Everyone Has Oceans to Fly!!


How do you know the difference between your preferences and your boundaries? I am doing this amazing online public speaking course called RISE with Fleassy Malay, it is the top 5 courses I have ever done, and I have done a lot over the years: Enter Fleassy’s World. and she points out that we often mix the two up, preferences become boundaries and boundaries become preferences. How do they differ, let’s look at their definitions:

Preference is defined as:

the fact that you like something or someone more than another thing or person:

Her preference is for comfort rather than stylish clothes.
I have a preference for sweet food over spicy.
Choosing furniture is largely a matter of personal preference.
It would be wrong to discriminate against a candidate because of their sexual preference (= the sex of the people they are sexually attracted to).

an advantage that is given to a person or a group of people:

We give preference to those who have worked with us for a long time.
Special preferences were offered initially to encourage investment.
Boundaries are defined as:
Like physical boundaries, emotional boundaries define separateness. Your emotional boundaries are the property lines that separate your thoughts and feelings from those of other people.
To me, preferences live in the realms of the examples above and boundaries are those gut feelings that much our stomach churn when we know they are not being respected or people have just walked through them.
So what does our society have to say about boundaries, there were some quite different expressions of it when I looked.
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1. Unlimited giving is a surefire recipe for health problems to emerge.

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2. Remember the age-old formulae: You are the result of the five people you spend the most time with, choose wisely: Get Up, Stand Up.

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3. Lamott has described why she writes: I try to write the books I would love to come upon, that are honest, concerned with real lives, human hearts, spiritual transformation, families, secrets, wonder, craziness—and that can make me laugh. When I am reading a book like this, I feel rich and profoundly relieved to be in the presence of someone who will share the truth with me, and throw the lights on a little, and I try to write these kinds of books. Books, for me, are medicine.

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4. You may lose some of your peeps when you put them in place, and who they are may surprise you: Brene’s take on it.

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5. Boundaries bring out people’s real nature.

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6. Have clarity when you set them, and then stand by them as if you are defending your child’s life: No Need to Argue.

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7. Boundaries actually increase your ability to give over time.

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8. You have to wake up with you in the morning, so make sure the respect is there: Respect.

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9. Teach the people in your life, or they will make it up how they relate to you.

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10. If how you relate to people crosses more than the one on one relationship you have some work to do: Crossing Boundaries.

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11. Today’s boundaries are how you live your life.

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12. Don’t accept an invitation if it crosses your boundaries, as said above no is a complete sentence: Ball and Chain.

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13. But always remember there are times your boundaries need to be fluid.

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14. Brene: Boundaries equals being courageous: Perfect.

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15. Our final lesson comes from the great Persian poet, Rumi. Have boundaries but remember to remain curious.

As we travel along our timeline some preferences may become boundaries and boundaries preferences. that is the joy of being human, each moment is a new experience allowing us to chose to grow or diminish. It’s up to Us, Because We Can, It’s our Time.

The Playlist honours some extremely powerful divas today. We begin with the only male, Bob Marley. The spoken word is next from Brene Brown. The sultry voice of the lead singer of The Cranberries is next followed by the powerful vocals of Aretha Franklin. Then a mini discovery in Mina AlAli. One of the great performances from the ’60s is next by Janis Joplin and we close with Pink: Everyone Has Oceans To Fly.

I don’t really like the other types of boundaries, I am fighting them as hard as possible to ensconce my world paradigm of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until next we meet, my dear friends.

Earth Tribe

 

 

People Underestimate Their Capacity For Change!!


Is there a right time to communicate something? I have been wishing to apologise to someone for a while as to how I had been relating to her based on her physical looks versus who she was as a person. I had held her as being far too beautiful to consider talking to someone as decrepit as me. It was meeting another member of her family that made me realise what a beautiful heart she had and how she showered unconditional love on her friends who did not make gross judgements like I had. I have run into her a couple of times recently but both times we have had our party faces on. Crowded rooms, dancing and interruptions every few minutes from people we both know. Comments like the cake is nice or that’s a great track is about the level of conversation.

