Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included!!!


Today I write about my Why: it’s expressed in the title of this blog. I write all of these blogs at the Darebin Intercultural Centre in Preston Australia a placed that healed me after six years of a mental health crisis that included six psych unit hospitalisations totalling a period of six and a half months, my advice, never let this happen to you.

In our brochure our ethos is explained, it is as follows “Where difference is acknowledged, explored, understood and celebrated. Darebin Intercultural Centre aims to foster respectful and constructive interracial, intercultural and interfaith relations between and amongst people who live, work or play in Darebin. The Centre is a dedicated space for Intercultural development, dialogue, engagement, participation and celebration.”

How did I end up here? After working for Centrelink, a government agency who deals with the unemployed, the disabled and the elderly, read the people who others want to forget exist for 14 years I ended up being dismissed never to work again after being Manager of the most chaotic Newstart section in Melbourne ending my career doing filing because I did not listen to what my heart and body were saying to me, which was, Get the Fuck out.

I spent about two years lying around my flat believing what they had said when I saw an ad in the local newspaper: Free Colombian film night. I was drawn to this as South America is one place that is on my bucket list. I fought against my social anxiety and went to the Darebin Intercultural Centre for the film.

When I arrived there was an incredibly diverse crowd of cultures just hanging out together being friends. It spoke to my heart and to this day I do not know what gave me the courage to ask the manager Inaam did they need any volunteers. I do not know why she replied yes, as they had never had any before.

Over the following five years I have done many things and at the moment being an English tutor three days a week, my dear old dad, if he was alive would be very proud because he always wanted me to follow in his footsteps as a teacher up until the day I was expelled at the end of Year 11 for non attendance as I hated the formal school system.

I feel that my friend Marc Chernoff’s list called 10 Actions That Always Bring Happiness speaks to my joy of being involved with the Centre:

1. Appreciate how much you have.

2. Focus on things that really matter.

3. Define your own meaning in life, and pursue it.

4. Embrace life’s challenges.

5. Find the balance that allows you to be who you truly are.

6. Love your body enough to take care of it.

7. Limit your time with negative people.

8. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

9. Set a good example.

10. Accept what is, and live for the possibilities that lie ahead.

I chose to learn about new cultures as the way of empowering my intercultural journey, but what does the planet say about it:

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1. No words really needed.

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2. Travel is a great way to discover new cultures. Be careful you may fall in love with one, and never leave: Greece – The Best Love Song.

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3. You have to open your eyes to let love in.

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4. Live your life to the full, A Ho: Loving Life.

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5. In December there is something to celebrate every day, not just Christmas. My favourite is December 30th: National Bicarbonate of Soda Day.

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6. This is why I love our Centre, I am always learning new ways of these things being expressed: Where Is The Love.

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7. Vironika Tugaleva is an award-winning author, poet, spoken word artist, life coach, wanderer, visual artist, vocalist, and seeker of beauty in all its forms.

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8. I don’t always agree with Ayn Rand but this hits home: Life is Worth Living.

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9. Exercise your compassion for others and their diverse cultures and build up your wing strength.

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10. Strange a right-wing conservative came up with this: I was Here.

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11. From the most famous of philosophers, Ms Unknown comes this power quote on the beauty of Interculturalism.

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12. Abdel-Fattah studied a Bachelor of Arts and Bachelor of Law at the University of Melbourne. During this time, she was the Media Liaison Officer at the Islamic Council of Victoria, a role that afforded her the opportunity to write for newspapers and engage with media institutions about their representation of Muslims and Islam. She completed her PhD on Islamaphobia. Abdel-Fattah was a passionate human rights advocate and stood in the 1998 federal election as a member of the Unity Party (slogan: Say No to Pauline Hanson). I Don’t Like It.

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13. Spiritualism explained really well.

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14. From the man who refused to cut the Arts budget to fund a war, here is another on the importance of art and culture: Beasts of No Nation.

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15, For our final lesson, what are we up to with our addiction to learning from Social media and not libraries.

If you want to empower others in your life. you need to start living the most empowered version of your self first, that is why finding your why in life is so important. You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream, I’m 65. Believe in what you want so much that it has no choice but to become your reality. And don’t ever compare yourself to anyone else; stay focused on your own journey and leave footprints behind. My blog has left footprints in 104 countries across the planet, I find this amazing.

