Great Heart Will Not Be Denied.


In their excellent book, The Tools: Get it here. Phil Stutz and Barry Michels, offer 5 tools for efficiency. The Tools is a dynamic, results-oriented practice that defies the traditional approach to therapy. Instead of focusing on the past, this groundbreaking method aims to deliver relief from persistent problems and restore control–and hope–to users right away. Every day presents challenges–big and small–that the tools transform into opportunities to bring about bold and dramatic change in your life. These transformative techniques will teach you how to

GET UNSTUCK: Master the things you are avoiding and live in forward motion.
CONTROL ANGER: Free yourself from out-of-control rage and never-ending grudges.
EXPRESS YOURSELF: Learn the secret of true confidence and find your authentic voice.
COMBAT ANXIETY: Stop obsessive worrying and negative thinking.
FIND DISCIPLINE: Activate willpower and make the most of every minute. A change in attitude won’t stop you from screaming because attitudes can’t control behaviour; they’re not strong enough. To control behavior you need a specific procedure to use at a specific time to combat a specific problem. That’s what a tool is. … The point is that a tool—unlike an attitude adjustment—requires you to do something. Not only does it take work, but it is also work you have to do over and over again—every time you get frustrated. A new attitude means nothing unless followed by a change in behaviour. The surest way to change.

THE TOOLS There are five tools. Each solves a different type of challenge and is associated with a different “Higher Force.” Here they are in a nutshell:

Tool #1: The Reversal of Desire. The Higher Force: Forward Motion.

Tool #2: Active Love. The Higher Force: Outflow

Tool #3: Inner Authority. The Higher Force: Self-Expression

Tool #4: The Grateful Flow. The Higher Force: The Source

Tool #5: Jeopardy, The Higher Force: Willpower

They say Willpower is the most important to master, how are you with willpower on a daily basis, How has society spoken about its importance over time, let us have a look:

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1. I love Dan Millman’s book, The Way of the Warrior, a really deep look at Willpower.

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2. Willpower does not occur overnight, it is an ongoing practice that develops over time: Please Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood.

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3. One of the great challenges of building willpower.

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4. I’m going through a period of flabbiness at the moment, so glad to read this and take it on: In My Feelings.

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5. Aleister Crowley was an English occultist, ceremonial magician, poet, painter, novelist, and mountaineer. He founded the religion of Thelema, identifying himself as the prophet entrusted with guiding humanity into the Æon of Horus in the early 20th century. A prolific writer, he published widely over the course of his life.

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6. I remember playing football with my classmates back in the day. Three or four had the ability to make the highest level, yet only one did, what separated him was his determination to succeed at all costs: Believe.

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7. On the journey to Willpower, you will discover what to let go of.

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8. Yes or No?: Changes.

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9. Pay the Full Price and you will reach your graduation day.

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10. A very satirical poster on Willpower, do not give in: Wake Up.

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11. Make Willpower one of your New Years Resolutions and keep it.

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12. Known for his starring role in the Superman movie, On May 27, 1995, Reeve was left quadriplegic after being thrown from a horse during an equestrian competition in Culpeper, Virginia. He used a wheelchair and needed a portable ventilator to breathe for the rest of his life. He lobbied on behalf of people with spinal cord injuries and for human embryonic stem cell research, founding the Christopher Reeve Foundation and co-founding the Reeve-Irvine Research Centre: The Impossible Dream.

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13. Mother Teresa places it at top of the list.

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14. Back a few centuries for this quirky take on willpower: When a Blind Man Cries.

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15. And finally, from The Girls Guide to Health webpage, a gift for you.

A final comment from the authors on Why, Willpower?

“A few rare individuals refuse to have limited lives. They drive through tremendous amounts of pain—from rejections and failures to shorter moments of embarrassment and anxiety. They also handle the small, tedious pain required for personal discipline, forcing themselves to do things we all know we should do but don’t—like exercising, eating right, and staying organized. Because they avoid nothing, they can pursue their highest aspirations. They seem more alive than the rest of us.”

Today’s playlist is dotted with a lot of rock groups and Rap artists. We begin with the Animals from back in the day, moving onto Rap with Drake. Another group in Mumford and Sons is followed by the too soon gone Tupac. A live offering from The Arcade Fire is followed by the beautiful voice of Luther Vandross. We finish with Richie Sambora: Great Heart Will Not Be Denied.

Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included until next time, my dear friends:

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The Good News Is You are the Pilot!!


In their inspiring book Getting Back to Happy: Change your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs: Get It Here., Marc and Angel Chernoff explode myths. The one I am writing on today is that you have to wait for the “right time” to make a change in your life. The truth is it is never too late or too early to be who you are capable of being. There’s no time limit on when you can start living the life you’ve dreamed of. There is no mythical door that shuts after you turn a certain age, blocking you off from experiencing the things you want to do.

Happily, life has a way if throwing red flags when it’s time for us to make a change – we have to be watchful for them. With that in mind, take a look at this list and ask yourself: are any of these the reasons I’m unhappy with my life as it is now?