How has society treated the right time to have a deeper conversation, or am I being precious. This is what they said:

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1. That puts the question directly in my face, how much do I really want to do this?

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2. An extended Nike quote: This Is How We Do It.

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3. Known for his role of Col. Steve Austin, The Six Million Dollar Man, Lee Major was definitely in the right place at the right time as this series as it ran for 5 years and was one of the most popular shows on TV at the time.

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4. I am more and more being able to pick the moments: Hooked On A Feeling.

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5. Michael Bloomberg is an American businessman, politician, author, and philanthropist. As of April 2019, his net worth was estimated at $62.1 billion, making him the 6th-richest person in the United States and the 9th richest person in the world. He has joined The Giving Pledge, whereby billionaires pledge to give away at least half of their wealth. To date, Bloomberg has given away $8.2 billion, including his November 2018 $1.8 billion gifts to Johns Hopkins University for student aid — the largest private donation ever made to a higher education institution.

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6. With the right time added in, miracles can happen: Anything Could Happen.

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7. This is what happens when we live an identity-based life and do not listen to what the essence in our heart is telling us to do.

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8. Unfortunately, this is not what we are taught in life, that every moment is the right moment, Fortunately, we have the chance to unlearn all the bullshit rules we are taught around this: Right Here, Right Now.

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9. Have to agree with Nelson on this, often the mistake is in waiting too long and it becomes overripe leading to catastrophic results.

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10. How often do we live these regrets over our lifetime: Mr Wrong.

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11. Time is precious, better that you don’t waste it procrastinating.

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12. Choose wisely: Perfect.

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13. And Martin Luther King Jr did do what was right, he transformed a nation.

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14. At 64, I’m not sure about this. Not sure how much time I have left: A Thousand Years.

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15. Sometimes it doesn’t feel this way, but it has turned out to be true.

The further I got in writing this the more my head started to throb, this is always a sign that I am avoiding what I need to do to be in balance. Its time to get in contact.

The playlist is pretty modern today featuring only one song that has the number 19 before it. We begin with Now United then travel back to Blue Swede. Ellie Goulding is the first of three pop divas making way for Fatboy Slim, Mary Blige invites her friend Drake along for a sultry number then to the mega huge; Ed Sheeran. We complete with one of my favourite tracks about time by Christina Perri: People Underestimate Their Ability to Change.

I have to get past this there is a right time judgement of life if I am to have the world paradigm become Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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My Story Matters because I Matter!!


Have you seen it, I’ve watched it five times, etc. etc.. I’m talking about the latest Netflix sensation, Brene Brown’s special The Call to Courage. I’ve watched it once but have viewed everything on Youtube several times over the years. The title of this blog is one of her quotes, and when her last book Dare to Lead was released I pre-ordered it three times by mistake, my two friends I gifted it to were rapt.

I have read every book she has written at least twice because she is a great writer and makes it easy to receive many aha moments per page. Let’s list them:

  1. The Gifts of Imperfection.
  2. Daring Greatly.
  3. I Thought It Was Just Me: But It Isn’t.
  4. Rising Strong.
  5. Rising Strong As A Spiritual Practice.
  6. The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting.
  7. The Power of Vulnerability.
  8. Braving The Wilderness.
  9. Connections Curriculum – 12 Sessions.
  10. Dare To Lead – Brave Work.
  11. Women and Shame, Reaching Out.

 

Oops,  I have not read them all after seeing the list, two to go. I put Brene Brown quotes in Ecosia Images, I use Ecosia search engine ILO Google because of the fact they plant a tree for each click, and there were hundreds, it’s like all of her words are a quote that can transform your life. These are the ones I have chosen, It’s time for some Brene bliss:

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1. These days of the online world, they are called Trolls.

