What is true intimacy? This is a question and a state of play I have been exploring for the last three years. Admittedly I am coming from a very low base. I have found one of the things that most gets in my way is when I come from I think I know what intimacy is. All those memes, books and audios on finding your true soulmate have begun to confuse me, how she should look, how old she should be, what sexual predications she prefers, does she have or want children, etc., etc. etc.
I make chai at a dance called Mojo, The Dance of Connection, It is a truly sacred place where most of the angst that society attaches to intimacy disappears over the duration of the night. One night I looked out over the dancefloor late into the night, and a sense of sadness came across me because I realised that over 50 per cent of these beautiful souls would go home alone. The expression Sacred Love Letters passed through me. I had no idea what that meant.
Over the next two weeks, I had many thoughts to what it could mean. This is what I came up with. Here we go: As we get older we are trained to not share our intimate moments, being told that it is not safe to reveal our greatest secrets. What does this lead to: Three facts, the divorce rate, average length of relationships 18 to 25: six months and the proliferation of dating apps with their dick picture postings.
So this workshop idea came through, its called The Sacred Love Stories workshop and the premise is that for each chakra you tell your, “If they ever knew that about me, they would never talk to me again story as well as your: Yes I actually did this, and I am not boasting story”. The premise is in doing it with people you might not know as well as your intimate beloved people there will be not as much as a charge and it will move you down the path to doing it with your beloveds.
I have not had the gonads to actually run it yet, but have a list of people I have to contact when I do. Its very close.
So what does society say about intimacy? There are lots of beautiful quotes on the subject, here are some of my favourites:
1. I recently discovered that the person I hold in my heart does not feel the same way, surprisingly, in letting her go, I had the most erotic dance with her I have ever had in my life on Saturday night.
2. Would you get an A-plus or an F: Hold My Hand.
3. This is what I did the first night I put the women I mentioned in my heart.
4. So who of my readers have heard of the 70’s group the Seekers: A World of our Own.
5. Can’t read the authors name, but more Eye Gazing.
6. Kiara was born in Barquisimeto, Venezuela. She took her first steps into the entertainment world when she joined her school choir but, because of her distinctive, powerful voice, the rest of the members didn’t feel she blended in well and wasn’t allowed to stay in their musical ensemble. Seven best selling albums later, she sort of proved them wrong: Liberame.
7. Jim Carrey, Fear and Love, Google It.
8. Mazlo missed this one: All of Me.
9. One day we meet the one we never get over and then we know why all the others did not work out.
10. You look across the room, and their weird says, Thank god I finally found you, game over: Sweet but Psycho.
11. I love the saying it’s easy to get a kiss, not that hard to have sex, but finding the one who touches your heart and warms your soul, that’s hard shit.
12. Rollo Reese May was an American existential psychologist and author of the influential book Love and Will (1969). He is often associated with humanistic psychology, existentialist philosophy and, alongside Viktor Frankl, was a major proponent of existential psychotherapy: Hope.
13. Sometimes its not about the jiggy thing.
14. Break down the wall that prevents you from having intimacy in your life: The Mystical Power of Intimate Relationships.
15. And for our final lesson, a reminder that the intimacy must begin with ourselves.
So my breakthrough has come by being curious about it and checking with my heart, and not the memories in my head of my past failures. Would you like to be added to the Workshop waiting list? I promise it will happen this year.
Today’s playlist covers 5 decades and three countries. It begins with the County superstar, Jess Glynne. Then a blast from the past, the most popular 70’s Aussie band, The Seekers. We cross the ocean to Venezuela to hear Kiara. The smooth John Legend follows, then the quirky Ava Max. Pop diva Natasha Bedingfield sings a song of Hope and we finish with some spoken word from Marianne Williamson:Intimacy Into me See
As well as intimacy in my life I also wish for the community paradigm to be Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until we meet again my dear friends.