I have fulfilled a dream today in the playlist, I got to include a Fela Kuti song. We begin with a love song to Greece, Our unknown artist at 57,000 likes is a fine voice from Lysa. The Black Eyed Peas do that song next. Back to modern times with Justin Bieber and Beyonce. Some Aussie edification with the satiricalness of Pauline Pantsdown and we complete with my dream track from Fela Kuti: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included.

So this is the joyfulness and one of the loves of my life, The Darebin Intercultural Centre where I was gifted my Why one afternoon sitting at my desk: Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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The Heart wants What It Wants!!!


Another thing I have got out of Awakening Connections is the ability to feel the love being directed at me. I was at Mojo – The Dance of Connection on Saturday night for my crewing role as chai maker extraordinaire, and it felt different. There were people, particularly women who have been coming for ages who kept hugging me and kissing me at the end of a dance, some I even kissed back. I have taken on a practice to allow this love in, reciting some mantras from my friends Marc and Angel Chernoff through a practice we call Dragonspeak in the Warriors of Love, my go-to 12-month training program to empower the lifeforce that runs through each of us: Some WOL info.

The mantras are as follows, they help me love people, not judge them or ignore them:

1. The most beautiful thing is to see a person nearby smiling. And even more beautiful is knowing you are the reason behind it.

2. If I have the power to make someone happier today, do it. The world needs more of that.

3. Some people build lots of walls in their lives and . not enough bridges. There’s no good reason to be one of them. Open me up. Take small chances on people.

4. Never stop doing little things for those around me. Sometimes these little things occupy the biggest parts of their hearts.

5. Too often I underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of love – all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

6. Be present, Be thoughtful. Compliment people. Magnify their strengths, not their weaknesses. This is how to make a real and lasting difference in my relationships, new and old.

7. I don’t always need to give advice. Sometimes all people need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand.

8. Today, just be 100 per cent present with those around me – be all there. That is enough.

9. There’s no such thing as “self-made”. Someone else believed in me. Someone also encouraged me. Someone else invested in me. Someone else prayed for you. Someone else spoke life over me. I will be that someone for others too.

10. It’s practically impossible to love my neighbours if I don’t know them, and yet that’s oftentimes the case. I live in such a hyper-connected world with such limited or nonexistent connection. Remember this: Relationships matter. Stories matter.

11. In human relationships, distance is not measured in kilometres but in affection. Two people can be right next to each other yet miles apart.

12. Stay in touch with those who truly matter to me – not because it’s inconvenient, but because they’re worth the extra effort.

13. The single greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. Too often we don’t listen to understand, we listen to reply. Bring awareness to this. And listen for what’s truly behind the words.

14. Set an example. Treat everyone with respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are always nice, but because I am ( And do my best to be thankful for the rude and difficult people too, they serve as great reminders of how not to be.)

15. Sometimes it is better to be kind than right.

16. People are much nicer when they are happier, which says a lot about those who aren’t very nice to you. Sad, but true.

17. The real test comes when I don’t get what I expect from people. Will I react in anger? Or will calmness be my superpower?

18. The way I trust people  I don’t understand is a report card on what I’ve learnt about love, compassion, and kindness.

19. Be kinder than necessary. What goes around comes around. No one has ever made themselves strong by showing how small someone else is.

20. The best relationships are not just about the good times I share, They are about the obstacles we got through together and the fact that I still say “I Love You” in the end.

So how does the world talk about love, here are a few of my favourite things:

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1. A required part of the recipe of life.

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2. Not always loved by her critics, great people always seem to have them, the people of the slums idolised her: Is This Love.

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3. Simply, Boom!!!

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4. From the world’s best-known philosopher, Ms Unknown comes some worldly advice about the importance of self-love: Lose Yourself.

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5. These are the people who showed up when your soul said to you, find the others.

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6. One of the founders of the Black Panther movement who after exile returned to the States to become a conservative Republican and Christian, Eldridge travelled an extreme journey to discover love in his life: Blowing In The Wind.

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7. Don’t look in your logical mind for love, it’s your like zone.

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8. The area of life that blows away Simon Senik’s statement you have to know your why: To Love Somebody.