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2. And the booby prize is …: Perfectionist Complex.

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3. Don’t forget the little things, remember to stop and smell the Roses.

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4. If you only do what you know what you feel safe doing, the word boring comes to mind. Time to step up to mistake land: Another Lifetime.

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5. Happy, Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, Joy.

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6. My marketing mentor laughed at me when I said I could do research for everybody. Andrew said, what about working with people you like working with, find the others: They must deserve It.

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7. We are not Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, at the base of it all, we are all human.

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8. Shadow and Light travel together, attempting to ignore the shadow is pure bullshit, the pain will remain and return tenfold until you are willing to deal with it: Growing Pains.

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9. For me, it lives in the realm of what we don’t know we don’t know.

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10. Kur-it. This is why my English students often stare at me with strange looks when I pronounce words for them: Reach Out.

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11. Repeat after me, I am Enough. Repeat after me, I am Enough, etc. etc…

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12. And at the base of it all, there is Love: Love Myself.

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13. How do you respond when a beloved shares their life with you?

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14. To be totally balanced in our bodies, we need to feel it all: Comfortably Numb.

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15. And fro Brene’s final lesson, it’s a long one and a doozy. If all you get is the aha moment from this one then Brene has done her job.

My top three: Daring Greatly, Rising Strong and Dare to Lead. It is also worth checking out her website, her free resources are awesome: Access to all Things Brene.

The playlist begins with two newbies to me, Jubyphonic and Nao. The spoken word has of course to be Brene, that’s next. Pop diva Alessia Cara follows and then we go way back to The Four Tops. Then my favourite Self Love song from Hailee Steinfeld and Pink Floyd close the set: My Story Matters Because I Matter.

So that’s my love letter to Brene Brown. She would be a fan of my lifetime paradigm: Love and Respect for All: Everybody Included. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

Self Love 12

 

 

Be So Good They Can’t Ignore You.


I crew on three drug and alcohol-free dances within our community so ever rarely come across toxic drug and alcohol abuse spaces. I attended one on Saturday night as I had been invited by a DJ friend of mine, Mickey Space to attend his birthday gathering at a place called Horse Bazaar. It was like a return to my dark secret past. This was the venue my wildest girlfriend and I used to attend to dance after taking Acid or Ecstasy over a two year period every Saturday night 15 years ago. I never thought I would return there.

Mickey plays great music, so I was enjoying the dance when this rather drunken, amazingly beautiful young women, most of them are young when you are 64, came up to me and said, “You are too transparent, you’re not allowed to be that transparent, it’s unfair.”  I told her I was a Dancing Eros sister, an ISTA graduate and a Warrior of Love. I sat her down and showed her the Dancing Eros homepage, and said look it up when you are sober: Access to Dancing Eros.

What would life be like if we were all as transparent with each other as I was that scared the bejesus out of this young woman? I am an empath so often feel the effect we have on each other. Unfortunately, I feel the pain people think they are hiding that they don’t want people to see so often have to leave events early. What has society said about transparency over the decades? Here are the most relevant I could find:

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1. This is one gift if you think of it as one you receive as you become more and more transparent.

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2. Simply, His Holiness rocks: Dalai Lama’s Guide To Happiness

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3. All you do is confuse others when you continually change directions.

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4. Wikipedia thinks Himanshu is either an Indian Bollywood actor or a New York rapper, I’m not sure about that, but I really like the intent of this quote: There is So Much Magnificence.

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5. I have discovered I have worn a lot of masks over the years: Shyness, Judgemental, Alcohol and Drug Abuse, it takes committing yourself to a journey to remove them.

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6. Some words: Brene Brown, vulnerability, it’s worth it: Embracing Vulnerability.

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7. Not greatly relevant, but I like it.

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8. How often in our lives don’t we do this for the sake of keeping the peace: Honest.

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9. Transparency may lead you here.

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10. I think if you are living a transparent life, that the other two would just fall in place: I’m Your Man. 

