from Public Enemy, a classic from Ten CC, A massive hit from Adele, Birdy follows with a plaintive plea, some Indie Rock by the Cranberries finishing with Hailee Steinfeld who appeared in the last playlist. Here’s the link: Playlist for Today.

Namaste until next we meet, dear friends.

namasteflower

 

All you need to get started!!


I attended a free workshop called Present Your Message by my friend and old choir leader Richard Lawton last night, he is known as the Voice Doctor having been an actor, theatre director, singing coach and presentation coach for over twenty years. He has written a book called Raise Your Voice: Transforming How You Speak, Sing and Present – the book’s website.

When I was in Soulsong, that’s the choir’s name we used to do 17th-century french line dancing as the warmup as well as German drinking songs to the tune of Beethoven’s Ninth.

Richards ability to get you out of your head when speaking in public is remarkable because as we all know, this is a human beings greatest fear.

He asked who likes hearing the sound of our voice being played back, one out of twenty people put their hand up. Then we had an enquiry into why we thought that was the case because if he had asked children the numbers would have been reversed.

Where did we lose the love of our voice, when did we make that decision and what does society have to say about the power of the voice:

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1. How many people do you have in your life that this happens with? These are the ones you trust.

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2. Don’t let your inner voice be one of your main hecklers, there are plenty of others whose opinions do this for us. Hands on heart and step forward courageously: The Voice.

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3. What do you want the Universe to hear, for me, it’s Love and Respect for all: Everybody Included.

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4. Possibly the sexiest voice in the world, Tom is a fine example of someone who fully expresses his voice: Kiss.

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5. Someone who did not listen to the inner critic, judge and censor that lives within us all, Malala has created a worldwide movement, do you think you can?

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6. Laurie Halse Anderson writes children and teenage books that make them think as well as battling censorship and the need for diversity in publishing: Express Yourself.

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7. You do the world an injustice when you withhold your truth because you feel they might get upset.

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8. Perhaps he would have made a better opera singer than an emperor, in the end, he wasn’t too great at that: Best Day of My Life.

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9. When I read his name, I must confess the words to The Year of the Cat entered my head.

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10. Echo has five different meanings in the online dictionary, I think what this quote is talking about relates to this one: one who closely imitates or repeats another’s words, ideas, or acts The Voice Within.

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11. I’m sure many of you have seen Wild, Wild, West, the doco on Netflix that belittles Osho and his followers. My take on it, Everybody has Shadow and Light: I relate to the wisdom and freedom that his words and insights provide for humanity.

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12. Remember their opinion isn’t about you, It’s always a reflection of the person saying it: Ironic.

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13. So when you are about to present to 2,000 people you are imaging all of them to be naked this is the voice to listen to.

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14. Or another way of saying it is, you can’t get the moment back. Hand on Heart, stride forward powerfully and say what has to be said: Opportunity.

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15. And of course, the last one must be the most serious and profound.

I mentioned the Judge, the Critic and the Censor under one of the quotes. Richard says these are the three characters that take our vocal power away. The Judge will give you a mark out of ten (usually three or less). The Critic will tell you that not only is this rubbish, but it’s the same rubbish you did last time and the time before. The Censor will tell you to keep your head down, keep quiet and wait till it all goes away.

So how do we get past this, my recommendation is BUY THE BOOK.

Music for this blog is one of Australia’s icons, John Farnham, The sexy Tom Jones, the ever eternal Madonna, newbies American Authors, the versatile Christine Aguilera, The woman who played God – Alanis Morrisette and ends with the sultry Sia.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends

namasteflower

Always desire to Learn Something Useful.


Once again we return to Danielle LaPorte’s great book White Hot Truth for today subject, that often misunderstood emotion called desire: Here’s the Link.

The chapter on desire is subtitled a broader view for creating reality and begins with the following poem:

Dear Infinity

soon

enough

My Future

will be

now

and my scars will have grown into

sacred geometry

(circles of Dignity, pyramids of Will, vortices of Love)

I hide what I have to let go of in furrows

behind a tail gate

and I whisper wishes

into every victory seed

I plant –

every one hears this prayer

Dear Infinity

Breathe life into

my every desire.

To give some context to desire let’s have a look at how different parts of society view it:

The Catholics: If you want it, you have to go through God to get it.

The Buddhists: Your problem is that you want it.

The Zen Buddhists: What’s to want?

The Hindus: You wanted that in your last life.

The Capitalists: You got to want it more than anyone else.

The New Agers: Just keep telling the Universe how much you want it.

I have followed Danielle’s Core Desired Feeling for over four years now, freed from my to do list perfection after one or two. So how do we as a society relate to this often verboten subject that is desire:

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1. Some people say Donald Trump is Ayn Rand’s love child. He obviously forget this piece of advice.

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2. I love this statement Tom Krause wrote about teaching, Welcome to teaching!!! You are now part of a profession solely dedicated to helping students of all ages learn. It is a profession where the more you give of yourself, the more you get in return. Most famous people are eventually forgotten. Teachers live on in the hearts and minds of their students for a lifetime: The Rose.

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3. “Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.” “There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else.

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4. 3 percent of people write their goals down. In a study they earned on average 10 times more than the other 97 percent. Do you write down your passions, your desired feelings: Change.

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5. Are you lost?

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6. And the surest way for them to be uncontrolled is to deny they exist and not deal with them: Scary Monsters.

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7. Whoever wrote this must have been following me around for a long time.

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8. I think the last word is praised: Praise You.

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9. But what if your fantasies become your reality: Yummy!!!

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10. A force to be reckoned with, desire can take you to some strange places:

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11. A photographer by trade, Jason uses his images and wealth to combat the negative effects ethnic identity has on the human race.

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12. Blind from the age of 7 to 15 after falling down the stairs, Eric Hoffer is famous for this insight – A movement is pioneered by men of words, materialized by fanatics and consolidated by men of actions: Opportunity.

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13. A prolific quoter, T. P. Chia has a site with over 800 quotes on it. Many of them pointing to it is up to us to fulfill our desires and turn them into achievements.

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14. A synonym for desire, curiosity is defined as a strong desire to know or learn something – “filled with curiosity, she peered through the window. Other ways of saying it are inquisitieness, interest, and spirit of enquiry: Curiosity killed the Cat.

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15. How many times has this  happened in your life, never knew there was such a sexy word for it.

Danielle comments that in her experience, desire works best when you have intersecting reasons for wanting what you want. Yu want it for yourself, and you want it for others. You want it for pleasure, and to be of service. You want it because having it gives you joy, and you can send that joy ( or money, or resources, or healing ) out in other directions. I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment.

The songs this time begin with a classic Bette Midler tune, then the pop diva Taylor Swift. We then return to the 80’s with Bowie followed by Fatboy Slim. Then a Bollywood tune from the Havoc Brothers, some Sia ending with an Australian icon Little River Band.

Namaste until next time , my dear friends.

namasteflower