What’s wrong with You?

Always I have been told I suffer from depression, and recently that is what they said when I entered a psych unit for the sixth time during COVID lock down. I then met a beautiful woman who suggested I see her therapist which I eventually did. He asked me a lot of questions, one being about my work history before my first breakdown. My dark secret is that I worked for the Governmental Social Security aka Centrelink for 13 years.

My heart had been telling me to leave for the last three years of this time which I did not take notice of, therefore my mental health went down and I was eventually dismissed never to work again. The psychologist asked me had I seen any violence during this time and for some reason I told him about the three stabbing I had seen over this time, I used to joke at parties that I was probably the only person in the room who had seen this many if any.

He instantly suggested that I was probably suffering from UN-diagnosed PTSD, AKA post-traumatic stress disorder. I also explained that violence was just a way of life over the years at Centrelink. It actually made a lot of sense for me after he explained the background of it.That people were not used to seeing so much violence in their lives but many remained untreated.

So PTSD, how have we discussed it over the years, does society want to disown it, lets have a look:

1. Over time , I have suffered all of these.

2. As I said, over 13 years it just became normal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYcp1bUb4lU

3. I don’t remember the images of my dreams. more the emotions.

4. This is when we need others and treatment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmLNs6zQIHo

5. A definition for you.

6. Actually 28 live giving statements: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Vv-BfVoq4g

7. Warts, Wisdom and All – with Courage.

8. What I did with the actual trauma, made it delusional: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWlUb-CaRmU

9. I recognise many of these statements.

10. And eventually this is what I did: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LVW95Mxv6k

11. These are the bad days and nights.

12. Or a boy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRauptdx_Is

13. I totally agree that it is a journey.

14. And these are the people it most affects, those we send to kill in our name: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWXazVhlyxQ

15. And for our final lesson the magnificent Maya Angelou.

If you want to move onto better things, you have to give up what’s weighing you down – which is always not as obvious and easy as it sounds. Here are a few things, starting today , that would help.

  1. Letting the opinions of others control your life.
  2. The shame of past failures.
  3. Being indecisive about what you want.
  4. Procrastinating on the goals that matter to you.
  5. Choosing to do nothing.
  6. Your need to be right.
  7. Running from problems that should be fixed.
  8. Making excuses rather than decisions.
  9. Overlooking the positive points in your life.
  10. Not appreciating the present moment.

Today’s play list contains my favourite rock anthem, guess which one: Hazel English starts us off, then we have Birdy. Our most popular artist is next with Ed Sheeran. Three unknowns to me: Simon Curtis, The Staves and Vicetone before we finish with Rage against the Machine: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlQ3F9bKYrtNtJi6c4a1C-GmoQxqCd75

So we send people into areas of work where PTSD is prevalent, do we do enough for them, the evidence would not suggest this. I call for more Love and respect for All, Everybody Included in our health system. Until next time, my dear friends.

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