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11. When I am writing a note to the woman I wish to be my beloved I write the following: Remember to Breathe next time we meet, my beloved. From your beloved, if that is what you have chosen. I am still waiting for a reply.

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12. It’s all in the eyes. They say they do not lie as they are the gateway to the soul: Bette Davis Eyes.

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13. Does this go along with Home is Where the Heart Is. Maybe.

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14. This may be a fallout out if people are on different journeys towards transparency: So Am I.

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15. And our final lesson comes from Bono, who points out powerfully the cost of not telling the truth.

There were quite a few definitions of what transparency means, this was my favourite: the quality of being done in an open way without secrets.

In tribute to being in Rise – Speaker Training the playlist contains two spoken word tracks. We begin with His Holiness, The Dalai Lama, then two of my favourites Deva and Miten. Then the current Netflix craze, Brene Brown. Then one of the many rappers around at the moment, Future. Two legends follow in Leonard Cohen and Kim Carnes, completing with Ava Max: Be So Good They Can’t Ignore You.

What I am transparent about is spreading the paradigm Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. The more people I can have see this as a possibility, the merrier. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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There’s Enough Sun for Everybody!!


I am part of the conscious community of Melbourne, we love dancing, workshops and parties. A lot of the people make there living from offering healings, workshops, and dances to the other members of the community. One thing people in the community are naff at is self-marketing. There are over 15 Facebook groups and several Webpages they could offer their products on for free, yet many do not seem to know of their existence.

They post on their personal page and their business page and cross their fingers that it will land on enough of their friend’s pages for people to find out about it. One thing that fascinates me is that not many people take the time to share their friend’s offerings on their personal pages. It takes at a maximum, 30 seconds and is one of the ways that you can best support their endeavours. Facebook algorithms are getting mean as fuck, so reliance on them is at best, stupid. I made a decision several years ago that I would share every event that I came across in the community as my gift to my friends. Recently this is a message I received from a friend I did it for Wow. Rod that is so incredibly kind of you. Thank you! I do often feel I am promoting a million things and it makes it hard to find a genuine connection to my community and audience (even though I know what I offer has value and worth). Having others spread the word is an incredible gift for me. Thank you.

To me, supporting local creativity is a no brainer, but what has society said about supporting each other, let’s have a look:

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1. As I said, it takes 30 seconds to post an event on social media.

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2. From an often pilloried POTUS, comes this beautiful request: Where Is The Love.

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3. You may never know who you heal with your kindness, just be kind.

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4. I was stopped in the central mall in our city by a young family one day, He said you may not remember me, I used to be a heroin addict who came to your Centrelink office, your kindness to me over time helped me get off it, you saved my life. What do you say when someone says that to you: People Help The People.

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5. Hearts, Ears, and Hands. Everybody has them.

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6. Cheap at half the price: Inspiration from Muhammad.

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7. Empowerment is what works,  jealousy is the booby prize.

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8. Shadow and Light, they travel together. That which you focus on has the power in your life: Faded.

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9.  I have been working on this for over 40 years, it is not as easy as it seems.
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10. That’s what friends are for, only one song really: That’s What Friends are For.
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11. Find yourself, by losing yourself, not totally logical, but it works for me.
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12. Who have you lifted up today, this week, this month, etc. etc: I Can See Clearly Now.
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13. This means something totally different down here in The Land Down Under, check out Australia Slang Terms.
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14. Pass it along: We are Family.
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15. The final lesson is from the world’s curly-haired genius, Albert. Lets live a worthwhile life.
So my call out is every time you see an event shared by a friend, take the 30 seconds to share it, you could be paying their child’s school fees.
The Playlist today is a very positive one. Black Eyed Peas and Ariana Grande kick it off, then Birdy shares a very positive number. The spoken word is from Muhammad Ali today, New to me Alan Walker with his over 1 billion hits follows. Then a posse, Dionne Warwick, Stevie Wonder, Elton John and Gladys Knight combine. We head to the West Indies next to hear from Jimmy Cliff and finish with Sister Sledge: There’s Enough Sun For Everybody.
I love my community, it is a place where my paradigm, Love and Respect For All, Everyone Included is very close to being fulfilled:
IamLoved7

Intimacy is Into Me See!!