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9. It’s in both your DNA’s.

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10. And she: Born To Be Yours.

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11. Sage advice from the writer of many a great love song over her long career.

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12. Working on both these areas in my life: The Climb.

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13. Remember to keep an eye out for this.

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14. Yep to this: A Song For You.

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15. For our final lesson, a short sermon on how to let love in.

So lets address loving those offensive people we find so hard to love. Marc has a trick: Mentally hug them and wish them better days. We can have compassion for this broken person because we all have been broken and in some pain at some point too. We’re the same in many ways. Sometimes we need a hug, some extra compassion, and a little unexpected love.

Our playlist today begins with Bob Marley, the king of Love in my humble opinion. The rapping out with Eminem. Some folk from Peter, Paul and Mary follows. From the same era comes The Bee Gees. We come forward to Kygo and the imagine Dragons and Miley Cyrus and complete with the soulful tones of Donny Hathaway: The Heart Wants What It Wants,

Letting love in and expressing it outwardly will certainly support my life’s ethos of Love and Respect for All, Everyone Included. Remember you can sign up to receive these blogs in your inbox on the right-hand side of my main page. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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You Are Not Alone In This!!!


I went to a local council meeting today to support a group who had been defunded, there was a lot of anger in the room. One group called the other racist for doing it, and there were allegations flying everywhere. I left as it did not seem to be serving many purposes, the decision to not defund them was watered down to a prissy offering of looking at other means of funding them. So it appears they must use the energy of their anger to fight the next battle.

So anger, what is its purpose and is it very useful in today’s world? Marc Chernoff writes about it as follows:

WHEN SOMEONE UPSETS us, It’s often because they aren’t behaving according to our fantasy of how they “should” behave. The frustration, then, stems not from their behaviour differs from our expectations. This is a moment for looking within.

You can’t control how other people behave. You can’t control everything that happens to you. What you can control is how you respond to it all. Your power lies in your response. Let’s practice together…

  1. Get comfortable with pausing.
  2. Respect people’s differences.
  3. Be compassionate
  4. Extend generosity and grace.
  5. Don’t take people’s behaviour personally.
  6. Talk less and learn to appreciate silence.
  7. Create a morning ritual that starts your day off right.
  8. Cope using healthy choices and alternatives
  9. Remind yourself of what’s right, and create more of it in the world.

What has the world written about the power that Anger has over us, here are a few of my favourites:

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1. I wouldn’t suggest telling someone they are being stupid if they make you angry, that would mean there would then be two angry people in the room.

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2. Known for his satirical wit and sardonic view of human nature, Ambrose Bierce earned the nickname “Bitter Bierce.” His mocking cynicism is on full display in The Devil’s Dictionary, a work that originally appeared under the title The Cynic’s Word Book. … As a short story writer, Bierce gave us many treasures: No Regrets.

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3. Ralph points out simple homegrown logic in a lot of his quotes, check out this classic.

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4. They say it is better to reclaim the anger than have it reclaim us by being blurted out all of a sudden: Just Give Me a Reason.

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5. In the development work I do, we speak of the immature feminine and masculine, and the mature feminine and masculine. Guess in which fields an insecure personality would hang around in?

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6. Anger doesn’t tend to hang around in the field of contentment: Going Through Changes.

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7. The cardigan-wearing one points out what lies within when we are angry.

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8. From the 16th Century, noted English poet Alexander Pope talks about anger being revenge on oneself: Smells Like Teen Spirit.

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9. Duck!!!

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10. Not a good anxiety practice, going to bed angry: Fight for the Right.

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11. Fark!!!!

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12. From the man who found enlightenment under the Bodhi tree, why holding onto anger is so toxic: Burning Down The House.

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13. Commonly known as a foot in mouth disease.

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14. It’s the old one finger pointing forward, three backwards routine: Lithium.

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15. The final lesson is that anger is just as important to deal with as all the other things we feel.

Everybody gets upset and loses their temper sometimes. Remind yourself that we are all more alike than we are different. When you catch yourself being angry with someone, add “just like me sometimes” Choose to let things go. Let others off the hook. Take the high road today.