  1. Fear is Holding me Back.
  2. I catch myself feeding the negative.
  3. My mind is everywhere except right here, right now.
  4. I feel pressured to be someone other than myself.
  5. I feel like I’m competing against everybody else.
  6. A relationship is making me miserable.
  7. I feel bored.
  8. I’ve been resisting change.
  9. Other people are writing my story for me.

If any of these resonate with you, you certainly aren’t alone. Many people are afraid to step forward and change their situation simply because they don’t know how or because they’re afraid to fail. Remember, it’s always better to take an imperfect step forward than to take no step at all.

So, it is time to have a look at what society says about this situation:

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1. Without doing this you live yesterday after yesterday. I think its called Groundhog Day.

 

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2. After several failed attempts, Danny Sullivan won the Indy 500 and totalled $2 million dollars winning from 12 starts: The Time of My Life.

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3. Inspiring Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron, points out that the possibility is now.

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4. You will know when: Right Place, Right Time.

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5. But giving up your fear of failure will give it a more than even chance of it being the right time.

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6. I vote for making it: Hustle.

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7. Watch what they do, not what they say. Actions speak louder than words.

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8. Don’t give up, we all have mistakes along our journey: Don’t Give Up.

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9. They wrote some great song lyrics.

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10. As the navigator, you have to be right here, right now: The Navigator.

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11. Take that imperfect step into the above.

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12. When to do it by a man who changed the direction of the United States: His Greatest Speech.

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13. Begin it Now.

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14. Find the Others: Friends.

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15. We have the same 24 hours as Martin Luther King had, go for your dreams.

Rarely is life going to work out perfectly, and rarely will the stars align. If you’re waiting around to gather all the resources you think you need to take the next step forward, before you know it, you will have wasted all the time you have. Changing your situation is about being mindful of what you want to change- and then finding the one thing you can do first to improve it. That one action might not change everything, but it will put you on the path to something better.

The Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes classic starts the playlist today. Then the million-selling Olly Murs who I had never heard of. Jamelia funks it up next, then a superb live version of Peter Gabriels biggest hit. A  grungy offering from The Pogues, then some wise words from MLK, finishing with Ed Sheeran: The Good News is That you are the Pilot.

Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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Take me to the River!!


Several members of my year-long training program, The Warriors of Love went on an Essence outing to see Dr Joe Dispenza. He was spruiking his new book, Becoming Supernatural: How Common People Are Doing the Uncommon: Get it Here.

Joe talked about that he began to ask himself:

‘What if people begin to believe in themselves instead of something outside of themselves? What if they believe that they can change something inside of them and move themselves to the same state of being as someone who’s taking a placebo? Isn’t that what our workshop participants have been doing in order to get better? Do people really need a pill or injection to change their state of being? Can we teach people to accomplish the same thing by teaching them how the placebo really works?’

He calls this crossing the river of change. Joe speaks about this:

“Crossing the river of change requires that you leave the same familiar predictable self— connected to the same thoughts, same choices, same behaviours, and same feelings—and step into a void of the unknown. The gap between the old self and the new self is the biological death of your old personality. If the old self must die, then you have to create a new self with new thoughts, new choices, new behaviours, and new emotions. Entering this river is stepping toward a new unpredictable, unfamiliar self. The unknown is the only place where you can create—you cannot create anything new from the known.

“Some people call this experience the dark night of the soul. It’s the phoenix igniting itself and burning to ashes. The old self has to die for a new one to be reborn. Of course, that feels uncomfortable!”

So when did you last or have you ever crossed the River of Change, entered the dark night of the soul? We know our favourite cereal, or favourite cafe and our favourite TV show very well. How does the world relate to this, let’s have a look:

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1. Why is it worth doing, because with the dark naturally comes the light.

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2. Neruda became known as a poet when he was 13 years old, and wrote in a variety of styles, including surrealist poems, historical epics, overtly political manifestos, a prose autobiography, and passionate love poems such as the ones in his collection Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair (1924). He won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1971: Pablo Neruda.

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3. The unknown is the only place where you can create—you cannot create anything new from the known.

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4. Oh death remorseless, consume this flesh. Release this soul to begin afresh, truly magnificent: Hold On.

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5. You have to pay the full price to reach the other side.

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6. Many people reach out for a superior being after entering this space: I Wanna Dance with Somebody.

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7. after the death of her father from cancer, Joan, a medical researcher, became more interested in the person with the illness than in the disease itself and returned to Harvard Medical School to complete a second postdoctoral fellowship, this time in the new field of behavioural medicine. 

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8. Free hugs gain you entry: Hugging You.

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9. This may happen along the way, but your new created life awaits you.

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10. Your old thoughts will hold on tightly, they will not want you to leave: The Sounds of Silence.

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11. Joe must have been influenced by Carl, methinks.

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12. In that dark night, it is the voice of the soul that gets us through to the other side: King of Anything.

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13. Your heart burning up during the dark night of the soul. Don’t worry, it will come out all new and shiny on the other side, created by you.

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14. Without the Dark, no Lights: Starman.

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15. And finally what Joe says entering the dark night of the soul will provide: UncoverYourJoy.com.