What is true intimacy? This is a question and a state of play I have been exploring for the last three years. Admittedly I am coming from a very low base. I have found one of the things that most gets in my way is when I come from I think I know what intimacy is. All those memes, books and audios on finding your true soulmate have begun to confuse me, how she should look, how old she should be, what sexual predications she prefers, does she have or want children, etc., etc. etc.

I make chai at a dance called Mojo, The Dance of Connection, It is a truly sacred place where most of the angst that society attaches to intimacy disappears over the duration of the night. One night I looked out over the dancefloor late into the night, and a sense of sadness came across me because I realised that over 50 per cent of these beautiful souls would go home alone. The expression Sacred Love Letters passed through me. I had no idea what that meant.

Over the next two weeks, I had many thoughts to what it could mean. This is what I came up with. Here we go: As we get older we are trained to not share our intimate moments, being told that it is not safe to reveal our greatest secrets. What does this lead to: Three facts, the divorce rate, average length of relationships 18 to 25: six months and the proliferation of dating apps with their dick picture postings.

So this workshop idea came through, its called The Sacred Love Stories workshop and the premise is that for each chakra you tell your, “If they ever knew that about me, they would never talk to me again story as well as your: Yes I actually did this, and I am not boasting story”. The premise is in doing it with people you might not know as well as your intimate beloved people there will be not as much as a charge and it will move you down the path to doing it with your beloveds.

I have not had the gonads to actually run it yet, but have a list of people I have to contact when I do. Its very close.

So what does society say about intimacy? There are lots of beautiful quotes on the subject, here are some of my favourites:

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1. I recently discovered that the person I hold in my heart does not feel the same way, surprisingly, in letting her go, I had the most erotic dance with her I have ever had in my life on Saturday night.

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2. Would you get an A-plus or an F: Hold My Hand.

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3. This is what I did the first night I put the women I mentioned in my heart.

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4. So who of my readers have heard of the 70’s group the Seekers: A World of our Own.

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5. Can’t read the authors name, but more Eye Gazing.

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6. Kiara was born in Barquisimeto, Venezuela. She took her first steps into the entertainment world when she joined her school choir but, because of her distinctive, powerful voice, the rest of the members didn’t feel she blended in well and wasn’t allowed to stay in their musical ensemble. Seven best selling albums later, she sort of proved them wrong: Liberame.

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7. Jim Carrey, Fear and Love, Google It.

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8. Mazlo missed this one: All of Me.

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9. One day we meet the one we never get over and then we know why all the others did not work out.

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10. You look across the room, and their weird says, Thank god I finally found you, game over: Sweet but Psycho.

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11. I love the saying it’s easy to get a kiss, not that hard to have sex, but finding the one who touches your heart and warms your soul, that’s hard shit.

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12. Rollo Reese May was an American existential psychologist and author of the influential book Love and Will (1969). He is often associated with humanistic psychology, existentialist philosophy and, alongside Viktor Frankl, was a major proponent of existential psychotherapy: Hope.

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13. Sometimes its not about the jiggy thing.

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14. Break down the wall that prevents you from having intimacy in your life: The Mystical Power of Intimate Relationships.

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15. And for our final lesson, a reminder that the intimacy must begin with ourselves.

So my breakthrough has come by being curious about it and checking with my heart, and not the memories in my head of my past failures. Would you like to be added to the Workshop waiting list? I promise it will happen this year.