Today’s playlist is anthem clad. From the 60s we begin with The Walker Brothers followed by some angst from Pink. My favourite white rapper Eminem is next, then the first of two Nirvana entries. A unique version of The Beastie Boys biggest hit will test your mettle. Talking Heads second last then back to Nirvana to finish off this great rocking playlist: You are not alone in This.

So the world does not say anger is bad all the time, I believe I need some to get my ethos, Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included to triumph over the current world conversation. Remember if you like these blogs of mine sign up to have them in your inbox on the day of creation. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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It Can Struggle, But the Bond Cannot Be Broken!!!


Today, I am writing about how I often feel when I am in the presence of love directed towards me. What do you think the first line of the above quote I chose for the title of this blog was? It was about a version of love never failing the test. Yes, it was Unconditional Love, and through the experience of my identity, I know I have struggled with this over the years. Researching this I came across a great article on the matter: called Soulmates and Unconditional Love in a journal called PyschCentral by Darlene Lancer, here are the guts of it:

Are you searching for a soulmate or unconditional love? Your quest can set you on an impossible journey to find an ideal partner. The problem is twofold: People and relationships can never achieve perfection. Often unconditional and conditional love are confused.

Usually, we yearn for unconditional love because we didn’t receive it in childhood and fail to give it to ourselves. Of all relationships, parental love, particularly maternal love, is the most enduring form of unconditional love. (In prior generations, paternal love was thought of as conditional.) But in fact, most parents withdraw their love when they’re overstressed or when their children misbehave. To a child, even timeouts can feel like emotional abandonment. Thus, rightly or wrongly, most parents at times only love their children conditionally.

Is Unconditional Love Possible?

Unlike romantic love, unconditional love does not seek pleasure or gratification. Unconditional love is more a state of receptivity and allowing, which arises from our own “basic goodness,” says Trungpa Rimpoche. It’s the total acceptance of someone — powerful energy emanating from the heart.

Love that is unconditional transcends time, place, behaviour, and worldly concerns. We don’t decide who we love, and sometimes don’t know why. The motives and reasons of the heart are unfathomable, writes Carson McCullers:

The most outlandish people can be the stimulus for love. . . The preacher may love a fallen woman. The beloved may be treacherous, greasy-headed, and given to evil habits. Yes, and the lover may see this as clearly as anyone else — but that does not affect the evolution of his love one whit. ~ The Ballad of the Sad Café (2005), p. 26

McCullers explains that most of us prefer to love than be loved:

. . . the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself. It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. ~ ibid

Ideally, the giving and receiving of unconditional love is a unitary experience. Couples experience this most frequently when falling in love. It also happens when someone fearlessly opens up to us in an intimate setting. It’s a being-to-being recognition of that which is unconditional in each of us, our humanity, as if to lovingly say, “Namaste,” meaning: “The God (or divine consciousness) within me salutes the God within you.” When we delight in another’s being-ness, boundaries may dissolve in what feels like a spiritual experience. This allows energy to flow into places of resistance that surround our heart and can be deeply healing. It can happen during moments of vulnerability during therapy.

Yet, inevitably, these occurrences don’t last, and we return to our ordinary ego state — our conditioned self. We all have our preferences, idiosyncrasies, and particular tastes and needs, which have been conditioned by our upbringing, religion, society, and experiences. We also have limits about what we will and won’t accept in a relationship. When we love conditionally, it’s because we approve of our partner’s beliefs, needs, desires, and lifestyle. They match up with ours and give us comfort, companionship, and pleasure.

We’re fortunate to meet someone we can love conditionally and, at times, unconditionally. The combination of both forms of love in one relationship makes our attraction intense. It’s the closest we come to finding a soulmate.

How has humanity related to unconditional love over the decades, here are some ways they have taken a cut at it:

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1. Rev. Melony McGant aka Miss Mellie Rainbow is a storyteller, thought-leader, humanist, poet, & compassionate communications professional with more than 30 years experience in helping people find love. How my Essence must be flowing I feel for love of another to be present.

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2. As said in this quote it is a daily journey towards it: We Need Love.

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3. There are no Google entries for Akashwani, there should be just because of this quote.

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4. Oops, they got it wrong: Skin.

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5. The King Dick Gregory is talking about is Martin Luther King Jnr.