I will finish with Joe’s main premise: “If this is your personality then your personality creates your personal reality. It’s that simple. And your personality is made up of how you think, how you act, and how you feel. So the present personality who is reading this page has created the present reality called your life; and that also means that if you want to create a new personal reality—a new life—then you have to begin to examine or think about the thoughts you’ve been thinking and change them. You must become conscious of the unconscious behaviours you’ve been choosing to demonstrate that have led to the same experiences, and then you must make new choices, take new actions, and create new experiences.”

Today’s playlist begins with my dear friend Kavisha Paola Mazzella, one of the truly superb voices. next Wilson Phillips, daughters of very famous 60’s musicians. Then a Whitney Houston power ballad. Over to the men for Tom Rosenthal and Disturbed. Penultimate is Sarah Bareilles, finishing with Sir David: Take Me to the River.

Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included until we meet again, my dear friends.

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Self Awareness and Self Love Matter!!


Up to Section 5 of Dare to Lead, Brene Brown’s exciting new book: Get It Here.

The section is titled Curiosity and Grounded Confidence and begins: “Grounded confidence is the messy process of learning and unlearning, practising and failing, and surviving a few misses. This brand of confidence is not blustery arrogance or posturing or built on bullshit; it’s real, solid, and built on self-awareness and practice. Once we witness how courage can transform the way we lead, we can trade the heavy, suffocating armour that keeps us small for grounded confidence that lifts us up and supports our efforts to be brave.” It’s unreasonable to believe that we can just rip off our self-protection mechanisms and streak through the office. Most of us armour up early in our lives because, as children, we needed to.

Brene then goes on about the paradoxes that elicit vulnerability in leaders and provides this excellent list:

  1. Optimism and Paranoia
  2. Letting chaos reign ( the act of building ) and reining in chaos ( the act of scaling )
  3. Big heart and tough decision making
  4. Humility and fierce resolve
  5. Velocity and quality when building new things
  6. Left brain and Right Brain
  7. Simplicity and Choice
  8. Thinking Global, acting Local
  9. Ambition and attention to detail
  10. Thinking big but starting small
  11. Short-term and long-term
  12. Marathons and sprints, or marathons of sprints in business-building

In a conversation with Dheeraj Pandey, CEO of a Silicon Valley IT company, Dheeraj says the following, “Leaders must learn the skills to hold these tensions and get adept at balancing on the ‘tightrope’ of life. Ultimately, leadership is the ability in the ambiguity of paradoxes and opposites.”

So, what does the world say about paradoxes and opposites, here are a few of my favourite things:

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1. How well do I embrace and opposites, better some days than others, a lifetime practice, methinks?

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2. Reads like lines from a really great song: Radiate.

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3. The gravity man, Sir Isaac Newton, watch out for the apples.

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4. The Light and the Dark, both are needed to transform: I Gotta Feeling.

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5. Anything goes, it is all required in our journey of life.

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6. That’s very Woo Woo, Albert: God Save The Queen.

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7. Fact check, did our favourite POTUS really say this?

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8. What do you say to your soul, I’m practising with I love You for five minutes in the mirror every day: A Whole New World.

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9. Something Judgement 101 does not allow.

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10. The classic reason why opposites attract, they are incomplete without their opposite, how many modalities teach us we need all the types of archetypes, personalities, etc. etc. etc: New Speedway Boogie.

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11. I post Ram Dass daily in Booker Looker land, he is one of my top ten faves on the net.

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12. More light and dark stuff, you can’t deny either for your life to work: Duality.

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13. They are sent to you to learn from them, what you resist persists, an old Landmark statement from the 1990’s that still rings true to this day.

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14. Best known for his book, The Myth of Equality, Wystma, a minister of the gospel helps us come to a deeper understanding of both the origins of these issues and the reconciling role people are called to play as a follower of the gospel. Inequality and privilege are real. The Myth of Equality opens our eyes to realities we may have never realized were present in our society and world. And we will be changed for the better as a result: Glory.

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15. The paradox of being attracted by an opposite, what are yours, mine is booze versus sobriety.

Brene sums it up as follows ” Learning how to rumble with vulnerability is work. And vulnerability never becomes comfortable, but practising means that when a vulnerability is washing over us, we can hear grounded confidence whisper in our ear, ” This is hard and awkward, and uncomfortable. You may not know how it’s turning out, but you are strong and you have practised what it takes to create and hold the space for it.” 

If you haven’t work it out from these two blogs, buy the book. It’s worth it for the free workbook and the glossary alone, not to mention the values list and the posters you get thrown in.

If you loved punk, there is a song for you on today’s playlist. We begin with a newbie for me, Hannah Kerr, then the iconic Black Eyed Peas, then the legend that is Johny Rotten leading the Sex Pistols. Another Disney classic from Alladin. An Aussie legend Courtney Barnett, then rocking out with Slipknot, then a beautifully smooth finish from John Legend: Self Awareness and Self Love Matter.

Spread Love and Respect to All, Everybody Included until next, we meet my dear friends:

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The Key To Life Is Not Accumulation!!