Today’s playlist covers 5 decades and three countries. It begins with the County superstar, Jess Glynne. Then a blast from the past, the most popular 70’s Aussie band, The Seekers. We cross the ocean to Venezuela to hear Kiara. The smooth John Legend follows, then the quirky Ava Max. Pop diva Natasha Bedingfield sings a song of Hope and we finish with some spoken word from Marianne Williamson:Intimacy Into me See

As well as intimacy in my life I also wish for the community paradigm to be Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until we meet again my dear friends.

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Words aren’t Enough To Convey How Much I Miss You.


I have begun an amazing journey with one of the best Spoken Word artists in Australia if not the world Fleassy Malay, it’s about public speaking and is called Rise: Access to the journey. Fleassy has a  spoken word performance Witches, Fleassy’s inspiring poem on women’s empowerment, reached 1,000,000 views in 3 days.  It currently sits at over 2,600,000 views in less than one year: Witches.

Truth is Fleassy’s power used to scare the shit out of me, as when she performed she stood in her power, something I had sought for over 60 years and until this year, failed to achieve. Each week of the course I am falling more deeply in love with what gifts she has to offer the world. Each week we have a group Zoom call, this week it was on giving and receiving gifts. I belong to the tribe of the Givers and am incredibly naff at the latter. Each person shared their own version of how they perform them, each one was unique.

So I went in search of my quotes on the subject, not surprisingly there are thousands more on giving than there are on receiving. I think the ones I have chosen display this quite well, let’s begin the journey:

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1. It doesn’t say you have to create a cycle of giving and receiving that never ends.

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2. The red words are the important ones: The law of Giving and Receiving.

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3. Self Care is always an essential part of the recipe though.

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4. Dame Freya Madeline Stark DBE was an Anglo-Italian explorer and travel writer. She wrote more than two dozen books on her travels in the Middle East and Afghanistan as well as several autobiographical works and essays. She was one of the first non-Arabs to travel through the southern Arabian Desert. I imagine that she would have had to be a maven at receiving given the cultural conversations of the time in that part of the world: Sweet Child of Mine. 

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5. Love the name, Peace Pilgrim, and her ethos.

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6. And yes, they rhyme: Treasure. 

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7. The names a little bit clouded, but what a beautiful quote.

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8. This is exactly what we discussed today: Superwoman.

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9. How good are you at actually asking for receiving help, let alone a gift?

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10. From Little Things, big things grow: That magnificent song.

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11. Yes, it can fulfil your dreams.

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12. Bit obscure, but I love the colours: Singing In The Rain.

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13. One of my top ten on the net, I have 5,000 groups, so that says something. if you don’t know him, Google time.

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14. Loretta Young was an American actress. Starting as a child actress, she had a long and varied career in film from 1917 to 1953. She won the 1948 Academy Award for Best Actress for her role in the 1947 film The Farmer’s Daughter and received an Oscar nomination for her role in Come to the Stable in 1949. Young moved to the relatively new medium of television, where she had a dramatic anthology series, The Loretta Young Show, from 1953 to 1961. The series earned three Emmy Awards, and was re-run successfully on daytime TV and later in syndication. In the 1980s, Young returned to the small screen and won a Golden Globe for her role in Christmas Eve in 1986: Nobody’s Perfect.

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15. The final lesson, there’s that asking word again. Go on, you can do it.

I’m sure as I go through the excellent material provided by Fleassy to transform my listening and ability in the arena of Public Speaking I will fall more deeply in love with what this course has to offer, by the way, it is online so any of you can sign up, we have a few Americans already.

How could I not start the playlist with Spoken Word, so Deepak Chopra leads off followed by The Gunners. Some pop from Bruno Mars and Alicia Keys fill the next two slots. My most ever chosen Playlist song is next, an Aussie classic by Paul Kelly and Missy Higgins. We finish with two uniquely diverse artists, Hollywoods Gene Kelly, and the pop world artificially created Hannah Montana: Words aren’t Enough to Convey How Much I Miss You

So to our beloved group of humans on the Rise journey, I wish you Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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