During the turbulent 1960s, Gregory became a pioneer in stand-up comedy for his “no-holds-barred” sets, in which he mocked bigotry and racism. He performed primarily to black audiences at segregated clubs until 1961, when he became the first black comedian to successfully cross over to white audiences, appearing on television and putting out comedy record albums.

Gregory was at the forefront of political activism in the 1960s, when he protested the Vietnam War and racial injustice. He was arrested multiple times and went on many hunger strikes. He later became a speaker and author, primarily promoting spirituality.

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6. You must have the strength in all situations, even the shitty ones: The Greatest Love of All.

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7. The scientific explanation of why love is not based on looks.

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8. Dedicated, Caring, Disciplined, Wise, Precise, Power-full, Committed and Cheeky are words often used to describe Tanya Curtis. She is the Founder and Managing Director of Fabic Behaviour Specialist Centre and Co-Founder and Managing Director of Sunlight Ink Publishing. Tanya is also an award-winning Business Woman, Behaviour Specialist, Teacher, Course Writer, Presenter, Author, DVD Presenter, App Creator, Product Developer, Mentor and Student Supervisor: Who You Are.

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9. Bliss in Love equals acceptance of both the Shadow and the Light.

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10. The times I have fallen in love have always been in spite of all the stories I tell myself why it won’t work out: Sing for My Life.

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11. I think the two words at the bottom, self-acceptance sum it up pretty damn well!!

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12. I can hardly see without my glasses at times, but I do see and agree with this: Superficial Love.

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13. If the future Buddha says it, I’m in.

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14. All or None: Love ‘Em All

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15. And for the final lesson, a four-word mantra you must never forget in the game of love.

Opening the Heart

Unconditional love isn’t a high ideal we need to achieve. Actually, striving after it removes us from the experience. It’s always present as the unconditioned part of us — our “pure, primordial presence,” writes Buddhist psychologist John Welwood. He believes that we can glimpse it through mindfulness meditation. By observing our breath, we become more present and can appreciate our basic goodness. In mediation and in therapy, we find those places we choose to hide from ourselves and others.

Relationships can provide a path to opening the frozen places in our hearts. Love can melt a closed heart. However, maintaining that openness demands courage. The struggle for intimacy challenges us to continually reveal ourselves. Just when we’re tempted to judge, attack, or withdraw, we open to our hurt and that of our partner. In doing so, we discover what we’re hiding, and triggers from our past yield opportunities to heal and embrace more of ourselves.

The playlist today is chock full of pop divas singing about love. The only male starts off, John Legend doing one of his soulful numbers, then six divas: We begin with Rihanna, go back a few decades to Whitney Houston. Then hang around this century with Jessie J., Sia, Ruth B. and finish with K. Michelle: It Can Struggle but the Bond Cannot Be Broken.

if you wish to read my blog on a regular basis remember to sign up on the list with your email address. Love is a great subject for Love and Respect for All Everybody Included to manifest through. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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Everyone Has Oceans to Fly!!


How do you know the difference between your preferences and your boundaries? I am doing this amazing online public speaking course called RISE with Fleassy Malay, it is the top 5 courses I have ever done, and I have done a lot over the years: Enter Fleassy’s World. and she points out that we often mix the two up, preferences become boundaries and boundaries become preferences. How do they differ, let’s look at their definitions:

Preference is defined as:

the fact that you like something or someone more than another thing or person:

Her preference is for comfort rather than stylish clothes.
I have a preference for sweet food over spicy.
Choosing furniture is largely a matter of personal preference.
It would be wrong to discriminate against a candidate because of their sexual preference (= the sex of the people they are sexually attracted to).

an advantage that is given to a person or a group of people:

We give preference to those who have worked with us for a long time.
Special preferences were offered initially to encourage investment.
Boundaries are defined as:
Like physical boundaries, emotional boundaries define separateness. Your emotional boundaries are the property lines that separate your thoughts and feelings from those of other people.
To me, preferences live in the realms of the examples above and boundaries are those gut feelings that much our stomach churn when we know they are not being respected or people have just walked through them.
So what does our society have to say about boundaries, there were some quite different expressions of it when I looked.
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1. Unlimited giving is a surefire recipe for health problems to emerge.

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2. Remember the age-old formulae: You are the result of the five people you spend the most time with, choose wisely: Get Up, Stand Up.