I was so looking forward to Brene Brown’s new book Dare to Lead I preordered two copies, my friend Steph is very happy I did, she’s a big Brene fan too so I gifted her the second copy. The complete title is Dare to Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts: Get It Here. I love Joseph Campbells quote about what is the cave I fear to enter and was going to write on that but there are not a lot of relevant quotes on Google Images, just 100 versions of one quote so I moved onto The Power and Wisdom to Serve Others.

Brene writes that “Joseph Campbell’s lesson was that when you find the courage to enter that cave, you’ve never going in to secure your own treasure or your own wealth; you face your fears to find the power and wisdom to serve others.”

My mother Edna was one of the greatest givers I have had the honour to know, she was a Brown Owl, think Brownies and Girl Guides and an elder at her church for many years and she passed this love of volunteerism onto her children. I remember when my friend introduced me to one of the team leaders at CERES environmental park the following way “Hold onto him, he is the worlds greatest volunteer” a little over the top, but you get the gist. Let’s look at the words society has used to honour those who give:

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1. Steve Maraboli was selected by Inc. Magazine as a “Top Leader to Follow” while dubbing him as, “The Most Quoted Man Alive” (2016).

From the Pope to the Dalai Lama, to Grammy Winners, to World Champions, to Oscar Winners, to Presidents and Prime Ministers… Steve’s life-changing words are shared and published throughout the world by media, global leaders, athletes, celebrities, and individuals across a wide range of platforms.

Google Facts has Steve Maraboli referenced or quoted in over 3,000 books in their database.

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2. This is what I battle with on a daily basis, my penchant to intellectualism versus living life from my heart: In My Life.

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3. It’s called giving, not expecting.

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4. I saw an American Economics professor lecture the other day on why his country had lost its way because it had forgotten this: Rise Up.

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5. From little things, big things grow.

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6. He led the movement that freed the second most populous country by following this credo: Let It Start With Me.

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7.Karma: The totality of a person’s actions and conduct during successive incarnations, regarded as causally influencing his or her destiny.

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8. Leave behind a legacy, not pictures of you on a wall: Happiness is Helping Others.

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9. Are you behind with your rent?

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10. Well said, Dave: Walking on Sunshine.

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11. I feel the happiest when I am achieving these other things in my life.

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12. A controversial character, Mother Teresa confronted people about the former to the point where quite a few became pissed off with her: Truly, Madly, Deeply.

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13. Do you sleep well at night knowing this?

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14. Ashes to Ashes, dust to dust. That’s us, but through your actions, you can live on in others: Celebrity Eminem Covers.

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15. Without a good nights sleep, the takers’ health suffers, it doesn’t matter what quality their food is.

Brene finishes the chapter with the following line: Daring Leadership is ultimately about serving other people, not ourselves. That’s why we choose courage, A Ho!!

As you would expect with writing about serving others, today’s playlist is quite uplifting. It begins with the Musical Le Miz, then Andra Day and No Other Name. Be Motivated by a Motivational track then ride the Waves with Katrina. The penultimate track is Savage Garden and we finish with celebs covering Eminem songs: What if Life is not a Gamble.

Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included until next time, my dear friends.

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When Life Give You a Hundred Reasons To Cry.


I am about to do a course called the International Schools of Temple Arts Spiritual Sexual Shamanic Experience/Training and in the registration form, it asked what spiritual path or tradition do you follow or have followed, my answer was Shakya Tibetan Buddhism which I was deeply involved in for a period of 7 years. I thought that would be a great subject to write a blog on and did some online research as I gave away all of my Buddhist tomes several years ago.  I came across The Buddha in Your Mirror Practical Buddhism and the Search for Self by Woody Hochswender, Greg Martin, Ted Morino: Get It Here.

In it they write the following:

“If we were to apply these notions to the realm of human relations, certain insights would emerge. We would begin to realize that the lives of those in our immediate environment tend to mirror our own inner lives. Generally, if an individual finds other people unfriendly, it is often because he or she is provoking that reaction, one way or another. Similarly, if that person becomes friendlier, the people around that person will begin to react differently. An unusually kind and good-hearted person will tend to believe that others are the same. To a person possessed by lust for power, even the most selfless, benevolent actions of others will appear as cunning moves to gain power. When we cherish people with the same profound reverence as we would the Buddha, their Buddha nature functions to protect us. On the other hand, if we belittle or regard people with contempt, we will be disparaged in return, as though gazing into our own image reflected in a mirror. As much as we sometimes resist the idea, a smile and a few kind words can achieve near miracles by reducing hostility in many situations. There are people who can walk into a room and immediately lighten things up and lift everyone’s spirits. These are all illustrations of what Buddhism terms the principle of the oneness of life and its environment.”

So what has society said about the Oneness of Life, here are some of my favourites:

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1. What do you do to make yourself proud?

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2. How many times has your life unexpectedly changed in the last year, your clinging to supposed to causes anxiety around this: Club Controller.

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3. This is more my spiritual practice these days.

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4. Here is a way to bring your oneness in life to life: The Lie.

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5. At 64 this statement rings true for me.

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6. Two of my friends reached the end this weekend, they were both quite a bit younger than me, what was their what-ifs they hoped to fulfil before they were 64: Take Your Chance.

