Twelve years ago, after an emotionally abusive long term relationship I decided subconsciously I would never put myself through that again and chose the Life of Being single. I started doing personal development stuff and looked at different issues over the years, this one seemed to slip through to the keeper. Then I met a woman at Mojo. The first time we eye gazed for twenty minutes, the second time we screamed at each other for ten.
I didn’t know what to do, as a single man she could have asked me to fuck her on the dance floor and I probably would have said no. So I spoke to my mentor, who unpacked my single man decision. We then went through an exercise imagining her walk through the door and to see how close she could get to me. Not really close at all at first, just a few steps into the room. Many sessions later, it allowed me to be standing next to her with her in my arms. Nothing happened with this woman, because I was ages away from breaking the single man mould.
Two years later and several failed attempts by women, I have the honour to be in a relationship with a woman I had known six years. She is brave, confronting, loving and willing to go the whole nine yards to make it work. At times I am shit scared that it will not work out again and at other times there is so much ecstasy surging through my body I feel that I will implode.
So what has the human race said about love relationships, lets have a look:
1. Everything, my beauty. Not some of it, the fear, the scared little girl, the raging anger, the hurt, all of it.
2. What is the name of your street? Mine is Ecstacy Street: Love Street.
3. Was I in love before that totally unexpected phone call, maybe?
4. This is the final destination I seek: That’s What Friends Are For.
5. I cannot put this into actual words, its a feeling.
6. No words and I am a wordsmith: Your Smile.
7. And see you and have you grow side by side.
8. I love it that you love God, Beauty: Love Of My Life.
9. Sound familiar?
10. I hand these to you willingly, beauty: Somebody to Love.
11. Even when my scared little boy identity fucks up and makes your heart ache, I remember your orgasmic smile.
12. Helen Keller, blind and deaf: Insightfully speaking the truth: You’re Beautiful.
13. What exactly is need?
14. Truth 101: I Love You.
15. And in the final lesson for this blog, I plead guilty as charged.
The title of this blog was meant to contain the word’s, Lost Life Opportunities as well. Why is this relevant? I reached Age Pension age, 66, one week ago. It is never ever too late. I must mention my life ethos of Love and Respect, Everyone Included. But I will finish with a question, what is going on that humanity trains our hearts to not trust they can be totally loved?
The playlist of love songs starts with The Doors, then the soulful Dionne Warwick and friends, also Rene and Angela.. next, Queen by two. The penultimate song is by James Blunt and we complete with the one-hit wonders from the sixties, The Volumes: You Know, It’s Never to Late!!!
Until we meet again, my dear friends.