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3. Lamott has described why she writes: I try to write the books I would love to come upon, that are honest, concerned with real lives, human hearts, spiritual transformation, families, secrets, wonder, craziness—and that can make me laugh. When I am reading a book like this, I feel rich and profoundly relieved to be in the presence of someone who will share the truth with me, and throw the lights on a little, and I try to write these kinds of books. Books, for me, are medicine.

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4. You may lose some of your peeps when you put them in place, and who they are may surprise you: Brene’s take on it.

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5. Boundaries bring out people’s real nature.

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6. Have clarity when you set them, and then stand by them as if you are defending your child’s life: No Need to Argue.

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7. Boundaries actually increase your ability to give over time.

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8. You have to wake up with you in the morning, so make sure the respect is there: Respect.

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9. Teach the people in your life, or they will make it up how they relate to you.

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10. If how you relate to people crosses more than the one on one relationship you have some work to do: Crossing Boundaries.

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11. Today’s boundaries are how you live your life.

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12. Don’t accept an invitation if it crosses your boundaries, as said above no is a complete sentence: Ball and Chain.

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13. But always remember there are times your boundaries need to be fluid.

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14. Brene: Boundaries equals being courageous: Perfect.

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15. Our final lesson comes from the great Persian poet, Rumi. Have boundaries but remember to remain curious.

As we travel along our timeline some preferences may become boundaries and boundaries preferences. that is the joy of being human, each moment is a new experience allowing us to chose to grow or diminish. It’s up to Us, Because We Can, It’s our Time.

The Playlist honours some extremely powerful divas today. We begin with the only male, Bob Marley. The spoken word is next from Brene Brown. The sultry voice of the lead singer of The Cranberries is next followed by the powerful vocals of Aretha Franklin. Then a mini discovery in Mina AlAli. One of the great performances from the ’60s is next by Janis Joplin and we close with Pink: Everyone Has Oceans To Fly.

I don’t really like the other types of boundaries, I am fighting them as hard as possible to ensconce my world paradigm of Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. Until next we meet, my dear friends.

Earth Tribe

 

 

My Story Matters because I Matter!!


Have you seen it, I’ve watched it five times, etc. etc.. I’m talking about the latest Netflix sensation, Brene Brown’s special The Call to Courage. I’ve watched it once but have viewed everything on Youtube several times over the years. The title of this blog is one of her quotes, and when her last book Dare to Lead was released I pre-ordered it three times by mistake, my two friends I gifted it to were rapt.

I have read every book she has written at least twice because she is a great writer and makes it easy to receive many aha moments per page. Let’s list them:

  1. The Gifts of Imperfection.
  2. Daring Greatly.
  3. I Thought It Was Just Me: But It Isn’t.
  4. Rising Strong.
  5. Rising Strong As A Spiritual Practice.
  6. The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting.
  7. The Power of Vulnerability.
  8. Braving The Wilderness.
  9. Connections Curriculum – 12 Sessions.
  10. Dare To Lead – Brave Work.
  11. Women and Shame, Reaching Out.

 

Oops,  I have not read them all after seeing the list, two to go. I put Brene Brown quotes in Ecosia Images, I use Ecosia search engine ILO Google because of the fact they plant a tree for each click, and there were hundreds, it’s like all of her words are a quote that can transform your life. These are the ones I have chosen, It’s time for some Brene bliss:

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1. These days of the online world, they are called Trolls.

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2. And the booby prize is …: Perfectionist Complex.

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3. Don’t forget the little things, remember to stop and smell the Roses.

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4. If you only do what you know what you feel safe doing, the word boring comes to mind. Time to step up to mistake land: Another Lifetime.

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5. Happy, Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, Joy.

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6. My marketing mentor laughed at me when I said I could do research for everybody. Andrew said, what about working with people you like working with, find the others: They must deserve It.

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7. We are not Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, at the base of it all, we are all human.

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8. Shadow and Light travel together, attempting to ignore the shadow is pure bullshit, the pain will remain and return tenfold until you are willing to deal with it: Growing Pains.

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9. For me, it lives in the realm of what we don’t know we don’t know.

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10. Kur-it. This is why my English students often stare at me with strange looks when I pronounce words for them: Reach Out.