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7. Your Oneness is unique, never forget that:

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8. Oneness is not stopping and hoping things will change, It’s dancing with it: Singing In The Rain.

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9. I can feel it getting closer and closer.

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10. We cannot live forever, but the greats create something that liver long past their physical form. Nelson, Martin, Theresa, etc. etc. etc.: Someone Like You.

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11. Confucius’s principles have commonality with Chinese tradition and belief. He championed strong family loyalty, ancestor veneration, and respect of elders by their children and of husbands by their wives, recommending family as a basis for ideal government. He espoused the well-known principle “Do not do to others what you do not want to be done to yourself”, the Golden Rule. He is also a traditional deity in Daoism.

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12. You’ve got to fight for the right to Party.

 

 

 

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13. Your Oneness with Life will pay you back in kind.

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14. Speaking the truth Carol is: I’d Love to Change the World.

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15. But finally, remember that your Oneness in Life is yours, for you and that part of it is respecting others way of thinking.

Another tenet of Buddhism mention in the book is another link to an enriched life: “No one exists in isolation. We are connected to parents who conceived and raised us, to teachers who have educated us, and to friends who have encouraged us. We are also linked to people we have never met who harvest and distribute our food, manufacture our clothing, write the books that shape our thinking—in fact, we are connected to everyone whose efforts help hold together the fabric of society. There is no one in the world who has no connection to us.” So we have Oneness in Life and no one existing in isolation to tie together.

The playlist today begins in South Africa with Prince Kaybee and friends, then some spoken word from the Lie. Three different type of songs follow. They are Fun Factory, Gene Kelly and Adele. One of the classic anthems by the Beastie Boys is the penultimate track ending with a beautiful ballad by Jetta: When Life Gives You a Hundred reasons to Cry.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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Never tell people how to do Things, Tell them what to Do.


This list is from John C. Maxwell’s excellent book: The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Get It Here.

What would happen if a top expert with more than thirty years of leadership experience was willing to distil everything he had learned about leadership into a handful of life-changing principles just for you? It would change your life! John C. Maxwell has done exactly that in “21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership”. He has combined insights learned from his thirty-plus years of leadership successes and occasional mistakes with observations from the worlds of business, politics, sports, religion, and military conflict. The result is a revealing study of leadership delivered as only a communicator like Maxwell can. Here is the list:

THE 21 LAWS OF LEADERSHIP

1. The Law of the Lid. There’s a lid to your potential; it’s determined by your leadership ability. Therefore, expand your leadership capacity and expand your ability to impact the world.

2. The Law of Influence. As Maxwell says a number of times throughout the book, “The true measure of leadership is influence—nothing more, nothing less.”

3. The Law of Process. We can’t snap our fingers and become great leaders overnight. Maxwell tells us: “Leadership develops daily, not in a day.” 

4. The Law of Navigation. Steering the ship is relatively easy. Leaders chart the course—seeing where they want to go and charting the most effective course to get there.

5. The Law of Addition. Leaders serve. They focus on creating value for others. It’s not so much “What’s in it for me?” but “How can I serve?” That’s the law of addition.

6. The Law of Solid Ground. Maxwell tells us that trust is the foundation of leadership. We must stand on the solid ground of solid character—living with integrity, being trustworthy.

7. The Law of Respect. People “naturally follow leaders stronger than themselves.” We must cultivate our strength if we want people to respect us and be willing to follow our lead.

8. The Law of Intuition. As Emerson says, we must trust ourselves—“every heart vibrates to that iron string.” As a mentor of mine once said, “Trust yourself. Always.”

9. The Law of Magnetism. Who you ARE is who you will attract. Want to attract great people? BE GREAT. That’s the law of magnetism.

10. The Law of Connection. We must connect with others. Maxwell tells us, “Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand.”

11. The Law of Inner Circle. Our potential as leaders is determined by those closest to us. Whose in your inner circle?

12. The Law of Empowerment. You need to be confident enough to give power to others. Trust yourself and trust your team to crush it.

13. The Law of the Picture. People will do what they see. We need to create a “picture” of what awesome looks like which inspires people to follow our lead. Embody your ideals.

14. The Law of Buy-In. You have a great vision. Fantastic. (And essential.) But know this: People buy into YOU, the leader before they buy into the vision.

15. The Law of Victory. Victory. Leaders are FIERCELY committed to winning. Period. That relentless pursuit of victory is essential. (We’ll chat about this more as well.)

16. The Law of Big Mo. Mr Momentum. Is a very close friend of effective leaders. We need to create (and celebrate!) little wins—always remembering that progress is uber-powerful.

17. The Law of Priorities. It’s not enough to be busy. We need to be effective. Leaders take the time to properly line up their dominoes and focus on what’s most important.

18. The Law of Sacrifice. The higher you go, the more you need to be willing to give up. Leaders trade-off freedom with responsibility.

19. The Law of Timing. As Jim Collins says in Great By Choice, not all moments are created equal. Leaders know when to lean in and seize the moment.

20. The Law of Explosive Growth. Maxwell tells us about “leader’s math”—if you want to multiply your growth, create more LEADERS not followers.

