How do you fill the gap left?

I was having trouble getting over a recent love affair so began reading about breakups. I found this really good blog in it titled: Losing the Love of Your Life: What to do when you lose the one by Natasha Adamo Here are the first four paragraphs of it, it explained it very well.

Losing the love of your life makes you realize that love can truly be a double-edged sword. It can make us feel so uniquely connected to the world and fill our hearts so they are overflowing. It can also slash our hearts to shreds, leaving painful emotion seeping out for a long time to come.

And one of the most painful places to be in is the one where you feel regret, guilt, and pain for losing someone you see as too much of a loss to recover from. The one who was there for you, loved you, and did the “thick and thin” thing because they believed in you. But now they are gone.

Losing the love of your life and actually realizing it can take some time to surface. There is pain on both sides when a breakup occurs. A time of healing. A time when moving on begins and life slowly becomes happier. The pain subsides, and you reflect on the lessons you learned and seek new love.

There are also times when this doesn’t happen. Where you find yourself thinking of someone every day.  Losing the love of your life is painful. You feel heavy with guilt, and regret lives in your gut. It is often at this point you question yourself, and think that this person you lost, has left a hole in your life that can never be filled.

I keep going between the two and feel I am leaning towards the former at the moment although there are days when the latter takes over. So how does society advise you to fill that hole when it sticks around, lets have a look, some are harsh:

1. Actually a phone call made to find out what groceries were needed.

2. We were in COVID .pandemic lock-down times so Zoom was a godsend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqMl5CRoFdk

3. Still pondering a lot of the time, getting better though.

4. Pretty close to the truth, it goes away eventually with taking other actions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm9Zf1WYQ_A&list=PL3-sRm8xAzY-v_i64uZfriFSPYHnQd8Vl&index=4

5. I don’t fully understand this quote.

6. This is the hole that can be never filled time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk4BbF7B29w

7. Makes me think of Deborah Harry’s Broken Glass.

8. I regret that I did this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sptQj1MPIwg

9. But time has come to realize you must move on.

10. On 22 December 2016, Coelho was listed by UK-based company Richtopia at number 2 in the list of 200 most influential contemporary authors: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzM71scYw0M

11. That’s OK until the heart meets someone again.

12. Strength or wisdom, which gets you through the day better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woOJRsXMQ5g

13. Do not let the shadows of your past darken the doorstep of your future, forgive and forget.

14. When things break badly, it is hard to repair them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5e8C1nhe_s

.

15. And for the final lesson, an ultimate check list.

Are breaking up and letting go the same thing, both have nothing to do with weakness, the latter more to do with strength. Here are 12 things worth knowing as you wander this path.

  1. The past can steal your present if you let it.
  2. Not everyone, and not everything is meant to stay.
  3. Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.
  4. Sometimes you just need to do your best and surrender the rest.
  5. You are control of only one person: yourself.
  6. What’s right for you may be wrong for others, and vice versa.
  7. Some people will refuse to accept you for who you are.
  8. Relationships can only exist on a steady foundation of truth.
  9. The world changes when you change.
  10. You can make decisions, or you can make excuses.
  11. It usually takes just a few negative remark’s to kill a person’s dreams.
  12. Sometimes walking away is the only way to win.

Today’s playlist contains three classic sixties bands, two pop diva’s and two relatively unknowns: We begin with Early Stones, then Billy Ellish and Adele. Back to the Sixties for the Doors and The Walker Brothers. Then my two unknowns, the first has less than 1,000 YouTube hits, a rarity: Raven and we finish with the Struts: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrv2CMFf0MRxXaKqX5rg-2xG

You/I are responsible for our own happiness, no one else. You/I are responsible for our behavior, no one else. If you are not seeing the things in life that you want, look at yourself. What are you afraid of? Self-sabotage is when you pike at the last moment, afraid of what lies ahead (even if it’s good for you).

So you can be afraid of the gap, torn apart by the gap or learn to be courageous and jump the gap and move forward. The latter will bring you closer to Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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