Are you present , or in your head?


I recently invited a dear friend over for dinner, the second person besides my family I have had in my home in 6 and a half years. To say  I was excited is an understatement and I was thinking about how I could make the night perfect. That was where I made my blunder, I was in my head about it most of the night and not very present at all. Surprisingly my friend did not say anything directly at the time but let me know later that I had been mostly not present for her the whole time.

I have spent most of my adult life trying to work things out in my head and now have the opportunity to do it from and open up my heart. When she asks me what are you feeling I have to fight the urge to look in my head for the answer and feel into my heart also not to tell a story from my past or speculate on the future, but to be in the present or as Eckhart Tolle tells us, The Power of Now. It is a journey that we have agreed to take together to deepen our friendship.

Friendship, what has the universe said about that over the years, lets have a look:

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1. Christie Brinkley is an American model, actress, and entrepreneur. Brinkley gained worldwide fame with her appearances in the late 1970s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues, ultimately appearing on an unprecedented three consecutive covers starting in 1979. 

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2. The letters IM drop out of your life when everything becomes possible: Signed, Sealed, Delivered.

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3. They exist in that part of your heart that says, we will always be friends.

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4. Do you wait?: A Song for You.

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5. One is the most powerful number.

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6. True friends are cemented together at the heart: That’s What Friends are For.

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7. These are the people who where 5 years apart feels like 5 minutes when you meet.

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8. They light the way and you need to no longer be afraid of the dark: I will Always Love You.

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9. The Bible has some good stuff in it.

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10. I have several of the atter family in my life, I love them: We are Family.

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11. And you must keep proving it day to day if the friendship is to grow.

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12. Disturb them with the question, what are you feeling?: Endless Love.

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13. Like I will honour and love you, just as strong a promise.

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14. My heart shuddered reading this one: Baby Please Don’t Go.

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15. And for our final lesson today, the most profound statement of the blog, Hahaha.

So I am finishing this at 10.50 pm at night because I have spent many hours deepening our friendship over the past two days. It was joyous, confronting and loving and all the things in between. is it worth it, Fuck Yes!!!

The playlist tonight is dedicated to the BLM movement. Firstly Stevie Wonder leads off, following by the little known vocal genius Donny Hathaway. Dionne Warwick and her friends then hit the stage, handing it over to Whitney Houston. Chic and Sister Sledge then occupy the stage for a while, making way for Luther Vandross and Mariah Carey and we finish with a rocking tune by Muddy Waters and the Stones: Are you Present or in Your Head?

How changing is this journey of deep friendship I am taking? I intend that it transform my relationship to what friendship means and that my heart will be truly opened for the first time in my life. We have just begun but I am so more in touch with my world ethos of Love and Respect for all, Everyone Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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P.S. This one is for you, Amy.