21. The Law of Legacy. What do you want people to say at your funeral? Leaders keep this vision firmly in mind and dedicate their lives to its fulfilment. A quick inventory: Favourites? Strengths? Weaknesses?

“In a study of ninety leaders from a variety of fields, leadership experts Warren Bennis and Burt Nanus made a discovery about the relationship between growth and leadership: ‘It is the capacity to develop and improve their skills that distinguish leaders from their followers.’ Successful leaders are learners. And the learning process is ongoing, a result of self-discipline and perseverance. The goal each day must be to get a little better, to build on the previous day’s progress.

So how many of the Laws do you work on daily, here’s what the world says about Leadership:

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1. You can’t do it on your own, Go that way and it will work out is what the leader is there for.

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2. Master, Miss, Ms, Dr, Mrs, Mister, they are titles, being a leader is not: If You’re Out There.

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3. Actions not words, Leadership 101.

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4. Obviously, they are speaking about Donald Trumps leadership style, aren’t they: When I’m Gone.

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5. I don’t take up the Challenge every day, do you?

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6. Presence, Presence, Presence, Leadership: My Immortal.

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7. Mark Yarnell died in 2015, lauded as the Worlds greatest network Marketer, he was truly inspiring — “I’ve lived a “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah” life he said. “I’ve squeezed every ounce of joy out of every single day. It’s been an absolute blast!” And, he encouraged each of us to become the best possible version of ourselves while living a life of freedom.

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8. Even for your mistakes, that’s what real leadership is: Responsibility.

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9. Are you the former or the latter, Your Choice.

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10. Trying leadership on: Try.

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11. Word origin of ‘courage’: Middle Eastern & Old French – corage, heart, spirit  Latin cor, heart. Where we find our passion, In the heart.

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12. I recently came back in contact with Fiona, the woman who showed the leadership to get 13 disparate individuals to travel from Australia to Moscow to run a marathon in the name of ending world hunger, her leadership was inspirational at the time. It was the year before the Berlin Wall came down and communism ended in Russia: Fight Song. 

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13. Remember, it’s your actions that create the opportunities for others to become leaders too.

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14. I would change the middle quotes to Goes there own Way: Go Your Own Way.

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15. It’s OK to take walks, but it’s leadership that makes the difference after all.

As author Hans Finzel observed, ‘Leaders are paid to be dreamers. The higher you go in leadership, the more your work is about the future. At the same time, leaders are practical enough to know that vision without action achieves nothing. They make themselves responsible for helping their followers take action.” Great leaders are BOTH visionary *and* practical.

Today’s songs begin with John Legend, then we travel to the rap of Eminem. Rock takes over for the next three tracks with Evanescence, MxPx and Janis Joplin. It closes out with a very cute video of Rachell Platten and a whole lot of kids and finishes with a classic Fleetwood Mac number: Never tell people how to do Things, tell them what to Do

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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If at First, you don’t Succeed, You’re Normal!!!


 

In her excellent, book: Mindset, The New Psychology of Success – How We Can Learn to Fulfill Our Potential: Get it here. Carol Dweck, Stanford University psychologist in decades of research on achievement and success, has discovered a truly groundbreaking idea-the power of our mindset.  Dweck explains why it’s not just our abilities and talent that bring us success-but whether we approach them with a fixed or growth mindset. The major difference between the two is as follows, Carol writes:

“The growth-minded athletes, CEOs, musicians, or scientists all loved what they did, whereas many of the fixed-minded ones did not. Many growth-minded people didn’t even plan to go to the top. They got there as a result of doing what they love. It’s ironic: The top is where the fixed-mindset people hunger to be, but it’s where many growth-minded people arrive as a by-product of their enthusiasm for what they do. This point is also crucial. In the fixed-mindset, everything is about the outcome. If you fail—or if you’re not the best—it’s all been wasted. The growth mindset allows people to value what they’re doing regardless of the outcome.”

“Is it ability or mindset? Was it Mozart’s musical ability or the fact that he worked till his hands were deformed? Was it Darwin’s scientific ability or the fact that he collected specimens non-stop from early childhood?” 

“People with the growth mindset know that it takes time for potential to flower.” ~ Carol S. Dweck, PhD.

So how has the growth-minded mindset been viewed over the centuries, here are a few of my favourite sayings:

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1. Out there on the edge, that is where we discover what we love to do. What it is that we really want to spend our time on.

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2. What happens to the hundreds, even thousands of children’s mindset who were going to be astronauts when they grow up and that of the rare few that actually make it: How Far I’ll Go.

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3. The yellow ones say it all.

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4. As long as you really believe 100 per cent, another way of saying doing something you love: I Believe In Miracles.

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5. First attempt in Learning, Forever Acquiring Important Lessons, First Action in Learning equals your flaws.

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6. My group is called the Warriors of Love, brought together by my mentor Arion Light to spread Essence work around the globe: Essence.

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7. Did you see that chance fly by? No sorry, it isn’t part of my growth mindset.

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8. Definitely, from the land of the growth mindset, a challenge may not exist as a concept in Fixed Mindset land: Hey World, Don’t Give Up.