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11. Repeat after me, I am Enough. Repeat after me, I am Enough, etc. etc…

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12. And at the base of it all, there is Love: Love Myself.

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13. How do you respond when a beloved shares their life with you?

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14. To be totally balanced in our bodies, we need to feel it all: Comfortably Numb.

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15. And fro Brene’s final lesson, it’s a long one and a doozy. If all you get is the aha moment from this one then Brene has done her job.

My top three: Daring Greatly, Rising Strong and Dare to Lead. It is also worth checking out her website, her free resources are awesome: Access to all Things Brene.

The playlist begins with two newbies to me, Jubyphonic and Nao. The spoken word has of course to be Brene, that’s next. Pop diva Alessia Cara follows and then we go way back to The Four Tops. Then my favourite Self Love song from Hailee Steinfeld and Pink Floyd close the set: My Story Matters Because I Matter.

So that’s my love letter to Brene Brown. She would be a fan of my lifetime paradigm: Love and Respect for All: Everybody Included. Until next time we meet, my dear friends.

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Be So Good They Can’t Ignore You.


I crew on three drug and alcohol-free dances within our community so ever rarely come across toxic drug and alcohol abuse spaces. I attended one on Saturday night as I had been invited by a DJ friend of mine, Mickey Space to attend his birthday gathering at a place called Horse Bazaar. It was like a return to my dark secret past. This was the venue my wildest girlfriend and I used to attend to dance after taking Acid or Ecstasy over a two year period every Saturday night 15 years ago. I never thought I would return there.

Mickey plays great music, so I was enjoying the dance when this rather drunken, amazingly beautiful young women, most of them are young when you are 64, came up to me and said, “You are too transparent, you’re not allowed to be that transparent, it’s unfair.”  I told her I was a Dancing Eros sister, an ISTA graduate and a Warrior of Love. I sat her down and showed her the Dancing Eros homepage, and said look it up when you are sober: Access to Dancing Eros.

What would life be like if we were all as transparent with each other as I was that scared the bejesus out of this young woman? I am an empath so often feel the effect we have on each other. Unfortunately, I feel the pain people think they are hiding that they don’t want people to see so often have to leave events early. What has society said about transparency over the decades? Here are the most relevant I could find:

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1. This is one gift if you think of it as one you receive as you become more and more transparent.

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2. Simply, His Holiness rocks: Dalai Lama’s Guide To Happiness

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3. All you do is confuse others when you continually change directions.

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4. Wikipedia thinks Himanshu is either an Indian Bollywood actor or a New York rapper, I’m not sure about that, but I really like the intent of this quote: There is So Much Magnificence.

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5. I have discovered I have worn a lot of masks over the years: Shyness, Judgemental, Alcohol and Drug Abuse, it takes committing yourself to a journey to remove them.

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6. Some words: Brene Brown, vulnerability, it’s worth it: Embracing Vulnerability.

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7. Not greatly relevant, but I like it.

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8. How often in our lives don’t we do this for the sake of keeping the peace: Honest.

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9. Transparency may lead you here.

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10. I think if you are living a transparent life, that the other two would just fall in place: I’m Your Man. 

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11. When I am writing a note to the woman I wish to be my beloved I write the following: Remember to Breathe next time we meet, my beloved. From your beloved, if that is what you have chosen. I am still waiting for a reply.

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12. It’s all in the eyes. They say they do not lie as they are the gateway to the soul: Bette Davis Eyes.

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13. Does this go along with Home is Where the Heart Is. Maybe.

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14. This may be a fallout out if people are on different journeys towards transparency: So Am I.

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15. And our final lesson comes from Bono, who points out powerfully the cost of not telling the truth.

There were quite a few definitions of what transparency means, this was my favourite: the quality of being done in an open way without secrets.

In tribute to being in Rise – Speaker Training the playlist contains two spoken word tracks. We begin with His Holiness, The Dalai Lama, then two of my favourites Deva and Miten. Then the current Netflix craze, Brene Brown. Then one of the many rappers around at the moment, Future. Two legends follow in Leonard Cohen and Kim Carnes, completing with Ava Max: Be So Good They Can’t Ignore You.

What I am transparent about is spreading the paradigm Love and Respect for All, Everybody Included. The more people I can have see this as a possibility, the merrier. Until we meet again, my dear friends.

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