“I love, accept, and express that I fill myself first so I can heal the world.”  This is the affirmation Steve Sisgold of Whole Body Intelligence,His website got Lissa Rankin to use when she realised her belief system was the following: “You’re selfish and narcisstic if you take care of yourself first. You have no value unless you’re helping others. Your blog audience won’t love you anymore unless you give until you’re depleted. Your mother won’t love you anymore, either.”

This made my stomach turn as I was reading the secind statement, I think it covers some of my beliefs pretty well. Here is the Hero’s practice called Check Your Motives from Lissa’s book an Anatomy of a Calling:

Check Your Motives:

The next time you consider being helpful ir saying yes to service, pause. Get quiet, and ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” Are you afraid of disappointing someone if you say no? Are you motivated by pity or fear? Will you fear like, “not enough” if you don’t do  it? Are you trying to impress someone? Does it exhaust you to even think about saying yes? If any of these feel true, graciously say no to the opportunity to serve, knowing that you are not just filling yourself first but also protecting yourself from getting caught in a Rescuer/Victim/Persecutor triad, which will lead you to inadvertantly hurt yourself and others.

If, however, you are motivated by surges of love – which generate the impulse to leap out of your chair and say yes, free of any hidden language – go for it! If you’re so far down the spiritual path that there is little “self” to self-sacrifice and you are full to the brim with the desire fir pure service, knowing how fulfilling it is to serve in a clean way, say yes.

Practice this exercise every time you are inclined to serve. This will help you learn to be very discerning about your relationship to service and those you serve, and as a result, you will not only avoid depleting yourself but also expand your capacity for fulfillment and joy.

So how does the world relate to filling ones self up before others, It should be an  interesting journey:

1. Once you are a bunch of smouldering ashes you are not much use to anyone.

2. It’s never to late to write your bestseller, that one you don’t tell others about: Your Song.

3. This is the number one way to stoppbecoming depleted in your life.

4. The more energy you have and that you shine on the world the more you can give to it: I Gotta Feeling.

5. The more you hide who you really are, the more harm can be done to you and by you.

6. From one of TV”s favourite fictional characters comes some practical wisdom about filling yourself first: Love Myself.

7. Ask yourself before you say Yes, What would Love Do in this situation?

8. Heed the warming, rehydrate your soul when it needs it: Take care of Yourself.

9. Manifexting with Marla, catchy name for a great piece of advice.

10. Deepak’s friend Oprah has this to say about this , in a much more pragmatic way: When you undervalue what you do, the world will undervalue who you are:Give it UP to Me.

11. Remember, to help with human rights, yours must be included amongst them.

12. Might fine advice, R.Z., will help keep one out of the Rescuer/Victim/Persecutor triad: Put a little Love in your Heart.

13. Remember to complete your Hero’s Journey, not everyone or everything will make ot to the end.

14. Here in Australia, we have a condition called the tall poppy syndrome. It’s very dangerous for the future of our country: That’s What I Like.

15. That deep satisfaction has to exist within your soul before there is any chance of another giving it to you.

When you’re motivated by the soul’s yearning rather than the ego’s “not enoughness” giving to others feeds you. Service can be like breathing. You give on the exhale, but the giving itself breathers life into you and you are nourished by the giving. So remember to do the exercise so that you are chosing from love and not depleting your life-force.

Music this week includes Annie Lennox, Al Green and Shakita. Enjoy!!

Namaste until next time , my dear friends