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9. “Every child needs someone to be crazy about them.” These are the words of Salome Thomas-EL, award-winning teacher and principal, and nationally recognized educator. They shape his life-long commitment to answering the question, “How do we ensure that every child achieves their greatest potential?” This question lies at the heart of the national dialogue on education policy, the day in and day out work of school personnel, and the hopes of every parent. Central to this challenge is how we succeed with children who are facing the most serious barriers to success: poverty, violence, neglect, and low expectations.

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10. It’s easier to master when it is truly doing what you love: #that Power.

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11. Everything, your body is not deaf, like we think it is at times.

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12. They have growth mindsets, they came out as someone’s bundle of joy just like the rest of us: Not Afraid.

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13. From Carol, three amazing important W questions to ask yourself each day.

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14. Beep, Stop-Go: I am not my Hair!!

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15. Obstacles, challenges, mistakes, frustrations, etc. etc. , all part of life.

What is the danger of the fixed mindset? If you are stuck in this mindset it can get us in (a lot of!) trouble. Let’s take a quick look at the “growth mindset”: “In this mindset, the hand you’re dealt is just the starting point for development. The growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Although people may differ in every which way—in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments—everyone can change and grow through application and experience.”

Some rock rhythms in today’s playlist. It begins with a soundtrack hit from Alessia Cara, then Hot Chocolate have us believe in miracles. We then rock it out with Lucinda Williams and Michaele Frente. Then pop from this century with Will.I.Am, an Eminem anthem finishing with India.Arie: If at First, you don’t Succeed, You’re Normal

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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We want Presence, Not Presents!!!


Amy Cuddy’s TED talk on Your Body shapes who you are is the second most watched after Sir Ken Robinson’s one on Creativity. Her book on Presence, funnily enough, called Presence: Get it Here. is a powerful look into what separates the great from the ordinary. In it, Amy states:

“The opposite of powerlessness must be power, right? In a sense, that’s true, but it’s not quite that simple. The research I’ve been doing for years now joins a large body of inquiry into a quality I call presence. Presence stems from believing in and trusting yourself—your real, honest feelings, values, and abilities. That’s important, because if you don’t trust yourself, how can others trust you? Whether we are talking in front of two people or five thousand, interviewing for a job, negotiating for a raise, or pitching a business idea to potential investors, speaking up for ourselves or speaking up for someone else, we all face daunting moments that must be met with poise if we want to feel good about ourselves and make progress in our lives. Presence gives us the power to rise to these moments.”

Presence = “the state of being attuned to and able to comfortably express our true thoughts, feelings, values, and potential.” Note: That’s not a *permanent* state of nirvanic bliss. It’s a moment-to-moment experience in which “We are no longer fighting ourselves; we are being ourselves.”

How do you relate to being present, for me, it has been an ongoing dichotomy with that little voice in my head that says Who do you think you are to………………….., fill in the dots. How has the world related to Presence over time, here are a few of my favourite takes at it:

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1. In September 2011, Mos Def joined the cast of the environmental children’s hip-hop musical – Pacha’s Pajamas: A Story Written By Nature – as narrator. He stated “the earth was given as a trust to mankind, so we have a responsibility to look after it, take care of it, treat it with respect ’cause it’s a gift from the creator to us… We’re so dependent on the natural world. The natural world’s also dependent on us… If we don’t treat it good, it’s not gonna treat us very good either.”

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2. Perfectionism, often related to as the booby prize, when do perfectionists begin their projects: Living in the Moment. 

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3. During my Mental Health period, it was the presence of my siblings that got me through, not their words.

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4. I have reduced my Facebook online presence from seven days a week to three to express the above scenario: Glorious. 

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5. We all know people who enter the room, and the room stops.

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6. Where’s Wally: In my Presence.

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7. Remember to add value wherever you are at any time.

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8. I am still seeking that special someone: Boo’d Up.

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9. In 1969, Harbhajan Singh established the 3HO (Healthy, Happy, Holy Organization) Foundation to further his missionary work. The Yogi’s brand of Sikhism appealed to the hippies who formed the bulk of his early converts. The Sikh practice of not cutting one’s hair or beard was already accepted by the hippie culture, as was Sikh vegetarianism. They liked to experience elevated states of awareness and they also deeply wanted to feel they were contributing to a world of peace and social justice. Yogi Bhajan offered them all these things with vigorous yoga, an embracing holistic vision, and an optimistic spirit of sublime destiny.

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10. Another way Eckhart Tolle expresses the Power of Now equalling being present: Redemption Song.

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11. Soul presence, very special.

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12. Drescher’s first acting break was a small role as the dancer Connie in the blockbuster movie Saturday Night Fever (1977), in which she delivered the line “So, are you as good in bed as you are on the dance floor?” to John Travolta’s character. She is a uterine cancer survivor: Fran Rocking It.

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13. Marshall gifted the world Non-Violent Communication. According to his biographer, Marjorie C. Witty, “He has a fierce face– even when he smiles and laughs. The overall impression I received was of intellectual and emotional intensity. He possesses a charismatic presence. 

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14. Right Here, Right Now: Right Here, Right Now.

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15. Some of these conversations are silent.

Amy also asks us to recall a moment when you felt personally powerful. A time when you felt fully in control of your own psychological state—when you had the confidence to act based on your boldest, most sincere self, with the sense that your actions would be effective. Maybe it was at work, at school, at home, or in some other part of your life. Take a few minutes right now to remember and reflect on that experience of your personal power, on how it felt.

It’s that feeling we seek in our life, it’s available moment to moment if we let it blossom.

We begin with some modern tunes this playlist. Starting off is Jason Mraz, then Macklemore, Drake and Ella Mai. Then back in time to Bob Marley, Fran Drescher, yes, the Nanny, finishing off with a Fatboy Slim classic: We want Presence, not Presents.

Namaste until next time my dear friends, there’s now a search button to look up your favourite blog subjects:

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Failure is a Bruise, Not a Tattoo!!


Eric Greitens has an unusual combination to his four careers: Navy Seal, Rhodes Scholar, boxing champion and recognition as one of the top 100 American humanitarians. His admirable book “Resilience”: Get it Here.is a series of edited letters written between himself and one of his former SEAL comrades.

In it, he writes: “You will fail. Especially in the beginning. You will fail. And that’s not just OK, it’s essential. Without resilience, the first failure is also the last—because it’s final.

Those who are excellent at their work have learned to comfortably coexist with failure. The excellent fail more often than the mediocre.

They begin more. They attempt more. They attack more. Mastery lives quietly atop a mountain of mistakes.

The exceptional artist throws away hundreds of photographs. The exceptional writer wears out the eraser. The exceptional investor puts money into losing ventures. If every risk you take pays off, then you probably aren’t actually taking risks. We don’t want to excuse recklessness and foolishness as “just taking risks,” but we should understand that those who have built true excellence in their lives are always fighting at the edges of their ability.

What distinguishes the exceptional from the unexceptional? A willingness to fail, and an exceptional ability to learn from every failure.”

I cannot admit that I  have learnt from every failure and moved forward immediately, but I am getting better at it, how about you? What words of wisdom have society written about our friend resilience, let’s have a look:

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1. Fits in with the saying as soon as you stop learning you begin to die.

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2. Asking for help powerfully from a place of strong relationship calls out to me, totally different to a barely heard impotent, Help Me…: Changes.

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3. Nelson Mandela’s solution: Fall Down, Get Up every time.

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4. It’s those who face the storm who build the greatest resilience and do it the fastest: Riders ON The Storm.

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5. Steve Maraboli’s parents migrated to the U.S. to escape poverty in Chile. Steve Maraboli has created, contributed to, and impacted Humanitarian, Education, and Empowerment programs in 40 countries. Steve is a recipient of the prestigious United Nations Award for Philanthropy and continues to serve in support of Global Literacy and Education.  

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6. The unexpected moments in your life: therein lives your resilience: 10 Unexpected Songs.

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7. The Japanese way of life, structured to succeed at all levels.

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8. I know of Alain through his School of Life, of which there is a branch in my hometown of Melbourne, Australia. The School of Life titles its courses according to things we all tend to care about: careers, relationships, politics, travels, families. An evening or weekend on one of its courses is likely to be spent reflecting on such matters as your moral responsibilities to an ex-partner or how to resolve a career crisis: Art for Art’s Sake.

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9. Resilience teaches you to trust in your innate wisdom.

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10. As we age, we all get cracks: Express Yourself.

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11. Mine come from Motorbike accidents, how about you?

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12. I love nature when it is at it wildest, it reminds me that the calm is not when nature/life is at its most impressive: She’s like the Wind.

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13. And some Jungian theory to up the ante.

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14. They say it takes a special person to be a millionaire, and even a more special one to become one again after they lose everything the first time: Bounce Back.

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15. Unbreakable, they are the resilient ones, it’s in all of us.

Life’s reality is that we cannot bounce back. We cannot bounce back because we cannot go back in time to the people we used to be. The parent who loses a child never bounces back. The nineteen-year-old marine who sails for war is gone forever, even if he returns. “What’s done cannot be undone,” and some of what life does to us is harsh…

 

You know that there is no bouncing back. There is only moving through. Fortunately, to be resilient we don’t need to go back in time.

What happens to us becomes part of us. Resilient people do not bounce back from hard experiences; they find healthy ways to integrate them into their lives.

In time, people find that great calamity met with great spirit can create great strength.”

After walking us through a mini-Physics lesson, Eric tells us that there’s no bouncing back. There’s only moving through.

We can never return to who we were before a challenging experience. What we—as resilient people—must do is integrate the experience into our lives and use the challenges as fuel for our own growth.

As Eric advises, “great calamity met with great spirit can create great strength.”

Another return to the last century for most of today’s playlist: We begin with Bowie, a new version of a Doors Classic by Snoop Dogg, then a Various Artists compilation of unexpected hits followed by Ten CC, Madonna and Dirting Dancing. We return back to finish in our time with Big Sean: Failure is a Bruise, Not a Tattoo.

Namaste until next time, my dear friends.

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